#jackrhap writes

“Bridges and Clowns”

When the bridges start to fall

I tell them to burn them all

I won’t walk the line thats beyond repair

I won’t face a punishment deemed unfair

When the bridges start to die

Above the past, above they’d lie

I will walk away from them all

You won’t ever let me fall

When the chips start to fly

I’m there to catch them in the sky

I’m the smile to all your frowns

I’m the cleaner of all the clowns

~JR

“Let Me Waste Away”

And now that it’s all over

the past remains the past

I won’t return to The Gardens

of whatever I thought would last

I’ve seen too much of the world

I’ve spent far too much time

I’ve settled down and lain cozy

I’m a poet trapped in his rhyme

Let me waste away in your mind

Because you sat with mine and rot

But now you’re back to haunt me again

Inside a world I thought you forgot

Let go of what you thought we’d be

I will never open you for another day

So leave this place you dared to invade

And just let all of me waste away.

~JR

“Just Us”

I miss the days when it was just us

In our hotel by the sea

underneath the warm white covers

in the middle of frigid January

The hotel bar we sat along

spreading the stench of spilt whiskey

I miss the days when it was just us

When we were only two, not just three

now he warms up the covers

in this autumn’s frigid country

The hotel bar we sat along

sits three people who are clean

What happened to this mess

that we once called family?

What happened to the fireplace

burning in our hotel by the sea?

You tell me that we’re better now

But with your blindness, I can’t see

I miss the days when it was just us

Two young souls roaming free.

“The Plush Doll: My Take on ‘Linoleum Roses’”

Emory felt like she was in love, or so she thought. She met a painter while on a trip to the city, and it wasn’t long after that they moved in together. Nobody ever saw it coming, but I think that’s what Emory wanted. And now she claimed she was happy, with her boyfriend and her bedsheets and whatever security she felt she had left.

Emory loved her boyfriend, although sometimes he would get angry and rip up the paintings he made for her, but he is mostly okay. Except she hasn’t seen her friends in months because he doesn’t like them. And he doesn’t let her leave the house. And he doesn’t let her play the piano because it “hurts his ears”. And he doesn’t like her family, so they can only visit if he went out.

She lies awake at night because she is afraid to fall asleep without his permission, because last time she did, he yelled at her. So she looks at all the things in her house that remind her that she’s supposed to be in love: a ceiling white as snow, her comfy little bed, the plush doll, and the bookcase that holds all the books she wished she could read. ~JR

“The Thing About Leaving”

The thing about announcing that you’re leaving is that everyone starts acting differently. Family members who hurt you will tell you that they will miss you. People you never spend time with will fight tooth and nail to see you “as much as they can”. Everyone acts like you’re terminally ill, but only as if you chose to be. They act like you’re going to die soon, and that it all will be your fault.

They tell you that leaving is a bad decision. They tell you that you’ll never come home again, except where you’re going is home. They tell you that you’ll come running back to them, when really all you can think about is running away.

The thing about leaving is that it makes everyone go crazy. They don’t wanna lose what they have, even if it was forgotten about. It’s about control. Without control, we lose our minds. The hard thing about leaving is watching them out of control as you know you’ve finally gained it for yourself.~JR

“A Band Called Queen”

As a kid, I remember

Learning about love and ABCs

From the songs I grew up on

From a band called Queen.

As I got older, I remember

Head banging down the street

In my car, blasting the songs

From a band called Queen.

As a teen, I remember

Crying myself to sleep

The music that made me heal

From a band called Queen.

The songs that inspire

The songs that heal

The songs we hear

The songs we feel. ~JR

“This Yellow Band”

And so this bracelet that wraps around my wrist

Lies where the scars of yesterday have once lain

To mark how far I’ve come on this road

The road of healing and pain, sunshine and rain

To remind that I learned how to live again.

This yellow band that wraps around my wrist

Is a vow to never let self doubt and hatred win

It’s a victory won against myself

It washes away my own original sin

This yellow band covers up the marks of my skin

This yellow brand reminds me to be kind

It reminds me to stay strong

It reminds that I shall always be loved

It reminds me right from wrong

And so on my left hand

I wear this yellow band

To remind me where the past used to lie.~JR

“Gift to My Universe”

Once there was darkness

With no visible light

The universe gave me you

Which set everything right.

