making this its own post. context being op has maladaptive daydreaming and experiences paracosms and wanted discernment tips—though i have used these in the past for unreality and dissociation :)
outside of these examples, i will always advocate for recognizing where your paracosm begins and where it ends, as it will help you significantly in the long run. who are your recurring figures, what features have you experienced and can confidently attribute to the paracosm only—this is something that can be done alongside professional help, if you feel you cannot trust your own judgement.
Online Therapy - I do not currently offer online therapy. My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati
In this video I’m talking about one form of Dissociation, Maladaptive Daydreaming. Recently, I made the video 5 General Types Of Dissociation & How To Deal With Them (linked below) and many of you asked for me to do deep dives into each type. This first video is part of a series and I’m speaking to Maladaptive Daydreaming. Is Maladaptive Daydreaming bad? Is it good for you? Maladaptive Daydreaming help, how to best manage it, and so much more. Make sure you wait until the end to see how to best manage this form of dissociation. And let me know in the comments which form of dissociation you want to see a deep dive on next.
Mala-An orientation which is created or influenced by maladaptive daydreaming or fantasy prone personalities.
For example a Malasexual person might feel pansexual usually but may feel more asexual during a maladaptive daydreaming episode. An orientation specific to people who experience maladaptive daydreaming due to a neurodivergence such as: schizotypal personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, schizophrenia or similar.
Term coined by: Unknown
Malasexual:
[Image: Flag with 11 stripes, the first and last 5 stripes taking 1/3 of the flag each and the center stripe taking up another 1/3: The outside stripes are mirrored going from light purple to dark purple and the center stripe is a medium purple].
[Image: Flag with 11 stripes, the first and last 5 stripes taking 1/3 of the flag each and the center stripe taking up another 1/3: The outside stripes are mirrored going from light green to dark green and the center stripe is a medium green].
Malagender:A gender which is created or influenced by maladaptive daydreaming or fantasy prone personalities.
For example a malagender person might feel male usually but their gender may feel more nonbinary during a maladaptive daydreaming episode. A gender specific to people who experience maladaptive daydreaming due to a neurodivergence such as: schizotypal personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, schizophrenia or similar.
Term coined by: Unknown
[Image: Flag with 11 stripes, top and bottom 5 taking up 1/3 of the flag each and the center stripe taking up the final 1/3: Top 5: Fading from light blue to blue. Center is a medium gray. Bottom 5 is darkish pink fading into light pink].
hi beautiful souls! i’m moving into my very own apartment that i’ve been waiting 6 months to be ready on Tuesday! i’m so grateful!!!
however, since it’s halfway through the month, i had to pay rent at my current place so i’m short on money. my dad was able to loan me most of it, but now i’m ~$50 short of moving.
i would ask my mom but she’s a narcissist and is abusive to me, so i really don’t want to talk to her, and i don’t think she’ll even help me. i have no one else to ask but you guys.
i’m so excited and so grateful that my new apartment is ready, i trust that everything will work out for me! if you’re able to help it work out and donate, my paypal, cashapp, and venmo username is amijo21 ..i just need $50!! please reblog if you can’t help by donating, thank you so much (✿^‿^)(◠‿・)—☆
making this its own post. context being op has maladaptive daydreaming and experiences paracosms and wanted discernment tips—though i have used these in the past for unreality and dissociation :)
outside of these examples, i will always advocate for recognizing where your paracosm begins and where it ends, as it will help you significantly in the long run. who are your recurring figures, what features have you experienced and can confidently attribute to the paracosm only—this is something that can be done alongside professional help, if you feel you cannot trust your own judgement.
these are exercises to be done in your own time to begin to trust yourself and your discerning abilities. these do not have to begin with spirits, but the end result can surely include them :)
1.tell yourself truths—i have x colour hair, i have x colour eyes—try to recognize how that feels to you. what is your train of thought, how do you receive that truth, does your mind falter and suggest otherwise, does it feel stable and sit within you as it is? as time goes on, you can expand on these truths—i am using social media, my shoes are white, the time is 9.30pm, and so on. the goal is to understand your body’s responses and the communication between your thoughts and any repeated sensations, as these would be your anchors for recognizing ‘truth’ from lie.
