On chill with you

Jhenè

Warnings; Language.

Taglist:@castiel-enthusiast@emilyprentisswife@detective-giggles@teamsladsandgents@the-baby-bookworm@stardust-fray@ineedafinghug@billiedeannovak@stardust-galaxies@averyhotchner@glimmerglittergirl​@beccabarba​@itsjustmyfantasyroom​@permanentlydizzy​@whimsicallymad​@prurientpuddlejumper​@letsdisneythings​@neely1177​@angieed​@mrsrafaelbarba​@justfangirl-stuff​@ele-esposito​@dreila03​@lv7867​@rwbyfan16​@bisexual-dreamer02​@skittle479​@fanficfaeriesrafaelbarbalibrary​@adventuringwithally​

*

When you arrived at the playground the next morning you managed to swipe Amanda’s coffee out of her hand before she even realized you were next to her.

“Hey!” She protested, “get your own.” As she grabbed it back she took in your appearance, the sunglasses darker than your usual ones. “Are you hungover?”

“Kind of?” You groaned, tugging your hair up into a top knot before your sunglasses slid up to your head.

“Is that a hickey?!”

“What? No!” Your hand shot to your neck, wincing slightly at how tender the skin still was, “Cat bashed me with a toy the other day.”

“Oh, yeah, okay.” Amanda snorted, her finger coming out to poke around the bruise, “she give ya the beard burn too?”

“What?”

“This is beard burn, and that’s a hickey!” To enunciate her point she jabbed her finger into the purpling mark.

“Ow! ‘Manda!”

“Can’t believe you were out on a hot date while I was stuck with three kids.”

“I wasn’t out on a hot date, it’s not like I planned this.” You snagged her coffee for another swig, “it was more a…drink…that turned into a kiss..followed by one hell of a hot make out session.”

“And some sex.” She smirked, grabbing the cup back from you.

“Steamy, steamy hotsex. Holy shit Amanda…I- first time I’ve ever squirted. I mean..wow..”

“Jesus! You better be calling him back.” You snorted a laugh in response, Olivia’s voice cutting through just as you were about to reply.

“Hey, sorry I’m late.” She passed a tray of coffee over to the two of you. “What’d I miss?”

“Y/N’s steamy, steamy sex she had last night while I was babysitting.” You smacked Amanda’s arm as Liv laughed.

“Really?” She paused for a sip of coffee, “when’re we gonna meet him?”

“Yeah…what’s his name?” You bailed under the pressure of both women’s attention fully turned to you, slightly hiding behind your coffee cup.

“Rafael…”

“Barba!?” Amanda practically shouted. Liv inhaled a sip of coffee down the wrong tube, choking on the beverage as she shot you a glance of surprise.

“How did that happen?” The brunette asked.

“Like I told Amanda! He came to drop something off, we had a drink and…one thing lead to another..”

“He really made you-“

“Yup.” You cut the blonde off, it was one thing kissing and telling under the umbrella of anonymity but knowing who the other person was…

“Good job Barba.” She muttered, taking a sip of coffee while she did a quick head count of the girls on the playground.

“Hope you were safe, don’t wanna end up with two whoopsie’s like this one.” Olivia teased.

“Hey!”

“Believe me, the moment Cat came out, that IUD went straight back in.” You laughed.

“How drunk were you guys?” Amanda asked.

“The first time?” That got a rouse out of them, “like, three quarters of a bottle of scotch. Then we ordered food and polished off a second bottle.”

“So you guys talked about it then?” Olivia asked, a genuine interest on her face that you were unscrambling all the wires.

“Uhm…not exactly. I mean..we were kinda caught up in the after glow, ya know? Just…enjoyed each other’s company. It was nice to finally have that kind of intimacy again.”

“K, but I’m more interested in just how many more times were involved.”

“Let’s just say…he was certainly making up for lost time.” You smirked, “and if you think my neck’s bad you should see my inner thigh.” Amanda lost it at that while Olivia playfully rolled her eyes, “I’m certainly not complaining about the beard.”

“You must have at least talked about it this morning?” Olivia noticed the immediate awkwardness in your eyes at her statement.

“I-uh-may have snuck out before he woke up?”

“You just left him in your apartment?!” Amanda was fully invested in this now.

“He’s got keys! He can lock up himself and we’ll do that whole awkward interaction tomorrow…which will be fucking horrible because Lucia is going to catch on realquick…shit…”

“Hope you’re planning on wearing a scarf.” Liv teased and you shot her a glare that she laughed at. “You should really talk it over though. I know it’s rocky territory all things considered, but you’ve said it yourself, he’s doing a wonderful job as a Dad, which honestly…I never would have expected from Barba. You guys have been getting along so well this year. You can’t fight me on that, I’ve seen you looking at each other when the other’s not looking the exact same way you were before I even knew you were dating.”

“And you certainly got along last night.” Amanda cut in, causing you to smack her arm again, “besides, it’s not like this was some drunken one night stand where you passed out right after and did the walk of shame never to see them again. You guys were hanging out, having a good time, and you continued to after, and had more sex..it was a….” she eyed you with a sly grin. You rolled your eyes knowing exactly what she was prompting you for.

“It was a four night stand…”

“Iwish I got that many orgasms a night.”

“If we’re counting it like that it was seven night stand.”

“Jesus.” Olivia muttered, distracting herself by double checking on the girls while Amanda howled.