Dark corners shine brightly

Got rid of my blues

I thank the universe everyday

For someone as wonderful as you.

The stars placed us together

For I see this as fate.

Oh how could the universe grant me

Someone so kind, so gentle, so great? ~JR

“Love Will Catch Up”

All your words read like a poem

And play out like a song

You’re life’s greatest ballad

And I always sing along

You smell like a flower

And I’m your bumblebee

Buzzing around for your nectar

As far as these eyes can see

A real love like this is hard to find

It’ll bring you back home, it’ll make you lose your mind

Because when Cupid’s out to get you, there’s nowhere you can hide

Because love will catch up, and eat you from inside

I thought for all my life

I could never catch a tune

And then you took my December

And blossomed it to June

When all my chips are down

And the cards stacked too high

You’re right there to take good care

And never leave my side

“How I Learned to Love the Rain”

“Here comes the rain again,” I say as I wake up to the pitter-pattering of drops onto the roof. The sun is just about to come up and I am just about to throw myself right into the storm. But I never seemed to like the rain. I always thought rain was a dark and clouded version of the world, the resort we live in. I never seemed to find myself in the rain. I spent all my time in the rain waiting for the sun to come, complaining and despising the deep and depressing storm that was brewing just over my head. Rain is a cold, wet, and sad feeling it seems. I grew up being told it was God’s tears weeping down onto his creations, to punish us for our shortcomings. Rain was a dark display of depression inside a world I always wished to be full of sunshine and happiness.

Then I met people who like the rain. I was puzzled by the fact that someone could enjoy that dark and depressing place. I asked them, “What’s so great about the rain?” They told me about jumping in puddles and hoping for rainbows, and looking for bright cracks in the sky. They fantasize about the cold and refreshing moisture that is rain, the one that waters our flowers and sprinkles dew among the morning grass.

And so then, after all, I learned to love the rain. For me, rain was nature’s way of bringing pain. Sunshine was nature’s way of telling me everything will be okay. But maybe life is not meant to despise the storm, but the true art in life is about appreciating the sunshine and learning to love the rain.~JR

“Maybes of my Mind”

Maybe I’m stronger than I thought

Stepped away from a heart the lord let rot

Maybe I’m capable of love after all

And I’m not just a cold hard brick stuck in the wall

Maybe I’m smarter than I seem

Capable of achieving a nine year old’s dream

Maybe I’m capable of happiness after all

In order to learn to fly, I have to learn to fall

Maybe I’m kinder than I’d like to believe

All the things I’ve witnessed, the deaths I grieve

Maybe I’m better off after all

Light flickering at the end of a darkness-filled hall

Maybe I’m doing okayer than I predicted

Spent my life in the depths of addicted

Maybe I’m more worthy after all

With a life so big, how could one feel so small? ~JR

“Someone Right”

I cannot hold up your life upon my shoulders

For I bear the weight of all this baggage

You make me want to try, no more tears to cry

It’s time for life to give me someone right.

Strength lies underneath my weathered eyes

I’ve seen much in my life, heart cracked many times

Through sunshine and rain, through peace and pain

You know just how to make me smile.

~JR

“Driving at Sunrise”

Driving at sunrise in the somber summer silence

Roofed by a blanket of cloudy pinks and oranges

Sweet songs from the radio fill the silence with relaxing harmony to drift me off to sleep again

Headlights on the highway fly like stars descended from the sky

Day after day again, though I may never know why ~JR

“Song of a Tastless Summer”

tastes like a summer without love

that i didn’t know i would never get back

it sounds like a downward spiral

into an endless pit of black

it was my only joy that summer

sounds to release a happy cry

the last one before the autumn

the autumn where dreams went to die

it reminds me that you can give all you want

but that takers can only take

it reminds me of a chaotic imbalance

of a series of lovers fake. ~JR

“New Life, New Love”

A sweeter rose is now in bloom

Meant to spruce up this darkened room

A new beauty to love, a lover to hold

To warm up my heart of cold

I’m thankful for all that I have found

All the people, the music, the nearby towns

Maybe I can’t go back to where I began

But I don’t need that life again

A new love is a new turn down another path

The one that’s calmer, less taken, less wrath

And it’s within this new life I can learn to live

I can learn to be kinder to myself, learn to forgive.

