#those horrid horrid things
Diversity win! Your bisexual son respects your gender identity while still thinking you’re a shitty parent
The girl bit her lip and crossed her arms. An evil little smile appeared on her face.
“I get your serving of bread, then,” she said.
Family traits
Audr was holding his hands over the dandelion. He lowered them closer to the plant, drawing a breath as the flower shrunk into a green bulb. He pulled them back, and yellow petals blossomed again before closing in on themselves and then exploding in a puff of white fuzz. He fell back and let out a yelp as seeds drifted in the air.
“I worry about him the most,” Loki whispered in Fenrir’s ear. “Boys who know magic don’t fare well in this age.”
“Does he, you know, know magic?”
Are you publishing your story/stories anywhere on the internet? Ao3, Wattpad, your website, anywhere?
THIS is where you drop your link!
I want to read you all, but Tumblr is not the best place to keep track of updates and new chapters.
So reblog and shamelessly link away!
Hi, hello. May I offer my side project that has as of recent become my main project? A Norse mythology retelling featuring a genderfluid MC and their monster children:
Made myself sad.
Loki and Fenrir have a conversation (TWs for discussions of parental death and killing, implications of abuse/domestic partner violence):
Fenrir shook his head, and did something he never thought he’d dare do, and tried to start a conversation with his father.
“What was he like, your dad?” he asked.
Loki shrugged and continued walking. Fenrir couldn’t tell if they were squinting against the wind or wincing at the question.
“Sort of looks like me, except older and uglier,” they said. “Has a temper. I’m always afraid I got that from him.”
They moved closer to the river, stopping to watch where it rushed and boiled over a cluster of rocks.
“If I see him again, I plan on killing him,” they said.
“You what?” Fenrir asked, stumbling over the slick collection of stones on the riverbank.
His dad looked over at him as if it wasn’t common practice to plan to murder your father.
“But why?” he went on.
Loki continued walking along the bank, before stepping up to a worn path on a hillside.
“Took away someone I cared about,” they said, with no expression in their face or voice.
Neither of them said anything until the river was just a gray worm writhing below them.
“What about your mom?” Fenrir eventually asked.
His dad just looked up at the sky with a little smile he had never seen before.
“Had an embrace that could shelter you in a storm. Gave kisses that were cool against your forehead,” they said. “Friends called her Nál, needle, because she was skinny, or so I’m told. To me, she was so tall her head could have been among the treetops.”
Fenrir nodded. All he had ever known about his grandmother was that her name was Laufey, and his dad took her name as a surname instead of their father’s.
“What happened to her?” he asked.
Loki stopped and stared at him, their face still smooth and expressionless.
“She died, Fenrir.”
I’m amusing myself because I’m writing a very sad THHT scene but in the middle of it is essentially this:
Loki: Wait, wait, before you torture me, let me tell you a secret!
Skadi: Okay …
Loki: *bites her*
Skadi: Wtf
Not to mention the chapter prior of Jory just getting fucking yeeted into the ocean
They sat up, resting on bruised kneecaps. Their hands were still tied behind their back. Blood had matted in their hair from a cut on their forehead.
“Before he died,” they began, and Skadi had to swallow back the ache in her throat. “He told me about your mother. How she wanted to share something with you when you turned sixteen.”
They rose unsteadily to their feet. Skadi could sense Freyja just out of her field of vision, cradling a dagger. She couldn’t move.
“What was it?” she asked.
Loki stepped closer to her. She let them. Their eyes flicked away before meeting hers, a harsh, acid green under purple bruises.
Pain split through the soft flesh of her shoulder. Loki had darted forward and bit her hard enough to break skin under the fabric. She stepped back, pulling her arm away. They took off for the mouth of the cave.
Motherfucker
I’m amusing myself because I’m writing a very sad THHT scene but in the middle of it is essentially this:
Loki: Wait, wait, before you torture me, let me tell you a secret!
Skadi: Okay …
Loki: *bites her*
Skadi: Wtf
Not to mention the chapter prior of Jory just getting fucking yeeted into the ocean
I’m amusing myself because I’m writing a very sad THHT scene but in the middle of it is essentially this:
Loki: Wait, wait, before you torture me, let me tell you a secret!
