It was a great idea in theory. You could spend some time with the oh so hot 7:3 sorcerer. He could not often be prevailed upon to do things with his “co-workers” outside of the strict bounds of his schedule, but… he often made exceptions for you. It was probably because you knew what to ask for.
“Just a few drinks,” you assured, “We could use it after the day we’ve had.”
He really seemed to think it over for a moment before nodding, “First round’s on me. I owe you one for biting the bullet with Gojo for me.”
You waved him off, “He doesn’t bother me as much. I think it’s because he doesn’t know what to make of me yet.”
“Trust me, the less he knows about you the better,” he grumbled. Something about his grumpy exterior made you smile, maybe it was because in spite of all his griping, you knew Nanami still considered Gojo a friend. They were just two very different people. Nevertheless, Nanami had a way of annoying Gojo back that was always funny to watch. It was deadpanned, and people who didn’t know them thought Nanami hated Gojo and he did nothing to assure them otherwise. He really played up the “hopeless victim of Gojo” card.
“Right, I assume he’s leveraging some weakness of yours to keep you around.”
“Yes, I’m held hostage by his unwavering exuberance.”
“I’ve got dirt on Gojo that might help you out,” you offered, and at the same time the bartender set down your fruity mixed drink, and an extra shot of tequila. You thanked him as you pulled out your phone.
“Thank you, but I’m only just repaying a debt to you. I’d rather not gain a new one. Besides, you’re operating under the assumption that Gojo experiences shame, and I can assure you, he does not.
“You’re probably right about that,” you chuckled before sipping your drink. The two of you talked like you always did, complaining about work, recalling funny situations, even reliving a couple of embarrassing moments the two of you had experienced together. It was easy to talk to Nanami, though you knew many people found it to be difficult. Those people were just used to people who never said what they truly meant. Nanami said what he meant plainly. He was honest, and not just when it was convenient, or cruel. He was brutally honest, but also affirmingly honest, boringly honest, and every other type of honest a person could be. Being friends with someone like that was just freeing, because it meant you could just say what you meant… about most things. Other things you kept to yourself, too afraid of his honesty to risk hearing it.
For one, Nanami was handsome. His features were striking, he wasn’t just pretty, there was something visually interesting about his high cheekbones and tired eyes. You didn’t even want to begin to think about his eyes, but it was too late. He’d taken off his glasses, something most sorcerers wore to keep cursed spirits from recognizing their gaze. When curses realized they could be seen they went on the offensive, something that could be annoying when you’re just trying to grocery shop and an insect of a curse tries to attach itself to you. All that to say, you didn’t often get to see his eyes like this, and once you started looking at them, that was really all you could look at. They were dark like the liquor in his glass and you could get lost in them.
“Have you had too much to drink already?” Nanami asked, an amused glint in those eyes of his.
“Hm? I’ve barely had anything,” you said sitting up a bit. You realized as you moved that your chin had been resting in the cup of your palm just looking at him. If you tried, you couldn’t have looked less like a lovesick dope, and you wished that you could blame that on the alcohol.
“I know, that’s why I’m disappointed in you.”
You gasped as if scandalized, “I’m not even drunk.”
He raised an eyebrow at you. It oozed with amused skepticism, “It’s alright, I suppose. We can’t all hold our liquor.”
“You’re so mean, Nanamin,” you pouted, but you only took up the expression to keep from smiling as you used the nickname that Gojo used for him. He immediately hit you with a deadpan glare. You knew there was no real venom behind the expression. It just made your face feel hotter. To keep from back tracking, you took your shot and washed it down with your mixed drink. It did very little to cut the bitterness of the alcohol but it kept your mouth occupied.
“Is that a new necklace?” Nanami asked out of nowhere. You touched the necklace reflexively and realized you were, in fact, wearing a new necklace.
“Oh yeah,” you pulled the pendant out of your shirt and fiddled with the locket, “it’s got the love of my life inside.”
“Well…” you trailed off, unable to suppress your grin. Instead of answering him, you just opened the locket. He leaned in closer to see the picture inside. He gave you another deadpan look as he noticed that there was a picture of pasta on either side of the locket.
You giggled at his expression, and eventually the sound of your laughter made him crack. He shook his head as he turned away from you in favor of looking ahead at all of the bottles lined up behind the bar. He was smiling in spite of himself.
“Of course, I should have known.”
You closed the locket and tucked it back into your shirt, “I got sick of people asking me who was inside the locket. It was just cute. I don’t have anyone to put in it.”
“So obviously you put what you loved most inside,” he said as if what you did was completely logical. He chuckled again thinking about it a bit more.
“Well, when I find someone I like more than pasta, then maybe I’ll change it.” You put your elbow back on the bar so that you could rest your chin in your hand as you drank some more. Before long you hit the point in drinking when you couldn’t stop giggling. The two of you were watching two guys who looked like they snorted creatine for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, argue over beer. Nanami leaned over to murmur to you that both guys were incorrect about what the best beer was and his uppity assessment of their drinking habits really sent you over the edge. It wasn’t funny because they were wrong about the beer. You couldn’t care less about that, it was the fact that of all the inane knowledge for Nanami to know, he had an excessive knowledge of craft beers. You had to put your head down. You rested your forehead against your hands as they laid on top of each other on the bar.
When you looked back up, you noticed his little self satisfied expression. In order to keep from staring at him, you took another shot. As was your ritual, until you were absolutely flush with alcohol, and telling Nanami in great detail, why his attempts at sourdough were always bad.
“It’s all about the starter. How old is your starter, man? It’s gotta be nice and mature. Your starter should have a 401k before you even think about making bread with it,” you teased.
He nodded indulgently. He absently began to loosen his tie, hooking his finger behind the knot and tugging. Whatever you were saying, it trailed off, watching the tendons in his hands move under the skin. As he tugged at the tie, he let his head tip back just a bit, allowing a more generous view of the pale skin of his throat. Your eyes trailed up to his jawline, and you could just imagine pressing your lips against his pulse point, hearing him sigh.
“… Well, don’t stop now, tell me more about my sourdough starter’s retirement affairs-… Are you alright?” he asked.
You blinked and swallowed your spit before you could actually start drooling, “Uh, whew… damn is it hot in here? Are you hot? I mean you are hot, uh no- wait-” you stopped talking entirely clasping your hand over your mouth. You caught a glimpse of Nanami’s wide eye stare before you turned to stare straight ahead. You really just said that to him. The flush on his face wasn’t just from alcohol, the man was mortified. What could you do to save yourself from embarrassment but to pick up your drink?
As you did you felt a warm hand touch your own, “I think you’ve had enough to drink,” he said gently, leaving you to stare at his hand as he took your glass.
“Right, okay,” you agreed, because drinking is how you got into this predicament in the first place.
“But… thanks,” he said and you looked up to watch him drink the rest of your alcohol. There was a small smile on his lips as he tipped the glass back. Not long after, Nanami cleared out the tab and stood up. You tried to do the same, but the moment you stood up the alcohol hit you and you stumbled. Nanami immediately put his arm out for you. Without an ounce of grace, you grabbed his bicep, tipping forward until your cheek hit the firm muscle in his arm.
“Are you okay?”
“Mmhm, just lost my balance there,” you giggled to offset your embarrassment. You were really making an ass of yourself tonight. Then again, you did get to hold Nanami’s arm all the way outside and he must have ordered a car already because there was one waiting for the two of you when you got outside.
He rode with you to your apartment and helped you in. You wound up having to use your spare key because you couldn’t find your keys in your purse. Nanami scolded you about keeping a spare outside of your apartment like that but you kindly reminded him that you were a sorcerer too.
“Look here, Mr. Man. I’m a first grade sorcerer just like you. Any threat that needs a key, isn’t a threat at all.”
“Of course. I’m not diminishing your strength-”
“I think you are,” you poked him in the chest as you walked into your apartment, and almost immediately tripped over the short step of your entryway, where you usually took off your shoes, into your apartment. Once again, Nanami caught you.
“Well, Ms. Independent Woman, this is the second time you’ve almost fallen.”
“Yeah, the floor’s got it out for me.Traitor,” you pouted as you held on to Nanami’s arm to take off your shoes… only to promptly trip over them.
“Alright,” he sighed, but the sentiment of exasperation ended with a breathy chuckle, “You’ll have to forgive me for this.”
“Wha- Ah!” you yelped as he suddenly swooped you up into his arms, “Hey, how are you so coordinated? You had more to drink than me.”
“I’m not a lightweight.” He said easily as he continued in, down the hall towards your bedroom. You told him what door it was. At least your room was clean for once. He set you on your feet inside, but kept his arms out just in case you suddenly fell over.
“I think I got it.”
“Mmhm. I’ll lock up for you, and come back tomorrow with your spare.”
“Bring breakfast.”
“Fine, I’ll bring breakfast too.”
You happily crawled into bed. You didn’t bother taking anything off, instead you just let your face hit the pillow. The alcohol in your system kinda made you feel like you were still moving in spite of the fact that you were perfectly still. It was a nauseating sensation, but before you could really start feeling bad, you fell asleep.
When you woke up in the morning it felt like all of the moisture in your body had been sucked out. The backs of your eyes hurt and even the small amount of light that got through your curtains was too much. You sat up with a groan, squinting your eyes at the room around you. There was a glass of water and pain meds on your bedside table. You grabbed the glass and started chugging. Then you realized that you most definitely did not have wherewithal to make yourself a glass of water. So who… you remembered all at once that Nanami had helped you into your apartment, and probably left the glass of water and medicine for you. While one part of you burned with mortification another was a little flustered that he’d been thoughtful enough to leave you with something to help your hangover. You took the pain meds then got up so you could shower. You felt disgusting. It was a quick shower considering how disorienting your hangover was. However, you were in there long enough to replay all of the stupid things you said the night before. By the time you got out of the shower, moisturized and put on some pajamas you were itching to eat something greasy and lay back down. Instead, you changed your sheets because you knew you would appreciate laying on fresh linen. You couldn’t be bothered to start the washer so you just tossed the dirty linen into your laundry basket before putting on a new fitted sheet, grabbing a comforter and crawling back in bed.
It felt like you closed your eyes for three seconds before you heard your doorbell ring. You were slow to get up. The headache was gone but you still felt groggy. You trudged heavily to the front door and peeked out of the peephole.
Nanami stood there in a black t-shirt of all things. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him in anything but a button up. You opened the door curiously.
“Hey, Nanami… is everything okay?”
“I’m fine, I have your spare, and breakfast. After all those sugary drinks, I’m sure you’re hungover.”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.” You rubbed your eyes as you let him in. You were sure you looked haggard but after the ass you made of yourself last night you figured you’d ruined any chance you might have had with Nanami anyway. Besides, he’d seen you tear through a curse with your bare hands. Seeing you in your current state was nothing in comparison.
You noticed him set a bag down on the table, “Here’s breakfast. Gojo told me your favorite.”
“Aw, you talked to Gojo for me.”
“It was the least I could do after you paid me such a generous compliment last night.”
Your face was on fire. You covered it in mortification, “You didn’t tell him about that did you?”
“No I didn’t.”
“What do I have to do to be sure we never breathe a word of last night to anyone.”
“Have dinner with me some time,” he shrugged as if he didn’t ask what he just asked.
You blinked, absolutely dumbfounded, “Huh?”
“Or, give me your sourdough starter.” Again, he spoke as if it was all so simple. Go to dinner with him or handover the sourdough starter. Where the hell did he get his confidence from? Though, you supposed you’d kind of already showed him your hand by calling him hot last night. What did he have to lose.
“I don’t care how hot you are. You’re never getting my sourdough starter.”
“Then dinner it is,” he gave you a small amused smile that you couldn’t help returning in full. Maybe last night was worth the hangover after all.
“Dada!” Celine yelled as she held onto the coffee table to keep herself standing. Her long curly hair was held out of her face with a little bow, per usual. it was more of a functional thing than an aesthetic choice.
Gojo walked into the room and froze. “What? Did you just say dada?”
She grinned before pointing at him, “DADA!” she said louder.
“Yes! That’s me!” He laughed hurrying forward to swoop her up in his arms, “Say it again, little squishy!”
She was too busy laughing as Gojo held her above his head. He brought her down to kiss her chubby cheeks. Gojo had been waiting for her to say his name. She said “mama” first. You tried to assure him that the only reason she said mama first was because you were across the room and not paying attention. She wanted your attention and she got it the very moment she said “mama”. Gojo was always lavishing her with attention, so she had no need to call for him, but you were confident she knew who “dada” was. Whenever you referred to him, she looked in his direction. Still that did nothing to assuage his pouting every time she called for you and she hadn’t yet said “Dada”
You smiled at how elated he was to hear her speak to him, as if she wasn’t alwaysspeaking to him. He hugged her close and you noticed that he was tearing up a bit. He was coming in from a late day meeting and you had no idea what the day was like, but he definitely seemed to appreciate coming home to Celine.
“You’re both so cute,” you mused as you got up from the couch to go over to them.
“Thanks, she gets it from me,” he sniffed before using her bib to dry his eyes.
“That bib is covered in drool.”
“I found a dry corner.” He kissed her cheek again, and she grabbed his face with her dimpled hands and pressed her own version of a kiss to his cheek. He scrunched his nose at the open mouth kiss he received.
“Oh that’s lots of love for dada,” you laughed, looking at the drool she left on his face.
“I don’t even mind.” He sighed while wiping his cheek, “Oh Geto’s coming over. He wants to see Celine.”
“Why doesn’t Geto just go have a baby of his own and stop trying to hijack ours?”
Celine liked everyone in her little family, even Nanami who was less than thrilled about how messy small children were, but outside of you and Gojo, the only person she really fancied was Geto. You were pretty sure it was just his hair that she liked. She was always pulling at it, and when he put it up she cried. You weren’t sure why he always came back to see her when she just wanted to have her grubby little fingers in his hair, but he did.
When he came over about an hour later he had his hair half up and half down, and didn’t even say hello before he demanded to see Celine, “You’re both old news. I came to see the baby.”
Celine saw him from her playpen and threw down the toy in her hand to hold her arms up so that he would come get her.
“There she is!” Geto cheered, “Oh the most perfect baby in the world! Look at you!”
She started babbling to him as she always did, to literally everyone. You had a feeling the very moment she learned how to talk she was going to have so much to say. It probably didn’t help that everyone just nodded and agreed as if she were really sharing information. It was only encouraging her babbling.
“Yes, my dear, I’m sure you have your mother’s brains, you’re too charming to be like your father,” Geto tossed you a wink as he sat down on the sofa, “Hopefully you don’t have her taste in men though.”
“Hey!” Gojo complained, “Why do you always come over here and bad mouth me to my daughter?”
“I’m telling her the truth. Celine, you have to prove Freud wrong. Another man like your father is more trouble than he’s worth, and he won’t even be more wealthy.”
You nodded solemnly. It was true. She would not luck up and find another decent rich person with a personality like her father. Gojo was a real diamond in the rough. It was nice to just sit back and enjoy the chaos. Geto and Gojo bickered, while Celine listened to herself babble. You were on your laptop getting things ready for Celine’s first birthday party.
Gojo wanted to host this huge neighborhood party, but you didn’t see the point. Celine wouldn’t remember this birthday party anyway. It was more important to you that the people who were always around got to celebrate Celine turning one. The whole neighborhood didn’t even know her. It would make for better photos, and that’s how she would know that her first birthday party happened. Everything else was for the adults really.
Geto leaned over to look at what you were doing, “Oh, her 1st birthday party,” he gasped, “What are you planning?”
“Just a little house party with all of Celine’s biggest fans. Nothing too fancy.”
“I still think we should order the bouncy house,” Gojo grumbled.
Before you could object, Geto responded, “She can’t even stand without assistance. Why would you rent a bouncy house?”
“My thoughts exactly,” you said, “Satoru, I know you’re rich, but flagrant displays of wealth aren’t what make memories. It’s the people around you. If you have good group of people around you, then the memories make themselves. When she’s old enough I want her to look at the pictures we take of her and know that she was always surrounded by love. She has plenty of aunts and uncles that love her very much and that’s what a first birthday should be about.”
Gojo sighed, “You’re so sappy.”
“She’s right.”
“You’re my friend. You’re supposed to be on my side. You didn’t even like Y/N to start out.”
“Satoru!” Geto complained.
You shook your head, “Nah I kinda figured that much, but we’re good now right?”
“Absolutely, You gave me the most perfect niece in the world. Tell me if you’re considering giving me another one.”
“She’s not giving you anything!” Gojo complained loudly, which made Celine match his volume. You just shook your head.
“Don’t yell at your father,” Gojo gasped, and she yelled louder.
“Oh, she just cursed at you in baby language. I felt that,” Geto said.
Gojo’s jaw was on the floor. He liked to pretend that this wasn’t their whole routine. It’s what you were used to. If someone asked you two years ago, if you’d be happy in a house with a yelling infant and an equally loud man, you would have said that you’d rather die. But honestly, never having experienced a fatherly bond yourself, seeing Gojo and Celine together was healing something deep in your heart that you hadn’t known was broken. He genuinely loved his daughter, and if Gojo honestly asked you for another child… you would do it, because he loved you, because he loved Celine, and he’d already proven that he was more than willing to take care of you every step of the way, he treated it like it was his privilege.
On the day of Celine’s first birthday, everyone came to celebrate. Geto was there early to help you and Gojo decorate the house. Your mom came next with a heart shaped cake and simple yet beautiful design. She had come to see things your way, or at least wanted to see her granddaughter badly enough to bend to your will. You didn’t really care if the rest of your family knew Celine, they hardly knew you, and you wouldn’t expose her to their negativity if they insisted upon holding on to it. Two of your cousins who had babies that came to visit regularly and that was about it. One of them was able to make it to Celine’s birthday party. She had twins that sometimes you and Gojo kept just to give her a break. Her relationship with the father of her children was not so smooth. Which hurt your heart, because she had been quite a bit like you. Babies weren’t planned, but she was doing her best. You noticed when she walked away that Geto did a hard double take.
You bumped Gojo with your hip and nodded in Geto’s direction so he could see the way his best friend was looking at your cousin. It was as if she was an angel from heaven gracing his gaze for the first time.
“I’m gonna do introductions,” Gojo said as he passed Celine to you. Celine babled your name before showing you the stuffed animal she had in a death grip.
“That’s Winnie the Pooh. Can you say Pooh? Or Winnie?”
“Mama.”
“Close enough, squishy.”
Nanami and Janelle were next, and you were not surprised by the fact that they did not come early. Janelle was in her first trimester, and you remembered the sickness and fatigue that came with that sort of thing. They hadn’t made a formal announcement yet, but you were with Janelle when she did her pregnancy test. Nanami had been subjecting himself to Celine to prepare himself to be a new father. You had a feeling that his offspring might be a little calmer. Nevertheless when Celine heard them she whipped around to look for them before waving her chubby little hand at them.
“Happy birthday, Celine!” Janelle cooed at her and Celine grinned before opening her arms to Janelle. She liked to hug her favorite people and that meant she would rest her head right in the crook of their neck. It won everyone over. When she felt like she had charmed Janelle enough she reached for Nanami. He took her easily and received her hug. She babbled to him while pointing at his watch.
“She has an eye for expensive things, Kento. Be sure she doesn’t swipe your watch.”
“I see, we’ll have to get you one of your own.”
“Kento,” Janelle laughed, “time means nothing to a baby.”
“Ah youth,” he breathed, hugging her close.
She was content to stay with him until he ventured closer to Geto who was chatting up your cousin. Your cousin was looking at him dubiously, which told you she was most definitely giving him a hard time. You managed to catch her eye and mouthed, “He’s nice and he’s got money,” you rubbed your fingers together for the universal hand symbol that someone was rich. Her eyebrows raised just a bit before she just became more suspicious. Good grief that girl reminded you of yourself.
There were plenty of laughs all around that night. Gojo helped Celine blow out her candle and you were happy to be on camera duty. You recorded the whole thing. When everyone started clapping and cheering for her she smiled widely before hiding her face in her father’s neck. There were plenty of beautiful pictures that day, and you sat the day after the party printing them all out to put in her memory book. She’d received a gold nameplate bracelet from her father and she absolutely loved wearing it. The way the shiny gold caught the light had her mesmerized for the better part of an hour. Janelle had more adorable outfits for her, and Nanami had more bedtime worthy books. Geto came through with a new loud and obnoxious toy for her to terrorize you and Gojo with, and your cousin crocheted her a sweet little hat with bear ears, and matching paw mittens. It was perfect for the coming colder seasons.
In November, two days before your usual Friendsgiving party, Gojo took you out for a date. The two of you entrusted Geto with Celine for the first time ever, because Janelle and Kento were dealing with first trimester blues, and your mother was busy. You weren’t too nervous about it or at least you tried not to be. It was just dinner, you’d be back with Celine in no time. You noticed, with a small smile, that both you and Gojo had your phones on the table with the screens up, just in case Geto called one of you. It was a beautiful dinner, with all of your favorites.
“Your cousin’s gonna be over there, you know?” Gojo said in between bites of his steak.
“How do you know?”
“Geto was wearing cologne when we dropped Celine off, and his hair was extra shiny. Plus he was wearing the black t-shirt that shows off his chest and arms.”
“How do you know it’s my cousin though? He could have any woman over-”
“She’s the only woman he’s talking to right now. Geto gets ridiculously serious when he finds someone he’s interested in. He just knows immediately when they’re the one.”
“I guess love is in the air huh?” you breathed. You were more in the habit of just believing Gojo these days. He was right about a lot of stuff, plus life was just easier that way.
“Love is always in the air when I’m with you, bookworm.”
“Booo, that was corny. Get better material.”
“Tough crowd,” he murmured, “Dessert?”
“Sure, I can make room for dessert.”
“You know… we really took the long way around to get here. If I were smart, I would have moved more like Geto, and made you mine the moment I laid eyes on you.”
You smiled, “Why are you as an Asian man-”
“Don’t.” He said seriously.
“It feels a little anti-Black.”
“And why is that?”
“You don’t see how-”
“So you think I can’t see? Why wouldn’t I be able to see, huh? You’re the one with glasses. Sounds like you’re being kinda anti-Asian,” he threw back at you, and you both sat there smiling like idiots at each other.
“I love you,” you sighed.
“I love you more.”
“I highly doubt that. Because I am incredibly easy to love, I had to look past the genetic mutation that is your height in order to love you.”
“Oh is that right?” he asked, deeply amused by your insults.
“That’s right.”
Dessert came out and yours was in a tempered chocolate dome with a little wooden mallet to help crack it. You looked at Gojo’s dessert, and felt immediately envious of his cheese cake.
“Can I have some of yours?”
“You haven’t even tried your dessert.”
“I will, just let me have some of yours.”
He laughed at you, “No, open yours first.”
You sighed heavily and picked up the wooden mallet, “See this is how I know I love you more. You never want to share with me and I’m always sharing with you.” You kept complaining as you cracked the chocolate open. Only instead of a chocolate cake there was a square velvet box. You froze looking at the box.
“It only took me so long to propose because I was getting your ring made custom, with only the best materials.”
You looked up to see him getting up from his chair, you kept your eyes on him as he brushed the chocolate away to grab the box off of the plate. He got down on one knee beside you, and tears immediately sprung in your eyes.
“We… did everything out of order, but I don’t think that matters because the end result is the same. I love you, and I love the family we have together, and I’m so grateful to wake up to you every morning. I want to wake up to you and Celine every day for the rest of my life. And I want to tie myself to you in every way I can, because I never want to be alone again. I never want either of us to feel alone ever again, because we have each other. I could say it a million times and it still wouldn’t be enough, but I love you. I love you. I love you. Will you do me the honor of making me your husband, because it’s all I wanna be.”
“Yes, yes! Satoru,” you dove forward and wrapped your arms around him. The restaurant erupted in applause and you didn’t even realize that anyone was paying attention to your moment. He pulled back to kiss all over your face and then to kiss your lips, his mouth moving in the oh so familiar dance with yours. You wanted him forever, and you were going to get him. He put your ring on your finger and you marveled at the beautiful center stone. It looked like a star perched on your hand. It was the perfect size and you loved it enough to never want to take it off.
When you went to pick up Celine, sure enough your cousin was on his sofa, and they were sitting with all three of the kids watching a Disney movie. Celine was fast asleep in Geto’s arms. He gave Gojo a meaningful look when they walked in.
Gojo scoffed, “She said yes, of course.”
Your cousin gasped, “He proposed.” Her voice came out as a hiss, so as not to wake the babies. You showed off your ring with a triumphant smile.
You took Celine home and got her settled into her crib. You thought about how you would tell Janelle and Nanami, and also how you would give your mom the good news. It seemed like Friendsgiving might be a good time to tell them, given that it was only a couple of days away. However while you were walking out of the nursery you heard your phone ringing downstairs. You hurried down to get it. It was Janelle calling and you answered her immediately.
“BITCH! When did Gojo propose?! Why didn’t you tell me?! Oh my god that ring is huge!”
“Whoa, whoa, who told you?”
“It was on Gojo’s Twitter.”
You gave a heavy world weary sigh, “He literally just proposed an hour ago. When did he have time to tweet?”
“I’m sending you a screenshot.”
She sent you the post and you were staring at a candid shot that Gojo must have paid someone to take, of the two of you kissing right after you said yes. The tweet read: Like I said, fuck the streets, and fuck all of you in it, me and my baby are 4lifers!!!!
“He’s such a fucking idiot,” you said it, but there wasn’t even an ounce of venom in your tone.
You got married a year later. It would have been sooner, but life got in the way. For once you weren’t in a rush, you didn’t feel the need to run towards the next goal, and instead you were happy with your fiance and your daughter. At two, Celine was more like her father than ever before. They frequently wore matching outfits and your phone’s background was of the two of them wearing the same kind of shades. Sure she was in her terrible twos but Gojo made it funny. Even a temper tantrum could be soothed with Gojo right there just staring at her as she laid in the floor crying like the world was ending.
“You get these dramatics from your mother.”
“Ummm! Which one of us has recorded themselves crying in the shower?!” you called from the other room.
“… I don’t recall.”
“Oh yeah, I bet you don’t. Let me text Suguru to get the video and refresh your memory.”
Your wedding was a rather small affair. You got to curate a list of guests that you wanted to be there, inviting only family members that would view your union positively. Gojo was the steadfast strength behind your guest lists. He wasn’t at all afraid of upsetting your mother, or any extended family that was not invited.
“We have each other,” Gojo assured, “And we’ll always have each other. I don’t want anything that doesn’t make you happy too. I never envisioned a big wedding for myself anyway.”
With his help, your wedding was truly one of the happiest days of your life, second only to the birth of your daughter (who was in all of your wedding photos and there was no one in your life to shame you for that fact). Only people who loved and supported you were there and you said your vows to the biggest idiot in the world.
“I wrote my vows down, so that you could have them for reference later,” you began as you stood at the altar with him, “I will start this by saying, as your wife I’m willing to do 41% of the things Destiny’s Child said in Cater 2 U. I’ll tell you what that consists of in private, but if you know the song, you know that’s a big number for me. You truly have been my better half since the moment I told you I was pregnant, you’ve been there for me, and Celine, and you have been a stellar father, and an even better partner. No part of me wants to walk my path without you now. I want to be right by your side even when we’re old and gray… well when I turn gray and your white hair makes you look like Santa Claus. What I’m saying is… I’ll happily play Mrs Claus, when we’re both like 80 and we finally start aging,” you paused to laugh with the people around you, “My whole life I felt like I had to be perfect, I couldn’t make a single mistake or no one would ever find me worthy of love, but you took me as I was the moment and you loved me, despite all of many many flaws. I never could have planned for us… and yet you have made me the happiest I have ever been and no amount of time will ever be enough to repay you for all that you’ve done for me… but I guess we can start with forever.” You gave him a watery smile as you folded up your love letter and gave it to him. He took it graciously, before lifting his hand to wipe away your tears.
“I didn’t write my vows down. I kept trying to do it, but there will never be enough words for me to tell you what you are to me. I walked my whole life thinking I was complete in and of myself. I thought I would be content to party every day and, that if I surrounded myself with enough strangers, having three close friends would be enough family to feel like home. Then you came along, and you were having my baby. You gave me a perfect child and suddenly I didn’t need or want strangers to fill the void, I wanted a home with you. The friends I have and the beautiful life you’ve made for me are all I’ve ever wanted. So you’re wrong. You don’t owe me a thing. You’ve given me you. You’ve given me your love, and a baby, and so many days of happiness. And I’m grateful for it all. I’m grateful for the days when Celine is fussy and nothing in the world can satisfy her. I’m grateful for the days when you’re moody and we can’t seem to agree on anything. I’m grateful for the raging parties I miss out on, and the crazy nights I’ll never have again, because… I’m home now. And I never want to be anywhere else.” Tears were running down Gojo’s face, and you were no better than him as you cried over his kind words to you. To be fair, you’d have been hard pressed to find a single dry eye in the ceremony.
The officiator prompted the two of you to exchange rings. Celine gave you Gojo’s ring. She was in Janelle’s arms and was excited for her Very Important Job which had been to take the ring from Aunt Janelle and give it to you.
“Here, mommy!” she said excitedly.
“Thank you, baby,” you sniffed.
Gojo got your room from Geto who patted his shoulder reassuringly.
“Let this ring be a reminder of my promise to love and cherish you every day.” You said first as you put Gojo’s ring on his finger. He said the same to you as he slipped your wedding band on. All that was left was for him to kiss the bride. He pulled you in close immediately, and in front of all your friends, your mother, and your family, he kissed you like he might pull you into a separate room right after the ceremony to consummate your marriage.
“Oh good grief,” Nanami grumbled. Geto followed it up with a wolf whistle. You managed to get your wits about you and pull away. You hit his chest with a dopey grin plastered on your face.
“You are so ridiculous.”
“Yeah, but you married me,” He grinned and he truly looked so happy that you couldn’t even make fun of him.
For your honeymoon, you left Celine with your mom. The two of them were hanging out more now that Celine could express herself a bit easier, and you’d explained your way of parenting to your mother. Your biggest fail safe was if she felt the need to hit Celine, then she should immediately take her to Janelle and Kento’s. Celine had the vocabulary to tell you if she’d been hit and you’d let your mother know, in no uncertain terms, that she would never be permitted time alone with your child again if she laid hands on her. It was easy to speak your mind with your mother when it was on behalf of your child’s safety. The only reason Janelle and Kento weren’t at the top of the list, was the fact that they had an infant of their own to look after and you didn’t want to overwhelm them.
Gojo arranged for the two of you to go to Santorini, Greece. You got to spend your days lounging on beaches and actually behaving like the wife of a filthy rich business man. Gojo wasn’t overly fond of material luxuries in his day to day life, save a few flourishes of wealth here and there. If you didn’t know he was disgustingly rich you’d assume he was simply upper class. This honeymoon reminded you of exactly what you’d married into. The home you stayed in was down right gorgeous and it had the most breathtaking view of the beach. You immersed yourselves in the beautiful culture around you, indulged in a few spa days, and of course spent days in the bedroom being as loud as you wanted to.
