#funsies

The Pear

The morning sun shone hot in the sky above as the marketplace bustled around her; a woman, young, tawny colored hair, lightly burned skin, stood on a corner in the shade of a wood building, staring idly at the crowd. She sighed as her finger played lazily over her lips. She felt her stomach rumble and checked her coin purse. Empty. Of course. Her eyes flicked back to the crowd, head low now. She needed to eat, and those pears looked awfully tempting.

              Normally, Saga wouldn’t be one for thievery, but she had no coin, and no way to get any. She pulled her hood up and stepped into the light of the sun. She took a deep breath and headed down the street out of sight of the food vendors before turning down an alley and heading back towards them. She watched from the dark alleyways as passed hundreds of people, not one of them seeing her. She kept her eyes peeled on the main street, she saw the vendors, heard them calling out their wares. The smell of fresh baked breads, cooked meats, and steamed veggies filled her nose, making her stomach grumble again. It edged her forward, passed the vendors. She headed towards the main street and watched a guard patrol pass her in the alley, neither one seemed to notice her. She emerged from behind them watching them.

              The smell of the vendors continued tempting her as they came into full view. Saga caught sight of the fruit vendor, the pears sat at the front of the stall, pale and fresh and fragrant. She sped up a little, passing closely to the stall, her hand slipped over a succulent pear and she quickly stashed it in her satchel. She walked a bit further, an apple joined the pear, then a mango, then a few lychee berries before she left that stall. She passed the bread vendor; a small loaf was whisked into her satchel as her eyes scanned the crowd. She crossed  the dirt path to the dried meats, a few strips plopped in. She could feel the weight of her bag on her shoulder and hip. Finally, she made her way to some fresh vegetables, she grabbed a small head of lettuce, a radish, then a tomato. That’s when she felt a hard, wooden board and cascade of small tomatoes gather around her feet. The board hit her ankle causing her to yelp in pain, drawing the attention of the vendor; a squat Halfling woman with dark skin, a head of bushy, black hair spilling over her shoulders, and a kind face. The woman hopped down from her stool and rushed over to Saga.

              “Oh, I’m so sorry, dearie. I’ve been meaning to fix that board for weeks!” she squeaked as she bent down to pick up the board, she turned and pushed the nails back into their place, then began picking up the tomatoes. Saga hurriedly squatted down and also began quickly stuffing tomatoes back onto the shelf. Suddenly, she was jostled from behind and stumbled forward, falling to one knee, and catching herself on one hand. She closed her eyes, realizing she never closed her bag and a head of lettuce, a radish, and an apple tumbled onto the ground. She opened one eye and saw complete shock on the woman’s face. The woman’s eyes darted between Saga and the vegetables and fruit on the ground. “You-!” and before the woman could finish Saga stuffed the items back into her bag as fast as she could. “GUARDS! THIEF!” shouted the woman, jumping up and down, catching the eyes of so many around them. Saga turned and saw the two guards from the patrol a few minutes ago drawing their weapons. Saga took off into the crowd, closing her bag.

              She could hear the guards close behind her shouting for her to stop. A smirk slid across her face as she slipped down an alleyway. The chase was on. She turned right, then left, then vaulted over a pile of refuse. She looked towards the main streets, hearing shouting she saw two more guards come barreling down the alley towards her on her left. She ran right and hit a dead-end, sort of. She looked up the tall stone wall and glanced behind her, four guards appeared from around the corner. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears as they approached her, scowls and sneers plastered on their faces. Saga looked back to the wall, moving to the corner. She leapt up, her feet pushing off one wall and further up the other, as she lost a bit of momentum, she used her feet and hands to hold her between the walls in the corner, then she spider climbed up and onto the roof, taking off again.

