#halp mee

If you are worried about covid19 and not sure whether to follow the president’s advice. I can confirm, with my PhD and 20 years in science, that drinking or injecting a shit tonne of disinfectant or bleach will almost guarantee you won’t die of Covid and will diminish your ability to pass it on.

I also can recommend:

Drop a grand piano on your head.

Lock yourself in an industrial freezer for a week.

Literally set yourself on fire. HEAT!!! LIGHT! Guaranteed to work!

Just make sure you do the aforementioned well enough not to end up in an emergency department. That’s where you could catch wuhan! Go above and beyond to protect your body form Covid!!!