“I don’t like labels but if you have to put a label on it, I’m a gay man.”
Actor Joel Grey’s best known role is that of the Master of Ceromonies in the musical “Cabaret”. He originated the role in 1966 on Broadway and won the Tony Award for Best Actor in a Musical. He reprised the role in the 1972 film by Bob Fosse, winning the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. And he appeared in the 1987 revival of the musical on Broadway. His long career spans over 55 years with roles on Broadway, movies, and television.
Grey knew he was gay at an early age, but a boy in the 1950s would think about coming out. Homosexuals were considered sick, and labeled queers, fags, and fagelehs — a Yiddish for little birds.
But Grey was forced to come out to his parents at the age of 16. Still in high school, he had been having an affair with then still in high school, had to reveal to his parents that he had been having an affair with a handsome young cantor (a Jewish clergy member) of their synagogue in Los Angeles. His wife had found out and Grey might be named in the divorce proceeds. While his father was supporting - his mother was not. When he reached out to her, she said, “Don’t ever touch me again, you disgust me.”
A therapist told him that it was a “stage” - something he would get over. And so began the process of concealing his real identity.
When he met his future wife, Jo Wilder, he felt he truly liver her. They had 2 children, including his daughter actress Jennifer Grey. During his marriage, he continued to have sex with men. He rationalize by saying to himself that because it was with men, He wasn’t being unfaithful to his wife.
“But if I had been honest, I would have asked myself what these moments with men truly meant.”
Finally in 1981, Grey opened up and told his wife that he was gay. They divorced a year later. Then in 2015 at the age of 83, he came out publicly in an interview with People Magazine. He followed this up with an autobiography, “Master of Ceromonies: a memoir”.
He explained that the people who were close to him have known for years he was gay. His children have been supportive, daughter Jennifer said, “I feel very happy for my dad that he has come to a point in his life where he feels safe and comfortable enough to declare himself in a public way as a gay man.”
As for Grey, after coming out he said:
“I was the same person — but better, for having no secrets.”
I’ve set up a new insta to share some of my fav Broadway/theatre trivia and photos - I’d really appreciate if you could check it out and give me a follow :) @jvoomtheatre
I’ve set up a new insta to share some of my fav Broadway/theatre trivia and photos - I’d really appreciate if you could check it out and give me a follow :) @jvoomtheatre
