#hopefully this is like a little bandaid on our pain

It’s been almost a year since I’ve posted. Wow. Let’s just say that this hiatus has been brutal, especially for us Philinda fans, and it hasn’t been easy to write fluff, even for me! But since it seems like AU is all we can cling to in this depressing time, here’s a new chapter to one of my favorite fics I’ve written. My plans for this fic always make me happy, even when canon is hurting us beyond belief. I really hope you enjoy this and are able to feel a little bit of happiness from reading it!

THANK YOU to my unfailing beta, Liz. I love you so much, girl. And thank you to all of you SO SO MUCH for all of your absolutely wonderful comments you’ve already left on this fic!!

This chapter is dedicated to my favorite Mama Bear, Melinda May, and the person who no doubt is a huge reason why I love Phil Coulson so much, Julie Coulson. Happy Mother’s Day to these mothers, and to all you wonderful mothers as well!

Also on AO3.

“What are you drawing, Mr. Phil?” Daisy peeked over his shoulder curiously.

“Hang on, you’ll know in one…second…there.” Phil looked at her and grinned proudly. “It’s been a while since I’ve tried to draw it, but I think I did pretty well!”

It was late, the setting sun spilled golden light into the playroom as they sat together in comfortable silence. Daisy had been restless and missing her mom more acutely today, so Phil suggested she try and make a drawing for her before they got ready for dinner. She agreed and immediately pulled out her art supplies. Phil had been working on a list of needs for a cupcake order for a bit before he decided he may as well try his hand with the markers as well.

Daisy’s head tilted to the side as she examined his drawing. “You made a plate with a star?”

Phil’s mouth dropped open, offended. “That’s Captain America’s shield. The best superhero mankind has ever known! Are you telling me you’ve never seen Captain America?”

Daisy shook her head and giggled at Phil’s obvious shock.

“Well,” Phil finally said, “we’re gonna need to fix that for sure. Hmph!” He stood up and stretched. “I’m going to go see if our lasagna is ready yet. Do you want to come or stay and finish your drawing?”

“I wanna stay. I have to finish this for Mommy.” Daisy answered, her concentration already back on her artwork.

“Okay,” Phil smiled softly at her before he stood and made his way to the kitchen. It had only been a few weeks since he’d started watching Daisy, but he already felt a strong attachment to her. He hated to see her sad and would do just about anything to make her smile. Children are the easiest people to love, his mother always said.

Since he was thinking about it…Phil pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and hit “Mom” from his speed dial. It rang as he opened the oven.

“Phil, honey, aren’t you still supposed to be working?”

Phil smiled at his mother’s worried voice. “I am, Daisy’s just in the other room while I check on the lasagna I made.”

“Oh, is that what you’ve called for? I’ve told you if you want to make it less soupy you need to -”

“Undercook the noodles, I know, Mom. Thanks.” He took out the pan and set it on the counter, checking it on all sides.

“And don’t forget to-”

“Let it stand for a while, I remember.”

Phil heard her huff slightly. “Well…I suppose you did learn from the best.”

He laughed in amusement. “I know I did.”

As Phil decided he was satisfied with the lasagna, he explained to his mom about his discussion with Daisy.

“You still have my Captain America comics and videos, right?”

“As if you’d ever let me throw those old things away,” Julie responded affectionately. “Should I mail them to you?”

“That would be great. Thanks, Mom. You know I’d love to come see you, but between working at the shop and watching Daisy…” Phil leaned against the kitchen counter and sighed.

“You’re exhausted.” She finished for him. “Please make sure you rest, Phil. I can tell you’re happy with what you’re doing, but don’t let it kill you. Or I’ll have to march over there and and force you to rest myself.”

Phil laughed and felt some of the weariness lift off his shoulders. His mother always had a gift for that.

“Oh yes, and how is, ah, Dr. May doing these days?” Phil rolled his eyes at her obviously teasing question and was about to sass back when he heard a noise from behind him.

“Mr. Phil?”

He turned and smiled at Daisy in the doorway, looking at him curiously. “Who’re you talking to?”

