Summary: Sometimes happiness means Geto Suguru’s Happiness
Characters: Geto x reader
cw: angst, reader is crazy in love with geto, mention of death, minor manga spoiler
A/n: uhm, help me with the title pls?
“I trust him more than I trust myself.” At long last, you said it. The truth you have been holding that feels like ages. You always wanted to proclaim it, shove it to everyone’s face, and scrape it on your skin but what’s stopping you? Fear? Abandonment? Condemnation? Maybe, but now you won’t have to feel that. Not when you are ready to give up everything for him, ready to throw everyone else for him. For the scraps of his love and for the declaration on yours.
“Do you realize how crazy you sound right now y/n? he’s a goddamn serial killer wake up!” You said nothing but silence, unwary of the rage and disgust that your friend is offering you right now. Unhinged and stupid enough to understand the words she utter is reality. Unable to think properly whether the love of your life is a serial killer or a dejected son of God. It is a fact that he is a ticking bomb, a heartless mass murderer that killed hundreds-no thousands of people. He’s willing to kill everyone, even killed his own parents for his twisted morals. He signifies death, stinks of misfortune, and bleeds ruination but that didn’t matter because it didn’t scare you. He didn’t scare you, not a bit because you saw him differently. You saw him more than his violence, you saw him beyond his transgressions. They never saw him the way you saw him so they didn’t realize that those dull melancholy eyes were suffocating in pity. Those loneliest nights were his mind was destroying him doing the unthinkable and that of he’s just yearning for someone’s touch, someone’s warmth, and someone’s affection. Someone to tell him that he’s not alone and it will be okay. Those guilty hands and thorn heart that shouted truce where he wanted to stop but he couldn’t. How can you be truly scared of him when you saw him stripped naked with wounds covering his whole body, soul shattered to pieces, and mind covered in a vast darkness. He wanted to be saved but couldn’t. He just wanted to be free. Free of pain and free of terror and so he did.
“Your right, Maybe I am crazy, cuz I fucking love him no matter what you say and no matter what I do.”
“He’s just using you, you know that after he gets what he wants he’ll kill you. He’ll do it without a second thought.”
Your mind began to wonder at the thought of him, Geto Suguru, your master, the love of your life. You saw him at his lowest that facades his glory and you know what he feels inside. He wanted the truth. Freedom of fear, abandonment and death. He wants to be strong and to do that you’ll have to die. God, would you really deny him? Deny his will and candor? Can you say no to his glistening black eyes that cry out peace and unadulterated joy as he witnesses your dying body on the cold ground chasing the last second of your life with an imprint of his genuine buoyancy as he walks towards his eternal truth leaving you behind?
Your heart throbbed, soul faltering, just the slip of his genuine joy makes you weak and restless. If that gives him his freedom, his true happiness, and fulfillment then you’ll do it. You’ll do it in a heartbeat.
“I know and I’ll die on that day with a smile on my face because the person I love the most had at last reached his heaven thus, I did.”
You wished someone actually warned you about how scary boys can be. It was partially your fault since the striking red signs your friends hinted from their vent, you chose to listen to them half-assed; they kept on complaining yet never leaving their partners - you thought they were rubbing off the fact that you were wet behind your ears, still.
But you were beginning to understand why your friends acted like that. Those weren’t words of anger but frustration. The sort of feeling when you were still a kid, your older siblings would make fun of your little lisp - you couldn’t be angry because you knew they were only teasing.
By the end of the day, you’d be rewarded with a bigger treat.
Thus the reason why he was able to do as he pleased to his heart content.
“Hmm? Where are you looking?” He was so much taller than you and his height alone was enough to tower over you - you couldn’t look anywhere past the shelves behind him because if you didn’t, then you lost to him. Since it was impossible to not see his three top buttons were unclasped.
White skin, visible blue veins, and the beautiful arc of his throat. He cornered you just where he desired - your back faced the wall while he stood only 3 steps from you.
