#guardian ad litem

The piece below was written by Child Advocate Khalid Allahar, in rememberance of Carla Merhige. Her advocacy efforts and kindness will forever linger in the hearts of those that had the priviledge of meeting her, and even those who haven’t, as her efforts live on through all those she inspired.

Faces come in and out of our lives everyday, each serving their purpose. Few linger in our thoughts long after they’re gone.  Carla Merhige is one of those that linger in my thoughts, as she does for those who knew her. She was an inspiration and enduring example of how one should treat others.

Carla seemed to be born a singer and spent her life singing: Inspiring her class mates with her twin sister Lisa as they sang in school plays, enticing a newlywed couple onto the dance floor for their first dance with a song and receiving cheers from her friends and co-workers as she performed in singing competitions.  Countless times we would sit in our office and through our paper thin walls you would hear Carla, working at her desk, effortlessly singing a Celine Dion or Barbra Streisand tune, she was our very own singing supervisor. 

 But it is how Carla used her voice for the last nine years of her life that is also remembered. Fighting, caring, and representing abused and neglected children in our community as a Guardian Ad Litem and mentor to those who she led as a supervisor.  She used her voice to sing at the National Adoption day celebrations, which is now known as Carla Merhige National Adoption Day, in honor of all that she did for our communities most vulnerable and every year she is remembered on this day. 

The job was never easy, but Carla made it seem that way. Whenever we had an issue, we would call her and she would talk us through what we needed to be done.  If anyone ever had something to talk about, there was no need to set an appointment, her door was always open.  When you walked in she was never too busy to stop what she was doing, put down her pen or stop typing and look at you with smile and ask, “How can I help you?”  She was there for you when you needed.  Her friends saw this quality and so did the children she represented.   She was not tainted by nine years of dealing with the drama of the dependency system because she knew what needed to be done.   

I recall one day when I needed her help on a case and a staffing with the agency was needed. Carla came with me to the staffing and after what seemed like two hours talking back and forth for what we wanted for the child in this case, Carla still had the energy to go another round.  She continued arguing our point even after they gave into our demands.  I had to subtly hold her hand and whispered to her “Hold on Carla, let them talk, I think they’re agreeing with us now”.  She never gave up when all seemed hopeless, because as an adult ,she knew that if she decided to give up and walk away, a child would still be in the  system with no one to stand up for them.  Carla’s efforts contributed to the lives of countless children that she advocated for and her efforts  continue today through the efforts of those she inspired to take that extra step in advocating for a child .

We all want to leave our mark on this world when we leave and some do not know how. I know I spent a great deal of time thinking about the track I am taking in life.  Am I doing something to benefit humanity?    It took me years to realize that I don’t need to run off to a developing nation to save humanity; I am already making a difference by what I am doing here with the Guardian program.  We, like Carla, are serving a purpose.  Our efforts are not in vain.  We have inspired young adults to choose a career in life, found families for our children that will see them through the roller coaster of life, discovered hidden talents in the children we represent and found ways to help them develop when no one else had the time.   We are all that voice that Carla strived to be everyday.    

One of our Guardian ad Litem Child Advocacy Coordinators, Yani Sanchez, wrote the following article for the November edition of our newsletter. We hope this piece encourages and motivates others to take on the role of a Guardian ad Litem and make a change in a child’s life. For more information, visit: www.weareguardians.org

If we were to judge our community by how we treat our most vulnerable, we would all be ashamed of ourselves.  I use the word vulnerable quite liberally as that is how best to describe them.  They are voices yearning to be heard in a world where laws, political red tape and biased opinions dictate the route to where their journey begins and ends.  Without a loud voice, one that resonates in the court room, one that makes a judge, a case manager, a therapist or even a parent take a step back and realize there is truth to what we advocate for.  If for a moment, we worked together as one, we can and we will move forward with ways to protect our most vulnerable. 

I write this as my favorite holiday nears; Thanksgiving which to me is kind of like Christmas without the hassle of buying gifts but with the bounteous food.  As we know it’s a day to give thanks.  I have a long list of things to be thankful for.  But for the past 4 years, my number one has been being a GAL.  It’s easy to forget where we come from and at times throw our hands up in the air and say forget it.  It’s just not worth it.  But every now and then we meet these special children who remind us why we do what we do. 

I’ve been a supervisor for almost 2 years and I’m also an adoptive mother.  I’ve seen it all from severe physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, and recently the tragic death of a child.  I’ve done visits all over Miami to Broward County at all hours of the day and night.  I’ve sat in my car in the middle of a drug bust.  I’ve gone out looking for a runaway teen in the middle of the night to find her back with her abusive grandfather.  I’ve stood in a hospital room watching a 2 year old take his final breaths.  I’ve done it all.  At times I ask why? We walk into court and advocate and so many times it feels like our recommendations fall on deaf ears.  What is the point? 

Truth is had I not sat in my car during a drug bust, I wouldn’t have caught the mother’s boyfriend living in her home.  Had I not found my teen in her grandfather’s home, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to tell her that real love doesn’t come from your father or grandfather touching you; real love/unconditional love never abuses, never hurts, real love drives around looking for you in the middle of the night to make sure you are safe.  Had I not gone to the hospital everyday for a week to visit a little boy on life support, I would not have hugged my son a little tighter and told him once again that I will always keep him safe.  Most importantly, had any of these experiences never happened, I would not be writing this letter as a reminder that what you do, what WE do as GALs matters.  It matters to our children.  While you gather yourselves with your own families, remember those 22 children we’ve lost this year;  Aaliyah, Bryan, K.F., Fernando, Antwan, Ezra, Cherish, Dakota, Michael, Christian, Jayden, Yvonne, Jewel, K.S, Luis and the rest whose names are unavailable.    Remember that if we join forces, we have the power to protect those left behind.  Remember to rise up and speak up.  These are our kids, our community and our future. 

This Thanksgiving, I will give thanks for all of you.  Without you, our children will continue to be countless whispers in a world where they so desperately deserve to be heard.