Words: 1,540

MASTERLIST

A/N: I do not claim to, nor do I own Stranger Things; the concept, characters, plot, etc.

Since Kate’s birthday, Max practically lived at the Harrington house.

Max had managed to talk some sense into Kate.

She had opened the curtains in her room, began eating again, not as much as before, as she hadn’t still gained her appetite back fully. (And she only threw up black gunk every week or so.)

Max came over every morning for the first few days, and stayed the whole day, until eventually she just brought a suitcase with her and decided to stay. Kate needed her, and she needed to get away from her house. It had become suffocating, in the aftermath of losing Billy, she just needed to get away.

The girls tried to think of activities to keep them occupied, and not drowning in their thoughts.

They spent a few days deep-cleaning the inside of the house. On hot days, the boys and El would come over and they would all go swimming. They tried to take walks every day, just to get out of the house.

El slept over a few nights, and they became master bakers, making brownies, cakes, and cookies, for no good reason. And they had a few good big group sleepovers, like they used to before everything went to shit.

Kate still kept her night time routine the same: stare at herself in the mirror, search for Billy in the void while she was in the shower, and then cry on the floor after she was finished. Max was there to pick up the pieces and comfort her, and Kate was there for Max.

Sometimes it scared them both. Kate wondered if she could ever return to normal, and before she even asked herself the question she knew the answer was no.

No, she couldn’t.

Not since she had acquired psionic abilities, and “True Sight”. Not since she had failed at saving her friends from an interdimensional monster. Not since her boyfriend had sacrificed his life doing what she should have.

Max tried to tell her that she would live with the guilt forever unless she realized it wasn’t her fault. But she couldn’t. Somehow, she was to blame for everything in her own head, although if you would ask anyone else involved, Kate was the last person they would put the blame on.

Grief was grueling and relentless.

The first time they had all hung out after the July-4th incident, Mrs. Byers had explained to them the stages of grief. “There’s five stages of grief, and if a person is affected enough by a loss, they’ll experience all of them. Denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I’d imagine Kate is only in phase one.”

By now, Kate was slowly moving from the isolation phase and into the anger phase.

“She’s gonna need a good support system when she comes around, so you’d all better be there for her. She’s saved you guys too many times to count, it’s our turn to be there for her.” Mrs. Byers had said.

The one thing that was ever-changing were the nightmares and dreams. Kate would rather call them all nightmares, because good memory or not, it would never be real again, and that was a nightmare to her.

Most nights she would awaken, and end up downstairs on the couch, or sometimes even on her floor. The bed would become hot and suffocating with the memories swimming her head.

By the time school started, Kate’s temper ran red-hot, consistently. Any little thing would set her off.

She was angry when Max finally packed her things up and returned home the night before the first day of school. The part of Kate that held reason, knowing Max couldn’t live with her and Steve forever was hidden away in a corner of her mind, too scared to make an appearance.

She was angry at Steve, when he, Dustin, and Robin were too expressive when watching a horror movie during their weekly movie night.

She was angry at Steve all the time. Her poor brother caught the brunt of her outbursts most often.

Why couldn’t Steve put the lid back on the garbage can?

Why did Steve have to leave his clothes in the dryer when his laundry had been done for hours at that point?

Why did Steve always have to ask if she was okay?

Kate didn’t stay angry for long, as the feeling of despair crept back in, and she found herself at war with herself. Sick with the fact that, perhaps, there was a piece of that thing, that monster that took Billy, inside of her. She hated the fact possibility that she had anything to do with his death.

It ate her up. Consumed her thoughts, her dreams. All she could think about was what she could’ve done, what she should’ve done. Any possible decision or action she could’ve taken differently.

She screamed into her pillow, wishing she could go back. She would trade his life for her’s. He didn’t know a damn thing, and he was still dragged into it.

Better yet, she’d go back even further. She never would’ve kissed him on the Byers’s porch. She should’ve never shown even an inkling of interest in him, whether false or not.

She cried until her tears ran dry, or her throat grew raw, or until exhaustion took her over.

She was exhausted.

Every little task took everything out of her. She barely made it to school on time each day, she was flunking out of most of her classes, she didn’t go out for the soccer team this year, and she handed over the AV club responsibilities to Dustin entirely.

She didn’t care.

She didn’t know what to do.

Going to school drained her, so she’d retreat straight to her room when the day was done, wallowing in her thoughts, and what-ifs. Sitting in the silence, listening to every creak and crack of the house. Or hearing the voices of her brother and their friends, muffled through the floor boards.

She’d could the dots along the decorative strip of her wallpaper, but she’d almost always loose her place and have to start again. She tried to count the seconds in-between each gust of wind that blew, or count each drop of rain that fell from the sky.

She’d picked her fingers raw, constantly sporting bandaids as accessories. And there was a permanent groove etched into her bottom lip, due to her nervously biting it.

And she hated to look in the mirror.

For starters, she hated the way she looked. She looked like a ghost. The skin under her eyes was grey and sunken in, and she could see her cheekbones protruding from her face. Her skin was pale, and her eyes were dull.

Nothingness stared back at her.

Her hands were fully skin and bones now. She stopped wearing her rings, because they would just fall off. None of her clothes fit, they were all too big. And she had the laces on her sneakers tied as tightly as she could, but her shoes still felt like cinderblocks.

She was in the depression phase. And everything was heavy.

Her heart weighed down with grief, her thoughts were so burdensome it gave her headaches.

It was all becoming too much. Everyone, everything, all the time. She was tired. Tired of being sad, of everyone tip-toeing around her, asking her if she’s okay after any minor inconvenience.

There was only one activity that Kate had complete solace in: destroying things.

She had psionic abilities now, and El had explained to her how long it took her to fully control and harness her powers, and she was born with them. She told Kate that she should practice, start small; such as soda cans, or twigs and branches. Then bigger things, the more comfortable she became with herself.

When Kate was in the mood, which was a rarity, she would venture to Hopper’s cabin. It was ruined anyway, so what was the harm in damaging it further?