“Hear Me Out: Why Broadway Stage Dooring Needs Better Restrictions”

For active theatergoers, mostly of the younger generation, know that a common post-musical activity is doing stage door. “Stage dooring” consists of audience members and fans of a particular musical going to the stage door outside of the theater to meet actors for photo opportunities and playbill signatures, and this trend has been increasing greatly over the past few years. While this is a fun, free, and public experience for many, theaters are starting to pull back and restrict these experiences. Stage door, while enhancing a theater geek’s Broadway musical experience, has caused many unsafe experiences for Broadway actors and audience members alike, which is why Broadway theaters should start placing heavier restrictions or outright eliminating post-show stage door experiences.

Alex Brightman, Brendon Urie, Barrett Wilbert Weed are just three Broadway stars among the long list of people who have dealt with unsafe stage dooring experiences in recent years. From being followed home and thrown into excessively large and anxiety-inducing crowds, to being threatened, actors have been placed in danger due to stage door. Many actors and actresses are starting to pull back on making appearances due to feeling unsafe and anxious when in these large, loud, and chaotic crowds. However, it’s not the fault of the actors, it’s the fans.

Stage dooring is a privilege for the theater community to have the experience of a lifetime, and while fans deserved to be entertained, privileges can be taken away as well. If the theater community can’t learn to behave properly, cast members are made to feel unsafe and pressured. These hardworking actors and actresses deserve respect and to be treated properly, which also includes the increase of those leaving shows early to get a spot in line for stage door, referencing the drama surrounded by Colleen Ballinger’s run in “Waitress”. If we can’t learn to appreciate and respect the privilege we have as theatergoers, we should not have the privilege at all.

It’s not even just the actors as well who are negatively impacted. Stage door crowds have gotten increasingly bigger and rowdier as the years have gone by, making it hard for those to find good standing spots and for people to meet their favorite actors. People who often stalk cast members and make daily and weekly visits to the theater, people being pushed and crammed inside dozens of people in small spaces can be uncomfortable for those just trying to have a good post-show experience. Without much order or supervision at stage door, this makes it unsafe for both cast members and audience members.

As more and more incidents relating to stage door drama are on the rise, there is still hope that the broadway community can work to make these experiences safe for both the actors and audience members. While theaters and actors personally may be able to make the choice to eliminate stage door experiences, they may also be able to place a limit on how often these experiences occur, or how many people are allowed at stage door. Placing limits and better boundaries can reduce the chances of another incident occurring, so both audience members and cast members can benefit.

To help enhance the magical experience of seeing a broadway show for everyone, stage dooring is one of the many areas that should be worked on in the community in order to improve the safety and experiences of both cast and crew members of shows and theatergoers. The drama and danger of this broadway trend has risen more in the past couple of years, and it’s time something is done about it. Being offered a free and public experience for those to meet their favorite broadway actor is a privilege, so we as the community should work towards a better experience for all to keep the stage dooring tradition going for years to come.~JR

“Maybe I Might Miss This”

Maybe I might miss this

Counting caterpillars crossing the street

The sunrise saying “salutations” at 6am

The fresh air of the farmland filling my lungs

Engulfed by the fog, pink clouds passing by

Gazing at the sky, almost time to say goodbye

~JR

“My Rainbow”

You said “look for me in rainbows”

And they start to appear

In my dreams, in my thoughts

You’ve made your presence clear

Shades of yellow and red

Green and blue

Whenever I see the rainbow

I know it must be you.~JR

“Recipe for a Friend”

A teaspoon of love

Cause the Lord knows I need it

A half cup of kindness

Sprinkled in with some wit

A believer in peace

Someone warm and inviting

Like a hot soup on a winter’s day

For loving, not fighting

An antidote to sadness

Negativity we’ll destroy

A bringer of light in my eyes

A co-creator of joy

Someone with space

And empathetic at times

The recipe calls for more attention

And I’ve run out of rhymes. ~JR

“The Lonely Traveler…Revisited”

running through the meadows

driving down these backroads

Growing father from home

I’m a lonely traveler, wherever I roam

on foot or by sea

or riding across the land

I’ve seen blue western skies

I’ve felt the New England sand

Maybe I wander too much,

But lost I am not,

My home is where I travel

And loneliness, I forgot ~JR