#im still here

Hey everyone, sorry for being away for so long. I’m still here occasionally, but usually I’m just browsing other people’s art. I try to respond to messages when I have the time, so I’m sorry if it seems like I’m ignoring you.

ANYWAY, the reason I wanted to make this post is because I want to let you know I’m going to start reblogging other artists’ work more often. Since I haven’t been as active lately, I still want to help spread the gospel of the futa gods, so I think it’s only fair to my followers that I (hopefully) show them new futa artwork!

Please know that I haven’t decided to quit animating or anything like that! I still want to bring you guys new animations and pictures. I just have VERY limited time these days so I can’t work on anything for an extended period of time. I hope you all are doing well and I can’t wait to show you what I’m working on next!

Hello, My Lovelies! ♥ 

I need to apologize for my odd hiatuses and I feel like it’s high time that I should be honest with you all as to why I’ve been so flighty. Truthfully, the past year and a half has been just about the worst time in my life and I’ve had a really hard time admitting that to myself. I went back and forth about whether or not I should even make this post due to how deeply personal this is going to be but you all deserve my honesty because you’ve been nothing but lovely and supportive. 

 So, in the past year and a half health has been one of the largest contributing factors to my strange and drawn out hiatuses; and not just my own health (my struggles with my autoimmune disorder and frequent illness). In the past 2 years, I lost my Grandfather Bruno, to a combination of Colon Cancer, Dementia, and Surgery Complications. My Grandfather was a huge part of my life especially when I was younger but with his growing Dementia and as my grandfather progressed toward the end of his life; he could no longer remember who I was. In my heart, I know that he loved me and that he’s in a better place now but as selfish as it might be it doesn’t lessen the pain. I still look at old photos of him and think back on old memories of him and it still brings me to tears. Not long before my grandfather passed my Uncle Jeryk, had a stroke and fell into a comma; unable to be there when his own father passed. Now, my Uncle Jeryk lost his sight before I was born, due to diabetic complications, and though he never saw my face he always said that he could tell how beautiful and special I was just by the sound of my voice. He was such a good man that was kind to everyone he met and he deserved everything that life had to offer; and deserved more time on this earth than he was given. Less than a year on Life Support and my uncle experienced sudden complications, in which his body stopped producing RBCs and transfusions couldn’t save him in time. In a year and a half, that was the second family member that I had to say goodbye to and buried long before I was ready to. The loss and suffering didn’t stop there for me because just a month ago my Uncle Joe suddenly passed away from pancreatic cancer, but his passing was so sudden that it left my entire family heartbroken and shell shocked. Not because we didn’t know that his passing was an inevitability but because it happened far sooner than it should have. To lose anyone is hard but when you think and pray that you’ll have more time with them it makes their passing that much harder. 

 Similarly, my uncle Johnathan who previously had a run in with Brain Cancer 10 years ago found out that his Cancer had returned but this time it metastasized to other parts of his body and the cancer centralized in his brain progressed to Stage 4. When he had his first run in with Cancer it seemed benign and that everything would be okay. But now he’s dealing with the news that any moment could his last. He’s still undergoing treatment but with the severity of his case we don’t know how much time he has left with us. The alarming rate of Cancer cases developing amongst my family has me worried to no end but it hasn’t slowed down. My Great Uncle “Manny”, Manuel, who I consider to be more of a grandfather to me was also diagnosed with Colon Cancer and recently my family found out that he definitively has but a few months left to live. And more recently, my uncle Antonio was diagnosed with a form of Cancer that seems to be more aggressively metastasizing to other parts of his body (lungs, spine, etc.)

 Unfortunately, my worries haven’t ended yet, this past October, my dad was in a terrible three car collision and was rushed to the hospital. There my family found out that he had a few broken bones in his face, a TBI, Liver damage, and my father discovered he had Type II Diabetes. I thank God everyday that my dad pulled through that accident, but my dad was subsequently fired from his job about 1 ½ months after this accident. My father was out of work for over 4 months and with my mother being ill and disabled; my brother and I suddenly became the main sources of income for our family of 4. My job can’t offer me full-time work so I’ve been working as many hours as I possibly can to make sure that my family stays afloat; going so far as to take a semester off of school. And even so, I still sometimes struggle to make ends meet. Between my dad’s medical bills, medications, utilities, food, and every other bill under the sun I feel like lately I’m drowning. 

Recently my father found a minimum wage job until he can find something better but so far nothing has come along. Although, don’t get me wrong I’m beyond thankful that he has this job because it has taken some financial burden off my family’s shoulders. With everything that has been happening I’ve never felt so lost in my life and my depression and anxiety have been keeping me from doing the things that I love; like writing for you guys and honestly I miss it dearly. With that being said, I want to dive head first back into writing and posting content which I will resume very soon. I hate to ask this but if you guys enjoy my writing and would like to I would ask that you consider supporting me on ko-fi if you can/want to. 

Just know that I will get through this and I’m beginning to heal. I appreciate all of the support that you’ve all continued to show me and I’m definitely here to stay. Expect a story to be posted either tomorrow or Wednesday (maybe even tonight… we’ll see). 

 I love you guys, 

 Ash (video-game-imagines) 

http://ko-fi.com/videogameimagines(My Ko-fi)

mercuryo-cronyco:

Happy birthday Sting! (“The Police” edition)

I really have been missing you~

The hand in the face!

Behind the masterpiece~

I fall for this photos~

Angel in brown~

That thing that he does with his mouth!

A beautiful hand and his message~

Actually I want to take a picture too…

Deep eyes…

How Can I express all this love…

I want a hug too…

Starlight still here too!

He even looks like a siren in the sea calling to his love~

I really liked this style of video~ The blue is so sad but also romantic~

The song is out Starlight! Let’s support our boy~

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7 days!!

He is still a shy boy~

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I want all them!!!

Can I ask you how do you feel after fall from heaven?

I prefer to be a Starlight~