#idwtwtsm
Hey look, a new update! That’s like…two in the past 2 weeks. I’m on a roll.
I am hellbent on getting this series done and posted by the first of October. Will I accomplish it? Who knows. But I’m trying. There are some other ideas rattling around in my brain, so I’m stuck in this weird place of not being ready to be done with these characters but also kind of wanting to explore a new place. It’s weird. I’m tired. Probably shouldn’t be posting considering I’m at the point of being loopy, but here I am. Anyway…
This is a companion piece for When Everything’s Made to be Broken (I Just Want You to Know Who I Am) from Bucky’s POV - if you haven’t yet read WEMtbB, this won’t make much sense. But you know what? You do you, boo.
#17 takes place during part 5.
Word count: 950
Warnings: some stress and anxiety.
He’s got the first date jitters something fierce.
Which is dumb, because this isn’t a first date. Well, not really. They’ve already built a relationship together, were in the process of building a life together – under unusual and not exactly ideal circumstances, but a life together nonetheless – before that asshat found their haven and poisoned her. Hell, he’s even technically taken her out before. Sure it was in a barn, but he did a damn good job with it. It’s one of his favorite memories, and he knows damn well how much it meant to her.
Still. This is different.
He stares in the mirror as his hand lifts the razor blade to his face, then puts it down. Again. Maybe he shouldn’t shave, she likes his scruff.
But she also likes when he’s clean shaven. He raises the blade again.
“Get it together, Barnes. She’s not gonna care about your goddamn facial hair. Just shave your stupid face, that was what you were planning to do.”
Huffing impatiently at his own indecisiveness, he reaches for his phone for a second opinion.
He sets the phone on the corner of the vanity and enables the video chat so he can still move freely. While it rings, he parts his shower damp hair - to the side rather than the center – and scoops out a bit of pomade. Wait. Maybe just put it all back? Maybe he should just cut it all off and be done with it. He was planning on doing that before everything happened but hadn’t made it to any of the appointments he’d scheduled; his relationship with his hair is…complicated.
“Hey. Everything okay, Buck?” Steve’s face fills the display, curiosity immediately giving way to amusement. “Uh, Buck?”
Bucky knows he’s wide eyed and talking too fast, but he can’t help it. “Stevie, I need your help. Should I shave or leave it? I don’t know and I don’t know why I don’t know cause it isn’t like this is actually a first date I mean I’m already fucking in love with her and we’ve lived together she already knows everything about me but I’ve never in my entire goddamn life been this nervous for a date and I thought I knew what I was doing but it turns out I don’t and – why are you laughing at me?”
Steve just shakes his head, unable to stop and form actual words.
“THIS ISN’T FUNNY, STEVE.”
Somehow Steve manages to laugh harder, but Bucky can’t hear him anymore because it’s the type of laugh that’s gone silent save for Steve’s old man knee slaps. Then he drops the phone, and a moment later Bucky sees Wilson’s face.
“You look like Santa Claus, man. I don’t think she’s into that shit.”
“Goddammit, Wilson, I –“
The screen blurs a bit before Barton’s face comes into view.
“Doesn’t he look like Santa Claus?” Wilson’s voice taunts from off screen, “He looks like Santa Claus.”
“He does look like Santa Claus,” Barton agrees while shoving a piece of pizza into his mouth.
Wilson’s face reappears. “Lose the beard, man.”
“It’s shaving cream, you ass. I can’t decide whether or not I should shave for tonight.”
“You’re having an existential crisis over your facial hair?”
“Shut up, Wilson.” Bucky’s shaking hands suddenly remember the pomade, so he starts smoothing it through his hair.
The view in the screen shakes again and Steve’s vaguely apologetic face comes into view. “Sorry, pal.”
Bucky takes a deep breath and steels himself for his admission, “What if I screw this up?”
Steve finally takes pity on Bucky’s clearly real anxiety. “Buck, she loves you. She adoresyou. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
“But –“
“Okay, first of all, one bad date isn’t gonna scare her away – but you’ve never had a bad date in your life, so I don’t why you’re so worried.”
“What if –“
“Take a deep breath, Buck. It’s gonna be okay. You used to take girls out all the time, and they never had any complaints.”
“First of all, that was decades ago! What if I lost my touch? And Stevie, she’s not like those girls. It’s herand –“
“Bucky.”
He finally stills at the tone in Steve’s voice.
“You’ve kinda been planning this for ages, right? So you’ve already got everything planned out.”
He nods. “Yeah, ever since she mentioned wanting to see the show, but she figured she never would.”
“You’ve got the dinner reservations set for the place Tony recommended?”
He nods.
“And the tickets for the show?”
He nods again as he exhales loudly. “Yeah. I owe Stark big time for getting those Hamilton tickets.”
“Just the fact that you’re willing to owe Tony an unspecified favor for those tickets should tell you something.”
Bucky stares into the phone, unimpressed.
“You’ve got the keys for the right car?”
Bucky thinks for a second, then nods.
Wilson’s face appears again, “Get outta your head, Barnes! Give that hamster a rest, would you? It’s just a date.”
“Shut up, Wilson.”
The screen shakes when Steve takes the phone back. “Pal, you’ve got all the logistics figured out. Now all you need to do is pick up your girl and enjoy it.”
Bucky exhales noisily and nods. “You’re right.”
“Of course I’m right. Never thought I’d be the one giving you advice on dating, but there’s a first time for everything. Now get off the phone and go get her.”
Bucky rolls his eyes as he disconnects the call, but he feels better because they’re right. It is just a date. With her. If he can get out of his head, it’ll be as easy as breathing.
@hellomissmabel@howdoesoneadult @nykitass@danimuhle@iwillbeinmynest @shifutheshihtzu@passiononfire @learisa@widowvinter @kaaatniss@ladylizzieofdarbyshire@denialanderror @k-nighttt@givemethatgold@manders2487@afangirlrambles@polkadottedpillowcase@bluebrrn@saysay125 @aikibriarrose@saharzek@mmauricee-blog@imhereforbvcky @whenallsaidanddone@supernatural508 @scarlettsoldier @natalie-nightcourt @im-beautifully-sewn @lovemarvelousfics @feistytravel @tbetz0341 @nearly-whitches @jamie-leah @shliic @dessinemoiunehistoire @lucywinchester2000 @solarbarnes @a-proper-chicken @movingonto-betterthings@seekingkairos @part-time-patronus @natashasnight @fairislesheets@beccaanne814@jamesbarnesappreciationclub @scottish-pepper @new-romanticz1989
