#iron fey
Puck: Alright, folks! I wanna hear your best verbal smack down! I want you to cut your enemy open with every syllable! Ice-boy, start us off!
Ash: You’re a disgrace to your name, a blight on the land where you were birthed and a blemish on the face of your forebears.
Puck: Dated but poignant! I like it! Next!
Glitch: Listen, bro, if I gave a fuck about your opinion I’d be all out of fucks to give and I’m saving my limited quantity of fucks for something worth my time, and it ain’t you.
Puck: Snappy! Beautiful emphasis on the emotional indifference! Next!
Rowan:[censored] [censored] and[censored], so [censored][redacted].
Puck:…
Ash:…
Glitch:…
Puck: See, this is why we can’t have nice things…
Puck: I used every skill in my repertoire.
Glitch: How many skills is that?
Puck:One.
Puck: May I have this dance?
Ash: You absolutely may not.
Puck: Your loss.
Oberon: Robin needs to learn some morals and values.
Titania: Look at him and tell me there’s a God!
Puck, dangling upside down from the rafters by one foot:hEmAdEmEiNhIsOwNiMaGe
Titania: How did you find me?!
Oberon: I was merely lucky enough to have heard you shouting about going to the seaside.
Rowan, having just punched Ash in the stomach: You ready to go out?
Ash: Sure. Do you mind if I go piss a little blood first?
Rowan: Please, by all means.
Puck: Humans are wild, man. They’ve got whales with horns and that weird half duck, half otter monstrosity but want to argue over whether we exist or not.
Ash: To be fair, sometimes I have a hard time believing you exist.
Puck: How?
Ash: I’ve just never encountered so much unbridled chaos contained in a single, sentient vessel without spontaneously combusting. It boggles the mind.
Puck:…Fair.
Meghan: Something about this place gives me the creeps.
Tiaothin: You sure that’s not just Prince Rowan?
Rowan: [slasher smile]
Meghan: …No
Imagine convincing Rowan to watch a ghost hunting show with you, just for kicks. He begrudgingly agrees, and you two settle in to watch a couple episodes.
You notice he seems especially amused by certain episodes and keeps snickering to himself every so often. Eventually you can’t take it anymore and turn to him.
“What’s so funny?”
“You didn’t tell me Goodfellow was in this,” he says.
“…Cause he’s not?” you say, bewildered.
“He absolutely is,” Rowan says, “I recognize that house from his exact description of it from last Elysium. And the one before that was a gig he had a couple years ago. Pretending to be a malevolent spirit is one of his favorite hobbies.”
The rest of the night is spent with Rowan pointing out other dwellings he’s fairly confident Puck has haunted, and even an insane asylum he remembers visiting “way back in his youth”.
Puck, telling Ash a weird fact: IT’S TRUE!!
Ash: No, it’s not. I refuse to believe you.
Puck: I SWEAR ON GOD.
Ash: Sure you do.
Puck: I SWEAR ON YOUR LIFE.
Ash: I still don’t believe you.
Puck: I SWEAR ON MY LIFE–
Puck: I don’t have one–
PUCK: BUT STILL!!!