              Saga dashed across the rooftops, but she wouldn’t lose the guard so easily. The shouting drew attention from a nearby stationary rooftop patrol. Armed with a crossbow the singular guard drew her crossbow. Saga heard the bolt ping off the terracotta shingle just behind her, then another shattered to her right. She jumped up on a taller building, she could hear the guards shouting to each other her location. She jumped across an alley just to be met with a guard climbing a lattice dead ahead of her. She skidded to a stop and changed her direction. She ran towards the north edge of the building, the street between buildings was too wide. She looked for an escape as the guard closed in behind her. She saw a clothesline stretching across the gap. Saga glanced behind her and saw the glint of a raised sword, she spun around as it came crashing down into the stonework beside her. Heart pounding louder, chest heaving for air, she balled up her fist and threw a wild punch. It landed squarely on his jaw, the guard stumbled back clutching his face and cursing. Another guard rushed forward towards her. She was ready this time and jabbed twice, once in his shoulder and once in his nose, before he even readied his sabre. He doubled over, shouting his pain as she took off to the clothesline.

She jumped down onto it and bowed greatly under her weight before bouncing back up, she took a moment to steady herself, trying to stay upright. Slowly she stood up, arms out beside her to keep her balance as she moved forward. She looked down and saw three guards staring up at her in amazement. One of them reeled back and threw a javelin, Saga lurched forward, the javelin clattered to the ground below. She flailed a moment to keep from falling, one foot after the other she made her way shakily across. She bounced the clothesline, gaining momentum as another javelin crashed against the wall. As the clothesline began to rebound upward, she used the force to lift up to the roof above. She lifted herself up as an arrow whistled past her ear. All this for some food? She thought to herself as she raced to the next building.

She was just a bit short, the tips of her fingers hooked onto the gutter as her body slammed against the wall. She felt the breath forced from her chest and her vision went blurry for a second. She felt her fingers begin to slip as she scrambled and kicked her feet against the wall to lift herself up. She crouched there on the roof, her chest burning, her heart pounding like a war drum in her chest. She placed a hand on her chest feeling it hammer against her rib cage. She took a deep breath as she tried to listen for a moment, she could still hear shouting, though it didn’t seem close. Thinking for a moment she was safe, Saga looked through her bag and pulled out the pear.

She held it gently in her hand, admiring its perfection before going in to take a bite. Her mouth never found the pear as she saw a flash of movement before it vanished from her fingers. She looked and saw it pinned to the roof with a crossbow bolt. Her shoulders dropped and her brow furrowed as she glanced out over the city behind her. A lone guard stood four buildings away, crossbow still aimed. Saga stood facing the guard and threw her hands up.

“Really, man?” she shouted, frustration and disappointment cracking it. Another bolt whizzed toward her. She caught it between her hands, an inch from her nose, “well, fuck you too, then, I guess,” she muttered under her breath as she flung it off to the side. Saga turned and plucked the pear and bolt from the roof, she disappeared once again just beyond the crest of the tiled roof.

She looked around, taking stock of where she’d ended up. She saw a few towers, some large lyceum looking building with a large green courtyard. Little black figures could be seen racing to and fro across the lawns. Some taller buildings were scattered about as well. All of the nearby structures looked similar, deep brown or tan bricks, tall narrow windows, large heavy looking doors, flat roofs. Probably the Academic Ward, she thought, definitely the Academic Ward. A ruckus down below snapped her out of her thoughts, a troupe of six guards were rushing towards her, plowing over some poor students as they raised their weapons, one of them carried a ladder with them. Saga stared blankly for a moment, determinedfucks, it’s just some food. Saga’s eyes darted around for an escape, again. The tall building just in front of her looked promising, as long as she could keep moving up. She took a few steps back and rolled her neck. She bounded forward, gaining speed, racing towards the edge of the roof, praying this would work, she pushed off with all her strength immediately snapping her feet in front of her. She felt the wall under the ball of her feet and stretched up, reaching for the ledge. One step. Push. Two step. Push. Come on. Reach. Her fingertips brushed it. Nearly there. Her palm scraped the edge. Grab it. All sound except for her breathing disappeared. Her feet slipped out from under her on the wall and she felt stillness. She hung in the air just a moment before she herself falling, for just a moment.

