Being unable to sleep last night I started instead of counting sheep, listing my favourite characters in Supernatural in comparison to my favourite actors from the show that I look up to for various reasons e.g. charity work / inspirational etc. I was surprised how many crossed over onto both lists and decided to create myself a memory board for each. I then went on to listing all my favourite female characters as I hear so often how female stars get under appreciated in the show but felt that I couldn’t really identify with that, I was forced to stop at 20 of my favourites but had plenty more I could have added, Charlie will forever be my ultimate fave! Not to be left out in the interests of fairness I did the same for the men. I am surprised how quick I had another 20, just goes to show this show has many amazing well rounded characters. This is not everyone by a long shot but I just wanted to make a note of everyone that has had a massive impact on me as they have helped me through dark days, thank you one and all. Also just saying currently ’re-watching the show all the way through for the third time and am I the only one who would have loved to have seen Becky and Garth get together? They would have been so much fun to watch!
Supernatural may be over (at least for now) but my favourite characters live on forever, you have all brightened my life so much and for that I thank you
Soooooo this entire monologue from Crowley’s last episode of the show was just cut entirely, huh. (x)
So, went on a spiral last night trying to piece together the full story of Mark Sheppard’s final episode now that we have this script. For anyone curious, here’s what I’ve been able to conclude/piece together:
1) TPTB didn’t confirm he would be killed off, but he knew he wouldn’t be coming back for S13. He’s talked often about how they started running out of ideas of what to do with his character since late Season 10. He felt he went from “the smartest character on the show to the dumbest” in two seasons.
2) At a Comic Con Copenhagen panel, he gave a short version of the story. He got the script for 12x23 and didn’t like it all at first. From what I could tell, it was a lot more focused on Fergus and Rowena. BUT him and Dabb had a “long conversation about the ending, what was gonna happen.” Mark said, “If you’re gonna do it, do it right…we created this story, this idea, and he wrote it and it was really good. And he out all the things that I wanted. And then we did it and shot it and it was a very good way to go. And then we cut all the stuff that I made.” He also talks about how one of the lines he wrote, the iconic “Even when I lose, I win” wasn’t used but ended being repurposed and reversed for one of AU!Kevin’s dying lines, “Even when I win, I lose.”
3) He got to tell the full story thanks to a panel at C2E2. Wayward Winchester included the full portion of the panel in his video, I made a transcript below:
Panelist: “I love, love, love the story you shot for your character’s last episode. Could you share that versus what the audience saw onscreen?”
Mark Sheppard: “Well, look…I mean. Fair play to Andrew Dabb. He’d written an endpiece, a placemaker endpiece [the rat getaway in 12x21.] He wasn’t quite sure I don’t think what he wanted to do with the end. He did the death in [Episode] 21, which didn’t really make a lot of sense since I don’t spark out…So it just sort of turned into this sort of very complicated thing.”
Mark: “And I already knew I was done…I’d already driven all my stuff from Canada, I didn’t have my apartment anymore. I was aware I wasn’t coming back for Season 13. It was the…situation that dare not speak its name. So, I said my love and goodbyes to everybody. I took my time, took a couple weeks to thank everybody that I knew. It wasn’t an event, it was a sort of…slow letting out of a balloon.”
“[Episode] 21 was [Episode] 21. I was like, ‘Are you gonna fix it?’. Said it’d make more sense to leave him dead there [instead of the rat getaway], 'much more of a shock.’ And he said 'No, no, no we have to get this right.’ And I said okay. And he sent me a script [for 12x23] and I said: 'Look. I love you and thank you for everything you’ve done but you know maybe we can focus in a little direction here.’ And I said, 'You know, I… the only thing…Crowley doesn’t care about Fergus and he doesn’t care about Rowena and he doesn’t care about any of that stuff. He never really did. He only cares about winning. He always cared about winning.’ And you know, he just constantly won.”
“And you know, there was a thing…I had a joke with Jeremy [Carver] for years that even if they wrote me losing in a situation, I was going to play it like it was my idea anyway. He started laughing. I was talking to Robbie Thompson [at the convention] today and I was going 'It doesn’t matter what you guys wrote for me, I always wrote it like - always played it like it was my idea.’ Like 'I always knew that this was gonna happen, like I knew they were going to get the drop on me.’ And so it was fun to play it that way.”
“So they rewrote the end and the end was written. And you know, Andrew did a really good job writing. There’s this HUGE speech in the Men of Letters and I’d asked him for a line that I wanted to put in. So when Rowena’s dead, [I’m like] 'Lucifer?….Funny I always thought it’d be me that killed her.’ And everyone was like 'You can’t, that’s awful, that’s terrible’ And I was like, 'But it’s absolutely correct.’ And they’re like, 'Yeah it is kind of absolutely correct. It makes sense.’ Rowena was never really a mother to Crowley. The thing that was the problem for Crowley was that it’s Fergus’s mother, not Crowley’s mother, and that’s always what gets so irritating about it. I’ve always played as 'Well everybody else has a mother, so why can’t I?’ and [Ruth] always played it rather brilliantly in that way.”
