#it would be very easy to blame the wine and cheese for this

Last night I had a dream.

I don’t usually remember my dreams, but this one is significant because it’s a variation on one I’ve had before - one I used to have a lot.

As a child, I used to dream regularly about getting chased through what I can only describe as an old castle. One of the curious features of the dream was that I couldn’t touch the floor, and I had to keep jumping from wall to wall, and if I slowed down, I would fall, and whoever was chasing me would catch me.

In last night’s dream, I was being chased, and I knew that slowing down would lead to terrible consequences - but I was with other people. We were collectively trying to escape something - and the people with me kept getting lost, or taken.

As an adult, someone explained to me that dreams about being chased are generally a symptom of anxiety, specifically around unmet expectations or deadlines. And as I was marinating this morning in half-dread and wondering why I can’t sleep past 4 am, I had a thought that now that I’m in charge of people, it’s not just me I have anxiety over - it’s losing them.