All right, guys, the rest of tonight is (possibly) going to be spent tracking the progress on the Ever Given, a 400-meter-long container ship that ran aground in the Suez Canal and is currently struck.
For the fun bit, After trawling through twitter for updates I have found that This
is the Ever Given’s route it took before entering the canal
Also side note that the woman on the Maersk Denver who posted the photo of the stuck Ever Given also mentioned that when the Ever Given ran aground the ship behind the Maersk Denver lost power and almost hit it so it’s been an exciting day for them
As a proud Brazilian playing Slow Burn I really, really, really enjoyed chapters 5 and 6 and how they represented Brazil and Brazilian’s culinary in it.
And how they did a good research to showcase food that are not that popular among foreigners. I mean… Feijoada, Caipirinha, Brigadeiro and Pão de Queijo are super mainstream, but I was actually surprised when they mentioned Galinhada, an all time favorite of my late grandma as well ❤️
Quindim is also one of my fav desserts (guys, you just have to TRY that. It’s one of the most amazing foods in the entire world. Pave is a classic and well known for linguistic jokes every Christmas and New Year’s Eve) and batida de abacaxi com coco is to die for.
Even the cultural aspects were represented well. Okay, I’m not from Rio (even though I’ve been to the city and absolutely LOVED it, minus the hellish weather) and I’ve never been to it during Carnival, but I think they got the spirit of what we call Feira de Rua or Feira Livre = Street Fairs. You’ve got this lively vibe and there’s a lot going on and Pastel is a MUST do if you happen to be in a Feira, checking out the locals’ art is a must do as well.
BUT… Not everything is perfect and as a Brazilian it’s my duty to inform you all that NO SELF-RESPECTING restaurant owner would call their restaurant TUDO AZUL. It’s quite popular to have restaurant/diners and bars here called Ze’s Bar or Chico’s Bar or even Bar do Zé, most of time the apostrophe is used wrongly as well, adapting to a Brazilian rule even we don’t get haha and Hortencia Gadelha… That name sounded… unlike Brazilians. I don’t know… What about some last name like Silva, Ferreira, Pereira, Santos… I don’t know… something like that? xD
Anyway, loved this chapter and I’m absolutely loving Slow Burn as a whole. Amazing book! Great work, PB!
Eda and her kids depart, pay the Owl House a short visit, and approach Bonesborough, much to Luz’s delight and Eda’s chagrin.
Welp, here I am again.
After posting a chapter on my other ongoing fanfic, Built to Last, and receiving overwhelming positive support, I’ve decided to update this fanfic as well. I’ve been struggling to find a beta reader which was the main reason I didn’t upload, but since it’s been impossible I’ve just decided that I’ll send you guys on a scavenger hunt for mistakes instead x) I’ve also had a hard time with some self-doubts because of some people but I hope I’ll feel better about my writing soon. In case you want to support me, some kind words always brighten my days and help a lot with my confidence <3
That being said, I hope you have a lot of fun reading! Because it’s been a lot of fun writing x)
It was early in the morning when Eda crawled out of the tent, stretching her cracking back and reaching up to the sky as high as she could as she loosened up her stiff limbs. She was yawning and huffing when she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, then she patted King’s head who had followed her outside for a quiet morning. The sun was just barely shining through the thick treetops, the earliest rays of the still very young light barely grazing one of her knees.
She yawned again, before starting to get dressed in sturdy boots and her usual get-up that was worthy of a retired knight, her heavy jerkin that reached down to the middle of her thighs and had worn elbows as well as the chest plate that she strapped to her torso.
Only when she wore all of her armor she felt protected and whole. When Luz had started sleeping in her tent with her, and later when Gus had joined, she had taken off the armor around the children so they had it softer, but at the war front, she had always slept with it. Way too many times, their camp had been raided and attacked, way too many times she had had to jump up in the middle of the night and start fighting for what her life was worth, while some other unlucky soldiers had been stabbed in their sleep.
Humming, Eda looked around, before deeming them safe and searching for the chest of food she always kept away from their tent in case wild animals and monsters picked up the scent despite their protective barrier. If they ate their supplies, so be it, but she’d never forgive herself if anything hurt the two little children that were still sleeping in the tent.
Sometimes both their sleeping habits were a gift to Eda. They allowed her at least one small timeframe in the morning when she could relax and listen to the silence for once.
The earliest birds now awoke with the first rays of sunshine and began chirping, a wonderful symphony of animals singing about the joys of being alive.
Eda had never been one for romance, but these were the moments she felt like she could be writing poetry.
Breathing through, she took a long swig from her water bottle, before patting King’s head again who was curling up against her leg, seemingly resting for another little bit before Luz would be keeping him entertained the whole day.
Smiling, Eda blinked against the early morning sun and waited a few minutes until one of the sunbathed spots would graze her face. A little bit of warmth kissed her cheek and she enjoyed that for a moment before stretching once again and starting to eat the bread she had found in the chest earlier. After a bit of rummaging around, she had even found a bit of meat left, which she had carefully hidden from King.
This was her kind of time, she decided. Funnily enough, back when she had still been a knight and younger, waking up early had been the thing she had hated most. But now, with the children still sleeping and the world just so waking up, without giving her responsibilities yet was such a nice feeling.
Humming, Eda ate the bread and meat, before giving King a little bit as well so he wouldn’t have to hunt for bigger prey this afternoon. He gratefully accepted and started devouring the scrap she had given him before she started packing up as quietly as she could, not to destroy this moment of peace.
When just the tent was left over to fold up and stash in her pocket dimension of the bag she had slung around her shoulder at all times, Luz just poked her head out, her hair sticking in all the wrong directions while she blinked against the now warmer sun. Following shortly, after the older girl had crawled out of the tent and started stretching much like her mentor, Gus looked outside and was greeted by Eda scooping him up and greeting him for the morning before ruffling Luz’s hair.
“Are you two rested?”, she asked but before Luz, who was trapped in a yawn, could answer, she continued, “We’ll start towards Bonesborough today! It’ll be a long way ahead and I need you two fresh and early so that we can best the journey before sundown.”
Luz gave a nod while she was still struggling to wake herself up, and Gus just hid his face in Eda’s shoulder.
She wouldn’t admit how adorable that was, mainly because they needed to get going already. But contrary to Gus, Luz was already fully charged with energy and practically bouncing in place.
“How long is it to Bonesborough?”, she asked with a gleam in her eyes that Eda could only describe as absolutely ecstatic, even if she didn’t know why her apprentice would be so overjoyed to go to a city. It turned out that Luz would explain to her in full and excruciating detail why exactly she wanted to go to Bonesborough since their journey was long and the child could, curse Eda’s pointy ears, walk and talk at the same time.
“Just about one day of a journey by foot, so you better get ready and eat something before I’ll leave you behind.”, Eda playfully threatened, and Luz quickly vanished back in the tent to put on her boots and jerkin. Looking down at her younger kid, she couldn’t hide a grin.
“Gus.”, he looked up with a questioning gaze, “Were you lazy this morning?”
The innocent expression he feigned quickly dissolved into mischievous giggles while Eda looked right through him and sure enough when she playfully swatted at his legs, the illusion boots he had conjured vanished in a blue puff.
“You better follow your sister, or I’ll tell King to clean your ears, mister.”
The young boy laughed and kicked in her arms while she let him down on the floor again to watch him vanishing in the tent again, shaking her head.
She had talented kids. One was fast and sneaky and practically nothing could bring her mood down, and the other was already insanely skilled with magic at the tender age of five years old.
Eda smiled to herself, before propping her hands up on her hips and looking out to the forest while she heard the siblings squabbling inside the tent.
They had a long walk ahead and she would probably have to carry Gus a bit of the way because he couldn’t walk as far yet, and she didn’t want Luz to carry his weight. Maybe she should get some leaves ready for him to sit on so the ropes wouldn’t make him feel uncomfortable. The tarp tree would have some bigger ones, maybe even big enough to wrap the boy’s legs in like a diaper.
Boy, was Eda glad she had only adopted them after the diaper age.
Huffing, she pulled her sword and searched for a nearby tree growing these big, sturdy leaves before returning and stashing them away in her pocket dimension. Maybe, she’d even be able to use them for a temporary roof above their tent, because even with magic enhancements, the boiling rain would always leave its marks on the poor, worn fabric while the leaves of the tarp tree had a heat resistant surface.
After she had rolled them up and put them away, the kids were crawling out of their space and she was able to collapse the tent to stash it away, too, without any weight being added to her shoulders.
These pocket dimensions were truly a gift.
With that, the small family was ready to leave. Eda had already kicked out the ashes of their fireplace and spread them over their campsite to ensure nothing would be burning and to cover up their traces before they found their way back on the road and started walking away from the village where they had been working yesterday.
The sun was still young, throwing long shadows in its way up the sky, and there was fog lying all over the fields and soaking the grounds. Eda took care that their sleeves were all pulled down properly and that she could conjure a shield anytime they got too close to the steaming fog that was wavering over the gentle slopes, hotter than most would think and easily causing burns.
After a while, the weather cleared up to show the bright blue sky and Luz visibly breathed through.
She had never liked the oppressing heat of the rain or morning fog, but she loved the dry heat of the sun. It was shining right into her face, making her feel dry and comfortable as she was stretching again and charging her energy, even more so if that was even possible.
Humming, the girl started skipping, before turning back to Eda, walking backward.
“I wanna see all of Bonesborough!”, she announced to her mentor who all but lifted her eyebrows at that statement.
“Why?”, she asked, taking Gus’ hand who gestured for her to grab his, not minding guiding the small kid on her hand, “What do you know about Bonesborough that you want to see?”
“I heard it’s a big city!”, Luz exclaimed, her arms drawing the estimated size that she found appropriate. Which was a big gesture, “I heard there’s a lot of people, more than I’ve ever seen, and buildings so big I’ll have to put my head to my back to see their top.”
The old knight couldn’t help but smile at that and nodded fondly, watching her kid grinning as brightly as the sunrise in the East.
“Oh yeah? Where did you hear all this?”
“The people on the streets talk!”, Luz explained, skipping to her place next to Eda’s other side now and taking her hand. She smiled warmly at that.
“They talk to you about Bonesborough?”, Eda questioned and the girl on her hand shook her head rapidly, furrowing her eyebrows.
“No, but I listen to them. They say Bonesborough is the biggest city anyone has ever seen, and that there are so many people there. They say that the marketplace is overcrowded at any time of the day, even at night, and that it’s dizzyingly interwoven.”
At that, the witch had to chuckle, causing Luz to look up to her with a questioning expression. She watched the older woman laugh, before pouting.
“Who taught you these words, Luz?”, she finally forced out and Luz huffed, slipping her hand out of Eda’s to cross her arms. For once she had wanted to sound smart, and her mentor had nothing better to do than to make fun of her. Pouting, she looked in the other direction but soon felt a hand ruffling her hair.
“You’re really smart, kid.”, she reassured the child and sometimes, Luz asked herself if Eda was reading her mind or if she was just such an open book, “What else did you learn about Bonesborough?”
For a moment too long, Luz was contemplating while pushing her hand back in Eda’s, and Gus instead chimed up, his other hand that wasn’t holding on to his mentor’s tightly buried in King’s thick fur.
“Rich people!”, he exclaimed and earned an amused gaze from the adult, as well as his sister’s face lighting up.
“Right! There’s a lot of rich folks, so rich that we can’t imagine it. Like, the guy with the necklace I saw yesterday, he would steal from them!”, she explained, but instead of chuckling, Eda just nodded. Luz saw that as a motivation to continue to somehow humor her mentor again, “And I’ve heard of weird animals! They keep them in cages. They’re like the monsters that you sometimes hunt, but alive!”
Eda snorted. With a proud smile, Luz finally looked away from her mentor and back over the wide plains of the countryside, the fog slowly lifting. The day got a bit cooler and it became easier to breathe the more the steam vanished.
“Kids, that’s called a zoo. They bring dangerous and exotic animals and monsters there to look at them.”
At that, Gus seemed puzzled.
“They don’t hunt them?”, he inquired and Eda’s gaze wandered back down to him and his big dark eyes staring up to her. Shaking her head, she squeezed his hand softly, “No, they don’t hunt them. They just catch them and showcase them. Many think that that’s crueler than killing them.”
She hadn’t been able to leave that comment out. Eda wasn’t a big fan of zoos and she would do her best to teach her kids that keeping an animal caged was not a very ethically right thing to do.
Luz thoughtfully nodded at that, while Gus just looked ahead and tried to put two and two together, before speaking again.
“Is-… Is King caged?”, he tried and Eda immediately understood that he had mistaken a caged animal for a pet, or rather, a companion.
“King came to me when he was tired and hungry, much like you two. Do you two feel caged to be with me?”
Luz immediately shook her head and Gus followed, even if he was a little more hesitant to do so. This wasn’t because he was troubled but rather, because he was still thinking very hard about that.
“No, I don’t.”, he finally conducted and Eda nodded at that.
“There’s a big difference between wanting to be somewhere and being forced to be somewhere Gus.”, she explained and Luz nodded importantly.
“Yeah, it is a very big difference.”, she started educating her brother who peeked past Eda’s knees, to make eye contact with Luz, “Because, people look at me all the time like they look at stuff they don’t know, but you don’t and I’m happy to be with you guys.”
She hadn’t exactly made a point, yet Gus seemed to take it as a pearl of very important wisdom. Luz nodded again, and Eda gave a small smile while looking up. Kids could be so easy to shape, another thing why she loved having adopted them. She could form the new generation, teach them the wisdom she had had to find out for her own, and with a bit of luck, she would be able to lighten up the world just a little bit, even if it was a small start.
Maybe Luz and Gus would continue carrying Eda’s lessons out to the world, and it would make a difference someday.
There was something powerful about being able to teach children, Eda found.
“… People look at you strangely?”, she finally asked, though, and looked at her daughter again. At that, Luz merely shrugged. She seemed to be used to it, and while Eda had picked up on it as well in the few years Luz had stayed with her already, she hadn’t thought the kid would pick it up. She must have underestimated her ability to walk through crowds with open eyes.
“Yeah, they do.”, she nonchalantly replied, looking ahead again but not without squeezing the knight’s fingers, “I look like a witch but I don’t perform magic and have no pointy ears. But I don’t mind.”
She did mind. Eda knew she minded not knowing what species she was, even if it was just an annoying thought every now and then, but she knew her daughter did ask herself that question.
It wasn’t a big issue.
There were so many species of demons on the Boiling Isles, and so many variations, Luz was just some sort of demon. There were a lot of demons, looking very similar to witches, who could not do magic.
She just assumed Luz was another weird demon hybrid with witch ancestors, but without a bile sac, and she knew Luz was probably thinking the same thing. It wasn’t that she wasn’t aware of the incredible variety of species.
Yet, and Eda could understand that she did ask herself sometimes what biped demon species didn’t have a bile sac.
Humming, she squeezed her daughter’s hand back and reassuringly smiled at her.
“Don’t mind them. People sometimes have strange views of what’s supposed to be normal, but we know better, alright?”
In an instant, Luz puffed her chest out, proud by the implication that Eda considered her smarter than most, and nodded. Her smile was as bright as the rising sun, and her eyes as clear as the sky above them as she looked up to her. Sometimes that kid had an aura that almost scared Eda. She was so positive and clear about what delights her.
“That’s right!”, she agreed, “We know better!”
Gus still seemed to wonder, but that was because of his naturally curious spirit and because he was still so small. Tugging on Eda’s hand, he caught her attention and made her look down to him, furrowing his eyebrows. She softly tugged back to assure him she was listening and he hesitated, but finally spoke.
“Butwhat is Luz?”, he asked and Eda smiled.
“She’s your sister.”, she answered, humming, “And my daughter.”
That made him nod, yet it didn’t smooth the deep, thoughtful wrinkle from between his eyebrows, his chin pushed up front and his lips tightly together. That’s how he always looked like when he was thinking hard.
Eda tugged on him again to make way for a carriage, coordinating both her children and her wolf pup off the road and back on again without stepping into any boiling puddles, then she checked back on Gus again.
His gaze was turned up front, seemingly still in thought, while Luz had moved on already. She had let go of Eda’s hand and skipped ahead two paces, wandering through the world as if it was hers, looking around without so much as a care in the world. Sometimes, Eda wondered if she would grow up to be the same or if she would learn some seriousness in her life. Half of her wanted her daughter to grow up and learn to take some things more seriously, for her own protection, but another part wanted her to keep all the childish innocence she was living right now.
Gus tugged on her fingers again and spoke before she even had time to look down at him.
“But, we can do magic and Luz can’t.”, he finally said, and once again, Eda had to marvel at the perception a five-year-old like him already possessed. Nodding, she agreed with him and he huffed slightly, before puffing his cheeks out. Another very “Gus” thing to do.
“But Gus, not everybody can do magic. For that, Luz can do other things. She can steal really fast and she has the funniest jokes, doesn’t she?”, Eda made him think hard again when she said that. She had always been eager not to let Luz feel in any way less than her or Gus ever since she had taken that little girl into her heart. And she would do her best to teach that to her young son as well.
“Yeah, right…”, he agreed, still in thought, but Eda was sure he wouldn’t start treating Luz differently than him. He loved his big sister and always enjoyed going out to steal with her and find new fun things to come up with, new techniques and plans, and most of all, new mischief to spread.
She knew he adored Luz’s quick wit and her ability to think up ridiculous plans that worked most of the time.
Humming, Eda looked ahead again and let Gus have his thoughts for a bit while Luz had discovered something on the road a few paces ahead and was curiously poking at it.
Eda immediately recognized it as a swamp slug and let her be, those would be harmless.
The further the sun rose, the more of the clear sky became visible and they were able to take their jerkins off in the heat since they didn’t need their sleeves anymore to protect them from the hot fog.
The world had fully awoken now and merchants began filling the streets, carts, and carriages wobbling down gravel paths, bakers and farmers wandering to the nearest village to sell their goods, travelers up and about on their merry way, wherever that may go.
Back in the days before the war, there would also be knights on roads like this, but since everyone had gone to fight at the fronts, there were none around except Eda.
Some younger knights in training, squires, could be found around bigger cities and monster-infested areas to enrich their experience and train their skills in tournaments and hunts, but out here on the countryside, Eda was quite a sight.
Luz and Gus were used to it, yet some did turn their head after her chest plate and sword, eyeing it with skeptical glances.
If Eda was here and not at the front, these people suspected, something must be fishy about her. Most probably suspected she was a thief in knight’s clothes, Eda knew of these folks, but she actually had all the training to be a knight. She kept to herself with a smug grin, quite enjoying the quizzical looks people gave her, the second glance demons took when passing.
It took them about half a day with some breaks so Gus could rest his little legs, to reach the Owl House where Eda resided when she wasn’t touring through the lands.
Her little house was hidden in the forest, away from prying eyes, and held all her belongings and goods that she had collected over the years. It was also her bank, where she kept all her stolen goods and her money, so nobody could find it.
Sighing in relief, she approached the little house with the big, circular window at the front, smiling at the familiar sight. Gus was on her back and dozing away, yet the little girl next to her wore the same expression on her face.
Luz hadn’t seen the Owl House very often, at least not that she could recall it.
Eda took her on the road most of the time, to steal from the rich and travel the lands for missions and mercenary work. Because her mentor knew that mercenaries never stood still.
Following the older witch inside, she immediately ran upstairs to her room, where she had collected some of her stuff that she had found, stolen or that Eda had left her with after a particularly successful job or coup.
She opened the little box she had pushed under the bed months ago and blew the dust off of it, just as Gus sleepily followed her and sat down next to her.
He had his own little box, yet he was more interested in what Luz had accumulated in hers, mostly because she was older than him and had been with Eda for longer already.
Inside, she pushed away all the little trinkets and memory holders she owned, before pulling out a very special piece to her. It was a little necklace, very fragile and detailed, yet it had never been broken. She had had it for as long as she could think, even before Eda, and she had never given it away.
Eda had told her to put it away whenever they were on the road because other thieves might be interested in the jewelry and others could identify her as their thief if she kept it on. Such a piece made her recognizable and Eda had urged her to become one with the crowd, a face one would soon forget again to stay safe.
Mesmerized, she put the chain over her hand and observed how the dim light from outside was broken by the beautiful little pendant.
It was a little circle with some odd symbols and markings in it, wearing the littlest clear stone she could imagine, and it shimmered and shone in a way that always left Luz with goosebumps.
“Why don’t you wear it?”, Gus asked and Luz hummed with a shrug, not necessarily eager to explain to him why she didn’t. All she was interested in was that it was back with her, back in her hands. She never felt complete without it.
Slowly, she pulled it on and immediately felt the warmth surging through her chest as the little pendant rested against her skin, making her smile wider.
“It’s special to me, I don’t want it gone.”, she finally replied and for Gus, that was all the answer he needed to get up and wobble out of the room towards his bedroom, undoubtedly to search for his own little treasure chest.
Luz was still entranced by her most valuable piece of belonging, feathery touching the little pendant. She believed her mother had given it to her when she had still been a baby, but she wasn’t entirely sure.
The delicate, golden metal was warm against her skin, as it was always when she put it on, as warm as if it had just been worn.
Luz once again tapped against it, something she only did when she was alone and to herself, and watched it beginning to glow. The intricate lines of the tiny symbol started illuminating her skin, but it didn’t feel too hot. The light from the pendant was soft and nice, and she liked it a lot.
Concentrating on the light she willed it to come out of the pendant and watched as a little glowing orb, no bigger than the nail of her thumb, extracted itself from the metal and floated in front of her.
This was magic, she was sure of it. She had watched Eda creating little balls of light for her when she had been younger, and when Gus couldn’t sleep.
She hadn’t figured out how she could produce magic by herself yet, without a bile sac and any witch skills, but this was her little magic. She had kept it a secret for now, because even if her memory was foggy, she thought she had heard her mother telling her not to show anyone when she had been given the pendant.
She had just been an infant, and no other child of her age had reported they could recall their infancy times, but she had been sure of it that she had known her mother. She had supposed that was just another demon thing her species had, and since she was some sort of unspecified biped demon, she had figured that was normal for her, to remember such early stuff.
At Eda’s call, the girl perked up and the light of the pendant faded to her command, returning to be a normal necklace.
She hadn’t told Eda her necklace could do that. It wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted to, especially after Eda had slowly started adopting her and caring for her. Her mother had been insistent that she shouldn’t tell anyone, it was hers alone, and Luz would be honoring that request, especially since it was her mother who had asked her not to do that.
She quickly ran down the stairs and stood at the ready by the front door, not carrying any belongings but the clothes she had on her back since she didn’t have anything but her pendant that she could’ve gotten from the Owl House.
Everything else they needed Eda was carrying around in her bag, she called it something weird like a pocket thing, and there was nothing of value that she could be needing.
All she had wanted to get was the necklace, she had been parted from it for too long and with the brand-new jerkin she was wearing now, she could easily be hiding the necklace from the outside world. Not even Eda noticed when she was calling Luz downstairs, ready to get going towards Bonesborough again. If they were lucky and fast enough, they could still arrive at the city before sundown and possibly get a room in a tavern or inn.
Gus came wobbling down the stairs and Eda checked on everything one last time, her run-down furniture, her hidden stashes of goods, and her bag if she had everything packed before leaving the Owl House again.
Luz got a good last look.
The carpet was stained and dusty, the walls kind of damp, and the furniture looked like it had seen better days, with stains of wax running down some unlucky corners, but it was the home of her mentor and she felt comfortable in it.
Just as fast as they had arrived, they had already left again. Gus had taken a little polished stone he had found by the Boiling seas once and was playing with it in his hands while Luz was rubbing her chest, where the pendant was hanging and warming her.
Eda curiously glanced at the stone in her son’s hands but was quickly more interested in her daughter and her neck, where she had seen something golden blinking.
“Did you put on that necklace again?”, she asked and the small child nodded, smiling up at her.
“I think the jerkin will hide it. And I wanna wear it again, I missed it.”, she said, softly rubbing at the spot under her shirt where the pendant was hanging.
Smiling, her mentor left her alone about this. Luz was a smart little kid and if she thought the necklace could be hidden sufficiently, she wouldn’t object.
If there was something she wanted her children to learn early on was independence, the ability to think and decide for themselves and bear the consequences. If Luz would lose the pendant that would be sad but she would have learned the chance of that happening and kept an eye on her belongings more closely.
Mostly in silence, though accompanied by Luz’s humming, they continued down the path down to the busy road where they had come from. The direction towards Bonesborough had only become busier while they had been away at the Owl House, and now, merchants, young knights, travelers, beggars, and aristocrats were to be seen on the paved road towards the closer-knit villages just before the city.
Luz and Gus stumbled between the carriages, pack animals, and folks by foot, but Eda noticed with a slight gleam of pride, that her children wasted no time assessing the rich and sneaking their hands in their pockets to possibly snatch something of value. Especially Luz was good at playing the amazed, wide-eyed child while scheming and strategizing her next move.
She was in her element.
The child snuck in between carriages to appear seemingly out of nowhere next to unsuspecting travelers who were wealthier than most, quickly sneaking her nifty fingers into their pockets and bags to grab belongings, mostly money, and some jewelry.
Gus was looking up to his sister and tried to mimic each one of her little tricks and quick movements, even if he was still a little wobbly and less elegant than the older girl. He managed to pickpocket some witches and demons, though, even if Luz once caught him stealing from a less rich-looking demon and pushed him to attract their attention and lie about their pouch falling from their pocket.
Eda had to snicker at that, shaking her head.
Even if she was a thief, Luz still had her very developed sense of justice and she wouldn’t let Gus steal from someone who didn’t have any reserves to fall back to.