“Barba’s got stamina…damn.” Amanda took a swig of coffee, “but Liv’s right. I mean, you guys were sickeningly in love, it made me want to puke like..half of the time. Despite everything that’s happened, it can’t be hard to fall back in love with him.”

“Considering I never fell out of love with him…no…it can’t.” Your statement was softer, and you weren’t surprised when both of the women turned toward you, though they were surprised at the very subtle glimmer of tears in your eyes suddenly. “What?” A watery chuckle left your lips, “I was alone for so long, and I mean completely, family wise, not just the ‘ooo I’m lonely cause I’m single’ kinda thing. Rafael…he was my everything, he was the love of my life. I never thought I’d get married and there I was picking out venues and hours d’oeuvres alongside his Mother. He made me feel like I actually deserved all of that, like I deserved to be truly happy.” Amanda’s hand softly grasped yours, her thumb reassuringly rubbing against it, “he could break my heart a million times over and there would still be a part of me that loved him. If it wasn’t for Cata…I don’t know if I would’ve made it through that breakup.”

“So talk to him..” Liv softly countered, “he loved you more than anything in the world, and I know he still cares about you, and it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if he was still completely in love with you.”

“Then why did he walk away five years ago?”

The three of you all jumped at the intrusion of a new voice from behind the bench you were sitting on.

“Because he was a coward. And an idiot who was terrified, and thought the only resolution was running away.” He only had eyes for you, it was as if the other two didn’t exist in that moment, the apologies written on his face as he looked down at you.

“Raf..? How’d you even know where we were?” He grinned, holding up his phone.

“Find my Iphone…you know you really should change your passwords once in a while.” You smacked at his arm with a smile, “you got a minute?” You shot a glance toward the other two women, who both nodded lightly in encouragement.

“Course.” Standing from the bench you followed him a short of enough distance that you had some privacy,  “how much of that did you hear?”

“Enough.” He smiled, “you always leave your conquests alone in your apartment?” Laughing lightly you rolled your eyes, the back of your hand smacking his chest.

“No..I…was scared. I didn’t know how you’d react. Like you just said, sometimes running makes the most sense in the heat of the moment.”

“Carino…” his hand stroked down your arm softly, “I know I’ve apologized a million times over about everything, and that they’re empty words by now, but I do need you to know that I was being incredibly fucking stupid. I was terrified that I’d be sent to jail, that you would hate me for what I did, that even if I got off, you would want nothing to do with me anymore. I was utterly ashamed at the entire thing, and for some idiotic reason I felt like I couldn’t show my face here anymore…even to the people I love the most.”

“Love?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, “as in…present tense?”

“Oh Hermosa…” hand stroked your cheek ever so softly, “every. Single. Day. I would look at this and remind myself how much I love you, and pray that you still loved me. And since being back, being with you and Cata, it’s meant so much more.” Your brow scrunched as he reached inside his coat,

“What’re you-“

A little laminated card was between his finger and thumb, the colour catching your attention first, your breath hitching in your throat as your hand shot to your mouth. The other one gently grasped it as your eyes moved up to his illuminating emerald ones. You flipped the card over and your suspicions were confirmed. It was the purple post it…the one you’d made as an impromptu Christmas tree ornament on your first Christmas together, the words ‘I love you always’ scrawled across it in your hand writing.

“You kept it?” You could feel the tears brimming in your eyes, just daring to escape.

“I was a moron for walking out on you, I needed a part of you to hold onto, to selfishly help me through everything. That little note…I keep it on me always. I look at it every day and the little part of me that prays you’ll be able to forgive me eventually reminds me that each time…you said ‘always’ and I said ‘forever’..and that there was some slim chance you’d still feel like that, even after I fucked up so horribly.”

“Rafael…” His thumb stroked softly at your cheek and suddenly the entire world vanished, your voice soft and wavery, but he knew you meant it when you spoke, “I’ll never stop loving you.” It was when you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into you for a deep kiss that the wolf whistles echoed through the park. The hand you had around his bicep shifted so you were discreetly flipping off Amanda and Olivia, the laughter of the situation evident on your lips, causing Rafael to smile against you, kissing your head softly as you moved away, your blushing face turning toward your friends before it turned back to him.

“I love you forever y/n.” You giggled softly, rocking up on your toes to peck his lips.

“And I love you always.”

Truthfully, there were still a lot of logistics to work through, but that was to be expected in a situation like this. The following day Lucia certainly did give you shit for sleeping together before actually figuring things out, but she was at least happy that you were working things out romantically, that you would actually be a family again. Catalina wasn’t really aware to what was going on at first, she was young enough it didn’t really affect her, she was just happy to know a few months down the road that Papi was moving in and she got to spend all her time with both of you. The squad was all in support of it, even Calhoun gave you a soft ‘congratulations’ when she passed you in the courthouse.

Everything fell into place easier than you’d expected it, there was no way you could be happier than you were now, and there was no place Rafael would rather be than at home with his family. One that he never thought he’d ever have, but one that he adored more than anything in the world. The day he moved into the apartment you had a small shadow box style frame ready and waiting alongside a stack of purple post its. Once everything was settled and you’d finished off the pizza Cata was oh so excited about for dinner you had her write her own little I love you message on a fresh post it.

The three of them found their way into the frame, ‘I love you always’ beside the ‘I love you forever’  the coloured in heart sitting underneath between them, bringing your little family together, there was absolutely nothing that could tear you apart now.

