ask-jaghatai-khan:

“But surely you jest, M’Lord Vect.” the waifish alien mused, sipping from a fluted glass of some unknown intoxicant as she lounged back in her seat. The trueborn daughter of one of the high Archon’s senior Dracons, few could have enjoyed such casual conversation with a figure as imposing and feared as Asdrubael Vect.

“Please, you know my jests, dear Kaitria. If I were attempting to fool you it would be far less obvious and yet far more humorous. The creature is indeed a Mon’keigh.” the grand overlord chuckled through closed lips, eyes flashing for a moment in time with a great cheer from the crowds below.

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My boyfriend wants to make Orktober a thing— here’s my first contribution. :D

Fimir

“Fimir Warrior” © Games Workshop.

[Commissioned by @alquitranofmystara​. If you check my page for supporting the Codex, you may notice one new addition that hasn’t been there before. “I am not interested in monsters from Warhammer”. I have done some Warhammer monsters before, namely a handful of skaven, but have declined conversions of things like Space Marines and Warhammer’s Orks. I figured that I was okay covering ideas that are more obscure bits of the lore. Until the fimir.

I love the look of the fimir, kind of a Muppet Viking. My friend growing up had a copy of Hero Quest, which had a few fimirs in it, so we used those as miniatures for all sorts of tough humanoids. But when I was doing the research for this entry, I found that they have a number of traits that fall into my list of Least Favorite Monster Tropes

• They have a strong biologically determinate caste system, despite being chaotic (literally serving Chaos in WHF)
• They have an uneven sex ratio and balance of power between the sexes
• They can only reproduce via raping humans.

That last part has been quietly ignored in more recent editions of Warhammer Fantasy, as well it should be. But it continues to stress for me how grim and pessimistic and un-fun all of the Warhammer flavor text I’ve encountered is. So this is my last Warhammer monster. If you’re interested in a very deep dive into the fimir’s history, including why they were created, why they went ignored for a decade or two, and what Alan Lee piece inspired their look, check out this article.  My version strips out the biologically determinate caste system and replaces the rape with a different, less tasteless, form of reproduction.]

Fimir
CR 3 CE Monstrous Humanoid
This humanoid creature stands a head taller than a man. It has a beaked snout with a pair of curved tusks in the lower jaw, over which glares a single baleful eye. It is clad in mail and carries a stout axe. The creature’s tail ends in a lump of bone.

Fimirs are marsh-dwelling raiders whose numbers are bolstered by sinister magic. They were once fey creatures, but in dealing with demons they lost their connection to the First World. Fimir are sexless and can only reproduce by sculpting a new fimir body out of mud, reeds and bone, and then pouring life into it with the still beating heart taken from a humanoid sacrifice. As such, fimir need to raid other peoples on a regular basis in order to grow or maintain their numbers, taking captives for this awful ritual.

Fimirs prefer to fight from a position of strength, and usually travel in numbers. Their skin is amphibian like, smooth and moist, and dries painfully when exposed to direct sunlight. In order to minimize exposure, their formations usually fight from within a bank of magically conjured fog. The single eye of a fimir can see through this fog with ease, putting enemies at a disadvantage. Fimir usually wear armor and carry weapons into combat—axes, morningstars and longspears are all favored armaments. Even when unarmed, a fimir packs quite a punch in its club-like tail. Most fimirs have a solid mass of bone (dealing bludgeoning damage), but a few have bladed tails (slashing damage) or bony spikes (piercing damage) instead.

Fimir settlements are focused around a central stone stronghold, where the clan gathers to feast and boast, and several smaller outbuildings used as workshops or storage. Slaves do most of the menial tasks, either captives who have not yet been sacrificed or fimir who have fallen into slavery due to disgrace and failure. These drudges have their tails docked to deprive them of natural weaponry, and are sometimes used as fodder in warfare. Fimir advance by class level, with witch and barbarian being popular choices. Divine spellcasters among the fimir include sinister death druids and clerics of various demon lords.

Most fimir use male pronouns, but a few, particularly witches, take on feminine pronouns. Regardless of gender, fimir decorate their bodies with jewelry and tattoos.

Fimir                       CR 3
XP 800
CE Medium monstrous humanoid
Init+1;Sensesdarkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, mistsight, Perception +8
Defense
AC18, touch 11, flat-footed 17 (+1 Dex, +6 armor, +1 natural)
hp32 (5d10+5)
Fort+2,Ref+5,Will+4; +4 vs. disease, paralysis, poison, sleep, stunning
Defensive Abilities born of earth; Weaknesssun sickness
Offense
Speed20 ft. (30 ft. unarmored)
Meleebattleaxe +8 (1d8+3/x3), tail slap +6 (1d8+1) or tail slap +8 (1d8+4)
Rangedjavelin +6 (1d6+3)
Spell-like Abilities CL 3rd, concentration +4
3/day—obscuring mist
Statistics
Str16,Dex13,Con12,Int10,Wis10,Cha13
Base Atk +5;CMB+9 (+11 bull rush); CMD20 (22 vs. bull rush)
FeatsImproved Bull Rush, Multiattack (B), Power Attack, Skill Focus (Stealth)
SkillsPerception +8, Stealth +9, Survival +8, Swim +7
LanguagesAklo
SQburly,swamp stride
Ecology
Environmentcold and temperate marshes
Organizationsolitary, pair, gang (3-8), raiding party (9-24 plus 0-1 3rd level witch or barbarian per 10 individuals) or clan (40-400 plus 1 3rd level witch and 1 3rd level barbarian per 10 individuals, plus 1 6th – 8th level witch or barbarian)
Treasurestandard (breastplate, battleaxe, five javelins, other treasure)
Special Abilities
Born of Earth (Ex) Because of their unusual, quasi-natural physiologies, a fimir gains a +4 racial bonus on all saves against disease, paralysis, poison, sleep and stunning effects.
Burly (Ex) A fimir gains a +1 racial bonus to its CMB and CMD.
Swamp Stride (Ex) A fimir can ignore difficult terrain from mud, vegetation, shallow water and other natural features of marshy environments.
Sun Sickness (Ex) A fimir is sickened in an area of natural sunlight.
Tail Slap (Ex) A fimir’s tail slap is a primary natural weapon.

григорий эйзенхорнович и его чебупель

think a lot about titus endor

моя цаца мой бесполезный гедонист и его крЕпКаЯ мужская дружба с грегором

Most of my Seraphon starter box, all done. Just waiting on the new battletome now….