That was something Eda had taught them as a little way to feel better about herself teaching kids to steal.
And luckily, Luz had caught on quickly and was teaching Gus in her place. Smiling, she observed as her children bickered among themselves, before Gus took the pouch and snuck it back into the pockets of the unsuspecting demon, not daring to attract their attention or give them their money back while risking eye contact.
Occasionally, both her children came running back to her and emptied their loot into her pocket dimension which she carried at her hips, before running off again to try and make more where that came from.
While her children did the job, Eda didn’t dare give into her urge to help them. She looked like a knight and eyes were on her at all times, she couldn’t afford to get caught in the act.
Her sword and armor attracted to many stares and too many demons could be observing her doing shady stuff, so she wouldn’t think of pickpocketing.
Not even when King joined the kids on their shenanigans, nudging Luz’s hand as if to ask her what he could do. After Luz explained a plan to him, the wolf pup would jump to action and act like a wounded puppy or a happy one, to pull some gazes while Luz and Gus would empty the pockets of the wealthy.
Humming, Eda kept her hand on the hilt of her sword, her gaze wandering over the plains and the far away forests just before Bonesborough. It was midday and the sun had risen to a more tolerable level so that she didn’t have to blink against the low rays anymore.
The fog had lifted completely now and she could see the workers on the fields, as well as some villages down the roads that left the main one, or some farms that lied in the middle of nowhere, only to be reached over a dirt path. She had picked up one of Luz’s odd melodies, the tune playing in her head over and over again, and she annoyedly asked herself where the kid always got these catchy melodies.
Shaking her head, she stared ahead.
There, between the dark lines of the forest on the horizon, she could make out Bonesborough. The city had only gotten bigger since the last time Eda had seen it, even if the landmarks stayed the same. She saw the big library building, the town hall, and some other, taller buildings like the famous dome of the roofed market.
Sighing in annoyance, Eda only found dread returning to her birthplace.
Quite in contrary, her kids were delighted to finally see the city in all its glory. The sheer abundance of houses impressed them, the seemingly endless spread of roofs over the valley they were overlooking. The bigger buildings were something of a treasure hunt for them, one finding a bigger and more beautiful building than the other and pointing these out to their sibling. King excitedly barked at their side every time they squeaked in joy at the possibilities they could have in this city.
Luz couldn’t believe her eyes when she stared over Bonesborough.
She had never seen a city that big, with houses everywhere, markets, noises, inns, and taverns, more than she could count from the distance, but widely visible due to their raised roofs and most times colorful appearances. The city was gigantic.
There was a wall she could see surrounding it, standing tall in a protective manner, and as far as she could tell, it was guarded as well. She had never seen anything as well protected as this city.
And all these buildings!
There was a big one with a colorful window as it looked like, and a big roof, bigger than she had ever seen. She hadn’t even known a building could be bigger than an inn, but even the houses sometimes left the biggest she had seen in their shadows. There were mansions sprinkled through the area, big, gigantic palaces of wealth and pride. Some were white-clad in marble, some others were big wooden manors, with windows and gardens and even some springs. Luz hadn’t seen many windows in her life, but with the angle of the sun, some reflected into her eyes. The hill they were standing on, still, a few hours away by foot from the big city, gave her a good overview and she could even see some windows that were being opened and closed this second.
She had never seen that much wealth piled up on top of each other.
With a start, she realized Eda had already gone ahead, with Gus and King, and she quickly shook the stupor off to follow her little family down the hill, towards the biggest collection of wondrous things she had ever seen.
There were some domes, some houses suspended in the air by curious-looking arms, some hills here and there, a lot of bridges to suspend over the multiple odd gaps, and a lot to see. She could make out a building a little to the side that had a big eye in the middle of one of its towers, as well as some double-towered buildings, higher and higher than she could have ever imagined, some roofs even blinking in other colors to attract attention from afar.
Some streets were visible, crowded, and full of life, and she couldn’t wait to finally mingle with the folks down there, to mix herself into the crowds and see as many different people as she could, to observe and learn and maybe even find one like herself, with brown skin and round ears and no magical abilities. Well, except the little illuminated pendant that she was wearing.
Reaching up to her shirt she still found it dangling around her neck, as she had left it, and a strange reassurance that she wouldn’t lose it washed over her.
She wouldn’t.
It was bound to her spirit and she would never lose it, she was sure, no matter how small it was and no matter how much she would shake herself.
Smiling, she caught up with Eda, Gus, and King again and allowed herself a moment of relief when she took Eda’s hand, to be guided through the road without having to take her eyes off the city.
It was magnificent, seeing this spectacle in front of her.
There was a stadium in the distance, and she could only imagine the cheers and the sheer noise that would wash over the city whenever there was a tournament.
Judging by the colorful tents next to the stadium, there would be one or one that had just ended. Though Eda had actually told her that tournaments in the Bonesborough stadium rarely ended, they rather continued endlessly, one after the other, even if that had been before the war. She didn’t know how it was now, that most knights were at the front, but Luz supposed Bonesborough knew no boredom.
When she let her gaze run further, she spotted some other buildings which she didn’t know the meaning of, but for such a big city, they looked important. She supposed a lot of official stuff was going on there.
There were buildings as tall as mountains, she thought, with big windows and colorful drawings on the side that shone over the lands, telling stories of ancestors which held great importance to the people of the Boiling Isles.
Humming, she looked more to the side and finally spotted the biggest landmark of Bonesborough.
It was a gigantic palace, a castle of sorts, with a lot of towers and banners and decorated in the most precious things. The spires were blinking golden in the sunlight and Luz didn’t doubt they were probably made of gold for real.
She saw a big entrance, a huge gateway that was big enough to have a whole Owl House walking through it, she was sure. It was opened, currently, and some little demons and witches passed through it, looking like ants from the distance.
Eda had told her that the King of Abomin lived there and ruled their kingdom from this castle. His name was Darius and she remembered Eda telling her on a rainy night with a lot of thunder that Luz was scared of, that she had met him twice, once when she had pledged her loyalty to him as a young knight when she had been of age, and one other time ready to be sent off to the front of the war.
She had described him as a tall man, a young king whose father had died early and left him the throne, of a strong statue and a steady stance, a ruler fit for a kingdom as beautiful and powerful as this one.
Luz could only dream of meeting him once since she was a common thief. She could probably see him in one of his processions through the crowds on festive days, though, as Eda had told her.
If there was something Luz really wanted, besides being a knight, it was meeting the king of their kingdom.
The castle was practically shining in the sunlight and she could only imagine he would be shining the same. For a second, she wondered for how long he had already been king, and for how long his family had already been ruling. Would they take squires?
Maybe she could become a royal knight!
The daydreams made it hard to walk, but luckily for her, Eda was there to catch her every time she was falling over a pebble on the side of the road, while she was caught up in a dream about wielding a sword, wearing the royal crest, charging into battle on a horse and winning the war for her king. Maybe he would be so grateful, he would make Eda a knight again. Because Luz had thought long and hard about Eda leaving the army and she had decided that she found it impossible that Eda had done that on her own terms.
And maybe he would pay her enough, as a decorated war hero, for her to stop stealing.
It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, because she did enjoy the anticipation and the excitement of pickpocketing and stealing, but she had other plans for her future, that was for sure. Her gaze wandered back over Bonesborough, away from the giant castle that was blinding to look at, as magnificent as it was built, and her eyes caught onto the building with the big, round, colorful window in the middle of the city. Before she could even ask what it was, she had stretched out a finger and Eda recognized what she meant, smiling down at her.
She explained to her that that was the library and as a young squire, she had studied there. There and in the big building to the other side of Bonesborough, the one with the eye in one of its towers.
That’s why Eda could read and write and knew a lot of things about history and politics.
Luz yearned to study there.
She could be learning about so much, there was so much knowledge that she was excited to suck up and internalize. How did the world come to be?
How many different species of demons were there?
Who had ruled before King Darius and who had implemented certain rules and guidance?
Where did taxes go, something weird Eda refused to pay, and how did the farmers know when to plant what?
Her head was spinning with all the questions she knew Eda would have the answer to, but she wouldn’t want to bother her too much. She could get very grumpy if annoyed and Luz didn’t want to risk being cared for.
Setting out on a new path is always tenuous, and you arrive at Singer Performance Horses with more than a little uncertainty about your new job as an apprentice. But when you receive a less-than-warm welcome from the head trainer, things seem insurmountably difficult. Can you prove your worth and establish a place for yourself? Or will you pack up and head home empty-handed?
Part 1: Coming Soon!
If you’d like to know more about the setting for this series, I’d recommend watching “Down the Fence” on Netflix. It will give you insight into the world of reining cow horses as well as some incredible horsemen and horsewomen - aka real life cowboys.
It’s been four months since Harry lost his memory. Four months of dead ends and no answers. With time running out until his memories are gone for good, Harry agrees to a course of Legilimency therapy with a renowned specialist: Mind Healer Draco Malfoy.
There was something intriguing about him. Something in the way he spoke to Harry – none of that obsequious deference that most of the experts Harry met had shown. Instead, he had quiet confidence and a blunt honesty that Harry couldn’t help but like. It didn’t hurt that he bickered easily with Hermione, which Harry associated with Ron, and home, and comfort.
Excuse me, Harry associating Draco’s banter with Ron’s is everything I need in life, pls and thank I read this gorgeous and creative fic a couple days ago (my first 50k in weeks!) and the idea was to take a few breaks between chapters but I got completely obsessed with the perfect little universe @fluxweeed created here and I had to binge it right away. What a fantastic take on amnesia and Legilimency! I’m quite particular about these 2 tropes but I had a blast following Harry’s journey to recover his memories. This new/old Harry is so charming: witty, bold, 100% confident in his sexuality and completely gone for Draco. Their dynamics are charged, sweet and believable; despite the mutual attraction, they remain very true to their characters which I really appreciated. I love how the initial tension becomes easy banter, then slowly develop into trust and love (ignoring Draco’s bad attempts at professionalism lol). The mind healing sessions are incredibly creative and immersive with striking settings, great dialogue and many well thought details that sucked me right into the story (and their heads). All of that written in an honest, organic and sensitive way. I also love Harry’s dynamics with Ron and Mione; it’s interesting to see how his detachment from the war affects their friendship, and the author did a great job showing the inevitable confrontation but also reminding us of the ways they care for each other, and that they’re mature enough to think things through, reach out and apologize. Finally, you may be wondering if there’s any Legilimency-related smut and the answer is YES there’s a delicious, scorching hot and public pub scene that made me wanna reach into the screen and smash their cocks heads together. Goodness, what a ride. Brilliant plot and characterization, gorgeous slow burn and a very satisfying ending. Treat yourself!
Author:vyduan Pairing: Kim Seokjin | Reader, Kim Namjoon | Kim Seokjin Genre: romance, comedy, light angst, friends to lovers, slow burn, polyamory, polyfidelity Word Count:~12.3k Rating: Mature, 18+ Warnings: swearing, legal consumption of alcohol, mentions of legal consumption of THC edibles, mentions of a bad come down from said THC edibles, discussion of polyamory, light discussions of incest, navigation of polyamory boundaries, light mentions of coming out to family, a lot of references to famous twins, general absurdity, and terrible jokes [AO3]
Summary: Jin is in love with both Y/N and Namjoon – and they might love him back. One small problem: Y/N and Namjoon are twins.
Notes: There is no incest or sex (explicit or otherwise) portrayed in this fic.
Also, minus the Namjoon being my twin part, being in a poly relationship, and the Jin being in love with me part, a high percentage of this fic is ripped from my actual life. MAKE OF IT WHAT YOU WILL.
“Y/N?” he replies, voice muffled and soft with sleep. “You’re lucky I left the ringer on.”
“I took the wrong train hooooommmmmeeeee and Joonie won’t pick up because he is awful and asleep and doesn’t care about meeeeeeeeeeee~~~! Can you come get me at the stop by your house?”
You try to speak quietly because you really don’t need the entire train car to know your business but also, you’re a really poor gauge of volume at the moment due to the fact that you are slightly inebriated.
“How’d you get on the wrong train anyway?” Jin grumbles.
“I used up all my brain cells going into the city and interviewing people and then I could not brain after.” You frown when you hear Jin choke back a laugh. “Oh, wait. Brain means something else.”
“You’re something else,” he teases. “Could you brain before?”
“Jinnie!” You don’t know why you’re so in your feelings tonight. You’re sure you would have cracked up if you were your normal self but at the moment, it stings. “I swear I was on the right platform — but there are so many trains going out from there and I used to take this train all the time — or maybe I was supposed to transfer?”
Jin grunts in acknowledgment or maybe he’s chuckling at you. Either way, you feel judged. You hear shuffling in the background and some mumbled words and a response you don’t quite catch but seems to be in a woman’s register.
You ignore the smarting of your eyes and the ache in your chest. You’ve just been overserved is all. It’s really not worth overthinking now — or ever.
“Do you have company?” you pout. “I don’t want to bother you, Jinnie. I can take an Uber.”
He sighs. “You told me it cost $75 the last time you did this and that was years ago. I’m coming to pick you up.”
You frown and think real hard back to the stop you just passed. “I should be outside in about five to ten minutes?” You pause. “Can we make a stop for tacos, too? I would fuck those tacos up.”
“Y/N, it’s past 1am. Nothing is open.”
“I hate the ‘burbs,” you complain. “It’s the worst.”
“No, parking in SF is the worst. And so is not drinking because you have to drive home,” he says.
“Don’t be mean, Jinnie. I’m hungry and feel big dumb and I might need water.”
“I’ll have water for you in the car.”
“Thanks, Jinnie,” you breathe as you end the call.
A few really slow blinks later and you realize you’re at your stop and you barely make it out before the doors close and you’d have to shamefacedly call Jin again and ask him to meet you at the next BART stop down the line. You check the time on your phone as you text Jin that you’re on the way to the pickup area. You smile at the thumb’s up emoji he sends back.
It is 1:34am. You owe Jin big time.
You’re slightly more sober as you make your way to the curb and see the brief flash of Jin’s headlights.
“Hey, Squirt,” he says in way of greeting. His SUV echoes with his squeaky laugh when he catches the grimace on your face as he hands you a bottle of water.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?”
“What? It’s a term of endearment,” he snickers not unkindly.
You huff and stare out the window at the passing streetlights. “You ask a hypothetical question one time! One time!”
“Was it really hypothetical though?” Jin muses as he gets on the freeway. “I won’t judge you. It’s a natural bodily function and some people find it hella hot.”
Your face burns and you are grateful for the low light. “Don’t make it weird, Jinnie. I’ll tell Namjoon.”
This time, it is Jin who grimaces. “No need to bring your brother into it,” he grumbles. “Joon has no chill when it comes to you.”
You sigh. “No, he really doesn’t,” you agree. “I guess I can thank him for my perpetual state of singlehood.”
“Nah,” grins Jin as he reaches over and ruffles your hair. You struggle not to push into his hand. “You can thank yourself for that.”
“Why are you so mean to me tonight? I’m drunk and I’m sensitive.”
You sound petulant even to your own ears. It has nothing to do with who Jin was with before he came to you. It has nothing to do with how you could never betray Namjoon.
Jin is quiet for a bit and you close your eyes while leaning against the cool of the window.
“I’m sorry, Y/N-ah,” he finally says. “I’m glad you got on the wrong train.”
“Well, that’s a lie,” you grumble.
“How would you have driven home? You’re still tipsy!” Jin insists. “You’d be at the BART station in the middle of the night all alone. At least I’m only ten minutes away from this stop.”
“You would have stayed in the car with me until I was sober or picked me up, Jinnie,” you mumble sleepily. “If I called you, you would have come.”
“Just like that, huh? Am I your dog or something?” Jin’s words seem scolding but you can hear the affection in his voice.
You yawn as you fight to stay awake. “No, Jinnie. You would have come because you love me.”
You drift off to sleep before you can hear his response, but deep in your heart, you are certain he says, “I do.”
2.
“Y/N, wake up. You’re home,” Jin says.
You mumble a “go away” quickly followed by a “fuck off,” refusing to move.
Jin sighs, wiping a weary hand over his face. You are both getting too old for this — not that he is too old — just for this. He has an early 6:30am call and it’s already 2am. By the time he gets you inside and then drives back home it will be past 3.
He does not want to think about whether or not there will be an angry woman in his bed when he gets home and if he has to deal with that fallout. He does not know if he hopes Aeri has gone back to sleep, has stayed up waiting to fight with him, or if she has left for her own home.
He sighs again and gets out, rounding his car to your side. He opens the door, unbuckles your seatbelt, and forces you up, hooking one of your arms around his neck.
“Come on, Y/N,” he fusses, “work with me here. I could have sworn you were sobering up and weren’t that drunk.”
Your only response is a garbled “mmmph” but you at least seem to be roused enough to help him help you through your front door and then up the stairs after he helps remove your boots.
Jin doesn’t know how he always seems to be the one who gets roped into bailing you and your twin out of trouble all the time, but here he is yet again. You and Namjoon will be the death of him one day, but what is a little sleep deprivation among lifelong friends?
Plus, he never really had much of a choice in the matter. Your mothers were best friends and as soon as Jin’s older brother was old enough to ditch you three, Jin was stuck being the only one with enough sense to keep you twins alive. He always marveled at how two of the smartest humans he knew could be so stupid.
“You might not have regular working hours, Y/N, but I do,” he nags. “You might end up with a parking ticket, too, if you don’t wake up in time to drive your car home — although, I suppose as long as you don’t exceed the 24-hour limit, you should be —”
Ah, fuck. Jin abruptly shuts himself up. He can’t believe he’s lecturing you on BART parking policies in the middle of the night. He can’t believe he knows the BART parking policies in the middle of the night — or at all!
He really needs to rethink his life.
“Let’s get you changed, Y/N. Can’t have outside clothes on the bed — especially after sitting on BART.”
Jin shudders at the thought as he finds your pajamas tossed on top of a rather large pile of clothing on the comfy reading chair he is positive you haven’t sat in since you bought it as it usually holds all your clothes.
“Fuck!” he yells as he accidentally jams his pinky toe in your bed frame.
“Shhhhhh!” you hiss. “Don’t wake up Joonie, Jin.”
Oh no. He is not going to be lectured about proper nighttime behavior by you of all people. “If you could actually wake Namjoon up once he’s gone to sleep, I wouldn’t be here right now!” exasperates Jin.
You have only just pulled your pajamas on and your hair is a staticky mess. You peer up at him, eyes welling with tears. “I’m sorry, Jinnie,” you sniffle. “I didn’t mean to get on the wrong train.”
“Oh, baby,” he croons automatically as he pulls you into a hug. “You really are drunk aren’t you?”
“I was so nervous about the press junket — I got to interview Michelle Fucking Yeoh — and then I met up with some journalist friends after the premier and I swear I didn’t have that many,” you blubber into the crook of his neck, your hot breath whispering over his skin.
He ignores the shiver threatening to roll down his spine. “Come on, now. Let oppa take care of you.”
You must be really out of it for the “oppa” not to elicit some lecture about being in America and it being super cringe. You refuse to even call Namjoon “oppa,” and he legitimately is your older brother — albeit by seven minutes. Jin cannot tell if he’s secretly pleased or not. Definitely not.
He pulls back the covers on your bed and tucks you in. You look so soft and blurry that his heart twinges and he has to look away. There is no use in dwelling on what is not or cannot be.
“Sleep well, sweetheart,” he murmurs, only daring the endearment because he is certain you won’t remember it tomorrow.
3.
“Is she okay?” Aeri asks as Jin enters his kitchen. She is seated at his dining table and has all her things packed beside her.
“She’s asleep in her bed, safe and sound,” Jin replies wearily. He is too tired to do this.
“I can’t do this anymore, Jin,” she says softly. “You’re always leaving me to bail her out.”
“To be fair, I bail Joon out, too.”
“I suppose you do,” she concedes.
Jin pulls out a chair and slumps in its comforting sturdiness. “What would you have me do?”
“Let them figure out their own lives. Despite being the Disaster Twins, they are grown ups.”
“They would die spectacularly and my mother would never forgive me. How could I face my eomma if I didn’t keep the kids of her best friend alive in their absence?” Jin runs an exhausted hand through his dark locks. “Auntie would have never accepted that professor position at Seoul National University otherwise.”
Aeri huffs lightly. She is taking this rather well and Jin is both gratified and annoyed that he is gratified.
Jin prepares himself for the inevitable.
“We had fun for a few months, right?” she asks.
“We did,” he agrees.
Aeri rises and kisses him gently on the forehead before heading for his front door. “I’ll see you around, Jinnie.”
Aeri has actually been a little more understanding than most people he’s dated and he briefly regrets how it’s ending as he locks the door after her. He regrets that the prospect of her leaving doesn’t make more of an impact on him. That he would rather choose this perpetual limbo of picking up after you and Joon until each of you break his heart by falling in love with someone else.
He is a fool. He does not care.
4.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Namjoon worries after you tell him what happened.
“And how was I supposed to do that, Joonie?” you reply. “You could sleep through the apocalypse.”
He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. You aren’t wrong. “Okay, fair,” he says. He should know better than to argue with you, but you are still his baby sister and old habits are hard to break. “How did you get home?”
You hesitate. “Jin.”
He sees how you tamp down your obvious feelings for their old friend and feels a surge of kinship. He, too, knows how that goes. “That was nice of him,” he says.
“Yeah,” you reply glumly. “Can you take me to get my car now?”
Namjoon nods and grabs his wallet and keys from the kitchen counter and wonders why you sound so sad.
“Why are you brooding, Y/N?” he asks as he pulls out the driveway.
You scowl into the sunshine. “Who’s brooding?”
“Must we?” he sighs.
You sigh, too. “I have to write my review today. Do you have time to look it over? I think it should be fine, but I’m including interview quotes and want to make sure it’s not too clunky,” you say, changing the subject effectively.
“Yeah, sure. I’ve got time,” Namjoon replies, allowing you your dodge.
There is no way the two of you could be so close if neither of you let the other be. You’ll tell him eventually. You always do unless it is about Jin. You almost never tell him anything important about Jin. The two of you never say anything important about Jin.
“Maybe while I’m looking over your review, you can read mine about the Alice Neel exhibit at the De Young,” he suggests.
You chuckle. “I wonder how our outlets would feel if they knew they were getting both Kim twins for the price of one,” you say.
“They wouldn’t push back on my rates, that’s for fucking sure,” Namjoon replies. “I’m surprised they haven’t caught on. There was some line you slipped into my piece about contemporary Asian American artists to watch that should have been a dead giveaway.”
You grin. “You kept it though.”
“‘Course, Y/N,” he says. “We’re besties for resties.”
“WONDER KIMS ACTIVATE!” you crow as you hold out a fist for him to bump.
Namjoon smiles and complies, loving the spark sneaking back into your eyes. When he drops you off at the lot, he says, “I’m going to make a stop at Starbucks. Want me to bring back something for you?”
“Oooooh! Can you get me as large a Dragon Drink as humanly possible?” you request.
“No ice, I presume?” he confirms.
You shudder. “Of course, no ice. I refuse to pay for frozen water.”
“Right, right. How dare you pay for them to take up space where your actual drink should be,” Namjoon observes.
“And it’s just too cold! You know how I hate to be cold, Joonie.”
“We’ll just agree to disagree.”
You sigh dramatically. “This is something you’ll just never understand. You’re a walking heater.”
“Can’t help being so hot,” he quips back, gloating as you groan.
“Well, now you have to bring me back a chicken sausage breakfast sandwich, too.”
He grunts his acknowledgement and debates texting Jin his thanks as he waits for you to get in and start the car. Namjoon decides he doesn’t know if he can handle being teased by the older man this early in the morning. Instead, he salutes you when you drive off and then goes on his own way.
5.
“Hyung,” Namjoon starts but is immediately cut off.
“Oh, no. Don’t hyung me,” retorts Jin. “You only call me hyung when you want something from me and I’m all tapped out. I’m still suffering the consequences of dealing with your sister.”
“But, hyung,” Namjoon whines, “you told me that I wasn’t allowed to do any more home improvement projects without consulting you first.”
Namjoon knows he’s playing dirty, but he’s desperate.
Besides, his parents are technically paying Jin to manage their property because no matter how much they love you and Namjoon, they also know you both. The two of you are equally useless and aren’t called the Disaster Twins for nothing — which is why his parents actually entrusted Jin with the care and keeping of their home.
It would be more lowering if it didn’t provide Namjoon with the perfect built-in excuse to request Jin’s presence. Not that Namjoon ever really needs a reason, but sometimes, it is awfully convenient.
“What did you do, Namjoon?” Jin asks, his voice rising slightly higher in register.
Namjoon clears his throat. “Nothing? I promise I didn’t break anything?”
“Yet, you mean,” Jin mumbles under his breath and Namjoon knows he has him.
He lets the awkward silence stretch, allowing Jin to conjure up all the worst case scenarios.
Namjoon’s been trying to put together this standing desk for the last three hours and he has a lot of extra screws and parts and he’s pretty sure that’s not what’s supposed to happen. Also, he may have mixed up the pieces of his desk with his new chair and maybe a fancy end table that he was trying to assemble at the same time.
He cannot wait for this mess to be taken care of by the ever-capable Jin. He hears Jin sigh and allows himself a brief, unbecoming moment of gloating.
“Have you eaten yet?” Jin asks, resigned.
Namjoon smiles wide into his phone. “Not yet, hyung. Can you pick up some jjajangmyeon?” he asks as innocently as possible.
“You’re lucky I’m in a giving mood, Joon,” Jin says as he ends the call.