**

Well…that’s all folks. Thanks for not only inspiring me to write a hell of a series off a request for a one shot, but for sticking with me through a story that spans TEN years, wow. I also 10000% have an alternate ending coming, so it’s *technically* not over yet….

Warnings: Language, Smut
Taglist;@castiel-enthusiast@emilyprentisswife@detective-giggles@teamsladsandgents@the-baby-bookworm@stardust-fray@ineedafinghug@billiedeannovak@stardust-galaxies@averyhotchner@glimmerglittergirl@beccabarba@itsjustmyfantasyroom@permanentlydizzy@whimsicallymad@prurientpuddlejumper@letsdisneythings@neely1177@angieed@mrsrafaelbarba@justfangirl-stuff@ele-esposito@dreila03@lv7867@rwbyfan16@bisexual-dreamer02@skittle479@fanficfaeriesrafaelbarbalibrary@adventuringwithally

*

The next near year nearly flew by, you attributed it to actually being able to have some time to yourself, having a steady partner to help raise Catalina helped one hell of a lot. She started spending a bit more time at Rafael’s apartment, basically whenever she asked to spend a couple of days with him and he was free. Rafael spent a lot of time with the two of you when you had her for the weekends, which you were more than okay with, he’d missed out on a lot, and you appreciated the extra set of eyes. You were ever insistent that his weekends remain just with him though, partially to let him get his time in, and partially to give yourself an extended break.

It was a chilly night in February that Rafael showed up to your door, apologizing immediately as he knew you didn’t like unannounced visits, but he just wanted to drop a couple of things off. You were confused at first but he handed you a bag from your favourite take out place (with extra truffle fries) and a bottle of your favourite wine with a simple ‘I know how hard today can be for you’ before giving your arm a squeeze and turning from the apartment. It was the anniversary of your Mother’s death, he knew you’d be grieving and wanted to do what he could to attempt to not having you sink completely down. The next month you returned the favour, bringing over one of his favourite meals, homemade from his Abuelita’s recipe. You were finally back to the point of being friends, of being comfortable around each other. Sure there were moments of awkwardness, usually Carisi sticking his foot in his mouth after making a comment, or bringing up a memory (‘Wasn’t today supposed to be your wedding date? I bought a real nice suit for that.’) that made you both cringe a bit and shoot him daggers. But things were smooth, they were easy, it was calming to be around each other.

It was mid October, the city still feeling the remnants of warmth from the summer, the days cool as the leaves turned, but still warm enough to enjoy being outside. You had The Good Place reruns on the t.v, thankful for anything that wasn’t Disney+ at this point, tidying up a few things when you heard a knock on the door.

“Oh..hey Raf.” You greeted as you pulled the door open. “Cat’s at Amanda’s, squad sleepover.”

“Rollins with three kids under seven?” He teased, a laugh on his face.

“Relax, Sonny’s there too.”

“So those two finally did get together?” You laughed, half rolling your eyes, more so at the two mentioned and not Rafael. Their will they wont they spanned most of your career in Manhattan

“Yeah.” Your eyes moved down to the binder in his hand, “you need something?”

“I found Cata’s homework stashed in her room from when I had her the other night.”

“That little turd!” Taking the book from him you flipped it open, not surprised to find it not finished, “she told me she didn’t have any.”

“She do this often?”

“Only when she knows I won’t let her see Billie ‘til it’s done. Those two are thick as thieves.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean they were born a few months apart, they’re basically attached at the hip.” Sighing you tossed the binder onto the counter, “hey, I just opened a bottle of Macallan, you wanna come in?”

“Yeah..sure.” Rafael shot you a soft smile as you backed up, letting him into the apartment. You latched the door, tossing Cata’s homework down on the island, you’d deal with that issue at a later date. You poured Rafael a glass of scotch before the two of you moved into the living room, settling on the couch. “This is the one with the dead people who don’t know they’re in hell, right?” You laughed, taking a sip of your drink.

“I guess that about sums it up.”

The two of you settled into the evening, happy to have an evening off from work and parenting for once. You laughed over the show, relaying comments and quips every so often before it became more background noise as the scotch flowed openly. Memories were brought up, good ones, fun ones, you may have spent a little more than average time poking fun at Carisi (a lot to do with the moustache he had when he first arrived). A couple of hours easily passed before you stood from the couch, giving Rafael‘s knee a squeeze.

“I’ve gotta pee, I’ll be right back. Top us up?” He nodded as you hurried your way down the hallway. While you were washing your hands you heard him say something, you shouted a ‘what?’ pulling the door to the bathroom open, quickly moving back towards the kitchen.

“I sai-“ Rafael was abruptly cut off as he tried to round the corner to the hall the same instant you tried to round the corner into the kitchen, effectively crashing into you. You felt your breath catch in your throat at his proximity to you, the woody-ness of his cologne engulfing your senses as your hands used his shoulders to steady yourself. One of his hands caught your waist in an attempt to keep you from toppling over, his next words spoken were soft, nearly a whisper, “..you’re uh..out of ice.” His eyes darted from yours to your lips lightning fast, noticing the way one of your hands tightened around his shirt as his body made the motion to move away.

“Wait…” it was barely a breath, he almost missed it over the hammering in his chest, but he couldn’t mistake the warmth in your eyes for anything else. The hand on your waist tightened lightly, you closed the distance between you with a step, the hand resting on his shoulder wrapping around the back of his neck as you inched closer.

