#i have such evil characters
humantorchwithsarcasticcomment:
describe your dnd characters in the worst way possible
Big boy left home to do crime but he found out the real crime were the friends he found along the way.
hasn’t seen another living being in 40 years and cant function properly in society. Just wants to go home.
Left home for money. Thinks she’s super tough and intimidating. Her current quest is to stop her fave drink from being discontinued
cow man has commitment issues, joins a death boat
big spicy dad too spicy for other paladins
trees are important
That Stereotypical Elf
cockney blanket, complete with cat
Purple robot seeks friendship
Failed stand up comedian finds love in a huge punching wife and goes to Fantasy Disney Land
Demon baker seeks estranged mother, is very gay and cute
Failed experiment cat flees home with 99 other kittens, becomes a drug dealer.
Giant soft ball of cat gets abandonned in a trash can when she’s 4yo. Gets obsessed with shiny shit.
Descendent of a dragon sets everything on fire, gets kicked out of home, joins ragtag group of weirdos and continues to set everything on fire.
Local beefcake finds religion and axes, gets a lot of both. Throws axes and religion at people. Her God is a bro and a deer. Is trans.
Local half orc gets high and joins the police force in a weed fueled joy ride
Cat.
Local freckled street rat tempts fate and tries to see how many things he cane flirt and/or make out his way out off
Gay dragonborn sells his soul for rock and roll, isn’t very good at black magic or music.
Bisexual biracial woman prevails herself to be the shittiest teenager possible. Hits things with sticks.
Dragonborn paladin given second chance at life eager to throw it all away because the Wizard is a dick
Teenage girl who reaaaaaly doesn’t like lies. She’s also on fire and runs a small duchy
Brainwashing is better than murder because they’re still alive, right?
Name a Law. I’ve broken it. Vroom Vroom Motherfucker.
North Korean Loyalist but North Korea doesn’t exist anymore.