And then, just like magic, Jin shows up at his front door with dinner and boba about two hours later.
“Where’s Y/N?” asks Jin.
Namjoon’s gut swoops a bit. He tells himself that Jin is only asking because he likely brought enough food for three and not because Jin would prefer to see his twin instead of himself. He trusts Jin and their friendship enough to know that Jin genuinely enjoys being with him.
But sometimes, it smarts more than he expects and Namjoon has to work extra hard to believe that he and Jin have something special all on their own. The lies have been getting louder lately and he doesn’t know what that means.
“She’s out with friends,” Namjoon answers. “I think it’s someone’s birthday?”
Jin nods and as he passes through the living room, says, “Please do not tell me you consider building furniture ‘making home improvements.’”
“Um, kinda?” gulps Namjoon.
Jin sounds way too hot when he scolds and it’s too much — at least it is before he’s had sustenance. He frowns and his eyebrows furrow. Namjoon thinks he might actually be in trouble until Jin wipes a hand over his face in exasperation, letting the tension out with a long exhale.
“Alright. I guess we should eat if I want to finish this bullshit sometime in the next century.”
Jin’s eyes soften and Namjoon’s heart lights up. He is so fucked.
6.
“You’re an idiot,” Yoongi chides.
Jin bristles slightly but papers it over with a lopsided grin. He digs deep and dials up his nonchalance. “Aeri and I weren’t serious anyway,” he says. He does not see the matching flickers of hurt on your and Namjoon’s faces. “You know I don’t do serious.”
Yoongi lifts both judgmental eyebrows and purses his lips. “Well, that’s a fucking lie.”
“Name one.” Jin glares at Yoongi, daring him to continue.
Yoongi smirks and sets down his longneck beer. “I can name two: Tia and Tamera.”
Yoongi receives high-fives from the rest of their friends and Jin chances a glance at you and Namjoon. The two of you look as horrified as he feels.
Jin wants to murder Yoongi, except then he’d be down a best friend and also, he’s too pretty to go to prison. Except, when Hoseok opens his big, fat mouth, Jin is willing to risk it all and murder him, too.
“You know Yoongi ain’t lying,” Hoseok cracks. “The way that Jenna and Barbara Bush here have you by the fucking balls, Jin. It would be pathetic if it wasn’t so endearing.”
“And don’t they know it,” Jungkook agrees. “Assholes constantly take advantage of your heart boner for them. Just make it official already.”
“I don’t —”
“Wait, I’m Jenna, right?” you interject.
“That’s laughable, Y/N. Like you’d make it on ‘The Today Show,’” Namjoon argues.
Jin appreciates the two of you trying to deflect, but he needs you both to know that he’s not a creep.
“Don’t be ridiculous. They’re like my children,” Jin protests too loudly. “And you know I was talking specifically about romantic relationships.”
Jin’s heart thunders in his chest and he wonders how no one can see the way it pounds under his shirt. He is suddenly grateful for wearing a dark shirt so no one can see the sweat that must be staining his underarms.
“Oh, we’re aware,” Jimin leers. “Isn’t it every person’s fantasy to have a pair of hot twins as the ultimate flex? And here you have a wholeass Cole and Dylan Sprouse on each arm.”
Jin really wishes his friends would read the room and move on. They’re Korean, aren’t they? Where is everyone’s nunchi and why is no one exercising it?
“You don’t have to hide who you love, Jin,” Taehyung says quietly. “Do you think we wouldn’t support you?”
Jin panics.
Does everyone know his deepest, darkest secret? Do you and Namjoon know, too, and have just been too polite to ever say anything?
He does not dare look at either of you. Not now.
“You all think you’re so fucking clever, don’t you?” he grates out. “I practically raised The Barbi Twins and now you’re making me out to be a pervert or something. I deserve better than this.”
Jin pushes back from the table, gets up, and reaches into his wallet to throw down a bunch of twenties.
“Don’t go, Jinnie,” you say.
You are putting on a brave front. Jin knows because he can see the slight tremble in your plush lips and your dimples are nowhere to be found in your strained smile. Jin watches as Namjoon wraps an arm protectively around you and says nothing. He sucks in his cheeks and Jin knows Joon is pissed.
He has to leave.
“I’m no longer in the mood to be social,” he spits.
Jin refuses to make eye contact with any of his worthless friends and makes the 45 minute drive home in alternating waves of despair and fury.
He does not answer any texts or calls for the next two weeks — even if they’re from you or Namjoon. Jin doesn’t know if he can ever show his face again.
7.
“What the fuck, Yoongi?” snarls Namjoon at the same time you growl, “Was that really necessary?”
Namjoon’s heart aches and his stomach won’t stop churning. The horror written all over Jin’s face at even the idea of being in a relationship with either him or his twin is still fresh in his mind. He reaches for and squeezes your hand. You must be devastated.
“You okay?” he asks you quietly.
You sniff a watery sniff. “It’s nothing I didn’t already know — although, I had hoped that you, at least, had a chance.”
“The lot of you are fucking idiots,” Yoongi comments. “And quite frankly, I’m sick of it.”
“It’s been years of this bullshit,” Hoseok agrees.
“Imagine how I feel! I’ve known Jin since kindergarten and have had to witness this fucking ridiculous pageantry for decades. That’s right. Decades. Plural,” Yoongi continues.
“You’re severely mistaken.” Namjoon tries to keep the fury from his tone, but he is still too shaken. He is distraught. He wants to go home but he powers through for you.
Yoongi scoffs. “You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? This way, the two of you can continue to ignore the discomfort of being in love with the same man as well as the inherent squick factor of considering a polyamorous relationship with said man because you are siblings — not to mention twins.” Yoongi doesn’t even try to wipe the smug look off his face. “Do I have it about right?”
You are near tears and Namjoon is about to get into a fight with one of his best friends.
“No. Not even remotely. I’m not in love with Jin — and even if I were, he’s not in love with me,” you say. You glance at Namjoon meaningfully.
Namjoon wants to disagree because he’s seen how Jin treats you — how he’s always treated you — like you’re the most precious person in the room. He remembers how when you were all kids and Jin kept beating the two of you at rock, paper, scissors and you started crying. Jin told you to believe in yourself and to try again. From that moment on, he would alternate winning and losing rounds with you. He lost to no one else.
Jin still only loses to you at rock, paper, scissors. He’s gotten subtler at rigging the wins, but he still does so nonetheless.
No. You are also severely mistaken. Jin definitely loves you but likely doesn’t want to hurt Namjoon’s feelings. And so, Namjoon feels anew all the guilt of getting in the way of your happiness. And yet, he also cannot bear getting out of the way.
“You know, we say this all the time and yet, it bears repeating,” Jimin says. “You two are the stupidest geniuses we know.”
“And what do you know about it, Jimin?” says Namjoon, rounding on a new target. His heart still feels tender and there hasn’t been enough time for him to recover.
“Look, we’re not trying to be assholes —”
“It’s just effortless —”
“Joon —”
“No, Y/N. I want to hear more from our friends how they’re not trying to be assholes and yet are managing to be assholes anyway.” Namjoon fumes and doesn’t try to rein in his mouth. “We’re not characters in some tragicomic love story. You can’t just push us all together and say ‘now kiss’ and poof! Happily ever after!”
“Isn’t that exactly what you do to your characters in your novels?” Jungkook challenges. At Namjoon’s questioning look, he adds, “What? I read your books — I like romance novels. The gayer the better.”
“I set things up a bit better than that!” Namjoon complains.
“You absolutely do, hyung. Your tropes are well done,” he ingratiates.
Namjoon resists the urge to preen. “Stop distracting me by playing into my ego!”
“So it’s working?”
Jungkook flashes his bunny teeth in delight. Namjoon wishes the younger man isn’t so adorable and feels some of his outrage gutter out.
“Maybe.”
“Look, perhaps Yoongi could have broached the topic in a better way,” Taehyung starts. “And yes, you three aren’t pawns in some scripted poly love triangle — you’re real people with thoughts and feelings of your own.”
“Yes, so why don’t we leave me and Joonie and our individual feelings alone,” you interrupt.
Yoongi snorts. “Yeah, cuz that’s been working out so well.”
Taehyung glares at everyone. “As I was saying, we just want you three to know that there isn’t anything wrong with how you feel. That we support you and are rooting for you. That your desires are valid.”
“It’s moot anyway,” you say sadly. Namjoon wants to hug you but refrains. He knows if he does, you’ll start crying and then you’ll never forgive him. “You heard him. He doesn’t ‘do serious.’ And he certainly doesn’t ‘do serious’ with me or Namjoon.”
Jimin sighs audibly. “Whether you choose to use your fucking genius brains or not is up to you.” He holds out his hand to forestall the protest bubbling out of Namjoon’s throat. “But regardless of what you believe, you two need to figure out what you want and what your boundaries are about Jin. This whole pretend you don’t know when you do is exhausting — and we’re not even the ones going through it. We’re just the assholes who have to watch the trainwreck unfold in slow motion.”
Namjoon tries to catch your eye but you are now refusing to look at him, too. If he is honest with himself, he knows his friends are correct — even if they have shitty execution and implementation.
He is tired. Tired of hiding. Of lying to himself and to everyone else. Of lying to you.
Namjoon is tired of never saying anything important about Jin.
8.
“You wanna talk about it?” you ask when you and Namjoon get home.
“Not really,” your brother replies. “Maybe tomorrow when we’re less emotional?”
You know Namjoon is right. All you will do now is cry and that’s not useful. Particularly since Namjoon will capitulate and give you whatever you want when you do — a weakness you do not wish to exploit in regards to someone as important as Jin.
“Okay,” you start to say before you choke up.
Namjoon’s face falls. “Hey, hey. Come here,” he says with his arms wide open.
You go to your twin and let him hug you, grateful for his constant, steady presence. He pats your head, smoothing over your hair. You are suddenly reminded of a home video of when you were preschoolers that you used to watch all the time when you went off to university and missed Namjoon.
You took the last mandu and noticed Namjoon — whose head was stuck in a book even then — grabbing blindly with his chopsticks for another one. You looked down at your dumpling and back at Namjoon and then put it back onto the plate for your older brother to take. When he finally nabbed that elusive mandu, he plopped it into your bowl without even once looking up.
You stared at the proffering for a few stunned moments. A dimpled grin broke over your face and you leaned in to kiss Namjoon on the cheek. He blushed and tilted his head to knock into yours fondly. You bit the mandu in half and gave him the rest, to his great surprise and joy.
It is one of your favorite memories.
You wonder why your brain thought to supply your hurting heart with that soothing balm but are too weary to connect the dots. Instead you squeeze Namjoon one more time and say, “Goodnight, Joonie.”
“Goodnight, Y/N,” he replies and kisses you on the crown of your head. “We’ll chat in the morning, okay?”
“Okay.”
You try to shush your already overactive brain as you get ready for bed but it is uncooperative. You send Jin a number of texts checking on him and worrying about him, but he does not respond. Your brain is also uncooperative at not freaking out about that, too.
Here’s the thing. It’s not that you think your friends are wrong exactly. You definitely think they’re onto something about Jin being in love with Namjoon.
You’ve seen all the pristine copies of your brother’s romance novels on Jin’s shelves and how he glows with pride whenever Namjoon goes on and on about some esoteric art thing or other. You notice the way the tips of Jin’s ears flush red when Namjoon compliments or thanks Jin for taking care of him all the time.
You have not, however, allowed yourself until now to think of the possibility that Jin could also be in love with you.
You do not want to believe it.
Yoongi is right.
The whole situation is messy.
Regardless of who loves who back, you and Namjoon are due for some hard and honest conversations about what it means to be in love with the same man. As your mind runs itself ragged over all the what-ifs and worst-case scenarios, you briefly allow yourself a moment to consider what you would ideally want.
You fall asleep and dream of mandu.
9.
“You’re a coward,” Namjoon says to himself.
Part of him feels as if he should defend himself — that he’s being too self-critical — but he has no defense. Otherwise, why would he be sneaking out of his house before you’re awake with only a text about how he forgot about a meeting with his agent — which isn’t untrue, exactly — even though he promised to discuss the whole Jin situation today?
And then, well, he just loses track of time.
He loses track of time on various Berkeley trails which happen to have spotty cellular service. When he finally comes back to civilization, he purposely turns off his phone and buys a ticket for “Everything Everywhere All At Once,” the latest movie you had reviewed — the one with Michelle Yeoh — and just lets the visuals and ideas overwhelm his senses as tears run down his face in the dark.
After the movie, he has so many thoughts and feelings that he heads to his favorite cafe and spends hours journaling and purging all the big ideas swirling around in his brain until closing. He grabs a sandwich and a drink and then drives up to Grizzly Peak and parks, content to watch the city lights of the Bay Area from the hood of his car.
Namjoon doesn’t know why he’s in such a mood.
Okay, that is a lie. He knows.
Namjoon is in love with Jin. He has never known a time without Jin being in his life, and Namjoon doesn’t know when his love for the older man changed from that of a younger brother to that of a man in love with another man.
Jin was there when Namjoon was figuring out his identity and coming to terms with being gay. Jin was there when Namjoon came out to his parents, who thanks to Jin coming out a few years prior, were pretty fucking awesome for Korean parents. Jin was there for Namjoon’s first heartbreak and first Grindr adventures. Jin was everything to Namjoon.
Jiniseverything.
Except, Namjoon knows Jin is not everything to just him and he is afraid.
Who falls in love with the same man as their twin and then shares him? Is that incestuous? Is that not just asking for trouble? What happens if they — in any configuration — do not last? Will Namjoon not only lose Jin — will he lose you, too?
He wants so much — but it seems impossible. He cannot see a way out.
10.
“You’re avoiding me, Joonie,” you say a few days later. You know it isn’t fair to corner him before he’s had his coffee but desperate times and all that.
Namjoon’s eyes shift guiltily. “I —” You cut your eyes at him and he quickly changes tack. “I am,” he admits.
“I want you to be happy,” you say. “And I want me to be happy — and most of all, I want Jin to be happy.”
Namjoon nods. “I know.”
“But, I don’t think any of us actually are.”
Namjoon nods again.
“I know you love him. That you’ve loved him for a long time — maybe longer than I have — in that way, I mean,” you start.
“Is that what we’re calling it? ‘In that way’?” your brother chuckles gently. “You sure you’re ready for this conversation?” he adds in that low rumble of his.
You’re not at all ready but you know you must and so you forge ahead. “Maybe we need soju,” you say.
“In vino veritas?”
“Something like that.”
“It’s 8:42 in the morning,” Namjoon observes.
“And your point? Isn’t that the best part about being freelance writers? We do whatever the fuck we want,” you reason.
“Should we get brunch then?”
You pause. There are merits to being in public: much less chance of making a scene in the event of a major disagreement. (Not that either of you are prone to making scenes.) However, the conversation feels too intimate, too vulnerable. You are worried people will overhear and judge.
“What if people overhear us?” you ask.
Your brother shrugs. “Who the fuck are they to me?”
He does have a point. “Very well. Let’s go get me some Bellinis and avocado toast.”
“You are such a fucking millennial.”
“We’re literally twins.”
“And yet, you choose to consume something as revolting as the avocado. Like, why do you even like it? It makes me mad,” Namjoon rants.
“I am aware,” you reply, a smile ghosting your lips. “And yet, it’s still delicious.”
“You like mint chocolate chip ice cream, too. Like, just eat toothpaste already.”
“Are you done?”
“No, I’m just getting started,” Namjoon gripes. “But I suppose you already know my arguments — though you remain a heathen.”
“It’s not my fault your arguments aren’t sound,” you rejoin. “You have no taste.”
The two of you bicker good-naturedly until you hit your favorite brunch spot. It briefly occurs to you that perhaps you should have chosen a new place in case today’s conversation doesn’t go well, but you are determined to be optimistic. You are sure you and your brother can be brave and honest for once about Jin.
“Did you want to start?” Namjoon asks after the server has taken your order.
You look at Namjoon carefully. You know how your brother is. He tends to yield to your wants and needs because he takes those seven minutes he has on you very seriously. He’s sweet that way and so you say, “No. I want to know what you really think and want without it being colored by what I want.”
Namjoon frowns. “I’m not spineless.”
“I didn’t say you were, Joonie,” you assuage. “You are kind and thoughtful and considerate and you want me to be happy even when it’s to your detriment.” You reach out to squeeze his hand. “I want to honor your wants and desires, too, Joonie. You are important to me.”
Namjoon flushes a little and toys with his utensils. He inhales a deep calming breath and you think anew that your brother is a good man. It is ironic that even though he clearly doesn’t want to go first, he is doing so out of deference to you wanting to defer to him. It’s convoluted but that’s how you two are sometimes.
“I love him, Y/N,” Namjoon says. He squirms and plays with the silver rings adorning his long fingers. “And it’s hard for me to talk about this because I think Jin knows — but he actually loves you — and I’m in the way.”
“How could you possibly be in the way?” you ask.
He huffs. “Because I’m so obvious. He must know that I love him and he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” you reply brusquely. “You would never be in the way. As if you could possibly prevent Jin from doing whatever he wanted. If he hasn’t made a move on me, it’s because he doesn’t want to make a move on me.”
“Well, then by your logic, that must also mean he doesn’t want to make a move on me,” Namjoon replies.
“Oh,” you say as your face falls. “True.”
You sip on your Bellini as Namjoon sips on his Americano.
“But what if —” you start then stop. You gather your courage. “What if he does love you? And he is afraid that you do not love him back?”
“That’s not the case —”
“I didn’t say it was fact — just a hypothetical.” You are determined. “What if he does love you? Or if not love, is interested in dating you?”
Namjoon sips his Americano again for something to do. Longing and pain cross your twin’s handsome features. “I — I don’t know.”
“Why wouldn’t you be with him if you could be?” you press.
“But what about you?”
“What about me?” you lob back. “We’re talking about you. I’m a big girl. If Jin doesn’t love me back, I would be sad, but I would get over it. And I would be happy for you.”
“Would you though? How could you not hate me?” Namjoon asks.
“If it were reversed, would you hate me?”
“Of course not.”
“Well, then. Of course I would not hate you,” you say.
Namjoon shakes his head. “As if it is that simple.”
“Why can’t it be that simple?” You shrug. “I don’t know if that means I don’t love Jin enough, or love you more than I love Jin, or that it means something else altogether.” You pause as the server brings your avocado toast and Namjoon’s chicken fried steak. “It’s everything all at once, I guess.”
“Like the movie?” Namjoon jokes.
“I guess. Kinda.”
“How so?”
“Well, take for instance Yoongi’s theory that Jin is actually in love with both of us,” you say as you vigorously try to attack the avocado toast. You briefly wonder why they can’t do you a solid and pre-slice the bread and then you remember that you have hands and can just lift the toast to your mouth.
“A spurious theory, but okay,” says Namjoon, “I’ll play along.”
“Why can’t he love us both? Maybe that’s what has prevented him from doing anything about it all these years — he doesn’t know who to choose. But why does he have to choose if we both love him back?” you muse. “Why can’t we be open to all the possibilities?”
Namjoon looks distinctly uncomfortable. “Isn’t that like borderline incest?”
You put down your silverware. “Look, some twins or siblings are okay with having threesomes with varying levels of sexual contact between them. I am not one of those people.”
“I didn’t think you would be, but I’m glad we’re on the same page for that.”
“Well, I’m glad incest is off the table,” you crack.
“So then, what? We share Jin as a boyfriend? How does that even work? You have him on even days and I have him on odd days?” wonders Namjoon.
“He’s a person, not property. And I’m sure we’d figure it out so no one feels left out or neglected — but don’t we already do that?” you ask. “Wouldn’t it sort of be like it is now except with the additional element of sex?”
“Would it be an open relationship? Are we polyfidelitous?”
“I would not want to date other people, and I think I would be upset if Jin dated someone other than you. If you want to date other people, that would be something you and Jin discuss, right? Like, I would be okay with that since I’m not dating you. But you would have to use protection since obviously, what you do affects me.”
You shake your head. This is a little more complicated than you originally thought, but it doesn’t seem disastrous yet.
“I don’t want to date anyone other than Jin,” Namjoon says. “And I would also not like it if Jin dated anyone other than you.”
“He’s like that last mandu: if we’re lucky, he’ll let us both eat him.” You snort all of a sudden. “I don’t think this is what eomma and appa meant when they told us to share.”
“I suppose not,” laughs Namjoon. “Their own fault for not being more specific.”
You and Namjoon laugh for longer than his quip warrants, but you are just relieved that the conversation is proceeding as you had hoped.
“I guess all that remains is talking to Jin and seeing what he wants?” you mention finally.
“Yeah, I guess so.” Namjoon’s face immediately turns serious. “That would probably be easier to do if he was returning any of my calls or texts.”
“Same,” you reply. And then, you have an idea.
“What?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
Namjoon raises an eyebrow. “You don’t need to. What sort of diabolical plan is going through your head right now, Y/N?”
“Don’t you think it’s time we paid imo a visit?”
Namjoon just shakes his head. “No fair using the man’s own mother against him.”
“You want us to get our man or not, Joonie?”
For the first time in a while, Namjoon seems lighter. You are hopeful that once you talk to Jin — even if the outcome is that he loves neither of you romantically — that at least you can all move on, whatever that looks like.
You are confident (perhaps unwarrantedly) that the three of you will navigate this new phase. After all, did you not all survive the horror that was Jin in his Nickelback phase? You shudder at the memory. Surely if your relationships emerged through that time of tribulation mostly unscathed, you could withstand anything.
11.
“Eomma!” Jin calls as he enters his parents’ house.
“I’m in the kitchen,” his mother calls back, “and what did I say about yelling in the house?”
Jin resists the urge to roll his eyes, hugging and kissing his mother instead. “Yes, eomma,” he says obediently.
He watches his mother putter around, washing and cutting fruit for the table. His mother has gone all out. The table is full of banchan, buchujeon, gimbap, and gamja jorim.
He narrows his eyes. “Eomma, why is there so much food? I thought you wanted me to come over for something urgent. You said something about a leak?”
“Ah, Seokjin-ah,” his mother says as she pats his cheek. “Turns out I just didn’t turn the faucet tight enough.”
Jin’s suspicions are immediately roused. “I told you I don’t want you to set me up with any more of your friend’s kids, eomma. I’m not interested.”
She cuts him a sly glance and he is not reassured. “Oh, I have a feeling you won’t mind so much.”
He gears himself to leave even though that would be unconscionably rude to his mother. He still hasn’t recovered from when Yoongi ambushed him about you and Namjoon. Every time Jin closes his eyes, he sees the revulsion on both your faces and thus, he has done the cowardly thing and refuses to answer any of his friends’ texts or well-meaning calls.
Jin just doesn’t have it in him to deal with his mother and the poor sap she and her friends have roped into this situation.
“Imo, are we late? We brought samgyeopsal from that place you like!”
Jin’s stomach drops when he hears your bright and cheerful voice. It takes all his self-control to stay put and not immediately flee.
“You’re right on time, Y/N,” his mother answers. “I’m almost done and then I’m off to the movies with Yoongi’s mother.”
“What did you do, eomma?” Jin hisses. He is so close to snapping that he cannot control himself.
His mother stops in her tracks and turns to him. “Jinnie, I want you to know that you are a good son.” The look on her face is strangely kind. “I love every part of you — even the parts you think you have to hide because you worry that your appa and I won’t approve.”
Jin feels unexpectedly naked. His parents are uncommonly supportive and he knows he is so very, very lucky. “Eomma,” he chokes out. “What — what brought this on?”
His mother hugs him right when you and Namjoon enter the kitchen. She whispers, “Follow your heart, Jinnie. You are so full of love — it’s about time you get all the love you deserve, too.”
Then she pats him on the cheek and heads to give you and Namjoon hugs of your own.
“Be good, children,” she says as she unties and then hangs up her apron. She winks at Jin and then she’s gone.
Jin swallows. He cannot bring himself to properly greet either of you. He notes that you and Namjoon have picked up on his distress and are now unsure of how to greet him.
“Jin? Are you okay?” you ask.
“I’m fine,” he wheezes. “I — what are you doing here?”
Namjoon’s eyes flick nervously to you. “Don’t be mad, Jinnie,” he cajoles. “It was Y/N’s idea — and you know how I can’t say ‘No’ to her.”
“Traitor,” you scowl. “And why would Jinnie be mad?” you brazen. “He should be ecstatic that he gets to see us on an unexpected Saturday afternoon after being deprived of our company for — what is it now? Three weeks?”
Namjoon sends Jin an apologetic shrug.
“I was busy,” Jin rasps. “I have a life without you, you know.”
“But what a sad life that is, Jinnie,” you snark. “We’re the twin stars of your life: your Pollux and Castor, your Kiki and Lala.”
“I have no idea who those people are,” Jin sighs.
Namjoon laughs, his dimples out in devastating force. “How do you still not know? Y/N tells this joke all the time.”
“You think I listen to her? She talks so much!” Jin throws back, grateful for the familiar rhythm.
“Why are you both so mean to me? Just for that, I’m eating all the pork belly.” You pout and Jin’s heart catches.
“As if that’s anything new,” Jin says. “I’ve known you your whole damn life and not once have you not hogged all the samgyeopsal.”
Namjoon holds out a fist for a bump and Jin is again grateful for the normalcy. He does not know how long it will last, but he will take it. The three of you bicker and settle into familiar beats as you all start digging into the bounty before you.
When you all have eaten your fill — and you indeed hoard all the pork belly — the prickling unease returns with a vengeance and he can sense the hidden agenda from a mile away. Jin doesn’t know how to deal and so he decides that he cannot live this half-life any longer.