Skadi: Okay …
Loki: *bites her*
Skadi: Wtf
Jormungandr’s entire climatic challenge is just gonna be “try not to hyperfixate too much, buddy, your family is dying”
[ID: A gray banner with white text reading “Those Horrid, Horrid Things” with white line drawings of a wolf head, snake head, and skull to the left of the text. End ID.]
Get ready for some visitors. Chapter 19 of ‘Those Horrid, Horrid Things’ is up!
When Odin prophesizes Loki’s three monstrous children will bring an end to the Aesir, the trickster god decides the only way to keep them safe is to travel through time and space to where no one will find them.
But this new world is different, with its PTO’s and HOA’s and all other manner of strange sigils. Loki’s children have to make some big changes to remain undetected, and the Father of Monsters themself might be in a little over their head.
Because the gods are still out there searching, and they’ll stop at nothing to lock those horrid, horrid things away.
Chapter 19: The House Guests
There was a crack like lightning, like something ripping open, like something burning and sizzling.
“Ymir’s droopy, swinging tits!” Loki shouted.
Skadi came running. She had on her hockey jersey and a backpack she was trying to stuff one more sword into.
“What is going on?” she asked.
“Get the kids out through the front,” Loki said. “The Aesir are here.”
Her ice-blue eyes scanned the back door.
“For a battle?” she asked.
Loki looked briefly to the window. All they could make out were line after line of figures.
“They’re here for a show,” they said.
They grabbed their sandwich, the butter knife, and jar of peanut butter, and headed for the porch. The Aesir wanted a show. They’d give them a show.
I may have mentioned previously how excited and nervous I was to write what is essentially the Lokasenna redux. Loki gets to finally speak their mind to Odin and the Aesir, and some big truths are revealed in this chapter.
Also, I get to write my crazed, genderfluid dad/mom holding a butter knife to a cat while in their bathrobe and underwear and announcing they’ve captured a goddess, so that’s fun.
WIP:Those Horrid,Horrid Things
(Chapter directory and taglist below the cut):
Chapter 5: The Tupperware Party
Chapter 7: The Parent-Teacher Conference
Chapter 11: The Family Reunion
Chapter 12: The Endless Paperwork
Taglist (ask to be +/-): @authortango,@drippingmoon,@joaniejustwokeup,@thegreatobsesso,@thelaughingstag,@writing-is-a-martial-art
Realizing that Chapter 16 of THHT is essentially “my two girlfriends, and yes they accidentally ate weed”
Chapter 19 THHT memes
For the cool kids, only
Anyway,Chapter 19 is up, official post to come.
Adding the taglist to this bc I think I’m funny
Those Horrid, Horrid Things taglist (ask to be +/-): @authortango,@drippingmoon,@joaniejustwokeup,@thegreatobsesso,@thelaughingstag,@writing-is-a-martial-art
[ID: A series of four images. The first is a meme in which a cat is surrounded by multiple knives’ the cat is labeled “Loki”; several knives are labeled either “Chekhov’s knife,” “Chekhov’s Freyja,” “Chekhov’s hammer,” “Chekhov’s spear,” “Chekhov’s Skadi,” “Chekhov’s snake egg,” or “Chekhov’s net.” The second has a white background and black text that says “Steal their look” with images of a Wolfmother band tee, a pb&j sandwich, a robe, a peanut butter jar and knife, strawberry-printed underwear, and a Norse-era hammer. The third is divided into four sections, the first saying “it’s ok to ask for help” with an image of Angrboda, the second saying “you’re not a burden” with an image of Sigyn, the third saying “murder is okay” with an image of Loki, the fourth saying “your feelings matter” with an image of Skadi. The fourth image is the “Ben Affleck Smoking” meme showing an exhausted Ben Affleck with a cigarette with top text reading “Loki going out to greet the Aesir in their underwear, Angrboda’s t-shirt, & a robe, holding a pb&j” and bottom text reading “Bottom Text.” End ID.]
Good fucking god, did I accidentally design Nidhogg to look exactly like Toothless from HTTYD?
Angrboda stood from where she’d been tending to Hel. She stared at Loki, at the expanse of warriors and gods, and burst into a sprint.
“Wait,” Sigyn shouted.
Sigyn grabbed her arm and pulled her back. Angrboda stared in shock and anger.