The moment your lips met could only be described as tossing a match into a fire that had been waiting to be lit for hours, soaking in accelerant. It was brief, just a few moments of lips dancing a very missed routine against each other before you pulled away, your forehead still resting on his. Your chest was heaving as if you’d just surfaced from diving to the bottom of the deep end of a pool, your mind was suddenly going a mile a minute, there was no ignoring the desire burning within you at this point.

“Sorry…” you murmured, starting to turn away when Rafael gently grabbed your wrist, effectively stopping you from moving.

“Don’t be.” His hand moved to your chin, tilting your face up so you would actually look him in the eye. There was a hint of sadness, of worry hidden behind them, but a warmth, an incredible softness you hadn’t seen since weeks before he left.

“Rafa…” His other hand smoothed the hair out of your face, cupping your cheek softly, you couldn’t resist leaning into it.

“Tell me to stop and I can walk out that door, pretend it never happened.”

“I don’t want that…”

Rafael’s lips met yours again, continuing the same rhythm as before, a sigh escaping his lips, his body relaxing against yours as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You felt like home, like he was finally back where he belonged. Gently, he backed you up against the wall, you tugged him tightly to you, groaning as his tongue swept into your mouth massaging against yours with expertise. The kiss was like something out of a daydream, part of you felt like you must be dreaming, that something that felt this wonderful couldn’t possibly be real.

The hand on your hip trailed up your side, tickling, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its path, it rounded your shoulder, softly tangling into your hair, somehow deepening the kiss even more. The length of the make out session made you feel like a teenager again, when it’s all that would happen, when a kiss meant absolutely everything. Though…things felt very similar tonight.

Rafael broke free of your lips, peppering kisses across your jawline, down to your neck. You let out a breathy moan at the feel of his teeth scraping against your skin, your hands digging into the roots of his hair, you were suddenly more than grateful for the new beard he was sporting, wondering how much it would tickle against other areas of your body. His teeth hit your pleasure point, sinking in heavier than before, his tongue darting out to sooth the burn as he started to suck against the spot, your hips jutted up, rolling against his, gasping as you could feel his growing bulge. Reluctantly he pulled away, his face inches from yours.

“Pretty sure I didn’t tell you to stop.” You murmured.

“I forgot how sassy you could get.” He smirked, nipping at your lip, his hands nudged at the back of your thighs and you let out a squeal as he picked you up.

Giggling, you wrapped your legs around his waist, lips meeting his again as he carried you down the hallway. Your hands began to tug at the hem of his shirt, sliding underneath it as they slowly pushed it up and off his body, taking advantage of the brief escape from the kiss you pulled your own shirt over your head. A gasp breaking into the room as Rafael buried his face into your chest, nuzzling against your tits, kissing and nipping practically every inch he could get to. One of the hands wrapped around your back swiftly undid your bra and you let it drop to the floor, adding to the trail of clothing. Your hand shot to the back of his head as his lips encased a nipple, sucking the supple flesh into his mouth, tongue swirling around it, flicking its peak. Your back arched, bringing him closer to you, whining at the vibrating growl he let out when you tugged at his hair.

Dropping your legs from his waist, you tugged him back to your lips, kissing him deeply while your hands moved to his belt, undoing his jeans, a hand sneaking in to palm his thickness. A grunted ‘fuck’ muttered against your skin as he rutted into your touch, his hands leaving your sides, pulling your pants and underwear down in one swift movement. Rafael’s mouth returned to the soft spot of your neck, determined to leave you feeling its presence in the morning, a hand grasped your leg, wrapping it back around his hip to give him better access. The other one trailed up your inner thigh, oh so softly cupping your heat. Your hips jolted toward him with a whine that morphed into a moan as his fingers began to swipe through your folds. Your breathing began to increase, the little whines begging him for more.

He ignored your clit completely, choosing to play with the juices leaking out of your pussy, coating his fingers with them completely before one sunk in. Your arms suddenly clenched around him, your head burying into his shoulder in a cry as he slowly started to pump it in and out. Rafael could feel how tight you were, how well your walls squeezed against him already. His hand moved softly, warming you up as his lips tenderly kissed up your jaw, his finger curling inside you. Your eyes met briefly, a world of unspoken words between them, a silent nod from you encouraging him to delve a second finger into you while his lips met yours again. Your hand grabbed at his bicep, nails digging into his skin when his fingers increased the pressure, hurrying their pace,

“Please…” you whimpered out. Rafael’s thumb came up, circling your clit in time with the way your hips rolled against his hand. His lips met yours again with such tenderness you thought you were about to melt…though the feeling of his hand against your pussy made you think you were about to explode. Pulling away you let out a yelp, teeth biting against the skin of his shoulder, he felt your walls fluttering around his hand. The burning through your body suddenly rushed to your pussy, pulsating in a heavy rhythm over and over, trembling when his thumb flicked against your clit. It built heavier than you’d expected, a sob escaping your lips as you came, your hips rutting against his, juices nearly exploding out of you, dampening the front of his briefs.

“That was new…” he smirked. You giggled softly, ducking your head to lay a breathless kiss against his chest.

“Certainly was.”

Rafael’s hand cupped your cheek, kissing you lightly, backing you to the bed that you dropped back onto, shifting so you were laying comfortably among the pillows. He tugged off his briefs before crawling over you, lips leaving a trail of kisses up your body until he met your mouth. You whined at the feeling of his cock against your folds, the heaviness rubbing against your clit. One of his hands reached down, lining himself up to your heat, a sudden gasp left your lips as your hand grasped his wrist causing him to pause, realizing his misfortune.