2.tell yourself lies—inverse to the above, tell yourself lies. if you have short hair, state it is long. wearing socks? absolutely not! play around with the length and complexity of the lie, feel how the body reacts. this is now your baseline for a ‘lie’ from a truth.
3.practice a level of controlled guessing—it sounds strange, but in your day-to-day life you can take a guess at any random occurrence with very little drawback. for example, what colour car will you see on the next street? will i see a dog during my walk today—simple things that are not so unlikely they’re impossible, but not so common that you’re guessing the sky has clouds while it’s overcast.
at any point, you can pair this with the first example. do you feel anything that would suggest truth, and is it something you can confirm? you feel you’ll see a red car on the next road over, and your body treats it like a truth—does that red car ever appear?
4.record these truths and events—find your rate of success, how each event feels and if there are any common reactions within the pool of successful predictions and guesses.
5.rely on other senses—in the case of paracosms, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to immediately discern spirit from thought without also understanding the boundaries of the paracosm itself, and that often takes time. for me, the mind is not the only way to hear and speak to a spirit. luckily, we have other systems of discernment that lie outside the realm of the mind, should it be untrustworthy in the moment.
one test i enjoy is feeling the movements within my face, namely the jaw—for many people, they’ll notice small movements that pair along their train of thought, almost as if the body is preparing itself to speak. over time, i’ve noticed that when i speak to myself in my own thoughts or am within my own paracosm, my mouth and tongue follow along in preparation. when speaking to a spirit and having it respond, my mouth does not move.
another way to look at this, if it applies, are there certain things you feel, taste, smell, or see during a paracosm that are wholly unique to it? say, the scent of a certain flower, the feeling of pins in your fingers? if yes, using these as indicators of your paracosm.
6.use physical tools alongside intuitive communication—i noticed [op] mentioned that tools are not a problem, so this is an excellent baseline to work with if you feel you cannot get a handle on the other forms described (assuming you have not tried already). if you already are in good relations with a deity, you’re free to reach out to them, or instead reach out to a local spirit. the goal is to communicate with something you recognize, or something simple.
however you would communicate intuitively—through normal conversation, question and answer setting, or other—check through that conversation with your tools. ask the deities or the spirit later on how true this conversation was as you experienced it, and compare. this works better if you record both aspects, the initial conversation and divination in part.
7. and while this was not included in the original post, which events matter, and why do they matter, if at all? purely in the context of signs and symbolism, much too often do we see something uncommon and immediately jump to the conclusion of “it’s a sign from the gods! the spirits are talking!” this is formed under the assumption that your gods or spirits want to speak to you first, rather than the other way around.
how often do you actually pay attention to your surroundings? have you recently discovered your spirituality and now look for it in every action—and in saying that, are you be prone to attributing the spirits to your symptoms?
migration season is upon us, you watch the birds fly overhead in steady formation, this is normal in this time of year. do those birds in particular feel strange, do you feel drawn into their pattern now for no reason? i am avid believer that your signs are attributed to already occurring events—that the spirits and gods do not bother to give you new situations, but rather whisper in-between the ones that already bleed into your life.
this last point is something that comes with time. eventually—innately—you will begin to understand how it feels to have their words flash before your eyes in the form of an animal, a strange cloud, a stranger.
if you don’t have it yet, don’t worry. we have plenty of time.
Does anyone have any tips for discernment when you have Maladaptive Daydreaming?
outside of these examples, i will always advocate for recognizing where your paracosm begins and where it ends, as it will help you significantly in the long run. who are your recurring figures, what features have you experienced and can confidently attribute to the paracosm only—this is something that can be done alongside professional help, if you feel you cannot trust your own judgement.
there are exercises to be done in your own time to begin to trust yourself and your discerning abilities. these do not have to begin with spirits, but the end result can surely include them :)
i apologize in advance for the length of this response.
1.tell yourself truths—i have x colour hair, i have x colour eyes—try to recognize how that feels to you. what is your train of thought, how do you receive that truth, does your mind falter and suggest otherwise, does it feel stable and sit within you as it is? as time goes on, you can expand on these truths—i am using social media, my shoes are white, the time is 9.30pm, and so on. the goal is to understand your body’s responses and the communication between your thoughts and any repeated sensations, as these would be your anchors for recognizing ‘truth’ from lie.