By the time the two of you came back, you were both darkened by the sun and more than ready to go back to being full time parents. You came to pick up Celine and despite how often you called home for her, she was still over the moon to see you both. Of course, she saw her lighthouse of a father first.
“Daddy?!” she shrieked. She let out an ear splitting shriek of pure joy.
“Squishy!” he gasped, as if he were surprised to see her there. She wiggled down from the chair she was sitting in and hurried as best she could to get to him, all the while babbling in between a few coherent words. It seemed like she was telling him off for being gone so long. Her little feet slapped against the floor as she did her version of running to get to him.
“I’m sorry, squish,” He murmured as he hugged her close.
“You leave!” She yelled at him.
“But I came back! Mommy left too.”
That’s when she seemed to notice you standing right beside Gojo.
“Mommy!” she yelled, “Mommy! Down! Put me down, daddy! Want Mommy!” She spoke as if you might disappear if she didn’t get to you immediately. She pretty much leapt from his arms to your, because he wasn’t putting her down fast enough.
“Celine,” you gasped as you caught her, ‘You have to be careful. That’s like a 2-story fall, baby!”
Celine was too busy hugging you, tucking her head under your chin, “Miss you, mama.”
“Oh, mama missed you too. I missed you so much,” you kissed the top of your head before looking at your mom, “How were things?”
“She’s a little angel, a little bit of a diva but so were you at her age. I know how to deal with that. She remind me a lot of you when you were little. You might be on to something with the gentle parenting stuff. She didn’t give me no problems. We had a little disagreement over dessert before dinner, but we cleared it right up.”
You nodded, “Did you have fun with Granny, Celine?”
“Mmhm, mommy. Granny show me flowers.”
“Oh, did you help Granny garden.”
“Yes, and I had hat!”
“Very cool. Well, maybe you can come back and help Granny.” You gave your mother a small smile. It really seemed like things in your life were falling into place without you really needing to plan for it.
Celine and Gojo only became more alike as she got older and was more adept at expressing herself. She was a very bright child and she took great pride in her own intelligence as well as her own cuteness. Gojo was beyond excited for her first day of school. After all the books Nanami sent her way, she’d demanded to learn how to read the summer before kindergarten and you and Gojo weren’t going to stunt her ambition. You finally dug into the Roald Dahl books that Nanami gave you all when she was just a baby. Matildaand The BFG were her favorite stories. She wanted to be just like Matilda and read lots of books and of course the Big Friendly Giant reminded her of her father, something she told him often.
“Daddy, I can share my favorite stories at school!” she insisted as Gojo packed her book bag.
“You can bring one book, okay?”
“Two?”
“No just one, and then tomorrow you can bring a different book.”
“Please let me bring two,” she set her big blue eyes on him, using his own technique against him. Gojo immediately looked to you for back up. Celine had him wrapped around her finger, he knew he would fold if you didn’t back him up.
“Celine, we’re just going to take one book, okay?” you said, “So you don’t lose it. There will be more books at school, and you’ll need to have room to bring them home so you can show us.”
Her eyes got even bigger, “ More books?! Daddy! You have to leave room!”
“Alright, alright.”
Gojo was fine during open house the week before school started. You both talked to all of her teachers. Gojo charmed all of the women there without trying to, or even really meaning to. He was excited about this next chapter for Celine.
“And we’ll have the house all to ourselves,” he muttered before kissing you.
Though, when it was time to actually leave her he hesitated, still holding on tight to her. She was trying to get down to play with the other children, in fact she was trying extremely hard.
“Daddy! You have to let go!” she whined at him, trying to wiggle free.
Gojo sighed and squatted to set her on her feet. He straightened out her clothes as she stood in front of him, “Sorry, Celine. Daddy’s gonna miss you while you’re gone.”
“I’ll be back.”
“I know,” he said fixing the bow in her long curly hair, “but you just grew up so fast. What am I going to do all day without you.”
“You can play with mommy. She doesn’t have work.”
“Oh I’ll play with your mom alright,” he breathed and you kicked him. He chuckled before continuing, “Alright, you’re the most perfect girl in the world, never forget it.”
She grinned at him before throwing her arms around him, “Best daddy in the world.”
When he let her go this time, they did their “secret” handshake that ended with running their hand through their hair before finger gunning at one another. Then she ran over to give you a hug and a kiss before joining the other kids in the classroom, Gojo lingered in the doorway of the classroom for a little bit, and you had to take his hand and lead him away.
“Where did the time go?”
“Guess time really does fly when you’re having fun.” You said as you walked down the hallway with his hand in yours.
He squeezed your hand gently, “Let’s have another baby.”
“Absolutely not.”
He got baby number 2 by the time Celine was five. Your second pregnancy was far easier than your first and much less dramatic. Celine was angry at you for a couple of days for “Going to the baby store without her” but she got over it as Gojo regaled her with all of the great things about being a big sister. You used to paint Celine’s nails for her, something she wanted to do because your nails were always done, but since you were pregnant Gojo took over and it quickly became their thing. She painted his nails as well. Sometimes the job was messy but he never complained. He was happy to have matching nails with his daughter.
By the time you gave birth to your son Celine was all aboard the big sister train. You all moved her to a bigger room in the house, something she resisted at first, but once Gojo promised to paint her a new mural, one that she could help make, she was happy to give up the nursery. Your son was born on New Year’s Eve, funny enough. His eyes were dark like yours but he inherited the same skunk stripe as his sister. Elias was his sister’s pride and joy. She was always trying to include him in her tea parties, and her outside adventures. It took a while for him to be able to keep up, but when he was finally walking he was content to follow his big sister around and play her games. Elias inherited far more of your temperament. He could be a bit nervous, and he preferred that you all told him exactly what his day would consist of, but when it came to Celine she could throw off his entire schedule and he wouldn’t care. He played with Kento and Janelle’s son pretty often, and he found a favorite uncle of his own with Nanami. They were both calm people, he preferred to observe others having fun. While no one would confess to having a favorite, you knew that Nanami found it easier you spend long amounts of time with Elias than Celine. Celine required a lot of energy, and Elias just went with the flow of things… as long as you told him what to expect beforehand.
The only real rift in the house came when Celine turned thirteen. It was like a flip switched in her head and she realized that not only was she beautiful to herself and her parents she was beautiful to other people as well. Gojo was the only one bothered by his daughter’s new realization. You found the persistence of neighborhood boys amusing. She was always coming home with a gift from some boy another. You sat her down to have The Talk with her, and you realized something very important about your daughter.
“I think boys aren’t pretty enough,” she said with a nonchalant flip of her hair.
“Oh?”
“Mmhm. Boys are gross, and the only tolerable boys are family, because obviously they don’t want anything but to be my family. Every time a boy tries to touch me at school I feel a little disgusted.”
“And what about girls?”
She gave you a bright smile, “Oh I like girls very much.”
You gave a little chuckle, “You are your father’s child,” you chuckled, “Well, if you find that you only like girls that’s fine by me, kid. Do what feels natural, but take your time. You’re young, you should just be getting to know people. You have your whole adult life to figure out stuff with your body okay?”
“Yes, ma’am,” she chirped. That was that. You told Gojo that he probably had nothing to worry about with the neighborhood boys, but he could not be prevailed upon to listen to reason. After all, Celine still went on “dates” with boys. These “dates” were so benign that they might be better called hang outs, which is why you allowed them as long as they were chaperoned.
Gojo didn’t realize just how little he had to worry about until he was out with Shoko and Celine at the mall. Shoko had settled into her role as a childless aunt, and so she liked to spoil her nieces and nephews. Celine was sixteen and she looked every bit like a blasian Malibu Barbie. Gojo saw to it that she had the car to match waiting for her once she got her license.
“I hear you’re popular with the boys,” Shoko said, mostly to get under Gojo’s skin. It served him right to have a daughter that stressed him out the way he had stressed women out before he found you.
Celine just shrugged, “I just go on the dates to see how far they’ll go to please me. I don’t really like boys and when they try to hug me, I feel like throwing up.”
Shoko’s eyebrows shot up, “Have you considered that you might not like boys at all?”
“Yeah, mom said that it was okay if I just liked girls, but I figured I’d give the guys a fighting chance before I started stealing their girlfriends.”
“Oh god,” Shoko said, “It’s like looking at a girl version of you, Satoru.”
Gojo was smiling so wide it hurt his cheeks, “I’ve literally never been prouder in my life.”
“I think Elias was on to something when he said that girls were better than boys.”
Gojo was well aware that Elias was going to be something else once he got older. He was a kind boy with a quiet disposition, but he had inherited Gojo’s charm as well. Gojo was well aware that the only reason that it took him so long to find The One, was because of his personality flaws, and he’s need to be out in the world causing benign chaos. Elias was a cute curly headed boy with warm brown eyes and glasses. It was an off day if the neighborhood girls weren’t giggling at him and asking him to draw them. Elias was fine. Celine was the real menace.
Either way, you were grateful for your little family and all the fun you had with them. You were grateful for that random choice all those years ago that set you off into the most beautiful future that you never could have planned.
You got off work earlier than expected and you came home to an empty house. Gojo told you that he needed to go to the office, and since he was in charge of things it didn’t really matter that Celine was with him. He sent you a picture of him in the reflection of an elevator wall of him with Celine strapped to him, while he wore a full suit. It was devastatingly hot, as well as down right adorable. You were curious about what his coworkers would think of him showing up with a baby. Did they even know he had a daughter? Was this something he broadcasted?
You didn’t know but Gojo conducted a meeting with Celine strapped to his chest. It was a last minute thing so he didn’t feel bad in the slightest the Celine was there. It was common knowledge that he was on leave to be with his daughter. While he was talking she started cooing, obviously wanting to make sounds too since Gojo was. He rubbed her back softly.
“Excuse me, let me check in with my assistant.” He moved the fabric sling out of the way to look at her. She blinked up at him and gave him a smile as she took a deep breath and cooed again. She seemed happy so he continued, “I agree, she said that the marketing team has a communication problem. Micromanaging isn’t helping anyone and we were supposed to roll out new site content last month.” He picked back up seamlessly. All in all it was an easy day for him, but he was happy to be getting back to you.
When he came back, all of you were going to go to the grocery store. You needed to do some serious shopping and Gojo was tagging along just to be the muscle of the operation, and probably the wallet too. He insisted on paying for things while he was around, and considering he was eating here too, you did not feel the need to argue with him on that point… or really about anything he wanted to help with.
You got in the car with them once he came back. That way no one had to bother with taking the car seat out of the car and putting it back in. You noticed with a start that Gojo had gotten his hair cut. It was an undercut and the fade up to the longer hair at the top was truly beautiful.
“Oh shit, you got your haircut!”
“You like it.”
“I like it a lot.,” You admitted reaching out to put your hand on the back of his neck and then let your fingers slowly trail upward.
“You went into the office looking this good? What secretary are you seeing?”
“Don’t start with me. You know I only have eyes for you.”
You hummed a happy sound before letting your hand slide back to rest at the base of his neck.
“You know, I was thinking about getting Celine’s name tattooed soon.”
“Oh, where?”
“Right over my heart, because that’s where she belongs.”
“That’s cute.”
“You want some real estate too, mama.”
“No, you are not about to tattoo my name on your chest.”
“Oh? Where do you want to be?” he wagged his eyebrows.
You paused and thought about your name hugging the prominent line of his adonis belt and then shook your head, “No where. I’m good.”
“Neck tattoo?”
“Respectfully, the only thing that could make you look like a bigger slut, would be a neck tattoo.”
“So what I’m hearing is that I need one immediately.”
You rolled your eyes and turned your body in your seat so you could look at him easier, “Is that what you are still? Are you a slut?”
“Baby, I am driving, you can’t talk to me like that,” he said, licking his lips before grinning like a fool. You couldn’t help giggling at his response. Of course he wouldn’t be put off by you calling him a slut. The man was too damn ridiculous.
When you got out of the car you volunteered to wear the baby sling, mostly because you wanted to be close to Celine. After a full work day without her, all you ever wanted to do after work was be cuddled up with you. She peered at you curiously when you started putting her in the sling. Celine had a way of observing people and the world around her that honestly looked like she was a sponge soaking up information.
“I had an unfortunate conversation with my mother about the whole spoiling Celine thing. So safe to say that sending her over for granny time might be delayed a little.”
“What’s the problem?” Gojo asked.
“Tough love parenting. Her advice when Celine is fussy is to just walk away, let her cry herself out, and I’m not going to do that and frankly I don’t want that done to her. We got into it because she said that Celine’s gonna be a full teenager sleeping in the bed with me, because I coddle her too much. And then she basically said I’m ruining our baby.”
Gojo frowned, “You’re an awesome mother. I don’t think it’s bad that Celine looks to you for comfort, and if she’s fourteen and she still goes to you to comfort her then I think that means you’ve done your job right. I didn’t really confide in my parents about anything. They were utterly unapproachable and cold people. I refuse to be like that. I’m with you on this one. If she’s not going to be on the same page as us, then maybe she should just stick to supervised visits.”
“Thanks… I just didn’t want you to think that I was being mean to my mom by withholding access to Celine. I wouldn’t use her like that.”
Gojo shook his head, “I trust that you have your reasons for stuff like this, but I’m glad you told me.”
You held Gojo’s hand and he quickly steered the conversation to more lighthearted topics. Gojo was good at that and you appreciated it. He could spin lead into gold in a single conversation and honestly, it had made the first few months of parenthood bearable, and every day since fun. Hard things were easier when you had a good partner. You remembered, with a certain amount of embarrassment, that first week of having Celine home where anything could make you cry, and sometimes you would just be minding your business and all of a sudden you were crying. Gojo would dote on you as much as you’d let him, offering bowls of ice cream, hugs that were turned down more often than not, and the occasional awful joke to lift your spirits.
You were trying to decide on produce, a thing that Gojo found incredibly boring, so he went to go study the exotic fruits that were far more expensive than you thought they had any right to be. While you were choosing the perfect apples to go in a cobbler your light was eclipsed. You looked up to see a very tall, very buff man at your side. You took a step over, reflexively and he caught your gaze.
“Excuse me,” he murmured softly.
Celine made a little sound and you looked down to see her staring up at the man, her eyes seemed wider than normal.
“That’s a really cute baby. Can’t be yours though.”
“Well why not,” you frowned looking up at him.
“You don’t look like you’ve had a baby.”
“Oh, you’re flirting with me. Well I’m kinda off the market, so…” you trailed off, trying to think of a graceful way to bow out of this conversation. This man was handsome, but in a way that men who look like they could ruin your life and your credit are handsome. The only “flaw” on his face was a scar that dragged down the side of his mouth but even that just added to his rugged charm. He looked down at you with amused eyes.
“I don’t see a ring on that finger.”
“No but one could argue that a baby is a greater commitment than marriage.”
He shrugged, “People leave children all the time.”
“That’s not my personal experience.”
“Right because who would let you go,” he looked you up and down and you narrowed your eyes at him.
“Riiiight,” you nodded slowly, deciding to make your choice of apples faster. Of course, your friendly ass baby was looking right up at this man and babbling.
“She’s talkative. ”
“Yeah, she gets it from her father, who is around here somewhere.”
You plastered a kind smile on your face while you tied off the produce bag quicker. Handsome or not, you had your baby strapped to you and if this went bad she was in danger too. If this had happened before Celine you would have briskly told this guy you weren’t interested and moved on with your day. Now you were trying to covertly scan for Gojo’s stupid tall ass so he could bail you both out of this. You began to walk away with your bag of apples, fully ready to use it as a weapon if need be and then you saw Gojo just in time for him to wrap his arms around your shoulder. The shopping cart had far more junk food in it than there was before, but that wasn’t something you could focus on at the moment.
“Run into an old friend?” Gojo asked, though his voice was tense.
You looked up at him curiously to see he was glaring over your head at the man beside you.
“Uh… no. I actually don’t know this man.”
“Then we will be going,” Gojo pulled you away, keeping a hard glare on the man who was talking to you. You let him lead you away, grateful that the conversation was over. It was always a bit of a gamble rejected men, but you had your baby with you which made it more risky.
“You seemed to be really happy to see a man you never met,” Gojo grumbled.
“Don’t do that,” you said pointing at him in warning.
“It was just an observation.”
“I don’t like jealous men.”
“So you’re the only one who gets to be jealous.”
“You have no reason to be jealous, because I wasn’t interested, so you can get rid of your attitude now.”
“What if I like my attitude?”
“Then you can have it somewhere else. Because me and my sweetie pie are having good vibes only. Tell him, C!”
She chimed in with a shriek that turned into her blowing raspberries.
“Period!”
Gojo paused and then bent down to kiss Celine’s cheeks, “Alright, you make a compelling argument, squishy.”
“So, dinner, what are we having?”
Despite seemingly squashing the short interaction, it did not escape you that Gojo was quiet when you got home. He volunteered to keep Celine entertained while you cooked, and you could hear their twin laughter from the front room. In spite of that, you were happy, and if you had to sit and assure Gojo that you weren’t at all interested in the random muscle bound man at the grocery store, then you would, because he was worth the trouble. He was worth all the trouble you’d gone through to unlearn the need to be in control of everything all the time. He had been worth the trouble of learning how to forgive him for your wounded pride, and he was was worth a thousand more conversations about how grateful you were to him for how relatively easy things had been since you gave birth. Spending so much time with Gojo felt like having the star player of any sport on your team.
So at dinner you weren’t surprised when he started the conversation off ominously.
“I was to ask you something,” Gojo said.
“What’s up?”
“It’s about us,” he kept his eyes on his food, moving the green beans on his plate around.
“I kinda figured.”
“Are we… exclusive?”He met your gaze then, and you could see the trepidation in his gaze, but you couldn’t help but to smile at him. Satoru Gojo was asking you if the two of you were exclusive, like you didn’t have a meltdown when the two of you weren’t exclusive.
You nodded, “Yes,” you giggled, “Well I want to be. If we haven’t been so far, then I definitely want to be.”
His eyes lit up, “We have been, I just wanted to ask outright so we wouldn’t be confused.”
“I get it,” you nodded.
“So then I mean when people ask me who you are to me I can say you’re my girlfriend?”
“That’s okay with me.”
“And since I’m your boyfriend… I’m kind of entitled to being a little upset when my girlfriend is flirting with some other guy.”
You snorted, “Gojo, I’m gonna show you two smiles and I want you to tell me which one is genuine.” You smiled at him the way you wanted to, because he was adorable and he looked like a puppy just waiting to be scorned, “That’s number 1. And then the second one,” you gave him the tense smile you gave the man at the grocery store.”
“The first one was more genuine.”
“Right, because the second one is me trying to be sure a big muscular man doesn’t punt me and my baby for rejecting him, you dope. Men are scary.”
“So… you weren’t interested in him?”
“No! I was trying to figure out how the hell to get out of that without there being any trouble! I’d already told him I was off the market and he was still talking to me!”
“Damn right you’re off the market.” he grumbled.
You scrunched your nose, “When you say it, it sounds like you bought me… Why are you taking a black woman-”
“You are extremely annoying, you know that?”
You grinned at him, “Mmhm, it’s why I locked you in with a baby, so that I could show all of my flaws first and you’d still be stuck with me.”
“Ah,” he nodded, “This was all an elaborate trap and you’re the world’s greatest actress.”
“Of course, because the alternative is EXTREMELY embarrassing.” You thought of the last year or so and truly it made you want to crawl out of your skin in mortification. Hindsight was 20/20, so of course you saw now all the ways you could have prevented your heartbreak, and the things you could have done better.
“Please, I’m way more embarrassed. I’m never going to live down the way I reacted when you walked away from me. I think Shoko and Geto have screenshots.”
“Janelle too.”
“So you’ve seen it.”
“Some of it.”
“And you still agreed to date me?”
You shrugged, “I’m not the brightest. But the only difference between me and you is I put my phone away, so my meltdown was private. I was at home singing all of the break up hits.”
“Really?” He asked with wide eyes.
“Really.”
Back then, when it all fell apart, you’d realized far too late that you sorta loved Gojo. Maybe it was too soon to really tell, but you knew that you could have loved him. If nothing ever went wrong you could have easily fallen for him. The thought of your own suffering gave you pause. If things went wrong now, you knew it would hurt more. Second chances hurt more because theoretically a person has already shown you who they are. It would truly be your own fault if this went wrong, or so you thought.
As usual, Gojo helped you clean up after dinner until Celine started crying. He handled that and you took your time thinking about everything that had happened in a little more than a year. Back when you were younger you wanted to be married by 23 and have kids by 25. You were 26 now and sometimes you didn’t feel like a mom. You weren’t sure you were ready for marriage. You had a lot more growing to do before that, but you… you felt better about the future now, than you had a year ago. For the first time in a long time, despite not having a plan you still felt like there were good days in your future.
Gojo came back, but you were mostly done in the kitchen, “Well, squishy’s asleep again.”
“What was wrong?”
“Wet pamper. And of course she wanted to see her handsome father’s face.”
You snorted, “Oh of course.” You turned to see him leaning against the kitchen island, just looking at you. “What?”
“Nothing, you’re just really nice to look at.”
You rolled your eyes at him.
“You know, it’s good to see that you’ve loosened up a bit. You’ve actually learned a couple of things from me.”
“Uh huh,” you agreed skeptically.
“You could stand to loosen up a bit more, but I think that’s just your personality.”
“Well, one of us has to be the responsible parent.”
“I’m a responsible parent! I’m just also a person outside of being a parent, and you are too. Whether you like it or not, you were wild enough to sleep with me. So you know a good time when you see it.”
You smiled at his teasing, he didn’t know just how right he was, “You know I had just set my New Year’s resolution when you came into the kitchen at that party. My New Year’s resolution was to have fun.”
“That puts some perspective on things.”
You hummed, as you shut down the kitchen. You turned off the overhead light but turned on the kitchen light. The kitchen was dark and the street lights outside filtered in through the kitchen window. Their orange light fell upon Gojo’s face, making his eyes sparkle like gems. He was beautiful as always.
“I’m sorry, for getting weird on you at the grocery store,” he murmured.
You just smiled, “Water under the bridge, Satoru.”
“I’ve missed you. I missed what we were to each other before everything.”
“You miss the sex,” you clarified with a little laugh. To be fair you were starting to miss the sex too. It wasn’t a dig at Gojo personality, and yet he pushed off the island, easily getting into your space. His hands came to cradle your face oh so gently.
“No… well yes, but I miss being close to you. And I miss how you were when you weren’t afraid of me hurting you again.”
You both looked at each other, his eyes that shone like starlight seemed to be carefully picking you apart and you wondered what he saw in you. You wondered why he stuck around, it had to be more than just the baby. It was always more than just the baby. He was close, and you were leaning against the sink with his body pressed against yours.
“This is how we started, huh?” he smiled suddenly, “In a kitchen, with you pressed against the sink.”
You laughed, “Yeah, I guess it is.” But the two of you had never been less like the people you were back then.
“Can I kiss you?” Gojo asked.
“I’m your girlfriend, right?”
“Yeah,” his answering smile was radiant. When his lips touched yours, and he held your face so gently in his hands. His mouth moved with yours in patterns you were all too accustomed to and yet you wanted more. You held his wrists wanting to keep him close to you. He pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours.
“You know I love you, right? This is it for me. I’ve never wanted anyone or anything more than I want this, us, together for the rest of my life. And I never want to leave. This isn’t just puppy love I’m in love with you.”
Your heart felt like it was in your throat as he said this to you. It was so like everything else in your relationship with Gojo. Things were all out of order, they moved too fast and too slow. He’d only just confirmed that the two of you together, and now he was confessing his love to you. It only made sense because you two were so… unplanned, out of sorts, completely flying by the seat of your pants. It made sense that he loved you though. It had been more than a year together for better or for worse.
You thought of everything. Instead of zooming into the tiny details you looked at the big picture. He’d taken care of you throughout your pregnancy and asked for nothing in return. He’d held you while you gave birth, and been there for the worst parts of having a newborn and he’d done it all without complaint. And you’d needed him. You’d leaned on him so heavily. When he wasn’t available to you it ached in your chest, like something was pulling at your heart, trying to tear it in half.
“I know,” you breathe, because you were not sure if you loved him the way he loved you, because he loved you so intensely, “I can tell, I feel it. I don’t know what to call the way I feel about you, but I want us, I want us to be together and I don’t want us to ever be apart again. I hated it. I hated it when we were apart-”
Gojo cut off your hurried words with another kiss, this time picking you up and setting you on the counter, so he wouldn’t have to bend so much. He was pulling you in closer to him, as if he wanted to pull the two of you so close you’d eventually become one. You were truly new better, holding the collar of his shirt to keep him right against your lips, feeling that damned tongue ring against your tongue, a not so subtle reminder of the things his tongue could do to you given the chance.
You pulled away, “Dammit, Satoru. We’re moving too fast. We shouldn’t do this.”
“Why?” he posed, “There’s no such thing as too fast, just what you want. Don’t you want me? Don’t you want me to make you feel good?” His kisses trailed down your neck and you immediately gave him the space to continue to kiss you like that.
He continued, “You don’t have work tomorrow, you can let me take care of you like this. Let me do this.” His hands were on your thighs, rubbing and squeezing the soft flesh there, “Let me take care of you, please.”
“Yes,” you breathed, sliding your fingers to his hair to keep his mouth against your neck. He doesn’t seem interested in moving, instead he’s unbuttoning your pants, tugging at them to make room for his hand. There wasn’t quite enough space, so you heard threads snapping as he pushed right into your underwear, fingers pressed tightly against your sex.
“Wet already?” he asked in your ear, “How long have you been wanting me, mama? You know you could have just asked.”
You almost rolled your eyes, “Shut up.”
He nipped your ear lobe as he managed to get one of his fingers inside of you. You wrapped an arm around his neck. Your other hand was still gripping his shirt as he curled that finger inside of you. Your jaw dropped as he found your spot without much floundering at all.
“That’s it,” he breathed in your ear, voice deeper than normal, pulled down by the weight of his lust, “Been wanting you like this again for so long, baby.”
“Saturo,” you whined. You felt more sensitive than you had been before, his palm rubbed against your clit as he simply curled his finger inside of you instead of trying to thrust inside of you with so little space.
“Just give me one,” he kissed you, “Give me one and I’ll take you upstairs.”
You could only moan, and he paused for just a moment to add another finger. The added finger stretched you a bit. He pressed his lips against your again, and you quickly lost yourself to the relentless pressure against your g-spot, and the feeling of his mouth working on yours. You could barely think past the pleasure. You felt yourself climbing embarrassingly fast. You come with his name on your lips, and the sound of his fingers still moving inside of you was down right obscene.
When he pulled his fingers out of you he immediately brought them up to his mouth to lick them clean. You were trying to get your heart under control, but recovery did not come as quickly as your orgasm. The next thing you knew, you were in Gojo’s arms, your legs wrapped around his waist. The quick movement made you yelp in surprise. Gojo laughed at your startled sound.
“Shut up, big horny giant. Give me some warning before you put me eleven feet in the air.”
He climbed the stairs and walked quickly to your bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He set you on the bed gently, but was immediately trying to get your clothes off. You aided him, wanting to feel his mouth against more of you. He did not disappoint. As he tossed your shirt somewhere else, he kissed your chest, while he unclasped your bra. When that was gone, he was cupping your breasts, pushing them close together before settling his face between them. You let out a breathy laugh.
“I missed these,” he said, though his voice was muffled.
“Careful, I’m uh… kinda full,” you said, feeling your cheeks heat up as you admitted that. He lifted his head to meet your gaze before he opened his mouth, stuck out your tongue and traced your nipple with the end of his tongue.
“Satoru,” you breathed his name all for him to suck your nipple into his mouth. You moaned, carding your fingers through his hair before pressing him more firmly to your chest. He pulled away with a sharp pop and you watched, slack jawed, as he licked milk from his lips, and then off your breast.
“You taste good, mama,” he murmured, dipping down kiss between your breasts, down to your stomach.
He groaned as he got to your stomach. The skin was softer than before. He nipped the soft, giving flesh on his trip down. Your body was so different from the last time he’d made love to it, and he wanted to get acquainted with every bit of it. He pulled back to take off your pants. He cursed, looking down at your soft body, right now your belly was fucking with his head. You’d given him a baby. That’s why your body was different, and maybe if it was anyone else, he’d make you beg for him after making him wait for you so long. But you? You’d never beg him for a damn thing. You’d already given him so much. He was yours. The moment your pants were off his mouth was on you again, kissing from your stomach down to your sex.
You gasped, at the feeling of his tongue tracing the seam of your lips. Your hand flew down the be in his hair again. He pulled you down to the edge of the bed, so that he could kneel and eat you out comfortably. He planned to be down there for a while.
One hand was buried in Gojo’s hair, keeping his mouth pressed against your sex, the other you were biting to keep from being too loud. He was sucking your clit, pressing the ball of his tongue piercing right against it. The movement of his tongue along with the way he was sucking you, was rapidly making you lose your mind. Just when you thought it couldn’t get more maddening he was putting two fingers inside of you again, teasing your g-spot. You gasped, sitting up to look at him. He had no interest at all in looking at you, busy trying to steal your soul with his fucking mouth. He did something with his tongue that made your eyes nearly cross.
“Shit, Satoru,” you hissed at him, hand turning into a fist in his hair. If he heard you, he didn’t care, and chose to add a third finger. He was working you open, getting you ready to take him. You heard that post partum sex would be painful, you should have known it was going to be nothing but pure pleasure.
He kept at it, listening to the sweet song of your moans, and the way they rose in pitch and frequency as he kept working your body. He loved the way you pulled his hair and the way your thighs kept closing around his head. He felt like he was drowning in you. It almost pained him to pull one of your thighs away from his head, but he wanted to make you cum harder than you had before.
He got his wish.
It felt like the first drop on a roller coaster, your stomach was up in your throat, and every muscle in your body tensed as you gasped. You fell back, pressing your head against the mattress as your back arched. It was impossible to breathe as he kept sucking your clit and thrusting his fingers in and out of you. Your mouth was open in a silent scream as your pleasure shook through you and he wasn’t stopping.
You cursed, breathlessly, trying to shy away from his mouth as the pleasure became too much, “Satoru, Sa- ah! Fuck! Please.”
When he finally pulled away you relaxed against the bed, trying to get your wits about you. You could hear him lewdly sucking his fingers clean. When you dared to look at him he was unbuttoning his shirt. The dark gray dress shirt was already mostly open revealing a torso that was softer than the first time you had him like this. Months of spending more time with the baby than in the gym had softened him, blurred the hard cut lines of muscle to something softer, something more like art. You were going to lose your fucking mind. Even the sharp cut of his Adonis belt that had once been a dramatic cut of muscle was far more graceful, as if it were simply spilling into his groin. You wanted to bite it. You wanted to eat him up body and soul.