There was still the gaping hole in the roof. Furniture split into broken pieces on the floor, glass everywhere. And she made it worse.

The first night she went to the cabin she released such an energy burst, she broke the pipes. A spray of freezing water dousing her completely, and soaking the floorboards. She went home immediately after.

By her next visit, the water had run out, save for the occasional dripping. The floor around the pipe was soft now, rotted, so she knew to stay clear of it.

She made quick of her work every visit. She imagined the light, starting in her chest, where it hurt the most, and forcing it out her fingertips.

She was so angry, so enraged, she hated herself. She hated the things that happened to her, and hated the way she couldn’t control anything. Anything, except for her power.

Anything in the cabin that had made it wholly through the attack from the Mind Flayer, was no more. Kate left nothing untouched. Everything was destroyed. Broken into crumbs.

Her destruction was the only thing she could control. She could do whatever she wanted with it. She decided how badly to break things, what should stay and what shouldn’t. She didn’t need to hold back, she didn’t need to worry about anything.

Inside the cabin, it was just her.

Until it wasn’t.

Kate had never had a conscience. Everyone had always talked about hearing the “little voice” in their head. The voice that told them right from wrong, and good from bad.

Kate never had that, it was complete silence. She acted with her heart, with what felt right. She never needed to consult her inner self.

The first time Kate heard from her conscience, she was unperturbed. Curious, yet unperturbed.

From deep within the depths of her mind, crawling out from the darkest corner inside of her, a voice called out.

It felt foreign, uncomfortable, almost. And it wasn’t her voice, like she was lead to believe. It rasped, invading the void of her brain, and encapsulating her heart.

The other thing about her conscience, was that it seemed to have it’s own mind, ironically.

It never spoke about what she was thinking about. Never helped her make decisions, or distract her from her thoughts. It was almost an entity of it’s own, planting new thoughts into her brain, saying things of it’s own accord.

But it came and went, it was never constant. Sometimes she wished it would come, help her decide whether to take a bath or a shower, eat the banana or don’t. Mundane tasks never seemed to be her conscience’s forte. It opted to show itself more prominently at night; when she was searching the void, or right as she was falling asleep.

It lulled her back to conscienceness, like a jolt from a battery. And the thoughts that followed were the same, the nightmares that consumed her entire being.

After awhile she become accustomed to not being alone. Wherever she went, she knew her conscience would be there, even if it didn’t speak, even if it didn’t make it’s presence known.

And she found comfort in the entity in her head.

Because if nothing else, she wasn’t alone.

Words: 4,827

MASTERLIST 

A/N: I do not claim to, nor do I own Stranger Things; the concept, characters, plot, etc.

[ᴏᴄᴛᴏʙᴇʀ , ]

Exactly three months after the battle, Kate found herself at a strange and unusual event.

She was helping the Byers move out of their home.

She knew Joyce had been conducting a plan to get her family out of Hawkins, ever since the previous fall, when Will was possessed by the Mind Flayer, and when Bob had been tragically killed. Bad luck had struck the family one too many times, and Joyce had enough.

Kate had yet to fully wrap her head around what was actually happening. She had recently learned to take life one day at a time, that, and her mind had yet to fully recover from the incident in July.

She was still coming to terms with what happened that night; still coming to terms with her newly-acquired psionic abilities; and still coming to terms with the changing world around her.

She and Nancy were now seniors. The kids had started high school. They were freshman, just three years beneath them. Steve had started a new job. And now, some of her closest friends, her family, was moving away.

The Byers had started the packing-up process the previous day, Jonathan enlisted the help of all of the kids to come over and pack up the house.

Nobody had expected Kate to show up. They didn’t even know that she knew about it at all. Thanks to Max, telling her, she did.

They had all stopped their work, staring in complete shock at the sight of her Charger barreling up the driveway. “Kate?” Jonathan said, still shocked, as she got out of the car.

“What are you doing here?” Will asked, excitedly.

“I couldn’t not say goodbye.” She smiled softly at them.

“Hey, why’d everyone stop working-“ Joyce emerged from the house, her eyes immediately falling onto Kate. “Hi honey.” She smiled, walking down the steps to engulf her into a hug. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Where do you want my help?” Kate asked, and she was put to work.

As the day progressed, more and more of the Byers’ home was put into the truck.

The sun was beginning to set outside, as Jonathan and Nancy carried Joyce’s mattress out the door.

Kate was sat on the floor of the kitchen, organizing things into boxes as Will brought them to her. The two of them were boxing up the last of Will’s things to donate to the GoodWill. In the next room, she could hear Lucas and Max making fun of Dustin, and Dustin fighting back.

Mike came into the kitchen, taping up another box.

Will sat down a pile of books, with his D&D manual on the top. “Whoa, dude, that’s the donation box.” Mike said, reaching over to hand him back the book. Kate ceased her actions, looking up at the boys.

“I know. I’ll just use your’s when I come back.” Will shrugged. “I mean, if we still wanna play.”

“Yeah, but what if you wanna join another party?” Mike asked.

“Not possible.” Will smiled, looking down at Kate, who smiled back. The three of them laughed, and then Will turned, heading back to his room.

Mike also disappeared down the hallway, and Kate stood, closing and taping up the donation box with the books inside. She picked up the marker on the table, writing DONATIONon the side of the box.

A few minutes later, Mike and Will both reappeared, joining the rest of their friends in the living room.

Kate walked down the hallway, finding El in the guest bedroom. “Hey.” Kate said quietly, making El turn away from the window she was staring out. “Any luck with your powers?”

El shook her head. “Any luck with him?” She gestured down the hall, meaning Mike.

“Kind of.” El smiled, holding a teddy bear. “We’re coming home for Christmas.”

“That doesn’t leave much time to miss you.” Kate laughed softly, stepping forward.

“I’m gonna miss you.” El replied, holding the teddy bear out to Kate.

She held her hand out, petting one of it’s ears gently. “I know.”

“Should we go find Mrs. Byers?” El asked, trying to not get worked up. Kate nodded, and followed El out the door, and down the hall.