“I’m talking to my mom. Would you like to say ‘hi’?”

Daisy looked hesitant, but she nodded and moved closer to him.

“Mom, I’m going to put you on speaker, Daisy wanted to say ‘hello.’”

“Oh, Daisy! I’ve heard so much about you!” Julie’s voice came through the phone, her excitement causing the little girl to smile shyly.

“Hi, Mr. Phil’s mom.” Daisy said cautiously.

“Aren’t you just the most precious. Phil tells me you like playing soccer, is that true?”

“Uh huh.” Daisy looked at Phil, who smiled reassuringly.

“Tell me, who usually wins when you two play together?”

A grin crept up on Daisy’s face at the question, “Me! I get goals on Mr. Phil all the time.” She leaned closer to the phone and said in a stage whisper, “He’s not very good.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Hey!” Phil protested while Julie and Daisy giggled together. He huffed in mock offense. “Okay, time to say goodbye, we have dinner to get ready for.”

“Goodbye, Daisy, it was so nice to speak with you.”

“Bye!”

Phil held the phone back up to his ear. “Bye, Mom. Talk to you soon.”

“Talk to you soon, dear. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Phil hung up and faced Daisy once more. “So, you think I’m a bad soccer player, huh?”

Daisy nodded, her eyes sparkling with confidence.

“Well, then. I call a rematch tomorrow after school.”

“You’re on!” Daisy responded with her hands on her hips.

“All right, now let’s set this table for dinner.”

Melinda stepped into the house and hung up her keys that night, sniffing the air.

Italian? She thought.

It had become somewhat of a game to her, guessing what amazing meal Coulson had cooked up for that night. In her own realistic (or pessimistic, as Maria and Pepper would say) mind, she’d told herself not to get used to Coulson’s cooking, as surely he would get tired of trying to impress them and the delicious dinners would become more and more infrequent, but it had been weeks now and he was just as hard working. And obliging. And so good with Daisy. And-

Melinda cut herself off from that train of thought.

“Right on time.” Coulson’s smile was ready and waiting for her as she stepped into the kitchen, along with a plate full of lasagna and vegetables in his hand.

“Mama!” Daisy’s excited greeting was the only warning she had before her daughter slammed into her arms.

“Hello to you too, Daisy.” Melinda lifted Daisy and kissed her cheek, relishing the feel of her two little arms hugging her neck. She sighed and felt herself relax. This was all the therapy she needed after a long day.

“I missed you, Mama.” Daisy said, her voice wobbling.

“I missed you too, xiǎo huā .” Melinda held her tighter and ran a comforting hand through her daughter’s long hair. She waited until Daisy’s grip on her loosened before asking, “Did you have another good day at school?”

Daisy nodded and finally slid out of her mother’s embrace to return to her food sitting on their breakfast table. “I finished all my work and Mrs. Weaver gave me time on the computer today!” Melinda smiled briefly as her daughter picked up a half-eaten piece of bread from her plate.

“Daisy, I told you earlier that you can’t just fill up on the garlic toast. Eat some of those vegetables too.” Coulson spoke to the girl firmly as he set the other plate down on the table. Melinda was pleased, although she kept her face unreadable, that Coulson was encouraging healthy habits. Too many babysitters took the easy way out and let children eat whatever they wanted while they watched them. Melinda liked knowing she wasn’t the only “bad guy” when it came to eating better.

The little girl pouted Melinda’s way, as if asking for her to overrule what Coulson said. She merely raised an eyebrow back in response. Daisy sighed, but set the bread down and took her fork to the cooked food.

“We had a great day too, by the way,” Coulson motioned for Melinda to take a seat at the table, which she did without protest, eagerly anticipating the tasty-looking meal. “But there is one issue I have to bring up.”

Melinda paused and looked up at him. He wiped his hands on a towel before throwing it back over his shoulder, his tone and facial expressions serious. She turned her body toward him and nodded to show she was listening.

Coulson folded his arms and leaned back on the kitchen counter. “How does your daughter not know who Captain America is?”