“They put in this huge, great speech that Andrew wrote about like…I’ve been trying to keep my job for so long I never realized how much I hated it. I think that was a bit personal for me.” Laughs. “But it was like…it was written very caustically in that way and I think Bob [Singer] deliberately designed the shot so that he could cut the middle out, containing the words, 'I just kept going on and winning and winning and winning. Never stopping, winning even when I lost. Even when I lose, I won.’ You know, never stop winning…and then I come back into the conclusion of the thing to them at the table.”
“And at the end when Lucifer is there. And I step up and I know that I’m the only answer in this way. He goes 'you know you took it personally and I was like 'I hate that, let’s just play it that out…yes you humiliated me. How the hell could Crowley be humiliated? I mean he has no…the guy was as deviant and odd as you could possibly be.”
[Sidenote: as a lot of us know, he had a lot of issues in general with the Lucifer vs. Crowley storyline and how it was written to make Crowley seem weak, humiliated, that he lost the upper hand i.e. that Crowley and the dog leash thing.]
Panelist: “He would flip everything as winning!”
Mark: “Exactly! Yeah. It didn’t make any difference so it was like okay I’ll let that go but it’s like…He goes, the line was 'You know, you’re going to lose.’ And my line was 'Funny you should say that.’ And then I say, 'Because even when I lose, I win.’ And I turned around to the boys and I said 'Goodbye Boys’ and then stabbed myself. Which is supposed to be the big shock moment…and so they cut it out. And I was like…hmm. Well that made it less fun than it would’ve been.” Panelist agrees. “So it was a little bit ehhhh…so I did a t-shirt in revenge and we raised plenty of money for charity.”
He is of course referring to the Stands shirt he did for charity with the cut phrase:
3) This script won in the auction by @spnscripthunt is a Production Draft. For anyone new to screenwriting, Robbie Thompson broke down the process before:
- Writer’s Draft
- Studio Draft
- Network Draft
- Production Draft (then different colored drafts for production revisions)
One line Mark came up with did make it air and was in this Production Draft (the line about Rowena’s death.) Script vs. what aired below:
There were also some lines and mentions of “winning” during his speech in the Bunker in both.
However, the infamous “Even when I lose, I win” line was neither in this Production Draft or the aired version. My best guess is that it was a Production Draft Revision. Here’s his final lines in both instead (the script focused more on his relationship with the boys, the aired version had the set-up for the line but skipped right over it clearly indicating it was cut.)
4) It’s hard to blame this all on Dabb, because he did write the scene and lines that Mark wanted and created a story they both agreed on. Mark mentioned Robert Singer was likely the one to cut it/direct it so the new lines could easily be cut.
It’s possible the monologue was cut because of the dark, almost suicidal nature of it all (thank you to all who tagged CWs for it.) But to cut out the lines about winning even he loses IS demoralizing and humiliating. It takes away any sense of dignity and pride both the character and actor was able to get in his final episode, just to make Lucifer seem more powerful.
5) The script also says “or is he?” in regards to Crowley being dead. This is also used in the script for both the Rowena and Castiel death reveals, who both come back in S13 (Misha’s return was definitely planned, Rowena/Ruth didn’t appear until 13x12.) It’s possible the show was planning on finding a way to bring Crowley/Mark back in some form, just not as a regular. And possibly not even in that season.
When Jim Michaels tried to comment publicly that maybe they hadn’t seen the last of Crowley yet though, this exchange happened:
Mark also stopped appearing at Creation-run cons that year, though he did appear at non-Creation conventions for Supernatural and of course general comic cons like C2E2.
Overall, it’s a BIG mess. Between this and the recent Kim Rhodes livestream on how she feel like there should’ve been a goodbye for Jody, there is definitely a running trend that the side characters always get anticlimactic and impersonal endings. Kim and Mark were not in as many episodes as Misha but have been on the show since S5. Yet Kim’s last episode was all about Claire and Kaia, since she had to be the emotional stand-in for Claire. Cas’s final scene was mostly about Dean. Crowley’s last episode was bookcased with Rowena, Kelly, Castiel, and Mary’s death/disappearance plus the introduction of Jack and the apocalypse world. Actors shouldn’t feel like villains for simply wanting a proper ending for their character, for both them and the SPN family. It’s not selfish to want that closure.
AN: This is a follow-up on the story idea I posted awhile back. I got great feedback and a lot of people seemed to like it, so here it is. I just hope I did your expectations justice. Just please remember, this is where it all starts, and after this, I promise you chapters will be longer. Anyway, enjoy!
She had been in the Field for the longest time. She walked around, picked wildflowers and hummed to herself. The noise of the waterfall calmed her down, the sun shone on her fiery red hair.
Sometimes, she skipped around and sang merrily as though she were a fledgling again. Then there were times when she would sit on the craggy hills, thinking of the Four. As everything had started with them, so it would end. But that wasn’t a topic she would linger long on, since the only reason for her presence in the Field was for her peace of mind.