In her room, Joyce was knelt on the floor, folding one of Hop’s old uniforms. Kate felt a knot in her stomach begin to form. A piece of paper, writing scribbled all over it, sat on the floor beside it.

“Donation box?” El asked about the bear in her hand, breaking Joyce from her trance.

Joyce nodded. “Uh, yeah, sure.” She fiddled with the note on the floor.

“What is that?” El asked.

Joyce looked down at the letter. “It’s the speech Hop wrote for you and Mike.”

“Speech?” El asked.

Kate couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. Hopper had come to her on a few occasions, ranting and raving about his confusion for Mike and Eleven’s relationship. She hadn’t known he wrote a speech about it though.

“Yeah, you know, the heart-to-heart.”

El shook her head.

“He never talked to you, did he?”

She shook her head again.

Joyce laughed. “Can I read?” El asked, stepping further into the room.

Joyce nodded, standing up. She handed the note to El, who laid down on her stomach on the floor. “We’ll leave you alone.” She placed a hand on Kate’s shoulder.

El began to read. “Wait. Kate-.” El said shakily. “I don’t think I can read it.”

“Do you want me to read it to you?” Kate asked nervously.

El nodded, and Joyce gave the girls a reassuring smile, before leaving them alone. Kate reentered the room, sitting down cross-legged next to El. “Here.” She handed her the paper.

Kate took a deep breath, and then began.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you both about. I know this is a difficult conversation, but I care about you both very much. And I know that you care about each other very much. And that’s why it’s important that we set these boundaries moving forward, so we can build an environment where we all feel comfortable, trusted, and open to share our feelings.

Feelings. Feelings, Jesus.

The truth is, for so long I’d forgotten what those even were. I’ve been stuck in one place. A cave, you might say. A deep, dark cave. And then, I left some Eggos out in the woods, and you came into my life. And for the first time in a long time, I started to feel things again. I started to feel happy. But lately, I guess I’ve been feeling distant from you. Like you’re pulling away from me or something. I miss playing board games every night, making triple-decker Eggo extravaganzas at sunrise and watching westerns together before we doze off. But I know you’re getting older. Growing. Changing. And I guess, if I’m really being honest, that’s what scares me.

I don’t want things to change.

So, I think maybe that’s why I came in here, to try to maybe stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were. But I know that’s naive. It’s just not how life works. It’s moving. Always moving, whether you like it or not. And yeah, sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it’s sad. And sometimes it’s surprising. Happy.

So, you know what? Keep on growing up, kid. Don’t let me stop you. Make mistakes, learn from them. And when life hurts you, because it will, remember the hurt. The hurt is good. It means you’re out of that cave.

But please, if you don’t mind. For the sake of your poor, old dad, keep the door open three inches.”

Kate sniffled, she was crying. Setting the letter down in her lap, she turned to look at El, who was also crying.

Throughout the paper, various lines had been crossed out and re-written, and notes were scribbled along the margins. Kate folded up the paper, handing it back to El, placed it into the pocket of her shirt.

El reached across the floor, her hand coming to hold Kate’s comfortingly.

The two girls sat, crying, in silence, until Joyce came back to the door. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” El wiped her eyes quickly. “Time to go?”

Joyce nodded. El got up, Kate following. She took her last walk through the Byers house, as it was their’s. There were so many memories, from her entire life here. Why did it have to end?

Outside, everyone stood, mumbling goodbyes through hugs and tears. Kate almost couldn’t bring herself to step off the porch.

She couldn’t keep saying goodbye.

First was Jonathan, who stood at the back of his car, while Nancy and Joyce spoke quietly to each other. Kate swiped the tears off of her cheeks. She had been uncontrollable recently. “Hey buddy.” She said, grabbing Jonathan’s attention.

He laughed, reaching out to embrace her. “Hey buddy.” He whispered into her shoulder.

Buddy, that was what they had called each other when they were younger. Neither of them had said it in so long, but it felt like it needed to happen, just one more time.

“Thanks for saving my brother’s ass all these years.” Jonathan mumbled into her sweater.

“Thanks for kicking my brother’s.” She replied, the two of them laughing.

Eventually they let go, and she turned to Joyce, and that’s when the real waterworks began.

“Oh, honey.” Kate all but practically fell into her arms, sobbing as quietly as possible into her shoulder. “Thank you for taking care of my boys. I don’t know what we would’ve done without you.”

Kate nodded, not quite being able to find the right words to say, until she did.

“Thank you for being my mom.” She managed to get out, in between cries.

Joyce squeaked, tears forming rapidly in her eyes. She nodded repeatedly, kissing the top of Kate’s head. Joyce had understood the kind of pain she was going through. Kate had lost the person she loved, just as Joyce did, as well as her father-figure, and now, more of her family.

“You’re one of the strongest people I have ever met, honey. You’ll come out on the other side, I promise. I promise, you just have to give it time.” Kate pulled away, nodding as Joyce pet her hair lovingly. “And you have our phone number, just in case. You can call me at any time. I love you, sweetie.”

One more hug, and Kate wiped her tears away again. She barely got one step away from Joyce, when Will, who was as tall as she was now, grabbed her so tight, she thought he’d never let go.

“I would’ve died without you.” He whispered.

“You can say the same to everyone here.” She replied, smiling softly.

“No, I mean I really would’ve died. You risk your life for me- for all of us, all the time. And you don’t even say anything. I could never thank you enough.”

“You don’t have to thank me Will. It’s just my job.”

The two of them laughed.

“You’re the best older sister I could’ve ever asked for… Even though I technically didn’t ask for you.”

“You’re the best little brother I could’ve asked for, and I didn’t need to ask for you.”

Will squeezed her one last time. “We’ll be okay.” He looked at her, posing it more as a question than a statement.

“I think so.” She sniffed, wiping away a tear.

He leaned in for one last hug, and then, squeezing her hand, he let go.

Will was no longer her worry.

Not that she ever considered him a worry, or a burden, or any of the kids for that matter. Worrying for their general well-being and safety had just become second-nature for Kate after all these years. They were growing older, as was she, and they didn’t need constant attention or protection. That was what was scary.

