I saw a post talking about how losing MADD would suck because it’s sort of become apart of their identity and that even though it’s “maladaptive” it feels like it would genuinely suck to lose it and like I totally agree.
Like personally I wouldn’t be bored if I stopped daydreaming (mostly cause I’ve been using madd to avoid my responsibilities and hobbies) but I would feel like I’ve lost a part of me. Thinking about not daydreaming feels scary cause like I’d be opening a hole that madd was filling and by getting rid of my daydreams I’d never be able to close it
I’m like honestly frightened about losing my paras. At this point they are a permanent part of me and who I am and to lose them feels like losing me
Reading posts like these, I want to remind everyone that healing from MaDD isn’t to stop daydreaming- it’s to stop being negatively affected by it. It’s to switch to immersive daydreaming. You don’t have to leave your paracosms, you don’t have to abandon your paras. It’s about targeting how and why your daydreaming negatively impacts you (intrusive daydream themes, urges to daydream in inappropriate situations, etc.).
The points made in the above post are so valid, and I really do resonate with them. But there is an established difference between non-MaDD and non-daydreaming.
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Super cuddly! He’ll bury his head in the crooks of his significant other’s neck after a satisfying session and likes when they play with his hair or scratch his scalp.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Adrian hardly wears shirts in the house anymore since he noticed they like his biceps. He also refuses to skip arm day at the gym because of it.
He likes their thighs. Sometimes he uses them as hand warmers, the act is rarely considered sexual in his mind.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Firm believer he likes to cum inside his person and especially enjoys watching it drip out of them.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He steals their used underwear and keeps it in his pocket when he goes on long missions.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He has enough experience to know what he’s doing and how to get someone off, he has yet to try all the crazy positions he’s heard of.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
He likes jackhammering his partner when they’re in cowgirl position, this way he can be as aggressive as he likes without worrying he’ll crush them plus the view is pretty nice.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
VERY goofy. Adrian doesn’t take a lot of things seriously, that behavior persists in the bedroom if your bodies are entangled so are your giggles.
H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Adrian is well kept and groomed ever since a few strands of pubes got caught in the zipper of his suit. He is very hygienic as well and washes his hands to the CDC-recommended birthday song. Yes, he hums it out loud for the full 20 seconds.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He’s touched starved so little acts of intimacy can be found in everything he does – he rests his hands on their upper thigh during the day, he has a change of clothes for them in his car just in case, he got them a gun in their favorite color, he makes sure they always cum first, he gets them water after sex, etc, etc. To him, it might not register as intimacy it’s just something he does without thinking, like breathing.
He loves mostly through actions and likes to have gratitude affirmed frequently because he’s constantly worried he’s going to do or say something wrong. Also, he hasn’t heard a lot of good things about himself growing up and those voices rattle around in his head so having someone tell him what a good job he’s done often prinks tears at the corner of his eyes. NO, he’s not crying it’s allergies. Adrian likes to feel needed and needs to feel like he’s wanted.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Before his partner, pretty frequently. Not so much anymore though, if he wants sex he’ll just bluntly say “Can I fuck you?”
What? That approach has yet to fail him. Works ninety-nine percent of the time except for that one time his significant other asked for a more romantic approach and he spelled out CAN I FUCK U in rose petals on the bed.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Adrian has a somnophilia kink he hasn’t brought it up yet. He already knows he’s weird, he doesn’t want to be seen as creepy too. The closest he’s ever gotten to this is falling asleep still buried in his partner.
L = Location (favorite places to do they do)
Anywhere. Everywhere. He feels more at ease in the bedroom because there are no surprises and he can let his guard down BUT one of his favorite places they’ve done it is, in his car at night near the forest during a snowstorm.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Anything from a touch that lingered too long, to a stretch that unintentionally revealed a sliver of skin and he’s ready to go.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
Sharing. Once he’s locked in with his partner emotionally he can be possessive due to his insecurities. Adding someone else to the mix can lead to a whole host of issues akin to kicking a hornet’s nest. Mainly because he doesn’t know how to articulate his fear of abandonment in a healthy manner therefore it comes out as passive-aggressiveness wherever he feels betrayed or backed into a corner. It never lasts long and he always apologizes for it after, cut him some slack he’s working on it.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Both, he’s equally a giver and a taker. Adrian could spend hours between his partner’s thighs and expect nothing in return however he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy receiving. It might be his favorite sex act, he’s a changed man after getting good head.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
It depends on his mood, he typically sets the tone in the bedroom and alternates between dom or sub.
If he’s in a dom headspace he can be fast, rough, and playful assuming his partner is on the same page that day. When he’s a sub his partner is slow and sensual with him.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He loves them, quickies in a closet or single-person bathroom are his favorites. It’s being crouched in a small space with his partner and the thrill of getting caught that gets him off. Public indecency is only a crime if you get caught.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
As long as it’s not illegal [or at minimal risk of getting caught] he’s game. Adrian has a list of things he wants to try with them both sexual and nonsexual.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He’s good for two or three rounds with breaks in between, there have been times where he stopped and left halfway only to return with a sandwich.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He’s not very well versed with toys but after some exposure, he’ll indulge his partner if that’s what they want. Nothing beats the original in his opinion.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Adrian is a massive tease in public when he’s in dom mode. He’ll get his partner riled up just to see how long it takes for them to snap. He’ll drop innuendos and his hands will “accidentally” brush past somewhere it isn’t supposed to.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Low groans that barely escape his throat mixed with equally quiet pleas/moans/grunts and lots of dirty talks. He has no filter so he shines in this arena.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Adrian wants to make a sex tape with his partner inspired by a specific scene in a prono he watched once, where the guy laps up his and his partner’s mixture of cum and spits it in the partner’s mouth.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
It’s girthy, veiny, and above-average length. The mushroom-shaped head is slightly larger and gets a few shades deeper in red easily giving it an overall mouthwatering, aesthetically pleasing look. Like a ripe, hung strawberry.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
He’s like a horny teenager, if he’s not having sex with his partner he’s thinking about having sex with his partner.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
After his person is looked after it’s lights out for him. Adrian is a heavy sleeper and his significant other is usually squished under his dead weight. The pros are he’s basically a warm weighted blanket, cons are sometimes he snores directly in their ear or drools on them. If they maneuver his body causing him to wake up he gets offended.
