Freyja, as a god of fertility like her brother, engaged in many sexual encounters, and Loki, who made it his business to know embarrassing stories of his fellow gods, was well aware of Freyja’s promiscuity. In fact, in the Lokasenna, when an extremely drunk Loki is insulting each of the gods, he accuses Freyja of having slept with every male god, including her brother Freyr (although this incestual practice seems to be closer to the norm among the Vanir). Freyja was also closely involved with Odin, who took on multiple mistresses in addition to his wife Frigg.
One day, Freyja noticed a beautiful necklace (some versions of the myth say a belt), called Brisingamen, being forged by a group of four dvergues, the Brisings. She was instantly enamoured, and felt compelled to own the accessory.
She offered the Brisings all manner of gold and riches, but the dvergues refused. Their price for the necklace was Freyja. Freyja would spend one night with each of the four dvergues, and then the necklace would be hers. Eager to own the necklace, Freyja agreed to the terms, and set about fulfilling her obligation.
For one reason or another though, Loki had followed Freyja, and was now privy to Freyja’s shameful actions in exchange for a piece of jewellery. Loki returned to the hall of his sworn blood brother Odin, and informed him of what he had seen. Odin was angered, and he asked that Loki steal the Brisingamen from Freyja. Freyja’s room was sealed while she slept, so Loki turned himself into a fly to enter through unseen gaps.
Freyja was wearing the necklace while sleeping, so Loki, now turned into a flea, bit Freyja on the cheek, provoking her to turn over in her sleep. Once Freyja turned over, the necklace’s clasp was exposed, and Loki was able to unfasten and remove it from Freyja’s neck. Loki collected the necklace and left the room as silently as he had entered.
When Freyja awoke to find her necklace missing, she confronted Odin, and Odin in turn confronted Freyja about her interactions with the dvergues to gain Brisingamen. To regain the Brisingamen, Odin ordered Freyja to incite between two kings such strife that they begin an unceasing war, later known as the Battle of the Hjadnings.
An alternative conclusion to Loki’s theft of Brisingamen did not include Odin at all. It is also possible that it refers to a different occasion entirely. In this version, instead of bringing the necklace to Odin, Loki disguised himself as a seal and attempted to hide. However, Heimdallr, who possessed powers of greater sight and hearing than the gods, had seen where Loki had gone. Heimdallr confronted Loki, and a battle ensued. The battle, strangely enough, featured both Loki and Heimdallr in the form of seals. Heimdallr has not exhibited the ability to transform himself in any instance other than this, so the accuracy of this version is difficult to determine. All in all though, Loki ultimately lost, and was forced to surrender the Brisingamen, whereupon it was returned to Freyja.
Thor awoke one morning to find that the hammer Mjolnir, given to him by Loki, had been stolen. Seeking aid, Thor appealed first to Loki, who was both his dearest friend and the god most capable of solving problems. Loki suspected the thief had been a Jotunn, so he volunteered to fly through Jotunheimr, to seek out Thor’s hammer. Thor supported the idea, so he accompanied Loki to Freya to ask to borrow her falcon cloak. With Freya’s approval, Loki donned the cloak and set off to Jotunheimr to find Thor’s hammer.
As he flew over Jotunheimr, Loki noticed Trymr, a Jotunn prince whom he suspected. Trymr asked Loki how the gods and alfs were faring, and why Loki was in Jotunheimr. Loki informed Trymr that things were not well for the gods, and proceeded to ask Trymr if he had taken Thor’s hammer. The Jotunn admitted to the theft, but he had buried Thor’s hammer many miles beneath the ground, so no one could retrieve it but Trymr himself. Trymr would return Thor’s hammer if the goddess Freya came to his kingdom to be his bride.
Loki returned to Asgard with the news, and on hearing it, Freya became so furious that her necklace Brisingamen broke. She did not want to marry Trymr, and the other gods would not want to lose Freya either. A meeting was held among the gods to decide how to proceed. They needed Thor’s hammer for the power it granted them over Asgard’s enemies, but they did not want to give up Freya. Then Heimdallr suggested that since the hammer was Thor’s property, Thor should be the one to wed Trymr to retrieve it. All gods but Thor agreed with the idea.
The gods dressed Thor in a wedding dress, strapping two round stones to his chest to resemble breasts. They then covered his face with a wedding veil. Loki volunteered to accompany Thor as his maid, in both solidarity and in case his skills were needed to resolve more trouble. In addition, Thor’s deep voice was certain to give him away, so he needed someone to speak for him. The details of Loki’s disguise were not mentioned in detail, but I think that since Loki is a shape-shifter capable of changing into anything, Loki had no need for a crude disguise like Thor’s. Instead of trying to look like a woman, I imagine he simply transformed himself into a woman.
Thor and Loki, dressed for the wedding, journeyed to Jotunheimr, proclaiming themselves to be Freya and her maid. Trymr was very excited that his bride had indeed come, and the celebration began immediately. But Thor’s appetite was anything but ladylike, and he consumed an entire ox himself. Trymr wondered at why Freya would have such an appetite, and Loki quickly answered that Freya had been so excited for the wedding that she had not eaten for the past eight days. Trymr was satisfied with the explanation, and lifted Thor’s veil to see his eyes. Thor’s eyes were bloodshot and fierce, and Trymr, startled, wondered why Freya had such eyes. Loki explained that Freya had been so excited for the wedding that she had not slept for the past eight days either.
As the ceremony progressed, the hammer was finally brought out to be presented to Freya (who was really Thor) as a bridal gift. It was at this time that Trymr’s sister approached Thor and demanded he give her a present to win her favour. Thor smiled as the hammer was set in his lap, having his weapon returned, and he proceeded to slay Trymr and his sister, and probably also the other wedding guests. With the hammer returned and the Jotunn thief dealt a harsh justice, Thor and Loki returned to Asgard.
[ID: A gray banner with white text reading “Those Horrid, Horrid Things” with white line drawings of a wolf head, snake head, and skull to the left of the text. End ID.]
Get ready for some visitors. Chapter 19 of ‘Those Horrid, Horrid Things’ is up!
When Odin prophesizes Loki’s three monstrous children will bring an end to the Aesir, the trickster god decides the only way to keep them safe is to travel through time and space to where no one will find them.
But this new world is different, with its PTO’s and HOA’s and all other manner of strange sigils. Loki’s children have to make some big changes to remain undetected, and the Father of Monsters themself might be in a little over their head.
Because the gods are still out there searching, and they’ll stop at nothing to lock those horrid, horrid things away.
There was a crack like lightning, like something ripping open, like something burning and sizzling.
“Ymir’s droopy, swinging tits!” Loki shouted.
Skadi came running. She had on her hockey jersey and a backpack she was trying to stuff one more sword into.
“What is going on?” she asked.
“Get the kids out through the front,” Loki said. “The Aesir are here.”
Her ice-blue eyes scanned the back door.
“For a battle?” she asked.
Loki looked briefly to the window. All they could make out were line after line of figures.
“They’re here for a show,” they said.
They grabbed their sandwich, the butter knife, and jar of peanut butter, and headed for the porch. The Aesir wanted a show. They’d give them a show.
I may have mentioned previously how excited and nervous I was to write what is essentially the Lokasenna redux. Loki gets to finally speak their mind to Odin and the Aesir, and some big truths are revealed in this chapter.
Also, I get to write my crazed, genderfluid dad/mom holding a butter knife to a cat while in their bathrobe and underwear and announcing they’ve captured a goddess, so that’s fun.