“Either of you want to tell me what the hell this is all about?” he utters hoarsely. “Not that I’m not happy to see you.”
Namjoon snorts. “Right. You seem real happy about it.”
“It’s the second ambush in a month so you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t seem thrilled.” Jin doesn’t mean for his words to come out so bitter, but his tongue moves of its own accord.
He is so tired.
“We’re in love with you,” you and Namjoon say at the same time.
“What?” Of all the things he expects to hear, that is not it, and especially not in stereo.
“We’re both in love with you,” Namjoon repeats. “And we hope that you love us, too?”
“You don’t have to,” you add hastily. “You can love or not love whomever you wish — in whatever configuration you choose — but if you happen to also love us — like romantically, not like your annoying but favorite siblings — we would be very much okay with that, too.”
Jin is trying to follow your logic the best he can. He fails. “What?”
“We’re in love with you, Jin,” Namjoon says again. “And if you want to be with us, either individually or as a two for one special, or not at all, we just want you to know. You deserve to know.”
“Jesus, Joon. We’re not a BOGO,” you grumble.
Your brother giggles nervously. “I mean, we kind of are?”
“We’re not carbon copies — we’re our own people!” you protest.
Namjoon hugs and shushes you. “Let’s not get off topic, Y/N,” he gently insists.
You blush and nod agreeably.
Jin still has not caught up. He cannot believe his ears. “Is this your idea of a joke?”
Your face shatters. “No, Jinnie. We —”
“Is this a prank or some sort of fucked up test to make sure I’m not some sleazebag?” Jin checks. “This seems beyond the pale, even for you two.” Jin does not know why he is so angry except that he is. “This is cruel.”
Jin doesn’t register that he has stood up, his fists clenched.
“Please, Jin,” Namjoon begs. “Please hear us out.”
Namjoon seems as if he’s trying very hard not to cry — which makes no sense. Why would Namjoon be upset if he’s the one pranking Jin?
Jin reluctantly sits back down and jerks his chin in acknowledgment. He banks his panic until a more appropriate time.
“I love you, Jin,” says Namjoon, voice trembling. “I have loved you all my life and I cannot say when it changed from that of a younger brother to that of a man who loves a man.”
Namjoon’s voice is deep and serious — more serious than Jin has ever heard him.
“You taught me what it means to love and to love wholeheartedly and generously. You showed me how I deserve to be treated — like I’m the most precious person in the whole world.” Namjoon flushes crimson. “You see me, Jin. And I see you and love you.”
“You’re confused,” stutters Jin. “If I’m all you’ve known — you must be mistaken. You’ll fall in love for real one day and — and —” Jin’s voice breaks. He doesn’t know how to continue.
“I’m 29 years old, hyung,” Namjoon says firmly. “I think I’m experienced enough to know what I want and I want you. I’ve wanted you for a very long time. I would be yours if you would have me.”
Jin wants to scream. Namjoon says he loves him and yet his brain still balks. Perhaps now is the appropriate time to panic.
“This is a lot to take in,” he screeches instead. Jin’s entire body feels too hot and sweaty. If you are going to add your erroneous declarations of love, he does not know what he will do.
“Me, too,” you pipe up. “I may have loved you seven minutes fewer than Namjoon, but I also love you and am in love with you.”
“I —”
“You make me feel safe, Jin,” you say. “You accept me for who I am — even when I wreck all your plans and try your patience. You are my heart’s greatest wish and I want to be your safe place, Jinnie. I want to love you in the way you deserve. I want to make you happy.”
It’s too much.
Jin is not someone who likes to deal with emotions. He far prefers the zen of an empty head and coasts along blissfully in the present even when it comes to his deepest desires. He does not dwell. He does not allow himself the privilege of considering what he really wants.
Jin wants to cry and he hates it. He hates this feeling. He does not trust the way his heart surges at the prospect of his greatest wish coming true. He does not trust himself. He does not trust the two of you.
“I — I’m not sure what you want me to do with this information,” Jin muddles out.
“We want you to do whatever you want,” you say tentatively. “We just want you to know that in case you do return some of our feelings, that we are okay with you dating us both or only one of us or even not at all.”
“Is this a test?”
“Why do you keep asking us if it’s a test?” asks Namjoon. “What could we possibly be testing you for?”
“I don’t know,” Jin exasperates. “Like, some weird convoluted way to see who I love more or to see if I’m some dirty old man who wants to enact some freaky twin fantasy.”
“Oh, um, no threesomes, please,” you clarify quickly. “I — Joon — I mean, we’re not comfortable with that — if that’s okay.”
“But you’re both okay with me having sex with you individually,” Jin grits out. He ignores the way his gut kicks at the idea of sex with either of you individually.
The two of you nod and then, as if you both realize he needs verbal confirmation, say “yes” in sync. It’s a little disconcerting but if he’s honest, this entire afternoon has been disconcerting.
Jin glares at the two of you and can only hear the rush of the blood to his head. Perhaps his body has already gone ahead with the panicking.
“What, I’m just another thing you share between the two of you? Neither of you have found someone you really love so you’re settling for me and then, what? Decided to share because it’s convenient?” Jin doesn’t know where that thought comes from but now that it’s out, he realizes with a start that he really is worried about such a happenstance.
“Of course not, Jin,” you reply, sounding wounded. “You’re a person. You’re not a thing. And also, we have options!”
“Says the perpetually single person,” he digs.
“Single by choice,” you retort, eyes watery. “Don’t be mean. Just because you don’t want me doesn’t mean it’s because I don’t have other people wanting to be with me.”
“Besides,” adds Namjoon. “We could accuse you of the same thing if you choose to date us. Maybe you like the flex of bagging twins — one of each gender, at that. Don’t think Y/N and I haven’t received offers. People are gross.”
Jin flinches. “And am I one of those gross people to you? If I were to want both of you, would I be disgusting?” His voice hitches and Jin hates himself for a moment.
“I think it would depend on why you would want us,” Namjoon replies carefully. “Would you want us because we’re twins or because you want us as individuals? Like, you want us as separate people first and foremost — the fact that we’re twins is incidental?”
You are equally as careful when you add, “It’s okay if you have a fantasy of fucking twins — we don’t judge. If that’s something you want, it’s what you want — but we can’t be that for you.”
“I — I don’t want that,” he scrapes out. “I would never make y— anyone — do something they didn’t want to do.”
Jin doesn’t know why he is still acting as if he is not in love with you both. All he knows is that he cannot bear to meet either of your gazes. He cannot comprehend why — when he is on the cusp of everything he has ever hoped for — why he is being so willfully obstinate.
Silence permeates his childhood kitchen.
All Jin can think of is countless meals and homework sessions with you two squeezed into this very same nook. He wonders if his kitchen table is where he fell in love with each of you — you for your stubborn vibrancy and Namjoon for his steady contemplation. This is where he witnessed the love you had for one other and found his soul deeply yearning to be part of it.
Jin startles when he realizes that it is still the case. From the outside, the mutual love and adoration between you and Namjoon makes a person yearn to be let in — to share in that bubble of affection and tenderness.
He startles again when he realizes that he has already been let in — that he is already included — and you two are inviting him in deeper.
Jin is a fool.
You and Namjoon love him. You and Namjoon are in love with him. You and Namjoon want to make a life with him — both separately and together — and he is bungling it.
He realizes that you and Namjoon have been quietly observing him as his life is flashing through his mind.
“I —” he starts and then stops. He shakes his head to clear it. “I’m an idiot.”
“Care to be more specific?” you question dryly.
He supposes your tone is warranted. “I’m in love with you, too,” he says, cutting to the chase. “I love you both — individually and collectively. I — I can’t remember not loving either of you. It’s all of a piece.” He pauses, gathering his wits. “It’s just that I’ve spent so long telling myself that what I want is greedy at best and disgusting at worst —”
“You’re not greedy or disgusting,” Namjoon interrupts. “You are valid.”
Jin chortles. He is amazed he can still chortle after the rollercoaster of emotions he’s had today. “Yes, Namjoon. I gave you that same talk if you recall.”
“Well, then, stop it. I don’t like it when you say negative things about yourself.”
A rush of fondness sweeps through Jin. “I appreciate the sentiment, Namjoon. I really do. And also, I’m trying to explain where I’m coming from.”
“Sorry,” Namjoon mumbles. “Please continue.”
“Look, I’m not saying I care what society says about me and my sexual proclivities. And, I am still a product of society. As if the poly thing weren’t already against the social norm, I was lusting after twins!”
“So it’s just a physical attraction, huh?” you joke. “To be honest, same.”
Jin feels heat flare in his ears and travel down his neck into his chest. He knows you’re teasing but the idea of you finding him physically desirable stokes a dormant beast.
Namjoon tuts. “Y/N,” he reproves. “Stop distracting him.”
You stick your tongue out. “Stop being such a stick in the mud. I don’t know why it has to be so serious.”
“Anyway,” Jin says, clearing his throat, “it just felt unnecessarily complicated and taboo. It seemed too much to hope for. Too much to surmount.”
“Look at you,” you coo. “Using so many big words today.”
“You’re an ass,” Jin rejoins.
“But I’m your ass,” you try. “And now you can get some of this ass, too.”
Jin is in flames.
“Y/N!” cries Namjoon. “Ease up a bit — Jesus. No fair flirting before we’ve discussed boundaries. You think I don’t have a bunch of risqué bon mots waiting in the wings? I’m a romance and erotic fiction writer, for fuck’s sake!”
“Wait — you write erotic fiction?” Jin asks.
“How do you not know this? You said you’ve loved all my books!”
Jin winces. “And I do!” he insists, his voice pitching higher than he likes. “Nowhere have I actually stated that I’ve read them? They’re not mutually exclusive?”
You narrow your eyes at him and Jin feels as if he’s an insect pinned to a board. “Have you ever read any of our work?”
“I mean, define read?” he squawks.
“You’re really something else,” you sigh. You wave an imperious hand. “Fine, fine, fine. Please, do continue with your heartfelt confession of how much you love and want to bang us.”
“I — I think I’m done,” Jin huffs. “The moment has passed.”
“Hmmmph.”
“This is all so terribly scripted, but I suppose that’s to be expected in real life,” Namjoon observes.
“Sorry we’re not witty enough to be in one of your novels, Joonie,” you quip. “Though I confess, my professional pride is hurt.”
“You’ve literally written entire sections of my books for me when I’ve been stuck,” snipes Namjoon. “Do better.”
“Yeah? I’m still waiting for my royalties to roll in. Maybe I’ll sue.”
Jin is just fine with the attention being off of his dereliction of reading duties, but he’s not quite sure where the three of you are at. He sucks it up and re-enters the conversation.
“So, not to be the one reeling it back in all the time, but are we good? Are we a thing? Not a thing? A kinda thing?”
genre: drabble series, slow burn, idiots to lovers, fluff, lil bit of angst, eventual smut
summary: This random guy has started doing laundry at your favorite laundromat each week (at the same time as you, no less!) and to be honest, it’s going to be a problem. You’re just not sure how yet.
rating: 18+ for eventual smut
word count: less than 500
warnings: Pre-event/holiday jitters. Academic Hell Week jitters. Jokes about Roomie’s sex life. A joke about Black Friday shopping if you squint. Honestly some of my favorite jokes in the entire series so far.
notes: Hello! I’m back! Thank you for your patience! We are homing in on the end. The next several drabbles are all going to be taking place on the same day, so keep that in mind for future postings. Note also that I think I may be able to have this wrapped up in about 25 parts so!! That’s exciting! Let’s see if it happens!
Regardless of if the university is off for Thanksgiving, you’ve been mired in prep for hell week. Final exams are easy. The several papers you have due before exam week are not. You may have been dragged away earlier in the week for a grocery run, sure, but the rest of prep was left to Roomie and her machine-like efficiency. You’re just there for silent emotional support, typing away at the kitchen table as she salts the chicken, preps and chops vegetables, and putters around, cleaning and tidying when she isn’t at work.
Sajangnim, just checked Y/N out of the recovery center. She seems out of it, but I am hopeful that with the proper care, we should be back in Korea by the end of the year or early next year at the latest. - Text from Baek Ha-joon to Bang Si-hyuk, September 2021
She won’t eat. She won’t talk. She won’t write. She won’t sing. She won’t let me play music. She just lays in bed and refuses to move. She stares at the wall — she doesn’t even cry. I don’t know what to do. - Text from Baek Ha-joon to Alton Kuang, September 2021
She keeps complaining that Santa Barbara is too white and that if she has to be subjected to microaggressions, cultural ignorance, and being othered one more fucking time by the staff she will make sure she’s much more thorough on her next attempt. Are there any out-patient programs in Los Angeles? - Text from Baek Ha-joon to Alton Kuang, October 2021
Sajangnim, I don’t think it would be a good idea for Y/N to attend the BTS PTD concerts as a way to reintroduce her to public life. She says she doesn’t want to distract Namjoon or the other members from this historic moment. She would prefer they and their staff not be informed that she is now in Los Angeles. - Text from Baek Ha-joon to Bang Si-hyuk, November 2021
She’s a wreck. - Text from Baek Ha-joon to Alton Kuang, November 2021
Sajangnim, I don’t think Y/N will be back in Korea this year or even the next. I am recommending she not renew her contract with us in June. - Text from Baek Ha-joon to Bang Si-hyuk, December 2021
We need to start making plans for who will take care of Y/N when her contract ends in a few months. Unfortunately, I will not be able to stay. I am not confident that she will be able to live on her own safely. - Text from Baek Ha-joon to Alton Kuang, February 2022
March 2022
“Everyone keeps asking me if I can get them BTS tickets, oppa,” you said. “And they want to know if I’m going to Vegas.”
“Do you want to go?” Ha-joon asked carefully, as if you were fragile and he was always breaking you.
“No,” you replied definitively.
You noted his sigh of relief at not needing to tell you it was a bad idea for you to attend. Anything related to BTS or meeting up with people who used to know you — really, peopling in general — was a bad idea.
You hated yourself for turning your once open, confident, and tough love manager into an anxious, guarded person. You knew he was exhausted and you were the cause of his burn out. You were the reason he was going to be without a person to manage in three months’ time. You were the reason Ha-joon was switching departments at HYBE. You were the reason Ha-joon now hated his job.
How he must despise you.
“Do you still need me to get them tickets? I can, you know,” Ha-joon offered kindly. Even now, he was doing his best to take care of you. You did not deserve him.
“You should go, too, oppa,” you suggested softly. At his bewildered expression, you continued. “I’m sure you miss your colleagues and I know you enjoy BTS’s performances, too. I’ll be fine. If you’re worried, I can ask a friend to stay with me for the weekend.”
“Aish,” Ha-joon replied brusquely as he moved to the fridge, pulling food out to start preparing dinner. “I’ll see them all soon enough. I only have you a few more months, Y/N. Stop trying to get rid of me early.”
You merely stared after him, brain futzing. “Oh.”
Everything in your being rebelled at accepting his words as truth. You didn’t realize you were sobbing until Ha-joon enveloped you in his strong, dependable arms.
“Ah, Y/N,” he murmured. “Oppa will miss you so very, very much. But don’t cry just yet — we have three more months together.”
You nodded into his chest and didn’t move for some time. Lies circled your overwhelmed mind like vultures, except for once, you allowed yourself to sink into the hope that Ha-joon was here because he loved you and not because he wanted a return on his company’s investment.
You vowed as you always did that tomorrow, you would make it up to Ha-joon and Alton. You would make them proud one day; you would repay all the sacrifices they had made for you.
———
The next morning, you woke up feeling as you always did: grayed out. The world was muted as if you were underwater and all you could hear was the pounding of your pulse. It did not matter that you were surrounded by luxury in Alton’s understated mansion in San Marino, a wealthy suburb of Los Angeles.
You spent your day like you did every other day: refusing to budge from your bed until your bladder could no longer hold and then crawling back under heavy blankets. You zoned out on mobile games until your elbows hurt. If you sensed Ha-joon down the hall, you would toss the covers over your head, pretending to sleep.
One day slipped into the next and once again, time lost all meaning.
———
“Stop avoiding me, Y/N,” scolded Alton through the tiny screen of your phone, “and before you lie to my face and say you’re not, I have it on good authority that you spend all day locked in your room pretending to sleep.”
“Who says I’m pretending?” you scowled. “I have years of sleep to catch up on.”
“I don’t think that’s how it works, mèi.”
Alton sounded so disappointed. He had to be. He’d settled tens of millions of dollars on your behalf and you repaid him by wasting away your life in bed. Nevermind that you had no idea how to settle the debt given that the thought of singing or performing made you want to vomit. Nevermind that Alton waived it away as if it was nothing. Even if it was nothing to him, it was not nothing to you.
Mattie couldn’t understand why you weren’t more relieved. You didn’t dare confide in him about your sense of despair and indebtedness. The one time you had when he’d visited, Mattie had flown into a rare temper.
“Why can’t you just accept this good thing, Y/N? Why do you always have to be such a martyr? As if you’re the only person in the world who can save us?” The fact that Mattie — calm and collected and easygoing Mattie — had raised his voice at all had thrown you into disarray. “Don’t you fucking dare do anything stupid to pay Alton back. I will never forgive you if you do.”
He had sounded near tears and so you had promised. “I promise, Mattie,” you had said. “Could you clarify what you mean by ‘stupid’ though?” you had teased in an effort to lighten the mood. Mattie had not been amused.
“Anything that jeopardizes your life is stupid, you get me, jiě?” Your brother had growled, his voice flinty and hard.
“I get you, dì.”
“I know you sacrificed for me so I could have an easier life, but I don’t want it. I’m 24 years old and I don’t need it. What I need is my fucking sister to be alive.” Mattie had glared, his hands fisted at his side. “I need you to live, Y/N.”
You had stared at him and perhaps had seen him for the first time. He was no longer a child. He did not need you to take care of him anymore.
“Okay, Mattie,” you had said.
Mattie had stared back, unsure if he could trust you. You hadn’t blamed him. “Okay,” he’d replied as he dragged you into a tight embrace. “Okay.”
Your little brother, who’d established that he was no longer quite so little, had held you for a long time. Somehow, the weight of living had seemed even more ponderous than all your other debts.
You were dragged back to the present when Alton said, “I have a proposal, mèi.” He looked as if he was trying not to seem worried and settled on nonchalance.
“I don’t even get a fancy dinner?” you quipped.
“Dinners are for ladies who put out.”
“Problematic.”
“Just checking to see if you were feeling more like yourself,” he replied. “Glad to see you’re still putting me in my place.”
You grunted. Even this little bit of banter took a lot out of you and you wanted to lay back down, but you didn’t want to face Alton’s judgment.
“What’s your proposal?” you asked. Anything to move the painful conversation along.
“I know you hate feeling like a charity case — and that I can assure you until we’re old and gray and still, you would not believe me,” he said.
You nodded at his assessment. He wasn’t wrong.
“So, hear me out: you want to earn your keep? Then I have a list of demands.”
You raised an irate eyebrow. “Demands?”
“Alright, alright. Suggested work specs,” Alton amended.
“I really can’t work on music, Alton,” you whispered. “So if that’s the work, you’ll be even more disappointed in me.”
Alton rolled his eyes. “I’m only allowing this bullshit about you disappointing me slide — as if you could ever — because I’ll be there in person in June and I don’t want to fight before I get to LA,” he said.
You gestured for him to continue.
“Your work is to physically get out of bed — and stay out — before noon every day.” Alton held up a hand to forestall your burgeoning nitpicking. “And yes, including weekends. And no, you cannot just use another bed.”
“Spoilsport.”
“I also will need you to eat at least one nutritionally balanced meal a day as well as do some sort of physical activity twice a week. Oh, and spend at least fifteen minutes in the sun every day.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “You ask too much. You know how I feel about the sun.”
“Mèi, I’m worried about you.” Alton’s face softened. “You spend too much time in your head.”
You had nothing to say. Panic pulsed at the edges of your mind. Surely, he wasn’t asking too much of you? And yet, it felt like too much.
“I love you, Y/N. You know this, right? Please tell me you know this.”
You nodded, a curt, abbreviated motion. “Just know I’m making you pay for the laser treatments if I get sun spots.”
“If you must,” you sighed, hoping Alton could tell you were teasing even if the tone didn’t sound quite right.
“I must,” he insisted.
After Alton ended the call, you sank back under your covers and thought of his blatant ploy to get you back into the motions of living. If you were to start working tomorrow, you might as well get in one last wallow.
You did not know the way out, but you hoped maybe duty and obligation to Alton would carry you through.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“TFW old friends refuse to let you accept judgment instead of grace.” - Y/N L/N, Twitter (January 2024)
January 2024
“It’s good to see you again, noona,” Jungkook said as he wrapped you in a tight hug. “Don’t let it go so long next time,” he added, leaving unsaid so much of what Taehyung and the rest of his members had wanted to say for the last few years.
You flushed prettily, eyes remorseful and shimmering. “Thanks for agreeing to have dinner with me,” you said as you sat down in one of the private booths at Ossu Seiromushi.
It had always been one of your favorite places to eat. Taehyung appreciated the fact that even after all these years, you still remembered to support Jin’s older brother. It reminded him that though you had dropped off the face of the earth, you still cared in tiny, ingrained ways.
The four of you made slightly strained small talk. You asked about their year-end performances and families while steering clear of mentions of your own. Taehyung could not help but notice your near constant sipping of the hot sake and how you obviously felt ill at ease. His heart twinged at the years lost between you. He couldn’t stand it any longer.
“I’m sure you don’t really care about how we feel about the weather and our schedules, noona,” he broke in gently. At Jungkook’s shocked gasp, Taehyung wondered if perhaps he was not as gentle as he’d thought.
Panic flicked across your countenance before you shut it down, smoothing over your features. “I suppose you’re right, Taehyung,” you said.
Taehyung pretended he didn’t hear the quaver. He loved you, but he owed it to his leader to ask. Your elusiveness had gone on long enough. “Where have you been, noona? What happened between you and Namjoon hyung? And why did you come back?”
“Taehyung!” rebuked Jimin.
You placed a hand on Jimin’s arm. “It’s alright, Jimin. You deserve answers. Feel free to tell your hyungs, just — just please — let me tell Namjoon myself?”
At Taehyung’s nod, you downed the remainder of your sake and launched into the most heartbreaking story he’d heard in a long time. He wanted you to stop but it was as if now that the dam was released, you couldn’t. Before he knew it, he and his bandmates were sobbing and reaching for their own cups of sake just to make it through.
Taehyung wondered if he had ever known you.
“Noona,” breathed Jungkook. “Oh, noona. I’m so sorry.” His eyes welled over again and you squeezed his outstretched hand across the table.
“I’m sorry for laying it all on you like this,” you said. “I suppose there’s no way to ease into it — at least not when I have so much to answer for.”
“We would have helped you, noona. Surely you know this?” accused Jimin.
Taehyung could tell he was seething just underneath his calm exterior. An angry Jimin was terrifying to behold. You sighed. Taehyung could tell you’d likely heard this from any number of your friends — especially Alton. You knew enough wealthy people.
“I know,” you said, fiddling with your napkin. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I am perhaps a little too proud.”
Jimin barked a startled laugh. “I suppose you are,” he conceded.
“I saw you ask for help all the time though,” Taehyung observed.
“Family’s different,” you said. “You all have such good and kind families — how could I even begin to tell you what my father was like? I —” You swallowed. “My mother disowned me,” you continued dejectedly. “What if — what if I told you everything and you wanted nothing to do with me? If my own parents didn’t want me — how could any of you?”
Your voice broke and you threw your napkin into your lap. You gazed longingly at your empty sake cup and it seemed to Taehyung that you’d come to a decision. You picked up the cup and settled it back on the table upside down.
“We love you, noona,” Jungkook said, resolute. “You’re good through to your core.”
“I — I really am not,” you croaked.
“You think we can’t read people after over a decade in this business?” Jungkook continued. “We’re not naive children anymore, noona. We can’t afford to let the wrong people in our circles — and you’re good people. That’s why it hurt so much when you disappeared. We couldn’t understand how all seven of us — especially hyung — could have gotten it so wrong.”
“It doesn’t matter what your father did or what your mother said. We’re only upset because you had to go through it alone and without us. We love you,” declared Jimin. His tone brooked no dissent.
Taehyung figured it was time for him to say something lest you thought he disagreed. “I’m glad you finally told us, noona. And I’m glad that writing your memoir was healing. I look forward to reading the Korean translation.”
Taehyung’s subject change brought the conversation back to safer territory and he was relieved to see your body finally relax. The four of you chatted a bit more until you looked at the time.
“I know it isn’t even close to midnight except the jetlag is still kicking my ass. But before I forget, I have something for you.” You got up and reached into the shopping bag you’d brought with you and handed them each a gift bag. “It’s nothing fancy, but I — uh, I hope you like it.”
Taehyung took out the tissue wrapped package and ripped it open. He found a thick cable-knit scarf in a deep, forest green shot through with silver-gray embellishes. When he looked carefully, he noted a cuddly bear embroidered on one end and a tiger cub embroidered on the other. He caressed the soft cotton fibers and felt himself choke up.
“This is beautiful,” murmured Jimin. “Where did you find it?”
Taehyung looked up to see Jungkook and Jimin holding up similar scarves except the maknae’s was in charcoal gray and red accents and embroidered bunnies while Jimin’s was a rich indigo blue and silver-gray with embroidered chicks.
“Ah,” you hemmed, flushing slightly. “I knit them. I hope you like them.”
“Noona, I didn’t know you knew how to knit,” gushed Jungkook. “I love it.”
