#hurtcomfort headcanons

might get a little angsty here, had these bottled up in my head for a while (can’t think of anything for nooshy, but i will think about it!).

johnny: 

- johnny hates crying in front of others, hates it more than anything. despises it and will bite down on his tongue or dig his nails into his hand to hold it in (sometimes it’s enough to draw blood).

- he appreciates the comfort his friends try to offer him at that very moment, but he hates looking so vulnerable when he’s supposed to be the strong one looking out for his best friends.

- whenever he feels like he can’t take it he quietly excuses himself to the bathroom.

- he completely lets himself go when he’s locked himself inside and his shoulders just lurch as he sobs over the sink.

- of course the rest can hear him and they all silently agree on the fact that he needs comfort.

- but they all know trying to bombard him at once at the beginning will just overwhelm him and make him say “he’s fine”.

- obviously, none of them are going to take that as an answer.

- so one of them (usually it’s ash or nooshy) visits his room with a cup of english breakfast tea (+ honey) once he’s calmed down.

- they usually find him practicing a piano piece he has to play for their show, continuously messing up on notes.

- johnny would try to greet whoever it is with a cheerful voice—sometimes they can notice that he’s still upset, sometimes they just can’t tell because he’s so good at hiding it.

- “i’m telling you, really, i’m okay. there’s nothing bothering me, honest.”

- he gives many attempts to try and change the subject when they try to get it out of him, but eventually they manage to verbally back him into a corner.

- johnny doesn’t say anything for a while and slightly starts to pace, then gives in and blurts out how he’s trying, he’s trying so hard to be perfect, to be the most he can, trying so, so hard to be strong, because he needs to be the strong one for the rest of them.

- but it’s just really difficult, and sometimes he can just feel the pressure getting to him and he’s just so tired and it makes it hard for him to breathesometimes.

- but the thought of becoming a burden just stresses him out way too much, so even though he wants to talk to an adult or a friend about it his mind and body just won’t let him do so, and it just feels like it’s building up inside his chest—suffocatinghim.

- his hands start to shake a bit and he starts to talk faster, rambling on and on as he picks up pace like he does when he grows anxious or nervous.

- “i-i feel like i should be able to do it, y’know? b-but then i try to do it, and there’s just so many other things that stay on my mind and it’s… it’s like it’s messin’ with my head. am i really not enough? i never know what i’m supposed to do to fix it all, and i just feel so… so useless.”

- johnny then stops and quietly admits that sometimes he just feels patheticandweak, and that’s when they give him a nice, warm hug, although it does take him a while to actually sink into it.

-“johnny,‘pathetic’and‘weak’ would be the last words anyone would use to describe you. it’s okay to tell us you’re feeling stressed out sometimes, all we want to do is help you. please don’t try to hide anything like that from us, it’s important we know you’re having a hard time. you’re never a burden… you’re our hope, o-our family… you’re our best friend. we love you.”

- eventually the others would join in and it just all ends in one huge cuddle/hug sesh until porsha cheerfully offers that they all watch his favorite movie to cheer him up.

- they all eventually end up tangled up in a mess of blankets and cushions on the couch asleep altogether, halfway through the movie.

ash:

- she hasn’t been able to get rid of her “stupid” trust issues after her boyfriend of five years, lance, ditched her for some random bitch named becky.

- ever since she never really let herself get too close to anyone else beside her new stage crew family.

- ash has always been scared of stepping out of her comfort zone, especially when it means getting deeply involved with other animals.

- but for some reason she holds onto the old electric guitar lance had gotten for her for their second-year anniversary, although she has more than enough money to buy a better and newer one.

- and oh god, she feels pathetic like a stupid teenager hanging onto her stupid ex and she can’t help but feel like she’s being a complete idiot over it.

- so ash has, more than five times, tried to throw her guitar away, case and all, reassuring herself that she can just buy a better one—one that wasn’t given to her by some low-life cheating bastard.

- but whenever she tries her hands start shaking as she grips onto the case, and her teeth clenches and she just can’t let go of it and it drives her insane.

- she finds herself thinking if she was that bad enough of a girlfriend for lance to go find becky, and she gets angry and she has to clench her teeth not to start bawling.

- she returns back to their condo and tosses the guitar case aside into the living room, disappearing into her own without a word, letting everyone there realize almost immediately what she was going through. 

