Mechanisburg and the Space Race

Mechanisburg had been unaware of the space race when it first started. Otherwise they would have made sure the first person put into orbit around the planet was actually intended to survive the experience.

As it is, they are very shocked and offended that there is apparently a space race going on, and not only were they not invited, they are already loosing. The Soviet Union has already launched the first working satalite. The resulting tantrum from the Heterodyne sees the first potted geranium, the first live duck, and the first ant farm launched into space. (The sentient ants that ran the farm got used to it pretty quick, but did wish they had had some warning first.)

After that they get serious, to make up for lost time they launch the first eastern european entertainment broadcast satalite. (Which featured such Mechanisburg Favorites as “The Snail Kitchen,” “Death Devestation and Horror,” “DYI Surgery,” “Best Rants of the Heterodynes,” and “The Happy Funtime Hour.”) Every household in America was watching Mechanisburg TV programs. At least until people finally, finally, figured out how to turn them off.

The pride of the Mechanisburg space program however was the first space-ship they launched. The bronze dragon head on the prow was really the first clue that they had taken the concept of a “space ship” a bit too literally.

What they build is basically a giant viking longboat crossed with galleon, with a giant glass dome over the deck, two huge rocket engines attached to the side, and which is pointed straight up to the sky. And since this is to be the pride of Mechanisburg, the first cosmonauts the Heterodyne puts into space are naturally their best. (Though not necessarily their brightest.)

The Jagermonsters.

General Gkika is chosen the captain this first space ship and charged with getting the jagers picked for the mission ready for it. Which mostly involves them seeing how long they can hold their breath in case they get a leak in their suits. There is also the tricky question as to wether they should wear their hats on top of their fishbowl helmets or should make the helmets big enough to fit their hats inside. Launch protocols are just the unspoken understanding that they’ll hold unto the back of their seats during launch. At least until the ship gets into space and straightens out.

Bewildered international reporters, (who were kidnapped from their hotels at spear-point), report on a cermony that looks like something out of John Carter of Mars, complete with the multicoloured people and the large melee weapons, and get first hand views of “The Loonie Bin of the Eastern Bloc” launching a giant bronze viking ship into space, and hear the cheers when it clears the atmosphere and is able to hoist the solar sails.

The crew on the soviet space station is even more suprised. The cosmonaut that first spots it thinks they are hallucinating. Then they get the radio message telling them to prepare to be boarded. The jagers wearing fishbowl helmet space-suits throwing grappling hooks and “swigging” over, do nothing to make the who scene any less sureal.

In truth Mechanisburg’s first space voyage is rather boring actually. There’s nothing up there to fight. The scientists on the space station surrendered on the spot and had nothing to loot except research data. The Jagers on the ship really have nothing to do while they sail around earth except drink and brawl. (Which is admittedly what they would have been doing back on earth anyway.) So they mostly bum around earth’s orbit, vandalize a few satalites, and are forced to turn back when they start to run out of booze.

There is nothing like watching a flaming viking ship re-enter the atmosphere and make a firey crash landing in the Black Sea. However once the waves calm down and the steam clears, the jagers waste no time in heading back home. The mechanical oars pop out of the side of the ship and they began rowing towards the Danube, the Dyne, and home.