Your mouth quirked ruefully. “I had a lot of spare time,” you said. “I made one for each of you — if you don’t mind passing them along?”
You placed the shopping bag into Jimin’s hands and he nodded.
“I — I don’t know if Namjoon would want — he must hate me but I, I didn’t want to leave him out.” Your voice faltered and you cleared your throat. “Maybe if I — if you could hold onto his until you think it’s the right time?”
Jimin looked torn and Jungkook’s face was filled with anguish.
“Of course, noona,” Taehyung said, wanting to relieve some of the burden Jimin likely felt as the eldest of their condensed group.
“It was good to see you again, noona,” Jimin said as he stood to hug you, his voice thick. “Don’t be a stranger in March, okay?”
You nodded, blinking rapidly. Taehyung and his members chattered among themselves, gathering their things to give you a moment to compose yourself.
When they were outside, Jimin requested one last photo and it hit Taehyung once more just how much he’d missed you over the last three years. You had been like a big sister to him and he had relied on your steady and indulging presence for so much. You had kept him grounded.
He watched as you caught a cab and waved as the car pulled away.
It still smarted when he thought of how much of yourself you’d hidden away out of fear and a misguided attempt to shield them. Maybe it was time they protected you for a change.
———
“The chickens have come home to roost.” - Y/N L/N, Twitter (March 2024)
“What does it mean when the man you’ve spent your life with calls you abusive? Does that mean he saw something inside you — something you thought you’d hidden?” - “Telling a Truth Is a Slippery Slope” (Red Lantern Publishing House, October 2023)
March 2024
Taehyung almost ran into you as you rounded the corner at top speed. “Noona, are you okay?”
It was a stupid question. You obviously were not.
“Do you want me to sit with you?” he asked, though if he was truthful, he was more worried about Namjoon. If you were a wreck then how was Namjoon faring?
“No, I — I’m fine. Really,” you lied.
Taehyung chose to believe it and let you go as he hurried to Namjoon’s studio.
“Hyung?” Taehyung said as he opened the door right after knocking.
All he needed to see was Namjoon’s head buried in his hands and Taehyung was at his leader’s side, throwing his arms around the older man. He just let Namjoon turn into him and weep on his shoulders. Taehyung felt it was about time Namjoon let others carry his burdens, too.
“I suppose you know what happened?” Namjoon grated out after collecting himself.
“Just now? Or in noona’s missing years?”
“I guess everything.” Namjoon shrugged. “You must hate me.”
Taehyung wrapped his arms around the older man again and squeezed. “Why would I hate you, hyung? You didn’t know. How could you be blamed for something you knew nothing of?”
“Am I a monster?” he choked out. “Is that why she didn’t trust me? She tried to explain and I only said horrible things —” Namjoon started sobbing again. “I’m just so, so angry. I thought if I just got a reason from her, I would feel better — but I feel worse. I’m even angrier and I didn’t think it would be possible.”
“Ah, hyung,” Taehyung soothed. “Of course you’re angry. It’s a terrible situation in general. You both did the best you could.”
“Did I, though? I don’t think I did the best of anything today except be a dick.” Namjoon wiped his face on his shirt.
Taehyung smoothed his hand over Namjoon’s back in small, comforting circles.
“You’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to be a dick and not have a perfect response,” said Taehyung. “You’re a person and it’s all been a shock to you. It doesn’t matter even though now you know what happened. She still hurt you, hyung.”
“She really did.” Namjoon shuddered a wet breath. “And the worst part is that I still love her. I love her so much, Tae.”
Taehyung just gazed at his friend sorrowfully. “I know, hyung. I know.”
“I’m so stupid. She’s clearly moved on. As soon as Alton saw an opening, he took it.”
“What?”
“You remember Alton. I always hated him. It was her perfect revenge,” mumbled Namjoon.
“Noona’s not with Alton. She’s not with anyone,” Taehyung said carefully. “She hasn’t dated anyone since she left.”
“She’s not dating Alton? But — but she made it seem like she was?”
“Did she ever say that or did you assume something and she didn’t disagree?”
Namjoon paused. “Oh.” Namjoon looked up and Taehyung hated the spark of hope in his friend’s eyes.
“I thought you were angry. Angrier than you were before,” reasoned Taehyung.
“I am. But that doesn’t negate how much I still love her.” Namjoon hung his head again. “I’m pathetic.”
“I thought you were going to try and love yourself a little more, hyung,” Taehyung said gently. “You feel what you feel and what you feel is real.”
“It’s been years. Why are you still quoting ‘Frozen 2’?” Namjoon questioned with no heat.
Taehyung shrugged. “I can’t help that it’s valid.”
“I don’t know what to do.” Namjoon’s entire body slumped.
“First, give yourself some time to absorb this new information and process your grief and anger,” suggested Taehyung. “And then possibly consider that the noona you love is not the same as the noona she is now — and perhaps she never was.”
Namjoon rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. “When did you get so wise, Tae?”
“I’ve always been this way,” he chuckled. “It’s just that you finally realized it.”
“I suppose you’re right,” conceded Namjoon. He leaned back into the couch and spread out his body and legs. “Thanks, Tae.”
“‘Course, hyung,” he replied. “We’ve got you.”
“Yeah, you really do.”
———
“Y/N L/N returns to her esoteric roots with the scathing ‘Whore of Babylon’ (Big Hit Entertainment, 2019). While her previous two albums were more mainstream and still managed to hit hard and fun, longtime fans (including this critic) are euphoric at what seems to be L/N revisiting the deconstruction of patriarchy and Christianity. We missed her skewering society while couching it all in brilliant barbs and badass beats.
“The album opens with ‘Revelations,’ a wordplay on how L/N bares all as well as the closing book of the Christian Bible where she gets the title ‘Whore of Babylon.’ L/N examines how patriarchy punishes ambitious women who buck expectations and seize what they want. L/N references Lady MacBeth and kumihos on their own tracks, and in ‘Harlot’s Portion,’ name drops famous biblical fallen women such as the woman at the well and Rahab, the prostitute who helped the Israelites capture Jericho and became the ancestor of Boaz and thus, Jesus.
“But without a doubt, ‘Defenestration’ is a love song and rallying cry for her fandom which is also called the Jezebels. While the Bible paints Jezebel as the harlot queen, used throughout history to vilify beautiful women and those who used makeup, L/N flips the insult much as she did with her Korean debut album ‘Shameless.’ Instead, she tells a story of a rightful ruler whose son was murdered and resisted a coup but then was ultimately thrown out a window by the followers of a power hungry prophet who claimed to be on the side of God.
“Smashing.” - The Hankyoreh, July 2019
“After two mini-albums that clearly catered to trends and veered away from Y/N L/N’s signature ‘fuck you’ to mainstream tastes, L/N is back in fine form. ‘Whore of Babylon’ (Big Hit Entertainment, 2019) is everything we hoped the previous two releases would be: experimental, speaking truth to power, and a slap in the face to incels and religious conservatives.” - Rolling Stone Korea, July 2019
“Fucking fantastic.” - NME, July 2019
[1] Revelations [1:06] [2] Harlot’s Portion [3:48] [3] Out, Damned Spot! [4:07] [4] Se7en [3:15] [5] Casting the First Stone [2:56] [6] Pluck Out Your Eye [4:22] [7] Kumiho [3:39] [8] Until the Stars All Fall [4:30] [9] I’m Glorious [2:45] [10] Defenestration [3:27] - Track list, “Whore of Babylon” (Big Hit Entertainment, 2019)
Score us victorious I am utterly meritorious Notorious, uproarious I want you to adore us
No abstentions or declensions Predicated on inflections Apprehensions, dimensions You have no comprehension
Excoriated, excruciated Your vision’s become corrugated Adjudicated until I abdicated I shall not be eradicated
Censorious, spurious Dismiss the vainglorious Greek chorus Implore us, laborious The weight of story is glorious - “I’m Glorious” (Big Hit Entertainment, 2019)
“Big brain energy + big clit energy = WoB!!! We stan a BAMF!” - Twitter user, July 2019
“Can’t wait for the backlash from tiny, insecure men and the religious hypocrites. Jezebels, go!” - Twitter user, July 2019
“oh fuck the mv for im glorious is glorious” - Twitter user, July 2019
“Did she get a new tattoo? If so, who is the lucky fucker who gets to see ‘taste and see that the lord is good’ on her inner thigh?” - Twitter user, July 2019
“all the leather and corsets and chains and boots and bursts of color and lingerie and tiddies and ass cheeks and *faints*” - Twitter user, July 2019
“Y/N kink activated” - Twitter user, July 2019
“Y/N reading thirst tweets on BuzzFeed is everything! The way she isn’t phased by a damn thing.” - Twitter user, July 2019
“I love how Y/N doesn’t need any fucking explanations. And shit, that low chuckle of hers combined with her eyebrow raise? STEP ON ME, QUEEN!” - Twitter user, July 2019
“SHE READ MY TWEET SHE READ MY TWEET FUCK SHIT SHE WINKED AASKJFADSKDF ASDF;LKJASDF;KLJASDKFJS” - Twitter user, July 2019
“DID SHE ACTUALLY TELL THE PERSON TO OPEN THEIR MOUTH AFTER THEY ASKED FOR HER TO SPIT ON THEM OMG FUCK ME” - Twitter user, July 2019
July 2019
“Oh, shit.”
Taehyung looked up at Namjoon’s comment and noted how flushed his leader was. “You alright, hyung?”
“Noona dropped her new M/V,” he replied, voice cracking.
Jungkook lurched at Namjoon’s phone. “I wanna see! Is it good? She wouldn’t send us any pictures from the set and made us promise not to watch teasers.” When Namjoon wouldn’t relinquish his phone, Jungkook’s face lit up in mischief. “You do know we can just look it up on our own devices, right? Where’s my iPad?”
“No — it’s inappropriate!” Namjoon choked out.
Yoongi smirked. “You can’t stop us, Joon. It’s on the internet and we’re all of age.”
“That’s beside the point. She’s my girlfriend.”
“Oh, fuck. Now I really want to see,” quipped Seokjin. “Hurry up, Kook.”
Taehyung and the rest of his members knew that Namjoon tried to keep his jealous streak in check, and it rarely reared its head enough for them to take advantage. So, of course he joined the rest of his members to watch Y/N’s latest M/V just to piss him off. Taehyung knew from Namjoon’s lack of further protest that his leader knew it was a lost cause anyway.
From the opening black and white shot of Y/N’s back — naked except for a tiny leather waist cincher — Taehyung did not quite know how to react in an appropriate manner. The inky dragon, prowling tiger, and cyborg rooster rippled down your muscular back while the hanja at your neck stood out, bold and fierce. He’d never much paid attention to your tattoos but this time, he was mesmerized.
Plus, the globes of your ass were pert, round, and bare. Fuck.
“Is she rapping ‘I’m Glorious’ over a sample of Biggie’s ‘Notorious’?” Hoseok asked. “Oh, she’s fucking amazing.”
“What does her tattoo say? Is that new?” Yoongi paused the video and squinted at the screen.
Now that the video was stopped, Taehyung stared closely, too. He followed a beautiful script up the length of your inner thigh except it was either too hard to read or he was too distracted by the lines of your leg.
He heard a burst of laughter from Yoongi. “‘Taste and see that the Lord is good,’” he read in English. “Y/N is fucking hilarious.” At Namjoon’s grumble, Yoongi added, “Well, Namjoon. How does the Lord taste?”
“Is it real?” Jimin couldn’t resist asking. “When did noona get it?” At Namjoon’s sputtering, Jimin collapsed over himself cackling. “You haven’t seen it yet, have you? You didn’t even know!”
“We’ve been on tour!” Namjoon defended hotly. “Noona said she had a surprise for me and — ah fuck. I won’t even see her until next week. She did this on purpose,” he groaned. “Why is she like this?”
Taehyung joined his bandmates in their good-natured ribbing. “Doesn’t seem like you mind the way she is, hyung.”
“So, what’s this BuzzFeed thirst tweet video with noona that YouTube is recommending next?” asked Hoseok.
“NOOOOOOO!” cried Namjoon in despair. “Why does she do this to me? This is her revenge on me being on tour this past year and half, isn’t it? She just gets hotter and adds secret tattoos and flirts with her fans and I can only watch through a screen.”
“Stop pretending that you hate it,” Seokjin snickered. “You love that you’re the only one she lets touch her.”
Taehyung ignored the twin twists of desire and envy roiling in his belly as he watched the BuzzFeed video, only understanding some of the references. He understood enough, though. Many of the tweets were similar to what he saw under his own.
He divested his body’s response from his mind. You were Namjoon’s girl. Had been for years. He knew better than to lust after you. They all knew better. And yet, sometimes Taehyung could not help but wish for someone like you in his life.
His hyung was the luckiest man alive.
———
“Former singer Y/N L/N is back in Seoul after a three year absence but this time, it’s as an author. The Korean translation of her New York Times bestselling book, ‘Telling a Truth Is a Slippery Slope,’ has surprisingly flown off the shelves and has even broken records in Korea for books written by a celebrity. Likely, many gossip hounds are curious for clues about who her mystery boyfriend of five years was.
“They will get more than they bargained for. ‘Telling’ is a gorgeous piece of writing — and utterly heartbreaking. L/N said she hoped that her book would shine a light on domestic violence in Asian American households as well as breaking stigmas about mental health and suicide. She wished to give courage and hope for those who are suffering.” - The Korean Herald, June 2024
“No surprise, Y/N L/N is in the headlines for stirring up controversy again. Men’s rights activists and multiple government officials are calling for a ban on ‘Telling a Truth Is a Slippery Slope’ because she promotes harmful feminism and lacks filial piety. Extra security is being hired for her reading events and local authorities are recommending attendants proceed with caution.” - JoongAng Ilbo, June 2024
“I’m so excited!! I got tickets to Y/N’s book tour stop in Seoul!! I wonder if her old labelmates will attend to support her?” - Twitter user, June 2024
[ + 107,892, - 12,389] “Y/N is a disgrace. A real man would have kicked her to the curb years ago. She had an entire album called ‘Whore of Babylon’ a few years back and now she’s back with this shit. Why do we keep allowing a self-admitted prostitute back into this country? Send this Chinese slut back to where she came from.” - internet user, Pann, June 2024
June 2024
It never failed to surprise Taehyung when he saw all the security and protesters surrounding your events. In theory, he understood it. After all, he was constantly protected by a detail due to his international celebrity status, but you were markedly more lowkey. He could never grasp what it was about you that enraged so many men.
Could they not see how you were a warrior artist of unparalleled caliber? Or maybe that was the problem; they could and were terrified.
He followed his bandmates into Starfield Library and gazed at the 13 meter book display. Though he didn’t think it was your style of bookstore, he understood that the venue was chosen to accommodate BTS, TXT, and some of their other HYBE groups.
“I thought we were supposed to be a surprise,” whispered Jungkook. “But it seems the press already knew?”
“Of course the press knew,” Namjoon remarked acidly. “How else could they drum up publicity for noona’s book? We’re here to do our part. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have flown back from Japan and just continued with the Asia leg of our tour.”
“Why did everyone tell me it was a surprise then?” Jungkook pouted.
Namjoon sighed loudly. “Because it’s a surprise to the general public, Jungkook. They probably didn’t want us to spoil it.”
“Like I’m the one they need to worry about,” Jungkook grumbled back.
“Are you going to be okay?” asked Seokjin quietly. “Yoongi or I can speak if they ask for our opinion. I can be extra ridiculous today if you want.”
Taehyung’s heart warmed at the gesture. Even though he knew Seokjin loved Namjoon, he also knew how much his eldest hyung adored and passionately protected you. Between Seokjin, Yoongi, and Jungkook, you were well defended among his bandmates.
It was good to see Seokjin remind his leader at a critical moment that he was on Team Namjoon, too.
“I’m fine,” Namjoon snapped. He took a deep, calming breath. “I’m fine, hyung,” he tried again, this time with more care. “Sorry for being a dick, Kookie.”
“‘S fine, hyung,” replied Jungkook, eyes wide and full of concern. “Let’s grab a seat, yeah?”
Taehyung and the rest of his bandmates joined the section where all the HYBE artists were expected to sit and chatted with the members of TXT in the row behind them. He glanced over and saw you sitting by yourself in the very front, back erect and proper. He took a moment to take you in and understood exactly why Namjoon still wasn’t over you.
You had buzzed the sides of your hair into a perfectly faded undercut leaving a shaggy mohawk that was styled like the rock star you used to be. Your ears were covered in so many piercings it resembled armor and Taehyung mused it probably was meant as such. He couldn’t see the rest of your outfit but it was black and framed the shape of your back in flattering angles.
He wondered why you were alone and was about to discuss with his members about greeting you when all 180cm of Alton Kuang swept in, clad in Tom Ford and looking every bit the chaebol he was. Alton crushed you to him in a bruising hug and after, you melted into his tender and intimate touches.
Maybe Namjoon had been right and it was another omission of yours that they’d missed. Or maybe it was a recent development. With you, they could never really be sure. You sure seemed like Alton’s girl through and through.
Taehyung flicked his gaze to Namjoon who had stiffened in his seat and was being comforted by Hoseok, who had tasked himself with occupying their leader. As much as Taehyung wanted to support you, he really wished it didn’t have to be in such a public setting and at the expense of Namjoon. The whole situation just made him sad and he wasn’t even a main participant!
Taehyung decided to peruse the program instead and before he knew it, the program was starting. He clapped politely in all the expected places, waved when BTS was highlighted and thanked, and then, it was your turn to read.
You walked up, head held high and looking regal in a sweeping modern Tang Dynasty style jacket covered in embroidered white cranes. Your movements revealed glimpses of a lacy bralette and black linen harem pants paired with black stiletto boots.
Taehyung’s breath caught. He’d forgotten just how devastating you could be and sent up a prayer for Namjoon. They would all need one.
I don’t know why you’re here,but I know why Iam,you began.
Taehyung found himself seduced by your reading voice, a resonant contralto so different from your normal speaking voice. If he had heard your reading voice without context, he would have never connected the sonorous, rich timbre with you. You were so deep and he was lost.
I write this book as an altar; it is my pile of rocks in the middle of the Jordan, you continued. In the future, my children will ask me, “What do these rocks mean?” I will tell them, “The water almost swept me away but the people who loved me would not let me drown. These rocks will always remind me: I was here. I am here. I made a promise, and I will continue to be here.”
Taehyung had always appreciated your lyricism before, though he’d paid more attention to your vocal abilities and musical stylings. It wasn’t that your words hadn’t been important — it was more that he had never been a lyrics guy. And now that he heard your unvarnished prose, it occurred to him for perhaps the first time that you were an extraordinary writer.
By the time you were done with your excerpt, there was not a dry eye in the house.
The emcee made a few remarks and the program switched to the question and answer portion from both members of the press and the floor in general. All seemed to be going smoothly until a male journalist representing a conservative paper got the mic.
“Some say that you’re just desperate for attention — that your suicide attempt was faked and that your book is an attempt to revive your lackluster singing career,” the man inquired. “That as per usual, you relied on the sensationalism of sex instead of actual talent to make headlines. What would you say in the face of such observations?”
Taehyung saw Hoseok place a placating hand on Namjoon’s knee and forced himself not to react. He would not give the press any satisfaction of provoking any drama from him or his members.
The corner of your mouth lifted and Taehyung knew to brace for impact.
“I would say that it seems as if you’re projecting,” you replied serenely as people in the audience stifled nervous snickers.
The man sneered. “Don’t think you can dodge the question with a quippy remark. We know what you really are.”
Your face was unfailingly polite. “And what am I?”
“An opportunistic upstart leveraging all your scandals in the absence of talent,” he said.
All the oxygen snuffed out of the room.
“Is that right?” you drawled, your eyes belying your lazy calm. “Then it is as you say.”
“That’s it?” the man challenged. “That’s all you have to say?”
You shrugged. “Let’s not pretend you care about facts or truths or my interpretation of them. We all shape our own narratives and you have already chosen yours. It’s always nice to see new fiction writers make a name for themselves.”
Taehyung wanted to cheer and some audience members actually clapped as you dismissed the man and said, “Next question?”
The rest of the time continued without incident. Of course, there were several attempts at asking for spoilers about your mystery boyfriend, but you accepted them goodnaturedly and skillfully sidestepped the attempts. There were even several moving moments where fans and readers explained how you comforted them in their hardship or gave them courage to ask for help.
Before Taehyung knew it, the emcee was explaining logistics for the ensuing book signing and then ushering BTS and his label’s groups into group photos with you. He waved quickly to you as he was shepherded out of the venue and the last he saw was you addressing and signing one book after another.
He wished they had more time to properly celebrate your book, but they were rushing back to Japan for the start of his last tour. They’d decided to start their military service in September at the same time as Namjoon so that they could all be back together as a group of seven as quickly as possible.
Taehyung did not realize that he wouldn’t see you again for another two years.
“I want my daughter to have everything that I didn’t have, Maddie; what we didn’t have. I want her to have a childhood she’ll remember with affection, Maddie, with a smile instead of sadness. I want my daughter to be happy.”
You see, Buck knew how to take care of children. He did this all the time. With Denny and Nia, with Harry, and especially with Christopher. I mean, he babysat Christopher so many times he could do it with his eyes closed. So, Buck knew how to take care of kids; this wasn’t rocket science, right? Right?! No! Wrong. Because Buck knew how to take care of children; walking and talking children. A baby was… something else.
Bella didn’t talk, she didn’t walk, she didn’t go to the bathroom by herself, she didn’t even let him know when she needed to go to the bathroom, and this is all on another level for Buck. Of course, he had help. Maddie taught him how to prepare the bath with the water at the correct temperature, she taught him how to bathe his daughter correctly and how to dress her. Carla taught him how to prepare the formula, to make sure it wasn’t too hot, and also taught him how to sanitize and care for the umbilical stump. Athena taught him all the lullabies she sang to May and Harry, while Bobby, apparently, found it necessary to start teaching Buck how to cook and prepare baby food from day one. Chimney went through an extensive list of all the movies he had found about babies and single dads and sometimes they even watched them together. Hen and Karen explained about all the stimulating toys for babies and which brands to buy, a list of the best stores, and they had even bought some toys for Bella already.
So you see, Buck had all the help he could ever need.
And then he had Eddie. Eddie, who came to the apartment every day when his shift ended, who would hold Bella in his arms while Buck showered. Eddie, who always brought Christopher with him because the boy was completely in love with the baby, and his daughter seemed to be delighted with him too; she would always make the most adorable sounds when she saw Christopher. Eddie who always brought lots of food…
“Don’t worry, Abuela’s the one who cooked and had me bring it to you.”
Eddie, who cared for his daughter with as much love as Buck cared for Chris. Eddie, who spent every night with him on the phone, because even though Bella was a calm baby and slept well, she still woke up at night hungry or with a dirty diaper, and Buck always took a while to get back to sleep after that; so they talked, about everything and nothing.
And in a way Buck didn’t even think was possible, their friendship solidified even further. A week, just seven days, and it was enough to bring them even closertogether.
By the second week, it became more…natural. Buck couldn’t even remember his life before he had had that baby in his arms. He started to believe it when his friends told him he would do well, that he was a natural. He loved waking up in the morning to the noises she made, especially the ones she made when he pretended to bite her feet while changing her diaper. Buck loved being on the living room floor with her’ Karen had given her a colorful and soft baby rug, and Buck could spend hours there, lying down and playing with her. He loved bathtime’ his daughter definitely loved the water, so bathtime was always a party where Buck sang all of the bath songs he had learned over the past few days. But what he really loved was the time he spent feeding her. Buck just loved having his little girl in his arms as she suckled the bottle, her beautiful, expressive blue eyes locked with his, her tiny hand gripping his finger with all the strength she had. That moment, that one wonderful moment was the part Buck loved most in his life.
Which was why, realizing that the week was nearing its end and that he would soon be going back to work, made Buck’s heartache a little. Not that he didn’t trust Carla; he damn well knew his daughter couldn’t be in more competent hands. But, well… they weren’t his hands.
Bella loved Carla, however. Every day, the woman came to visit while Christopher was at school, even though Buck had said it wasn’t necessary, that she wouldn’t start babysitting until he got back to work. But still, she came every morning, and then in the late afternoon, if Eddie was on a shift, she came back with Christopher and they would go for a walk in the park next to Buck’s building. Those walks were also Buck’s favorite part of the day, mostly because Eddie joined them instead of Carla. They walked side by side, Buck pushing the baby carriage and Eddie carrying two bags on his shoulders - one for Bella and another one with food for them to eat when they arrived at the park-Christopher would go right up front, right next to Bella’s stroller, because he narrated the entire ride for her and always told her some interesting facts he’s learned. Buck couldn’t help but smile knowing the boy had learned that habit from him.
This new routine between them was both strange and normal at the same time; it brought a feeling of peace to Buck that he still couldn’t fully understand. But he liked it, so he just accepted it as it was.
Everything was perfect. Buck may never have imagined this turn of events in his life, but he couldn’t be happier.
Almost two weeks as a father. And like any father, he wanted the best for his daughter, especially when it came to comfort and safety. Which meant that an apartment was not the best housing option for them.
“Hold on, move out of the apartment? But Evan, you love it here !”
“Yeah, but Maddie, look at this place! It’s not an ideal environment for a kid. I know Bella isn’t walking yet, and yes, I also know it’s going to take a while for that to happen. But sooner or later, it will, right? One day, she’ll start crawling and walking, and then this whole apartment will become a trap.”
He walked from the kitchen to the living room with a few snacks in hand while his sister followed him holding drinks, and after they sat on the couch Buck checked that Bella was still sleeping in the stroller and then turned to his sister who was serving them both a glass of wine.