Melinda blinked. “…Excuse me?” She let out a short, confused laugh. “You mean, that one superhero from those comics?”

“He’s not just one of those superheroes, he’s Captain America! And there’s more than comics, he has his own action figures, trading cards, TV show…how could you let this poor girl grow up without knowing one of the greatest men in history? It’s a huge oversight, Dr. May.” Coulson’s indignant speech amused Melinda to no end. She had sensed some nerdiness in him since their first meeting, now she knew where it stemmed from…superheroes, evidently.

“Infictional history, you mean.” Melinda couldn’t stop herself from teasing him, just a little.

He opened his mouth to retort, but Daisy piped up from her chair excitedly. “Mr. Phil says Captain America has a shield! And he uses it to protect himself from bullets, and he can hit bad guys on the head with it!” Melinda smiled at her enthusiasm. “His mommy is going to send some movies and comic books to us so we can read them!”

“With your permission first, of course.” Coulson interjected quickly, looking slightly embarrassed at the mention of his mother.

Melinda thought about it for a moment. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d watched or cared about a superhero franchise, but she had a few fond memories from her younger days of Peggy telling her about the different comics and shows, and she had actually enjoyed reading about the secret agents who worked alongside the powered characters. Melinda couldn’t remember any negatives about Captain America off the top of her head, and at this point, she knew and trusted Coulson enough to have good judgement about what to show her daughter.

“Please, Mommy?” Daisy’s big brown eyes begged her to say yes, and Melinda couldn’t stop a laugh from escaping as Coulson crouched behind Daisy’s chair and raised his eyebrows, mimicking her sad puppy dog look.

“Please?” He echoed.

Melinda held up her hand in surrender. “Fine.”

Daisy squealed and high-fived Coulson, whose blue eyes then beamed her way.

Melinda shook her head to fight a smile and broke their eye contact in favor of looking at her plate. “Can I eat my dinner now?”

“Of course!” Coulson stood back up and moved to check on the oven. “I have a fresh batch of garlic bread that will be done in just a few minutes.”

“Enough time for you to eat some too then,” Melinda stated. Her tone didn’t allow for protest. “Sit and eat.”

Coulson had begun resisting less and less when it came to eating with them, Melinda was pleased to note. She didn’t think it was fair for him to prepare the whole meal and not enjoy it along with them.

“Yes, ma’am.” Coulson served a plate and set it down on the other side of Daisy, across from Melinda.

“So, what’s so great about Captain America?” Melinda asked as she took a bite of lasagna.

And thus opened the floodgates.

If she didn’t already know how talkative Coulson could be, she sure knew now, she mused to herself.

Somehow, the stream of conversation didn’t bother her as much as it usually would with other people. Melinda sat and listened to his passionate views (in between interjections from her 4-year-old), saw the enthusiastic way his hands gestured and his eyes lit up even brighter than before, and found herself weighing in and becoming engaged in a conversation about supernatural powers, responsibility, morals, character, history, right and wrong, and more. They were so engrossed in their debate that Phil nearly burned the garlic bread before she reminded him. Their conversation continued long after Daisy had lost interest and went to play by herself, and went on as they finished their food and cleaned the kitchen together.

“Oh wow.” Coulson winced as he finished hanging the kitchen towel in its place on the stove, and catching a glimpse at the clock in the process. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you so long talking about, well-”

“Your obsession.” Melinda cut him off with a smirk as she slid the container of extra lasagna into the fridge.

Coulson grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck. Melinda noticed his face looked more pink than it had a minute ago. “Yeah…not my most selling characteristic, I’ve been told. I usually start losing people after the first sentence.” He laughed self-consciously.

“It’s fine, Coulson. If I didn’t think it was interesting, I would’ve made it clear.” Melinda leaned back on the counter, chuckling internally at his embarrassment. Just to reassure him, she added, “I didn’t mind. And I’m a good listener.”

“Yeah, you are. And a great debater.” Coulson grinned at her.