“Shit…I don-“

“It’s fine..I-it’s just been..a while…”

“Oh Carino…I won’t hurt you.” You couldn’t help but smile at the soft adoration in his eyes as he gazed down at you. Your hand moved from his arm, cupping his face as your lips met his.

Rafael slowly plunged his cock into you, inch by inch, he pulled back when he saw your brow furrow, slowly beginning to thrust bit by bit until he was fully seated in you. Both of you let out more than satisfied groans. Your walls stretched to feel every inch and ridge of him, aching in the most sinfully beautiful way, fluttering ever so lightly. Rafael let out a soft moan at the feeling, staying still until you were ready, but knowing the warmth of your wet walls was doing everything to drain all of his blood and thoughts down south.

Your hips rolled against him, a whimper leaving your lips as your clit rubbed against him, you needed more, and he was more than willing to give it to you. Your legs wrapped around his hips, pulling him deeper into you as he began to thrust against you, gently at first, making sure you were okay, but that moved on, his cock hitting spots inside you making you squeal. He circled his hips while buried inside of you, causing you to yelp, crushing his head into your shoulder as you panted beneath him. Rafael’s mouth hit your neck again, sucking against the sensitive skin, teeth grazing over it as his thrusts became more powerful and heated.

Fuck did you ever feel good, he could hear the wetness of your pussy echoing through the room, the sound of skin on skin, panting breaths and whimpering moans and grunts. His cock twitched at the way your walls pulsed around it, one of his hands shot up, pinning yours beside your head, fingers interlocking while the other one snuck down between your bodies. A sob left your lips when he pinched your clit, your entire body felt like it was about to explode, you clenched your eyes shut, your free hand digging into the back of his neck.

“Oh Rafa!” Your thighs trembled, wrapping so tightly you tugged him to still against you while you shook against his body. A strangled cry leaving your lips as your orgasm burst through your veins, leaving you seeing stars.

“Fuck..” Rafael’s voice was hoarse, his cock pulsing inside you, feeling about to burst, it only took a few more pumps against your squeezing cunt before he let out a loud moan, spilling inside you.

He stilled, his head dropping into your shoulder once again, both of you too breathless to even imagine trying to speak. You began to come to first, your fingers dancing dainty patterns along his sides and back, a hand curling into his hair to massage his scalp. You admired the gentle hum when that hand moved to his beard, scratching at it softly. Rafael kissed your neck, moving down to your shoulder as he ever so slowly rolled off you, already missing the contact.

Your feet kicked up the blanket around the two of you, curling against his chest. There were about a million thoughts and questions running through both of your brains, but right now…the endorphins were taking lead. Rafael kissed the top of your head softly, holding his lips there for a moment, his hands softly rubbing at your back. You nuzzled into his chest deeper, wrapping your arms around him tighter.

“That was…”

“Fucking incredible.” He murmured, causing you to giggle. A few more moments of silence and breath catching went by before you spoke again, your voice quiet, mumbled against his skin.

“Hard to believe it was a decade ago we disclosed…”

“Okay, now you’re just trying to make me feel old.” He shot back, making you laugh.

“Not at all..” your lips met his skin again, “just…feels like yesterday and a million years ago at the same time.”

“I know…” his heart beat failed to slow as he gained the courage for his next words, “and I’m sorry I was absent for half of it.”

“I know…” you kissed his cheek softly. The sudden blaring text tone of your phone echoed from the living room a few times, “I swear to GOD if that’s Rollins.” Shoving the blankets off, you grabbed the robe draped over the top of your closet, wrapping the satin around you as you moved through the apartment. Rafael heard you let out a frustrated groan. “Fucking Duolingo!” You appeared back in the doorway to the bedroom.

“You okay?” He asked, propping himself up against the headboard.

“Yeah.” You flashed him a smile, “but there are two fresh glasses of scotch out there…and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t starving…can we order food?” You pouted and Rafael chuckled, the resemblance to your daughter even more evident when the pout was on your lips. He moved out of the bed, kissing you quickly before pulling on his briefs.

“Dynasty still have your favourite on special on Fridays?”

“Yup!” You smirked, “and this is your treat.” A giggle escaped your lips as he rolled his eyes, following you back to the main part of the apartment. The two of you had already downed most of a bottle of scotch already, and even with the food, your heavily distracted minds figured it would be the best idea to indulge in a second bottle as you marathoned some t.v before heading back to the bedroom.

Her Everything Ch 16

Warnings:Language.
Taglist:@emilyprentisswife@whimsicallymad​@prurientpuddlejumper​@letsdisneythings​@neely1177​@angieed​@stardust-fray​@mrsrafaelbarba​@justfangirl-stuff​@ele-esposito​@the-baby-bookworm​@dreila03​@castiel-enthusiast​@detective-giggles​@teamsladsandgents​@ineedafinghug​@billiedeannovak​@stardust-galaxies​@lv7867​@rwbyfan16​@permanentlydizzy​@bisexual-dreamer02​@skittle479​@fanficfaeriesrafaelbarbalibrary​@adventuringwithally​@averyhotchner​@glimmerglittergirl​@itsjustmyfantasyroom​@beccabarba

**

The next day Rafael welcomed you into his apartment warmly, you’d texted saying you were a little behind schedule, not that he minded the bit of extra time. Cat was on the couch happily munching on some cheese and crackers her attention completely taken over by Elena of Avalor.