She felt her arm pull and her body hit the wall. She made it, just barely. She scrambled up the wall, a ladder clattered next to her and the shouting came back in full force. She pulled herself up on the wall, she took one step forward and fell, smacking her face on the roof. She heard the heavy footsteps of more guards coming up the ladder. She looked back and saw them quickly climbing the wall and surrounding her. She stood up, two of them pushed their swords at her and she froze.

“Gods damn it, stop fucking running,” a gruff voice rang out, a woman bringing up the back had finally made her way over to her; a tall Elven woman, her red hair in a tightly braided bun, which was now loosening with some strands sticking to her forehead as sweat streamed down her face. Her armor was a bit more ornate than the others, a captain maybe. “You’re fucking under arrest for theft and assault.” She said breathlessly. A cranky bitch that’s for sure.

“Assault? I did no such thing. Steal, sure, but I didn’t hurt anyone,” Saga said confused, “Look, I’ll give back the food, but I’ll challenge that other charge.” Saga wiped the sweat from her own brow.

“So, my lieutenant has a broken nose for no reason?” she growled. Saga blinked.

“Ah, that.” She mumbled. She looked and saw a guards with a swollen face and black eyes, blood trickling down his lips.

“Chain her!” the Elven woman barked as she turned away, one man stepped forward, shackles in hand and open. Saga shook her head and took a step back. Quick as lightning, her fists shot forward, earning a yelp from the man as he stumbled back, another one stepped up. Her foot landed with a crack across his face, he fell to one knee grasping his jaw. She felt two arms wrap around her shoulders and lift her off the ground, she leaned back, picking up her feet. Using her weight, she rocked forward with all her might, kicking her feet out, grabbing her assailant’s wrists, she threw him over her shoulder, slamming him into the ground. Handsup, she thought, handsuptoprotecttheface.And just in time, as her arm caught and deflected a blow from a blade. Hot, searing pain shot through her arm. She backed up, avoiding another blow to her ribs. Her opponent swinging wildly, Saga waited for an opening. Her many years of training and meditating were good for at least one thing, she thought as she grabbed the other woman’s neck and slammed her nose into her knee, she slumped to the ground and did not stand back up. Saga took off running once again, shaking her head. She didn’t go  far until she realized, she really had nowhere to go from here. Except down. Roughly forty feet down. Fuck. She looked at her arm, blood poured from her arm, dripping from her fingers to the brown bricks. She turned and watched the remaining three guards close in on her.

The captain looked absolutely livid, Saga couldn’t tell if it was the chase or her anger that made her face so red. Saga clutched her bag, thankful she still had her food in there. She tried to take a step back, but she felt her heel go over the edge and so tried to stand her ground. It’d really be worse if she tried fighting anymore. She glanced down one more time. She could make it, right? Going to have to test this theory sooner or later, may as well make it sooner.

Saga threw her hands up, leaned back and let herself fall over the edge. The look of shock and anger on the Elven woman’s face will always be with Saga, an amusing memory of a great day. She twisted around and got her feet under her, she hit the ground on all fours and rolled. She laid on her back, pain blurring her vision. She blinked and saw the three guards staring down at her from the rooftop, utterly stunned. Saga stood up, brushed herself off and walked calmly down another alley towards the outer rim of the city. She felt her bag, it was dry, she peeked in, all the food seemed intact. She made her way out of the city, into the surrounding farmland.

Saga walked for a few hours until the sun began to set, she made her way to the top of a hill. There were a few trees clustered there and she sat nestled in the roots and watched the sun set behind the city. After some time, she reached into her bag and ate some of her food. She dug for her precious pear and didn’t feel it. She looked and didn’t see it. Maybe she stuck it in a pocket, she searched herself frantically, no sign of the pear. Then she remembered the fight on the rooftop in the Academic Ward. She recalled the small splat as she surrendered momentarily. Deep disappointment welled up inside her and her face scrunched up, fighting back tears. Saga buried her face in her hands.

“I dropped the fucking pear.” She whimpered.

fckmypssywtharakemom:

boyc4t:

guts2002-deactivated20211208:

bonediggercharleston:

teathattast:

teathattast:

brd.jpg

That things has more energy density than uranium