#goddamn i am such a mess

I remember a little girl in our neighborhood getting a life-sized dolly for Christmas.  I was both fascinated and terrified of the damned thing.  I so wanted to play with it and see if its clothes would fit me.  I was also scared that my stepmother might get it in her head to get me one.  

Sometimes I wish she had.  Just to see how things might have turned out.  It might not have been all that bad.  I mean, what was the worst thing that could have happened?  (o_O)