#hecatebloggoamazons

The waiter: What would you like, girls?
Agnieszka: Strawberry muffin.
Carmina: Banana bun!
Hecta: Putin dead on a plate, please

In for a penny, in for a pound

Agnieszka dreamily: If you had to choose between the prettiest boy in our school and all the money I have, what would you take?

Hecta: And how much have you got?

Agnieszka looks into her purse: Um… only few pennies.

Hecta: I’d take the money.

Haunted

“Ghosts aren’t real,” Agnieszka says as she lights a candle in my attic. Carmina peeks under the covered mess of broken furniture and blast-sneezes, sending a cloud of dust dancing in the air.
“Of course, they are real,” I huff and place my bum on one of the old chairs. “What do you think you’ll do after you die?”
“I’ll go straight to heaven,” Agnieszka murmurs, keeping an eye on the shimmering shadows cast by the candlelight.
“I’d better go to hell,” Carmina beams. “If demons offer infinite pleasures, their homeland must be a treasure island!”
“Nobody goes anywhere,” I state. “Your heavens and hells are right here, in this world. There is no another. We are haunt…”
All of a sudden, the chair crushes under me. I flop on the floor, and we yell like freaking psychos.

Staff!

After weeks of daily kung-fu practice, Carmina cried, “Look how masterly I swing my staff!” and hit her head and lamp.

Why!

Agnieszka: Why doesn’t he ever ask me out!
Me: Why, you hate him, you’ll send him to hell anyway.
Agnieszka: So? He could have at least tried.

Updated my Facebook status to ASEXUAL AND PROUD and I’m suddenly a hotline operator for the most stupid questions to answer. Every passer now feels it a must to ask what that is and how to cook it. I’m but a parrot crying, ‘Pirate’s code: first freedom and the captain’ like, a million times already but they keep gasping in horror and, ‘What about love?’
WHAT ABOUT LOVE! I didn’t say I was A-love-al. Why does love is suddenly a straight line to sex, eh? Big question!
Hanged out with Amazons today and met Lisa walking out her doll — oops! — dog. She said asexuals can’t love properly, don’t do it like… strong enough and blah blah lah lah.
‘You repress the nature itself,’ she asserted while chewing on her gluten, lactose and taste free vitamin bar. ‘It’s totally normal to snog and shag. You just don’t let it into your life!’

I said I didn’t let many things into my life (like my natural pull to football her silly dog up and above once she dares yapping at me again) just as she didn’t let dairy into her life.
‘It’s different!’ Lisa snorted. ‘Dairy make me sick.’
‘Why do you think it’s different?’ Carmina asked. ‘Milk is natural too.’
And that was the end for Lisa cos some street macho-dog sniffed up with her Pinkie and was just about to give her a totally normal and natural snog and shag. Lisa went berserk and kicked him off swagging with her clatch like mighty Boudica crushing Romans into dust. We laughed so freaking loud I thought we’d choke! XD
Nature my ass. I prefer loving people not fucking their bodies and then pretend it was something spiritual. Love for me is looking one direction, not at each other, doing something together not something WITH each other. I wish people tore their noses off their butts to say, fu** romantic strolls and sucking between sheets,

LET’S DO SOMETHING GREAT!

Why don’t we?