Then Sigyn did the impossible, and slid her hand up Angrboda’s back to dip the more than two hundred pounds of chainmail, fat, and muscle making up the Mother of Monsters. She cradled her neck and kissed her, and Fenrir once again felt like he should not be here.
Sigyn pulled away from a gaping Angrboda.
“Let’s go help our spouse,” she said, then dug something from a blue bag hooked over her shoulder. “And could youat least wear a helmet?”
The helmet’s crest, a snarling wolf’s head, leered at Angrboda. She smiled.
“Suppose I could tolerate it,” she said.
She slid it on, and the two raised their weapons and charged forward.
What if we shared a spouse, and what if we became girlfriends, and what if kissed passionately before running off into a battle against the gods together?
Anyway, I know lately I’ve been doing THHT updates Wednesdays and Saturdays, especially with the last few very fast-paced chapters, but because of personal stuff involving a trip to fix someone’s car and the fact Chapter 26 is a massive, climatic beast, it’s likely not going up until Saturday at the earliest.
Hehehehe
[TWs for a food mention, a sex allusion and I guess a description of some light cannibalism]
“We’ll find them,” she said. “We’ll storm Asgard’s gate if we have to.”
Loki nodded, tapping the flat of their knife against their palm.
“Actually, the last place I remember Odin bringing me to was just outside the Aesir’s wall,” they said. “We’ll start there. Fenrir and Jormungandr, you hang back here.”
The bark of a laugh from Fenrir felt almost involuntary. Loki glared up at him.
“You two may be several stories tall now, but I’m still your father,” they said. “You’re staying put.”
“I don’t want our family separated again,” Fenrir said.
Loki’s eyes narrowed as they wagged their knife at him.
“Really, pup?” they asked. “Because last time I saw you, you seemed very keen on running off from your family.”
Fenrir released a low growl from his throat.
“That’s only because you -!”
“Do you two have to do this now?”
Angrboda glared at them as she twirled one of her axes in her hands. Sigyn came up beside her and wrapped an arm around her weapon-strapped waist.
“Don’t worry, bet you both of them just have low blood sugar,” she said, then gave Loki and Fenrir a horribly pitying smile. “Would it make it better if we took you two out for barbecue after this?”
Fenrir huffed and fell back onto his haunches. Loki muttered something under their breath as they resheathed their knife.
“What was that?” Sigyn asked.
“I said I’ll just take your awful tongue and fry it with some rosemary if I’m hungry,” they snapped.
Sigyn smirked as she leaned into Angrboda.
“Please, Loki,” she said. “You love my tongue too much to do that.”
A matchstick of a person sauntered out of the trees, a flare of red-orange their only identifier at this distance. Angrboda broke into a run.
The tiny figure sprinted toward her, then halted as she continued running at full speed. She grabbed the hood of their cloak with her teeth, pitching her head back to sling them twenty feet in the air.
“Bodie!” they squeaked.
They tumbled through the air as Angrboda changed back into a woman, landing with a muffled thud of fabric in her outstretched arms.
The concept of Angrboda as a wolf taking her tiny spouse and throwing them in the air only to catch them as a woman has been in my head for a while, and yes it is every bit batshit wild writing it out as it was visualizing it.
She lowered them gently to their feet, then turned to where another figure marched from the copse of birches.
“Loki Laufeyjarson,” Sigyn shouted. “You get back here and put this helmet on! I didn’t go to all that trouble rescuing you for you to get an arrow in your skull.”
“I told you, it messes up my hair,” Loki shouted back. “And I’m a bit busy at the moment welcoming back our wife.”
Also loving that Sigyn’s reintroduction is her and Loki having an ongoing argument because that’s their love language.
She lifted Loki’s chin and stared as if she were seeing them for the first time.
“Loki — your face!”
A red cross of mottled flesh spanned from Loki’s forehead down the bridge of their nose. It stretched across their cheeks like a heavy rouge, shifting and occasionally bleeding as they spoke.
They glared at her as if she had criticized their choice of outfit.
“Fuck my face, Bodie!” they said. “Now, let me get a look at my children.”
Yes Loki is concerned about their hair and yes they also no longer care about their face’s appearance no it’s not a plot hole they are of two minds you see I
#yes but also#have you ever gotten hair stuck in a metal rivet?#plus I imagine a metal helmet would be a sort of sensory hell lol
@joaniejustwokeup ya know what? I didn’t even think of that
