#i needed to get that out

And so much time to do it since sleep is a foreign object to me lately. The night time is when I do all my thinking, my missing and my wanting. I think about you and your tendency to fuck my head up whenever we have a conversation. I don’t even think you realize you’re doing it, but you sure do it. I think about how when my little sister gets her heart broken for the first time I won’t be there to console her and tell her that the world isn’t actually ending, that it’s the end of a world maybe, but life will go on and there’s so much life to be lived. I think about how I want to go out and explore and see the world and go to school and make music and money and love so much love. I don’t know what’s keeping me here in Wisconsin, it’s cold here and it’s always beautiful but it’s also unforgiving and I think it’s sick of me. I want to create things that touch lives and minds and souls and I want to be happy without trying and I want to dance in the rain like I used to with Lauren and I want to drive around at 4 am and get lost looking for donuts with a boy and I want to get drunk and sing out loud in front of everyone. I wish I blogged more. I wish I wrote more music. I’m gonna start working out more. I do hope that I can figure out what I’m doing soon.