- they know that she needs time for herself for at least thirty minutes before one of them talk to her so during that time, meena goes out to the nearest café and buys a piece of chocolate cake with bubble tea or hot chocolate.

- after those thirty minutes, one of them (preferably johnny) goes inside with her guitar and finds ash walking busily around the room aggressively cleaning everything up, loudly blasting music from her phone.

- it takes her a while and some soothing words to get her to calm down and bring her down from her “worked-up”state, and when she does she sits down on her bed, staring down at the red guitar case covered top-to-bottom with stickers.

- “i feel so stupid.” she says, fists clenched on her lap. “he was such an idiot, and i know he doesn’t deserve what i offer him… but why am i holding onto this? what am i doing wrong? i thought i moved on, and i know i have, but… something must be, just, really wrong with me. maybe… maybe i’m just not strong enough to erase him from my mind.”

- “you’re not, stupid, ash, don’t say that. and there is nothing wrong with you, i promise. sometimes… we just have a hard time thinking what we want and we wonder what’s right. no, you can’t forget him—the more you try to forget him, the more your mind will take you towards him. the best you can do—the best we can do—is create another chapter of your life. a fresh one, see? things were bad back then… but now, you have us, don’t you? we can write a fresh new page together, create better memories over the worse ones.”

- “you’re one of the strongest animals i know, ash. believe me. it’s going to be a tough journey, but you’re not alone.”

- then ash leans into them and they wrap her into a side-hug. they find ash wearily eyeing the guitar case again.

- “keep the guitar—it doesn’t have to mean that it’s something you can’t let go of. it’s just part of who you are, and the music you make from that guitar is what shapes you. think it that way, alright?”

- then they carefully hand ash her drink and her slice of chocolate cake.

- “ugh, you guys know me so well.”

porsha:

- porsha doesn’t really go visit her dad in jail, she tries to avoid doing it if she can.

- he’s never really been the best dad in the world, and he had done so many wrongs… but then again, he’s her dad. he used to be all she had.

- so from time to time, porsha does try to go talk to her dad to check on him—the last thing she would want was for him to fall ill or into some sort of state of depression.

- but he never comes talk to her, refuses to talk to her, but she decides to hold on and sits there for about an hour, hope dwindling every passing minute.

- eventually she comes back to their condo, not really hiding the fact that she’s crying or having a breakdown, her make-up completely smudged across her fur.

- before anyone can get up and ask her what’s wrong, she locks herself in the bathroom and doesn’t come out for sometimes hours.

- they knock on the door gently and ask her if she’s okay, but all she can manage at that point is just brokenly tell them to leave her alone because she can’t use her voice at the moment.

- she does unlock the door at some point but leaves it closed—whenever she cried as a kit she’d usually wait for her dad to come and maybe give her a hug, but it never really happened.

- she’s not used to asking for anyone’s comfort or consolation and is honestly embarrassed to show how sorryandpitiful she looks, so different from her “happy”facade. 

- but porsha knows she could use some comfort and stays in the same spot waiting for it—usually her friends all hear the door unlock and it’s not long until someone comes in to check on her.

- “i-i think my daddy hates me.” she chokes out, and she slightly bites down on her fist. “i know he’s bad, alright? i know he’s not a good person… but he’s my daddy. h-he’s supposed to love me, right? then why won’t he talk to me?”

- “listen.” they say as they take her hand, helping her to her feet. “your dad, well, he… he did bad things, i know. and he’s always had his priorities in the wrong place. his reputation came first before anything, and i can’t imagine what it would have been like growing underneath such a shadow.”

- “but just because he did have priorities in the wrong place, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. he does love you, i’m sure of it… he’s just blind of who you are, he’s not considerate enough to appreciate you, because you’re such a wonderful, amazing person to be with. he just can’t see that.”

- “i know everything hurts because you feel like he doesn’t want anything to do with you. but he might, and i really really hope he does, that he’ll be able to get to see what’s important. until then, you have us—we appreciate you, and we’re all happy to be able to call you our best friend. we’ll get through this together, alright?”

- porsha feels better at these little pep talks and asks what she ever did to deserve such “awesome bffs”, they have a little laugh about it, have a group hug, before they decide to give time for porsha to clean up or redo her make-up so that they can go have ice cream at the city square.

( + might add one for nooshy if i can think of something!)