#he’s from tennesse what do you mean
[Recorder clicks on. Through the entire recording, there is a persistent repetitive click and hiss from an oxygen tank]
WOMAN: And you promise this will be completely confidential?[A smooth, masculine laugh]
MAN: Rest assured, Miss–?WOMAN: Hmm. Let’s go with Cleo.
MAN: Rest assured, Miss Cleo, that we here at Convex Consulting will stop at nothing to keep your words secret.
CLEO: Right. Stop at nothing and take no further steps, I presume?
[An awkward silence.]
MAN: That usually works… Cub, why didn’t that work?
CUB: I don’t know, Scar. I don’t know.
CLEO: It’s because I’m not an idiot.
SCAR, plaintive, almost whining: But I’m doing my magic on you!
CLEO, scornful: Have you really never met another avatar before?
SCAR: What’s an atvavar?
[A sigh, muffled, as though into one’s hands]
CLEO: How about this? This statement stays out of the Institute’s hands for at least the next six months. You can charge them as much as you like for it then, but if I find out they got it early, I hunt you both down and take your heads. Sound fair?CUB: I dunno. The Institute pays best for the freshest stories, so–
CLEO: You take my deal or I take your heads. Which will it be, boys?
CUB: Well, I do like my head… I say we take the deal. Scar?
SCAR, softly: But my magic…
CUB: Yeah, he’s fine with it. Okay, so the Institute gets all fussy if we don’t format these correctly so–
CLEO: Seriously?
CUB: I mean, we are stealing their own prey and selling it back to them.
CLEO: Guess, I’d be fussy too, when you put it like that. So, how do we do this?
SCAR, halfheartedly: Really put your soul into it. Act it out. Relive all that tasty, tasty trauma. Try to make it sound all story like. Maybe use your artavar powers to make it more dramatic or something.
CUB: I got a couple of templates you can look through for the intro.
[Papers rustling]
CLEO: Okay, I got one.CUB: So, now we– Huh. The tape’s already on. That’s handy. Okay. May 2nd, 2020. Statement of Alias: Cleo regarding…
CLEO: A series of encounters with a substitute teacher called Joe Hills.
CUB: Statement begins.