2.tell yourself lies—inverse to the above, tell yourself lies. if you have short hair, state it is long. wearing socks? absolutely not! play around with the length and complexity of the lie, feel how the body reacts. this is now your baseline for a ‘lie’ from a truth.
3.practice a level of controlled guessing—it sounds strange, but in your day-to-day life you can take a guess at any random occurrence with very little drawback. for example, what colour car will you see on the next street? will i see a dog during my walk today—simple things that are not so unlikely they’re impossible, but not so common that you’re guessing the sky has clouds while it’s overcast.
at any point, you can pair this with the first example. do you feel anything that would suggest truth, and is it something you can confirm? you feel you’ll see a red car on the next road over, and your body treats it like a truth—does that red car ever appear?
4.record these truths and events—find your rate of success, how each event feels and if there are any common reactions within the pool of successful predictions and guesses.
5.rely on other senses—in the case of paracosms, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to immediately discern spirit from thought without also understanding the boundaries of the paracosm itself, and that often takes time. for me, the mind is not the only way to hear and speak to a spirit. luckily, we have other systems of discernment that lie outside the realm of the mind, should it be untrustworthy in the moment.
one test i enjoy is feeling the movements within my face, namely the jaw—for many people, they’ll notice small movements that pair along their train of thought, almost as if the body is preparing itself to speak. over time, i’ve noticed that when i speak to myself in my own thoughts or am within my own paracosm, my mouth and tongue follow along in preparation. when speaking to a spirit and having it respond, my mouth does not move.
another way to look at this, if it applies, are there certain things you feel, taste, smell, or see during a paracosm that are wholly unique to it? say, the scent of a certain flower, the feeling of pins in your fingers? if yes, using these as indicators of your paracosm.
6.use physical tools alongside intuitive communication—i noticed you mentioned that tools are not a problem, so this is an excellent baseline to work with if you feel you cannot get a handle on the other forms described (assuming you have not tried already). if you already are in good relations with a deity, you’re free to reach out to them, or instead reach out to a local spirit. the goal is to communicate with something you recognize, or something simple.
however you would communicate intuitively—through normal conversation, question and answer setting, or other—check through that conversation with your tools. ask the deities or the spirit later on how true this conversation was as you experienced it, and compare. this works better if you record both aspects, the initial conversation and divination in part.
- A voluntary thing that’s easy to get it over with.
- Laziness.
- Dreaming while sleeping. (daydreaming not dreaming.)
- Delusions.
- something that everyone has. (aka Normal Daydreaming™)
• What Maladaptive Daydreaming actually means:
- Constant daydreaming for hours until it interferes your life involuntarily (even though it can start as a voluntary thing)
- having a lot of difficulty in fulfilling simply daily tasks (like eating, showering, sleeping) because of the urge of daydreaming.
- do facial expressions, body movement, muttering and/or whispering, legs shaking, finger tapping, walking and/or running around the area as you get too involved in your daydreams. (Which happens so frequently, especially in public, so we usually try to hide it and fail).
- being self aware of the fact that your daydreams are JUST daydreams, not reality.
- something very hard to get out of. (but most of the time we don’t want it to dissapear).
Want to try something new? Try Maladaptive Daydreaming!!!
It’s the best way to spend your time when you’re alone with your own thoughts!
It has a lot of amazing benefits, including!:
Wasting between a quarter and a half of your day daydreaming instead of doing useful stuff!
Pacing around your room like a caged animal until you feel dizzy and your legs hurt!
Jumping, running or doing sudden movements in the most intense moments that can lead to you accidentally hurting yourself in the furniture from running straight into it!
Making the same faces as the characters to visualize them better in your head!
Daydreamingin public, including the weird movements and faces, and hoping nobody saw you!
Making yourself happy, sad, angry or panicked just by daydreaming something as vividly as possible!
Dropping whatever you were doing just to daydream! Washing yourself? Doing your homework? Paying attention in class? Drawing? No!! Your daydream is more important!!
