#jojo spoilers

Jojo Villain Crimes Vs. Punishment

Dio Brando - Crime? Murdering a lot of people and also being an asshole. Punishment? Decapitation. He gets better.

Kars - Crime? Attempted World Domination. Punishment? Frozen in space, with so little stimulation that eventually he stopped thinking, even as the heat death of the universe carries over through 37 Big Bangs, Kars is still floating in space.

DIO - Crime? Horny on main. (also tries to kill the Joestars, but who hasn’t). Punishment? Being punched in half.

Kira Yoshikage - Crime? Serial Killer hand who blows up women so he may date their severed hands. Punishment? Run over by an ambulance and then his soul is taken to hell personally by one of his victims and her dog.

Diavolo - Crime? Selling drugs. Punishment? An infinite loop of continuously dying over and over in horrible ways, but never being able to reach death. He will forever be dying in pain.

Enrico Pucci - Crime? Being SUPER horny on main (for DIO) while maintaining his Catholic priesthood. Also accelerating the death of the universe so he may reincarnate the world and have a relationship with DIO again. Punishment? Being killed by an 8-year-old.

Funny Valentine - Crime? United States President that tried to make the country a wonderful place by pushing all the bad stuff somewhere else. Punishment? An infinite vortex he is trapped in, that kills not only him but every multiverse incarnation of him.

Mista: We gotta go meet up with Bucciarati!

Polnareff: But Bucciarati is…

Giorno: *gets close to Polnareff* I swear to mother fuck, if you tell them he’s dead, I will…

Polnareff: Okay… okay I got it.