If i remember correctly, this is the first mxf couple I stan… ever:D
The completely aromantic-ME is even reading up chapters again and again just for the fluff. What is Tad Williams doing to me? What are these books doing to me?
Anyway… the large Funko heads sadly don’t allow for them to get any closer or I would have made them kiss Vorzheva slap her stupid man because he certainly deserves it often enough.
All Your Base Are Belong to Us: Due to his bother Elias calling onto otherworldly forces Josua finally loses his battle for his stronghold Naglimund. Him and a crowd of few can flee while the ‘monsters’ kill everyone else inside, earning Josua the mock “Prince of Rubble” by one of the Norns.
Handicapped Badass: Having only one hand does not stop him from riding into battle with his army or from fighting and killing a couple of otherworldly Norn-warriors when they attack Naglimund. He even killed the Thrithing-man Utvart in a sword-fight, although Josua was smaller, older, starved and severely beaten up the day before.
Luke, I Am Your Father: Turns out he isn’t King Prester John’s son; he’s Camaris’.
Bond One-Liner: Has one after - against all odds - killing Utvart of the Thrithing-men, who kept mocking Josua throughout the fight by calling him a 'small man’ that talks too much. Josua: “Tall man, it is you who talks too much.”
The Wise Prince / Badass Bookworm: He’d far rather be studying than leading, and is among the most learned of all the noblemen in the story. In the end, he gives up his crown and joins the League of the Scroll.
The Chains of Commanding: He hates the burden of leadership and would much rather be studying old books.
Modest Royalty: He never dresses in the pomp fitting his station and indeed has to be cajoled into even wearing his crown.
OOC Is Serious Business: When his small party of survivors just barely manages to escape the doom of Naglimund, he beholds the burning stronghold from a hill, raising a hand and exclaiming that he will take the crown from his brother Elias - though against all false allegations he was never interested in power and later only understands it as a means to end the threat posed by Elias’. Josua: “Now you are king no longer! I will take the crown from you. I will take it, I swear!”
Cain and Abel: He plays The Wise Prince to his brother Elias’ Hot-Blooded nature, and pays for it by getting picked for a blood sacrifice to the Storm King.
Slap-Slap-Kiss: Josua and his lady Vorzheva have several moments like this.
Used material: “Camaris” is the Artwork Design by Alex Chen, “Cain and Abel” a medieval painting by Orazio Riminaldi. The others come from Pinterest, but give no credit and some of them got lost to me while browsing for pics. If you know any of these pics and have details for the credits, please let me know! Pinterest-sources so far: 1,2,3,4,5,
Fanart for Tad Williams’ “Memory, Sorrow and Thorn” Vorzheva being habitually annoyed, Strangyeard loving his scrolls, Josua internally screaming, Deornoth trying to keep his eyes off his prince and Sangfugol being the only sane person around.
Frame and Banners were created with mapeffects.co/. The background texture was included in the pack as well.
Created in Clip Studio Paint on a Wacom Cintiq, edited in Photoshop.
»Duke Isgrimnur, as usual, exaggerates. I was forced to knock him to the ground and sit on him to save my own life.« (The Dragonbone Chair, ch. 7)
»Even if you are correct, how would I escape? The castle gates are doubtless closed for the night. Should I walk up to the inner gate dressed as a traveling minstrel and try to sing my way out?« (The Dragonbone Chair, ch. 12)
Doctor Morgenes: »I fear worse things even than the imprisoning of the king’s brother.« Josua: »The imprisoning was bad enough for me.« (The Dragonbone Chair, ch. 12)
Josua: »Then we will go by and visit your wife, and you may tell her about your undiminished love of the ladies.« Isgrimnur: »Prince Josua, you’ll never be too damn old or exalted that I can’t knuckle your ears, just you see if I can’t.« Josua: »Not today, Uncle. I’ll need ’em to appreciate just what Gutrun has to say to you.« (The Dragonbone Chair, ch. 35)
Vorzheva: »You are stronger but you must sleep sometime. Then I will kill you and kill myself.« Josua: »There are too few of us left for any killing.« (The Stone of Farewell, ch. 9)
Fikolmij: »Prince Josua has more gray hairs than old Fikolmij!« Josua: »I have had a difficult spring.« (The Stone of Farewell, ch. 17)
»I will do my best to look like a nice person to marry.« (The Stone of Farewell, ch. 21)
»Ride on!« Josua cried. »I am married and an outlaw!« (The Stone of Farewell, ch. 21)
Isgrimnur: »What do you say we move this idiot and his mule out of the road?« Josua: »Yes, I think so. But I don’t think it’s the idiot drover who will need convincing - and mules are no respecters of princes.« (To Green Angel Tower, Part 1, ch. 25)
»Here, drink up.« The room (ship) lurched once more, and wine splashed onto his wrist. »Come, while there is more in the cup than on the floor.« (To Green Angel Tower, Part 2, ch. 23)
Bonus =D