“So?” You quirked a brow, accepting the cup of coffee from him, “How was it?”

“I..have learnt so much about mythical countries that don’t exist and I have no idea how I’m supposed to keep them all straight.” You let out a hearty laugh, missing the way Rafael’s eyes warmed at the sight of you truly happy for once.

“You’d be surprised how easy it is to figure out, I’m sure it won’t take you long Mr Ivy League.” You teased, “She was good though?”

“Yeah.” He hummed over a sip of coffee, “We played about fifty rounds of Candyland, there was lots of colouring, some dancing along to Elena, and someone seems to have inherited your obsession with tater tots…” He grinned at you over the rim of his coffee and you rolled your eyes.

“Potato counts as a vegetable…and if you air fry those cauliflower or broccoli cheddar ones they’re pretty good. Don’t judge me.”

“I could never.” He offered you a small smile,  “I commend you. It’s been less than a full day and I’m exhausted…four years..doing this full time plus a full time job? I honestly don’t think I could do it alone.”

“Well that’s the thing…I’m thankfully not alone. The squad helps out whenever they can, your Mom’s always more than willing to spend time with her, and…now she has her Dad.” You squeezed his arm softly, “think you could handle her for a full weekend?” He let out a huff of a laugh,

“Might need a few extra pots of coffee, but at least she goes to bed early.”

“I’m sure you could manage it.” You finished off your coffee, “I’ll chat with her, see how she feels about it. If she’s down and you’re free maybe you could take her next weekend? Friday after school to Sunday dinner? I added you to the approved pick up list, I can send a bag of essentials with her to school so she’s got everything she needs.”

“I’d like that.” Rafael warmly smiled, a relief spreading through him knowing that you were comfortable with this, that you were ready to actually do this. “You sure you’re okay with me having her two weekends in a row?

“I’m still on desk duty…remember? I’m literally just doing everyone’s paperwork, I could use the extra free time. Then we can start with alternating weekends? It’s not like Holidays will be a problem, we’re at Lucia’s for all of them anyways.”

“What about compensa—“ He was slightly surprised when you cut him off.

“No. I’m not about to talk legalities with you right now. You’re a lawyer, you have an unfair advantage if mine isn’t present.”

“Carisi?” You laughed, the smile still on your face as you turned back to him.

“You really think I’d let a junior A.D.A who chugs Pepto like water with a custody issue against a senior attorney?” He laughed, thankful for the playfulness still evident in your voice, “I didn’t know if you were coming back, and if you did how you would…behave…over the matter. Once your name was on that birth certificate I called Calhoun.”

“Rita? Really?”

“She’s the best of the best.”

“You’re not wrong.” He smirked. You sighed, glancing over towards the living room where Cata was still heavily entranced with the t.v.

“I don’t want you to think that I lawyered up to try and weasel you out of anything, I just wanted to do what was best for Catalina, it’s what she deserves.”

“I know..” internally you jumped at the sudden feeling of his hand on yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze, “but like you said, this is a conversation for another day.”

“Thanks.” You prayed your cheeks were as hot looking as they felt as you smiled, “I’ll swing by the firm and we can hash it out.”

“Sounds great.” His hand quickly dropped from yours as he turned towards the living room, his voice louder as he called out to your daughter, “Cata, time to go.” She turned with a pout on her lips,

“But ‘Lena..”

“No..” Rafael softly warned, “I’m sure Mami has Disney+, you can finish your episode at home.” You smiled at the way they interacted, and honestly, you were eager to be witness to more of it. Rafael really was stepping up into his role as a father. Still slightly pouting Cat jumped down from the couch, pattering towards the door where her bag was packed and ready to go. You helped her into her coat and shoes (that she insisted on velcro-ing herself).

“Say goodbye to Daddy.” Rafael crouched down so he could give her a proper hug, wrapping his arms tightly around her, kissing her cheek gently. There were small murmurings of goodbye and I love you’s between them before she retreated to you, grasping your hand. “I’ll call you later.” You gave him a soft smile, “Bye Raf.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

*

Not surprinsgly, Catalina was more than enthusiastic about her sleepover at her Dad’s, rattling on the entire way home about how much fun she had. You delved into the idea of spending an entire weekend with him and she was very excited at the concept. Once Rafael had spent his first full weekend with her and managed to make it through unscathed, you took the time to sit down and figure out all the details. Rita really was there more as a technicality, you and Rafael agreed on pretty much everything, there were just certain legalities that even he wasn’t sure of, not having a lot of experience in family law.

The next few months were spent peacefully co-parenting, much to the joy of everyone involved. The three of you always got together with Lucia on Sunday nights for dinner like before, making the Sunday night switch off even easier. There were some not so frequent during the week trade offs when you got swamped with cases, an overnight shift or undercover op that Rafael would end up picking Cata up from school for a day or two during the week. You were thankful she didn’t do too much bouncing around, sticking to a pretty regular schedule. You were also eternally grateful at how well Rafael was doing with her, you couldn’t help but smile at how much he’d grown, not just since returning to New York, but even longer. Back when you’d been together you’d both agreed that you didn’t want kids, you never thought the sassy brash A.D.A you’d been engaged to could ever be as incredible of a father that he turned out to be. You each had your solo days with Catalina, but also made sure to start including more whole family events, you’d meet for dinner out in the city, or have a little movie night at one of your apartments, in an attempt to make things as normal as possible for your daughter.

