Sub (S): I think I’d be okay sharing some photos eventually, just not right now and nothing too revealing
Me (M): Okay, that’s completely fair. You never have to show more than you want to!
*Ten minutes later, mid-session*
S: FUck, I’m so melted daddy
M: It’s adorable how broken you’ve become so quickly
S: Fuck yes I’m so broken I’ll do anything for you
M: Oh? Then beg to let me see what my new pet looks like
S: (Anxious) …please, Daddy
M: Please, what?
S: Please let me show you, Daddy
M: Much better. Permission denied.
S: (Startled) Wait what?
M: You did very well. Permission denied.
S: (Now desperate) Please, daddy!
M: Please what?
S: Please let me show you, I need to
M: Aww how cute! Permission denied.
S: FUck I’m so broken, please please I need to show you how desperate I am how much I need you
M: Hahahah
S: Pleaseeeee
M: Well let’s see…
*Fully wakes up the sub, makes sure they are awake, aware, not being affected, fully able to consent without pressure*
M: Now then, you certainly don’t have to, but do you still want to?
S: Yes yes please Daddy I consent I consent I consent please let me show you
M: Much better. Permission granted.
Please note: The important piece here is I would not let them show me anything until they were awake, aware, & cognizant. While no limits were ever crossed during this play, even once the sub sent me pictures, it’s important to make sure at all times that consent is respected. The sub did not consent to being coerced into sending anything while under, so it was only once awake and aware that I let them. Since then, they have on another separate occasion begged me to let them show me themselves, without prompting. While the manipulation aspect is incredibly hot, it stops being hot the moment it becomes genuine non-consensual manipulation. To any doms reading this, please keep that in mind.
Thank you for sharing @consensualdomination , this is a very good example of how to properly respond when unexpected things happen during a session. It’s so easy to get lost in the moment while we play, for both the Sub and the Tist.
It’s always important to be adamant about limits and always wait for open and clear headed communication when discussing limits. There is no excuse to ‘do now and seek approval later’.
NONE.
I would also like to point out that @consensualdomination took the time to specify ‘ Fully wakes up the sub, makes sure they are awake, aware, not being affected, fully able to consent without pressure ’.
It VERY important to remember that a subject that has just awoken from a trance, IS STILL AFFECTED BY IT. You can’t come across this type of situation and simply wake them up for a minute or 2 to ask them if it’s ok. What ever answer they give you IS NOT considered informed and unaffected consent.
Much like asking someone to do specific sexual act when aroused out of their minds, Arousal doesn’t just turn off and asking things of a person while the arousal lingers won’t get you their true feelings on the matter.
Or, if you wish to understand it a different way, would you ask a drunk person to drive 15 mins after they are done drinking? No. You certainly would not.
A trance, especially deep ones, temporarily re-organizes your mental pathways. Exactly like falling asleep. It takes time for the mind to fully awaken in both cases, but even more so when emerging from trance. Recreational hypnosis is all about rewiring the mind and playing around with a person’s thoughts to create profound and exciting experiences.
So don’t assume someone has fully emerged from that state by simply saying ‘You are awake, refreshed and alert”, because they are not.
I came across a lovely wee post by @wry-tur of a young woman turning from flat-mate to sex doll. It was a fun read and its popularity touches on a deep-set and common fantasy - being hypnotically transformed from a ‘normal’ life into one of some sexual or bimbofied object.
I know that sort of transformation is firmly in the ‘fantasy’ book for most people and most who enjoy those kinds of stories have no intention of actually pursuing any life-altering hypnotic processing.
But those of you for whom it is more than an idle fantasy and want to start taking steps in that direction, here’s a few things to be keep in mind.
1. Make A Plan
This can and should be done collaboratively at the outset.
Talk about what you both want from this, what goals you have, what you would like to see happen and achieve.
As the Tist, you are going to need to do the thinking work behind figuring out how to get where you are wanting to go but the sub’s voice needs to be heard clearly here about where it is you are going to go and, crucially, how far.
All serious requests follow the ‘trial - iterate - reflect - trial’ loop and those initial trials should always be small.
The planning phase is also the place you need to talk about ‘pull the plug’ conditions; what are the red line conditions that it’s time to stop and pull back. Which results will mean slow down, which will mean go back and which will mean emergency break?
Save that plan somewhere. It’s best if you both keep a copy. After this is done though, it’s time to get to started.
2. Create a ‘Save-State’
The very first hypnotic thing that needs doing is to take the time to make a ‘snap shot’ (an actual picture is a good anchor for this actually, or better again would be a short v-log entry) of the person the sub is before the conditioning.
Talk about their life, their interests, their work and generally generate a cloud of things that are attached and associated with the pre-conditioned person. Make that person clear in the subjects mind, in trance, and make them accessible and available to you in trance in future.
Here, you will need to create a very specific, very tangible sense of how this person is contained in the mind of the subject.
The goals you decided in the Planning phase may help steer the metaphor here; perhaps it is a an oil-painting portrait of the old self, perhaps a profile, or a microchip containing those beliefs and so on.