Imagining yourself as the-nobody-who-turned-into-a-hero-and-is-admired-by-everyone because no one cares about you irl!
Having multiple storylines with the same characters and alternating between them while you try to find the best one to keep!
Stopping the fictional daydream you’ve worked for almost half of your life just because a furry anime that came out recently has almost the same plot as your daydreams, and feeling like you’re stealing theiridea!
Switching your daydreams from a fictional world with fictional characters to using real life people!
Daydreaming about situations that have a close to zero chance of happening, and obsessing over them happening!
And if they can happen irl, daydreaming about them until you actually dothem!!
Daydreaming about people you’ll never meet, and I don’t mean only celebrities!
Obsessively daydreaming about said people as a coping mechanism that you’ll never meet them in real life!!
Slightly altering your daydream after you find something new about those people, which conflicts with the current storyline!
Having dramatic daydreams about what someone might say and what you’ll answer and how you’ll feel, only to get an underwhelming answer irl!
ImaginingTHE worst scenario if something bad happens to someone and you know about it only vaguely, and seeing it so clearly in your head that you panic because you don’t know what’s actually happening to them irl!
Taking the “thinking about what you could’ve said in an argument” to the next level and preparing yourself in case one happens based on vague hints that it might happen!
Daydreaming so much about an idea and for a longer period of time, “waking up” and being sad that the daydream wasn’t real even though you knew it wasn’t real from the get-go!
And this is only my experience! Yours could be completely different! Maybe even better than mine!!
Experts recommend starting it as early as possible, preferably in kindergarten!! So you can daydream for as long as this short life allows you!!
Soon enough you won’t want to live in this boring “real” life anymore!
I saw a post talking about how losing MADD would suck because it’s sort of become apart of their identity and that even though it’s “maladaptive” it feels like it would genuinely suck to lose it and like I totally agree.
Like personally I wouldn’t be bored if I stopped daydreaming (mostly cause I’ve been using madd to avoid my responsibilities and hobbies) but I would feel like I’ve lost a part of me. Thinking about not daydreaming feels scary cause like I’d be opening a hole that madd was filling and by getting rid of my daydreams I’d never be able to close it
I’m like honestly frightened about losing my paras. At this point they are a permanent part of me and who I am and to lose them feels like losing me
Reading posts like these, I want to remind everyone that healing from MaDD isn’t to stop daydreaming- it’s to stop being negatively affected by it. It’s to switch to immersive daydreaming. You don’t have to leave your paracosms, you don’t have to abandon your paras. It’s about targeting how and why your daydreaming negatively impacts you (intrusive daydream themes, urges to daydream in inappropriate situations, etc.).
The points made in the above post are so valid, and I really do resonate with them. But there is an established difference between non-MaDD and non-daydreaming.
another annoying madd thing: memory loss from such frequent and intense daydreams. idk if this happens to idders too but i literally remember my childhood daydreams better than the childhood itself and even now i could tell you what the daydreams were about in detail. it’s literally so easy to lose track of time when i slip into daydreams and this is how i lose hours, days to do my work. i don’t remember key things about my life, sometimes i feel like im no longer a real human being, only the narrator of the stories inside of my head, the observer. i don’t even have a personality of my own, im just a bunch of people i carefully created inside my head
felt this so deeply. i’ll start to daydream at like 6:00 then i blink and it’s 10:00 and it’s so wasteful of my time. i’m also starting to lose childhood memories, and i also feel like i would have nothing interesting about myself without my paras. they’ve been around for too long for me to get rid of them.
I just spent an hour and a half talking out loud to my paras about the show Masterchef. I think my lack of social interaction is slowly driving me insane.
no fr i do this way too often one time i had a conversation with my paras about american history that was fairly long
I’m bored and need more stuff to listen to, so what was the last song that you guys daydreamed to? you can explain why you chose that song if you want. I also just like hearing what you guys have to say :)
if your daydreams were a tv show what would the twitter discourse be about ? i think mine would be about how much trauma dumping there is and too much violence and/or triggering themes
oh my a lot of addiction, bad relationships, and whore behavior also religious abuse and much much more LMAO. it might be problematic who knows it does have some good meanings under it all tho :,)
