Our Flag Means Death, Messing Around

“Oh fuck, Stede, yes. That’s it, that’s the spot-”

“I don’t know, are you sure?”

“Yeah, just for the love of God, put it up!”

Izzy couldn’t sleep. For many reasons. The annoying cries of the seagull in the swedish man’s bunk, the snoring of the two men he was forced to sleep next to…but especially because of Stede fucking Bonnet. He’d finally had his captain back. The legendary, merciless Blackbeard. For a whole week before Bonnet had showed up on a dingy boat, climbing up to the deck like a barnacle from hell, begging for his captain’s forgiveness.

Instead of cutting down the man where he stood, Blackbeard-no. Edward, crumpled into the nancy boy’s arms, a sobbing mess. All for Stede fucking Bonnet. Oh, and apparently he’d picked up a friend along the way. The pain in his ass known as Lucius. Instead of drowning, he’d apparently stayed above water just long enough for Bonnet to find.

So yes, all of that made it very difficult to sleep. The first mate going to the upper deck for fresh air when he heard the noises coming from the captains quarters. The sounds of something hitting the wall over and over again combined with what he heard made Izzy want to live up to his nickname.

“Stede, could you try moving a little? I can’t quite reach.”

“I’m trying but it’s not as easy as it looks.”

They truly has no shame. And it made his blood boil. Storming over to the door, he slammed it open prepared for anything.

“Captain, I can’t let you continue to fornicate with-I, ugh-what the hell is going on in here?”

The two were not in fact, fucking on the wall as he’d expected. Instead they were….hanging a picture?

“Oh Iz, hey. What’s up?” Ed said nonchalantly as he eyed the first mate.

“What are you doing?”

“Hanging Stede’s wife’s portrait. It fell down. Didn’t have a hammer so we have to improvise.” Edward raised his hand to reveal the rather large book in his hand. Izzy stared at the two men for a moment, sputtering for something before awkwardly leaving the cabin. The two waiting for a moment before Stede turned to his partner.

“I can’t believe he bought that.” Stede said, a bit surprised.

“Oh please, Izzy won’t say it but he gets embarrassed very easily.” Edward shrugged, taking off the floral robe he’d scrambled for earlier. “Now. Where were we?”