“I know, you’re right. It’s just that everything has been happening so fast for you. A house really is the best idea for you guys.”
“I want my daughter to have everything that I didn’t have, Maddie; what we didn’t have. A house that really feels like home, a big backyard that won’t just be an ornament for the neighbors to see, where she can run and play, a swing and maybe even a treehouse, a pool for her to learn how to swim. Space for a dog; do you remember? We’ve always wanted a dog. I want my daughter to have a childhood she’ll remember with affection, Maddie, with a smile instead of sadness. I want my daughter to be happy.”
“Oh honey, she will be. That little girl will be so happy, big brother. Because she has you for her father. I know we’ve all said that Buck, but I’ll always keep saying it; no one in the world could be a better father than you.”
“Everything I learned was from Bobby and especially from Eddie.”
“Well, then you’ve learned really well. You’re wonderful with Bella. Now, about the apartment…”
“I’ve already contacted a real estate agent, told them everything I’m looking for in a house and an acceptable price I’m willing to pay. Tomorrow, I’m going to see some houses.”
“That was quick!”
“She probably liked my budget.”
“Buck, that day you handed me your credit card and now the house…it was grandpa’s bank account, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah, it’s the bank account where my share of the inheritance was deposited when he died, and all the profits that are deposited from the businesses he left for the family.”
“How much do you have left?”
“Everything! Mostly” Buck shrugged.
“Wait. Everything?! Buck! That’s millions and…”
“I never needed it, Maddie. Grandpa died a few months after I ran away from Hershey; I was already far from here and with a job. At first, after the lawyer managed to get in touch with me, I didn’t want to use the money. I wanted to live and support myself without the help of our family, to show myself that I didn’t need anyone but me.” Buck took a sip of wine and sighed. “And after that, I don’t know, I honestly didn’t need the money. The jobs I took around the world always paid enough to keep me going. I could buy clothes and food, I always had a place to sleep; I didn’t lack anything, so I didn’t use a single dollar of that money. I guess I just forgot, you know? Like I knew it existed, I knew I had the inheritance value and the company profits being deposited every month…I just, I didn’t think about them, I didn’t count on that money to support me.”
“I can’t believe you never used anything. I lost almost everything; Doug bought that huge and ridiculously expensive house, he managed all the money, and when I finally got the courage to run away from him, I managed to get some money out and ran away. After he died, I used what little was left in my account to rent and furnish that apartment.”
“But now it’s just your money, Maddie. Doug may have spent our grandpa’s wealth, but the monthly profit that’s deposited is now yours alone. He can’t use that money anymore; only you can.”
“I know, but sometimes I stop to think about it all and I get so angry, you know? If I hadn’t been so dumb and blind none of this would have happened.”
“Maddie, you can’t keep blaming yourself for the things Doug did. Leave him in the past where he belongs.”
“You’re right. Let’s forget about Doug. Let’s go back to your house; are you excited? Have you told the others?”
“More excited than I thought I would be, but I haven’t told anyone yet, you know, except you.”
“Not even Eddie?”
“No, not about the house and not about the inheritance. But it’s something I’m going to tell everyone as soon as I decide on which property I’m buying. I talked to Carla earlier; she’s staying with Bella tomorrow morning while I take a look at the properties]. I told her I had a few things to take care of and she always comes here after dropping Chris off to class anyway.”
“Oh shit, I’m so mad I have a shift tomorrow; I would love to be able to go with you.”
“I would love that too, but hey, you can help me decorate!”
“I can’t wait!”
House hunting was…definitely more fun than Buck had imagined.
Fun aside, he was concerned with analyzing each house with extreme care, ensuring that at the end of the day he would have decided on the perfect option; the house that would be his daughter’s home, where she would grow up and be raised with all of the love that Buck had dreamed of receiving from his parents, where she would run around and have fun without worrying about being punished just for being a kid. And not just Bella; he also wanted a space where his friends would feel welcomed, a backyard with a good space for lunches and barbecues with the 118, a pool big enough for the kids to play in, and most of all, a place where Christopher would feel happy. t Buck could never choose a house without thinking about Chris and Eddie.
For a long time, Buck’s home had been them; no matter where they were, Buck felt at home whenever he was with Chris and Eddie.
Now, he wanted a place where Chris and Eddie would feel at home, would feel like they belonged. Because they did.
He shrugs. “That may be part of it. I don’t know. And honestly, I’m not paid to know, so I don’t really care. What I care about is growing and helping my trainees to grow.”
“And what would you say your success rate is?”
“I’d say I rank a solid Poppins.”
“… A what?”
He smirks. “Practically perfect in every way.”
You cock your head. “Huh. Didn’t pin you for a Disney guy.”
“Most folks don’t.” He strides toward you and stares down over the shelf of his massive pecs. “So, a few ground rules. You can call me Big Bro, Bro, Sir, or Jeff. Whatever makes you comfortable. When we’re training, I’m going to push you hard. I’m not always so nice as I am in casual conversation. This is a professional relationship, and I expect you to understand that and respect that fact.
“My job is to push you to your limits and help you exceed them. We’re going to be crossing a lot of lines and breaking through a lot of barriers. You’re going to be sore and tired for the first few sessions we have. I’ll be encouraging you to push past that fatigue to increase your endurance and other capabilities. That encouragement can be positive or negative, depending on the situation. I don’t abuse my clients, and the same will hold for you. I mentor them. I train them. I push them. But I will never deliberately hurt them or you. If you turn into a zealot, I will stop you, though. There is such a thing as working out too much. I can help build your body to handle those kinds of loads if that’s the goal, but if you go too far too fast, you’ll do more harm than good. So, I expect you to listen to me and follow my instructions to the letter. Are we clear?”
“As crystal, Sir,” you say with a playful smirk.
Jeff smirks back. “Careful. That just might become a habit.” Then he turns toward the gym proper and a series of mats before a floor-length mirror. A casually waving hand draws you in tow after him. “Come on. We’ll start off with some basic warmups. Stretching, a little cardio. Then we’ll see about setting up a baseline for your plan.”
“My plan?”
“How else am I supposed to train you if I don’t know where to start?”
You look at the mats, where several men and women with varying body types are working either with dumbbells, stress bands, or just testing their flexibility. Some are watched over by muscled figures like Jeff. Others seem to be looking at their neighbors and following together. Some chat playfully or casually. Others remain stony and silent as they focus on their tasks.
“Quite a menagerie here,” you note.
Jeff grins. “Welcome to the zoo, Mister Winters.”
Jeff is definitely not the same kind of man as James or some of his other more muscular employees. His voice and demeanor may be blunt, but his whit is sharp. He might not be a bad connection to form a rapport with here. Time would tell that. For now, however, you decide that at the very least, Jeff is someone that you could grow to like. “Where’s the tiger pen?” you joke back.
TITLE:AND THEN THERE WAS VICTOR (on WATTPAD) AUTHOR: Isabelle Olmo YoungAdult/NewAdult, for cursing and adult themes
Set in the 1990s! Victor Manning has been infuriating Becka since she sat behind him in 7th grade English. He’s cocky, self-centered, obnoxious, and above all, he’s somehow discovered that she has a crush on Clem. His teasing of her crush has her climbing on his car and spelling ASSHOLE with her red lipstick on his windshield. But the end of High School has all of Becka’s friends moving away and she’s stuck going to the local university knowing only Victor.
BOOK 1 OF THE PATTY GIRL SERIES!
———
“You’re welcome,” he said.
“Do me a favor, don’t lend me helping hands.”
“But you got to dance with dashing Clemente,” he glanced at the ballroom. “Cost me a pretty argument but you’re welcome.”
I studied him; he was completely sober, nothing like he was earlier, and I opened my mouth to question him, but he pursed his lips.
“I told you, find yourself someone who says fuck it all and goes after you,” he said. “Aren’t you tired of chasing after Clem?”
“I’m not -”
“Yeah, you are, you’re still chasing,” he smirked and sauntered back into the dancing fray.
His eyes met hers across the table with an intensity she hadn’t seen before. He grabbed hold of her hand. She didn’t see him move but suddenly he was standing in front of her, pulling her off the chair before cupping her face in his hands.
‘This is a bad idea.’ He said quietly.
‘I don’t care.’ She replied, closing the gap between them.
‘We should..’ Jughead trailed off before refocussing. ‘Think. We should think about this.’
Betty shook her head very slightly. ‘No,’ she whispered. ‘I’ve done enough thinking.’
Royal AU. Amidst an escalating border conflict, hopeful allies offer a gift to the youngest son of the powerful, Todoroki royal family: a wife.
“Shouto, Oscana wishes to formalize an alliance. They’ve offered General Yaoyorozu’s daughter.” King Enji Todoroki pushed a series of papers across his desk. He held out a hand, and deposited the girl’s miniature in his son’s palm.
A CHECKERED FLAG AND BURNING IRON – Chapter Three (2.2k)
~ The tale of a Final Girl and life after her starring role, oh, and Gojo’s there too. But for how long will his hand be able to hold on to Her’s when she’s forever changed from who he knew, and can he keep up?
~ A Final Girl/Slasher tale, College AU, Street Racer!Gojo X Outcast/Final Girl!Reader, slow burn
~ Warnings: Minors DNI, Horror/Slasher movie themes and subjects, PTSD, mentions of sexual activity, non-con, kidnapping, bullying, blood, fighting/physical injury
~ Author’s Declaration: The concept of Street Racer! Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, and Ryomen Sukuna are borrowed with permission from Minouyujis (POST)
Chapter Three (word count: 2,282)
Thursday mornings would usually be your day to sleep in a little, as your first class of the day started a bit later than usual. However, Gojo’s Thursdays were longer than yours was. He had an early class, followed by heading down town to spend time with his Father, “Learning the family business” as it were. You would borrow one of Gojo’s shirts and his hoodie for your day, a quick bowl of cereal, and then he would drop you off to your dorm. Although you were half asleep for the drive, thanks to the late time and mental energy race nights took out of you, you and Gojo decided you would move in Friday night. He’d get a hold of some boxes and bags and drop them off later that day for you. You didn’t have much in your dorm that you’d pack, leaving behind bed linen and furniture in case you needed to move back in, getting lucky enough to have a solo dorm, you weren’t going to completely leave it.
Most of your things you could pack up that night, and the last of it you would shove into bags Friday after classes and just before Gojo could come get you. He’d probably come get you in his BMW, as it could actually fit people in the back seats and has a good amount of trunk space. He calls it his most boring car, but it’s what he drives when he has company. You grabbed a to-go morning drink and snack from the café across the street from campus and made it to class just in time. In their usual spots, Haibara and Nanami, with a spot in the middle for you. You and Haibara shared quite a few classes together, so you two became friends. Nanami was on a different course, but shared this one class with the two of you. Becoming friends with them, you learned that they went through all of Middle and High school together.
You’re not sure really how the two of them became so close, as their personalities are quite different. You put it down to “an extrovert adopting an introvert”, like you and Gojo a little bit. You mostly hung out with the three of them in classes, and sometimes lunch breaks, or the odd theatre trip for the latest horror movie. So, you were friends, but not super close, but they were good lads. Pretty clean and tidy, not visiting parties much, not dating anyone (you think). Haibara went to occasional parties, he liked being social, but still kept away from anything too rough. Nanami was so uptight, you’d think he was a robot with flesh at times. But your shared love of horror movies, and how movies are made in general, was the connection you two had. Poor Haibara was a victim of this hobby, he wasn’t one for gore or unhappy endings.
Both had school and part-time jobs, so their time was precious. They were the few in your college life to befriend you. Everyone else wouldn’t give you the time of day, but you liked it that way. While Nanami lectured Haibara about having one’s items in order and ready for the day (again) as he forgot his laptop (again), you half heard the girls in front of you whisper about a classmate who didn’t come home to her sorority house last night and hasn’t been to campus yet. Probably hooked up with a guy from the race last night and is sleeping off a night drinking, you mused.
You and Haibara waved Nanami farewell as he left to the library for his free period, and you two made your way to your next class. It was an uneventful day overall, you met Gojo in the car park after your last class for some boxes and a few duffle bags. He couldn’t stay as his parents wanted a family dinner. He always looked so down just before these types of nights. Gojo has met your parents a few more times than you’ve met his. The rare times you met them, always left a sour feeling in your soul. Like stereotypes, being from rich high-business families, they looked down on you and had plenty of back handed comments. At least they were happy that Gojo was growing out of his playboy ways, but they looked forward to Gojo one day finding someone who would be capable of having a higher status job than they believed you could get to.
As much as you would like to be there to support Gojo through family dinners that disguised lectures about legacy and what’s expected of him, he hated how his parents talked to you and about you. So, you wished him your blessing of strength and told him to message you if he needs a chat. The packing went well, as you received occasional texts from Gojo about wanting to (comically) suddenly self-combust to escape this torment and be your extra crispy marshmallow. The man had a very strange humour to help him though such frustrating moods. You also got messages from Nanami about key take aways from a ‘behind the scenes/movie design’ TV show he would listen to while he studied or worked on papers. You stayed up way later than intended, packing, messaging your boys, and getting distracted on social media. But once the heaviness of your limbs and dry ache of your eyes caught up to you, you threw in the towel. Not much left to pack for tomorrow night, you were excited.
But the morning would quickly turn sour and your plans into a curve. Somewhere between your alarm going off and leaving for your first class, you received messages from quite a few people. All boiling down to a connecting event, the classmate you overheard being talked about yesterday was officially declared missing. Her phone and shoes were found in the woods near the industrial park that this week’s race was held at. You blood was chilled from everyone’s panic. The news articles reporting the stress of the community and police investigation as the last disappearance of a college aged woman was still recent. The recently missing young woman wasn’t in any of your classes, she was a campus princess and head of her sorority house. And a regular track bunny who had a fling with Gojo last year that she never got over. She would encourage some of the bullying and rude comments you got track side, but she would always get called out or sassed by Gojo.
But worse, you knew Gojo would be called in by police as a suspect, again. You parents messaged you in a state of fear, going over what strategies you had in place to never be alone outside of your dorm rooms. Kokochi would be asking if you’re alright and if he should send you some personal protection that he purchased from, well, you really don’t want to know, but you’re sure it would be hella strong. But, maybe, you should take him up on the offer now. Haibara and Nanami said they would walk you to and from your dorms and classes in your group’s group chat, Gojo said he had to go into the station today and couldn’t get anyone to pick you up that afternoon for your planned move. With a bit of messaging around during your first class, Nanami would help you move and Shoko would let you in as she would be home. The energy around campus was just as dreary as the grey clouds that lingered over head all day. Hushed whispers of fear, tense shoulders, no woman daring to walk alone anywhere even during the day. An email from the college stated security would increase soon, but not when or by how much.
Nanami was stiffer and quieter than usual when he came to help you move, he was scared over you. You tried to calm his nerves with jokes and mentions of your plans to not go anywhere alone, but it didn’t do much to chip away at his stone hard focus. Thankfully Shoko was more balanced in her approach to everything. She was excited to have you moving in and helped you get settled in. Setting you up with a key and passwords to get in the house and showing you how the home security system worked. She also would join you in helping you pack your clothes away so you to could get to know each other, and to have a nose at Gojo’s closet. A brighter energy and a spot of fun that helped pick things up from the dark around campus. There was no word yet on when Gojo would get home by late afternoon. You offered to Shoko to at least cook dinner for the house hold, as a way to show you earning your place in the house. It was mostly take-out and Geto’s occasional cooking around here, and finally having access to a proper kitchen meant you could destress and distract yourself on the regular with your hobby of cooking and baking.
Shoko sent Geto on a shopping trip to get a few things you were missing. Oddly, he hadn’t once sent you a rude message or even talked to you since you arrived earlier in the afternoon. You guessed the energy around campus got to him too. You prepped what you could for that night’s dinner of spaghetti bolognaise and meatballs. It’s a recipe of yours that you knew Gojo loved, he claimed that the more carbs and protein, the better for him. Next to his passionate love affair of all things sweet and sugary. Seriously, how does he still have all his teeth? After you and Shoko enjoyed your first dinner together, Geto got take-out and had it in his room, and once the kitchen was cleaned did you finally hear from Gojo. He would be home in an hour or so, and said not to wait up for him in case he was late. Even though you followed his advice and were winding down from the day with your phone in bed, it felt too strange, sleeping in his bed without him there. He thought he would be back by now. You had finally drifted off just as he finally did come home.
The relief that your sleeping form in his bed brought him was brief, as his thoughts of what was burning in his blood from the long day came bubbling back up. Old men droning on and on into him their bullshit theories and ridiculous questioning. He proved everywhere he had been and how he had nothing to do with the recent disappearance. But the frustration and pressure the police and investigators felt was too easy to take out on him. It always broke him down, nearly everyone he knows telling him who they assumed he was or telling him what they assume he is to become. You wouldn’t hear him cry in the shower that night, but you would feel it in his body the next morning when you woke and felt his tight grip on you. You two wouldn’t leave his bed until late in the morning, Gojo refusing to let you move and breathing deeply of you. You could feel the ache in his bones, the fear in his breath, and the tiredness in his eyes. You let him have whatever he needed that morning.
The weekend would have a muted energy to it, getting stuck into study and assignment work would help keep your mind off of things. All the news or posts around social media was of ways for women to stay safe and how to be aware, or, just outright messages of staying home and quiet. Through the week, you could see Gojo repairing his mask piece by piece. Even at your request to skip a race night when one came up in the middle of the week, he threw on a smile and said how he can’t let this beautiful night go to waste. He told you to stay home that night, and he would message you on the way home and pick you up whatever late night treat you wanted. Even though you wanted him to stay home, you felt good that at least parts of him were coming back. He would be racing a few nights that week, but by Friday night, you were feeling cooped up and worn down from the energy still lingering around.
The message for women to stay inside and watch their backs was getting on your last nerve. Like it was their fault they went missing, and not the fault of some psycho you’re sure would get the pity angle from the courts when they’re caught, lawyers painting whoever is responsible as mentally incapable of fully understanding their actions due to trauma or severe mental illness or some other bullshit to get a reduced sentence. All kinds of exaggerated speculation filtered into your head from your imagination finding something convincing you out of other thoughts, but still keeping on topic so you might listen. Enough, you’ve been watching too much tv and reading too many wild fictional stories that your mind is wandering into all kinds of strange territory. You’re just stressed out and tired of being locked in. So, you asked to join Gojo on his Friday night race. He was hesitant for once, normally he drags you out with him. Only on the condition that you would stay with Choso or race in the car with him, were you able to make it out of the house.
This night out would see you thankfully not in the passenger seat with Gojo while he raced, and would see you two return home safe and late. The energy would start to lift around campus just a little over the next few days, but enough for you to breathe a bit more. Gojo even hosted a house party on Sunday night, which you declined to join as the Monday morning after party pain would not be worth it. But this breather would also mean a drop in everyone’s guard far too soon.
Warnings: Description of attempted Assault on the reader
Summary:When Y/N’s art project lands her in Romania she is met with very peculiar circumstances. Such as a weird old man speaking mythical nonsense, murders of both people and animals, an oncoming threat to her life, as well as her mysterious yet very hot next door neighbor with a weird obsession with beetroot juice.
He could just leave… He could just pack up his vacant apartment and flee the country. That is what Bucky told himself. He knew that they were on to him. ‘They’ being Hydra. They made his life hell.
They tortured him for years on end, made him do their dirty work, made him hurt people. Innocent people who didn’t deserve to be hurt. Every life he took haunts him to this day. He tried to reason with himself saying that it was in the name of survival, but he couldn’t help that there might be a darkness in him that he may not ever be able to escape. That is until he met you. You were the light seeping through his brick wall. Not yet breaking it down but showing what possibilities he had if he were to let you in. He craves the warmth your light gives. He would compare it to the sun but now decades later he forgot what it truly felt like. His body was cold and his heart was hardened. He didn’t know if he could ever move past that. The thought that the Sun could cause irreversible damage, it having the possibility of killing him made his heart weep. His sister loved the Sun. You could always find her playing in the light just after a harsh rain. Those were her favorite times. She had a light in her too. That is why he cannot leave. You were here and now you are in danger and he was the one who put you here.
The moment he stepped into your apartment that day he knew they were here. He could smell them. So that day he decided to risk what the two of you had. He asked to use the bathroom to enact his plan of protecting you. He unscrewed the shower head and with a swiftness he quickly put Vervain inside before screwing it again. He even tested the water to see if it worked. It did. It gave him a harsh burning throughout his hand and the smell in the steam that it created burned his eyes and nostrils. He gave the excuse of your perfume and your demeanor changed. He read your mind and could see what he had done. He freaked you out and though it hurt he was thankful that he did. It wasn’t his past that freaked you out. So he guessed that it was better that way. So he left it at that and went to get his next meal. That being said he hadn’t seen you exit your apartment at all. He hadn’t seen you open your door either and it worried him. He didn’t see you on your balcony any more and he knew you use to love sitting in the Autumn air. He could hear your heart beat slow to a calm tempo when you did. When he heard that blood curdling scream he knew you were in danger, but the smell of a new yet familiar scent kept him inside. Once he had sensed that the two were gone he called out to you from the front door. He could have just walked in and unlocked it somehow since he was 'Invited in’ but he didn’t want to scare you even further. He decided to try a new plan to coax you out of your shell. He decided to go to the market and pick up some apples and flower and other things that are required to bake.
He decided to make his mothers old apple pie. Even though it has been over 70 years since he has seen her he remembered this recipe. It was a request that he and his sister as well as his old best friend Steve always asked for. He also wanted to give back to you. You have been nothing but kind to him and all he has been is skeptical. So he whipped all the ingredients together and has to wait maybe an hour or so before it is done. He doesn’t even know if you like apple pie or apples in general so he can only hope. As he waits he listens for you. He listens to the sound of your heart beat, to the sound of your breath, to everything. He knows it seems weird but he has this urge to protect you. He hears you shuffling around your room now. He hears you opening the door to your bedroom and he only hopes you stay out of your room just long enough for him to give you what he made. He must have been so lost in thought that time had passed and the pie was done. He quickly got the pan out using oven mitts and fans it with his hands trying to cool it down. He quickly gathers it onto a bigger tray so it is easier to hold without dropping it and heads outside and to your apartment. He knocks gently on the door as to not scare you
You jump at the slight knock and creep as slowly as possible to the door. Your roommate wouldn’t have knocked she would have walked right in. You think to yourself. 'What if it was the other guy? Brock I think his name was…’ You look through the peephole and see a familiar cap and brown jacket clad man. You make sure the chain is still on the latch attached to your door before opening it. “What do you want…” You ask quietly. James was silent for a moment. “I realized that I may have scared you the other day… You have always been so nice to me so I thought…” He moves the pie into frame and you look at it in confusion. “I thought you would like it… It’s my ma’s recipe.” He says slowly. You give him a small smile before shutting the door and unlatching the chain before opening it again. You open it wider to allow him to walk in. “Sorry I guess I have been a little on edge…” You say. “I uh… I heard you scream the other day. Were you okay? I came to check on you and you didn’t…” You shiver at the memory and cross your arms over your chest. “I… I-” You begin to curl in on yourself and walk into the kitchen. James follows after shutting the door and locking it before following you. “I don’t feel safe here anymore…” You say with a sniffle. “I-I am really scared and I don’t know what to do…” You say and James looks uncertain on what to do. “Would you like to talk about it?” He asks and you hesitantly nod. “My roommate has been acting weird ever since you brought over those flowers… She would stand outside my door and just wait…” You walk up to the counter and lean your back against it and face him. “I could hear her breathing through the door… I haven’t had good sleep in a few days…” You say rubbing your arms trying to comfort yourself. “A-And then the day you came over and left I decided I needed to take a shower… I walked out to see this man in my apartment…” You voice begins to raise up in pitch as you tell your story. “He went on about how d-delicious I looked and chased me… I was so scared. I was only in a towel and nearly fell a few times. I got a knife to defend myself but as he grabbed me he seemed to have burned himself somehow…” You reach over to your left arm and rolled up the sleeve to see the bruise he had given you. “It was awful… I have no idea what would have happened if my roommate wasn’t their… But she didn’t seem to care at all.” You feel tears begin falling down your cheeks as you try to wipe them away. James who has been listening intently raises and hand out to comfort you but you hold up a hand. “No… Please don’t touch me right now.” James nods in understanding and stays in his place.
You shake it off and wipe your eyes. “A-Any way… Let’s have some pie!” You say with a smile and he nods sending a small smile back to you. You turn around and get a knife from the block and hand it to him. You go over to the microwave and get the paper plates from the top of it and set it next to him. He cuts two slices as you set out silverware as well. Once the pieces are set you wait for him to take a bite. “It’s strange how tables have turned.” He says in a slight teasing tone as he takes the first bite. once you see that he isn’t choking or showing signs of dying you take a bite and hum in delight. You quickly swallow before asking. “This is really good! I didn’t know you could bake!” You say and he nods. “My ma taught me…” He says with a sad smile. “Where is your mother?” You ask and he shakes his head. “She died a while ago.” You frown and sigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I wou-” “It’s alright I have come to accept it.” He says with a small smile. You wonder what a genuine one looked like. He was already very handsome so you couldn’t help but wonder.“ You see his face flush red and you cock your head to the side. "Everyth-” “Where are your parents?” He asks and you nod. “Oh! Uh… They live in (Y/C) (Your Country). I guess you can say I am pretty far from home.” You say with a chuckle. He nods. “Yeah… Seems so. What made you come to Romania?” He asks and you sigh. “College… I am an Art History major. I love art and Romanian Folk Art has always caught my eye.” You say excitedly. “So as an assignment I am meant to write an essay and paint, draw, or whatever for an assignment. I just haven’t found the right subject yet.” You both take a bite of your pie. “Is it suppose to be in the Romanian style or?” You shake your head. “it is mainly our experience here. Something that spoke to me while experiencing the culture… I haven’t been able to do much of that though…” You mumble and he nods. “I just don’t feel safe here… I can’t tell my family because if I do they will want me to come home… This is a huge percent of my grade. I can’t go home yet!” You say with determination. James nods and takes another bite.
