#jewish parenting
You know you’re old when:
We were talking about Abraham and Sarah, as we like to work Jewish stories into our kiddo’s (S) education.
S: But that was a long time ago? Jewish people have been here a long time?
Me: Yeah, a really long time ago. Jewish people have been here for thousands of years.
S: Okay, so a Long time. Like the 80’s?
Me:
Apparently I’m peers with Abraham and Sarah. Good to know.
So, I’m Jewish now, but I was raised a southern Christian. The last vestiges of that culture are in speech - mainly bless your heart, but sometimes others.
Tonight, as I could see my Jewish 7 year old daughter being internally tempted to do something that would cause her harm. I quickly said (but not for the first time) “Don’t, babe, that’s the devil talking.”
Her, dissuaded but confused: “What?”
Me: “Sorry, devils are something Christians believe in. We don’t believe they’re real.”
Her: “But they are real.”
Now, this was alarming, but not too alarming - my daughter is still at that age where fantasy sometimes blends with reality (’are you really sure unicorns are’t real?’), and she has Christian friends. So I reiterated, “No, honey- Christians believe in, but Jews don’t.”
“No, Mom, listen, they’re real. They’re an animal. They live in Tasmania. I saw it on Wild Kratts.”Y’all.
My 7 year old Jewish baby thought that when I said “That’s the devil talkin” that I meant there was a Tasmanian Devil that whispers in your brain to try and get you to ruin your life.
Real life anecdotes
S is a bit older now, but…I’m still laughing about this. And yes, they still don’t know what the Christian devil is.
So, I have a small human progeny (S) that is into Minecraft. S went into a Old West Minecraft world and this happened:
S: /finds a church with stained glass windows
S: Oh, look! A synagogue!
Me: Oh?
S: Yeah! It has stained glass windows and…
S: /looks around, brow furrows
S: Why is the bima weird? And why are there wood Ts everywhere?
S: /begins chopping down crosses while humming
S: I’m sure whoever built this did their best, they were just confused. I’ll fix it.
Today in Black Jewish excellence…Daveed Diggs!
My Small Human Progeny (S) watched this with me. They now want a puppy.