Finally came Eleven, who, in all honesty, was still a worry. Especially now, without Hopper. Kate, of course, had complete faith in Joyce in her ability to care for a child, and in Will, to keep an eye on her and keep her company, and in Jonathan to keep both of their asses out of danger. But she worried nonetheless.

El all but practically ran into Kate’s arms, holding her so tightly, she was immediately thrust back to the night in the mall parking lot.

She swept the memory away quickly, holding onto the girl. “I have too much to thank you for.” El said.

“You don’t have to thank me for anything.” Kate cried. “You’re worth everything I did, everything we did. You’re worth it.”

She could feel El nod against her. “I’m sorry.” She said, after a moment of silence.

Kate thought she felt her heart stop.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save him.” El sobbed, fisting Kate’s sweater into her palms. “I know you wanted to save him, and I couldn’t help you, and I’m sorry.”

Kate’s arms tightened around El’s shoulders. She opened her mouth, and at first nothing came out.

After a few tries, finally, “It wasn’t your fault.” The broken sentence was spoken into the air. “It wasn’t your fault. And it wasn’t his-“

“And it wasn’t your’s either.” El finished quietly.

Kate nodded, letting the sentence sink in.

Around them, the rest of the kids circled, enveloping the girls, and forming a group hug. El continued to hold onto Kate as she removed her arms from El’s shoulders and wrapped them around as many of the kids as she could.

And then they just stood there, enjoying their last few minutes as a family, until they finally had to leave.

They broke apart, watching solemnly as Jonathan and Will got into Jonathan’s car, and Joyce and El got into the U-Haul. They watched as they drove down the driveway, and out of sight.

Kate stood next to Nancy, fiddling with her thumbs, as she finally stalled her tears. She turned to look at Mike, then Dustin, and Max and Lucas. They were all she had left.

After a few minutes of silence, just to make sure the Byers weren’t turning around, just to make sure it wasn’t a prank, they began to leave.

Nancy got in her car, as she was going to drive around, just to be alone.

Mike, Dustin, and Lucas got on their bikes, as did Max, and they began to peddle down the driveway. Until, Max stopped, turned around, and came back to Kate.

“Do you wanna come over?”

“Max, I-“

“I know it’ll be hard. But there’s some of his stuff that we want you to have.”

Breathing in deeply, Kate nodded.

She walked to her car, opening her door, and then the back one, to shove Max’s bike inside.

The ride from Mirkwood to Cherry road was long and quiet. But they finally arrived. It was the first time Kate had been at the house, since the night Billy had kidnappedher.

“My mom and Neil aren’t home, so we can be as loud as we need to be… Come on.”

She got her bike out of the back seat, leaving it haphazardly on the front lawn.

Max left the car, and came around to Kate’s side, opening the door for her. Nervously, she followed Max’s lead, handing her the car keys, and following her up the walkway to the house.

Once inside, Max set Kate’s keys down on the mantle, and led her to Billy’s bedroom door. She opened it.

Kate gasped as the door swung open, she was hit with a wave of Billy’s cologne. Somehow, it still smelled like him.

The bed was still unmade, and the curtain was only half-drawn, letting a little bit of sunlight into the room. Max stepped inside, going over to the bed, where a box sat. From outside the door Kate could see every single thing was still in it’s place.

“You can come in.” Max said.

“I know- it’s just- I don’t know if I can.” Kate placed her hand on the door frame.

“Take your time. Just take your time.” Max peered into the box.

“I can. I can do it.” Kate lifted her foot, and stopped herself. Closing her eyes. “I can do it.”

She opened them, dragging her feet forward, and fully inside the room. She breathed in, and she felt at home. She was right, everything was still in it’s place, just the energy was wrong. It was dull. It was empty.

“Strangely, Neil didn’t touch anything. But he told me to go through his stuff, and take what I wanted. Which wasn’t much, but a few of his rings, and a sweatshirt. And a blanket that he had on his bed when we first moved into their house back home. I picked the rest of this stuff out for you.” Max motioned to the box on his bed.

Once again, Kate found the courage to walk, and she stepped slowly towards the bed, and sat down opposite of Max. Swallowing nervously, she pulled the box towards her, peering inside. There wasn’t much, but everything that was there was meaningful in some way.

A box of polaroids, from their adventures in the bedroom, and out in the world. “My mom found those.”

There were a few of his button-down shirts. “I figured you’d like to wear them.”

Two sweatshirts, both which Kate had stolen before, but they made their way back. “Those too.”

What was left of the bottle of his cologne. “You could spray it on your pillow. It might help you sleep better.”

A knitted blanket. “It was on his bed. Thought you might want it.”

A birthday card. “He had planned to give you that on your birthday, and I would’ve, but we hadn’t opened the door yet… You don’t have to open it here.”

But she did. It was a grey envelope, and the card had a star on the front. Inside it read, “Hope you’ve had a sparkling day.”

And a note, “I couldn’t find a card that had nothing in it, and I didn’t want to just give you a piece of paper, so this is what we have. Hope you had a good birthday, although unfortunately anything that we used to do for fun, could now get us both into serious trouble with the law, good thing you’re tight with the cops huh? I’ve been saving most of my paychecks to get you something nice, hope you don’t hate it. Love ya Kate, Billy.”

A polaroid of the two of them at the pool, from Memorial Day was stuck on the inside of the card. And at the bottom of the box, was a small velour jewelry box.

Kate set the card in her lap, and shakily reached down to get the box. She opened it, being greeted with another small note.

“I’m always gonna be right here, Hargrove”, and inside was a small ring, with B stamped onto it.

“What’s that?” Max asked.

“My birthday gift.” Kate sighed, taking it out of the box, and placing it on her finger, next to the ring that Nancy had gotten her two years before.

“That’s everything I thought you would want. But you can take anything else. You’re welcome to look.”

Kate shook her head, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “This is more than enough Max. More than enough.”

