#i am distraught will
10 years is a long time.
usually that length of time expands as distance psychologically, and gives us space for healing, but obi-wan has not moved on at all—physically he’s abiding in a liminal space on the edge of civilization, bound by a sort of invisible tether to anakin’s child, and psychologically, he’s still dreaming about him, still living in a fog. hearing anakin’s name still makes him flinch like it’s a physical blow.
the fact that after a decade he’s still waking up with nightmares, still living in that same mental space full of unprocessed trauma, like he hasn’t let himself process, despite all his solitude and time for meditation and reflection, he hasn’t allowed himself to let go in all the ways that matter. he is still clinging on to the past, and it makes sense!! to lose your entire world, all your loved ones, betrayed and hunted. i wouldn’t let go easily either.
he’s really and truly not a jedi in the beginning of the show, because he’s not practicing the jedi philosophy at all—he’s not helping others. not letting go. it’s like when he was enslaved on kadavo during the clone wars, and beaten when he tried to help others, until he stopped trying, because he thought it was better, that he couldn’t help without harming. it sapped something vital from him, something that was missing in the show as well, until he made the choice to try.
the show has chosen a beautiful character arc for him, and one that is going to rip my heart into a thousand pieces. he is going to let go of anakin, and release that lingering, itching sense of failed ownership over his future. he is going to give up on anakin, and by doing so, he is going to gain resolve, purpose, and hope. he will find his way back to the force, hear the voice of qui-gon, and build a home, instead of lingering on the fringe of civilization like some kind of ghost.
it took 10 years for him to release his guilt and shame, and we get to watch him be freed from that chrysalis, bless and thank.
‘Obi-Wan is going to give up on Anakin.’