A few days before Christmas Rafael found himself at the 16th precinct working through a plea with Sonny and a client. Indulging with some small talk with Carisi on his way out, his hand had just hit the elevator button when he heard a shout coming from the entrance to the bullpen.

“Raf!” You jogged through the door, slowing as you approached them. You may have been completely unaware of the nickname used but he didn’t miss it (and honestly…neither did Sonny).

“Yeah?”

“Kat’s out with the flu and—“

“Is she okay?!” He instantly jumped into Dad mode and your face scrunched in confusion before you realized.

“Oh, fuck. Yeah, Catalina’s fine…Tamin’s out with the flu. I’m stuck covering her Christmas Eve shift, can we swap things around? You take Cata for Christmas Eve and I’ll just meet you at your place in the morning for presents like we planned before going to your Mami’s once mass is done? You can still have her Christmas night.”

“Of course! And you can keep her on Christmas, she deserves a Christmas night with her Mom.” You chuckled lightly in response,

“She’s had four years of that. It’s what we agreed upon, and…you can finally suffer through three watches in a row of the Muppets Christmas Carol.” Both Rafael and Sonny laughed at that,

“Okay.” Rafael smiled across at you, “I’m basically off from now ‘til New Years, let me know if I can help.”

“Thanks.” You gave the two of them a quick wave before turning and heading back to your desk as they stepped into the elevator.

“Seems like things are goin’ pretty good then?” Carisi asked, a smirk on his face as he turned toward the older man.

“Despite..everything..we’re making it work.”

“Well, for what it’s worth..and I never thought I’d say this to ya…from what I hear you’re a pretty incredible Dad.”

“Thanks Carisi…” There was only a slight tinge of sarcastic sass laced through Barba’s response as the two men stepped out of the elevator, heading their separate ways through the city.

*

Rafael picked Cata up from your place in the morning on the 24th, giving you plenty of time to relax a bit before you had to head into work. You normally would’ve been bored out of your mind in an empty precinct, instead smiling at the array of photos you got throughout the day. Rafael took Catalina through Central Park, playing with her in the snow, there were a few shots of her making tiny snow angels. A shot of a somewhat derpy snow man they built together, and Cata with a dollop of whip cream on her nose as they stopped for hot chocolate.

Once she was changed into Christmas PJ’s, and a plate of cookies and glass of milk left out for Santa, she curled up against Rafael on the couch for the Rudolph movie. In that moment, the Christmas decorations surrounding his living room, an old childhood favourite on the t.v, and his daughter snuggled up into his side giggling at the reindeer’s antics every so often, he felt like nearly everything had finally fallen into place, that nearly everything was perfect.

If Rafael thought toddlers woke up early on a regular basis, he was not prepared for the barely seven a.m. wake up call as Catalina raced through the room, jumping onto the bed, and successfully him in the process.

“It’s Christmas!!!” Her tiny excited voice rang through the room with a shrill, “Daddy wake up!”

“Oh-Kay..” He chuckled, rolling over as he sat up, snuggling against her deeply as she giggled. “Merry Christmas Cata.”

“Merry Chrismis.” Her teeny voice replied, another giggle echoing through the room as he tickled her sides softly, the laughter getting louder as she collapsed over onto the bed, his tickling fingers moving faster, one grasping at her foot as she flailed. “Daddy!”

“Okay, okay.” He surrendered, ducking to kiss her head gently, “You want some breakfast?”

“Presents!” Thankfully she still had her bear in her arms, struggling to crawl off the bed in her speed to get back to the living room.

“Uh-uh. Cata. You get your stocking from Santa right now that’s it, we’ve got to wait until Mami gets here for the rest.” She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout and God Rafael knew he was staring at a carbon copy of you in that instant. It was honestly lucky she didn’t push it, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stand ground otherwise.

“Otay.”

She reached her hand up, linking around his finger as they walked out to the living room, a surprised squeal escaping her lips at the extra decorations Rafael had put up after she went to bed. He flicked the switch to turn on the Christmas lights, smiling at the way her face shone in the glow, silently taking it all in. Catalina bounded into the living room towards the stockings as Rafael turned on the coffee pot, pulling a few things out of the fridge into the oven so there would be food ready when you got there.

“This one?!” He straighted up, looking over into the living room to see his daughter holding the stocking with the C embroidered into it,

“That’s right! Good job sweetheart!” He made his way into the living room as she giggled, tugging the stocking to the couch where she sat herself facing him. Her tiny hands digging into the fabric, gasping and squealing as she pulled a variety of small toys, trinkets and treats out. Rafael snapped a few photos on his phone to document, feeling like his cheek were about to split at just how happy Catalina was, and in turn, how happy he was to witness it.  

About twenty minutes later he was tugging food out of the oven, placing it on hot pads on the counter while pulling down some plates. Catalina was sat at the kitchen table, a mug of warm hot chocolate in front of her, loaded with marshmallows and whipped cream while Elena played on the iPad to keep her occupied. Your knock on the door came earlier than you’d stated, but Rafael had been expecting it, remembering how much you loved Christmas.

“Merry Christmas.” He greeted, pulling open the door.

“Merry Chris— Jesus it looks like Santa’s elves threw up in here, holy shit Rafael, you really went all out.”