“Please stop looking at me like that. It has been too long and I swear I could cum without you touching me at all.”
“How long has it been, pretty boy?” you breathed, slowly getting up to your elbows.
“Too long. All I wanted was you. I haven’t been with anyone but you.”
He’d been wanting this since the two of you split, meaning his dry spell was just as long as yours. You sat up until you were standing on your knees right in front of him. You pressed your palms against his stomach, and then rubbed upward towards his chest, over his shoulders, making his shirt fall down his arms and on to the floor.
“Why do you let me take care of you then, huh?” You said as you peered up at him. Even with the leverage of the bed he was taller than you, peering down at you like you were something more than just a very flawed human woman. It was embarrassing, just as it was flattering. You started undoing his belt for something else to focus on, instead of the intensity of his gaze. When you were done you pulled him into bed with you, playfully shoving him down at the head of the bed so that you could straddle him. There were a million funny little quips you could make about how hard he was for you. His cock was just as flushed as his face, and already leaking precum. If you thought he could handle it you would take him in your mouth and tease him with your tongue, but your touch alone made his whole body shudder. You still teased him just a bit, watching his face as your dragged your sex along the length of him.
“Please,” he breathed softly, “I wanna be inside.”
“I know,” you muttered, lifting forward to press your lips to his. You pulled away only to guide him to your entrance as you lifted up. You’d planted a hand on his chest for stability. It was still something of a surprise to you that you ever let Gojo near you with a cock like that, but you did, and you were eager to ride him, to feel him so deep you could barely think.
“Careful,” he murmured to you as you got the head in. You gave him an exasperated look before letting gravity do the work of taking you all the way down the length of him. His answering moan was down right delicious, but you had to put a hand over his mouth.
“For once in your life, shut up,” you sighed, “If you wake the baby, I’m leaving you like this.”
His hands flexed where they held your hips, and he nodded at you. The moment you moved your hand he let out a heavy exhale.
“Fuck, you’re so hot.”
“I know,” you grinned, trying to subtly get your wits about you with him so deep it felt like he was touching your lungs. The last thing you wanted to do was tip him off to the fact that he was right and your probably should have been a little more careful. Either way, you slowly started riding him, bouncing in his lap as best you could given the angle. You wouldn’t need to do this long just from the look on his face. That didn’t matter to you, you liked the closeness, you liked the choked moans, and groans that he muffled in his own hand. You liked the way he touched you as if he was just as hungry to feel your body as you were his.
“Fuck, you’re perfect. You’re so perfect,” he said in a hushed voice. He bit his lip and you watched his eyebrows furrow as he began to lift you up and pull you back down with the hands on your hips. The ruddy blush on his face was down to his chest now, and it was utterly enchanting. You’d like to have him like this always, no one else could make him look like this, or see this side of him anymore.
“Mine,” you murmured, more to yourself than to him, but he definitely heard you because he nodded.
“All yours, fuck say it again.”
“Mine,” you repeated as you rode him harder, taking over again. You didn’t care that your thighs were burning and you were definitely going to feel this in the morning. You wanted him to cum, and you wanted him to do it with your name on his lips. He cursed again in surprise, gripping your hips tighter. It wasn’t long before he was begging you to slow down.
“I’m gonna cum if you-”
“Yeah, genius. That’s the point. Cum,” you said between clenched teeth. He gasped and you leaned forward to cover his mouth with yours, kissing him in a way that probably would have been gross if either of you were of the mind to think too hard about it. He moaned as you kissed, lifting his hips up to fuck your through his own orgasm, until it was you much and then you did it, making him pressed the pads of his fingers into your hips and ass.
His whimpering moans buzzed in the back of your brain in such a beautiful way. You couldn’t help the smile on your face as he pumped you full of his cum.
“Off,” he said abruptly, pushing you off of him. You fell to his side with a breathy giggle.
“You,” he breathed, “are a problem.”
“Rethinking your choice to be all mine?” you asked as you rubbed his stomach.
“No, give me a few minutes and I’m gonna fuck you so good, you won’t remember your name.”
“I’m holding you to that.”
He pulled you in and kissed you all over your face, and you closed your eyes grinning at the barrage of kisses all over your face and down to your neck. You wrapped your arms around him as he held you close. It didn’t take long for the silly chaste kisses to become more serious. Before long he had your leg hitched up on his hip. You kissed until the two of you were far too desperate for one another to continue on. He took you from behind, slow and deep, while you buried your face in the pillow. He was kissing your neck and murmuring a litany of dirty things.
“I’m gonna fill you up, baby, get you so full of me. Fuck, anything you want it’s already yours.”
“Satoru!”
“Sh, sh, don’t get loud. I’m not done with you.”
You woke up in the morning and it was late. You and Gojo were at it all night, every time you thought you were done the two of you would fall back into each other’s arms. The bed was empty now. Gojo was probably tending to Celine. Just the thought of that made you smile. You pressed your face into the pillow to contain yourself. You got out of bed then got in the shower. You came downstairs to hear cartoons playing on the T.V. downstairs. You could see that Gojo had a blanket over his head and wrapped around him. Celine let out a little shriek, which told you she was probably in his lap watching cartoons with him.
You pulled the blanket off his head and leaned over to kiss his cheek, “Good… afternoon?”
“Yeah, guess I really wore you out, huh?” he grinned as he turned to look at you. He puckered his lips and you kissed him again.
“Shut up.”
“It wasn’t too much for you to handle right?”
You grabbed his face in one of your hands, “I remember someone begging me to give him a break on the third round.”
“I don’t remember that at all,” Gojo answered ambivalently.
“You’re so full of shit.”
“And you’re so full of me. Think you’ll give me another baby.”
“Not a chance, lover boy. Since I’m breastfeeding I got a birth control implant.”
“You say that like you weren’t taking birth control when you got pregnant with Celine. My swimmers are strong.”
You took a deep breath, “I fucked up on taking my birth control. That’s why I got pregnant. Now there’s no room for human error. I’m not getting knocked up again. Labor was awful.”
“Best mistake you ever made,” he grinned.
You thought about, looking from Gojo to the baby in his arms, “Yeah, I guess so. My happy little accident. I love you both so much.”
His eyes widened, “You’re saying it now. You didn’t say it before.”
“… I was… I was afraid of saying it too soon, but come on, Satoru, you had to know.”
He shook his head, “I really didn’t.”
You pulled in a deep breath, “I’m no good at this.” You went around the sofa to sit at his side, “I keep hurting your feelings. I do love you. I love you in a way that hardly makes sense to me right now, but I know that’s why I don’t want us to ever be apart.”
“I will move in right now, and we will never ever be apart.”
“I know,” you grinned, lifting your head so you can look up at him. He leaned over and kissed you once more.
It was the middle of April when your maternity leave was up. You cried the first day you were supposed to go back to work. Gojo teased you for it, but notably hugged you as you cried anyway. It hadn’t really hit you just how much you’d gotten accustomed to being with her. She was almost six months old and she had a real personality now. She wasn’t just your squishy baby that you held and coddled. She had her favorite toys, and when she saw you, she smiled and kicked her feet, excited to see you. It was hard leaving her for eight hours.
“We’ll be here when you get back, mama,” Gojo assured you. You were starting a new position. It was higher pay and fewer hours. It was everything that you wanted… before you had Celine. Now all you wanted was to be with her.
“Okay, you’re right. I can’t cry like this. It’ll stress her out.” you purposefully straightened your back, “I’ll be back at 2pm. Call me if you need anything. There are plenty of bottles in the fridge and formula if she runs out.”
“I know. Don’t make yourself late.”
You kissed her chubby cheeks again and she squealed a happy sound. She loved affection. As it was, she was a smiley baby, and the moment you kissed those chubby little cheeks she was kicking her feet and squealing in delight.
“I’ll miss you so much, my baby.”
The only way you made it through the day was with the pictures and videos that Satoru sent you. There were a couple of videos from her tummy time, and a few more of her with a little bonnet on her head. You were excited to see that she was beginning to look more like you. You shared the videos with your coworkers when the pharmacy was slow. Gojo and Celine seemed to be having fun at home alone.
“Oh, I wish my husband was like that with the kids. He always hates babysitting them.” One of your coworkers said.
You smiled for her benefit, “These two are thick as thieves. I’m a really lucky woman.” You said it out loud and then realized just how true those words were. You’d hear people talk about the drama their baby daddies put them through… and Gojo wasn’t like that. You didn’t have to beg him to spend time with his daughter. Getting time of your own with your daughter was the hard part.
You came home to hear loud laughter, both Celine’s and Gojo’s. They’re laughter sounded like different pitched versions of each other.
“Peek-a-boo!” he cooed and another round of laughter started up. The sound of her joy put a smile on your face immediately. You kicked off your shoes before continuing in to see Gojo throw a baby blanket over Celine’s face.
“Where’s dada’s baby? Where’d she go?” He asked in an animated voice before snatching away the blanket, “There she is!” And he earned another round of giggles. It was so sweet, too sweet really. You noticed then, that they were both dressed as if they’d been somewhere, or planned to go somewhere.
“You two sound like you’re having fun.”
Gojo looked up from Celine with a bright smile, “Look, Celine! It’s mama!” He picked her up so she could see you. She immediately let out an excited shriek and she kicked her little feet.
“Hi, sweetie! Did you miss me? I missed you so much,” You came over and held your arms out for her. She had a lot to say to you, and you responded in kind, as if she were telling you all about her day.
“Ooo, girl and then what?” you asked, “Mmhm, dada’s crazy.”
“Hey,” Gojo complained.
“She’s spilling all the tea on you, Satoru,” you teased.
He rolled his eyes, “Yeah did she tell you about how she threw up on my face this morning?”
“I told you about holding her above your head,” you chided, “besides, your face makes me feel the same way.”
“Liar. You made a baby with me.”
You shrugged, “I had my eyes closed most of the time.”
“Celine, your mother is a liar. Don’t be like her.”
You laughed, pulling her in to hug her, it take in that sweet sweet baby smell that you were accustomed to.
“I was going to invite you out with me and Cee tonight, but since my face offends you-”
You frowned, “Where are you going?”
“There’s a food truck thing at the park. Suguru told me about it. Allegedly, the best taco in the city comes from a food truck there.”
You thought about that night when you and Gojo were looking for the best taco in the city. It felt like a million years ago. You were still pretty early in pregnancy after all and now you had a whole baby. What a time that had been. If you knew then what you knew now… maybe you would have said something then. Maybe you would have asked him if that was a date or if he was just indulging you because you had a pregnancy craving. You could always ask now. You kept your eyes on Celine, fixing her bib absently.
“So is this just… time with Celine or time with me?”
“Well you’re both coming.”
“Right, but well I was just wondering if maybe this might be… no nevermind. This taco better be fantastic, Satoru, if I’m going right after work.”
“Hey, what were you going to say before?”
“Nothing, come on let’s go.”
He said your name firmly. His voice was rarely ever serious so you looked up at him begrudgingly, “It really bothers me when you won’t talk to me.”
You huffed, “I was just wondering if this was maybe a date. Just so I would know.”
His eyebrows shot up, “Would you go if I said it was a date?”
“Um… I think so. Yeah. It’s a casual thing right? I mean, I just think we’ve spent so much time together, and obviously we work well together, and we owe it to Celine to try again right?”
He was grinning so wide you thought he was going to hurt himself. What the hell did you just propose? Maybe this was stupid. Maybe you should just stick to how things have been… but when you thought about it, and you thought about it a lot, that night only happened because you pushed him away. You didn’t want to accept his help. Now you were way better at accepting help from Gojo, and everyone had been telling you that if Gojo wanted to be doing something else he would. If he’d wanted that woman back then he would have gone off into the sunset with her. He spent almost everyday with you and Celine and actively resisted doing anything else. It’s not like he was unfaithful before. In all honesty, if you told him that you wanted to be with him, maybe none of that would have happened at all.
“I want you to go because you want to. Not just because you think it would be good for Celine.”
You looked up at him, “I want to go out with you.”
“Okay.”
“But just because we have a baby doesn’t mean you can get fresh with me. I’m a lady.”
He laughed, “Yes, ma’am.”
“I mean it. I know your tricks now, Satoru.”
“My tricks?!” he exclaimed.
“Yes! I know how you like to use your eyes against me, and that damn tongue ring.”
“I won’t be using my tongue ring against you unless you ask me very nicely,” he stuck his tongue out at you and Celine shrieked. When you looked down at her she was sticking out her tongue too.
“I’m so sick of you teaching my baby your ways.”
Gojo grinned looking down at Celine, “Real hot girl shit, ah.” He stuck out his tongue.
“Ah!” she repeated.
“Oh my god,” you groaned.
The drive to the beach wasn’t terribly long, and it was accompanied by one of many playlists that Gojo seemed to know every word to. Celine did not know a single word, but she was determined to sing over the music. You should have known she was going to be a talkative baby. Just look at her father. And you were looking at him. The adorably overgrown look of his hair was atrocious. It was mostly the back making it look so bad. You reached out and ran your fingers through the back of his hair.
“Oh you really need a haircut, papa. It’s giving Joe Dirt.”
He gasped, “That is so rude!”
“It’s true. You can leave us for a little bit to go get a haircut.”
“I really don’t feel like it. I hate being away from you two.”
“Well, at least let me trim up the back a little. You’re still cute, but I don’t think a long mullet is what you were going for.”
“Would you cut it?”
“Mmhm, when we get home,” you said flippantly, then you felt your face heat up at how easily you’d referred to your home as his as well. He found a parking spot amidst all of the people around. He volunteered to wear the baby sling and carry Celine.
“You carried her for nine months, I can carry her for this.”
“Alright, I can help you put on the sling.”
“Can you reach?”
“You know what, fuck you,” you laughed, “You Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, bitch.”
He wheezed before laughing at your insult. You still helped be sure everything was secure before you both started walking towards the food trucks. Celine was happily babbling as she looked at the world around her. Your hand brushed against Gojo’s once as you walked and it felt like your heart went into your throat. You couldn’t understand why you were so jittery. You had a whole baby with this man! You’d had sex with him more than once. There was no reason for you to get bashful over him touching your hand. He’d touched a lot more. Then your hands brushed again, and you looked up at him, only to see him staring straight ahead. His cheeks seemed a bit flushed. You pushed up your glasses, something you did from nerves, not because your glasses really needed adjusting. Then you took the leap. You interlaced your fingers with his. He squeezed your hand gently and you looked up at him again to see his smile.
“You’re a big dope,” you grumbled, leaning into him momentarily.
“Just for you.”
“You’re so corny. I can’t believe we have a baby together. You’re actually embarrassing,” you laughed.
“You have no idea how embarrassing I actually am. But we’ve already got the baby. You might as well make an honest man out of me.”
“Saturo, first of all, that is not how that works. Secondly, this is our first official date, because we did everything backwards.”
“Who said things had to go in an order anyway?” he shrugged.
“If making an honest man out of you means I have to propose, I’m never doing that.”
He laughed, “That’s fine I wouldn’t let you. There’s really no need for you to ever be on your knees… well unless I’m sitting down.”
“Why would-” then your brain caught up to where you being on your knees for him while he was sitting would put you, “You’re a fucking perv.” You punched him in the side while he laughed.
“I’m only joking, mama. I’m just happy I got you to go out with me. I’ve been on my best behavior for a long time.”
You pulled in a deep breath, “I know… and I noticed. I just was,” you huffed loudly, “I was really hurt back then. And sometimes I still think about how badly that hurt and I’m scared, because it’s really not just about us anymore. It’s about Celine too. And I don’t want her to have parents who hate each other. I mean my mom hated my dad. And I know how it feels to feel like your mom’s mistake.”
“Your mom loves you.”
“I know. But if she had a time machine, she wouldn’t have had me.”
Gojo was quiet for a moment before he spoke, “If you had a time machine… would you change us?”
You took a deep breath, “If you’d asked me 6 months ago, yeah. But, I think if I had a time machine I’d go back to the day where we fought… and I think I wouldn’t have let you leave the house to begin with.”
“Well, we have that in common,” he said somberly.
“I’ve never… forgiven anyone for anything… ever. I’m not good at it. I usually just cut ‘em off and move on you know. I charge it to the game, but I couldn’t just cut you off, not when you wanted to be in Celine’s life. This was a definite lesson in forgiveness. I’ve never seen someone actually hurt behind hurting me. I thought that was just a thing people say.”
Gojo laughed, though the sound was slightly pained, “I don’t think I ever said that to you though. You know, that it hurts me to hurt you.”
You scrunched your nose, “It was kinda obvious. You used to give me these sad looks and really I just thought you were trying to get pity pussy. But I actually believe that you were miserable.”
“Iwas. And I have never in my life desired pity pussy. How dare you?” He laughed and the sound of it was infectious.
“I just didn’t really know what to do. But I don’t know, I guess I’ll give it another try. People deserve second chances, right?” you looked up at him.
When he met your gaze he could see just how vulnerable you were in this moment. He desperately wanted another chance, but he understood how you thought now. After six months of practically living with you he understood that you put more responsibility on yourself than you did anyone else. When he hurt you, you always said that you should have known better, not that he should have been better. It’s why you planned so much. You tried to foresee every possible way things could go wrong so you could fix it before it did.
“Some people do. I want a second chance. But that’s really up to you. It’s all up to you. I’ll be anything you want me to be.”
“I want you to want it too,” you said, and you squeezed his hand as you spoke.
“Trust me. I want you,” he said heavily.
You bit your lip before resting your head against his arm as the two of you walked, “Please, don’t make me regret this.”
He brought your hand up to his mouth and kissed it, “I never want you to regret us, because I don’t. And I never will.”
The two of you found the taco truck that Geto recommended and you both ordered before finding some place to sit and enjoy both the tacos and the weather.”
“Your tacos look really good, can I have a bite?”
Gojo rolled his eyes, “I thought you left this habit in your pregnancy.” Notably he brought the taco closer to you so you could take a bite.
“You always pick good food,” you said around your bite, “Trade me a taco.”
“I can literally buy you your own.”
“It’s not that deep. Come on, don’t you want to share with the mother of your child?”
“You’re insidious.” Again, despite his words he gave you a taco and you gave him one of yours. You noticed the way Celine was looking up at her father. Her head was tipped all the way back so she could stare at him with a little smile. He took notice of her after a while and looked down, tucking his chin so he could rub his nose against hers.
“Hi, beautiful. You’re too young for tacos,” he turned to you then, “What’s the verdict on the tacos, mama?”
You already had half of a taco in your mouth. Gojo’s answering grin was stunning. His cheeks pushed up against his eyes so much that it made them look closed. The best you could do was give him a thumbs up as you ate. He laughed at your state before pulling his phone out.
“Do not,” you put your hand out to block your face.
“This is just for me, mama,” he chuckled as he snapped a couple of pictures. You flipped him off in one of them.
He wanted to kiss you. He wanted to kiss you badly, and it was all he could think about. You were just so pretty to him. Even with salsa on your cheek, you were stunning. He’d literally die before he messed up this second chance with you.
“My mom is still raving about her Christmas gift from you,” you said. Christmas was special. Everyone was eager to buy things now that there was a little one in the family. Celine had more toys than she could possibly play with. Though her favorite toy right now was a rattle that Suguru got her. There were other things in his gift but she got a hold of that rattle and you hadn’t known peace since. You were quite sure that was indicative of the kind of gifts you could look forward to from Uncle Suguru. You and Gojo took turns reading poems from Where the Sidewalk Ends to her before bed. There were a bunch of bedtime worthy books in Nanami and Janelle’s gift to Celine. You were excited to read them all to her.
“She mentioned wanting a spa retreat,” Gojo shrugged.
His gift to you was more jewelry, this time it was a bracelet that you loved to bits, but it was too flashy to wear casually, but it matched the necklace he gave you for your baby shower.
“She hasn’t stopped talking about it, which is a welcome change from her usual topics.”
He hummed, “Your mom vents to you a lot.”
You took a deep breath, “Yeah. Which… I mean logically I get it. We only had each other, and I think my mom trauma bonded with me. She treated me more like a companion than her child. She was a single mother so the financials were hard for a while and she confided in me when I don’t think she should have. I don’t think kids should be aware of that kind of thing. It made me a planner… which I guess is a positive way to say it gave me severe anxiety. I don’t want to be like that with Celine. I don’t want to dump my problems on her, and I don’t want her to feel like she was the worst mistake I ever made, because she is not. I didn’t want to risk hating you, and then not having a single nice thing to say about you. Because she’s half you, and you can’t sit and listen to your mom bash your dad… and not think that she hates you a little bit too… Anyway, I digress, it was a good gift.”
“You don’t have to stop talking about that stuff. If you want to talk about things with your mom, I’ll listen. It was just something I noticed. I wonder if she knows what’s going on with you at all sometimes, because you say so little when you’re on the phone with her.”
You laughed, “With all the love in the world… my mom hasn’t had a clear idea of who I am for some time. And I don’t really think she ever will. It’s sad, but all I can do is just not be like that to Celine. I want to know who she is. I don’t want to tell her who she is. I feel like we’re supposed to guide her morally, and we get the opportunity to see what she’s into, what she likes and dislikes, and what really makes her heart soar. I know you inherited your family’s business, but I hope we won’t have to fight about what she wants to do if it’s not that.”
Gojo shook his head, “No. I took on the business because I’m good at it, not because I’m passionate about it. There are plenty of people in the world passionate about this work. I’d make her an heiress and let her pursue her dream if what I do doesn’t appeal to her.”
You smiled, “This is a bit deep for a first date.”
“Well, we’re already one kid in. I feel like compared to that we’ve only scratched the surface.”
Gojo realized, as he did everytime the two of you were together, that he wanted to spend his life like this. He wanted to spend everyday earning your smiles and making you laugh. The date was cut a little short by Celine getting fussy and needing a diaper change, but it was still nice to be out with you, and hold your hand. It was silly, considering all the other parts of you he’d touched, that holding your hand was such a big deal to him but it was.
Even as he drove back home, he kept your hand in his. You got back in, and Gojo sat upon getting Celine ready to wind down a bit. The two of you stepped back into your usual parent roles easily. And it wasn’t until later on at night that you got to revisit being two adults who were dating.
He was sitting on the sofa and you ran your fingers through his hair, “I’m pretty sure I could give you a rat tail.”
“Do it!” he said enthusiastically. You gathered the hair as the nape of his neck and started braiding. He had a decent length rat tail and you took a picture of it for him.
“No, I could pull this off. I’m bringing rat tails back.”
“Not dating me you’re not,” You laughed.
“Wow, I can’t believe you’re that shallow. Are you really only with me for my looks?”
“Well it’s not your personality,” you teased, just to see him look offended, “Let me cut your hair boy.”
Your en suite bathroom was pretty sizable. Big enough for you to get the chair from your vanity comfortably inside. You used an old bed sheet as a cape to keep his hair from getting everywhere. The bright vanity lights above the mirror was much needed as you refreshed his layers with the shears you used to clip your own ends. After being around each other so often, it was easy to maintain silence without feeling weird about it. Sometimes you caught his gaze in the mirror and you smiled before continuing your work. You ended in the front, getting his hair out of his face.
“Alright,” you said as you tilted his head up to look at you, “I think that’s as good as I’m gonna do. You should see your barber again. I miss the fade on the sides, and I might like it in the back too. You wiped away a few of the short ends of his hair from his cheek. The entire time you did so, he didn’t look away from you. His expression was serene, if not more than a little happy.
“What?” you demanded at length.
He shook his head, “You’re just really beautiful.”
“Thank you, Satoru.”
You took the makeshift cape off. While he checked out his hair, you cleaned up a bit. He turned around while you were disposing of his hair.
“You did a good job. Am I handsome enough for you now, bookworm?”
You thought again of that night, and the reason why you wound up here in the first place. You thought Gojo looked like fun. He was so much more than just fun.
“Stop fucking around. You know you never stopped being handsome,” you reached up to fuss with his hair and he bent down to let you. Before long your gaze trailed to his face, and the soft way he looked at you. His eyes were like an oasis, you thought, a place of refuge amidst the harshness of the world. You wanted to kiss him.
“I want to kiss you,” you said as soon as you had the thought.
His eyes widened a bit before he smiled, “C’mere then.”
He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in close to him. First the kiss was simple, chaste, and he went to pull back but you made a sound of discontent.
“Don’t get shy on me, Satoru.”
He chuckled before opening your lips with his, and letting his tongue touch yours. In all honesty, nothing beyond kissing Gojo had come to mind since you gave birth. The dip in estrogen after birth really made it easy not to think too much of him walking around shirtless. You were breastfeeding and so your obstetrician warned you that libido might be low, however the moment his tongue touched yours, a slowly building fire started in the pit of your stomach. It was not raging, but it was warm, and it kept you going in for more. He picked you up and set you on the counter, cradling your face gently. His kiss was sweet and sensual, a well choreographed dance of teeth and tongue. When he pulled away again he rested his forehead against yours.
“I wanted to do that for so long,” he breathed and then laughed.
You bit your lip as you smiled, “This was good. Don’t get any other ideas.”
“Oh I’m having wild thoughts about you, bookworm,” he stole your glasses off your face and put them on his, “My god, you really can’t see.”
“Fuck you, Satoru.”
Geto was not expecting Gojo to come over. Geto didn’t see Gojo these days unless he went to your house. Which might have bothered him, if Gojo didn’t have the cutest baby on the face of the Earth. Geto was tempted to be over everyday just to see her. Either way, he was surprised to see his friend on his doorstep and he was also surprised to see him looking so happy.
“We went on a date,” Gojo said.
Geto heard the telltale babbling of his favorite baby in the world, “Oh! You brought Celine! Get her in here.”
Gojo frowned, “I just shared important information with you, and all you care about is my baby.”
“That is correct,” Geto grabbed the pumpkin seat from Gojo and took Celine to the living room. He set the seat on the coffee table and pulled back the little shade to see her round face. She had her fist in her mouth but she looked up at Geto curiously. Her wide blue eyes took in his features with a neutral expression. Celine’s eyes were a good deal darker than Gojo’s and one of them had a dark section in the iris so they weren’t exactly symmetrical. However it only added to the charm. That and the little pink bow around the white section of her hair was heart melting. She had a lot of hair, especially for a six month old and if she didn’t have that bow it would probably annoy her.
“Oh you just get more adorable every time I see you,” he said as he worked on getting her out of the straps of the car seat.
“Did you even hear me?” Gojo asked.
“No, what were you saying?” Geto picked Celine up and she looked from him to her father and immediately grinned, as if she was only now noticing him there.
“Y/N and I! We went on a date yesterday.”
“Congratulations. What’s the verdict, as good as before?”
Gojo frowned, “You’re being crude again.”
“Oh, sorry. I just assumed… I mean it’s not like the two of you are strangers to…” he put a hand over one of Celine’s ears, and pressed her other ear against his chest, “sex.” He whispered the word.
“She’s not even one. I don’t think she knows what sex means.”
“Children listen to everything. So you never know, but I just figured you two were back at it again. Working on giving me another niece or nephew.”
“No, I think we’re taking it slow, all things considered. But I’m happy to be getting anywhere.”
“My god, Satoru, how long has it been?” Geto looked him up and down.
“I… don’t wanna talk about it. Can we celebrate this win? You’re really starting to piss on my parade.”
“That is not how that saying goes.”
“Well it feels worse than rain!”
“Does it? I don’t know what you’re in to,” Geto mused before lifting Celine up above his head so he could look up at her, “Your dada’s a weirdo! I don’t know how you’ll stand him when you get older.”
He said it in a cheery voice so of course the information was well received by baby Celine.
“You’re missing the point.”
“Right! You’re celebrating a date. Congratulations. And you two are exclusively dating? Or is it a casual thing?” Geto asked this expecting an answer right away. He hugged Celine back to his body and gave her his finger to hold. Gojo still hadn’t answered. Geto slowly turned around to look at Gojo. Gojo was just standing there with a kind of dead smile on his face.
Geto pinched the bridge of his nose, “Satoru, you have got to be fucking kidding me.”
“It was a great date, and we talked, and then at the end of the night she cut my hair for me, and she kissed me!”
“Don’t swoon.”
“But it was so cute. I didn’t even think to ask what kind of dating we were doing. I was just so happy that she was letting me in.”
“Okay, well, maybe that’s a conversation to have… like immediately.”
“But what if we’re not exclusive.”
“Then you should state that you want to be.”
“And what if she doesn’t want to be.”
Geto blinked at her, “Yeah, you two are like this right now because you kissed another woman while you two weren’t even dating. If she doesn’t want to be exclusive then none of that even makes sense.”
“Well then by that knowledge I can just assume-”
“No, don’t assume anything. Just ask her. I think you two are more than capable of going all in with each other. I am begging you to be a clear communicator. I am literally begging, because if I have to see you crying on live, I’m going to kill you. Plus, that woman is hot. If you don’t take her off the market someone else will, and this adorable baby will have a stepdad.”
“Every time you call her hot all I can think about is how adamant you were about her not being your type. So this is crazy to me,” Gojo said.
Geto huffed, “I was just upset-”
“You were being a hater.”
“I was not-”
“Hater! You were a hater! She was hot then, she’s smoking hot now, and she gave me the prettiest little baby.”
“Celine is more than just pretty. She is incredibly intelligent too. This is the most perfect baby in the world, and you won’t reduce her to just being a pretty face. Tell him Celine.”
She cooed as she smiled up at them both.
“See?” Geto said, “A true inspiration, and natural born leader.”
On the flip side, you took your break and called Janelle to tell her about your date with Gojo. It was something that had been on your mind nonstop. After you cut his hair the two of you cuddled up and watched a movie together like you often did at the end of the night. However, instead of sitting on opposite ends of the sofa, you stayed under his arm, cuddled close to your side.
“I went on a date last night,” you said.
“Gojo finally asked you out? Good for him.”
“How do you know it was Gojo?”
“Oh come on! I visit often. I’ve seen the way the two of you looked at each other. I was waiting on you guys to announce an engagement.”
“Janelle,” you complained, “You were supposed to act shocked and amazed.”
“Girl, everybody knew you were going to get back with your baby daddy. We were taking bets on it at your baby shower.”
“I never would have guessed. I thought you guys hated Satoru.”
“I just don’t like when people hurt your feelings. That shit pisses me off, and you know Kento’s protective. We just didn’t want you getting hurt, but honestly, after everything he’s been so devoted to both you and the baby that how could we even begin to think that he has other intentions.”
“… Well I guess you’re right and it was a really good date, and we kissed.”
“Oh wow, scandalous.”
“I’m going to hang up on you.”
