I’m like,

and also the second, third, fourth…

I’m like,

Guest submission by Elad Nehorai

…and she was serious.

I was just like,

…and my husband asks what’s for dessert.

Their expectation:

Reality:

…again.

Guest submission by Elad Nehorai

Dismantling antisemitism is necessary work for antioccupation movements. Zionist sentiment surges in the aftermath of violent antisemitism - genocide in Europe, expulsions in SWANA, et al. - and European support for the creation of Israel was rooted in their unwillingness to allow Jewish communities to exist within their borders without killing them. No, antisemitism does not provide a defense for the occupation nor does it recuse its supporters of accountability, but Israel did not happen in a vacuum; rather, it happened in the context of anti-Jewish hatred, a Jewish refugee crisis that Europe’s antisemitism was responsible for and ignored, and a white supremacist system that disregarded the lives of both Jews and Palestinians. Jewish and Palestinian liberation is inextricable.

humanisticjudaism:

Shanah Tovah!

Have a happy and healthy 5779!

wenevergotusedtoegypt:

eusonyme:

where does a girl have to shop to find holy grape juice in the city of boston?!

Usually the kosher grape juice is in the kosher section (however large or small that may be, depending on the store) at grocery stores, not the aisle where all the other juices are.

pretty much any stop and shop or star market! or the butcherie in Brookline!

Dear [shul],

Please to not be repeatedly printing wrong havdalah times on the bulletin. And then dismiss people who raise it to and in the ritual committee. And then ignore the group of women who are trying to get your attention during announcements to tell you it’s wrong.

People rely on those. They bring them home, and they USE THOSE TIMES.

It makes me sad, but this really isn’t an environment I want to be a part of/feel comfortable in any more.

tevilah:

So idk what other people who are still in gerius do, but when people who don’t really matter (so not a rabbi or idk when it pertains to being counted in a minyan) ask if I’m Jewish, my automatic response is yes???

Okay, this is something to be really careful with. There are times/situations where you have to be honest, even though it may be uncomfortable (read: suck) in that moment. Just because you don’t think they “really matter” doesn’t mean there can’t be issues (eg. relying/being yotsei on you for a mitsva you’re not actually obligated in, kashrut issues, wine/grape juice, ritual acts done on behalf of a community/someone else, issues around chagim and cooking, etc).

Skylar has great entries that I really recommend reading on this here: http://crazyjewishconvert.blogspot.com/2011/02/when-is-it-ok-to-say-im-jewish-even-if.html and here: http://crazyjewishconvert.blogspot.com/2011/03/when-you-need-to-reveal-your-conversion.html

UGH. when the time on your shul’s handout that said maariv & havdala was at 7:30 really meant that they were starting maariv then but that havdala wasn’t actually until 7:37, so you did it early.

LIFNEI EIVER IS A THING.

(Messaged one of the ritual comitte because this needs to not happen. So upset.)

Was just doing some research; really upset/sad about Starbucks drinks I thought were fine kashrut-wise but actually aren’t unless you’re at a kiosk store. Not least because I’ve had iced coffee since being “done” not realizing the dish-washing wasn’t regulated and that it’d be an issue. :-/

Sigh. :(

So I lost my original draft of this post (grr, Tumblr! No love!), but I wanted to get these things “down”, so to speak. Because I’ll forget, ALL too soon! MIKVA (and immediately after) DEETS.

• The night before, [sponsoring-rabbi] calls to see how I’m doing, and asks “so, wanna go out for one last cheeseburger”? Hee. I’m good. And more of a meat lovers’ pizza girl anyway ;-)

• Learning the prep run-down the night before with the kollel rebbetzin, who called me right after to make sure it had gone okay. She reminded me to actually DAVEN while in the water.
  

• The ALMOST freak-out around my nose ring not coming out, and the one regular beit din rabbi who was there not feeling comfortable making a decision because it would have to be their policy; so they went to the top at the RCA to figure out if they could rule it wasn’t a chatzitzah. Which they did.

• [Ima-extraordinaire] came with me. SO SPECIAL. If it were not for her and her family, I don’t know that I’d be here. They were my first exposure, my first standing Shabbat invitation, my safe space to learn and grow and figure it out without judgment or pressure, just pure unconditional support and love. Having her there was such a sweet recognition of the process coming full circle. The woman who taught me what it is to be a bat Yisrael, an Ima, who said “Amein” to my first shaky brachot, was there to say Amein when I said “v’tzivanu al ha’tevilah”. SO amazing.

• So we had a final beit din meeting in the waiting room. One of them asked me “so what’s special about today?” (it was also rosh chodesh Av). I started talking about spiritual rebirth, etc. etc., and he looks at me… and says “okay… and what about the rest of the world who DON’T know this is happening?!”. HA. OKAY YES 9 DAYS I SEE WHERE YOU ARE GOING WITH THIS I PROMISE!

• STILL being asked questions I didn’t immediately know the answer to. And then flipping it and talking about unpainted squares.

• The sweet shomeret giving me a tour, showing me where the resevoir was, and explaining how the contraption that would “cover” me while the beit din were in the room would work. The “checking” part was nowhere near as invasive as I thought it would be, and she was so nice and really put me at ease.
  

• The 3 questions once I was in the water (SUCH a comfortable temperature) and the beit din were in place… 1) do you commit to all the mitsvot - the ones you know, don’t know, understand, don’t understand;  2) do you commit to sending any children you may have to orthodox day school (!!!, okay, wow, that’s the ideal and I want to give them an education, absolutely, but this is a bigger conversation, can we maybe have that when I’m dressed?!), and 3) do you renounce all former philosophical beliefs/ideals etc.

• Wait they want me to dunk now? THIS IS IT OH MY GOSH. (”Koisher!”) - I was shaking while I said the bracha. The beit din, [sponsoring-rabbi] and [Ima-extraordinaire] all said Amein, then left. I dunked twice more and just kind of stood in the water to take it in for a second. The shomeret said to take all the time I needed.

• Got out, felt like my face was on fire, but SO HAPPY and couldn’t stop grinning! [Sponsoring-rabbi] read the paragraph giving me m name, then the beit din had me say shema. I stumbled a litle because of being totally overwhelmed, and plus it’s been a LONG time since I’ve *said* the words of v’ahavtarather than sung it.

• One of the stand-in rabbis commented about wishing me hatslacha but that he could tell by my personality that I wouldn’t need it, or something to that effect..!

• Went next door to shul where people were hanging out cooking for an event on shabbat and got hugs, said a bracha that OTHER PEOPLE WERE YOTZEI ON, and got more hugs.
  

• Atshul that night (kabbalat shabbat), [sponsoring-rabbi] wished me mazal tov again and said that I was “glowing” and had been since getting out of the water. My response? It’s sunburn. :P

I’m sure there’s more and I’ll add to this/add a second post, but wanted to get this up before too much longer.

I am so, so priviliged, and blessed, and HAPPY to have made it through this process.