#his name is

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The real question: Which music video is he living in his mind?

The real question: Which music video is he living in his mind?


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I ship it, blasphemy I know but they’re cute and dumb your honor.

His name is Candy. His name is Candy and he wears names like hats. He takes a new life for each one. He keeps cinnamon hard candies in his pockets and he leaves butterscotch at the foot of his door, next to a saucer of cream. There are peppermints tucked in the pockets of his folders. Sugar necklaces, twizzlers that he ties like bracelets around his wrists. He unwraps caramels and sets them on the smooth stones by the entrance to the forest, giving their shiny silver wrappings to the crows. He spends his time outside in the trees, sucking on honey sticks and always leaving a few drops for who knows what. Candy leaves too quickly.

His name is Dust. He hides in the stacks in the library basement, the mazes of old books that no one but he and the librarians can be trusted to find their way out of alone. (There are no maps, the stacks move too quickly to be documented.) He will occasionally be seen pawing through crumbling volumes in the darkest corners of the basement in the areas where you shouldn’t go if you can help it, and if it can’t be avoided, you should never trust any human-appearing figure or any light you see. Dust knows his way out of the stacks. He knows his way out, but most of the time, he does not leave. Do not question it.

His name is Teabag. It is a silly name, but it suits him. It should not suit him, he knows better. But Teabag will be gone soon. He wears big fluffy sweaters and gold rimmed glasses. He carries a yellowing canvas bag, filled with watercolor paints and abandoned sketches. He spends his time in the garden or in his room, and his hands are always busy with something. He does not rest. His roommate has never seen him sleep.

His name is Red. It is a dangerous name, and it fits him too well. It was hard for him to shed his last skin, and people like this one less. He spends his time in the forest, day and night. The other students know better than to follow his example, but no one has advised him against it. He seems to be doing fine. His clothes are dirty and scratched up, and his eyes are a little too wild. In the wrong light, they glow the green of mold and rot. The groundskeepers worry for him, but he seems to be polite with the fair folk. He makes too many deals. (Any deals are too many, and he certainly makes more than any.) The Gentry flock to him like moths to a flame. We were ready for Red to go. 

His name is Atlas. It is too big for him, and he wears it awkwardly, like a kid borrowing his dad’s too-big blazer for school graduation–not quite right, not quite his. It works okay if you think of Atlas as a type of map; he has a weird, subtle way of knowing everything about campus, and he can show you places you’ve never seen before. A cave of purple crystals that can be found on the days where the pool has no bottom– the bottom’s there, I promise. It’s far enough down, though, that you shouldn’t look for it. And the cave is more dangerous than the journey to it. But he goes in and out safely, unchanged. He can show you a trail lined with green ribbon that will show you things you never dreamed of, but never take it without him. Only he knows the way back. The name Atlas says that he’s carrying the world on his shoulders, though, and he is not. Right now, he is not strong enough.

His name is Snapdragon. This one is dangerous, it’s too close to the Fair Folk. They will steal his name and cut out his eyes and if he is ever pulled into Elsewhere he will not come back. We urged him to change his name, and he would not. We urged him to stay out of the forest, and he did not. He has no regard for his safety. He is reckless. He smells like lightning. 

His name is Sunrise. You will probably not see him on campus, unless you are somewhere you shouldn’t be. He does not stay still for long. He gives good advice, if you’re willing to listen, but most aren’t. It’s wise not to look for him. 

His name is Rain. His name is Rain, and his roommate has not seen him in five days. Call a groundskeeper if you find him. 

His name is Stone. He comes and goes with the fog.

 His name is Tear. Where is he?

 He is gone.


 

He is a groundskeeper now, effectively. We don’t think he’s officially  been hired, but it doesn’t seem like any of the other groundskeepers were either. He knows the school like the lines on his palm, like the crows’ feet around his eyes and the smile wrinkles curling in at his lips. He will find you in the stacks beneath the library, where anyone but him would get lost. He will lead you back above ground, urging you to ignore any strange lights or figures lurking behind creaking shelves. He will rest with you in the garden, and give you herbal tea to help you sleep. You students with wild eyes and dirty clothes, he will pull you out of the woods and patch up the holes in your shirt. He will negotiate your way out of unwise deals with the Fair. He will show you caves filled with purple crystals hidden at the bottom of the pool where you can rest, and will lead you back down the trail lined with green ribbon if you lose your way. He will urge you to stay out of the forest, but should you refuse to listen, he will walk with you and keep you safe. To the students who go missing, by will or by being stolen, he will find you and bring you back. You can find him with the crows and in the trees. Call him by any name, they are all his. (None of them are his. He has no name.) (He has every name. He wears them like hats. He wears them like skin.) He is no one, nothing, nowhere. He is everyone, everything, everywhere. If you seek his help, leave an unwrapped caramel on one of the smooth stones at the entrance to the forest. Give the shiny foil wrapping to the crows, and he will be there.


-Rowan

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