»First you tell me our only hope is to find this trio of legendary blades, and now you say that two of them are in the stronghold of my enemy brother. What of the third? Does Pryrates use it to cut his beef at table?« (The Dragonbone Chair, ch. 34)
»Duke Isgrimnur, as usual, exaggerates. I was forced to knock him to the ground and sit on him to save my own life.« (The Dragonbone Chair, ch. 7)
»Even if you are correct, how would I escape? The castle gates are doubtless closed for the night. Should I walk up to the inner gate dressed as a traveling minstrel and try to sing my way out?« (The Dragonbone Chair, ch. 12)
Doctor Morgenes: »I fear worse things even than the imprisoning of the king’s brother.« Josua: »The imprisoning was bad enough for me.« (The Dragonbone Chair, ch. 12)
Josua: »Then we will go by and visit your wife, and you may tell her about your undiminished love of the ladies.« Isgrimnur: »Prince Josua, you’ll never be too damn old or exalted that I can’t knuckle your ears, just you see if I can’t.« Josua: »Not today, Uncle. I’ll need ’em to appreciate just what Gutrun has to say to you.« (The Dragonbone Chair, ch. 35)
Vorzheva: »You are stronger but you must sleep sometime. Then I will kill you and kill myself.« Josua: »There are too few of us left for any killing.« (The Stone of Farewell, ch. 9)
Fikolmij: »Prince Josua has more gray hairs than old Fikolmij!« Josua: »I have had a difficult spring.« (The Stone of Farewell, ch. 17)
»I will do my best to look like a nice person to marry.« (The Stone of Farewell, ch. 21)
»Ride on!« Josua cried. »I am married and an outlaw!« (The Stone of Farewell, ch. 21)
Isgrimnur: »What do you say we move this idiot and his mule out of the road?« Josua: »Yes, I think so. But I don’t think it’s the idiot drover who will need convincing - and mules are no respecters of princes.« (To Green Angel Tower, Part 1, ch. 25)
»Here, drink up.« The room (ship) lurched once more, and wine splashed onto his wrist. »Come, while there is more in the cup than on the floor.« (To Green Angel Tower, Part 2, ch. 23)
“Beneath these stones my friend is buried. Sir Deornoth. ‘Make me a knight, Josua,’ he told me on the day I first saw him. ‘I wish to be your tool and God’s, for the betterment of our people and our land.’
“He was a fool—a holy fool. He died defending this place—a single battle, a single skirmish took his life, yet without him, the chance of a greater victory would have been lost long ago. He died as he lived, trying to do what was not humanly possible, blaming himself when he failed, then getting up and trying again.
“Will his death mean nothing? For if we do not win this fight, there will be too many graves for one more to make a difference, and there will be no one left to mourn for people like Deornoth.
“Please. Don’t let his death be meaningless. This is our last chance. After us comes darkness.”
Prince Josua to Sir Camaris (Shortened from Tad Williams’ “To Green Angel Tower”, ch. 23)
Prince Oberyn, ~42, called “The Red Viper”. A renowned warrior and a tall and athletic man “quick as a water snake”. Decided to become Tyrion Lannister’s champion in the Trial by Combat which is to determine the man’s guilt or innocence in the murder of King Joffrey. Did so to avenge the murder of his sister Elia and her children by the hands of Ser Gregor and to hear the man confess these deeds. Poisoned the tip of his spear.
Ser Gregor, –35, called “The Mountain (That Rides)”. A giant of 8feet in height, known for his prowess in battle, for his cruelty and strength. Wields a two-handed sword with only one hand and is clad in an armor too heavy for any other man to wear.
Prince Josua, ~40, called “Lackhand” for the loss of his right hand in a skirmish. A tall and slender man, who has been wandering through the wild for a month with a small party of survivors in search of a place of safety. Beaten bloody by his captor, Thane Fikolmij, the day before for ‘stealing his daughter’. Forced to fight for the lives of his companions, his own and that of his mistress Vorzheva (Fikolmij’s daughter) and their unborn child. Fighting with a sword named ‘Naidel’.
Utvart, ~35, a member of Clan Mehrdon of the High Thrithings. Known for his cruelty and to be a pedophile. Was promised the hand of his Thane’s daughter Vorzheva, which caused her to run from her clan by help of Prince Josua some years ago.
Sources:
A Song of Ice and Fire: A Storm of Swords - Chapter 70 - “Tyrion”
Memory, Sorrow and Thorn: The Stone of Farewell - Chapter 17 - “A Wager of Little Value”
BEWARE OF GORE AND EXPLICIT DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE!
“A Great Man Doesn’t Seek To Lead. He’s Called To It.” (Dune)
Josua ‘Lackhand’, Prince of Erkynland and all of Osten Ard.
Slayer of Giants and Norns, lover of lore, reluctant leader, habitual altruist, chronic overthinker and notorious melancholic.
With: his only “everyday jewelry”: the shackle he kept from his brother’s dungeon. his rarely used princely crown he’d trade in for a book right away. and his sword “Naidel, which he might or might not love a bit more than his wife.