A few moments of silence passed before Max spoke again. “We buried him with a picture of you.” Kate looked up from her lap. “Neil found on in the visor of his car.”

Kate nodded, knowing exactly what Max was talking about.

The night of the day Kate had gotten her license, she offered to drive for a change. Billy was so proud of her, that he took a picture of her behind the wheel (at a stop-sign of course), and he kept it in the visor of his car.

“And we almost buried him with this.” Max turned to the shelf at the foot of his bed. “But I thought we should keep it. I couldn’t decide if I wanted it, but I think that it should be your’s.”

Max dropped Billy’s infamous gold necklace into her lap.

“Max, I can’t take this.”

“You have to.” Max wiped a tear from her cheek quickly. “His mom gave it to him, and I think he would want you to have it, not me.”

Kate held the necklace in her hand, examining it for a bit before she decided to put it on, slipping it over her head. It felt strange to wear it, but it was something she could eventually get used to.

Kate placed the letter back into the box, and moved it onto the floor. She sighed, looking around the room, and then she laid back onto the bed. Feeling tears creep up on her once more. The bed was still comfy, like it had been back in June, and the pillow she had laid her head on, which just so happened to be the one she used, still smelled like her perfume.

She reached over, and grabbed his pillow, holding it tightly to her face. It still smelled like him.

After a minute or so, Max laid down beside her, and they just laid there in silence, trying to forget everything bad.

Max and Kate laid in Billy’s bed, in silence, until Neil and Susan arrived home, long after dark.

Susan greeted the girls with a solemn face, and a hug for each, and silence. Kate decided to see herself out.

With one last hug for Max, she grabbed her box, leaving the two in Billy’s room. Grabbing her keys from the mantlepiece, she was at the door, her hand was on the knob, when a voice startled her.

“Did you find everything okay?” It was Neil.

She turned, watching him as he slowly walked from the kitchen, into the doorway. She nodded, blinking back her tears. “Yes, thank you sir.”

He nodded back, and just as she turned to leave, he spoke again. “Thank you for being with my son. Thank you for being there for him. I truly appreciate it.”

Kate couldn’t quite tell if Neil was being sincere or not, seeing as he didn’t have such a good track record with, honesty, kindness, or his son in general. “It was no trouble at all sir. Billy was a good guy.”

Her mouth felt sour saying his name. She hadn’t said it in forever.

Neil nodded once more. “Drive safely.”

She smiled gently, finally leaving the Hargrove house. She quietly walked to her car, placed the box in the passenger door, rounded the car, got in, and drove home.

It wasn’t until she reached the safety of her driveway, did she begin to cry.

[ᴏᴄᴛᴏʙᴇʀ , ]

Kate had sat in her car and cried until Steve got home from work, and practically dragged her into the house. He didn’t quite understand why she had all of the sudden reverted back to her terrible behavior from the summertime, until he went out to her car the next day and found a box of Billy’s things on the passenger seat, as well as a separate piece of paper, folded neatly on the seat under the box.

Kate was sitting on the couch, enjoying the quiet, and sipping tea from a mug, when Steve brought the box inside. “You want this in your room?”

She turned to see the box on the kitchen island. “Yeah, if you don’t mind.”

Steve nodded. “By the way, this was on your seat, under the box.” He walked into the living room, tossing the piece of paper at her.

“What?” She leaned to the end of the couch, grabbing it.

Steve took the box upstairs, and Kate unfolded the paper, which was actually two pieces of notebook paper, stapled together in the top left corner. THE SPEECH was written at the top.

“Holy shit.” Kate breathed. A ROUGH DRAFT below it, in smaller capital letters.

How, and why, on Earth, did Kate come to have a rough-draft copy of the speech Hopper had written for Eleven?

“Test-out as if you’re lecturing Kate on being stupid with the Hargrove kid”,he had written in the margin, beside the title.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Kate laughed. Hopper had test-run his speech as if he was hypothetically ranting to Kate about her relationship with Billy.

The beginning of the letter started similar to Eleven’s, but it then took a completely different direction. As Hopper began to talk about the importance of enjoying your childhood, and then how he always seemed to be impressed with Kate.

“I know this is a difficult conversation. And I know that you care about each other very much. And that’s why it’s important that we set these boundaries moving forward, so we can build an environment where we are open to sharing our feelings.

Feelings.

Feelings.”

The seconds “feelings” was circled.

“The truth is, for so long I’d forgotten what those even were. I’ve been stuck in one place. A cave. A deep, dark cave. And then, a group of kids caused a whole bunch of shit, that I had to fix. But without you, I probably couldn’t have fixed the shit that needed fixed, because you kept those kids alive.

God knows we’d all be dead without you by now.

I don’t want things to change.

I sometimes think about how I wish that you could be around forever to guide those kids through everything in life. The good, the bad, the happy, the sad, and everything else. But that’s foolish, naive, and wrong. And then I remember, who is there to guide you? Your parents are shit, let’s be real. I don’t know how much help I’ll be, or how much help I’ve been, but I’ll try my damn best. You’re a good kid, you deserve a good life, and I’ll help you when I can.

If you ever find yourself in a cave, like me, remember, you can find a way out. And when you get out, remember the cave, remember how it felt. Remember that life is constantly changing, people come and go, and it’s never easy. Life can hurt. Remember the hurt. The hurt can be good. The hurt can help you to appreciate the happy, the surprise, the peace.

Hold onto whatever you can, you never know when you’re going to need it.”

Inhaling deeply, Kate placed her mug onto the coffee table with shaky hands.

“What was the note?” Steve asked, walking into the living room. “Shit, are you alright?” He noticed his sister was crying.

“Yeah.” Kate nodded, wiping her tears away with her sleeves. “It was from Hopper. I don’t even know how it got on the seat but I’m glad it did.”

He sat down beside her, sighing. “You’re going to be okay. You know that, right?” Steve placed his hand, comfortingly on his sister’s hand.

“Yeah, I think so. It might just take awhile.” She swallowed, trying her best to stop the tears.

“Just checking, we need you in tip-top shape to save our asses again next time. Wouldn’t want anyone but you.”