“Okay, okay. I am very happy for you. I just kinda figured that something like that had happened because Gojo tweeted and I quote ‘The streets are never seeing me again. Fuck all of you’.”
You sighed heavily, “I can’t stand him.”
“Uh huh. So when’s your next date? Or is he just gonna move in now?”
“You’re so mean to me. I would say I’m gonna call Kento, but he’s worse!”
“Oh yeah. He’s much worse. He didn’t think you’d last this long before you were dating Gojo again.”
Your jaw dropped, “Wooow, you guys are so fake. Goodbye, Janelle.”
“Have fun with ya boo.”
For your next date, Gojo wanted to take you somewhere nice, so you needed a babysitter. This would be the first time the two of you were leaving her with someone. Naturally you chose Janelle and Kento. Gojo suggested your mom… you were not so thrilled to do so, you just didn’t want her in your business right now. Beside Janelle and Kento were happy to do it. The two of you spent the better part of an hour explaining your routines with her. Both of you jumping in to add stuff on.
“If she’s just plain old fussy, just try holding her and talking to her, she really likes to be talked to,” you explained.
“Don’t you two have a reservation?” Kento asked.
“Not really,” Gojo nodded, “This is important. She really does like it when you talk to her-”
“Go, both of you, before you’re late. She’s in good hands.”
“Okay, okay, but when we leave she’s going to lose it for a little bit, just give her a few toys, distract her with shiny things and she should be good.”
“Great, now get out.”
They all but pushed the two of you out of the house. Which was actually a common thing between your friends and your baby. Sometimes it seemed like they were infinitely more interested in your baby than you. Either way, you did have a date to get to. You didn’t really know what the two of you were doing, but it definitely wasn’t dinner, because you ate already, and it wasn’t something super fancy because he told you to dress for “movement” whatever that meant. Imagine your surprise when the two of you wound up at a skating rink.
“Satoru Gojo,” you said, turning to look at him, “You are not taking me skating.”
“I am. Do you know how?”
“Yeah, but it’s been forever since I put on skates. And if you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re gonna look like a baby giraffe.”
“More fun for you then.”
Gojo bought the two of you matching skates and it was probably the coolest thing in the world. Of course, Gojo was good at skating, because he was good at everything, so you didn’t even get the satisfaction of seeing him flail. The two of you arrived just in time for a couples skating class. It was probably the most fun you’d had on a date in a long time. And maybe that was because the part where you felt like you had to be cute for Gojo was long gone, and you were just yourself. Being so focused on the activity at hand gave you little room to wonder if Celine was okay. You trusted that your friends would call if something was wrong.
When it was time to pick her up though, the two of you were still giggling over your date. Nanami opened the door looking slightly disheveled. He appeared to have baby vomit in two places on his shirt and you could hear Celine shrieking somewhere in the house. She wasn’t exactly crying, she was likely just mildly upset about something and that was cause to shriek over.
“How was she?” you winced as you came inside.
“Fine, just energetic. It is 9 pm and she’s not asleep yet,” Nanami lamented. You continued in to see Janelle sitting on the floor trying to give Celine her rattle back, but she was having trouble grasping it, which was the cause of her frustration.
“Hey little squishy,” Gojo greeted and she turned to look at him. She was on her tummy, pushing up with her hands. She cooed excitedly at the sound of his voice, but of course couldn’t see his face yet. He swooped her up and she burst out in laughter.
“So she does laugh!” Janelle breathed, “She was just staring at me like I was a fool.”
“She thinks Satoru is the funniest, and he doesn’t even do anything,” You explained, turning to see Gojo kissing her cheeks, coaxing joyous sounds from her.
“Incredible,” Nanami said on a breath. Janelle got up to pack up Celine’s things, and grab her bottles from the sink.
“It looks like you might need a few years to really connect with Celine, Kento,” you laughed looking at his frazzled gaze.
He gave a tired laugh, “Yeah. Me and infants don’t really agree.”
The two of you made it home in no time, after all you didn’t live that far from Kento and Janelle. However, on the short drive home, Celine was asleep which told you that even though her godparents thought they were having a hard time with her, she really was staying awake just to play with them. The poor thing was so tired she was out within 5 minutes.
When Gojo put her in the crib and crept out she didn’t even show any signs of waking from the movement. You and Gojo settled down on the sofa as you often did now. Your legs were in his lap, and there was a baking show playing in the background but neither of you were giving it much attention. Gojo was rubbing your leg absently and that was fine until his hand went up to your thigh.
“Satoru, what are you thinking about?”
He pulled in a long breath, “Just thinking about how it’s been days since you kissed me.”
“You’re so needy,” you teased.
“I just need you, mama,” he grinned. You rolled your eyes so hard that it hurt, but you made your way over to him, until you straddled his lap.
“Is this what you had in mind?” you said as his hands settled on your hips. He was reclined on the sofa, and so he had to look up at you for once.
“Hm, something like this, but you were wearing a lot less clothes.”
“Slow your roll, hot shot,” you chuckled, taking his face in your hands. You still had a small smile on your face as you leaned in to kiss him.
Every time you kissed Gojo, that fire in your belly just got hotter. The only thing soothing it was his hands touching your body, rubbing up and down your thighs, gripping them. It made you think of all the other things he could do with his hands. You moaned in his mouth when he pulled you down more firmly in his lap, making you grind against him, slowly but firmly. When you were moving on your own, he let his hands slip under your shirt. At the same time he started kissing your neck. You kept your eyes closed to hide the fact they were rolled into the back of your head.
You were both breathing heavily as your bodies moved together. However, just as Gojo was beginning to tug at your shirt, Celine started crying. You both broke apart, the spell of the moment violently shattered by your daughter.
“Ah, parenthood,” you chuckled, “I’ve got it, she’s probably hungry.”
Chapter 11: Celine is quickly bridging the gap between you and Gojo but you’re still unsure of where you fit in each other’s lives beyond being Celine’s parents.
Newborns were a special kind of torture.You were both hopelessly taken with this baby, and all you had to show for it was baby vomit on your shirts, lots of crying, and very little sleep. On your end, you had sore nipples added to the mix. You pumped pretty regularly so Gojo could feed her with a bottle at night, and you could sleep as much as possible but it still wasn’t enough.
“Satoru, I’m begging you to rinse the bottles,” you sighed as you went to the sink to see a closed bottle just in the sink. It had to have been there a while, because you breastfed all today.
“Well, when I clone myself I’ll be sure to put one of em on dish duty, mama.”
You rolled your eyes, “I’m not saying it to nag. It’s just a bitch to clean them with old milk in it. That’s all.”
He just sighed, “My star, tell your mother to take a deep breath, please,” he cooed.
“I’m just trying to keep this house together. If we let it pile up, it’ll be impossible to get through.”
Gojo had Celine tucked into his arm, her eyes were open and she was peering up at her father. You doubted she could see his face, but she still seemed attentive. Her eyes were almost as startlingly blue as her father’s. You assumed they would darken up over time.
He leaned her up a bit to put a finger on her chin and move her bottom lip like she was talking, “Mama, chill out.”
“Satoru,” you sighed, whirling around to glare at him.
“ I will be sure to rinse the bottles.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re so tense. We should schedule massages.”
You just threw him a look, before looking at Celine. You got on your tiptoes and leaned in close to her. Her head turned to look at you and you couldn’t help grinning before cooing at her and kissing her cheeks.
“That will have to wait for a good long time. I’m with the baby for the next 6 months.”
Things overall were just fine, save some occasional bickering. Honestly the first month of having a baby was a blur, mostly because you were sleep deprived through most of it. Gojo stayed at your place for days at a time. The two of you were too wrapped up with the baby to really worry about anything else. So you felt no need to be on edge about it… but there were moments, tiny slip ups.
You were in your room, where the baby monitor was set up and you heard Gojo speaking softly. Maybe he forgot the monitor was on, maybe he just didn’t care, but the former seemed more likely. It was pretty much always on. It was easy to forget about it.
“My sweet girl,” he cooed at Celine, “You know, I have no idea how this dad stuff works, but it seems like you’re taking it easy on me. I thought it would be harder to love you, that I’d have to work at it… but no. I loved you from the moment I saw you… and maybe some time before that too. That’s good, for you and for me. Well, it’s definitely good for you. Your mom’s gonna have to be in charge of telling you no, for sure. But… it does mean that I understand my own parents, my own father even less. I’ve only known you a month now, and you haven’t done much but cry, poop, sleep, and eat, but I still love you. And I love you when you throw up on me, and when you won’t go back to sleep at night. But for as long as I knew them, I was never very sure if my parents even liked me,” he laughed softly, “Maybe they just had poor taste. I’d never do that to you.”
It made your chest ache. You didn’t bring it up but when he left the nursery you met him in the hall before he could get to the guest bedroom.
“Um, Satoru.”
“Hm?”
“You’re very good with her,” you stood a good distance away as you said this. It made it easier to meet his gaze.
He smiled and rubbed the back of his neck, “Thanks, I have no idea what I’m doing if I’m honest.”
You huffed a little laugh, “Yeah me neither… um are you dead tired?”
“No more than usual, and never too tired for you. What do you want, mama?”
Your brain stalled, hearing his voice go deeper with the added weight of a long day, “I was thinking of watching a movie but I don’t know what. You usually pick out good ones. We could watch a movie together… and we’re just watching a movie I just don’t want to be all the way downstairs-”
“I’ve been meaning to watch a series. I think you’ll like it,” he cut off your rambling, walking towards you to go into your room. You should have known the two of you were too tired to truly watch the show. You fell asleep after maybe 1 episode. You didn’t know when Gojo fell asleep, but when you woke up it was because Celine was crying and you could hear it through the baby monitor. Gojo kissed the top of your head as you went to sit up.
“I’ve got this one, mama. Go back to sleep.” He did not come back. And you tried not to feel disappointed by that.
Gojo usually went out grocery shopping, or Kento came by to get your list, sometimes your mom visited and cooked, even Shoko and Geto came by once with take out, but eventually you felt like you might go a little crazy if you didn’t get out of the house. Gojo encouraged you to go.
“It will be a little one on one time. You’d like that wouldn’t you, my little squishy,” he squished her cheeks and she cooed at him. Her eyes were still blue, though not quite as bright as Gojo’s.
“Okay, I’m just grabbing a quick coffee with Janelle, there are two bottles in the fridge okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Go. I want to bond with my daughter without you around to distract her,” He turned to kiss her chubby little cheek as he held her, “you wanna spend all day with daddy don’t you, sweetie?”
She responded in kind,with more cooing. They would be fine together and if they weren’t, you were pretty sure Gojo would call. It still put you on edge to be leaving the house like this. On the same note though, seeing the sun for the first time in a week felt heavenly, and meeting up with Janelle without having the baby for her to coo over was amazing.
The coffee shop had a variety of treats and you resolved to bring some back for Gojo. He really had been a big help, especially when the baby blues hit you hard. You were contemplating throwing him a little baby friendly birthday party for his birthday next month. You would encourage him to go out and have fun. He was so devoted to Celine that he was always with her.
“So, you and Gojo have been living together for almost a month.”
“He’s in the guest room, Janelle. Don’t start,” you said as she grinned behind her coffee mug.
“It’s sweet. I’ve been stalking his private snap because now it’s nothing but baby and you. You look good by the way. The weight settled on you well. You got that mama body.”
You laughed. You didn’t stress yourself out with the idea of getting back to your pre baby weight. Why would you? You weren’t living a pre baby life. There was also maybe the fact that you certainly didn’t feel undesirable in this new body. Gojo, despite being on his best behavior, was not subtle in his appreciation of your added weight. It was flattering to watch him lose his train of thought as you walked by with only a nursing bra on, or in a big shirt and shorts. You’d gained about 10 pounds and it settled in your stomach, thighs, and breasts. You never really had a chance to feel any type of way about it. Not when Gojo was nearly breaking his neck everyday just to get a glimpse.
“This is the first time I’ve put on something other than pajamas in so long.”
“I’ll be happy to get you out of the house any time. Do you think Satoru is okay with the baby?”
“Oh yeah, those two are thick as thieves. Look at this,”
You showed her a picture in your phone of Gojo holding Celine while she was in her teddy bear onesie. It was still a bit too big so it looked ridiculous. Her eyes were covered by the hood and Gojo was in the middle of laughing. And then you showed her a video of Celine hitting Gojo in the mouth. He was talking to her about you being mean and she smacked him with her tiny hand. There were so many pictures and videos on your phone of them both.
“Right, so he’s just staying in the guest room and there’s nothing there.”
“Janelle! He’s just a good father!”
“And he never has a shirt on in your house.”
“Skin to skin contact is important for dads too.”
“Riiight.”
You huffed, “No more baby pictures for you. You’re ungrateful.”
“Okay, okay, you two are just co-parenting. And I’ll leave it alone. How are you? I know the baby blues hit you hard at first. Now that I have you alone we can talk about it.”
“Oh I feel pretty good. I mean, I could do with more sleep but honestly I feel great.”
It was nice to catch up with Janelle. She told you about things happening in her day to day life. The two of you solidified your “Friendsgiving” plans. It would be at their house and you were grateful for that. The idea of trying to get your house together with the baby around. It wasn’t a mess but stopping to clean for guests was an entire thing that you didn’t have any kind of time for. While you sat talking your phone lit up with a message and you glanced at it to see Gojo’s name. You looked at it only to see a picture of him and Celine doing a little tummy time while she was awake. It made you smile.
“Is that Gojo?”
“Yeah,” you sighed, “it’s a picture of Celine.”
Janelle just hummed, and you completely missed the knowing smile on her face.
When you got back home you had an abundance of sweets for Gojo. You could hear music playing in the kitchen, so you followed the sound to see him, shirtless as always, holding Celine while he sang to her. It sounded like he was rediscovering the “Emancipation of Mimi” by Mariah Carey. You decided not to interrupt, instead listening to his dramatic vocals, his dance moves and all the sweet kisses he pressed to her face.
“We belong together baby! When you left I lost a part of me!” He held up a fake microphone. When she was old enough to really understand what was going on she was going to have a field day with her father.
“I didn’t know you were a Mariah Carey fan,” you said as the song ended.
He whirled around, visibly startled but he played it off, “Did you enjoy the show?”
You nodded, “It was good, a little flat but not awful. I brought you back some goodies. I can take her so you can eat.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s nothing.” He moved in to pass you the baby and you very nearly lifted on your tiptoes and puckered your lips for a kiss. It would have been such a natural thing to do, if the two of you were something more than friends with a baby. It made you freeze in place. You got used to Gojo being around. It felt cruel though to make him leave when he hadn’t done anything wrong. His primary focus was Celine, and he was so good with her. You took her and walked away focusing on her instead of your odd behavior she peered up at you curiously with a pacifier in her mouth. You sat on the sofa with her and Gojo followed you.
“I’m down to finish up that baking show,” he offered before grabbing the remote.
“Sounds good.”
The problem was in spite of any bickering, you and Gojo worked well together. Celine was not a fussy baby but she did crave closeness. If she wasn’t hugged up with one of you, frankly she wasn’t happy. It was utterly heart melting to see the way Gojo reacted to her crying. Even you got a little exhausted with her but Gojo was always there to hold her close and rant a bit about the world mistreating his baby while he kissed her cheek. However you did worry that he wasn’t going out enough. Sure it was adorable to see him asleep in random places. He often fell asleep on the sofa while the two of you were supposed to be watching a movie. The worst part about that was he was extremely pretty while sleeping. It relaxed his face, and he couldn’t say stupid shit while he was sleeping. Still, Celine was quick to distract you with her needs.
When it was time for her first round of immunizations in November, Gojo was more worried about it than you. You didn’t like the idea that she would be in pain but vaccines were important. You weren’t going to let your baby get a preventable illness because you didn’t want to see her get stuck with a needle. Gojo sat beside you in the waiting room with Celine in her pumpkin seat in front of him. She was fast asleep so Gojo was focused on you.
“How many is she getting?”
“I think three.”
He made a sound of discontent, “She’s going to hate that.”
“It’s a necessary evil Satoru, you wouldn’t want her to catch a preventable illness right?”
He sighed, “Right. But this is our baby, that doesn’t bother you.”
“I’m sure it will bother me to see her cry, but no not really… is this how you’re going to react when we get her ears pierced?”
“Do you have to do it so young?”
“It’s a cultural thing. A little black baby, especially a baby girl, just has to have some diamond studs. I don’t make the rules.”
“So it’s not just aesthetic.”
“No, it’s tradition. It’s what we do, and I have a cousin who’s a professional piercer. I’ll go to her and spare you the experience.”
He hummed, “I hate seeing either of you cry. It bothers me.” He settled.
“Oh big papa bear protector huh? I remember you making fun of me when I cried watching My Neighbor Totoro.”
“Because there was absolutely no reason for you to be crying! That’s different.”
“Wow, but when Celine is crying for no reason she gets hugs and kisses.” You laughed.
Gojo raised his eyebrows, “Do you want hugs and kisses, mama?”
Your entire face was hot with mortification, “No! That’s not what I meant. I was just saying I should be allowed to cry over Ghibli movies.”
The nurse called you all back and they did a check up. Celine was weighed and measured . She thoroughly charmed the nurse with her eyes and hair alone, and pretty soon she was back in Gojo’s arms. All was well when you met the pediatrician. She was happy with the status of Celine’s health so that part went fast.
“Alright, dad, are you good to hold her while I do immunizations?”
He nodded solemnly.
Celine had chubby little thighs and the moment they poked her with the first needle she let the world know she wasn’t happy about it. The pediatrician was quick with the other two. You noticed the deep frown on Gojo’s face and you patted his shoulder. He turned his frown to you before side-eyeing the doctor. His gaze was just the slightest bit glassy.
“She’s gonna be alright, Satoru,” you said to him softly.
He huffed, “I know. But I still hate it,” he hugged Celine close, murmuring soft words to her. With her father comforting her it was only a few minutes before she had calmed down. In that time she received cute little character bandages, and you both learned that she had a clean bill of health. Though, Gojo’s mood was spoiled.
Sometimes Gojo did go home for a night or two. You weren’t entirely sure what prompted him to go but you tried not to dwell on it. Sometimes he said he needed to go into the office the next morning. Perhaps he needed a full nights rest for that. You didn’t mind. You were still on maternity leave so it’s not like it impacted your schedule. You were happy for a little alone time with Celeste. As the days passed she looked more and more like you. When he was gone during the day you sent him videos of Celine.
That’s how another few months passed. Gojo ventured out a bit more than you but all in all, he practically lived at your place. Within three months you were confident that he would be fine looking after Celine while you were at work. He was a good dad. You were pretty sure you were a good mom but you weren’t really sure. At the very least. You were trying your best.
For Gojo’s birthday, you felt more comfortable reaching out to Shoko for help than Geto despite the fact that Geto and Gojo were closer. You still had her number in the bottom of your purse from the baby shower. You wanted to do something nice for him and this was his first birthday as a father. You wanted to throw a little party for him, and you needed someone to encourage him to go out and have fun.
The fact that Gojo was not an early riser worked in your favor. You were able to put up the decorations while you had Celine in a baby sling. She was happy as long as she was attached to you, so there was no protest from her. Janelle and Kento came over to hang up decorations that were too high for you.
“Where is he?” Nanami asked as he took Celine out of her baby sling once you were ready to start cooking breakfast.
“He’s still sleeping. Stop making that face. He’s up with her the most at night. He has more than earned his rest.”
Nanami rolled his eyes before focusing on Celine, “Just you wait until you grow up. You’ll see. Your father is utterly ridiculous.”
“No, her father is very attentive to her, Kento.”
“I showed you his Snapchat. His whole world revolves around this bundle of joy.”
You let him slide with having Celine on his close friends story, it actually only consisted of Shoko, Janelle, and Geto. Nanami did not have a Snapchat. He did have an insta… but it was just filled with food pics.
“I actually feel really good about when I have to go back to work. I’m not gonna lie, I was worried at first. I mean, he’s chaotic, but I still think he’s sweet and he definitely loves Celine more than anything else. We’ve been pretty much living together since she was born, and there’s been no funny business. I really appreciate his help. Which is why I wanted to do something nice for his birthday. So Kento I am going to ask that you be nice.”
“I will be silent,” Nanami amended.
You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t help laughing a little. You turned around, leaving Nanami to his usual task of talking to Celine like she was just another adult. Granted, his voice was a little softer when he spoke to the baby, but truly he spoke to her like he would anyone else. She simply peered up at him curiously.
Shoko came in with Geto in tow. She had two bottles of champagne and Geto had the orange juice. By the time they came, Nanami had passed Celine to Janelle so that he could help you get breakfast done faster. You were never more grateful for a big kitchen than you were now.
“Where’s the birthday boy?” Shoko asked.
“He’s not up yet. He took overnight with Celine, so he’s probably kind of wiped out,” you said turning around to look at them. You were not at all surprised by the way they both looked down at your chest then back at you. You wanted to wear something nice but you needed your boobs to be easily accessible for the baby, which meant that wrap dresses were preferred. They were used to seeing you in oversized shirts when they visited. It had been a while since you got dolled up.
“Jesus fucking christ,” Shoko murmured, just low enough for Geto to hear.
“Huh?” you cocked your head to one side. The apron you wore while cooking only emphasized the new curves of your body. Your waist was thicker… but compared to your chest and hips it was nothing.
“Nothing,” Shoko shook her head, “I’m gonna put this in the fridge, then go wake up the birthday boy.”
“Okay,” you nodded, “Thanks again for coming. He’ll be happy to see you both.” Your eyes switched from Shoko to Geto giving him a smile too. He was… not looking at your face, but he had the decency to look ashamed of himself when he made eye contact.
The two of them left the kitchen and immediately started whispering to one another. They’d seen you in the last three months, but again you were always wearing a bonnet and a huge shirt with sweatpants. It jumbled your form, and honestly made you look bigger than you were. Neither of them were ready for you to turn around.
“I see why Satoru is always over here,” Shoko hissed as they climbed the steps, “Did you fucking see her?”
“Oh yeah, I saw. I don’t know how he hasn’t lost his mind yet. They’re still not together.”
“I told him to take it slow, rebuild trust, I think trust is built. It has to be for her to want to throw a birthday party for him.”
“I would say so, but he’d know better than me. Whenever I’m over they seem friendly.”
When they got to the guest room, they found Gojo sprawled, face down on the bed. Shoko took a running start and jumped on his back. It knocked the wind out of his body.
“Happy birthday!” she yelled at him as he wheezed.
“God dammit, Shoko,” he groaned.
“You better get used to this treatment. The moment Celine’s big enough this is how you’ll be waking up every morning,” she laughed, she climbed to one side of the bed and Suguru sat on the other.
“Happy birthday, idiot,” he said.
Gojo turned to look at him, “I can’t believe Y/N let you two in.”
“She invited us,” Geto answered.
Gojo frowned, “For what?”
“Your birthday, genius! Get up!”
Gojo pulled in a deep breath. It only occurred to him then that he could smell breakfast food cooking. He checked the clock on the nightstand. It was closer to noon than morning, but he wasn’t going to complain about breakfast food.
“Satoru, when were you gonna tell us she was hotter than before?” Shoko asked after he got out of bed.
“What do you mean?” He asked as he rubbed his eyes. Gojo did not sleep with a shirt on, but both of his friends had seen him naked before so neither of them were fazed by this state of undress.
“What do we mean?” Geto demanded, “You can’t be fucking serious.”
Gojo raised his eyebrows, “You’re checking her out too? I thought she ‘wasn’t your type’.”
Geto rolled his eyes at that. Honestly, he was just being bitter when he said that. If Gojo hadn’t called dibs the first time they met you at Janelle’s birthday party, he would have gone after you himself. Though, he would admit that he never would have been as stuck on you as Gojo was.
“Look I didn’t know I was into MILFS until she turned around,” Shoko continued, “Those mommy milkers are mommy milking.”
“Tell me about it. I just wanna…” he put his hands up as if he were holding a pair of breasts and then pretended to motorboat them, “But honestly with the baby around I haven’t been able to do too much thinking about it. I don’t want to mess up what we have going on here by making her uncomfortable. I really prefer to be able to be with Celine all the time.”
“Yeah, Celine is great, but come on- Wait you haven’t seen her today. So you don’t even know. Go. Go make yourself decent,” Geto instructed.
When Gojo came downstairs he could hear you talking in the voice you used especially for Celine. He entered the kitchen and you were sitting at the breakfast nook breastfeeding. There was a blanket covering you, something you didn’t usually bother with if there weren’t other people in the house. He supposed he saw your boobs a lot, but just didn’t think too hard about it because they were serving a purpose that was not recreational, but with your chest covered he was encouraged to look at your face. You had a little bit of makeup on, he realized, and you’d taken the time to do your hair, and after being around and watching your routines, he was well aware just how big of a deal that was. You smiled when you noticed him.
“Happy birthday, Satoru!” your grin was infectious, lips painted a flattering shade of red that matched the wrap dress you wore even though he couldn’t see much of it. He noticed the decorations around the house as he came to the kitchen.
“All this for me? You shouldn’t have.”
“Well, you know, I just wanted to do something nice,” you explained before looking away, a bit embarrassed by your own drive to do something for him. Was this over the line? It wasn’t weird to plan something for the father of your child’s birthday? And he was here. How shitty would it have been not to acknowledge it at all. Gojo patted the top of your head as he came by.
“Thank you.”
You looked up at him to see the small genuine smile on his face. It made your heartbeat stutter and your stomach filled with butterflies. He was still so handsome. There was something soft about how fluffy his hair had gotten because he hadn’t bothered to go get it cut since before Celine was born. Funny enough, it didn’t suit him too badly. You scoot over a bit so that he could sit beside you.
“It’s nothing really,” you shook your head, “You know tall people die faster so who knows how many birthdays of yours we all have together, gigantor.”
He snorted, “Maybe you should be nicer to me, considering how short our time is.”
“Look, I coordinated a birthday brunch. How much more do you want from me?”
He looked over your smiling face and thought of all the many things he wanted from you. He tried to put how much he wanted you out of his mouth, but with Geto and Shoko bringing it up he couldn’t help but think about how he’d like to wake up next to you every morning, and he wanted a million more nights where the two of you went to watch a movie only to fall asleep within the first 15 minutes. He wanted a million more days of you fussing at him about cleaning bottles, or taking out the trash in the nursery, whatever you wanted to fuss about. This couldn’t last forever, this arrangement that you allowed. Every time he had to leave it ached in a way he could bear less and less each time he did it. And he only did it to cut the weight of the affection he felt for you at times.
“You done, sweetie,” you spoke to Celine, pulling her from your chest where she’d stopped suckling for a while, “Here will you take her so I don’t flash everyone.”
“They should be so lucky to have the chance,” Gojo responded.
You scoffed, “Please, these babies are purely functional now.”
“Respectfully, the just serve a purpose beyond aesthetics. They have not stopped being beautiful,” Gojo responded.
Thanks… I think. Here I actually need to get up.”
After a bit of shuffling you were able to move around the kitchen again, and Gojo immediately understood what his friends meant. They, too, were following you with their eyes. The wrap dress was made of a soft sweater material and it hugged the curves of your body. He swallowed hard when you turned and he could see your chest. Yeah, it was probably best for his sanity that you usually walked around in big shirts that hid your body.
“You know,” Geto said suddenly, “It might be nice to get you out of the house too, tonight. I’m sure Satoru wouldn’t mind partying with you.”
You turned to look at him, and your eyes were wide, “Oh no. Someone has to watch the baby.”
“We could do it,” Janelle offered immediately.
You looked at her, “I also haven’t pumped at all… and it’s not like I can drink.”
“Satoru doesn’t drink either,” Geto reminded you, “I was really just thinking we’d go out for dinner. I think Satoru’s had enough of going out with me.”
You tried to keep the frown off of your face as you remembered the last time you remembered Gojo being out with Geto. Your eyes skipped from Geto to Shoko, then Nanami and Janelle, lastly Gojo.
“Um… it makes me anxious to be away from Celine, but what do you think, Satoru?”
His eyes widened. He didn’t expect you to want his opinion. Though he supposed it was a decision regarding the baby.
“There are still two bottles in the fridge right now, and if you pump again this evening that should be enough… but honestly I’m on edge about leaving her too. Not with Janelle and Nanami. I’m sure you two will do great. Just in general. Is there any way I can bow out of dinner?”
“It’s your birthday,” you lamented, “You should go out and have fun.”
“I don’t have to go out to have fun.”
“Sure but you’ve been cooped up in the house with us for three months. Why don’t you get out there… lady killer?” you tacked on the last part but it sounded weird even to you.
“But my two favorite ladies are here.”
Shoko snorted, “Well damn, I lost that title quick.”
“You haven’t had the title in almost a year,” Geto responded with a laugh.
“Satoru.”
“Y/N,” he said your name in the same tone, “Why don’t you just believe me when I say I’m where I want to be.”
“We’ll bring dinner to you guys then,” Geto amended, when it seemed like you were going to tell him to leave, “Uncle Suguru needs his baby time anyway. Hand her over, Gojo.”
“No,” Gojo pulled her in closer, “Go make your own baby.”
“Stop it, don’t be stingy.”
You watched them bicker and thought again to insist that Gojo go, but Nanami touched your arm before leaning in to speak to you.
“If Gojo wanted to leave, he would take the out you were giving him.” He pulled back to meet your gaze. You just nodded. He was probably right. Still it was his birthday and as far as you knew, he liked to go out and party. When did that change? Was it your fault? You had these thoughts while you put together the single most sugary stack of pancakes, with all of the fixings he enjoyed. You wanted to make it pretty.
You all took brunch to the dining room. Celine fell asleep so Gojo took her to the nursery. While he was upstairs, Geto sat in his seat.
“So, you and Gojo are close.”
Your face was immediately on fire, “Well we did have a baby together.”
“Right, right, but you’re a pretty woman, you’ve got to be itching to get back on the dating scene.”
You frowned, “No. I have a newborn… Geto if you’re hitting on me I’m going to tell Gojo.”
“No, I’m not hitting on you.”
“Well you didn’t have to sound so appalled.”
“No, that’s not how I meant it. I just, you’re the mother of my best friend’s kid. Respectfully, I’m not interested.”
“Well, I wasn’t really an option for you so…”
He narrowed his eyes at you, “I see why Satoru likes you. You’re both incredibly difficult.”
“Well what did you want?”
“Nothing, just wanted to be sure you were happy with Satoru hanging around. Sometimes hints go right over his head. You were pretty adamant about him leaving.”
“I just want him to have fun. He just turned 27. He’s still young and up until I got pregnant, he was a guy who partied. I didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t go have fun. That’s all. I don’t know why I still try though. Even when I was pregnant he could get so stubborn about me leaving his place or him leaving mine.”