Whatever it is, it should be something clear, specific and (metaphorically) distinct from the person they are becoming now. Something you can point to, revisit, look at and talk about together.
And crucially, something you can use to restore the subject when (or I suppose, if..) the time comes to end the fantasy.
3. Managing New Normals
How are you going to manage the subjects relationship between their new and old self?
The problem is this: If you really did gradually, unknowingly change into something different than what you are, how would you know? You feel as you feel right now, don’t you? And that feels normal.. if a good hypnotist did their job right, being a devoted sex kitten would feel as normal as this normal feels to you now. Which is to say, unremarkable.
We all change, all day, every day and those changes are difficult to see from our own perspective. A lot of the time, ‘normal’ means ‘invisible’.
So it’s worth thinking about how and when your subject will see their new normal. If they never do, they may not get the benefit or enjoyment from seeing your mutual success.
A good access point is ‘I used to think / wear / work..’. Making the ‘save state’ version of the subject visible to them somehow can make that easier.
Make notes of progress, changes, discuss them and help your subject internalise them. Comparison to the ‘save state’ is useful here too.
4. Containment
If a subject is under your control and they get hurt, that is your fault. They are right and entitled not to trust you anymore. All control comes with an assurance of safety, it must. I’m going to stress this for the cheap seats;
You must not let the subject do damage to their life.
It is your responsibility, not theirs, to ensure their safety.
Nobody wants to burn down their life. Or people who do are in need of nurturing care, not a sociopath that will give them matches. Even as you start taking the first steps from ‘online fantasies’ to ‘living, breathing, thinking as a (insert new persona here)’ you do not want this to damage relationships, professional opportunities and employment or anything else that can be impossible to get back.
A subject that genuinely starts to change their daily thought patterns, their values and goals, little by little, toward those more befitting their new identity, theymay not see the value or importance in maintaining those facets of their ‘old’ life.
Make sure they know it’s important to you, that they do.
Praise them for doing it. Check in to ensure they are doing it. Suggestions must contain caveats. Caveats like ‘when it is safe for you to do so’, ‘when there are other people around’, ‘without being noticed’ and similar.
If you fail at this, you’re likely to do very real, irreparable damage to their life. Hypnosis allows and invites people to do things they ordinarily wouldn’t and if your suggestions are careless and your management sloppy, they will get very hurt. Saying after ‘but you said you wanted this’ is not going to be an acceptable cop out after the fact.
You wouldn’t let her drive home drunk. Don’t let her make life decisions while inebriated on subspace.
5. Wrap-around control
If you’re talking about a change of identity, wherein someone becomes a different person, that’s something that can be only for certain times when they sit down at their desktop or it can be something that is not something they can slip in and out of so easily.
In the case of the latter, there are two environments to keep in mind; their physical space and their routine, both of which are a wealth of available anchors.
What happens when they press the button of an elevator? Does it turn something on inside themselves? What about when they see their reflection? Who do they see? What do they see? What happens when they go through the threshold of their bedroom or into their home? How do they sit in the lunchroom?
That’s not even touching on how you might use screens, monitors, music or headphones to have them regularly attend to conditioning files.
Do not do too many all at once.
It will be overwhelming and most will be soon forgotten. But, when done gracefully, little by little, turning every-day experiences and interactions into triggering and conditioning events can have enormous effects.
6. Name changing
A rose by any other name…
A simple and effective part of the transformation ( and maintaining the distinction between the new and old self) is to give the new identity a new name.
Our name is far more psychologically intimate and meaningful to us than most people realise. We associate so much of ourselves with our name, it is intimately, cognitively wrapped up with our identity.
A new name helps to trigger a new persona and, usefully, the old name can remind the subject the identity they need to portray where it is being used..
Finally..
It’s only in feeling safe that we are able to explore. These are some of the boots, hikes, ropes and supplies that will allow you to travel much further in the direction your heart is yearning.
I know that for many this is a fantasy and talking about the practicalities and the safety precautions at length like this is antithetical to that excitement but the fact is that without the structure or proper supports, escape chords, plans and limits then most people simply won’t be able to explore these things.
Thinking about the details, safeties and practicalities makes these things actually possible. And that should be exciting..
♠️♦️♥️♣️
Really great write up that could apply to so many different things in erotic hypnosis, especially any kind of changework.
If I could had a dollar for every time a hypnotist tried to push the limits they readily agreed to when they thought they had me under, I’d be a fucking millionaire. And you wanna know the worst part? When I call them out for being shitty and give them another chance, most of them apologize and then IMMEDIATELY TRY THAT SHIT AGAIN. Or even worse, if they think that my initial rebuff was while I was still in trance, THEY KEEP PUSHING UNTIL I TELL THEM I’M NOT IN TRANCE ANYMORE.
Let me state this, for those who don’t seem to get it. GOING INTO TRANCE DOES NOT MEAN I FORFEIT MY LIMITS. I still have the same limits when I drop as when I was awake. They’re not negotiable, they’re not a flimsy barrier I erected to hide the good stuff, they’re not a “challenge” for you. They are solid and there for a reason.
DON’T BE AN ABUSER, RESPECT YOUR SUB’S LIMITS!!!!!!!
