#incorrect quotes




Robert Lightwood: How’s that gay phase going?

Alec: Better than your marriage.


*after Alec comes out*

A random Shadowhunter: So what, do you fancy me? Huh, you wanna suck my dick?!

Alec: Nah… I have this thing called standards


Jack: what else are you good at? other than making my life fucking miserable

Brock: I can color

Andrew!Peter, pointing at Dr. Connors: Dis a lizard.

Andrew!Peter, pointing at Octavius: Dis an octopus.

Andrew!Peter, pointing at Tom!Peter: Dis a baby.

Andrew!Peter, pointing at himself:Disappointment.

Tobey!Peter, softly: Peter, no..

Pyro: [looks at the camera like they’re in The Office]

Scout, sobbing: h o w did they SAY THAT-

Scout: Its not gay if I wanna date Sniper like bros, right?

Demoman: I’m not an expert, but that does sound kinda gay.

Medic, reanimating a corpse in the background: I’m an expert. That’s pretty gay.

Engineer: Some sonovabitch keeps eating my pudding.

Scout, eating pudding: What kind?


Kiyan:If I’m extra sarcastic with you it probably means I’m flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can’t handle your crap… have fun figuring out which one.


Adrien: [leafing through Kiyan’s bestiary and herbarium] Why do you have to write down each and every word. It’s so nerdy.
Kiyan: Writing things down in nerdy? What do you do then?
Adrien: I just forget stuff, like a cool person.

Family game night

Sybilla:[reading from a game card] What’s something you put in your mouth but don’t swallow


Kiyan: [covering Adriens’ mouth] You actually swallowed last time so shut the fuck up.

Titus: [facepalming] Oh for fuck’s sake…!


Sybilla: Thank you sweet child, you’re right!

Friendly Note

Klemens:Master Kiyan,let’s write the Prince a friendly note, shall we?

Kiyan, writting: Dear… Incompetent… Dumbass…


Kiyan: Here’s a list of things I hate that Adrien for some reason loves.

Kiyan: Number one - me.

Adrien: Kitty, we talked about this.


Adrien: Me, I’m a man of action. You have to act first and apologize later. Like I have learned to do.
Kiyan: You never apologize.
Adrien: I would if I had ever been wrong.


Adrien to Kiyan: You thought this was going to be a casual one-night stand? But maybe it could be a casual… one thousand-night stand. Maybe we could keep casually having sex, and then casually have kids together, and then casually grow old together. Casually get on each other’s health insurance. Then casually die side by side, like in the end of The Notebook.


Kiyan:I’m concerned about how quickly this escalates.

Kiyan: What did you do?
Adrien: Alright, but you can’t get mad at me…
Kiyan: WHAT did you do?
Adrien: Okay, first, I was minding my own business–
Kiyan: [slams hand on the table] BULLSHIT!
Adrien: I WAS!


Chapter 12 be like:

Titus (about Kiyan, watching him slaughter Scoia'tael): That witcher is a hurricane.
Adrien (wistfully): He sure is.
Titus: …Hurricanes are bad, Adrien.

Jack: I have cat-like reflexes.

Dean: Prove it.

Jack, pointing to a cat:

Jack: See that? I like that cat.