DIE HARD was an adaptation of the novel Nothing Lasts Forever, the sequel to another book called The Detective. That one had already been made into a movie starring Frank Sinatra, and when he declined to return for the sequel, the plot was initially reworked to become a sequel to the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie COMMANDO instead. Only when he too passed on the project did it get rewritten again into its final form.
DIE HARDER was an adaptation of the novel 58 Minutes, which is by a different author and is entirely unrelated to Nothing Lasts Forever. Characters and plot details were reworked in adaptation so that the movie could function as a DIE HARD sequel.
DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE began life as an original script called Simon Says. It went through several iterations, including one where it was a LETHAL WEAPON sequel, before eventually being reworked to be the third DIE HARD.
(There had earlier been a script specifically written to be the third DIE HARD movie, but Bruce Willis rejected it as too similar to the first movies. That one was later reworked to become SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL.)
LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD began as an original script called WW3.com. It too was purchased and rewritten to be a DIE HARD film.
A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD, the latest movie in the series, was actually written specifically as a sequel. However, its original title was Die Hard 24/7, and it was intended as a crossover with the recently-ended television show 24. When that plan fell apart, the Jack Bauer character was rewritten to be John McClane’s adult son.
Anyway, the moral of the story is to never let yourself get discouraged! Despite unlikely beginnings and early setbacks, you too could someday be rewritten to be a DIE HARD film.
The best cover for Bruce Wayne would be dumb carefree playboy who is also Instagram Optimistic, everyday he’s posting a selfie of his smiling at his breakfast with a caption like “it’s a waffle day! #goodvibesingotham #grateful” or a picture of a sunrise with a caption that’s just “wow #blessed”
Bruce Wayne ending up as Gotham’s favoured son because he may be an idiot, but he’s a cheerful idiot, and he donates tons to charity and genuinely loves Gotham and actually, truthfully does put a lot back into the city. And his instagram is a bright ray of sunshine, and honestly there are a lot of people in the city who get surprisingly defensive of their Dumb Carefree Playboy because, okay, sure, every month or so Bruce Wayne falls off a yacht or sleeps with a reporter or whatever. The man clearly never met a healthy coping skill even once in his life.
But as far as news regarding Gotham’s prominent citizens go, Bruce’s ‘scandals’ are so normal that it’s downright refreshing. When a headline has ‘Bruce Wayne’ in the title, you know you’re either going to read some Celebrity Gossip level non-drama, or else something to do with a charity. Maybe he’s been kidnapped again, but that’s only happened a few times. Bruce Wayne news is like the Gotham equivalent to special reports about dogs who rescue their owners from drowning, or raccoons who’ve figured out how to get past the new self-locking garbage can lids.
And there’s something weirdly reassuring about following his twitter. Like, if Bruce Wayne is tweeting about a really neat old tree he just saw, things must at least be sort of alright.
(Meanwhile, Bruce’s social media persona is 100% him flanderizing Clark.)
At first I wanted to kill him. But now I’m glad I’ve spent the time to get to know him. Yeah, of course he looks delicious with his big red cheeks. But we’ve all got an agreement that we’re not going to eat Stu. Right? Right.
Fuck this. Does everyone just not see the blood scrapes on some of their backs and faces???!!! Anyone, seriously, correct me if I’m wrong because this is making me upset af
Domesticated sheep need to be sheared because they don’t shed their coats on their own and it can be bad for their health if it gets too big.
Also, it looks considering how close they cut that it went fairly well. I see like 2 nicks maybe, but with the photo it’s hard to tell. I mean, unfortunately, you’re going to nick a few animals because they don’t understand the order of “stand still” very well.
Sheep can die from heat exhaustion if they aren’t sheared.
Also, their skin secretes lanolin, which quickly soothes and heals any nicks they get during shearing.
So, one night Jane and Darcy are a bit drunk and start trying to figure out which Avenger is what Disney character.
“Okay, Darcy…. But why?”
“Because Tony is clearly Kuzco.”
“… Okay. Yes. Obviously. Is Natasha the Little Mermaid?”
“Why? Because of the hair?”
“Mostly?”
“Come on, Jane. I’m sure we can come up with deeper symbolism than that.”
“Anastasia?”
“First of all, not a Disney movie. Second of all, with the memory loss, obviously Bucky is Anastasia.”
“Ooh, yeah. I like it. As long as Clint isn’t Merida. We can do better than that.”
“No, Clint is the boy from Brave who got a bullseye by accident.”
“Wee Dingwall?”
“You remember his name?”
“I liked that movie!”
“It did have a lot of plaid in it.”
“Shut up.”
“Is Thor Hercules?”
“Actually, I think Thor is more of a John Smith.”
“From Pocahontas?”
“Yes.”
“Why? The hair again?”
“No! Because Thor was raised in a society that he considered to be much more advanced than ours and he was only looking for adventure without regard for the people who happened to be here already and he learned that mortals aren’t savages after all… And also the hair.”
“You’ve given this some thought.”
“I’ve been trying to place Thor ever since we started this conversation.”
“You can paaaaaaint…”
“Darcy no.”
“With all the colooooors…”
“Darcy please.”
“Of…”
“Don’t.”
“The…”
“Shut up.”
“Bifrost.”
“I hate you.”
FRIDAY jumps in. “Captain Rogers is Hercules. They both turned from a skinny outsider into a buff Wonder Boy.”
“Oh yeah! Zero to hero in no time flat!”
“Zero to hero, just like that!”
After, FRIDAY starts playing Disney music at odd times. Tony is haunted by Kuzco’s theme music, Bucky can’t figure out what the hell “dancing bears” have to do with anything, and Steve is frequently told he can go the distance.
Darcy finds it hilarious until FRIDAY starts playing “I Won’t Say I’m in Love” at her.
“Oh hell no. You’ve got all your wires crossed. I am NOT interested in Steve. Like, at ALL.”
FRIDAY doesn’t say anything; she just turns up the volume.
remember when you were like. 12. and you saw high schoolers and you were like. wow thosr are just full ass adults. and now you’re like 25 and you see high schoolers and youre like wow. youre literally a baby
oh? did i hear you say elwë x eöl hatesex? yes? no? hahahaaaaaa that’s too bad here it is anyway
it’s policy around these parts that elves who live long enough eventually have gotten it on with most everyone. there’s only so much you can fill three thousand years with, and whatever social mores ended up developing later, those who woke at Cuivienen or were born pre-FA were probably pretty experimental