“Get out of my seat, Suguru. You can sit by a hot MILF when you make one of your own,” Gojo snapped when he came back. He had the baby monitor in hand.
“Stop calling me that, you Goliath built bitch,” you complained.
“Don’t get biblical with me… or maybe do,” he said, tossing a thoughtful gaze your way.
“Choke, Satoru,” you answered simply.
Brunch went without a hitch. You had a virgin mimosa just like Gojo. It was fun to sit back and watch him interact with his friends. Even Nanami got in on the conversation, recalling funny stories about Gojo in his youth. After breakfast, Nanami volunteered to clean up to get out of playing the card game that Janelle brought along. It was a game most like drawing superlatives, where you each gave each other a scenario they were most likely to be in. It had the potential to go awry, but did not. You wound up having give your hand to Nanami anyway because you needed to go tend to Celine but you didn’t want to slow the game down.
“So… are you going to wait until she’s found someone else or…” Geto began.
Gojo slowly turned his head to glare at Geto, “Aren’t you the same person who was mad at me for spending so much time with her?”
“Yes, but I’m over that now, and it’s obvious that she’s into you.”
Shoko made a sound, “I’m on the fence. She likes you, but she’s not gonna make a rash decision.”
Janelle nodded, “For sure. She’s not gonna give you an honest chance right now. You’ve both got a newborn to worry about.”
Gojo pulled in a deep breath, “Nanamin, what do you think?”
“I don’t approve of you. Shall we continue the game?”
Shoko and Geto left to pick up food for everyone from Gojo’s favorite place in the evening. You were already yawning. You usually snuck in a mid day nap while Celine was sleeping, but you’d been up since early this morning.
“If you want to take a nap, I’ll only hold it against you a little bit,” Gojo said.
“Your baby is sucking the life out of me through my boobs.”
“I’m going to tastefully ignore the innuendo you set up for me.”
“Oh how gracious of you.”
“You know you look stunning today. I didn’t have a chance to say so. I’m flattered you got dolled up just for me.”
“Please, I got dolled up because Shoko was coming over,” You said with a teasing smile.
“But it’s mybirthday.”
“Just enjoy the view. Don’t be ungrateful.”
Gojo glanced down at the necklace he gave you. You always wore it which he appreciated, especially since it looked so nice on you. He was still brainstorming on things to get Celine. She was a bit young for jewelry, but he considered a nameplate bracelet when she got a little older. This was easily one of his favorite birthdays. He was surrounded by friends and… family. He had a blood relative to be around now. It hit him in waves, every time he looked at you that you’d really given him a family.
At the end of the night, after Celine was in the bed again, he insisted upon helping you clean up. You tried to deny his help, but at this point he was pretty good at insisting upon helping you even when you were obstinate. He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye and he caught you looking up at him once. You’d opened your mouth to speak but saw him looking and paused.
“What?”
“Nothing… I’m just very grateful for today. That’s probably the most fun I’ve ever had on my birthday.”
“Oh nonsense. You’re not a homebody. I’m sure you’ve had incredible nights, sandwiched between models.”
“I have… but you know at the end of it all, the models leave and the party’s over and you’re left by yourself. I wasn’t a homebody because I haven’t really been in a place that feels like home. Being with you… and Celine of course. It uh, well it feels like home.”
You smiled but the expression was too sad on your face. You turned away from him, to put away some things left on the counter. As badly as you wanted to take those words to heart, you just couldn’t. In another three months you would be back to work. Gojo wouldn’t be here all the time, and he would remember just how fun it was to be in the streets with all the other single people.
“Don’t do that,” he said softly.
“Do what?” you asked.
“You make this face when I tell you the truth. You look like a kicked puppy and I can’t take it. Why don’t you believe me?”
You looked up at him, “I don’t want to have this conversation, Satoru. It’s your birthday. We had a really good day.”
“Well it’s my birthday. Don’t I get a birthday wish?”
You thought of the cake that Geto and Shoko came back with. They made him put on a party hat and blow out 27 candles.
“You already blew out your candles. That’s when you get those wishes.”
“Well I’ll tell you one.”
“No, if you tell me, then it won’t come true.”
“I’m afraid it won’t come true if I don’t tell you,” he turned your body to face him, with his hands on your hips, “I care about you, and I wish you’d believe it.”
“I do believe it, Gojo. You prove it every day.”
“It’s not just because you’re Celine’s mom, though. I care about you.”
Chapter 10: As the birth of your baby approaches things reach a calm between you and Gojo. There are bigger things to worry about than just you and him.
You hit 39 weeks… and you were still pregnant. The cute parts of being pregnant were done. They’d been done for a while now. You were full term and ready to serve this baby an eviction notice. There was no point in your day where you felt comfortable. You were officially on maternity leave from work and you spent your days getting everything ready for the baby, whenever she decided to grace you with her presence.
“Honey,” you said to your baby bump, “I love you, but you’re killing my back,” you grumbled.
“Need a massage?” Gojo offered.
Gojo was a staple in your life again. It was by necessity and also because you slipped down a singular stair while he was over once, and now he outright refused to leave you alone for a whole day. He came just shy of buying you a life alert bracelet after that. To be honest, you’d scared yourself pretty badly too. You would be more than happy when this baby was out of you so you could get your balance back.
“Don’t touch me,” you answered, batting away his hands as you walked into the living room. Things with Gojo were… normal. You were fighting to keep them normal. It did not help that he came over every day dressed like an off-shoot model, but you managed. The Braxton-Hicks contractions and kicks were enough to distract you. At the very least he had a purpose in your house. He insisted upon getting the guest rooms together. You weren’t really sure what his purpose was behind that, but you let him do his thing. Janelle had ordered you to learn how to accept help and this was obviously your homework.
Thankfully, you were showing signs that labor was imminent. Your belly had dropped, which only made moving around more uncomfortable and inconvenient. Gojo made fun of how often you would suddenly pop up to start moving things around in the nursery. The nursery was beyond perfect. It had everything you could possibly need for a baby inside. However, with these sudden bursts of energy you were compelled to go in her room and fluff the oversized teddy bear Gojo bought on a whim for her, then fiddle with a few things in the drawers, maybe reorganize the changing table. It was funny to him.
“Come on, mama, take a seat. Everything in here is perfect, and if you fluff that bear again I’m gonna lose my mind.” He laughed.
You sighed heavily, “I feel like I need to be doing something in here.”
“You’re nesting. It’s really cute watching you waddle around. Why don’t you waddle to your room so I can get baby time?”
That was something Gojo was taking full advantage of. The two of you did a week long birthing class and the instructor advised the non-pregnant partners to take time to connect with the baby en utero. The very moment she said that, you knew you would not know peace. You sat on your bed, propped up by new pillows that Gojo got you with your shirt pulled up to expose your belly.
“Alright, baby Gojo, listen to me, you gotta get out of there. I know it’s great and it’s warm, but mom wants you out and I want to meet you. Don’t you want to meet me? Your daddy’s a good looking guy, I promise I won’t disappoint. Your mom’s a looker too, but don’t tell her I told you so, she gets grumpy when I compliment her.”
You rolled your eyes. Gojo could entertain himself talking to a captive audience of one for a long time, so you just closed your eyes and reclined back against the pillow. You were often tired, mostly because your baby was nocturnal. She would kick and jab you all night, making it impossible to get a full 8 hours. With that in mind you wound up dozing off.
Gojo noticed you went to sleep and sighed longingly. The last few weeks were easier. You didn’t complain that he wanted to be with you. He stayed all day, and left at night, though he slept lightly and with his ringer on so he could act quickly if you called to tell him you were in labor. It ached to have to leave your side at the end of the day, but it was the way things were for now. Gojo kissed your stomach.
“You have to come soon. I need help with your mom. She’s really stubborn, you know, and as hot as it is, it works against her sometimes. And she’s always glaring at me behind those big glasses. Which are hot too by the way, you’ll see when you get here. You really lucked up in the looks department you know? You have two beautiful parents, so you’re gonna be something.”
He was rewarded with the, somewhat terrifying, sight of a foot kicking your stomach. It was a rolling lump that moved across your belly. He took out his phone in hopes that she would do it again, and as he kept talking she did. He caught the moment on camera. When it started getting late he woke you to tell you that he was leaving and you nodded groggily.
“I’ll walk you out.”
“No you won’t,” he answered, “I have a key, I’ll turn off the lights downstairs and lock up. I put snacks in the nursery mini fridge, so you have no reason to go down the stairs while I’m gone.”
“You’re such a worry wart. I don’t know how our baby will stand it,” you said as you settled into bed.
He still got a little sentimental over phrases like “our baby”. It was the one thing the two of you were solidly doing together. Everything else was scattered to the wind, but you were true to your word. You never got in the way of anything he wanted to do for or with the baby. If Nanami really had told you to lawyer up then you weren’t listening, which was a relief. It wasn’t the financial part that worried him, it was the state your relationship would have to be in to stoop to that. Granted, Gojo was willing to bet that Nanami was just angry that night.
When he got to his own house he was surprised to see Geto’s car in the driveway. The two of them hadn’t spoken since the day Geto gave him the key to his house back. Gojo pulled in a deep breath, there were a lot of things that he’d wanted to tell Geto, happy news he wanted to share, more than a hundred memes, but he kept it all to himself. He didn’t want to invite whatever negativity Geto had back into his life. That was hard.
Gojo got out of his new car. He’d put the flashy sports car in the garage and picked up an SUV for the sake of the baby. He needed something safe, with a backseat in order to put in a car seat. It was probably the most real change for him. He and Geto had matching cars, it was a thing they did together in college. It used to be such a big deal when they both showed up together. Now they were very obviously in two different stages of life. Geto got out of his car and met Gojo on the driveway.
“New car,” Geto commented.
“Yeah, needed something with a backseat.”
Geto nodded, “Look, I came over here because I felt bad about the things I said to you. You’re right, you’re gonna be a dad and your life has to change.”
“Oh wow, hold on, I’m gonna need that on record.” Gojo pulled out his phone to record Geto, “Say it again, one more time for posterity.”
“Absolutely not. Let’s go in, it’s cold out here.”
“No, no, I’m not letting you in until you say that again.”
It was October, which meant that the nights could get chilly, so Geto rolled his eyes, “You were right, Gojo.”
“Thank you very much.”
They went inside and the two of them were silent for a moment settling in the kitchen. Geto took a seat on a bar stool pulled up to the breakfast bar at the edge of the kitchen.
He ran his hands through his hair before speaking, “How’s Y/N?”
Gojo pulled open his fridge and grabbed something to drink for both himself and Geto, “Healthy, tired of being pregnant. Tea or water? The fridge is kinda barren. I haven’t been here much.”
“Tea is fine, thanks,” he grabbed the bottle, “And the two of you?”
“Just friends with a baby on the way,” Gojo lamented. You hadn’t budged on that view at all.
Geto noticed the sadness on his friend’s features and felt compelled to keep talking, “It was never anything against her. This just kinda came out of nowhere. All of a sudden you were canceling spring break trips, and you never wanted to go out. It was a huge change for me too. It felt like I was getting left behind.”
“I get that it was a weird switch. Hell, it was weird for me. It honestly didn’t really hit me until I bought the new car that I’m going to be someone’s father. I’m gonna have a daughter that looks up to me for guidance, which seems like it should be illegal.”
“Yeah I was gonna say that. That feels really ill advised.”
Gojo chuckled, “But it’s happening. Y/N’s due any day now, and Shoko is all in on the aunt situation. It would be nice to have my best friend’s support.”
“After all this you still call me your best friend?”
Gojo shrugged. What else would Gojo call them. Sure they fought, and this wasn’t even their first fight or their ugliest. They fought but Geto would always be Gojo’s best friend. Nothing was going to change that.
Geto’s frown only deepened,“This is what makes me worry about you. Aren’t you mad at me?”
“Yes and no. You haven’t been supportive of me at all through this whole thing, but you didn’t make me go out, and you didn’t make me kiss that woman. Am I angry that it seems like I’m public enemy number one? No. I wanted to say yes there, but no it really doesn’t make me angry. I know how Nanami is about his wife, and how his wife is about Y/N, so I kinda expected that reaction. I just never expect you to be actively working against me the whole time.”
“And you should be angry about that.”
“But I’m not,” Gojo shrugged, “I’d really just like to have my best friend back. And I would like you to get onboard the baby train and to be nice to Y/N so that we don’t have to argue.”
Geto nodded he could manage that. The best thing about Gojo was the fact that he didn’t hold a grudge. If he was upset about something it usually lasted no more than 24 hours. Was it supremely annoying when Gojo was the one in the wrong and he felt like he should be forgiven within 24 hours or less? Absolutely. It was a fair trade though considering how easily he forgave, “So friends? That’s gotta be eating you alive.”
Gojo’s facade broke immediately. His shoulders sagged and he threw his head back in exhaustion, “It is! It’s killing me! She’s so hot all the time and I can barely even touch her now.”
Geto sat back and got ready to listen to his friend go on and on about you. Shoko had come by and smacked some sense into him. She was very convincing, and now sitting with Gojo he was happy that he came to squash this problem. It was obvious that Gojo was in love with you. And while Geto was sure that Gojo knew he liked you, he wasn’t entirely sure that he knew he was in love yet. He still spoke about it too casually. While Geto didn’t exactly have a problem with you, he didn’t appreciate that you were taking his friend away at first, and now he didn’t appreciate that you were stringing him along.
“You’re not going to like what I have to say to you,” Geto said when Gojo was done telling him about everything that had happened since their falling out.
“When do I ever?” Gojo grumbled.
“You deserve to be treated better. So you kissed someone else. The raw facts are you were not in a relationship. And I get it, she’s pregnant. She said some things that maybe she didn’t mean, but whether you mean it or not, words hold weight. I mean has she even apologized for that day?”
“Yes,” Gojo breathed, “she did. She said that she was sorry for the things she said, and for, you know, hurting me. And she’s even apologized for the way she reacted to the whole thing, it’s just not enough to change anything.”
Geto hummed thoughtfully, “But she’s not gonna make it hard for you to be with your daughter right? Because if Nanami’s talking about lawyering up, you can lawyer up too-”
“If Nanami actually told her that she’s not listening to him. We spend more time together now than we did before everything. The last thing on her mind is lawyers and custody battles. She’s sticking to her word. We’re friends who have a kid on the way.”
“Well, she always did strike me as a reasonable woman,” Geto grumbled.
Gojo was quiet for a moment and then he spoke in a far more serious tone than he had been, “Do you ever look at someone and just get the feeling that they’ve never been taken care of?”
Geto looked at Gojo and he almost laughed, “Yes.” And he was looking at that person right now.
“Sometimes it feels like she’s just waiting on me to give up. She’s got all of these safety nets and fail-safes, but she doesn’t need them because I’m not going anywhere. And I wish I could make her see that.”
“Time, it’ll take time,” Geto sighed, thinking of when he first became friends with Gojo. Gojo was eager for a friend but he always seemed to be waiting for Geto to get tired of him. Honestly, Geto didn’t know what to do with himself when he wasn’t talking to Gojo. It took time. It took a couple fights, and more than a few arguments, but eventually Gojo realized that Geto wasn’t going anywhere. This was by far the longest between talks but here they were, still friends.
~
Labor started for you early in the morning the next day. You were trying to make breakfast when the first contraction hit. You thought it was just another Braxton-Hicks but when you moved around the pain didn’t let up. But it subsided eventually so you continued about your morning routine. Then about 30 minutes later, there was another contraction. Gojo came over at around 10 to help you out for the day.
“Bookworm! Where are you?”
“Kitchen,” you said.
He went to the kitchen to find you rubbing your stomach with a pained look on your face, “What’s wrong?”
“I think I’m in early labor,” you breathed as the gripping pain released for the moment.
“You need to go to the hospital-”
“Satoru, remember, early labor can take up to 20 hours. It’s okay for us to hang out here until my water breaks, if it breaks.”
“Right, right, I knew that… does it hurt a lot.”
“It’s not awful. Just help me time them alright?”
He nodded dutifully. You finished up making your breakfast with Gojo hovering around you all the while.
“Do you want breakfast?” You asked because it felt rude not to offer him something. He shook his head.
“I’ll make my own, you should sit down.”
You could see that you were making him anxious, so you just took a seat. If he got anxious then you were going to get anxious, and that would make this whole process more stressful than it already was. The two of you had a birth plan. You would call your obstetrician after breakfast.
“What did you do last night after you left?” you asked trying to keep up the conversation.
“Oh um, Suguru was at my house when I pulled up so we talked.”
You hummed, “Did the two of you make up?”
“Yeah, we kinda did I guess.”
“That’s good. I didn’t like the idea of you in that big house alone. Hopefully, he’ll be around more often.”
“I didn’t think you liked Suguru.”
“Suguru didn’t like me. I had no thoughts about him.”
“Fair, that’s fair. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“I’m fine,” you assured, before changing the subject again, “I saw your tweet when I woke up this morning. The ‘free my homie, baby gojo’ one.”
He smiled sheepishly, “She looked trapped in there. It’s still so weird when I can see her foot move across your belly.”
“It feels even weirder, I promise,” you chuckled, “But can I ask you to keep her face off your social media when she’s born? You are a bit of a microcelebrity, and I don’t want my baby lined right up with your thirst traps, at least not for a while.”
“I can agree to that,” Gojo nodded with a chuckle.
“Thank you. Thank you for everything really, um I know we only talked about it briefly but I’m actually really nervous about labor. Mortality rate for black women is high and if I don’t-”
“Don’t finish that sentence. Nothing’s going to happen to you, because I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I haven’t won you over yet. You can’t leave me,” he smiled at you, obviously trying to lighten the mood.
You took the bait and laughed, “Right. I’m not done suffering on Earth yet.”
When you were done with breakfast you gave your OB/GYN a call. She told you that it was fine to stay in your home until your water broke, or until your contractions were 5 minutes apart, lasted for 1 minute and stayed like that for an hour. Gojo suggested that the two of you watch a movie you’d both seen before, just for something to focus on as he timed your contractions and you breathed through them. You didn’t even mind how close the two of you were. The birthing classes made you accustomed to sitting between his legs while his hands were on your stomach. You rested back against him, head on his shoulder as the pain made it hard to think about anything else. Sometimes you managed to get winks of sleep. You ate light meals, and walked around when it felt like that would help. Eventually, you had Gojo tell your friends and mom that you were in the early stages of labor.
“Should we come over?” Nanami asked. He was on speaker phone so you could hear.
“No, no, more people are just going to aggravate me. Satoru’s got me. I’m okay,” you answered. You missed the way Gojo looked at you when you said that. It was the truth of course, you would be okay and he would see to it.
“Alright, well, keep us as updated as you can alright? I don’t care what time it is.”
“Sure thing,” Gojo answered. Before dark, Gojo set upon getting the car seat in his car so that the two of you would be good to go when it was time.
It was late when the two of you were leaving. Your water broke while you were up pacing the floor. You were waiting for an hour to pass in your current contraction time window. You were starting to have them every five minutes, but an hour hadn’t passed yet. Gojo loaded you up in his SUV with your go-bag and you were off to give birth. As fate would have it, even once you got into the sprawling delivery room that Gojo paid for, baby Gojo still wasn’t ready to come out. Gojo was there rubbing your stomach and your back as you moved around the room.Sure, you oscillated between wanting to be touched and needing to move around, but once you got the order to stay in bed you were absolutely curled up in his arms, groaning as each contraction hit. He wished he could enjoy the closeness, but in all actuality, seeing you in so much pain had him out of his mind with worry. All he could do was hold on to you.
He didn’t understand how any man could put a woman through this and not take care of her. Either they weren’t there to see it in real time or they just didn’t care about her suffering. He cared so deeply that you were suffering. There was nothing he could do to take that away from you.
“I’m never getting pregnant again,” you whimpered to him in the grips of another contraction.
“That seems totally fair, sweetheart. I’m gonna take such good care of you and this baby after this. You’ll want for nothing.”
You tucked your face away in his neck as you tried to bear the pain. Gojo was almost more relieved than you when it was time for you to receive your epidural. It took a little while to do its job. He knew it was working when you relaxed a bit in his arms. It was maybe another 15 minutes before they proclaimed that you were fully dilated. Gojo had to leave to put on scrubs since he was going to be there for the delivery. He kissed your forehead before leaving. All of it was more than a little surreal, putting on the thin blue scrubs, and the hair cap, going back into the room to hear you crying. It made his heart drop a bit.
“Hey, you’re okay,” Gojo shushed you as he came back to your side.
“I wanna push,” you whined to him.
Before he could turn and talk to the nurse, your doctor came in ready for action. The nurses around her moved with practiced efficiency. It all moved in a blur. Gojo leaned over the bed to hold you. One arm over your shoulders, and you held his other hand.
“Alright, mom, don’t forget your breathing. Dad, show her how it’s done,” you doctor, Dr. Johnson said to him.
He did remember that part, “Match your breathing with mine, baby,” he started doing the breathing exercises that you’d both learned in the birthing classes.
“I can’t,” you whined at him, “I wanna push.”
“Look at me,” he coaxed and you turned your head, “Breathe.”
You forced yourself to match his breathing. Things didn’t exactly hurt, but they didn’t feel good either.
“Oh you’re perfectly dilated, hon,” Dr. Johnson said. Her voice barely even registered at first, “Alright on the count of three you’re gonna give us a big push.”
“You can do it,” Gojo spoke in your ear, “You’ve got this.”
You just shook your head, trying to focus on your breathing.
“You got this, sweetheart.”
And then you were pushing. It wasn’t like the movies. It wasn’t three good pushes and then you were done. It felt like you spent hours pushing, trying to bring this baby into the world. There were tears streaming down your face, and you were sweating from the exertion. There were only two things you could focus on: Your doctor telling you to push, and Gojo in your ear urging you on. And despite the fact that it felt like hours of pushing when Dr. Johnson said she could see the crown of the baby. It seemed to take no time at all. You were eager to push, ready to get this baby out of you and to officially meet your first born.
Your baby was born at 4:33 AM on October 13. You fell back into Gojo’s arms when it was all over, breathing heavily and crying tears of relief. As long as you lived you were never having another baby, it was all you could think as Gojo kissed your cheek.
“You did it, mama,” he said to you softly as he hugged you close. A second later you heard the loud cry of your baby. A nurse came over with your baby and asked Gojo to pull down your gown a bit so you could be skin to skin with your baby. You were eager to get her in your arms, and the very moment she touched you, your body reacted, easily sitting up to hold her close. Gojo was truly startled by how quickly you went from being a heavy weight in his arms to sitting up and holding the baby. The attending nurse cleaned both you and the baby up while she was on your chest. After that, they encourage you to try to breastfeed. It was a bit of a struggle at first to get her to latch on, but when she did everything seemed to be going smoothly. The nurse put a little pink hat on your baby’s head and then covered you both with a warm blanket.
“We’ll give them about an hour to bond before we move them to get them fully cleaned up,” the nurse explained to Gojo.
He nodded without looking away from the baby. She didn’t really look like either of you really, except for one feature that was all him. She had a patch of white hair, right in the front of her head. It was a sizable patch. He remembered learning that his own hair had caused quite a stir in the hospital, but it was just a weird genetic thing. It never caused him any problems with his health. He hoped it was the same with her. She was born with a head full of hair, though it appeared almost molded to her head in ocean-like waves. Despite being fresh out of womb… she was probably the most beautiful baby he’d ever seen. He reached out to tentatively touch her cheek with the side of his finger.
You looked up then, only now remembering that Gojo was even there. His eyes were full of tears when you looked at him, which only made them more startlingly blue.
“We made a pretty baby, Satoru,” you squeaked, because you’d been crying for some time now, and your voice was the first thing to go.
“We did. She’s perfect,” he agreed.
The hour passed by quickly and you were sad to have them take her out of your arms.
“I know, mama,” the nurse said to you with a smile as she picked your baby up, “It’ll be just for a second, and Dad can even come with us while they get you cleaned up.”
You looked at Gojo and nodded for him to go. You felt fine. It would be nice to get cleaned up a bit. Still, being separated from her, even for a short time, felt like torture. You were happy when they wheeled you into the recovery room. The nurse helped you back into bed and you saw Gojo sitting in the recliner right next to the bed with your baby. He stood and gave her back to you the moment you opened your arms.
“If you two need anything just press that button. Someone will be in soon to get a name for the birth certificate.”
Gojo answered because you were too enamored with the baby to pay attention to anything said to you. When the nurse left you scooted over a bit in bed to allow Gojo room.
“What do you think?” you asked and your voice was soft and warm. It was a tone he rarely heard these days, a tone of love.
“She’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen”
You giggled, “I meant her name. Do we have a Celine on our hands?”
He smiled, “Oh yeah. She can pull off a name like Celine.”
“Celine Hoshiko Gojo then. The most perfect girl in the world,” you cooed rubbing her cheeks.
Gojo tried to swallow the lump in his throat but couldn’t quite manage to do it. This baby was his family now. He was looking at his daughter. She was so small even in your arms.
After a while, you let out a weary sigh, “Oof, that second wind wore off quickly. How are you doing, papa? Can you take her off my hands?” You weren’t truly that exhausted but you wanted him to have a chance to hold her for longer than a couple of minutes.
“I’ve never been more awake in my life,” he laughed.
You began to put her in his arms, and your heart squeezed to see just how small she looked in his arms. He made her look miniscule. You rested your cheek against his arm as you looked at her.
“Thank you,” Gojo said, audibly choked up. You looked up at him with wide eyes, “Thank you for giving me a baby. I swear I’ll take care of you both.”
You thought you were done crying but the tears came immediately, “I know, Satoru. I know. You’ve already taken such good care of us.” You kissed his arm and then squished your cheek against it again.
You fell asleep without much say in the matter and you woke up to the baby crying. It was deeply disorienting. It felt like you’d only slept a wink, but when you opened your eyes, the room was significantly brighter with the light from the sun.
“I guess that’s my new alarm,” you grumbled sleepily.
“Yeah, I don’t think she needs changing or anything, she’s probably just hungry,” Gojo said softly, but you could see the anxiety in his facial expression. His eyebrows were pushed together in distress.
“Come to mama, Celine. My little sweetie,” you cooed as Gojo carefully walked over. You were taking your arm out of your sleeve, ready to breastfeed. It took a few tries but eventually she was properly latched on.”
Gojo let out a sigh of relief now that she was quiet, “A lot happened while you were sleeping… and while you were half asleep. Do you remember signing the birth certificate?”
Your eyes widened, “No.”
“Yeah, I doubted you would. You were out of it. I made sure everything was right. But they wanted to be sure her white hair wasn’t anything to be worried about… and then we learned that she has blue eyes which I’m sure you know how genetically unlikely that is.”
You looked down at her. Celine’s eyes were closed but now you were deeply curious.
“They did a quick hearing and sight test and she seems all good… I think it’s just my gift to her,” he chuckled.
“We really didn’t need that paternity test huh?” you laughed looking down to see her white patch of hair.
“No, definitely my kid,” he laughed, “I also told everyone that both you and Celine are healthy. Your mom said she would be here soon. She might be here at the same time as Nanami and Janelle.”
“You’ve been busy,” you said, “Thank you.”
“I was too excited to feel tired.”
“You should get some sleep, Satoru. You’ll have to drive us home and I want you to be alert.”
He nodded, “I’ll see if I can catch a few winks.”
“I’ve got a sleep mask in my bag.”
It wasn’t long before Gojo was knocked out in the recliner. He looked every bit like a real dad with the chair kicked all the way back. You were a little upset that you didn’t have your phone readily available to snap a picture. You kept your eyes on Celine. Her facial features were more apparent. She looked quite a bit like Gojo, you realized with a little bit of chagrin, but you could see your own features. She had your lips, and your cheekbones. The shape of her head was all you and her nose was a bit too wide to be all Gojo.
There was a knock on the door an hour or so later, when Celine was no longer feeding, and instead the two of you were just cuddling.
“Come in,” you called, trying to keep quiet since both Gojo and Celine were sleeping. The door opened and you saw your mother first. You put your finger up to your lips so she wouldn’t be loud. Right behind her was Janelle and Nanami. Nanami was holding a gift bag with a bunch of balloons clipped to it. He also had a bouquet of your favorite flowers. Your mother came over to the side that Celine wasn’t on to give you a side hug.
“Oh look at my grandbaby,” she gasped.
“Why is he sleeping?” Nanami grumbled.
“Hush,” you said as he came over to hug you, “He’s been up since yesterday. I’m the only one who’s gotten any sleep.”
Nanami hummed but obviously wasn’t convinced in the slightest. “I bet you haven’t put that baby down since she got here. You’re going to spoil her,” Your mom said.
“Then she’ll be spoiled,” you said ambivalently, “Satoru doesn’t have those big biceps for nothing. When I can’t hold her, he will.”
You noticed Janelle giving you a proud smile as she came over to hug you, “Studies show that holding a baby, especially for skin-to-skin contact has nothing but benefits for both parent and child.”
There were plenty of chairs in the room. Gojo had seen to it that you were in a luxury room, big enough to support your little family. You passed Celine to your mother first after she washed and dried her hands.
“Oh my god,” Janelle laughed, “That is Satoru’s twin. Look at the white little swoop. Y/N, did you sit here and give this baby finger waves?”
You laughed at that, she did look like Betty Boop with her wavy hair, “I swear she was born like that.” That white curl peeked out of her little hat, it was her own little signature look.
“She looks like you, too,” your mother insisted, “Especially when you were a baby.”
They graciously passed her around, everyone cooing and fawning over her. Nanami was more interested in checking in with you first. One of the bags was specifically for you and it had things you’d need for a little bit of pampering post baby. When it was his turn to hold Celine you got to watch him immediately soften with her in his arms. He looked at you with wide eyes.
“She’s so small,” he breathed.
“I know. I feel cheated, I can’t believe this little thing had me that round. It felt like I was carrying around a cinder block.”
Nanami smiled as he fixed her little hat on her head, “I think she looks more like you, thank God.”
You scoffed, “Satoru’s handsome.”
“That I am, mama,” he said. You looked over to see him alert, though still a bit tired looking. The sleep mask was acting like a headband on his head. You flipped him off instead of responding.
“I thought you were sleeping, eavesdropper.”
“I was, but then I sensed Nanamin holding my baby. She’s the best thing I ever had a hand in making, huh?” He posed the question to Nanami.
“Yes, I suppose she is,” Nanami agreed with a heavy sigh. It looked as if it pained him to pay Gojo any kind of compliment.
“And you immediately love her. I know, she gets that trait from me.”
Nanami just pulled in a deep breath and purposefully turned to look at you, “You did fantastic work on this baby. It is the best baby I’ve ever seen.”
“Thank you, Kento. Hopefully she won’t keep that title from you for long, because you and Janelle are gonna give her a god sister.”
