incorrect-dmcreboot:

Dante: Drink your school, stay in sleep, don’t do milk, and get 8 hours of drugs.

Dante: are you a toaster? because I want to take a bath with you

Lady: *worried* please seek help

Vergil: mistakes have been made.

Dante: … oh for fucks sake- where’s the body?

Dante: ugh I’m so stupid

Vergil:

Dante:

Vergil: If you’re waiting for me to disagree with you then this is going to be a long day.

Vergil: we spend way too much money. we need to find a way to cut down on out expenses. what can we live without?

Dante: you.

Dante: bitch

Vergil: blocked.

Dante: wait unlock me, I have to tell you something!

Vergil: unblocked.

Dante: bitch.

Dante: so I was thinking-

Vergil: that’s a first.

Nero: don’t make fun of Vergil

Dante: he won’t know!

Nero: he knows

Trish: this is where the lights turn off and the horror movie begins.

Dante: you saved my life!

Vergil: well, everyone can make a mistake.

Vergil: Dante.

Dante: yeah?

Vergil: you know what? when I look into your eyes… I see something beautiful.

Dante: really?

Vergil: yeah, my reflection.

Dante:

Vergil: I have an idea.

Dante: brother, your last idea was murder.

Vergil: I HATE EVERYONE!

Nevan:…Everyone?

Vergil:…

Vergil:not everyone, not you

Dante: when I was your age-

Nero: it was a long time ago…

Dante:

Dante: now listen here you little shit-

Lady: [sees someone doing something stupid]

Lady: what an idiot….

Lady: [notices that it’s Dante]

Lady: wait… that’s my idiot…

Vergil: I don’t date demon.

Nevan: [walks in]

Vergil: I marry them.

Trish: can you get us a table while I park the car?

Dante: sure.

*five minutes later*

Dante: [running out of the restaurant with a table]

Dante: START THE CAR!

Dante: remember that times you dared me to lick the swing set?

Vergil: no, I said “Dante, don’t lick the swing set”, and you said “Don’t tell me what to do, Vergil” and then you licked the swing set.

Deleted scene from DMC3

Dante: why are you naked?

Nevan: I… don’t have any clothes…

Dante, opening Nevan’s closet: you have a lot of clothes. like this shirt, this jeans, this coat, hi Vergil, oh and this sweater

Nero:

I’m not letting you dieㅤㅤ Vergil and Dante:

Dante: I’m so old, Nero.

Nero: yeah

Dante: you’re supposed to say that I’m not old

Nero: but you are

Dante: trust me, I know what I’m doing!

Nero: not even God knows what you’re doing, Dante!