She would forget Them for eons. ‘Live in the moment,’ like Father had said.
“You will wake up when they see reason.” He had told her. “This will not be your eternity. I give you my word.”
She had trusted Him and had been trapped in a boundless cycle ever since. But He had promised, and she would hold Him to it. He wouldn’t leave her like this forever.
Time passed quickly in the Field. Occasionally, she would peek into her vessel’s life, curious to see who the Container was this time. Every time she did so, it was someone different. Her spirit wasn’t bound by gender or appearance, so seeing a male with raven hair one day and a female brunette the next wasn’t so surprising.
There weren’t many vessels who caught her attention. They were normal beyond normal, unremarkable beyond standard. She wasn’t one to complain, though. Father had made it so that They would have a harder time of finding her, if They even managed to catch a hint of her whereabouts.
“I like this not, Father. The Four will be lost without me.” She had said at first.
“And that is how They will learn their lesson. They will never appreciate your gift if They always have it at an arm’s reach.”
“Yes, Father, of course.” She had said. That’s what she always said.
The first signs of true awareness came when she was in the body of a young woman named Lillian di Angelo, who had hair not unlike her own. She wasn’t sure whether to appreciate the irony or groan in exasperation.
That day, she happened to be checking on her vessel, so when she managed to control Lillian’s body without being forcefully ejected back into the Field, it threw her off. Moving the twenty-year-old woman’s petite hand had been a novel feeling; stretching her limbs had been a sensation she had cherished.
It took approximately seven days to get over her disorientation and three straight weeks of meditation and sifting through Lillian’s memories to be able to get out in the human world. Adam and Eve’s descendants were undoubtedly strange, but she had centuries worth of human experience to pull off on (though she quickly discovered that human’s no longer lived in caves).
Lillian was a lonely person, she found out. The young girl was an introvert, the apparent laughingstock of her college campus. An art major, the girl preferred to keep her head down, pay attention, and do well. A harmful relationship in which she had refused to have sexual intercourse with her partner had resulted in the girl’s ruin, and video footage showed Lillian and her partner in what was apparently the deep throes of passion.
A slut, they called her. Lillian was shamed wherever she went, so it was no wonder she locked herself up for weeks on end, taking online classes instead of present ones.
When she took over Lillian’s body, it had been just before the girl gave up on everything she’d ever wanted.
“Please, take me,” she’d been begging. “I don’t know what life means anymore, it doesn’t matter!”
The knife had nearly reached the destination which had been her throat, but a timely arrival had prevented a needless death.
The first thing she did after acclimating to the human world, she packed bare necessities and fled the hellhole which had been Lillian’s home for the past two years. Extensive research led her to come to the conclusion that it was, indeed, Armageddon, and she hadn’t been awoken because They had finally seen reason. No, that wasn’t the reason at all. This was the final show, and Father wanted her to have a front-row seat.
What would happen? She had no clue. But for now, she decided, it was the high time people remembered who Hadraniel, the angel of love and fire was.
Supernatural Network Arena Pitch: Episodes 412 and 414 (“Criss Angel is a Douche Bag” and “Sex and Violence”)
Supernatural Studio Story Arenas 411 and 412 (“Family Remains” and “High School Horror”)
Supernatural “Torn and Frayed” Episode 810 One-Line Schedule
Salt and Burn charm bracelet donated by TheGreenCooler: 8 inch silver-colored charm bracelet. Black onyx and red crystal dangle on spirals, one vial of salt, one revolver charm, one small book charm “Supernatual by Carver Edlund”
Custom Enochian earrings donated by TheGreenCooler: https://twitter. com/thegreencooler/ 1.25 inch handmade plastic disc with your choice of Enochian letter. Additional charm dangles from bottom (many choices of color bead on spiral or feather charm. 2-3 inches in total dangly length. Silver (stamped 925) earring hook.
Here’s a little autograph story about how it went with both Misha and Mark Sheppard this Sunday at DLC4
I handed Misha my beat up copy of Patient Love for him to sign the title page. He started signing really quick like he usually does, while I was telling him it was my own book and a story I wrote. When I reached the part where I told him that today was my 11-year sobriety anniversary, he just stopped writing right away, closed the book, looked up at me with widened eyes and said “holy shit that’s AMAZING”.
I explained that I used Dean and Cas in this story as a way to write my own cathartic story through them and their love. At this point he opened the book back and started writing something else while I was talking. I didn’t have the time to read what he was writing because at this point I was really emotional and shaken (the man that helped me through some super hard years of my life was signing MY book, the story that I wrote as a way of healing myself!)
Once we were done, he thanked me and winked at me like he juste does to everyone. I walked away to go to my Mark Sheppard autograph next, and once in line for it I was finally able to open the book to see what he had added… And realized he wrote “congrats on 11 years”.
I also told Mark about today’s significance and he told me he was proud of me, and told me that he had been sober for more than thirty years at this point.
This day is such a hard day for me usually, but today has been incredible, surrounded by old and new friends, and with a cast that I adore.
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