He begins to speak when there is a sudden jingle of keys. “Shit their back!” You exclaim. “You can’t be here!” You say and quickly grab his wrist. You pull him in the direction of your room and he pauses at the doorway. “Come on in! Hurry!” You exclaim and he walks in. You shut and lock the door and listen. You can hear two sets of footsteps and your breathing becomes labored. “Y/N!” You hear your roommate call out. You move away from the door and over to your window. You are only on the second floor of the building. “I’m sorry for kicking you out but you can’t be here!” You whisper shout. James nods and walks over to your window. “I… You don’t feel safe here. I don’t want to leave you alone here.” He says as you open the window. “Bu-” “What if that man comes back?” James asks. “I don’t want you to get hurt…” He says and you look down and away. “My roommate doesn’t like visitors… I will bring your pie tray back to you when I am done. Please leave…” You say sadly. You felt bad. This is the most he has ever talked to you and out of fear you are kicking him out. James nods and walks over to the window and dangles his feet out of it. He turns to you and hands you a piece of paper before jumping out the window. You look out at him then back at the paper. The paper reads:
'I hope the pie tastes good, Here is my number if you need anything. (xxx) xxx-xxxx’
You blush and smile before shutting the window. You go and sit by the door and listen until the footsteps stop. You then hear the familiar sound of your roommates breathing from outside the door and shiver. You sit there as it will be another night without sleep.
Through closed eyelids, she could still feel the light beaming through the glass window; washing over everything in the room; including her physiognomy. Her arm extended against the mattress; as though she was blindly searching for the contact of cool skin under her fingertips.
But, all she did was graze over the washed out duvet cover. Blinking rapidly, she carefully slipped her eyes open, arching her back as she stretched- like a slender cat equipping herself for a heavy day out on the cobbled streets of Trost.
She had memorized the room’s layout all too well; every single detail etching itself into the back of her brain as she recollected the heated position she had been placed in by Captain Levi. Gingerly, Eden pressed her fingertips against her lips; the taste of him still lingering, the softened flesh cracked and bruised.
According to her muddled up thoughts; she had passed out in the bed after being gifted with the carnal opportunity of kissing Captain Ackerman. The thought of his blown-out pupils gazing down at her in such a wanton way made heat rush through her body like adrenaline; despite the fact that she had only just woken up a few minutes prior.
The harnesses lay draped over the armchair; her body clothed with just her shirt and her pants. Eden was way too anxious to remove her clothing during the night; afraid that Levi’s glinting, silver eyes would scorch her body and she’d give in way too easily.
Resting her back against the headboard; she looked through the window with a blank look painted on her face; her knees pressed against her chest. She wondered where he had gone; whether he regretted it all, whether he wanted more.
Whether he was feeling the same way she was.
The front door creaked open and the sound of boots resonated through the spacious room. Eden’s eyes flitted towards the motion; only to be met with Levi’s uniformed back as he moved to close the door behind him.
Once he turned back in her direction; his eyes widened at the feline look that bore through him. He had two teacups in his hand; the steam grazing across his palms as it ascended out from the liquid.
“I brought you tea.” Levi spoke first in a low voice as he stalked across the room; gently handing Eden one of the teacups before lowering himself to sit beside her.
“Thank you,” she replied, shyly accepting the beverage with an unsteady hand and flustered cheeks. Levi regarded her intently through hooded eyes as her lips pressed against the orifice of the cup.
The tea was sweet and fruity- almost floral. Her stomach flipped when Levi rested his hand on the top of her knee.
Putting the teacup back onto the saucer resting on the nightstand; Eden perked up against the headboard, amber eyes glued to dull leaden-blue ones. His hand began trailing up her thigh. Her lungs begged for air as her heart grew stuck in her throat; lips parting slightly.
“I liked watching you struggle under me last night,” Levi breathed out; the hand on her thigh growing stronger. His words were like molten lava flaming her entire body up.
Levi swiftly used the grip on her body to pull her downwards, her head falling back into the pillows. Within a matter of seconds, he moved his body to tower over her, the darkened glint in his eyes revealing carnal fantasies making Eden’s own eyes widen. His knee pressed in between her legs as he lowered his head; promptly capturing her lips with his. She hissed at the sensation of his knee brushing against her; her arms snaking around his neck as she deepened the kiss.
His lips were gentler as opposed to the kisses he had peppered her with the night before. They were silky and smooth; but sharp enough to slice through the built-up tension in the room. Letting out a low, guttural groan, Eden’s body arched into him as his hand roamed her body over her clothes. His fingertips dragged painfully slowly over the curve of her breast, following the path along her slender waist before finally settling to squeeze her hip.
Eden let out another softened mewl against his lips when his own hips brushed against hers and his kisses grew more brutal. Her sweet sounds caused the Captain to hiss in pleasure against her lips; teeth sinking into her bottom lip.
“You’re being a tease,” the girl groaned as he sucked on her lip, a subdued growl reverberating out of him as he slipped his eyes shut.
“Where’s the pleasure in the lack of torture, brat?” His cool fingers raked through her hair before tucking on the locks lightly; causing her chin to jut out to the side. He used her angled head to kiss her neck; deeply enjoying the way Eden’s eyes fluttered closed, her fingers gliding over his sharp undercut.
Eden felt like time was slipping through her fingers in such a rapid pace. It was like the next breath she took was about an hour later; when both her and the Captain’s lips were bruised and swollen.
He left her to change in peace and as Eden clasped the hook of her green cape around her neck, the scent of his cologne overwhelmed her senses once more. Every little flicker of her eye, every pant she took, every sensation that garnished her fingertips caused her to immediately think back to him.
She had never known what the term ‘forbidden fruit’ had meant until she was met with Levi’s cold lips.
Much to her surprise, Levi had offered to take her out on a tour around Trost. Albeit the painful memories of her first battle within this district playing out behind her eyes; she accepted, listening intently to the way the Captain informed her about another, undisclosed task that was hushed-up between himself and Commander Erwin.
Walking side-by-side, Eden refrained from asking why he had made her wait for him outside a sketchy pub. He came back out hastily, his eyes disinterested and narrowed- the clench of his jaw revealing that whomever he had met with inside the establishment, had also left him with a bitter taste on his tongue.
The passers stole nervous glances at the two soldiers; but neither of them paid any attention as they walked along the paved streets of the busy district.
“I remember this area. I believe this was the place you and I met for the first time,” Eden broke the comfortable silence, extending an arm to indicate the familiar rooftop from which she had sprinted off in order to save her friends from an impending death during the Battle of Trost.
Levi’s eyes flickered towards the highlighted region before letting out an agitated sigh, his eyes shifting away quickly. “Yes. I had only known you for perhaps less than thirty seconds and your temerity managed to piss me off beyond anything.”
Eden huffed under her breath, running a hand through her hair in irritation. She didn’t know what had possessed her to loop an arm around his when he quickened his pace.
But, she couldn’t ignore the way Levi’s body stiffened. His steps grew slower and the way they walked so close to one another caused their capes to mangle and brush with each step.
They strode back towards the lodging; but Levi redirected their strides in a different direction. It was narrow, colder and darker than the sunny, open streets they had previously walked through.
“A shortcut,” was all he had said in response to the quizzical look he felt pierce through the side of his face.
Within the darkened alleyway; Eden’s heart began racing as she imagined an opportunity to feel his lips against hers once more arise. As if he could read every single fleeting thought in her head, Levi grabbed the arm laced through his; pressing her up against the cold wall with a thud.
No time was wasted on words as his mouth found hers urgently, as though her lips were the only source of water in the entire district. His palms lay against either side of her face as he drank her in; his body leaning against hers when Eden’s knees threatened to give out. Her nails dragged against the path of his neck as she called for him softly, her brows laced together revealing just how much pleasure Levi’s touch was bringing her.
Her tongue dragged itself against his bottom lip, tasting the sweetness of the tea he was previously drinking. There was something about the way Levi’s lips tasted that left Eden feeling utterly intoxicated.
The Captain pulled away from her swiftly, his breathing unsteady, his pupils blown out. His lips curled up lightly in a wicked smirk as he watched Eden’s messed-up persona- her mangled locks, parted lips and drunken look on her face.
“Don’t you think your disheveled appearance calls for punishment, brat?” Levi’s dull voice rippled through the silence, causing Eden to straighten up and arch a brow at him.
She glided her palms over her uniform, clearing her throat under his scrutinizing stare. “What happens when my appearance is solely caused by your doings, Captain?”
The smirk deepened, the twitches in his jaw visible in the darkness and he stepped forward, brushing his fingers through her hair.
Shoving the strands behind her ear, he leaned in, the sensation of his iced lips scraping her ear sending chills along the path of her spine. “That means you have no one to go sob to if I ever decide to discipline you for it, Chiasa.”
Riding back to the Headquarters was comforting. They eased into a relaxing conversation and Eden’s cheeks would flush ever so often. Her horse stood galloping within close proximity to the Captain’s and the glacier winds grazed her face, numbing it completely.
“You can be honest and admit to enjoying my company, Captain,” Eden asserted through a large grin, the corners of her amber eyes crinkling when Levi glanced in her direction.
“Tch,” he scoffed, but his somewhat nonchalant mask revealed how unbothered he was by her playful demeanor. “If you’re just trying to rank up by messing around with your Captain, that’s not how it works, brat.”
His snarky response caught the girl off-guard and she let out a high-pitched, sheepish laugh. Levi’s head snapped back towards her; staring at her in wonder. This was perhaps the first time Eden had let out a hearty, full and raw laugh.
She cringed at herself, lowering her head, allowing her hair to curtain her blazing cheeks.
“But, we do make a good team,” Levi spoke once more, easing his horse into a slower gallop as soon as its pants began ringing through the wilderness.
“Oh? I apologize for the confusion, but was that a compliment?” Eden inquired, finally lifting her head after taming the blossoming blush that had engraved itself into her skin.
The Captain hummed flatly over the clattering sound of hooves. After a long pause, his deep voice asserted itself into the space between them. “Take it as you will. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if you stopped doubting everything I say to you.”
Eden chewed on her bottom lip as she listened to his voice. It was like she was in trance, afraid to think about how quickly she’d agree to any sort of order Levi sends her way.
Lost in the vortex of her thoughts, the girl nearly missed the words that slipped through his lips.
Nearly.
“I don’t like seeing you with Kirstein.”
It was so out of the blue, Eden couldn’t respond to him immediately. Silence settled around them as the sun slowly began descending into its usual space for slumber.
“What do you mean?” Her eyes were trained ahead of her, her knuckles growing white as the palms holding onto her horse’s reins became increasingly dampened with sweat.
“It’s hard to believe you’re actually this dense, Eden,” Levi countered, his own knuckles growing paler as he finally urged his horse to gallop faster. Eden followed him, trying her best to match his pace.
“Anyway,” he continued coolly, the shift in his demeanor causing Eden to physically become overwhelmed with dread. “That’s all I wanted to say.”
“Jean is just a friend,” she replied in irritation, very much aware of the way his head craned back towards her, eyes narrowed and filled with displeasure.
“Didn’t seem like that when I caught you two in the stables. Or when I came to visit you in the infirmary…-”
“I’ll have you know, Captain,” she sliced through his words, lucid rage overwhelming her as each syllable trickled out of his mouth.
“Jean and I are just friends. Yes, we’ve had our moments, but that was it. Just moments. And when you saw him with me in the medical quarters; it’s because he came to tell me he couldn’t do anything with me anymore. He also let me in on the fact that it was not his name I called out when he saved me from the titan…it was yours.” She took a deep breath before her furrowed brows raised. “Still feeling jealous?”
He didn’t respond. In fact, Levi didn’t even look at her. His gaze was focused straight ahead at the forthcoming sight of the familiar trees surrounding their base.
After a while, all he did was scoff.
Arriving back at the headquarters was very anticlimactic.
Levi was back to being cold and butthurt and Eden could only seethe in silence. He strapped his horse away in the stables and stalked off, not even shedding Eden a single flicker of eye contact.
Despite the irritation coiling inside her body, the girl continued on with her day as usual- going to greet her friends and spend some time with Sasha and Connie.
Sometime later in the afternoon, the sensation of overthinking ebbed at her consciousness way too much for her to handle. So, balling her palms into fists, Eden marched towards the Corporal’s office.
Just as her knuckles were about to rap against his door for the very first time; it creaked open, and she was met with Levi’s widened eyes.
“Ah. I was just looking for you, brat.”
She blushed, lashes flickering downwards as the color painted her cheeks sweetly. Following him back inside the office, her stomach was plagued with butterflies that never stopped fluttering around. Levi abruptly spun back to face her; his eyes glinting with a strange flame that lay unknown in Eden’s book.
“I wanted to give you something,” he murmured, stepping closer to her. “Close your eyes.”
Eden watched at him with wide eyes, unsure as to how she had to react. Levi’s head tilted to the side, the longer strands of raven-hair in sync with his movements. “Do you trust me?”
She swallowed hard and barely managed to utter out a weak- “Sure?”
His nod was the last thing she saw before slipping her eyes shut; nervousness overwhelming her. She listened to the way his boots echoed around the office; the sound of a door creaking open. Her palms grew sweaty and her heart was racing.
His footsteps began growing closer, until she felt his presence burst through her personal space. “Give me your hand,” he instructed her in a creamy smooth tone that sent chills through her bloodstream.
Eden did exactly that, feeling the way his fingers gripped at her wrist, guiding her hand outwards. She stiffened when her own fingers captured something that had the texture of hardened wood. Pulling her hand away, she jumped back, as though she had been burnt with fire. Levi was watching her intently, a broomstick in hand.
“Go clean the stables.”
Her dumbfounded expression was the only thing filling the silence for a very long moment. “Are you being serious right now?”
Levi cocked a brow as he stepped forward, handing her the broomstick once more. “Am I ever ‘not serious’ about cleaning?”
With a huff and the clench of her teeth, Eden snatched the broom out of his grasp before stalking out of his office- feeling even more outraged.
Cleaning seemed to do justice to her nerves. Being surrounded by nothing but dirt and things that needed to be organized tended to Eden’s thoughts and slowly she began feeling like each time she straightened out one part of the stables; another slice of her anger wore off somewhere into the distance.
Not long after, gentle footsteps brushed against the stable floor, a sweet voice pulling Eden out of her daydreams.
“Mikasa,” she greeted her childhood best friend warmly, walking over to rapidly throw her arms around her.
The girl returned the sudden embrace before grabbing her by the shoulders, onyx eyes taking in her ragged appearance.
“What happened? How was the mission?”
Eden’s ears quickly grew red as she stepped back, nervously laughing. “What do you mean? Everything went fine? Why would you ask me that, heh…”
Her defensive demeanor did not go unnoticed by the 104th Training Corps’ top soldier who in turn narrowed her eyes at the girl. Mikasa quirked a brow and a low sigh escaped through Eden’s lips.
“The change of setting was pleasant. Everything went well. But, the man we met with was disgusting. He kept sending the most vile remarks my way; I don’t even wanna think about it. He was just gross.” She cringed at the memory as she spoke.
Mikasa glared at her friend, her arms folding across her chest. “And what? Captain Shorty just stood there and said nothing? Unbelievable…-”
“No no no!” Eden quickly interrupted her, rubbing the back of her neck as her cheeks grew pink. “He was the one who stepped in and warned Reeves not to speak to me like that. It was a nice gesture…”
The girl opposite her stared into amber eyes, her own black ones widening as she extended one hand to point at her. “What’s with that look on your face, Eden?”
Eden pursed her lips, trying her best to calm any raging blush that tried settling against her skin. “What look, Mikasa? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Blackened jewels for eyes narrowed even more. “You’re an open book to me; don’t forget that.”
The sound of approaching boots crunched against the pebbles. Eden frowned deeply and Mikasa turned to glance behind her shoulder. Giving Eden’s arm a gentle squeeze, the female Ackerman gave her a faint smile before stepping away.
“You’ll tell me about him when you’re ready.”
Both Ackerman soldiers stiffly nodded as they passed each other. Eden stared at the Captain that inched closer; his bored stare bouncing from one surface to another. She waited for him to say something, but the man took his sweet time checking the stables and her work.
“Did I do something wrong?” She finally couldn’t take it anymore, her frown carefully turning into a scowl as her eyes followed his moves.
Levi slowly turned back to face her, his eyes finally resting against the frame of her face. “Yeah. Your cleaning is atrocious. Go over everything again.”
Eden watched him walk away with her mouth wide open. When she was sure he was definitely out of sight, she swore loudly before kicking a bucket of water across the brushed-out ground.
Whatever. I gotta redo everything, anyway.
An hour later, he was back. His eyes were a softer shade of grey, but he still maintained his distance, much to Eden’s growing displeasure.
With a tight nod, Levi approved her cleaning before jutting his chin towards the exit. “Let’s go. We’ll debrief with Commander Erwin.”
She sulkily followed him out of the stables, albeit the way her heart melted when he sent her a sideways glance that disappeared as quickly as it arrived.
This time, the Corporal led her into an unfamiliar office. The layout was definitely similar to Levi’s office; but the window behind the desk was larger and grander. Deep down, Eden preferred the comforts of Levi’s meticulously sterilized office more than Erwin’s one.
The Commander stood to his feet when the pair walked in, brushing Eden’s salute away nonchalantly. His full height intimidated Eden and it took all within her not to visibly shrink in her boots.
“Captain Levi…soldier Chiasa…it’s good to see you’re back. I can safely assume everything went according to plan?”
“Nothing we couldn’t handle,” Levi drawled out, scowling deeply at the way Erwin’s lips curved into a impish smirk. Eden chose to look down at her boots as Levi summarized the gist of their assignment to the attentive Commander who had leaned back down into his chair, his elbows resting against the wood of his desk, fingers linked together.
His brows raised at the mention of Reeves’ attitude towards Eden. “When I send my Scouts out on a mission; I do not intend for such things to happen. However, sometimes it’s inevitable as there are all sorts of animals- not only beyond the walls; but within them too. And for that, I feel the need to apologize to you, Eden.”
Her cheeks pinkened and she immediately looked down at the floor once more. “I understand that as soldiers, not all situations are pleasant. Regardless of whether it’s during a fight with a titan or when it’s just having a simple conversation with a merchant. Thank you, Commander, but you don’t need to apologize. Captain Levi stepped in and put him in his place, anyhow.”
When Eden looked up, she saw the same devious smirk plastered against Erwin’s features. His ocean eyes glinted under the faint light emitted from the several oil lamps situated around the room. She even got the chance to notice Levi’s sharp glower that was directed towards the blond man.
Erwin nodded and muttered something under his breath, his eyes flickering off the Captain and onto the perplexed girl. “Isn’t that wonderful? Well, thank you for the information and your presence. You’re dismissed, soldier. Levi, please stay behind.”
Clasping her fist over her heart, Eden bid both men a good evening before walking out of the office hastily.
Walking through the corridors, her mind couldn’t stop rewinding the look that was carved onto Erwin’s face; the twinkle in his eyes, the stretched out smirk against his lips and the way his eyes kept holding the Corporal’s stare before flickering back to her.
Whether it was her nerves blended with the anxiety of the upcoming mission; or the butterflies ravaging her from the inside-out, Eden could not sleep that night.
Perhaps, she managed to rest her eyes for three and a half hours or so, spending most of her time curling around in her bed; listening to the piercing songs of the grasshoppers outside her window.
When they began quieting down, the fatigued girl slipped one almond eye open; watching as the dawn sky began growing lighter. It was still dark outside, the air cool and crisp; and Eden wanted to make sure she was up and ready to go before Captain Levi could find a reason to be irritated with her.
Shoving the covers off her body; she hastily got ready, spending a meticulous amount of time swearing under her breath as she fastened her hooks over her body, tightening them a breath away from asphyxiation.
She pulled her hair into her usual tight bun as she made her way down the somber staircase- the eerie silence deafening and thick around her. Eden wondered whether the Captain was awake yet; or if he had even gotten a chance to sleep that night.
Both her and Levi’s horses were still secured inside the stables. Rubbing their muzzles, Eden spoke to them softly, telling them that they’ll need to prepare for yet another assigned expedition. Her horse whinnied at her words; whilst Levi’s ink-colored horse stood solemnly staring back at her.
“Even your horse is moody, gosh,” she muttered under her breath, holding the reins of both creatures as more sunshine began spreading evenly across the terrain.
Her pacing grew slower at the sight of Levi emerging from the front doors of the HQ. The longer strands of coal hair stood pushed behind his ears whilst the shorter ones perfectly framed his face.
His tired eyes settled against her approaching figure as he continued making his way towards Eden; his uniform well-pressed as always, whilst the green cape flowed with the gentle breeze.
“Good morning, Captain,” Eden spoke up first, eyes shifting from his metal ones over to the darkened circles painted underneath them. He looked so strained and tired, it made Eden’s heart falter for a split moment.
“Morning.”
“I brought you your horse. I figured we can start heading to Trost as soon as possible in order to retrieve the report,” the girl chirped, her eyes glinting as she extended the hand holding his horse’s reins.
Levi’s eyes dropped to her hand, slowly craning his own hand towards the harness.
“Sure,” he replied rigidly and as much as Eden was irritated by his cold exterior; she couldn’t help but feel her insides warm up at the tender brush of their fingers once he took the reins out of her grasp. They lingered, even if it was for a split moment and it was enough for Eden to relax and smile at him warmly.
The Captain’s brows furrowed at the younger girl before turning around, softly calling for his horse to follow. Eden chewed the skin on her bottom lip, trailing after the Captain and his beautiful horse.
After they both checked that everything was intact and settled against the saddles, Levi whipped his head in Eden’s directly; his soft lips pursed into a thin line.
“I have faith that you will not disappoint me,” he told her in a clipped tone, pulling the hood over his head.
Eden nodded her head in affirmation; heated hazel eyes never leaving Levi’s jeweled hues. “I hope to never do such a thing,” she replied meekly, earning a nod from him in response. He seemed satisfied with her words, albeit the mask that remained intact against his hardened features.
The girl swore to herself that she would do anything to see his physiognomy tamed, peaceful and soft. She knew deep down, that her heart would simply burst as the image of a gentle-looking Levi.
She took one last glance at the headquarters before it disappeared behind a thick wallpaper of forest trees.
Eden would always be a sentimental creature.
Their horses strode along the pathway in silence; both individuals trying their best to focus their gazes ahead. Eden would always try to sneak a glance at the Captain’s sunken face when he wasn’t looking.
But, unbeknownst to her, Levi was very good at picking up on every little detail happening around him. Regardless, he decided he would let her assume she was being enigmatic; the ghost of a light smile threatening to pull at the corner of his lips.
Eden tried to strike up a conversation before giving up entirely. She was too tired and feared that she’d say something out of line, which would subsequently pull Levi into an even gloomier mood. And, she felt perfectly comfortable basking in the silence, listening to their horses’ hooves clattering against the ground.
Whether it was due to the lack of sleep or the sudden memories of the previous expedition flooding through her mind; Eden could vouch that from the corner of her eye; she caught sight of a titan. She panicked, pulling at her reins rapidly; causing her own horse to sense her fear; rearing its forelegs off the ground.
She fell off the saddle with a thud, wincing at the way her elbow collided with the ground. Her lungs begged for air as she gasped out loud, squeezing her eyes shut at the sudden assault of colors before her eyes. Eden grew very nauseous.
After a split moment; a set of cold hands pressed against her, awkwardly holding her off the floor. She looked up as Levi irritably clicked his tongue; gently urging her to sit up. He crouched beside her, one of his knees brushing against the outside of her thigh as he steadied himself on the terrain.
“Are you hurt?” He asked, almost impatiently as his eyes searched her body, fingers prodding against the bones in her arm.
“I’m okay, I just thought I saw something,” Eden replied grimly, rubbing her elbow as she looked away, fearful that he’d notice the way her cheeks grew pinker at his touch.
Levi sturdily pulled her to her feet, his hands lingering against her arms for a moment longer. “Well, be careful, brat. I understand it could be overwhelming for you after everything that happened; but now is not the time to lose track of your focus.”
She timidly bobbed her head in affirmation, “I’m sorry, Captain. It won’t happen again.” Her fingers grazed over his fist that still gripped her by the elbow. Levi let go off her timidly, pursing her lips as his eyes washed over her; inspecting her one final time.
“Well, unless you’ve got any more surprises hidden in your sleeve, I suggest we continue. We should be there soon.” He marched back towards his horse, turning to glance back at her after settling against his saddle.
With plump lips pressed into a thin line; Eden followed his suit, masking a snort behind a breathy sigh after his words reached her ears.
Sauntering through the Trost District made Eden feel highly uncomfortable. All the stares directed towards their dark emerald-colored capes made her palms grow sweaty as she wordlessly guided her horse to follow Levi’s direction.
The girl continued silently following her superior’s orders when he asked her to tend to the horses before disappearing into a tall, luxurious-looking building. She stroked their muzzles, gently letting them know they would be able to rest in a moment’s time. After securing them in the designated stables; she clasped her hands behind her back, walking in the direction that Levi had disappeared in.
