You know, it’s funny. One of the biggest criticisms of ‘classic’ yaoi and female-curated m/m shipping (say from, the 90s and early 2000s) was that it was too obviously heteronormative. Straight women were the ones making the vast majority of this content, which is the reason why it focused heavily on a masculine, take-charge ‘seme’ (the man) bedding the shy, often naive, and usually feminine uke (the woman). These usual seme/uke tropes were eventually challenged as more gay people started giving their input, and writers/creators took the advice into account for authenticity’s sake (alongside the fact that more gay people started making their own content). The actual specifics of sex acts even became more accurate as a result of this, but also noteworthy is how there was a strive to be more diverse in the types of couples and relationships shown in m/m shipping, ie, ‘the physically smaller one doesn’t ALWAYS have to be the uke bottom’ and ‘they don’t HAVE to have strict roles in bed. Gay people aren’t straight–we can and DO switch things up sometimes!’ I can’t speak for gay men, but this overall push to “do better” seemed like it was making a real improvement in the world of slash shipping, especially compared to ye olde “yaoi” days. And yet, now that trans men make up probably the biggest percentage of m/m shippers next to straight women (because they are straight women) it’s kind of ironic that some of them seem to be vying for “classic” dynamics: “seme” and “uke” making a comeback in the form of “top” and bottom” as understood by straight women, and all while they dress up such pleas as if they were PSAs from actual gay men who just happen to be super invested in how female shippers portray fictional slash couples. And hey, maybe I’m wrong. As a lesbian, my experience is that, yes actually, most gays are switches. But I’m also aware that gay men are thought to be more strict sex-role-wise, and maybe that’s true. Either way, that isn’t actually the point. The point, and disturbing trend, is how so many women love to act like authorities on gay male culture, feeling ‘defensive’ on their behalf, and using this fake veneer of ‘authenticity’ that their trans identity provides them to one-up other shippers (and, at times, talk over actual gay men). I do hope that this chick is wrong in her assertion that “too often [this language] crosses over into being deeply disrespectful of IRL gay people and gay cultural norms”. But looking at much of the other fujo-related discourse I’ve seen lately, I think it’s safe to say that she’s not.
I always hear that top and bottom roles are tinged by sex stereotypes among us gay men, but I’ve never seen this borne out in my personal experience. There seems to be no connection between a guy’s personality and adherence to sex stereotypes, and whether he prefers to penetrate or be penetrated. In fact it’s so variable that the phenomenon of “femtops” has become a meme.
Seme and uke dynamics are for straight female adolescent romance novels. It is the Edward and Bella dynamic. Gay men don’t act that shit out in real life. Most gay men are workaholics looking for other workaholics. No one has time to babysit an emotionally needy, masochistic bottom.
“A gay man who grow up in gay club”
Why are you lying girl lmao you really think ???
Straight people are always so obvious and embarrassing……and I HATE how obsessed they are with the word “twink”. They heard it once and became unable to shut up about it since. Every fucking time.