The Harrington siblings shared a laugh. “Come here.” Steve opened his arms, his sister leaning into him.

Yes, she would be okay. Eventually. Kate had a lot to be thankful for, despite having lost of a lot. 

She had her brother, who was there to pick up the pieces any time she was hurting.

And her best friends, Mike, Dustin, and Lucas, to cheer her up. Her other best friend Nancy, who was her guiding light.

The Byers, who were her safe-haven.

And Max and El, her sisters, her rocks, her partners-in-crime, who she knew she would be dead without.

And her friends on the other side, wherever they were. She hoped that Billy and Hop were close by, keeping an eye on everyone, keeping them safe. But most importantly, she hoped they were at peace.

Kate and Steve sat for awhile in the Sunday silence, before a knock at the door signaled the crew arriving for the newly-initiated Sunday dinner. Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Max, Robin, Nancy, and Erica all came inside, making themselves right at home.

Kate embraced the familiar feeling of the warmth of family; the sound of Dustin, Lucas, and Mike arguing where to get pizza, Nancy rolling her eyes as she and Max began to set the table, and Robin and Erica placing bets on who would win the pizza debate.

The grief came in waves. Good days and bad. But Kate was skeptical that she’d ever climb out of the hole she had dug. With each day that passed it felt like the darkness was creeping closer.

And you know what they say? Evil is always closer than it appears.

the car

words: 1,341

MASTERLIST
tales from the great beyond

A/N: I do not claim to, nor do I own Stranger Things; the concept, characters, plot, etc.

At the beginning of the month, Kate’s parents had bought her a refurbished 1970 Dodge Charger. And Billy was green with envy.

Sure, he loved his car. It was kickass. It made him a spectacle, got him tons of babes, and treated him well in many other ways. It wasn’t the kind of car Kate got, it could’ve been a thirty-year-old station wagon, and he still would’ve been jealous.

He was jealous because she didn’t have to put a cent towards it.

She woke up on the day of her driving exam, aced it, and that weekend she had a Charger sitting in the driveway, ready to be used.

Surely, it couldn’t have been cheap, as it was pushing sixteen years old, and it was spotless. Everything looked perfect, from the chrome on the rims, to the stitching on the upholstery, and the minor tinting on the windows.

Her parents even paid for the insurance, and gave her a gas allowance. And footed the bill for upkeep, which is why Billy jumped at the opportunity to change the oil in the car.

Kate had asked him to do it, one: because he needed the money and her parents would pay good; and two: because it would allow him to practice working on his future occupation.

Billy loved cars. And he couldn’t see himself going to school any further than high school, so he had decided that he was going to get into mechanical work. And maybe someday he could open up his own garage, provide for his family.

Do better than his dad did.

Kate’s plan however, was faulty.

“I’m gonna tell them I’m taking it to a garage, you can charge them whatever you want.” She had said, after explaining her genius plan to him.

That was pretty fool-proof. Kate’s parents didn’t give her the time of day on average, so if she presented them with a bill from a mechanic, they wouldn’t even bat an eye.

“You can just do it at the house.” She had shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “I mean, everyone knows we hang in the same group, so if you show up to change my oil, it won’t be thatmuch of a shock.”

She also promised to make Steve swear he wouldn’t snitch about the whole “Billy disguising himself as the garage” bit.

Billy was not confident that Steve would hold up his end of the deal. However, Kate’s confidence in him was enough to make him say yes to the job.

So here he was, bright and early on a Saturday morning, laying underneath Kate’s car, on the freezing cold sidewalk outside of her house.

And changing the oil was already not going well.

For starters, he couldn’t get the cap off, so Kate spent five minutes searching through her father’s tools in the garage for a wrench.

Then, when Billy finally went to use the wrench to twist the cap off, it practically fell off, right onto his face. And in-turn, so did a steady stream of oil.

Kate rushed inside to grab old towels for him to clean up with, but by that time he was already ready to call it quits and go home. But nevertheless, he continued.

He emptied the rest of the old oil into the drip pan, and just as he was about to slide out from underneath the car and start replacing the oil, he realized Kate had bought the incorrect oil.

So Billy, very verybegrudgingly, let Kate drive his car downtown to pick up the right oil. There was no way he was getting in his car covered in oil remnants, so he chose the lesser of two evils, which was letting her drive.

Billy sat with bated breath, inside the garage, trying to keep himself warm by the minuscule space heater, as he waited for her return.

After almost an hour, Kate finally came back, not only with oil, but an entire load of groceries.

Billy jumped up from the floor, feeling heat rise in his chest at the sight of her with her arms full of bags. “You got a whole grocery order Harrington?” He gawked, pointing at the bags in her arms. “Did you at least get the oil?”

She waved the sticky note he had written the correct oil on in her fingers. “Duh!” She snickered, pushing past him and dropping the oil at his feet.

“Well I just had to ask because it looks like you had other things on your mind.” He shook his head, grabbing the oil from the ground.

“When convenience strikes!” She replied, shrugging. “Let me know if you need more help, I’ll be inside.”

Billy rolled his eyes, venturing back out into the brisk air to finally finish the job he had started.

He went to work, pouring the new oil into the container and waiting for it to settle before testing the depth with the dipstick.

Unfortunately for him, when he pulled the dipstick back out, it was clean as could be. “What the fuck?” He practically screamed, confused and frustrated beyond belief.

Then it dawned on him.

Jaw clenched, he squatted down, noticing the oil pan underneath the car, full to the brim with oil.

He had forgotten to put the cap back on the oil container under the car.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” He didscream this time, aggressively shoving the dipstick back into it’s hole.

Fuming, he stormed into the Harrington house, startling Kate as she was putting groceries away. “What the hell!” She gasped, hand over her heart.

“I forgot to put the cap back on under your car!” He shouted back, throwing it onto the island.

Kate frowned, looking between Billy and the cap. “So-“

“Where did you put my keys?” He snapped, cocking his head at her.

She pointed to the counter beside the sink. “Where are you going?”

