#god this is so true
i love when people are like “Oh my god, I couldn’t possibly imagine being asexual, how sad, you’re missing so much…” Bitch!!! You know what’s sad? Being gluten intolerant. If you placed two pills in front of me right now, one which would turn me allosexual and one which would enable me to tear into a freshly-baked oven-warm olive-and-rosemary ciabatta without utterly destroying my body, it would not even be a choice.“hyuhhh-duhhhh aren’t you worried you’ll die alone” aren’t you worried i’ll just launch myself over the bakery counter in our local grocery store one day and stuff croissants in my mouth like a starving racoon til i die and the whole place has to be closed down as a health risk while they peel my bloated body off the linoleum floor? You should be
What i have learned from the tags of this post is that there is a whole community of gluten intolerant asexuals and we are all DESPERATELY horny for bread
I’m not even gluten intolerant and I’d go for the bread
When we said garlic bread over sex, we weren’t fucking joking.
sex is a thing, bread is an experience
I think it is SO HOT when a man unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants it makes me go it’s like yes hello a present for me thank you for unwrapping it daddy