“Why would we do that when you’ve already popped a baby out for us to steal?” Janelle grinned, stepping over to look at Celine. Her words were one thing, but the look in her eye was another. They’d be having a baby soon. Everyone stayed until you started getting sleepy again, then they gracefully saw their way out. Gojo took Celine back in his arms. He snapped a picture of her because this was an important memory he wanted to have.
You were still sleeping when Shoko and Geto came in. They knocked softly first before Gojo told them to come in. Shoko was grinning eagerly. She was in a lab coat which meant she probably snuck up to the maternity ward on her break to come visit. Geto looked a bit more tentative. His eyes immediately went to you where you were sleeping with the covers pulled up to your chin. You looked peaceful at least. Shoko came over first to look at the little bundle of joy.
“Oh the little white curl. Satoru, I’m going to go broke getting this little girl whatever she wants,” Shoko groaned.
Geto went over to Gojo’s other side. He felt his heart soften as he looked at the sleeping baby, “Shoko’s right. She’s going to be spoiled.”
“Absolutely,” Gojo agreed, “I’m supposed to tell this little face no? Impossible. I’ve barely had her a day and swear to God, I’d trade all of you and the entire world for her in an instant.”
“I get it. I’d lay down my life right here, right now.”
“If you wash your hands you can hold her,” Gojo offered.
When you woke up it was because people were laughing. You cracked your eyes open to see Shoko, Gojo, and Geto sitting close to each other on the sofa on the far side of the room. Geto was holding Celine, and he was actually smiling about it, which made you feel a little better about him holding your baby. It’s not that you disliked Geto, it was just obvious to you that he didn’t care for you much.
“Uncle Geto’s going to be your favorite,” he cooed at her, “You won’t even care about your father or your Aunt Shoko.”
“In your dreams,” Gojo snorted, “This is a total daddy’s girl we’re looking at. We’ve even got matching outfits ready to go.”
You chose not to say anything, instead you just let yourself feel warmed by the fact that there were so many people eager to have a baby in their lives. People always said that it took a village to raise a child. All in all, you thought you had a pretty good village of people. Gojo happened to look up and he saw you awake.
“How are you feeling, mama?”
“My whole body is sore… but I’m happy.”
When it was time for you to go home you were grateful. You’d put in a lot of work to get your home comfortable enough to support a newborn and you wanted to utilize all the cool baby stuff. You sat in the backseat with Celine while Gojo drove to the house. You just couldn’t bear to be without her sweet little face. Gojo carried her into the house with a baby blanket over her pumpkin seat to protect her from the slight chill in the air. Taking her into the house was a little surreal. It was hitting you in waves that you were a mom now. You were Celine’s mother. She was so small, and save the times when she needed changing or to be fed, she didn’t fuss much.
Gojo took her out of the pumpkin seat and held her close, “Do you want to clean up a little, mama? I’ve got her covered.”
“Sure, um… this could be a good time for you to get some skin to skin. It’s really good for bonding,” you said gently.
“That’s a good idea.” You nodded a little to yourself. You showered the night prior in the hospital but showering in an unfamiliar place never really made you feel clean. Being in your own home, in your own shower would be much better.
Gojo set her back in her pumpkin seat for safekeeping, before he took off his own shirt, and then her little onesie so they could have skin to skin bonding. The house was warm, but he still put a little blanket over her just to be safe. He wasn’t sure what the science behind it all was but the moment he held her close like that he knew he was done for. He loved this infant more than his own laugh. She had him wrapped around her tiny fingers. Anything she ever wanted would be hers, and he wanted to spend every day with her. He could hear her steady breathing and the sound of it brought him more peace than anything in this world ever has.
“I love you so much already,” Gojo breathed, hugging her very gently.
When you got out of the shower all was still quiet in the house which was a good sign, “Are you two still downstairs?”
“Nursery,” Gojo called.
The nursery was right next to the bedroom. He was adorably rumpled looking. He looked like someone was doing an editorial shoot for sleepless fathers. No one had any right to be this handsome when he’d only gotten a couple of hours of sleep in a hospital recliner.
“You look beat, Satoru,” you said as you came over to move his hair out of his face. He looked up from Celine to look up at you with a serene yet tired smile.
“I don’t even care. She’s so perfect. You made the perfect baby.”
You fought against the urge to kiss him. He looked so happy, and his smile was just so beautiful. It would be nothing to lean down and kiss him. He’d been there every step of the way, when you thought you weren’t going to make it… but a choice like that was messy and you’d already messed up once. Celine was here now. You couldn’t afford mistakes.
The two of you spent the whole day fawning over her, barely remembering to feed yourselves as you attended to Celine. Well Gojo remembered to feed you and in turn you fussed at him about eating too. Nightfall came and you were both dead on your feet but Celine was asleep in her crib, carefully swaddled after both you and Gojo struggled to wrap the blanket correctly for an hour and a half.
Gojo turned on the baby monitor and the two of you left the room as quietly as possible. When the two of you were out and a good ways away from the room Gojo turned to you. He shoved his hands in his pockets, “Well, it’s getting late… if you need-”
“You can stay,” you said hastily, “uh… if you want. If you want to stay tonight you can. The guest room has a bed and I uh think I still have some of your clothes in my drawers. I’m sorry. That’s weird-”
“No,” it was his turn to cut you off, “no, that’s perfect. I didn’t really want to go.”
You huffed a little laugh before nodding once, “I’ll go find your clothes and some linen for the bed.
Chapter 9: It’s your baby shower and while you celebrate your baby with family friends you are forced to confront some of the feelings you have for Gojo.
At 32 weeks, it was hard to do a lot of things, namely put on shoes. You’d managed to get on your dress for today, and to do your own hair and makeup, but shoes were difficult because you could not see your feet. The comfortable flats you wanted to wear were already downstairs but they did not slide on easily. It was your own fault honestly. Maybe you should have gotten easier to put on shoes. While you struggled there was a knock on your front door. You took your feet out of the shoes to go to the door. Gojo stood there looking blindingly bright in the sun. He really shouldn’t be allowed to wear white on top of having white hair and pale skin. It was hell on your retinas.
“What are you doing here?” You asked as you stared at him.
“Nanamin asked me to pick you up. He’s tied up with things at the venue. He seemed annoyed.”
You frowned. You could have driven yourself. However, your belly was even bigger now and everyone was adamant about you not driving more than was absolutely necessary. You went to and from work, and other than that, you were a passenger. You tried defying that rule once and Nanami found out. He made you feel every bit like a scolded child. He was just waiting on your porch with a menacing glare when you came back. It was terrifying. But… in a small way it was a comfort to have people care so much about your safety.
“Don’t look like that, mama. You can’t miss your special day… why don’t you have shoes on? I was told you would be ready.”
Your face felt hot with embarrassment, “I was having trouble. I can’t really bend over with the belly and my balance isn’t right to stand on one foot.”
He huffed a little laugh, “I’ll put on your shoes for you, come on.”
You led the way over to the front room, where you’d left your shoes. You sat down on the sofa and Gojo got down on one knee to put them on you.
“How do you get ready for work? Hm, Cinderella?” he asked in jest.
You fought the urge to kick him, “My shoes slide on.”
“Ah, these are just a bit more complicated with the ankle strap. They won’t get too tight will they?”
“Not if you do them loosely.”
Gojo was dressed not as casually as usual. He’d put on a crisp white button up for the occasion. It had three buttons undone at the top, letting a bit of his tattoos show. It was tucked into black pants that he actually wore a belt with. You didn’t think Gojo owned clothes that didn’t ultimately show off his dick, ass, arms, or tits. Sometimes his outfits did all three. This was respectable… though you realized as he bent his elbow maybe this was just a different flavor of slutty. The way his biceps made the fabric of his sleeve fill to maximum capacity was particularly eye catching. You turned your head away. If you wanted all of this to work with minimum upset then you had to keep your word. You couldn’t ogle Gojo because you didn’t do that to friends. One could also argue that you didn’t have kids with friends, but you were going to ignore that method of thinking because you certainly did. To be fair, he wasn’t your friend back then he was a stranger… which actually made it worse.
“All done, mama,” he said before standing back up to his full height. He offered his hands to help you stand back up and you took them. He pulled you up gently and really took the time to admire you.
Of course he noticed your beauty when you opened the door. Your dress was white and made of lace. There was, of course, a silky fabric under the lace to preserve your modesty, but Gojo got lost looking at your chest. The neckline of the dress was wide starting a few inches away from the edge of your shoulder and meeting between your breasts. It looked as if your boobs were looking for a way to burst forth. They were… plump. He couldn’t think of a better word. The only other thing that came to mind was the phrase “supple heaving breasts” and that was no better.
You looked down at your boobs when you saw him staring, “Am I leaking?” you asked frantically lifting your neckline to look down your dress, which gave him the same view because he stood over you. Gojo sharply averted his gaze.
“Uh leaking?”
“My boobs, I’ve been leaking. I just think they’re full and-” You lifted your head slowly to glare at him. His face was flushed and he was looking anywhere but down at you, “Oh you pervert. Stop looking at my boobs.”
“They look nice. I can’t help it. Come on, let’s go before we’re late. Do you have everything you need?”
“I just have to grab my purse.”
Gojo watched you waddle away. You’d adopted a pregnant waddle and it was probably the cutest thing he’d ever seen. It was going to be the death of him. How was he supposed to carry on casually when you were both hot and adorable? His heart would give out he was sure. Once you were out and loaded into the car Gojo took a steadying breath. Shoko advised him on how to handle today.
“Be kind, be helpful, don’t do anything stupid. You’re still very much in the dog house. You shouldn’t be talking about sex or even allowing yourself to think of sex with her.”
He was already breaking the last part. It was the only thing he could think about as you sat beside him. You were only getting more beautiful. The natural glow you had was bordering on ethereal and it was completely mesmerizing to look at. He tried to keep his eyes strictly on the road, but he failed often.
Your baby shower was at a place where people often enjoyed high tea but it was known for its greenhouse. It was an extremely beautiful venue with a room especially for parties. You weren’t expecting a lot of guests, however you also didn’t know the guest list that well. Honestly the extent of your involvement with planning this thing went down to… telling your mom around how many people to make a cake for. After that it was all Janelle, Nanami, and maybe a bit of Gojo especially considering how much a place like this must have cost to occupy. When you walked in there was a host at the door who, upon learning your name, quickly whisked you past the ritzy little cafe area. It was the end of August and you were grateful that he did not take you outside. You ran a bit warm with weight gain, and of course the natural exertion of lugging around this baby. You would be able to stand the August heat. The moment you were in the room you were overwhelmed by the sight of the gardens outside of the huge windows. There were also plenty of green leafy plants around, vines climbing up the ceiling. It was truly a sight to behold.
Nanami spotted both you and Gojo walking in, and paused in his conversation with Janelle so they could both come over and greet you. Nanami looked as put together as always, thought his reading glasses were perched on his nose at the moment. It was rare to see him just sporting those. Janelle had a on a sage green sundress that you thought fit in with the venue just fine. She looked a little frazzled, but not at her wits end which was a good sign.
Janelle hugged you first, “Hey, look at you, you’re so beautiful my goodness. We’ve got a little bit before people start coming in. We should get some pictures of you here and in the garden.”
“You guys got access to the garden too?” you asked, looking from Janelle to Nanami.
“Yes it was included. We don’t quite need that much space, but it’s not a big deal. It will keep people from feeling crowded at the very least.” Nanami hugged you then, “What about you? Gojo didn’t upset you did he?”
Gojo rolled his eyes. You shook your head. No, Gojo hadn’t upset you in any way that he could control. He couldn’t really help it that the sight of him made your chest ache. That was something you’d either have to get used to or just hope it went away on its own.
“Well good. You do like very nice, Y/N. The big throne is for you,” Nanami nodded towards the huge wicker chair with plenty of plush looking cushions in it.
“Come on, I’ll start taking pictures.”
Gojo stood out of the way for a bit, mostly watching you smile for the pictures that Janelle took. They started inside and then the two of you ventured outside briefly so that you could take pictures with the colorful flowers out there. He wondered if he could talk Janelle into sending a few his way. He wanted a new phone background. With that thought he realized, with a start, that he’d left his phone in his car.
“I need to run to my car really quickly. I’ll be back,” Gojo said to Nanami.
“Take your time.”
His phone was still on the dock in his car and he had a few messages from Shoko, but she was trying to figure out if she should be sticking to some kind of theme for clothing. It had ended with her saying nevermind so she must have figured it out for herself. While he was coming back he noticed a woman who looked an awful lot like your mother in the parking lot. As he got closer, it confirmed his suspicions. He called out to her and she turned.
“Oh thank god, I need help,” she breathed.
“I can see that,” Gojo chuckled, “What are you trying to do?”
“I’ve got these balloons, my presents for the baby, all of these game materials and prizes, and then the cake.
“Okay, I can take the cake since that’s the biggest,” Gojo went around the car to grab the sheet cake in the backseat.
“That’s what was giving me the most trouble. Thanks so much for your help. I don’t know why I didn’t just call in there and get someone to help me out.”
Gojo let out an ironic little laugh, so you got that trait from your mother. At least your mom could accept help when it was offered. As the two walked towards the venue they made easy small talk. Your mother seemed far more sociable than you, at least at the moment. It seemed like your mom liked him at the very least.
When they got inside you were just coming in from the garden to take a seat.
“Oh it’s so beautiful in here,” your mom breathed. Nanami came over and started taking things out of her hands. He instructed Gojo on where to put the cake.
Your mom went straight over to you, “Oh you look gorgeous, but you look like you’re about to pop.”
“I feel like I’m about to pop. I can’t believe I have to go through another full month of this,” you complained, “My back is always killing me.”
“You know my back has been hurting lately,” your mother began which was her preamble to sitting down beside you and talking about herself for a while. This was not surprising, but it never stopped being annoying. She did this often, which was why you did not confide in her often. She didn’t know that you and Gojo were not on the best of terms because you didn’t want to hear her talk about her relationship with her baby daddy the whole time. She had the uncanny ability to make your problems about her, even if she’d never been through anything like the situation you were explaining. You did not go to your mom for someone to confide in. You delivered facts of your life and sometimes she had relevant advice. Moreover, you served as your mother’s confidant more often than not and had since you were quite young. You recalled, ruefully, being seven and worried about bills when you were in school because your mother had dumped all of her worries on you. As she talked, you examined how you felt and decided you never wanted your child to feel this way. Sure, you were aware of the wicked ways of this world young, but that was not exactly a good thing. Sometimes you felt robbed of a true childhood. You’d started planning for the worst case scenario early on. You stopped expecting much for holidays and special occasions because you knew your mother couldn’t afford it, and while that was the mature thing to do, you always felt robbed of being able to express your emotions about it. You knew too much.
“Auntie,” Janelle called, “stop hogging her. I want to hear about the baby. Your due date is in October right?”
Janelle saved you from the endless stream of listening to your mother’s problems during your baby shower. You were grateful, this was why you didn’t call your mom often. She had a lot of problems, and she liked to detail them all to you regardless of what you wanted to talk about. Before long other people were coming in. There were friends both you and Janelle kept in touch with, family you were sure your mother had a hand in inviting, a few coworkers of yours. Gojo and Nanami greeted a very serious looking man with a goatee. When Gojo finally got around to introducing the two of you, he told you he was his high school teacher and they still kept in touch. Shoko came in with a bunch of bags which was not something you foresaw. She’d never been rude to you, but you also didn’t think she was so excited about the baby. You saw her come in but got distracted by people coming to talk to you.
Gojo came over and helped her with the four big gift bags she had, taking him to the gift table for her, “What all did you get, Shoko?”
“You’ll see,” she said with a small smile. “How are things with Y/N?”
“We’re… friends?” Gojo had to put a sort of questioning tone on his words because he wasn’t exactly sure he could honestly call you a friend, not when he so badly wanted to be something else to you.
“That’s good, that’s progress,” Shoko’s eyes strayed to you and her jaw dropped a little, “Goddamn she’s hot. Maybe I should stop helping you out and take her on myself.”
“I’m telling your girlfriend you said that.”
“She’d understand, and she’d agree. Do I have a chance? Is she bi? Pan?”
“You don’t have a chance because she’s the mother of my child. You already have a girlfriend, don’t be greedy.”
“I gotta say I’ve never been particularly taken with your usual type but good grief if you fumble her I might have to pick her up.”
Gojo stepped in the way of Shoko’s sight of you, “Please spare me. I know she’s hot. I can barely look at her and keep it together.”
Shoko blinked, as if coming out of trance, “Uh, is Suguru coming?”
“Doubt it.”
“Look I really don’t think it’s anything against her. You two used to be about the same things, and I think it’s taking him a while to adjust to the fact that you can’t be party-Gojo anymore. I think he’ll come around though.” She pat the side of his arm reassuringly.
You were across the room absolutely suffering. Your mom’s aunt was giving you a lecture about being pregnant out of wedlock. She was sugar coating it, making it hard to be angry without looking like the bad guy. You told your mother not to invite too many people. Within 20 minutes, you’d heard 3 different people make a “joke” about how the “perfect one” finally messed up. It was starting to get to you.
“Do you know who your baby daddy is?” One of your cousins asked. You weren’t one to judge, but you felt like she should talk to you nicer given that she had 4 kids from 3 different men.
“Yes. He’s here,” you answered before looking for Gojo.
He was actually already coming your way, curious about your family and the way that they were crowded around you.
“Satoru,” you called, and they turned to look at him. He wasn’t really paying attention to the way they received him. He was internally swooning at the way you said his name.
“What’s up, mama?” he asked, and even he could pick out the adoration in his tone. You were just so cute and round, he couldn’t help it.
“This is him.”
“This is me,” he responded, passing you a plate of food and a bottle of water.
“Oh thank you.”
“Mmhm. Who am I meeting?”
“Oh this is my Aunt Glo and her daughters Tori, and Ness. They were asking if I even knew who my baby daddy was,” you answered, pretending not to care much about them trying to make you feel small at your own baby shower. You could give Gojo this much, his hotness spoke for himself. Now anyone who knew him could rightfully give you a little side eye, but from the outside he was perfect, handsome, tall, funny, successful. It would be hard for your family to pick that apart.
“Hey, I’m Satoru, it’s nice to meet you all.”
“Nice to meet you too. We’ve never heard about you before.”
“You know Y/N don’t have people in her business like that,” Your mom jumped in, she seemed to have realized the uncomfortable situation she’d created.
“Right, right. And what do you do?”
You smiled to yourself as you put a whole deviled egg in your mouth.
“Oh, I’m Satoru Gojo, I’m the primary owner Gojo Industries and all of its conglomerates.”
Your aunt blinked then looked at you and you just smiled.
“Well why haven’t you married my niece yet?”
“I’m trying, ma’am, but she’s so stubborn,” he laughed, putting a hand on your shoulder, “But I can’t blame her I guess. I’m willing to do whatever it takes though to win her over.”
He smiled as he said this and despite your own mortification at his admission, you were quite smug that they no longer had anything to talk down on you about. When they dispersed, Gojo took the chair at your side.
“I get the feeling they were looking for a way to tear you apart.”
You hummed, “You’re more perceptive than I give you credit for.”
He shrugged, “I know the feeling.”
“I’m the good one. Nevermind that I’m a grown adult with a career, as far as they are concerned this is a life ruining failure on my part. They’ve been waiting for me to mess up.”
“I also know the feeling of that. Though, I would argue that you’re doing quite well for yourself.”
“I would too. Thank you for bringing me food. Have you had any?”
“Oh yeah, that’s what I was doing while I was away. Everything is delicious of course, but I’m waiting for your mom to cut that cake.”
You chuckled, “Me too, honestly.”
You were trying the whole friend thing. It was easier, because you actually found Gojo quite funny, but every now and again when you would get comfortable talking to him you would remember that night and you feel upset all over again. Shoko came over once your family stopped their round of pot shots at you. She was there.
She gave a low wolf whistle, “Hello, Y/N. Look, you were always gorgeous but you look like a goddess today.”
“Thank you, Shoko,” you smiled, feeling your face heat up at the way she was looking at you and her compliments.
Gojo glared at her, completely unamused by her flirtations.
“You know I’m a doctor and my girlfriend is a software engineer, we wouldn’t mind someone pretty to take care of.”
“Shoko,” Gojo said between gritted teeth.
Shoko raised an eyebrow at him, “What? She’s a beautiful single woman and I’m poly. I see no problem here,” she turned her gaze back to you before speaking again, “If you need anything, anything at all, call me. Doctor’s orders.” She bit her lip as she passed you her card. You looked at the card, utterly surprised by her boldness, but not at all mad at it. She was obviously teasing Gojo who was glaring at her as she went over to grab more snacks and talk to Nanami.
“Is her girlfriend hot?” You asked Gojo, just because you knew it would get under his skin.
Gojo just shrugged, “I only have eyes for you.”
You scoffed, “Okay, whatever you say.”
Gojo excused himself and you were a little relieved to be free of his proximity. Something about him being so close still warmed you, it made you want him in ways that you really shouldn’t, considering. And when you started thinking like that, your brain was good at reminding you of the way it had felt like your heart quite literally split in two that night. Gojo was good at selling a fantasy, and playing make-believe. Just because it worked on everyone else, did not mean it had to work on you. That being said he was still hot as hell, and it was fucking with you.
“Hey, Y/N!” Janelle called, but she sounded as if she’d already said your name a few times. You turned to look at her.
“Yes?”
“Are you ready for gifts?”
“Oh sure,” you agreed, “Do we need to start wrapping this up?”
“No. You just have a lot of gifts.”
You turned to look at the gift table and noticed it overflowing with cutesy bags. She was right, if you wanted enough time to see everything and make your announcement. Gojo came back with a slice of cake for you.
“Your mom told me to bring this to you,” he explained.
Your eyes were wide with joy, “Thank you. Your baby has me craving sweets like no other.”
In spite of all of your venom, it still made his heart flutter when you called the baby his. It was such a silly thing to get sentimental over, but you said it so casually. For a second he could pretend that things were like they were before. You shoveled cake in your mouth while you watched Gojo and Janelle move the presents over to you. When they were finished you handed your empty plate off to Gojo and got ready to look through gifts. Everyone was staring at you, which made you feel like you had to put on a show. You exaggerated your facial expressions for some things. You two wouldn’t need to buy pampers for a while. A good bulk of the gifts were from Kento and Janelle. And they had all of the sweet sentimental stuff. Janelle had knitted a baby blanket, and crocheted a stuffed animal. Nanami set up a college fund in a bank with a 5% return on savings deposits which was a very him gift to give, but he’d also been behind a good amount of the baby clothes, and a few things for you. He loaded you up with tea blends for all kinds of ailments, and the descriptions were written on nice cardstock in his neat handwriting.
“Thank you both. This means a lot to me,” you said genuinely.
Then you went through the other gifts. They were generic but useful and you thanked the people behind them accordingly. Your mother’s gift made you tear up. She had gifted you the memory book. It was already pretty sizable and filled with your memories up until 4. There was a new section for your baby ready to start.
“It’ll get bigger and bigger over the generations,” She said tearfully. Within the book were pictures with family, your mother’s thoughts about you as you grew up, it was a truly beautiful thing that you would cherish and use the very moment you could.
You weren’t really expecting anything from Gojo, obviously so you were surprised when he gave you a little gift bag.
“It’s just a little something special for you, mama.”
You eyed him as you reached into the bag. You felt a long flat velvet box, which ruled out the possibility of a ring, thank god. But it was definitely jewelry.You grabbed the box and lifted the lid to reveal what was probably the most beautiful piece of jewelry you’d ever seen. It was a sun, moon, and star all on one pendant. on a delicate looking gold chain. Just looking at all of the diamonds on the pendant, and feeling the weight of the pendant in your hand, you knew that it was an extremely expensive gift.
“A small token of my appreciation, for giving me a baby,” he said to you.
Your face was absolutely on fire just from the way he was looking at you, but also at how generous the gift was. It wasn’t too ostentatious and it looked like something that could be tucked under your shirt for everyday wear.
“I’ll put it on you,” he offered and you passed him the necklace, scooting forward in the chair a bit so it wouldn’t be hard for him to lean behind you. When the necklace was on he pulled back.
“For my moon, sun, and all of my stars, that’s what you two are to me,” he grinned, and you listened to the people who did not know Gojo well, coo over his confession. He sure had a funny way of showing that.
“Why don’t you do the honors of telling everyone the sex of the baby, since you’re feeling chatty?”
“I’d love to, my darling,” he said with a grin, “I know many of you have been curious about whether we’re having a boy or a girl and I am happy to say we’re having a beautiful baby girl. I hope she’s every bit as gorgeous as her mother, and I hope she gets her patience, and her mind.” People cheered at the announcement and you smiled for the sake of the people around you.
“Okay, Satoru,” you said softly.
“I’ve truly never met a woman that I adore more than you.”
You frowned at him because it was getting harder to bite your tongue and keep yourself from saying something ignorant.
“Given the chance I would hold you and never let you go-”
“You were given the chance,” you reminded him softly.
Gojo got down on his knees in front of you.
“Please stop,” you said softly.
“No, it has to be said. I will never stop trying to win you over. For as long as I live I’m going to be right here.”
“Well maybe I’ll just have to kill you now.”
“Your cruelty means nothing to me, mama, I’ve felt the sweetness of your embrace.”
“Let go of me, asshole,” you grumbled, pushing his hands off of your legs.
He seemed amused by your attitude, which only made you more upset. Of course he would use this time where you couldn’t call him out on his bullshit to act like he was hopelessly in love with you.
When the baby shower was over, you got back in the car with Gojo to your place and you had your arms crossed in front of your chest while you looked out of the window. He knew you were upset. He knew why you were upset, he just wasn’t sorry for it at all. He spoke the truth and you should know it. Whether or not you believed him was ultimately up to you, but he meant every word. He was going to make this work, somehow some way.
All of you were going to have all of your immediate family coming back to the house for dinner. Kento and Janelle saw to it that downstairs was suitable for guests. Even if they were your closest friends and your mother. Your mother brought food over earlier that would just need to be put in the oven, and she worked in the kitchen with Nanami as he sous chef. It was comforting to see her in your kitchen… even if Gojo was there.
“When’s your due date again, baby?” Your mother asked.
“I’ll be 39 weeks on October 10. So that’s the tentative due date.”
“Our little Libra baby,” Janelle cooed as she came by and kissed the top of your head. You couldn’t help smiling.
“You know, you were a good kid. They say your own child is ten times worse to you than you were to your parents… so I don’t know maybe she’ll actually have a rebellious phase,” your mom joked.
You wanted to laugh at that but really you thought about how many feelings you had trapped inside yourself when you were kid because you didn’t want to be a bother. She was so busy and she had the awful habit of trivializing your emotions. It was better that you and your mother didn’t talk about mothering. She was gonna lose her mind when she found out you were doing gentle parenting with your baby. You knew to much about the long term effects of corporal punishment to pass that trauma down to your kid.
“She didn’t have a rebellious phase?” Gojo questioned as he entered the kitchen. He’d been tasked with taking the baby stuff to the nursery to keep him out of everyone’s hair.
Your mom shook her head, “She was always really independent. All she ever needed me for was to sign permission slips. She did everything else herself.”
Gojo frowned a little at that. He didn’t know if it was true for you, but he was like that with his parents. He only spoke to them when he had to, because they were busy people and despite never asking them for anything he still felt burdensome. He thought again of how often you asked to be left alone, or how you resolved to just do things alone. It was easier than trying to rely on other people.
“I’m hoping our baby raises a little hell. I really went wild in high school.”
“We know,” Nanami droned.
“Hey, Nanamin! Y/N thinks you had a good childhood. I disagree. Which one of us is right?”
Nanami turned to give him a slightly annoyed look before answering, “I had a perfectly good childhood up until I met you.”
Gojo pouted, he supposed that he set himself up for that one. He looked over at you to see your eyes were closed as you sat rubbing your stomach. You seemed to be taking deep breaths in the process. He came over and lightly touched your shoulder.
“You alright?” he asked softly.
“Yeah, yeah, she’s just active is all,” you answered, eyes fluttering open to look up at him. His lips were very slightly turned down as he looked at you.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Okay, let me talk to my baby for a second,” he said before squatting in front of you, “Look here, kid, I’m out here getting on her nerves, you can’t bother her too. She can only handle one of us at a time and I was here first.”
You pressed your lips together to keep from laughing at his words. Funny enough, the kicks did subside. Which was a little bit annoying. Of all the people to listen to, she was going to listen to her stupid ass father. Gojo put his hands on your belly and continued speaking in a softer tone.
“See, chill. You can raise hell once you get out of there. Once you’re on the outside, sweetie, we’ll raise hell together. Between the two of us, we’ll really drive her crazy.”
“Don’t tell her that, she can hear you,” you complained.
“Oh I know,” he said glancing up at her, “she’s my little agent on the inside.”
You rolled your eyes, “She’s a double agent I’m sure. You’re getting played. This is mama’s baby.”
“Mmm, I’m pretty great-”
“Are you?” you questioned immediately. The question was out so quickly you didn’t even have time to consider if you should say it before you did. You’d been holding your tongue since his stupid ass confession at your baby shower.
He sighed, “You’re really cruel.”
“I’m cruel?”
“Can we leave that in the past?”
“It happened two weeks ago!”
“The past.”
You thumped him between the eyes in response.
“Ow dammit, what was that for?”
“Do we have to talk about that? It’s in the past,” you mocked him.
He glared at you, and you glared right back, “Nevermind, kiddo, kick away. I’m sorry I interfered.”
You’re jaw dropped, “Woooow so you’re going to wish me pain, while I’m carrying your big headed baby!”
Gojo gasped, “Don’t say that about her-”
“Okay, okay, you two,” your mother called, diffusing the argument before it could turn into something more than just harmless bickering.
You turned away from him, focusing out of the front window. You heard him sigh heavily.
“I think I’ll go,” he settled.
“Satoru,” you rolled your eyes, because he was being dramatic.
“No, you’re family now,” your mom came around the kitchen island to take Gojo’s hand and then yours, “Now he was good enough for you to lay down with him, maybe you can extend some grace-”
You reeled. It was one thing when you were the one about to tell him to sit his Jolly Green Giant ass down somewhere, it was a whole other thing to have your mom waltz in like she was the authority on what would happen during this dinner, “You know what, you’re right, mom. I’m the problem. You all have a lovely dinner in my honor. I’m going to bed.”
Your mother said your name as a warning.
“Mom, respectfully, I’m really upset right now, and I just want to lie down.”
“Come back for dinner. Stop acting like this. I know you can be better.”
You closed your eyes so you wouldn’t roll them. You spent your whole life being the responsible bigger person and never got you anything but pregnant with an idiot’s baby. The thought crossed your mind and you immediately felt bad for it. It wasn’t your baby’s fault and this really wasn’t Satoru’s fault either. The two of you were just bickering and your mom decided to stick her nose in it. Sure you were annoyed with him and you didn’t like the way you felt when he touched you or talked to you: It could still make your heart skip a beat. But that didn’t make your current mood exclusively his fault. It was better if you removed yourself before you said something you would feel bad about later.