Melinda cleared her throat to stop herself from smiling back too long. “Plus, I should know what kind of values they depict Captain America having anyway, since Daisy will be watching and reading about him.”

“Oh, yes. Of course.” Coulson nodded seriously. “I know how impressionable children are at this age and I wouldn’t show her anything that could potentially be a bad influence on her.”

“I believe you.” Melinda answered simply.

They stood there for another moment before Coulson excused himself to go say goodnight to Daisy.

As he walked away, Melinda mulled over the decision she’d been trying to make for a week now—whether or not she trusted Coulson to take care of Daisy more full time, which would include watching her at the house during Melinda’s night shift.

It was a big step for her—allowing someone else to be in charge of her daughter’s safety throughout the night—but she had a gut feeling about him. That he would be good for Daisy, and by extension, good for her as well. And her instincts were almost always right. Plus, she didn’t want to depend on Peggy’s good graces forever. Melinda knew her friend loved Daisy like another daughter, but she didn’t need to have her sleeping at her house at least once a week, every week. No, as hard as it was for her, Melinda knew it was time to take a leap of faith with Phi–Coulson, she corrected herself firmly–and see if this arrangement would work out or not.

Decision made, Melinda joined Coulson and walked out the front door to speak with him.

“I have something to ask you.” She hesitated, but then continued when he turned toward her. “It’s been close to a month since you’ve started watching Daisy and she’s clearly taken with you. I don’t think she was even this happy with Hannah watching her. And I have been happy with your service as well.”

Coulson half-smiled and looked down humbly. “Thank you. She’s an incredible kid, and she makes it easy.” He looked up at her, blue eyes sincere. “You’ve raised her extremely well.”

Melinda’s lips quirked up. “Thank you. I was wondering…what would you think about staying the night here? That is,” Melinda hurriedly finished as Coulson’s eyes widened a fraction. “For Daisy, I mean, to watch her during my overnight shift tomorrow?” Who’s the awkward conversationalist now? Melinda thought grimly to herself. “And instead of babysitter, I’d officially hire you as her nanny, which of course would come with a pay increase. I know you have your other job too, but…”

Thankfully, Coulson was already nodding with the close-lipped smile that somehow still managed to make his eyes crinkle at the corners. “Absolutely. I’d be honored.”

“Great.” Melinda smiled back in relief. “Would you be able to come tomorrow around 2:30 and we can discuss more details?”

“Deal.” Coulson held out his hand to shake.

She took it. “Deal.”

“Goodnight, Dr. May.” Coulson sent her one last grin before he walked away.

“Bye, Mr. Phil!” Daisy ran up behind Melinda to wave one last time. He waved back and disappeared into his car.

Melinda shut the door with a slight smile and then turned and spoke in Mandarin. “Time for bed, Daisy.” She said seriously.

“First come see the picture I made for you!” Daisy pulled on Melinda’s hand until they reached her bedroom. “Mr. Phil only helped me with the words a little bit! Here’s you and me and our house, and I’m giving you a flower, and this says ‘I love you.’ Mr. Phil said he didn’t know how to help me write it in Mandarin though.”

“Ohh, little flower, this is beautiful.” Melinda felt a slight sting of tears at Daisy’s shy, but proud smile and the stick figures on the page. Melinda took Daisy into her lap and wrapped her arms around her, soaking up this sweet moment with her baby. All the secret thoughts and doubts that plagued her every day about what a terrible mother she was became insignificant here, snuggled with the most important person in the world to her.

Melinda looked at the picture again. “Who is this right here?” She pointed to another figure on the page that had several circles drawn next to it.

“That’s Mr. Phil. He’s making us cookies to eat.”

Melinda laughed and pressed several kisses onto Daisy’s smiling cheeks. “Of course he is. How about we put this on our fridge and then get ready for storytime?”

Daisy nodded obligingly (even though Melinda knew it wouldn’t be that easy to put her to bed, it never was with her and her active little body. But at least she would be less likely to lose her mind about it tonight thanks to this precious moment), and they held hands all the way to the kitchen.