Billy crossed the room, grabbing his keys from the counter. “I’m going to buy another pint of oil, I’m gonna come back and change it, and then I’m going home, getting a shower and going to bed the rest of the day!”

Before Kate could even speak, Billy was gone.

The oil covering his body had mostly dried by the time he got into the car, and sped (like literally almost twenty miles over the speed limit.) downtown.

At Bradley’s Big Buy, he purchased two of the correct pints of oil, one extra for good measure.

He drove back to the Harrington house, and changed the oil, WITH the cap on the container this time, and almost didn’t go back inside to say goodbye when he was done.

Kate was sat on the couch in the living room, a mug of tea beside her and a movie playing on the television in front of her. She looked away from the screen, eyebrows raising at him. “You finished?” She asked.

Billy nodded, clenching his jaw. “Never ask me to do that again.” He huffed, walking over to the couch and plopping down beside her. “Is your brother home?”

Kate sighed, fighting with a torn edge of the blanket that was draped over her. “Upstairs.”

Billy wanted to scream even more. He had a hell of a morning, and all he wanted to do was spend some time with his girl to make himself feel better, but he couldn’t even do that.

He rolled his eyes. “Then I’d better go-“

“We can still hang tonight if you want.” Kate shrugged, grabbing onto his wrist.

Billy felt his heart soften a bit. “Course we can. I’ll pick you up, same time as usual, okay?” He whispered, standing up and bending down to be face-to-face with her.

“Same time as usual.” She replied, stretching upwards to press a quick kiss to his lips.

Billy relished in the feeling, as it was the only thing that would keep him from reaching his breaking point the rest of his day. Which was almost guaranteed, heading home to Neil.

the scars

words: 1,151

MASTERLIST
tales from the great beyond

A/N: I do not claim to, nor do I own Stranger Things; the concept, characters, plot, etc.

Also, Kate is very much lying about where she got her scars from, as this is from Billy’s POV, he doesn’t know. 

If you’re wondering the origin of the head scar, refer to S1E5. It isn’t explicitly said, but when she falls, its pretty much on her face.
And the origin of the leg scar isS2E6. Thanks Dart.

It was the middle of February, the heat was cranked to max in the Hargrove house, and Kate and Billy were definitely feeling toasty wrapped up in a cocoon of blankets on Billy’s bed. The lamp was still on in the corner of the room, they had forgotten to turn it off earlier.

“Quit moving around.” Billy grumbled, his face half-buried by the pillow tucked under his cheek.

Kate huffed, kicking her legs a bit to agitate him.

He popped one eye open, finally giving her the attention she wanted. “What’s the deal?” He asked, rolling onto his back. “It’s like three in the morning-“

“And I can’t sleep.” She whispered, dramatically falling back against the pillows.

“Why is this my problem?” Billy asked, internally screaming as she sat herself upright against the wall.

“The moment you invited me over, it became a you problem.” She raised her eyebrows, tugging on the blanket.

He sighed, rolling over onto his side again and propping himself up on an elbow. “What do you want me to do about it? Should I call the sandman-“

“Let’s talk.” Kate replied, eyes flitting over the various posters hung on his wall.

“Talk? About what?”

She shrugged, still looking around at the posters.

Billy reached out with his free hand, fingers brushing over the scar on her thigh. He still remembered the night she got it.

Kate’s eyes trailed down to where his fingers touched her skin. “Remember that night?” She asked, keeping her voice low.

Billy nodded.

In hindsight, he wasn’t proud of his actions that night. It was one of the major reasons they had to keep their relationship so hush-hush; He had burned bridges with everyone that was close to Kate, all within the span of a few minutes. Steve, Mike, Lucas, and Max.

Sorry as he was, he didn’t want to forget that night. Or the way Kate looked when he had first arrived at the Byers home.

The moon was shining just right on her, illuminating her features, making her look almost angel-like. Then he idiotic brother had to stick his nose where it didn’t belong and everything went to shit from there.

He also would never forget that first kiss.

Be as it might, a form of bribery to get him to leave, it was as real a “first kiss” in their relationship, as any other first kiss Billy had ever had. Even if then, it didn’t really mean anything.

“That was a hot kiss.” He smiled coyly, knowing this would make Kate fluster. And it did, her cheeks turned pink as she remembered the night too.

“Whatever-“ She rolled her eyes, playing it off. She grabbed his hand from her leg, holding it up and examining it. “Where’d you get those?”

She was talking about the scattered white specks that decorated his hand. “Somebody dared me to break into a car.”

Kate furrowed her eyebrows, looking at him suspiciously.

Specifically, he was at a party, and the DD of his friend group had locked his keys in his car accidentally.

They tried everything they could before reaching the conclusion of breaking the window; Picking the handle lock, using a wire hanger to get into the window, etc.

It went a little something like:

“The only other way I see this happening is if we break the window open.”

“You have insurance right?”

Then Billy said “I’ll just break it with my fist.”

And all his friends looked at him like he had two heads. But all it took was one “Bet you won’t.” For him to punch his fist straight through the glass.

They immediately went to the emergency room.

“You’re serious?” She asked, finally deciding that she believed him.

“Cross my heart.” He nodded, pulling his hand from between her’s and crossing his heart.

His eyes studied her face, coming to rest on a small scar, just at the edge of her hairline on her forehead. “What’s that one from?”

Kate lifted her hand to touch it, trying to remember where it came from. “Freshman year, went to a softball game, got cracked in the head.”

Billy couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of Kate getting obliterated by a softball. “It’s actually not funny because it gave me a concussion and I had to be wheeled out in an ambulance in front of the entire softball game.”

Kate wasn’t being entirely serious, as she spoke her mouth upturned in a smile. Like she couldn’t help but laugh at herself.

“Okay, what about that one?” She asked, leaning forward and tapping his chin, where a small scar was wedged by his lower lip.

“You sure you don’t already know the answer to that one?” He asked, eyes shifting to look out the window.

Kate sighed, fidgeting a bit. “Your dad.” She answered for herself.

“Good old Neil.” Billy nodded. “One of many.”

