#irritability

I am the tension of an elastic band being pulled in opposite directions; the yearning to eat everything and anything and soothe the anxiety, and the desire to eat absolutely nothing and starve all this weight away.

I hear myself snapping at my mother completely irrationally but I am powerless to suppress the inexplicable irritability that seems to have taken up residence within me.

I am angry at my weight.
I am angry at the scales.
I am angry at food for existing.
I am angry at my finances.
But most of all, I am angry at myself.