Stepping into the building was overwhelming. People craned their necks to scrutinize the soldier with the ‘Wings of Freedom’ patch against the fabric of her cloak. Clicking her jaw, Eden pushed all the staring out of her mind and headed towards Levi.
His back was facing her and once she reached him; she immediately recognized the utterly disinterested stare that was etched against his features. A short, balding, overweight man shifted his stare from the Captain onto Eden.
One of his brows arched as a vile smile carved itself below his this mustache; framed by the hairs of his beard.
“Dimo Reeves. I didn’t know pretty girls like you enrolled in the military. Especially with the Survey Corps. What a shame, really.” He extended his hand towards Eden, capturing her palm before she could react.
She snatched her hand away as soon as he pressed his lips against her knuckles, her scowl revealing just how repulsed she was by his attitude.
“There’s nothing shameful in devoting your life in order to see change, sir.” Eden sharply retaliated, wiping the back of her hand against her trousers as Reeves continued stared at her through darkened brown eyes.
Levi remained quiet, his chiseled jaw tight and unmoving; his eyes never faltering off of the greedy businessman.
“If you say so, doll. Now if you follow me, we can discuss the matters concerning your visit in a more private setting.” Reeves gestured towards the extravagant hallway behind him; eyes continuously flickering towards Eden.
She felt her teeth grind together in her mouth, palms trembling due to the anger. Her bloodstream had become a cocktail blended with adrenaline and she tried her best to lower her head and avoid his probing eyes as her and Levi followed him down the hallway.
“Allow me to confirm, Dimo, we are not here to waste time on your bargains. You’ve contacted the Scout Regiment regarding undisclosed titan information. Let us know what you want in return and I’ll decide whether it’s worth the risk,” Levi said in a bored voice, his arms crossed against his chest as he stood in front of Dimo Reeves’ cluttered desk; with Eden standing closely behind him.
She could feel the stares of the other two acquaintances as they loomed on either side of Reeves’ chair; narrowed eyes glaring at the soldiers in distaste.
It took all within Eden not to glare back at them, instead, focused on training her face into a blank expression, lacking any emotion. Much like Levi’s everyday physiognomy.
“Ah, yes, of course,” Reeves responded, craning his head downwards as his chubby fingers retrieved a cream-colored folder out of one of his drawers. He threw the folder against the papers scattered against his desk. “It’s a known fact that you soldiers are desperate for any drop of information. I stumbled upon these documents disclosing personal findings on the topic of titans.”
Levi snatched the documents off the table, his nose scrunching in disgust at the mess. His grey eyes rapidly skimmed across the information ebbed in ink on paper. Eden remained silent beside him, her head facing forward whilst her own eyes rested against the papers in Levi’s hands.
“A diary? How are we supposed to know whether this is coming from a reliable source?” Levi growled in irritation, placing the documents back onto the desk nonchalantly. Reeves’ eyebrows shot up as he quickly straightened into his seat.
“It is reliable information. I was going through some of our personal belongings in the family vault and stumbled upon this report. Quite frankly, we Reeves’ men never keep something unless we know we can capitalize on it at one point in life. And since I have absolutely no interest in venturing beyond the walls, I offer you a deal.”
Levi tipped his head to the side; dull, narrowed eyes glaring intensely at the merchant.
Reeves continued hastily. “Captain, you can keep this diary and utilize the information within it for whatever way you desire and in return; I only ask for your assistance with protection if by any chance; another titan attack bestows our district.”
The pause was thick with tension as Levi contemplated his words carefully. The weight of these pages could potentially cost them a fortune; but perhaps it was worth it.
He nodded slowly at the businessman. “Very well. If there is indeed an unexpected attack, the Scouts will ensure your protection. However, that does not mean that in that moment; we will be risking the civilians’ lives in order to save yours. In addition to that, I’ll have you know that if we do take this report with us and we find out that it was all a farce; you better beg we never meet again.”
Reeves let out a nervous chortle, placing his hand over his heart. “Times are tough, you know. Gotta be prepared for everything. And, I would never risk our civilians’ lives for the sake of saving my own.” Levi huffed in response.
“I see we have a deal. You’re welcome to stay for a cup of tea with your little soldier whore. I’d love to get to know her a little better,” Reeves replied, licking his lips as he stared up at Eden.
Her lips parted as she prepared to throw a snarky response back at him; only to have Levi beat her to it. “Refrain from talking to her in such a sleazy way. It doesn’t suit you and it’s inappropriate.” He stepped closer towards the desk, fingers picking up the report as irritated eyes settled onto the businessman’s angered face.
“Captain Ackerman; I never took you for the possessive type of man. I assumed that you’d be willing to share delights like this. You can color me disappointed.”
Albeit the aggravation taking over his mind entirely; Levi chose to turn away towards the door. Levi’s jaw clenched tightly.
“I’ll be more than willing to color you black and blue if you keep this up. I’d rather willingly give myself over to the titans than to sit here and have tea with you. Thank you for the report.” His demeanor was cool and intimidating; voice low and absolute. It sent chills down Eden’s spine as she tailed after him; ignoring the sensation of Reeves’ eyes checking her out from head to toe as she slammed the door of his office shut.
Her stomach flipped in distaste as she continued glaring out into the nighttime. Levi’s eyes flickered off the pages and onto her figure. He was sitting in an armchair in the shared room they were forced to rent for the night due to the worsening weather. He had said it was either that or camping out in the wilderness. Naturally, Eden picked the luxuries with a shared bed through gritted teeth.
“What happened, brat? Why are you being so sulky?”
Her head whipped back to look at him before she let go of an exasperated sigh. Shaking her head, she bit her tongue, pulling the hair tie off her head; massaging her fingers over her skull.
The more she thought about Reeves and his words; the more frustrated she became. And it was unfortunate enough that the only person she could reveal her irritations to is Captain Levi.
“Why are you being so stubborn? I asked you a question,” Levi inquired once more, putting the papers down before resting his forearms against his knees; glaring up at her.
“Do you agree with what Reeves called me?” She barked the question at him a little too viciously; her bottled emotions filled to the brim.
His silver eyes widened slightly, lips parting in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
Eden pushed her body off the wall as she stood in front of him, her slender arms folding in front of her chest as she looked down at his sitting form. “You know what I’m talking about…when he called me a ‘whore’.” She huffed in annoyance when all Levi did was blink up at her in a perplexed manner.
“I’m asking you whether you think of me as a whore?”
A sharp “tch” escaped through his lips as he ran a hand across his tired face; dropping his head to the ground. “Of course I don’t. Why would you say that?”
Eden paused as her messed up mind attempted its best to formulate a valid response. She felt so blinded by anger and other emotions; every single thought seemed to integrate with another.
“Because that’s how you make me feel sometimes. You’re so goddamn hot and cold with me. One moment you kiss me and then you ignore me for days. Then you see me again and you decide you want to punish me for no apparent reason. Why are you doing this to me?”
Levi listened to her intently, his softened grey eyes focused on the hardwood floor. “I don’t know, Eden.”
The silence was deafening. His words bothered her more than if he had just not replied at all. Balling her hands into fists, her knuckles cracked as an angry blush peppered her cheeks. She began pacing back and forth as she spoke again.
“What do you mean you ‘don’t know’? That’s not a good enough answer, Captain. You’re Humanity’s Strongest Soldier; someone people respect because you bring hope back into the walls and you can’t answer a simple question? I don’t think you truly understand how much you’re messing with my head,” her words trailed off, but Levi heard every single bit of it.
He remained silent, fingers interlinked together, brows furrowed and jaw tightly clicking. All of a sudden, his eyes flickered back to hers and he glowered at her.
“Know your place, Eden. Don’t speak to me with that tone.”
She let out a humorless laugh, running a hand through her hair as she finally stood in one place, glaring at him menacingly. “How the hell am I supposed to know my place when you keep bringing me up and down whenever you feel like it? What makes you think you can treat me like that?” Her voice began shaking and the anger displayed itself as a thinly failed peachy mask against the skin of her face.
Levi watched her curiously, his eyes widening even more before shooting up out of the seat and towards her.
She felt a wet, warm liquid trickling down her lips. As soon as the taste hit her tongue; she immediately recognized the coppery taste of her blood. She mentally swore, stepping back away from Levi; fingers fumbling for her nose. “Don’t change the subject, I’m asking you something.”
The Captain’s eyes narrowed in frustration as he whipped a handkerchief out of his pocket. She battled against the grasp he had on her wrist before her back collided with the wall of the room. He pressed her against the wall in place as he gently tipped her head upwards, allowing the handkerchief a chance to soak up all the expelled liquid.
“Stop being so hotheaded. Look what you’re doing to yourself,” he muttered, cleaning her nose so tenderly, Eden could barely feel the fabric against her skin.
She leaned her head against the wall, looking into his eyes as he meticulously focused on the blood, brows scrunched together. “I’m not doing this to myself; you are. All I ask of you is answers; nothing more.”
Levi looked into her eyes with a strained expression on his face. He remained silent as he wiped the last droplets of blood staining her lips and cupid’s bow; his body still pressed against hers.
His eyes were a painting filled with so much turmoil. They were so stormy; Eden felt like she could drown in them. She pulled the bloodied handkerchief out of his grasp before lightly pressing his fingertips against her cheek. Tilting her head into his touch, her heated gaze did not falter as she suffocated under his own stare.
“You don’t need to hide anything from me,” Eden said softly, closing her eyes for a split second as he grazed his thumb against her cheekbones; his other fingers moving over to her jawline.
When Eden opened her eyes again, she watched as he leaned his head in towards her. But there was that strained look of his face; and the way his brows furrowed- making him back up slightly. She blinked at him through her velvet lashes, lips parting as she wordlessly asked him not to move away.
He inclined his head to the side, the inner turmoil growing more visible as he squeezed his eyes shut for a long moment; fingertips continuously brushing against her skin.
Levi let go of a shaky breath before craning his head back to fully face her.
“Tell me not to kiss you, Eden. I’m begging you,” he said in a smooth, low voice; sending a jolt of electricity along the girl’s spine. It caused her to arch her body into his; each gentle brush causing them both to lose control of their breaths.
“I-,” Eden began in a shaky, mellow voice; but Levi didn’t give her the chance to finish her sentence as his lips crashed against hers desperately; swallowing whatever she had planned to say.
The kiss was intoxicating and urgent. Levi’s grasp on her face tightened slightly; as though he felt like she’d disappear if he let go of her suddenly. Her arms flung around his neck as he kissed her hard, soft mewls escaping through her lips. She pulled him impossibly closer; the pressure of his body pressed against hers so intimately sending heat all throughout her body.
His lips were soft and sweet; yet the way he kissed her- leaving her breathless like that- Eden couldn’t deny the rough undertone he graced her with. Levi grunted into her mouth in pleasure when her slender fingers slipped through his soft hair- something she had dreamed of doing for a long time.
She gasped against his lips when he effortlessly picked her up; lips never leaving lips as he carried her towards the bed; his hands pressing against her thighs. Eden gulped a breath of air as he loomed over her; before kissing her heavily once more. Her legs wrapped around Levi’s waist and she tried pulling him closer. He thankfully accepted the gesture.
Levi’s tongue dominated her mouth as he explored every single inch of her; appreciating her delicious taste more than he could ever admit to anyone. Eden’s fingers found refuge in his hair once more, tucking at it gently as she sighed against his lips.
The sound of her calling him “Captain” in such a sweet, sinful way made Levi kiss her harder. He finally moved away from her mouth; his lips pressing against the flesh of her jawline and throat in a lazy, sloppy way. Pulling him closer, Eden’s eyes fluttered shut; feeling the way her lips burned pleasantly as she squirmed under his touch.
Goosebumps ghosted over her skin when she heard Levi sigh her name against her throat. Her mind spiraled and she felt like she had melted in his arms.
It was in that moment when Eden confirmed to herself that Levi Ackerman would be the death of her.
A few days later, Eden was officially free of being barred away in the medical quarters.
Hurriedly, she gathered her things and practically sprinted back to her bedroom before wrapping herself up in her harness, uniform and boots. She felt so elated, as though a heavy weight had been lifted off her chest as soon as the nurse graced her with the green light.
Now, the only thing that was properly on Eden’s mind was the Levi’s last words to her.
I guess it is, brat.
His words had carved themselves deep into her bones; as well as finding shelter in the darkest, most hidden place in her brain. She couldn’t stop thinking about him; scheming of ways to beat him at his own hot and cold game.
Jean was more than happy to assist her with her games. Although she had never asked him for help, Jean would almost always find a way to flirt with her. It was just their way of communication- light, innocent and incredibly refreshing. He’d throw his arm over her shoulder lazily after training or lean against her side whilst they ate.
Eden found herself laughing harder, talking louder and becoming more buoyant around Jean when the Captain was around. The atmosphere automatically grew bleaker when the intimidating man entered the room. He didn’t mean for that to happen, merely focusing on his cup of tea or the paperwork in his hand, but the daunting aura followed him everywhere.
It put the raven-haired girl on edge every time she could sense him close by. Their eyes would meet over Jean’s shoulder when he’d walk into the dining area and Eden would automatically bat her eyelashes at her comrade; sending him the toothiest of grins that made her plump lips stretch widely, and eyes crinkle.
She’d never miss the chance to catch the way Levi’s jaw would clench tightly, stormy eyes twitching in irritation as the grip on his teacup would visibly grow stronger.
It made her thrive.
When Levi had the chance, he’d be ruthless with Eden; making her run more laps than the others because he ‘wasn’t satisfied with her running’. His scowl would grow deeper when she’d flicker her eyes to Jean in front of him, a devious smile painted across her face.
That made the Captain grab her by the arm and shove her away from the rest of the Squad, barking at her to continue running laps until the sun went down.
Then one warm, sunny afternoon, Eden and her comrades were training outside, beside the wall of giant trees and buzzing bees.
Levi was busy speaking to Hange as Eren trotted behind them sulkily, sending Eden a playful smirk when she caught her childhood best friend’s eyes.
“Are you tired? Want me to carry you back to the medical quarters?” Jean’s deep voice mocked her as they stood opposite each other. Eden’s eyes snapped back to him, arching a brow.
“Stop trying to make up excuses for not sparring with me, Jeanie-boy. If you’re not up for a spar session; all you need to do is beg me to go train with someone else,” she retorted, folding her arms across her chest.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, darling. I promise to go easy on you,” Jean sneered back at her, rolling the cuffs of his white shirt up to his elbows as he settled his body in the first fighting stance.
She mirror him, pouting her lip as her hands balled into fists, stretching them outwards.
“My hero, let’s see what you’ve got for me,” she said smoothly, charging at him without a second’s notice.
He recoiled quickly, shifting his body out of the way as her fist swung at him. Raising his own fist towards her, Eden grunted as his knuckles nearly collided with her jaw. She captured his wrist, twisting it in an awkward way, kneeing him in the gut.
He swore under his breath, smirking mischievously at the sight of Eden growing angrier; her erratic moves quick and choppy.
“Feisty. I like it,” the boy muttered when Eden sent another punch towards his face. She caught him in the chin; ducking hurriedly when he stepped to the side, attempting to elbow her away from him.
Suddenly, she let out a squeak when he grabbed her by the waist, slamming her down onto the ground.
“Jeez,” she groaned, letting go of a shrill giggle when his fingers brushed against her side. “What the hell? That’s not fair…Jean…-” Eden shook with laughter as his fingers ghosted over her tickle spots. He fell to his knees as he attacked her ruthlessly, watching her try her best to squirm away in between heavy gasps for air.
Eden was an extremely ticklish person. Her reflex was so bad to the point of her growing violent if someone touched her sides, just below her ribs and against the curve of her slim waist.
Her palms pressed against his chest as she tried shoving him off of her; but her attempts were for nothing. Sighs of pleading echoed out of her, hazel eyes filling with tears as he continued pushing her, a wicked, victorious smirk masking his handsome features.
“Don’t you dare ever say I’ve never won against you,” Jean growled at her, unable to suppress the lopsided smile that stretched across his face when Eden began nodding fervently.
“Sure, no problem, I promise. I…-”
“Oi, idiots.”
Her blood turned into ice as Jean froze above her. He quickly scurried to his feet, saluting the approaching man firmly.
Eden lay on the ground, shaking; eyes wide as she tried her best to purse her lips and completely conceal the grin threatening to contort her face.
The sun grew covered by Levi as he loomed over her, scorching eyes blazing down at her. She swallowed thickly as she moved to sit up. Thankfully, her Captain was a gentleman, and he decided to assist her with that by grabbing her by the collar and pulling her up to her feet.
Her hands shot up to catch his wrist; but he shook her forcefully, his chiseled jaw defined by the muscles tightly clenching underneath.
“This is why you nearly got yourself killed, you dumbass,” he seethed at her, brows furrowed deeply as Eden continued trying to free her collar from his iron grip.
“Captain, it was my fault too…-” Jean began urgently, snapping his mouth shut when the Captain’s glare settled on him.
“Shut it. You weren’t the one who spent nearly a month bedridden, straw-head,” Levi retaliated in a lethal tone, his words dripping with poison. Shifting his glare back to Eden, he ended the training session for the rest of the Squad and ordered for them all to head back to base and clean their quarters.
“I didn’t tell you to go, brat,” he barked at her when she tried stepping away once more.
He let go of her abruptly, causing her to lose her balance for a split second before recollecting herself.
“Captain,” she began, her words halting their path on her tongue when he held his hand up.
“According to the nurse, you’re fit enough to handle a real fight. Let’s see if you’ve forgotten what you’ve learnt,” he quipped, craning his neck before holding her gaze for a long moment.
Eden stared at him in shock, her heart racing avidly as she stepped towards him.
“I bet you missed beating me up,” she replied, raising her fists at him.
He scoffed under his breath, swinging his arm towards her harshly as he spoke flatly. “Trust me when I tell you I could care less about your injuries, Eden. I can do what I want, whenever I want.”
She dodged him quickly, twisting her body effortlessly until her back collided with his chest. “I find that hard to believe, sir.” The bone of her elbow caught Levi in the ribs.
Eden didn’t know whether it was her retort that had affected him or the unexpected move; but Levi visibly grew angrier. He grabbed her by the hair and threw her against the tree bark beside them. The wood grazed her cheek and she winced; knowing better than to thrash when he kicked the spot behind her knee.
Her knees buckled and she fell to the ground, her bones cracking as they met the hard floor with a thud. Pulling her by the hair once more, Levi craned her head until her face was looking up at his whilst he towered over her menacingly.
“Watch your mouth, brat,” he snarled at her, ignoring the way she hissed when his fingers stiffly laced with her locks in a harsher manner. She couldn’t do anything but look into his blown-out, steel pupils. Yet, both of them had no knowledge of the tall individual who stood far away from the scene; watching them intently- cerulean eyes glinting as a smirk formed on his lips.
With a tight nod to himself, a level-headed Commander Erwin watched as the pair sparred, undoubtedly sensing the intensity of each calculated move from afar. The tension made him affirm to himself that they would be the most suitable team for the new mission sealed in his mind.
Gripping her collar once more, Levi shoved her to the ground before wiping his hands with the small handkerchief hidden in the pocket of his uniform at all times.
“Get up. I want you to go clean the bathrooms. If you have the energy to mess around, I’m sure you can spend a good hour hunched over those grimy toilets.” He blinked down at Eden as she pulled herself to her feet; caught a little aback at the fabricated smile that plastered itself onto her face.
“It would be my pleasure, sir,” she chirped back at him in a spiteful way; sauntering away rapidly in fear that he’ll pull her back and punch her in the face.
She swore under her breath when she heard the door of the restroom swing open.
“I literally just started. I hope you didn’t come to inspect my cleaning just yet…Sasha? Connie? What are you doing here?” Eden blinked at the duo who had walked in sneakily, twisted grins splayed over their faces as they both gripped some sort of cleaning supply.
“Nonsense, Eden. We came to help you out!”
“Ain’t no way we’ll let you clean on your own when you’ve just healed,” Connie retorted, heading towards the bottle of antibacterial cleaner. Sasha sprayed the mirrors with glass cleaner liquid, winking at Eden, affirming what the boy had just stated.
Eden felt her insides warm up. “Thanks, you guys. I truly appreciate it. Can’t say the Captain will commemorate your actions with a medal though.”
“Yeah yeah,” Sasha rolled her eyes at the girl’s words. “We know that! But, that’s only if he knows we’ve been here. Trust me, Connie and I are super good at remaining undercover. Don’t worry about anything but removing those icky stains from the floor, ewww.”
They chattered as they cleaned rapidly, each individual focusing on a different area. Eden laughed when she found out that her friends had watched her spar with Levi; feeling a little proud that Sasha had decided to bet on her that she’d win this one. She kicked Connie’s boot when she realized that he had bet on the Captain.
“You can’t blame me. I won in the end. Now Sasha owes me her weekly fruit snack.”
Sasha concealed the grin from the oblivious boy, directing it only towards a set of warm, hazel eyes. “Allegedly. I just said I’ll consider giving him my fruit snack if I see that the Captain was being too harsh on you.”
Their conversation came to a halt when the sound of boots resonated around them.
Three pairs of wide eyes searched each other’s faces for an answer on what the hell they should do.
“The cubicles,” Eden hissed through her teeth, shoving each comrade in a separate stall. The front door swung open viciously just as Eden managed to close the second stall’s door shut. She leaned against the wood, pretending to be taking a break when Levi’s glare settled against her face.
She cleared her throat awkwardly, tapping her palm against the door as she pushed herself off it. “Hello there, Captain. I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”
Levi didn’t respond. His steady stare lingered over the spotless floor, the sanitized sink and the shiny mirrors. He then sharply turned to frown at her.
“Quit playing, Eden. Who helped you clean the restrooms?”
Silence settled around them as Eden’s brain racked with excuses. Her eyes widened and she feigned offence. “No one? You told me to come clean the bathrooms and that’s exactly what I did.”
He paused, scrunching his nose at her words. “I didn’t take you for a liar. There’s absolutely no way you managed to clean everything in fifteen minutes.”
Eden’s brows furrowed as she tipped her chin towards him. “I guess you need to stop underestimating me, Captain. Maybe I’m just full of surprises.”
Levi let go of a breathy huff, shaking his head ever so slightly as he turned to the side; still standing stationary at the threshold. “Come with me. Commander Erwin wants to speak with us.”
Curiosity seeped through her as she quirked a brow in his direction. “Oh?”
Letting out an exasperated sigh, he titled his head towards the hallway. “We don’t have all day for you to process my words. I can write everything down for you later. Let’s go.”
“I’ll meet you there. Let me just put everything away…-”
“Did I ask you? I said come on,” he impatiently threw at her, watching with a dark glint in his eyes as she trotted towards him wordlessly. It was as if she could sense Connie and Sasha’s impending laughter and she wished she’d just linger around a little longer.
Walking past the threshold, Levi drearily matched her pace before placing a hand on the small of her back; guiding her towards his office in a bored, aloof manner.
Eden’s face remained emotionless; but her insides grew heated up as she couldn’t focus on anything but the firm press of his hand against the thinly concealed skin. The sound of cackles and giggles echoed through the hallway a moment after the pair had disappeared towards Levi’s office.
“I’m sorry Commander, I’d just love some confirmation. So, you want me to accompany Captain Levi to retrieve an undisclosed report regarding ancient titan findings for Hange from the Trost District?” Eden repeated what the Commander had previously just reiterated, making Levi pinch the bridge of his nose in irritation.
“That’s right,” Erwin smiled at her from behind Levi’s desk, his arms clasped behind his back. His height intimidated Eden so much. The Commander was definitely a force to be reckoned with and although he had starkly contrasting features in comparison to her Captain; his deep-blue eyes visibly revealed the thirst he had to lead his people towards victory.
Inclining his chiseled jawline towards the shorter man, Erwin spoke again. “I trust you are able to manage this assignment on your own. If you’re aware of the type of man Dimo Reeves is; you’ll know better than to trust the words he’ll throw your way.” He leaned over the desk, fingers settling against the immaculately clean wood, “At the end of the day, merchants thrive on bargains and what better way to lure the Survey Corps in with a deal regarding unspoken secrets about the world outside the walls?”
Eden nodded her head in affirmation, trying her best not to continuously flicker her eyes back to the Captain beside the Commander. She could feel his stare piercing through her skull; as though he was urging her to break her pact and meet his eyes.
Blinking rapidly, Eden pressed her fist over her heart, saluting them both formally, holding the Commander’s inquisitive stare. “I would be honored to assist my Regiment on a mission that could substantially assist humanity in the bigger picture. Thank you for considering me, Commander.”
The tall man waved her off, but stood impressed by the confidence emitting from the young woman. He could definitely appreciate why Levi seemed so intrigued by her.
She was like a fresh breath of air; her eyes glinting with the flame of hope- although having first-hand experiences with exactly what humanity’s hardships were like. Many comrades would lose that spark after the second, or even the first battle in open territory.
This was why Erwin has decided Eden was the best choice to accompany Levi on this classified operation. Putting all his cards in, Erwin knew that there was a considerably enormous chance for Dimo Reeves’ proposition to be a farce.
But, it was worth the risk.
“Very well, Chiasa. Prepare yourself. You are to depart tomorrow at the brink of dawn. The Regiment has full trust that this will all be for something. You’re dismissed.”
Bowing her head lightly, Eden began stepping backwards towards the exit of an office she knew all too well.
“Thank you, Commander. Captain.” She glanced towards Levi, the butterflies in her stomach going wild as he stoically tipped his head downwards in response.
Closing the door with a trembling hand, Eden rushed back to her bedroom, praying to whoever could hear her thoughts that she’d have the power to go through a long mission with only Levi by her side.