When you left, Gojo and your mother went to follow you but Nanami stepped in the way. He gave your mom a soft smile.
“Can I try talking to her first?” Nanami said.
“If you think it’ll help. I just don’t get why she’s acting like this,” your mom breathed.
Nanami went upstairs but took his time going to your room. He wanted you to have a little time alone. He peeked into the nursery curiously, and was pleasantly surprised to find that Gojo hadn’t just tossed the bags in the room. They were assembled in neat rows on one side of the room. It did interest him that the crib wasn’t together yet. You had a dresser, a changing table, rocker and plenty of toys in the room, but the crib was still in pieces on one side of the room. With that, he had an idea.
There was a soft knock on the door, “It’s me,” Nanami called.
“You can come in,” you sniffed.
You were sitting on the edge of your bed, already crying. Nanami clicked his tongue at that. You were absolutely beautiful today and it was a crime that you were crying like this.
“I’m gonna come downstairs. I’m not gonna ruin dinner.”
Nanami shrugged as he came to sit down beside you, “I understand if you want to stay up here, and if you do, then I’ll bring up your food, and I’ll keep anyone from bothering you, even your mother. I’m up here just to talk.”
“This one isn’t really Satoru’s fault. I’m just angry that mom interfered. And then she invited people in my family that I don’t even talk to, and they were taking passive aggressive shots at me. I’m just tired.”
Nanami hummed, “I see. I really do wish you had said something then. I would have had them escorted out.”
“It’s not worth the drama.”
“I don’t agree with you. I think someone hurting your feelings is worth making a fuss about. You know I’m vocal about my disdain for Gojo, but there are some things I think you stand to learn from him.”
“If you tell me to have fun, I’m kicking you out of my room.”
“No,” he laughed, “I’m going to tell you to be more open about how you feel. Gojo says things out right and while it can be brash and annoying, it is his truth. I know you care about Gojo. You wouldn’t have been as hurt as you were that night if you didn’t. And I don’t exactly approve of him for you, especially not now but… I can tell you without lying that this is the hardest he’s ever tried at anything. Most things come easy to him, but you? A baby? Being a good partner? It’ll be the hardest thing he ever does.”
“Why are you two friends if you don’t like him?” you asked, looking up at Nanami curiously.
“It’s not that I dislike Gojo… I just have very little respect for him. He’s never had to exist the way me and you have. He didn’t have to work to exceed expectations, he just did. He didn’t have to work to be successful, he was simply born into it. And he doesn’t have to work on his personality to be desirable because people usually just want him. Me and you, we had to work. You worked especially hard on your career… and well I guess maybe you didn’t have to work on your personality that hard, but you did. And I know that a lot of people rely on you as their emotional rock. Janelle being one of them. Even with me to help, she’s been shaky because you are. And your mother is on edge because you are. And that’s a lot of pressure.”
“I know. I need to get it together.” You hung your head, suddenly disappointed in yourself and the way you were reacting to things.
“No. No you don’t. You are entitled to this, to not being the one that everyone is leaning on. You are entitled to someone looking after you. You’re pregnant and if ever there was a time when a human being should be looked after and taken care of it’s when they’re making a life. Cry, make things awkward, shake the table, do whatever you want. No part of this would be happening if you weren’t pregnant. There would be no baby shower, no ultrasound pictures, no anything if you weren’t carrying that baby. You get to be a primadonna, because you’re the star of the show. I’ll go down there and tell everyone dinner’s canceled if you’re not up for it.”
You laughed a watery laugh as you wiped your face, “Thanks, Kento.”
“It’s nothing.” He put his arm over your shoulder and after a moment he chuckled, “You know I wanted a little sibling growing up. Weird how I wound up getting one.”
“Hm, well I wanted a big brother, so it all worked out. I’ll have to get you and Janelle a special anniversary gift this year. You two are keeping me sane.”
“A healthy niece will suffice.”
You smiled, “Is that really a gift to you?”
“Oh yes. I’m really quite excited about a baby in the family,” he said earnestly, “and I hear girls bring good luck.”
“You’re gonna be the best uncle ever.”
“I know,” he said and you could hear the smile in his voice.
“Hopefully, it’ll make up for the fact that her dad is a fucking idiot.”
“I can only do so much.”
You snorted before laughing. Nanami chuckled a little as well.
“You should wash your face, maybe put on something more comfortable. You can text me if you decide you won’t be joining us… but I really hope you do. This whole dinner is for you anyway. I don’t give a damn if Gojo eats or not.”
Gojo was getting a very stern talking to from Janelle while Nanami was talking to you. She was beyond livid with him and it showed. He actually considered Janelle to be something of a friend, so to see her upset only made him feel worse.
“We were rooting for you. We were all working on getting her to see the good in you, and you betrayed that, and I get it, she’s not perfect either. You could both use a crash course in effective communication, but you broke her trust, Satoru. You didn’t get to waltz in and demand she leaves things in the past. What you get to do is walk the straight and narrow. You get to be included in baby related things, because you’re related to the baby. That is it. I adore you, Satoru, I really do but this whole situation is beyond me,” she turned from Gojo to your mother, “And auntie, you know I love you. I love you like you’re my own mother, but the problems that Y/N is facing with the father of her child cannot be swept under the rug and we don’t understand all of the nuances of it okay? No, she doesn’t usually lash out like this, but she’s going through a lot right now and if we could all extend a little grace to her I think we would find that maybe, just maybe she should be allowed to be the immature one for once. Maybe she shouldn’t be catering to us, while she’s nearly eight months pregnant. Do you agree?”
Your mother only frowned, but in the end she nodded.
“Alright,” Janelle breathed, “she may choose to join us, she may not. Either way dinner is already cooked. Why don’t we make the rest of the evening as peaceful as possible?”
A few minutes later Nanami came back to the kitchen. There was a noticeable wet spot on his shirt from your tears. Janelle looked at him hopefully.
“It’s up to her if she wants to join. My primary concern is keeping her calm and stress free. If she does come back, we’re going to have a calming conversation over dinner. Gojo, that means don’t say anything stupid.”
Gojo rolled his eyes.
“It is a true crime that pregnant people can’t drink. I can’t think of a group of people who need it more,” Nanami grumbled as he grabbed serving plates to take to the dining room.
You came back down in a pair of leggings and a big shirt. It was far more comfortable than the dress, and you felt less stifled. You wound up setting between Janelle and Gojo at the head of the table.
“So, do you have names picked out?” Nanami asked once everyone had their food.
“Oh yes, we did talk about baby names. We really liked Celine… and Gojo proposed Hoshi or Hoshiko. We’re not set on anything though.”
“You also proposed the name Celeste,” Gojo offered.
“Right, Celeste and Miyu. But we’re kinda waiting to see her.”
Dinner went without further upset. It seemed like everyone was suddenly on their best behavior. Even your mother had less to say than usual, though you suspected she would find some subtle way to guilt trip you later. You loved your mother… but sometimes you really didn’t like her. Gojo was uncharacteristically quiet, but when he was asked a question directly he answered without hesitation. You wondered if Janelle told him to speak when spoken to. She wasn’t above making that kind of a decree.
At the end of the night, after Nanami loaded your dishwasher, and Janelle cleaned up the dining room, your mom said her goodbye to you. You hugged her, and found yourself relieved she was going.
“The crib isn’t put together upstairs,” Nanami said to Gojo.
“Oh,” you breathed, “It arrived last week and… well we weren’t talking.”
“You should stay and put it together, Satoru,” he said.
“Only if you’re cool with that, Y/N.”
“Uh sure,” you answered, “It’s probably for the best. Wouldn’t want to be trying to get it together at the last minute right?”
Nanami nodded. He kissed your forehead, and then glared at Gojo, “Walk us out.”
Gojo walked both him and Janelle out of the house, but before they left Nanami stopped.
“Build the damn crib, be charming, don’t make her upset. Those are your tasks. If you fuck that up, I don’t know what to say to you. And you should lose my number.”
And with that, he left.
You were upstairs gathering all the baby clothing from the bags so that they could be washed and then put away. You noticed a bag that you were pretty sure you hadn’t seen at the baby shower. As you rooted around, you noticed a little letter in there. It was signed by Gojo and you realized it was a letter to the baby. That was sweet enough to make your heart ache. You respectfully elected not to read the letter but, you looked at all the cute little onesies and then the teddy bear onesie for when it got cold. That’s what really broke you. You loved seeing babies dressed up like little teddy bears, and you were going to have one of your own.
“I’ll take care of that… if you want.”
You jumped in surprise and hastily wiped at the tears that were on your face, “It’s okay. I’ve got it. I uh… I found your gift to the baby mixed in with all the others and-”
Before the two of you were fighting, you made him swear to stop buying stuff for the baby so that others could have a chance to buy things. That did not stop him from purchasing things.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed, “I know you said to stop buying things but baby clothes are so sweet and I-”
You giggled, “You’re not in trouble, Satoru. You’re right they’re cute. ‘If you think I’m cute you should see my mommy’?” You laughed.
He chuckled too tentatively, “It felt apt.”
“She can wear a new onesie every hour on the hour,” you joked. As long as you kept your discussion about the baby, you could be civil.
“I got a few of them too big for a newborn just to be sure they get used. It’s not a big deal if they don’t, we can always donate them.”
You nodded, not knowing what else to say. You picked up the laundry basket with a little huff and Satoru promptly took it from you.
“Please let me do this. The thought of you going back down those stairs is stressing me out.”
“I go up and down them all day, Satoru. I’m fine.”
“Well, while I’m here, please let me take care of it. I’ll wash the onesies, put together the crib then go, okay?”
“Fine,” you answered but before he could leave you spoke again, “This evening wasn’t your fault. I was more mad that my mom started bossing me around than I was at you. I just… didn’t want you to think I was mad at you.”
He smiled, “I can’t get thrown off every time you’re a little temperamental. I’m in it for the long haul, mama.”
You scoffed and let do as he said he would. When he came back he behaved much like he had at dinner. He didn’t try to say much to you. His silence didn’t seem malicious, it was just odd. He was never so quiet around you. It made you want to just talk in order to keep the silence from stretching on as you watched him sit down and put the crib together. He didn’t even bother with the instructions, which was typical, but he also didn’t seem to flounder at all with putting it together. Despite how big his hands were in comparison to the little parts he managed to work with the pieces easily, maybe even gracefully.
“This is so cool,” he breathed while putting together the custom mobile with plenty of bright plastic baubles hanging off of it, “Baby stuff is kinda neat. I mean when I was little my room was pretty drab. I wasn’t allowed to decorate it, but I hope you let our baby decorate her room how she wants. She’ll have a room in my house that looks the way she wants,” he said aloud and found himself completely unsatisfied with a future in which the two of you did not live in the same house. He wouldn’t say that though. Shoko said that he was supposed to be rebuilding trust. He remembered how serious Shoko looked as she deleted a tweet that he thought was really good.
“Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone, I miss her tits when she’s away… Or whatever Bill Withers said” She read aloud before deleting the tweet, “Gojo do you like her, or do you like the sex the two of you have?”
“I like her.”
“Well what do you like about her?”
“I like that she’s kinda mean to me. She doesn’t care about impressing me, and she’s really smart. She knows all kinds of things that I’ve never even thought about. I like her smile, and the way that she laughs, I even like the way she makes fun of me for being tall. I… I like the way she can fall asleep in the middle of an action movie and sleep through all of the explosions and I like that when we talk… I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to be cool, because she already thinks I’m ridiculous.”
“Oh, Satoru, you’ve got it bad.”
“Yeah. Only I just realized it. I just figured I wanted to be around her all the time because she’s pregnant. That’s what you do with pregnant people.”
“You really like her,” Shoko said softly as if she were truly astonished. Gojo nodded miserably, “I can’t guarantee she’ll like you back, but… I mean look, she can use some communication training too. I mean how were you supposed to know what she wanted if she never said anything, but I’m not her friend I’m yours. If you want her and no one else, then you have to be about her and the baby and no one else. Just be a friend first. Earn back her trust. And hopefully she gives you enough reason to trust her.”
“I do trust her.”
“Then why didn’t you say how you felt sooner?”
“I… I didn’t know.”
“And I’m willing to bet you were afraid- oh what the hell is this,” Shoko complained looking at a video of him sitting in his bathtub fully clothed with the shower running with “I Know It’s Over” by The Smiths playing, “Gojo, you set up your phone, turned on music, and recorded this. You disgust me.”
“It was a dark time.”
“It was two days ago.”
He wondered if you’d seen any of that. At the time he hoped you would, so you could see how distraught he was. Now… It was deeply embarrassing to think of you seeing him like that. It took Shoko an hour to scrub his social media of his sadness. The crib was coming along easily and you were moving around putting pampers away inside the changing table cabinets.
You thought again of that day and everything you said to Gojo out of anger. It wasn’t fair and you felt bad that he was so quiet with you now. There was nothing about his silence that felt natural. Besides, being friends with Gojo would make co-parenting easier.
“Satoru,” you called.
He turned curiously.
“I really appreciate all that you’ve done for me without me having to ask because frankly I never would have asked and I would be really stressed out trying to do it myself.
Gojo’s eyes were wide as he looked at you.
“I’m sorry for being mean to you, earlier. I’m angry but… but I know I shouldn’t be. And it’s one thing for me to be mean to you, but I don’t like how harsh everyone else is too. I’ll talk to them about that. I just really don’t want to do this alone.”
He pulled in a deep breath, “I’m not going anywhere. And I don’t mind what other people have to say as long as you keep me around.”
“Well we’re having a baby, Gojo. I suspect we’ll be around one another a lot.” You offered him a smile but you knew it wasn’t genuine. Your words were true but the feelings behind them were not ones that made you want to smile. You just didn’t want to worry him with more tears.
“Right. Well I’ll help as much as you let me, mama,” he said.
There were more things that you wanted to say but you just decided to leave well enough alone. When the crib was done, Gojo switched the baby clothes to the dryer before leaving.
That night when you laid in bed, you fiddled with the pendant on the necklace Gojo gave you. If you had just done what you said you’d do in the beginning, things wouldn’t be so messy now. What a mess you’d made of things.
The worst part about all of this was the fact that you couldn’t drink. You had to just sit there in your emotions. When the tears dried you just felt… hollow. You stayed the rest of the weekend at Janelle and Kento’s mostly because they insisted upon it. You mostly stayed in bed, and they gave you time, but eventually came into the guest room to watch trashy reality T.V. and eat junk food with you. It was a special treat to see Nanami get into the storylines. He kept swearing that it was all asinine, but notably was not looking away from the screen.
You went home Sunday evening to an empty house and you cried again, but you weren’t sobbing. Your eyes were just… leaking really. You sat down heavily on the sofa and put your head in your hands. For one moment, for one beautiful moment you thought you might not be in this alone but now it just didn’t seem very likely. You made a mistake on New Year’s Eve. You thought that you could get away with being reckless and the universe corrected you.
You laid on your side, staring at the dark reflection of yourself in the T.V. That night you looked at Gojo and you knew he was no good. You knew he would never be the kind of guy you would bring home to your mother, where you could lay down roots and make something grow. He was just a bit of fun. You knew better. It was just the folly of a soft heart that got you where you were now. Honestly it made you feel like a fool, a reckless, dumb fool. It didn’t matter that nothing could have forewarned you that you would be tied to Gojo forever. You were on birth control and you used a condom. It was just… fate you guessed. God, you remembered that night so well.
He kissed you at midnight. He’d kissed you thoroughly, letting his tongue move with yours while holding you so tightly to him you could barely breathe. When he pulled away he took your hand only to grin down at you.
“Any chance you wanna get out of here?” he asked, his excitement was contagious.
You looked over your shoulder at the party outside and looked at him nodding giddily. It was an impulse decision. You liked the warmth in the pit of your stomach, and the way your heart fluttered in anticipation. It was so different than how you lived your life up until that very moment. Your New Year’s resolution was to have fun.Gojo was fun. You let him lead you out to his car. His stupid flashy sports car made you nearly double over with laughter, only because it was such a cliche. It was the car of a rich asshole, with way too much time on his hands.
“What’s so funny?” he asked as he opened the door for you.
“Nothing, cool car,” you giggled.
“Damn right it’s a cool car.”
“Mmhm, are you auditioning for the next Fast and Furiousmovie?”
“So you’re a comedian too?” he asked as he closed your door. You rested against the backrest as you laughed. There were so many ways this night could go, but you were genuinely thrilled that it went this way. Imagine how disappointing it would have been to go home with one of the boring men who wanted to talk about stocks, and cryptocurrency. There was no way, it was going to be Gojo there very moment he walked in. Maybe it was always going to be him. He got in and started his car. Music started playing over the radio, and he went to turn it down but you put your hand out to stop him.
“Wait, I like this song!” You started bobbing your head to the beat.
“The music stays on then. You’re on DJ duty. My place or yours?”
“We can go to yours.”
He took the long way to his place you realized now. Maybe he enjoyed your company just as much as you liked his, maybe that was just wishful thinking. The two of you were laughing so hard in the car that you didn’t want the time together to end. You were singing out the window, interacting with the other people out on the streets, probably leaving the function early to do the same thing you two intended on doing. You were having fun. It was the first time in a long time where you could do so without guilt. There wasn’t something you were supposed to be doing instead of this. You just had to be at work the day after tomorrow. You were free to do as you wished. If you had a time machine you’d have told yourself to stay at home on New Year’s Eve. It would save you from the ache that resided deep in your chest now. Was any of it worth the way you felt now? And logically you knew it was your own fault for getting attached. It was your own fault for feeling more for him than he could ever feel for you, but logic wasn’t at work here. There was no logic behind the ache in your chest or the sick feeling in your stomach. It was just grief.
The doorbell rang, breaking you out of your thoughts. You were slow to get up. It was a hard task now that you were so big. Without having to think about it, your hand went up to hold your rounded belly. You put on your house slippers and shuffled miserably to the door. You looked through the peephole and saw Gojo. He was somehow simultaneously the last person you wanted to see and the only person you wanted to see. Obviously, you opened the door. He was the father of your child and despite Nanami’s vehement assurances that he could connect you with his lawyer friend to make it where you never saw Gojo you weren’t going to take that route. Sure you were angry, and so was Nanami, but you weren’t going to ever use the baby as a way to punish him for temporary emotions. This feeling would pass, the loss of a relationship with ones father would not.
Gojo looked worse for wear, like maybe he just rolled out of bed and came to your house. The gray shirt he wore was wrinkled and his sweatpants hung low on hips since he hadn’t bothered with the drawstring. You met his gaze last. He was wearing sunglasses, which kinda made him look hungover, even though you knew he didn’t drink.
“Can we talk?” he asked when you didn’t say anything.
“What’s there to talk about, Satoru? I saw you, so if you’ve come here to switch the narrative and pretend that’s your cousin or something, save it. Save it and preserve the small margin of respect I have for you as the father of my child.”
“That’s not what I came here to do. I… Please, can I come in?”
You just moved out of the way. In all, you didn’t really want to fight with Gojo, you didn’t really want to talk to him at all. However you didn’t have the luxury of something like that. Janelle, after she calmed down a bit, gently berated you for not admitting to how you felt about Gojo sooner. To say she berated you was still a bit much. It was a soft suggestion that maybe you should have said something sooner. Maybe you should have, maybe it wouldn’t have mattered at all. Maybe you should have stayed home on New Year’s Eve.
“I’m sure you have questions, and I swear to you I will tell the truth. I-”
“How long?” you asked, cutting him off. That mattered to you more than you originally realized. Was it the whole time? Every moment you spent together was he also dealing with someone else. Would it be better or worse if it was the same woman? Worse… because that would mean she meant something to him. Did you mean something to him? Did it matter? Did you want to mean something to him?
“I… I met her for the first time at a club with Suguru. But then I didn’t see her again until the fair.”
You remembered that night, the hickey you didn’t remember putting on his neck, “So you slept with her?” You grit your teeth against the urge to start crying. The two of you weren’t dating but he certainly wasn’t using a condom. You had a right to be mad about that right? He was endangering your health, and his baby’s health.
“No. No, we never had sex.”
You narrowed your eyes at him and tried to decide if you believed him or not. You wanted to… but that was not enough to absolve him of your suspicion. He took your hand in both of his. It must have been written all over your face that you didn’t believe him for a second. Why have a second date? Maybe he was going to have sex with her that night at the fair. Maybe he never intended to. Maybe you should have stayed home.
“I promise you, we never had sex. I was just… in the club I was caught up in the moment, and at the fair I was just… I was angry that we fought and I needed to know that if I had to I could move on from you, because god knows you can’t stand me, and once you have this baby-”
“Don’t put this on me. Don’t blame me for this. I called you. I called you and I was sick, and I wanted to apologize for what I said and the whole time you were-“ you stopped because you could feel yourself getting emotional, "Satoru, I thought we were close. And I thought you didn’t want to date me. I thought- Actually, it doesn’t matter what I thought-”
“You think I don’t want you. Come on, that has to be a joke.” He huffed a humorless laugh as he looked at you. His eyes were alight like the blue part of a flame, "I wouldn’t be with you all the time if I didn’t want you-”
“Right because you don’t do anything you don’t want to do,” you nodded, “Because you’re Satoru Gojo, right? So you wanted her? And you wanted me to just be here too for you to fuck whenever you wanted to play house. That’s what it was.”
“No, no. Do not twist my words. I want you.”
You shook your head, “Obviously you don’t. I’m just the woman having your baby. That’s it and the moment I wasn’t fun, and I wasn’t curled up in your arms you found the next available warm body. Maybe I’d play this game with you if I wasn’t pregnant. I might be tempted to show you how much I could care, and try to convince you to stay but the truth is… I could forgive everything else if I wasn’t pregnant, I hadn’t called you because I was sick and you declined my call. I’m not going to do this with you. We’ll have a baby soon and I can’t be worried about whether or not you’re going to be fucking other bitches when things get hard, or if you’re going to ignore our baby based upon something Ido. Kids are hard to raise but I’ll do it alone before I stoop to begging you for your time.”
“You’re not doing anything alone. This was just a small mistake and I thought you were just doing what you always do, which is call me back an hour after you’ve cursed me out because you feelbad. I never should have been out with that woman, and none of this ever should have happened and if I’d known that it would hurt you-”
“How did you think I would feel?” you asked, “If you didn’t think it would hurt me, then how did you think I would feel?”
“I didn’t think you would care honestly,” he said somberly, “I didn’t think you cared.”
You nodded, “No, you knew I cared. You wouldn’t have had that stupid ass look on your face when I saw you. You just didn’t think I would find out. You didn’t think about how I would feel until you saw me. I don’t believe you thought about me at all. And that’s fine, really it is-”
“It’s not fine, don’t say that. I wasn’t thinking straight, but I promise you I never felt anything for her. I was hoping I could, then I could know that this… thing between us wasn’t real, but if it’s not you I don’t want anyone else and that proved it.”
“You want me to take you kissing another woman as proof that you only want me? Do you hear how that sounds?”
“I didn’t think you wanted me-”
“Igave you an in!” you yelled at him, “When we first started I told you to date me! What did you do? You proclaimed you wanted to be the only person I had sex with. I was stupid enough to think that meant some kind of exclusivity, but obviously not. I asked you to date me and instead you did everything but that! Good God, Gojo, you proposed to me. You were content doing everything to make me believe that we were working towards something and the first time I fucked up you didn’t think I wanted you. Why? Because I don’t blow up your phone? Because I’m not begging you to be around me! I’m not that girl! I am never going to be that girl. I have been alone this long and I’ll be damned before I beg a man to be anything to me. I won’t even beg you to be a father to my child. You knew that I wanted you, but you also knew I didn’t need you.”
“You said we should date and then you said it was just hormones and you were just horny. And every moment from then you kept telling me we weren’t daring. You were pushing me away.”
“I was waiting on you! It was an invitation for you to establish yourself as something more to me. We weren’t dating because you never told me we were dating, what the hell do I look like assuming you want me?”
“If that’s the case then why are you mad? If you were holding back because I didn’t define us, why are you upset with me?”
“Because I-“ you stopped and assessed yourself. It was because you’d wanted him. You wanted him to want you. It was all well and good for you to want him but that was nothing in the grand scheme of things if he didn’t want to stay. You were angry because you felt like you were just an option, yet another woman Gojo tricked into caring only to be nothing to him in the end. But you were pregnant and so you would never be able to move on.
“I’m mad because you won,” you breathed, “I’m mad because I’m pregnant and it’s a lifelong commitment that I have now and you can just up and leave whenever you want and I’m stuck here! I’m mad because I don’t get to make snap decisions, I don’t get to fuck up because there’s a life attached to me now. And I feel stupid. I feel really fucking stupid for all this because I knew better. I knew better than to expect you to be anyone but who you are. And I’m angry that I’m in this alone. Because I’m a mom and I don’t get to fuck up, but you do!”
Gojo watched you hold your head in your hands. That sick feeling in the pit of his stomach was back. This talk wasn’t going how he planned, if he was honest he didn’t have a plan. He just hoped you would see things from his perspective. It seemed like you were trying to but you weren’t coming to the right conclusion. You still believed he would let you do any of this alone.
“What do you want me to do?” He looked away from you, because he couldn’t take the sight of you crying. He hatedseeing you cry. He hated it even more because he was the reason for it.
“I want you to leave me alone.”
He nodded. looking away from you. He could have guessed that much, “For how long?”
“Forever,” you answered simply and his head snapped in your direction and you sighed, “But I’m not a monster so I’ll see you for the baby shower. I need this week to get my shit together so that we can be parents.”
He nodded as the sick feeling was only getting worse, “Okay,” he said softly before standing. You got up and he had to keep himself from reaching for you in an attempt to help you. You obviously didn’t want him to touch you. Gojo left and you tried to kill the part of you that wanted to call him back and ask him to stay. You would never let a man show you he doesn’t want you twice. If your mother were here she’d hit you in the back of the head for even thinking about calling him back. Never in your whole life had you ever felt the need to be with someone else to prove your feelings for another person. You just knew. You just knew when you liked someone. And you had liked Gojo, but the moment you got the bright idea to admit such a thing to anyone the universe saw it fit to give you a reality check. Better now than later, you supposed.
Gojo left the house beyond frustrated. He would have argued with you longer, saw to it that you understood exactly how wrong you were, but you were already upset and that kind of stress wasn’t good for the baby. He got in his car and just sat there for a moment. It didn’t sit right for you to just be alone. After another minute or so he took out his phone. There was really only one person in his contacts that would be of use to him: Nanami.
Can I ask you a favor?
There wasn’t much that could really make Nanami angry. Truly he was a docile man, but he found it particularly aggravating when someone upset his wife, and anger was an easier emotion for him to harbor when he was angry on behalf of someone he cared about. So when he got the text from Gojo he just stared at it for a while, trying to decided if he was going to answer or not. In the end, he figured he might as well see what he wanted.
Depends on what you want.
I just want you to check in on Y/N later on today and throughout the week.
I was going to do that anyway.
Thanks
Not doing it for you. Figure out a way to fix this. Quickly.
Gojo sighed heavily before tossing his phone on to the passenger seat and pulling away from your house. He would give you this week. He could spare that much but he’d make this up to you. It was obvious now, at least to him, that you had felt something for him. Otherwise you truly wouldn’t care. You cared a lot. It was just one week without you. He could do that, no problem.
After a singular day he wanted to call you so badly it was the only thing that he could think about it. It hit him at about 2 AM that you really said that you wanted him to leave you alone forever and the only thing in the way of that was the fact that you were pregnant. You wouldn’t get in the way of his relationship with the baby. You never said that anything was salvageable. He tried calling you, but of course he was blocked on literally everything. He couldn’t even send you and email… and he tried. He just thought that maybe if you understood that he never would have strayed from your side if he knewhow you felt then perhaps you could both get over this. He went for a drive after that, playing music too loudly on a playlist that shifted from J. Cole’s “She Knows” and ended on ‘Curl Up & Die" by Matt Maltese. There was some Harry Styles sprinkled in between that he would not admit to listening to but he did play “She” twice, and “To be so lonely” three times. He had to pull over when “Fine Line” played. Still it was “Curl Up & Die” that sent him straight home.
Day two when he woke up at 2 pm, he tried to convince himself it was no big deal. Women came and went. You said that you wouldn’t keep him from being involved with the baby and that’s all that really mattered. He could totally swing being nothing but a friend that co-parented a baby with you. Then “Pretty Brown Eyes” by Mint Condition came on shuffle while he was showering and he lost all of his composure. That sounded awful. How could he be around you and you warm brown eyes behind those big nerdy glasses and just be your friend?He spiraled in to listening to a barrage of sad R&B. Everything from “Burn” by Usher to “Unbreak My Heart” by Toni Braxton. He wound up just laying on the floor in front of his record player staring blankly at the wall until eventually he fell asleep that way.
On the third day, he did not get out of bed. Geto let himself in to check on Gojo. Gojo hadn’t updated any of his social media for two days at this point and that was alarming. He wanted to be sure the man was still alive.
“Satoru!” Geto called.
“What?”
“Oh good he’s alive,” Geto breathed before continuing upstairs. He kicked open Gojo’s bedroom door. Gojo was in bed facing away from the door, “It smells like depression and crunchy socks in here. What the hell is going on?”
“Me and Y/N are through,” Gojo answered.
Geto sighed, “You two weren’t even together.”
“What do you call being with someone almost everyday, going out together every weekend, and having regular sex?”
Geto winced, “A relationship, usually.”
“Yeah, that’s the same conclusion I came to.”
“But she didn’t claim you either! So it’s-”
“She asked me to date her… in the beginning and I- I don’t know what I was thinking. She doesn’t want to see me until the baby shower.”
“Oh, that’s just a week. Come on, go shower, we’ll go out.”
“I don’t want to go out with you. Going out with you is how I got into this mess. Why do we always have to have dates and pick up women? Why couldn’t we just go out as friends and enjoy a goddamn fair?!”
“Oh so now this is my fault. Look I didn’t force you to go with me, and I didn’t force you to tongue down your date. Obviously, you’re not as crazy about her as you think you are-”
“That’s the thing,” Gojo tossed the covers off of him as he sat up, “I am. I didn’t like that woman. She was aggravating. I wanted to hang out with you and forget about the fight I had with Y/N. Why did we need dates for that?”
“Wait, if you disliked her so much, why did you kiss her then?”
“I thought I had to, just to be sure that my feelings for Y/N were real. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I just wanted an out-”
“Your feelings- You have feelings for her? Get real. You think she’s hot, and she’s knocked up with your kid. That’s all it is. I mean before she came back around you thought going out was fun! We used to hit the club every night. It was a good time!”
