#it’s blurry as fuck sob

and again i am abandoned

poem transcript under the cut.

[poem transcript:“If only I had swallowed my hurt

let the razor-sharp edges cut my throat,

let the dark red wine wash the sins away.

Maybe then I wouldn’t be in this corner

begging God for an answer

screaming my throat raw.

Instead I wore it as a medal

shiny and loud for everyone to see.

Unwilling to die quietly,

I held a parade in place of a funeral.

I am the entire procession

and Lucifer the only witness.

What would they think

if they saw me now?

Would they tiptoe around me,

afraid of detonating the bomb

of my being,

or would they avoid me altogether

and laugh as the trumpets blare?

If only I had swallowed my hurt

maybe then they wouldn’t have left.” [/end transcript]