“Well…you did say it yourself, Christmas is the only holiday that matters…” Your eyes shot up to his, a sudden softness in them he hadn’t seen in years, you felt your breath catch in your throat, knowing exactly what his words meant.

“Raf…” You could feel the bristling of too much emotion in your eyes, and honestly, you surprised both of you as you nearly launched into a tight hug, your voice muffled into his shoulder, “thank you.”

“You deserve it…both of you do…” your gaze drifted over to Catalina, eyes still trained on the iPad, blissfully unaware of the hot chocolate moustache gracing her face. You snorted at the view, squeezing Rafael’s arm in thanks as you made your way into the apartment.

“Momma!” The movement finally dragged Cata away from Elena, “presents!?” She looked excitedly between the two of you. You laughed, nuzzling against her face, kissing her cheeks, pausing to wipe away the moustache with a napkin.

“In a minute baby. Can we eat first? Momma’s starving!”

“Momma plleeeaaase?” You rolled your eyes, glancing over at Rafael, a grin on your face.

“Can I at least get a coffee first?”

“Yes.” Catalina proudly answered, jumping down from her chair. She not so patiently waited while Rafael poured you a mug, letting you dress it how you’d liked, you swiped a cranberry orange muffin from the tray as you made your way into the living room. You weren’t going to starve just because your child was a overly impatient and dramatic.

Everything was conveniently wrapped in specific wrapping paper, Catalina knowing that the ones in princess paper were for her (though, to be completely honest, 90% of the presents were) not that she was getting spoiled this year, but everything was wrapped individually to make her feel that way. She tore through them faster than you’d expected, a flurry of chattering coming from her as she opened each one, you casually reminding her to say thank you when needed. When she reached the end of it, she surprised you by instead of tearing open the packaging to start playing she tumbled over to the mantle, picking up the other two stockings, bringing them over to the couch where you and Rafael were seated.

“Here Momma.” She handed you one, passing the other one off to Rafael before returning back to her pile of new things, her attention fully on them.

“Raf…” you glanced across at him, “you didn’t have to-“

“Santa must’ve known you’d be here Christmas morning. Didn’t want you to feel left out.” He shot you a friendly wink that you playfully rolled your eyes at.

“Thank you.”

A few moments passed while your eyes moved between the t.v playing the Disney Parks parade and Catalina exploring her new presents (though her attention was on the t.v the second a princess showed up). Then your gaze turned to the tree in the corner and your brow scrunched,

“You get distracted with the other decorations or something?” You asked, nudging Rafael’s leg with your foot.

“Hmm?”

“Your tree’s a little on the bare side.” He glanced up, the pine had a strand of colourful lights, and a trail of silver garland wrapped around it but nothing else.

“I believe it was you who told me the first ornament on the tree needed to be the most important. All things considered…it’s the first Christmas with the three of us, I figured I’d wait.”

“Raf…” he shot you a smile as he leant forward, grabbing a gift in pink wrapping paper from under the tree.

“Catalina, would you like to come open this?”

“Yes!” She nearly shrieked, bounding toward him quickly, tearing the paper from the box, “Elena?!”

“Yes.” Rafael replied, opening the box and pulling the ornament out, “she goes on the tree. And I think you should pick the best spot for her.” He glanced over his shoulder at you as he scooped her up into his arms, standing to walk towards the tree.

Catalina hummed and hawed for a few minutes, babbling half English half toddler speak through the room. You’d moved from the couch to her other side, brushing some loose hair from her face as she picked the perfect place, wrapping the string of the ornament around a tree branch with an assist from you.

“Perfect job baby.” You kissed her cheek softly, smiling at the way she snuggled agaisnt Rafael. You couldn’t help your hand coming up to his shoulder, resting gently a moment before giving it a squeeze, “I’m sure Papi has some more decorations for the tree, would you like to help us finish decorating?”

“Yes!”

The rest of the morning went just like that, Catalina passed between you and Rafael as she picked spots for the rest of the ornaments, successfully bringing the Christmas tree to its full potential. You all munched on some Christmas delicacies and far too many treats, and way too much coffee for the grown ups. Cata passed out in your lap just after noon as a mindless Christmas movie played on the t.v, Rafael moved from the couch to start tidying up as you stayed snuggled with your daughter. And for once, for the first time in a very, very long time, everything felt right, everything felt so domestic you couldn’t help it. The two of you knew deep down it truly was just because it was the Holiday season, and neither of you had had a true family to spend it with in god knows how long, but for now, you’d take it.

A few hours passed and you nudged Catalina awake as it was time to head to Lucia’s for dinner. The family feeling extending into the evening as you indulged in incredible food and delicious wine. Cata showed off as many of her new presents to her Abuelita as she could, babbling on about how great this Christmas was and Lucia warmed at the thought of all three of you spending a very civil holiday together.

This time Catalina passed out in Rafael’s arms, which he warmed at even more than anything else. You reassured him that, as previously stated, she was to spend the night at his place. You gave Lucia a tight hug, kissing your sleeping daughter on the head, giving Rafael’s hand a gentle squeeze of reassurance before you bid them goodnight.

You knew the whole co-parenting thing had potential to be a fucking disaster, but you were more than happy with the way it seemed to be going so far. Sure, you still had your hesitancies every once in a while, but things were looking pretty damn good. You both respected each other’s schedule’s (it helped that you knew how demanding your jobs were), and there was never any fighting when you had to shift things around, everything was always kept equally balanced. To say that things were finally looking up…would be 100% accurate.