#joseph sugarman

Joseph Sugarman might be the best example of an unintentionally abusive parent on television. All the shitty things he does are done out of love to try and protect his family, but his own inability to process emotions (and therefore sympathize with the emotions of others) is so damaged by the era’s expectations of male stoicism.

He lobotomizes his wife only after she becomes a danger to herself and their child, not knowing fully what the consequences would be, and only after she specifically asks for medical intervention (which, in that time, was very risky and limited). He tries unhealthy measures to make his daughter thin because he is concerned that she is being bullied by the other children. He pushes his daughter away from her education and into wifehood/motherhood because society convinces him that it is what will give her the happiest and most comfortable life. He burns the doll because it is infected with a potentially terminal sickness that could re-infect somebody in the house.

Everything he does, he does with good intentions genuinely believing that he is doing what is right for his family. But the show DOESN’T excuse him, DOESN’T imply that the negative effects of his actions weren’t powerful and permanent, DOESN’T let his good intentions overshadow the very real harm he did.