#its always sunny in the 31st millenium

Emperor: The whole purpose of building the Glorianas in the first place was to get the emissaries nice and tipsy top side, so we can take them to a nice comfortable place below deck, and you know, they can’t refuse…because of the implication.

Malcador: Okay you had me goin’ there for the first half. The second half kinda threw me.

Emperor: Well dude, think about it. They’re out in the middle of nowhere, with some dude they barely know. They looks around and what do they see? Nothing but Space Marines. ‘Ah there’s nowhere for me to run! What am I gonna do, say no?’ Bam. Compliance. 

Malcador: Okay. That seems really dark.

“People change, Nemiel. Look at me: I went from a tiny twink to the muscle-bound freak you see before you.”

-Sar Zahariel, after concluding his genetic ascension to a battle brother of the I Legion Astartes ‘Dark Angels’

“Yeah, well, we won’t get got though. We gonna get. See, Corvus, people like us, we don’t get got. We go get.”

-Ferrus Manus, dismissing the Primarch Corax’s calls for caution shortly before the Dropsite Massacre, M31

Beneath the Imperial Palace

Malcador: Don’t you ‘Hey Malcador’ me. Jesus ChristEmps this place is a shithole. Is this how you’ve been living?

The Emperor, BBA: We make it work. Whaddya want?

Malcador: I want to talk.

The Emperor, BBA: What’s there to talk about?

Malcador: You were talking about giving away our Crusade to Horus.

The Emperor, BBA: Mycrusade. I made it, you watched it.

Constantin: Burn, there you go buddy. 

Malcador: How can you say that to me? After everything I’ve done for you? While you were out making enemies who do you think was at Terra, managing and leading and raising your children?

The Emperor, BBA (thinking hard): A series of unstable men?

Constantin: Unbelievable dude, you’re on fire.

Constantin and the Emperor high-five.