Kate sighed again, sinking herself back down on the bed and wrapping the blankets around herself. “You ever break any bones?” She asked, laying on her side to face him.

Billy shook his head. “I sprained my wrist though once. Beat some kid up in like fifth grade, and my hand took a beating too.”

“That’s not nice!” Kate gasped, swatting at his arm.

Billy shrugged, rolling over to lay on his back. “You ever break anything? I wouldn’t be surprised, you’re like the most clumsy person I’ve ever met-“

“Oh seriously?” She scoffed, fluffing her pillow. “I’ve broken both of my ankles, three fingers, and almost my back.”

Billy whipped his head around, staring at her in disbelief. “How do you almost break your back?”

“Rope swing and shallow water.” She nodded, clicking her tongue. “I landed on my ass though, not my feet, so I kinda broke my own fall.”

Billy was torn between laughing his ass off at the thought of that scenario playing out in real life, and being genuinely concerned for her wellbeing.

“Maybe you’re right, I am kinda clumsy.” She mumbled, cuddling into his side. “Got any more fun stories to tell me?”

Billy blinked, a small smile appearing on his face. He began to recount the time he flipped off his surfboard and gave himself a black eye from hitting the fin.

And the time he tripped over Max’s Barbie Dreamhouse and not only broke it, but also the handle off his bedroom door. (From running away from his father.)

And the time that he thought it was a good idea to touch freshly-poured tar and it stuck to his hand for a week, and left a nasty scar to boot.

By the time he had finished the third story, he glanced down. Kate was fast asleep, nestled into his chest.

Billy felt warmth rise in him. But whether it was the scalding heat of the room, or the girl asleep on top of him, he would never really know.

the journal of katherine harrington

aka “how to get over the tragic death of your boyfriend”

letter 001
letter 002
letter 003
letter 004

letter 001

Billy,

Everything fucking sucks.

I just verbalized that too.

You weren’t in Hawkins long enough to uncover the truth about what happens behind closed doors.

To the vast majority, Hawkins was normal. Plain as can be.

For you it was normal. Nothing spectacular.

No golden sandy beaches, or salted air. You couldn’t do any of the things you enjoyed here. So I know you know it sucks too.

But there’s so much more than a quiet little town here. Hawkins is dangerous. There are monster around every corner, and they appear when you least expect it.

And I don’t mean metaphorical monsters. I mean literal monsters. Ones made of flesh and blood, just like us. They hunt us down and take us out, every year there’s more. Nobody knows what to do, nobody can come to an answer. And those that do know what’s going on, are sworn to secrecy. So if anyone were to ever see this, I’ll be dead.

Almost three years ago, Will went missing. He was riding his bike home from the Wheeler’s, and vanished. A few days later, a body was recovered from the quarry, and everyone thought it was Will’s. But it wasn’t.

It was a decoy, set up by the Hawkins lab.

We mourned him, had a funeral, he was dead.

On the second night that Will was missing, we found a girl in the woods. It was pouring down rain, and she was in the middle of the woods, alone, and only wearing a t-shirt.

It was Eleven.

She helped us find Will, find the truth. The truth that he wasn’t actually dead.

He was somewhere in an alternate universe. Trapped and alone, and being stalked by a creature.

The creature traveled between lands, hunting us. Nancy, Jonathan, Steve, they fought the monster and scared it away.

Chief Hopper and Mrs. Byers rescued Will from the Upside Down (which is what we called the other place.)

Eleven wasn’t as lucky as the rest of us. She was young, she hadn’t been able to harness her powers to their full ability. Any overextension of herself left her drained, sometimes she could hardly walk.

But she persevered, she disintegrated the Demogorgon with no effort, but not before it dragged her back to the Upside Down with her.

We were devastated when she was gone, but she didn’t stay away for too long.

The next fall, when you moved here, things got bad again.

Will began having attacks of anxiety, he would lash out, and when he wasn’t in one of his episodes he was quiet. He didn’t speak to anyone.

He was being possessed by the Mind Flayer, another creature from the Upside Down. It had latched itself onto him when he was in the Upside Down, and knew the perfect time to make an appearance.

It unleashed an army of Demo-dogs (not fully-grown spawn of the Demogorgon). They killed Bob, Mrs. Byers’s boyfriend, one attacked me. That’s what the scar on my thigh is from. Not from a tree branch.

(And I forgot to mention that Dustin fostered a Demo-dog before it was full-grown. But then it ate his cat and escaped.)

That’s why the Hawkins lab is condemned. It was a blood-bath.

But El came back. She used her powers to close the gate between worlds, and finally we were safe again.

Everything happened right under your nose and you had no idea.

I should’ve told you. I should’ve kept you safe.

There was so much more I could’ve done.

Then came the summer. The happiest time in my life. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end.

We were supposed to be tackling senior year together. You should be playing your senior basketball season. You should be graduating this spring. You should be here.

As far as we know, you were possessed by the same thing Will was. The Mind Flayer.

But it didn’t use you, like it used Will. It destroyed you. It wore you down until you were nothing but a pile of blood and bones. No life, no joy, no future.

It made you do irreversible things. You killed people. You killed so many people.

And just when you had finally escaped, when you’d clawed your way to the surface, it broke you.

You are a hero, solidifying your fate. The moment you stood up to the creature, there was no other way out, except death.

And it really isn’t fair.

It’s not fair to have to go through this life without you. It’s not fair for you to be alone. You should be with the people you love, you should be here.

I didn’t attend your funeral.

I can hardly get out of bed.

I don’t eat, I don’t do much of anything.

I just think.

Thinking about what could’ve been. What should’ve been. All the things we said we were going to do, tossed into the fire and turned to ashes.

My parents are making me see a therapist.

I guess I’ve worried my brother enough that he felt it necessary to call in reinforcements. And after a grueling intervention, I agreed, although I don’t think it’s going to help.

So I’m writing this letter to you, in attempts to “give myself some closure.” To try and get over you. To try to make it go away.

It doesn’t seem to be working.

Love,

Kate