“But I wasn’t happy! Not like I am with her. I was having a good time but I didn’t feel good. I want to hang out with you, I do, but I don’t care about the women and the parties. I mean I’m going to be a dad! At some point, we have to grow up!”
“We don’t have to do anything. You’re the one who signed up on this stupid journey to fatherhood. You’re the one making everything change!”
“You’re right.”
“And you’re saying you were miserable this whole time? You were miserable while I thought we were having fun?”
“Geto, that’s not how I meant it. I don’t expect you to understand-”
“Good because I don’t. You’re moping over a bitch who doesn’t want you!”
“Don’t call her that. You don’t have to understand how I feel but you’re not going to talk about her like that, alright. She hasn’t done anything to you and you’ve had nothing but shitty things to say about her.”
“You’re right, it’s not her fault you’re a gullible idiot. Isn’t it so convenient that after she has the house and you’ve spent more money on her than I can probably imagine that she’s done with you. Over what? A kiss? Get real!”
“Maybe you’ve never cared about anyone before, but a kiss could be a big deal. Hell if I saw her tonguing down some guy-”
“Fine! Fine! Sit here and mope.”
“I will! You can get out, because you’re not helping. You’re only making things worse.”
“Bye, Satoru,” Geto said before unhooking Gojo’s key from his and throwing it at home, “Have a great life as someone’s washed up baby daddy.”
The fourth day saw the unfortunate resurgence of Gojo’s social media. From sad song lyrics, to a truly confounding snap story that included him scream singing “Mr. Loverman”. It was enough to make Shoko come over and check on him on the fifth day. He opened up the door for her and she glared up at him with her sleepless gaze before taking one long drag of her cigarette before putting it out on the bottom of her shoe. She blew out the smoke before speaking.
“You look like shit,” she said before continuing in.
“Well, I feel like shit.”
“Geto said you and your girlfriend broke up.”
“She wasn’t my girlfriend.”
“You two were dating,” she rolled her eyes, “I don’t really understand the games you play, but let’s call a spade a spade. The two of you were seriously dating and she saw you kiss another woman.”
“I didn’t think she even wanted to be serious,” Gojo threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.
“Right because having a baby together isn’t serious,” Shoko sighed, “It’s fine you’re both ridiculous. Tell me this, did you want to be serious?”
“… Yes.”
“And you kissed another woman despite wanting to be serious with her. That literally makes no sense.”
“Did you come here just to make me feel worse?” he grumbled.
Shoko shook her head, “No. My invitation to the baby shower got revoked and you’re going to fix that. You’re going to grovel. You’re going to kiss the ground she walks on, because I already bought a fun aunt shirt, and I am not returning it. Plus, if you get cast out from your baby’s life then it’s back to me being the one with the baby in the friend group and me and my girlfriend can’t even fathom that right now!” Shoko ranted. Of Gojo’s friends, Shoko and Nanami were the only two in successful relationships. If he was going to listen to anyone about what a woman wants, it made sense that it would be a woman who likes other women. She had to have encyclopedic knowledge on women. Shoko was a lot of things, bitchless was never one of them.
“I’m listening.”
“Good. I expect to be reinvited to the baby shower by next week. You’re playing the long game here alright. You’re gonna do exactly as I tell you, nothing more and definitely nothing less. And if you fuck this up, I swear I’ll just talk to her directly and get my invite back and to hell with you and your rights as a parent.”
“Fine.”
“Now, give me your damn phone. You’re fucking embarrassing,” she said holding out her hand. When he held it out she snatched it from him, “You’re a grown man. I should never see a photo of you crying. I don’t give a shit if it’s in your private story. You fucking idiot.” she grumbled as she started deleting the posts from the last 24 hours.
On Sunday at exactly midnight you unblocked Gojo. Blocking him was more for his own good than genuine malice. You knew he’d have trouble leaving you alone, and you needed the time alone. Nanami and Janelle had been over quite a lot. Janelle wanted to sit and talk through emotions with you, Nanami seemed to understand that you might want to just move on. He helped put up shelves in the front room and movers came in with stuff you picked out for the house.
“I don’t understand why you don’t want to talk this out,” Janelle complained this morning.
“Janelle, I know that you are a therapist, but you’re not my therapist. I just really don’t care to get into it okay? We weren’t dating, I got attached, this is my bad. We’ll continue on and co-parent this baby.”
“Is it really that simple?”
“It is. Satoru is hardly worth the trouble anyway. I’m not the type of woman to beg a man to want something that he obviously doesn’t want, or to agree to something that he’s just doing out of some patriarchal idea of what man should be. All I ask is that he’s a good father to his daughter when she’s born. That’s it.”
“And that is fair,” Nanami said firmly, before tossing a look at Janelle, “I think this is a conversation better left between the two of them.”
Janelle pouted, crossing her arms, “I know her. She’s not going to say anything about why this hurt her so badly.”
“I’m pregnant. Everything is dialed up to 100. That’s it. Now can we please, please, drop it. I’d like to have functioning mounted shelves and I only have Kento’s muscles available to me for so long.”
It’s not that you actually believed everything was just pregnancy hormones, it was just easier to own up to that than the truth. The truth was you had been stupid and naive in regards to situation with Gojo. You could charge this one transgression to the game and continue on amicably. You would simply never make that mistake again. So as you unblocked Gojo you sat there for a moment, trying to go to bed.
Can I see you?
He sent it at 12:01 AM, like he’d been watching the clock (he was). You just stared at the message and tried to ignore the ache in your chest when you read it. You could almost hear the way he would have said it. In the same second you wondered how many other women fell for this same charade. Just because it worked on everyone didn’t mean it had to work on you. There was no reason to see Gojo at this time of the night. You closed your phone, put it on silent and then tried to go to sleep. That was getting easier. Going to sleep without Gojo took some getting used to (and the purchase of a c-shaped body pillow). But now it was the prospect of seeing him again that made you anxious. You put your hand on your stomach, and tried not to think about just how warm Gojo’s palm usually was against your stomach.
Shoko’s words echoed in Gojo’s head as he pulled up to the house. It wasn’t often that he saw Shoko so passionate about something. He wasn’t aware of how badly she wanted to be an aunt.
“You are going to talk to her about how you feel. You are going to tell her that you are still all in with her and the baby, and if she wants nothing to do with you, you are going to calmly ask to still be included in important pregnancy milestones, because the baby is never going to stop being important to you. Do you understand?” Shoko said to him.
He didn’t feel like he could be okay with losing out on his relationship with you, but he would concede that it meant more that he got to be with his daughter. He took a deep breath and then another. It still felt weird to come empty handed, he felt like he should have a gift or something, but Shoko said that would cheapen his words. It would make him seem like he was trying to buy you. So, no gift, just his sincere feelings even though he didn’t really know how he felt. He cared about you a lot, and he wanted to be with you more than anything, but everything wasn’t right yet. There were too many moving pieces right now. There were still things he needed to set up to be the kind of father he wanted to be… and to even be the kind of husband he wanted to be and he wasn’t going to do either of those things half assed.
You noticed his car when he pulled up, and you wondered what took him so long to get out. Maybe he was finishing a conversation with one of his hoes. What did you know? You sighed, moving on to putting the last of the dishware you bought, away in the cabinets. The kitchen was pretty much done. You put new cushions in the breakfast nook and Kento brought you flowers from their garden to put on the table. They were nice. As you stood there you thought of Kento’s advice, “Be smart. Don’t agree to more than you’re willing to give, and consider your child first in all things. Janelle and I will help you in whatever way you need so don’t worry about doing it alone.” He’d given the top of your head a pat before leaving.
You could appreciate Nanami’s advice. He did not try to tell you how you should feel or how big your anger should be. He didn’t even try to get into your feelings. The knock at the door required another grounding breath before you opened it. Gojo was smiling but you watched his smile falter as he looked down at you.
“You’re already so much bigger.”
“Hello to you too, jackass.”
“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” Gojo said hastily, “You’re pregnant you’re supposed to get bigger, it’s just that I didn’t think one week would make so much of a difference.”
“Babies grow pretty fast in the grand scheme of things.”
He nodded, that was the primary reason he was here. Babies grow fast so he needed to mend this thing between the two of you so it wouldn’t get in the way of him seeing that, “Can I come in?”
You moved out of the way and gestured for him to come in. This time the two of you stayed in the kitchen. Nanami dropped off fresh veggies early this morning and you needed to clean them before you put them in the fridge. You went to the sink to continue your abandoned task. He stood on the other side of the kitchen island peering at the new decorations that were up. It looked very inviting, and very you.
“I am sorry for the pain that I caused you.”
You waved him off, “We aren’t dating so-”
“But I wanted to be. And I was asking you to be exclusive with me, and even though that was just supposed to be sex I… I didn’t like to see you flirting with anyone else. I guess what I’m saying is, if the tables were turned I would have been upset as well.”
You just stared at him, not really sure of what you should or could say. You didn’t expect such a well put together apology, but then again maybe he was just well versed in apologizing like this. Men could be Oscar worthy actors when they wanted to be. Nanami’s words replayed in your head. Your daughter was the most important thing between you and Gojo. If you let him, he would make you hate him in the end and that would ultimately hurt your daughter.
“I still want to be here for you and our daughter, and I don’t want to miss out on important stuff, like your baby shower, or ultrasounds… her birth. No matter what you feel about me, I don’t want that to get in between me and my daughter.”
“That is something we agree on… which is why we should stick to the original plan. We’re just two friends who are having a baby. I would like to be able to parent a child with you and I refuse to be yet another woman wondering where you are at night. Frankly this whole situation has stressed me out and that’s not good for the baby and it’s not good for me.”
Gojo nodded and when he offered no rebuttal, or attempt at persuading against what you said you narrowed your eyes at him. This was too easy. Maybe he thought he could just wear you down over time and eventually you’d fall in line with every other poor soul who thought Gojo was going to settle down and make a family with them.
“And I don’t mean friends who fuck. I literally mean just friends.”
“Yeah, I gathered that. Okay. I mean I’m always gonna want you, there’s no helping that, but I can be your friend.”
You kept your eyes narrowed but decided not to argue with him. In the end, it didn’t really matter if he tried to persuade you otherwise you weren’t going to give in. He could make all sorts of plans in his head but the truth was you’d been deeply hurt by his actions and you weren’t someone to forgive and forget a slight like that easily.
“Oh, hey, could you invite Shoko to the baby shower again. She was really upset. She’s banking on this fun aunt thing more than even I know.”
You blinked in confusion for a second, “Oh, Janelle must have done that. I haven’t even had my hands on anything baby shower related. I was too upset. I’ll shoot Janelle a text though.”
“I’m gonna make this up to you, mama. I promise that on my life.”
“I don’t see how you are going to do that and frankly I don’t want your life.”
You tried to stay away from Gojo’s social media. You only followed him because he whined about it to you, but between his Twitter, his Snapchat, and his Instagram, there was just so much stupidity. And you’d seen so much of Gojo fully naked that the half naked pics didn’t even phase you. However today’s taste of stupid came from a picture of you. Your face was not in it, thank god, but it was still your baby bump. You should have known he was up to something when you woke up from your nap and he was smiling at his phone. You were watching his close friends story on snapchat and lo and behold there was your stomach and Gojo’s hand was on it, covering a good amount of your bump. You were at 25 weeks, which meant you were getting big. If there was any confusion about what was going on with you, anybody and everybody would notice you were pregnant. You tapped that photo only to see another of him kissing your stomach. You got yet another notification from Twitter that was just some random woman trying to follow you. Whenever there was an influx of people trying to follow you, you just assumed that Gojo had posted something to Twitter and maybe tagged you in it. It didn’t take you long to find the post. It was a picture of him with his ear pressed against your stomach.
“Getting intel from my agent on the inside #BabyGojo” You had to agree that it was a pretty adorable picture especially considering Gojo was wearing his shades and a sleeveless turtleneck that day. You just quietly saved the picture and chose not to scold him about it.
Janelle texted you a few hours later while you were getting the kitchen together and fully functioning. You looked at the message curiously.
Please come get your baby daddy off the gram
He belong to the streets. What am I getting him for?
He just dropped your @
You sighed heavily. You followed Gojo on insta, again, only because he whined about it. You immediately saw that he was on live. The moment you pressed the little icon you saw yourself.
“She’s really pretty, Gojo’s are up a thousand with this one. Oh she just joined, hi mama.”
Stop telling these people I know you. I’ve never met you b4 in my life
You watched with a small smile as he read your response. He pouted immediately and you couldn’t help laughing.
Put a damn shirt on!
The other comments were coming too fast for you to catch. You wondered who the hell had the time or the desire to sit and listen to a man talk nonsense. The only way you handled Gojo talking to you in real life was because making him shut up wasn’t as easy as turning off your phone or clicking out of an app; it was something you had to endure. You would sincerely pray for the women who watched these lives and thought that Gojo was anything other than an idiot.
“Don’t tell me what to do. Aren’t you supposed to be putting together a baby registry?”
Aren’t you supposed to be getting a new prescription for viagra
You can’t breakdown crying during sex again.
“You’re a dirty liar, and I’m gonna block you,” he laughed as he read.
Ladies, save your pussy, he has to bark like a dog to get off
New definition of doggy style.
He was laughing too hard to make a rebuttal to your comments. The other comments on live were in shambles but you were having fun roasting him.
“You know what, I’m on my way. Let’s see how much shit you have to talk then.”
Pull up you know the addy
You set your phone aside to focus on putting things away in the kitchen. You wanted to cook today. Eating so much take-out was really starting to get to you. You got up early this morning to go to the farmer’s market. You had fresh produce to use and clean. All of your pots were out and cleaned. Sure they were clean when you put them in boxes, but it just felt kinda gross to use them fresh out of the box. In all honesty, you were just craving sweet potatoes, but you were forcing yourself to have protein and vegetables for the sake of your nutrition. That being said… you were making a lot of sweet potatoes. Gojo came in while you were sitting at the little breakfast nook peeling yams. He had a spare key. He’d argued that if you were in labor and he wasn’t here, which you highly doubted would happen, that he needed to be able to get to you. You didn’t really mind, because he didn’t abuse the power. He did _ tell _ _ _ you that he was coming over, and usually he called to ask before he popped up.
“Now what was all that you were saying on live.”
“You’re a grown man with a baby on the way, Satoru. Maybe it’s time to give up communing with your hoes via live. And also, keep my name out of your mouth while you’re talking to your hoes. A bitch has one time to throw a brick through my window and I’m coming to beat _ your _ ass. Don’t put me in no drama.”
“Don’t call it communing with my hoes. I don’t have hoes.”
“Said every man ever,” you scoffed.
“I don’t! I spend all day waiting for you to call me, mama,” he came over and pinched your cheek.
“I’ll stab you,” you said, gesturing at him with the paring knife in your hand.
“Kinky. Hey, I know we usually spend weekends together, but Geto has some kind of party going on tonight. So I’m probably going to go to that, and just try to smooth things over.”
“Oh okay. Have fun. I was gonna kick you out anyway. Janelle and I are having dinner.”
Gojo narrowed his eyes, “You know your friendship with Janelle is a little homoerotic.”
“Okay, and Suguru is pressed over you like he’s one of your hoes. At least my homoerotic relationship with my bestie is doing great. Yours is on the rocks. You better bring him some flowers or something.”
“You’re so mean! My friendship is not on the rocks. We’re fine.”
“Uh huh. If Suguru throws a brick through my window, I’m counting him as one of your hoes.”
He chose to ignore what you just said and change the subject, “What are you making?”
“Oh, this is for dinner, I’m making the sweet potatoes early because I have a craving.”
He looked at you, really looked at you and the way the light that streamed in from the window set off your skin like it was made of gold. You were such a pretty woman, which was how he wound up talking about you on live in the first place. No matter what, Gojo really had a pretty baby mama. It was a shallow win, but a win nonetheless. Your hair was shiny, and full and your cheeks were rounder with the weight you’d gained. It served to make you look softer, and perhaps at the peak of femininity. If he thought you’d allow it, he’d have statues made of you like this. He wasn’t set to leave until 9 so he casually invited himself to dinner. You warned Janelle of this much, but assured her that he would be leaving eventually, he was just going to crash dinner. She didn’t mind at all.
“I still think it’s sweet you two spend so much time together.”
“Please don’t start with me. It’s just not worth arguing with him. He’s stubborn as an ass.”
“Stop talking to your friend about my ass,” Gojo said, “Unless of course she wants to see it.”
“I’ll tell Kento,” you threatened.
“I’d show him my ass too. You’d be making my day.”
“Slut,” you threw back at him, only for him to moan loudly.
“Oh, don’t call me such embarrassing names, mommy.”
You grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be an oven mitt and threw it at him.
“I’ll be there in an hour or so,” Janelle answered.
“Okay, and don’t worry, he’ll have dinner and then he’ll leave,” you cut a hard glare at Gojo to let him know that you meant what you said. He just rolled his eyes at you, going back to playing on his phone as he leaned against the kitchen counter.
“Sure. See you soon. Bye.”
“Bye.”
You turned to look at Gojo fully, “You know the least you could do since you’re crashing my dinner plans is help. Take the ends off of these green beans,” you instructed, taking the colander full of rinsed green beans out of the sink.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, putting his phone in his pocket. Silence stretched for a few moments as you grabbed the salmon out of the fridge. It had been soaking in a marinade for maximum flavor. Then you felt the baby move. It was a common occurrence now. It felt like butterflies.
“So you think girls are easier to raise. Any other reason why you were hoping for a girl… now that we know we’re having one?
“It’s really selfish, but I’ve always liked talking to girls better,” he shrugged, “And I was serious about the ego thing. I was awful when I was younger.”
“Was,” you scoffed.
“Believe it or not I’ve matured quite a bit.”
You did believe him. He’d matured a great deal in front of your very eyes while getting ready for this baby with you, “Okay,” you agreed sarcastically nevertheless.
“I was an awful egotistical jerk growing up, and girls aren’t usually like that, and ego suits them well when they have it. Plus, with you as her mom I can’t see her being a nightmare. Besides, when I was growing up I always wanted a little sister to look after. A daughter will do and I’m going to be her favorite so eat your heart out.”
You smiled, “I won’t get in the way of that.” You said that because he seemed to think he would meet opposition with that goal. In fact, you’d like nothing more than for your daughter to have what you didn’t. Even though you and Gojo didn’t do things the “right” way, if your daughter got to having a doting father then you would continue to harbor no regrets over the circumstances of her conception.
“You have absolutely no sense of competition! You’re supposed to say that our daughter will be your mini-me.”
“Well… kids love their mother almost innately. As a mom you have to really mess up for your kid not to love you. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like- I’m creating them inside me. The connection is implicit. For five months, so far, I’ve carried them. And I’ll carry them another 4 to 5 months. But fathers are different. Dads have to want it and I am very happy that you want a connection with our baby. So even if you want to be loved the best… I don’t mind. It makes me happy.”
He looked down at you, noting the little smile on your face as you took out a few things from the kitchen cabinet. Your words made his heart feel… warm, and like it was too big for his chest. There was just something in your voice that told him your words were genuine.
“I think she’ll love you… at least half as much as she loves me.”
You scoffed.
“Between the two of us, how are we gonna figure out how parenting works?”
“Well, lots of reading,” you began, “And I guess at some point I’ll have to accept that I will make mistakes and you will too. I have no idea what the hell dads even do beyond playing catch in the front yard so… good luck I guess. We could always ask Janelle and Kento. I think they came from good homes.”
“We can ask Janelle. I refuse to believe that Nanami’s home life was good with the haircut they let him walk around with in school.”
“Maybe they were just letting him express himself. You didn’t have any weird stages?”
“Well I was homeschooled up until high school.”
“Oh… well that explains a lot actually.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
You just laughed instead of answering, and he insisted on knowing what you meant by that, “I mean this with all the love in the world, but I’ve always wondered if you weren’t lonely, hopping from partner to partner. I mean who really knows Saturo Gojo huh? Not the playboy or the gazillionaire, more like the nerd who sat down and tried to convince me that Digimon was better than Pokemon.”
“Probably Geto… and Shoko but mostly Geto, then there’s you.”
“Hm, it must have been lonely growing up. I know the feeling. I mean I had my mom, but she worked a lot and sometimes it felt like our roles were reversed. Like sometimes I was the mom. It wasn’t until I met Janelle that I didn’t feel so alone.”
“Your mom seems like she’s got it all together.”
You just shrugged, “I spent a lot of time parenting her.”
“Oh well that explains a lot actually,” he said parroting your response to his homeschooling. All you could do was chuckle. You were well aware that your own childhood was starkly reflected in your adulthood. It was why it was so hard for you to let loose, why the first few months of your pregnancy were filled with so much grief. You were the responsible one… a baby hadn’t felt like a responsible decision. It still didn’t, but weirdly enough you were having fun.
By the time Janelle came over with a few fancy Italian sodas and chocolate cake for dessert, dinner was finished. She truly wasn’t at all perturbed by the fact that Gojo was there, something you were grateful for. When you made this arrangement it was supposed to be a girls’ night. The three of you ate in the kitchen at the breakfast nook because the dining room set you ordered hadn’t come in yet. Gojo sat on your right listening to Janelle tell him about a few parties the two of you went to in college. Gojo complimented your cooking more than you could handle, vowing to get you to cook for him more often, to which you reminded him that you didn’t cook _ for _ him now. You cooked for Janelle and he crashed your date. At the end of it all he gave a little sigh.
“Alright, I should go and let you two talk shit about me,” he announced.
“And we will,” Janelle called after him.
“Don’t let her lie down on a full stomach, she’ll get heartburn,” Gojo said absently. You threw a little glare his way as you got up to walk him out. In doing so you put your hand on your belly, a thing you found yourself doing more and more often. It was just where your hand naturally gravitated.
When the two of you were at the door he paused for a moment to give your belly a pat and you found yourself speaking, “Do you think you’ll come back?”
“Miss me already, mama?” one side of his mouth pulled up into a smirk.
You rolled your eyes, “No, I just wanna know so if I hear some movement in the house later on tonight I don’t attack you with a bat or something.”
He snorted at the thought of you coming at him with a baseball bat, “If it’s not too late, I’ll text.”
“Mmkay. Have fun,” you said blithely.
“Oh I’m sure I will,” he turned away from you and you watched him go for a moment. For a couple seconds you got the urge to ask him to stay, but you knew the pregnancy hormones were just making you clingy. You had a fun night planned with Janelle. He should go have fun with his friend too.
When you joined Janelle again she had a bowl of chocolate cake and ice cream waiting for you, “Don’t look so sad. He’s not going off to war. He’s gonna go party. It’s hardly a death sentence.”
“I’m not sad,” you denied, “I was just thinking, jeez.”
“Whatever, you can think about this rom-com.” she said as she pressed play.
Gojo met up with Geto to pick him up for whatever party they were going to go to. Since Gojo wasn’t drinking, he always wound up being the designated driver for nights like these and he didn’t usually mind. He didn’t mind now. He texted Geto to say that he was outside and as he closed out his messages he looked at his home screen. It was a down right goofy picture of you in a furniture store. You’d gotten stuck in a bucket chair. Your belly made it nearly impossible for you to get out on your own and he’d immortalized your state before helping you out. The passenger side door opened and he clicked off his phone before looking at Geto.
“Were you just texting your baby mama?” Geto asked on a heavy sigh.
“No, I wasn’t. I was thinking.”
“About her.”
“And if I was?”
Geto rolled his eyes, “Are you two together?”
“… Not exactly-”
“Look either you want her or you don’t. I mean what’s the hold up?”
“It’s complicated.”
“No, she doesn’t want you and you know it. You only do this when you’re not sure if you’ll get a yes or not. If you’re going to spend all night thinking about her then you don’t have to come.”
“We’re not dating because I don’t want to date! That’s it. She’s having my kid and I want a relationship with them. So if you can stop thinking about her then I’d be happy to go to this damn party. Fuck! Do you want to date her?” Gojo snapped. He was only sort of telling the truth. He didn’t want to date you. No, what he wanted couldn’t be called dating.
Geto chuckled, seemingly unperturbed by Gojo’s outburst, “Maybe. It would be nice to see what all the fuss is about. I mean, she’s got to have good pussy to have you so whipped.”
“You’re an asshole, Geto.”
Geto only laughed, “She’s not my type. Didn’t think she was yours, but what do I know about you?”
If this was how the whole night was going to go, Gojo was going to be back at your house early after all. Either way the sooner he got this night starter the sooner he could pretend to have something important to attend to later and go back to your place. Though he supposed Geto wasn’t entirely wrong. You’d never retracted your statement that you didn’t want to date him. You seemed steadfast in that assessment. You never even slipped up and referred to the two of you as a unit outside of things that had to do with the baby. It was like the first time he saw you all over again. He usually had a good gauge for when people found him attractive, it wasn’t so easy with you. Maybe it was because he wanted you to like him from the first time he looked at you, with those big glasses and even bigger smile. You seemed so ambivalent. Even though the two of you were pretty regularly having sex he could never tell if it was just an itch you needed scratched. He’d told you he’d rather be the one to do it, so it was just another service of his that you were using. He really was pining over a woman who he wasn’t sure even wanted him beyond what he could do for you. And if he retracted those services you wouldn’t even care. You would simply find a way to do it yourself. That was the double edge sword of your independence. You didn’t need him and he felt it. It was a new situation for Gojo and he wasn’t sure how to handle it.
After a long time, Geto spoke, “I don’t mean to be an asshole. I just worry about you. You’re putting all your eggs in a basket that isn’t even yours. You’re an idiot and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I’m not as stupid as everyone seems to think I am.”
“Yeah, but you’re bad at understanding how people feel about you. Not just shallow stuff like sex or whatever. You really fucking suck at real emotions and I’d hate to see you be all in with someone and she just fucking throws it in your face, alright.”
“Hey, she’s just the mother of my child. I want my kid to grow up a certain way and that means being sure that she has what she needs to do that. That’s all. Let’s just have fun. You’ve had a stick up your ass for months. I’m trying to fix that.”
Geto rolled his eyes before laughing, “Fuck you. You’re the one leaving me behind to be a dad.”
“I’m not leaving you behind. You get to be a fun uncle. Shoko’s already all in on the wine aunt thing.”
“I definitely thought that Shoko was gonna wind up with a baby first. I figured her and her girlfriend would adopt.”
“Me too. But I beat her to it. Kids are fun.”
Geto relented and Gojo knew that he would. Geto actually liked kids and Gojo wasn’t going to say so but he definitely thought that Geto was going to settle down and make a family long before he did.
They entered the club and immediately climbed the steps to VIP, joining the group of people already partying in Geto’s honor. It quickly felt like old times. Gojo poured alcohol into beautiful women’s mouths, danced under the pulsing club lights to music so loud he could feel the bass in his chest. He flirted just to flirt, because the attention felt nice and it was funny to watch people get all worked up over him.
“Satoru!” Geto called at some point deep in the night when Gojo was beginning to look at the time. It already seemed a bit too late to try to go back to your place anyway. It was almost 2 AM. Gojo turned to see Geto coming his way with two women.
“A little someone to keep your mind off of your phone,” Geto winked.
Gojo sighed as he looked at the tall blond at Geto’s side. She looked him up and down the way all women looked at Gojo… well most women. You did not look at him that way, not even at your horniest. She immediately latched on to his arm. He bought her a drink and listened to her talk as best as he could with the music blasting. She was his type he guessed, or the type he usually attracted anyway. She was there for a good time and asked if he danced so he indulged her. He had to admit he was having fun. It felt natural to do the things he used to do before he found out you were pregnant and his life was going to change so rapidly. It was familiar and comfortable.
You couldn’t sleep. Janelle left at around midnight after Nanami called to check on her. You lived right around the corner from her so it was no big deal that she was out late. She texted you within five minutes of leaving to tell you she was home. You’d been up ever since, struck with the strange urge to tidy up, and then to read, before eventually you were just lying in bed watching and old action flick that Gojo recommended. The source of your restlessness was probably the fact that your baby was moving. It felt like there were literal butterflies in your stomach. She was restless tonight. It happened from time to time but you could usually just make it Gojo’s problem.
At around 3 you sent a text to him because you figured he was awake: Still up, baby won’t let me sleep. I’m blaming you for this.
Gojo’s phone buzzed while he was sitting in a booth at a random diner trying to think of a way out of his current engagement. He looked at it, and was surprised to see your name. The woman at his side tried to peer at his phone and he moved the screen so she couldn’t see.
“I’m beat,” Gojo announced, “Geto what’s your move? Are you leaving or staying?”
“Come on, Satoru, I know you were having quite a bit of fun with tall, blond, and ditzy.”
Gojo grit his teeth, “I’m tired. I’m going to call it a night.”
“Well, we could always take this party to our place. We’re roommates… and you and your friend are cute.”
Geto gave him a pleading look. Gojo had already gone farther than he meant to go. He shook his head, taking out his wallet to put cash on the table.
“I’m going home. Call a ride, you two can have him all to yourself.”
Gojo got up in spite of Geto’s protests. He wanted to go back to you. It was just some dancing, some very close dancing and then shekissed him. He pulled away… eventually. He forgot himself for a second. Things felt like they used to. He felt utterly weightless without a care in the world, he forgot about you. You were having his baby and being with you it didn’t feel weightless. Sometimes it felt incredibly heavy, thinking about having a baby and being somebody’s father, but none of that was your fault. It was a harmless moment of… he wouldn’t even call it weakness because the two of you weren’t dating. It was just a harmless moment. He assured himself of this the entire ride back to your place. He called before coming in and you answered, voice as alert as ever.
“I’m coming in.”
“Oh okay. See you,” you agreed easily. He didn’t really know whyhe did what he did… but it didn’t feel good, knowing how opposite it was from what he truly wanted. He came inside, locked the door behind him and went up to your bedroom. He could hear the T.V., and he see the flickering light of it as it played the movie he’d recommended to you a while ago. When he came in, you wrinkled your nose.
“Ew you smell like cigarettes and bar. Go take a shower before you even touch my bed.”
“That was the plan.” He went over to the dresser and opened up the drawer full of his clothes. It was mostly stuff that you stole from him and a couple of sweatpants he’d left over here. He was sure he’d feel better after a shower.
When he joined you, you were quick to cuddle into his side as you always did. He was warm and he smelled a bit like you from using your soaps. You went to rest your head on his shoulder and a mark caught your eye. It looked a bit like a bruise and then you realized it was probably a hickey… you couldn’t remember if you gave that to him or not.
“Shit, when did I do that?” you said reaching out to touch it gingerly.
“Do what?”
“This hickey. I know sometimes I’m a little rough with you, but I don’t recall doing that.”
“You’re always trying to eat me up, mama,” he said innocuously, grinning like a mad man.
You just rolled your eyes, “Maybe I’ll make like a mantis and bite off your head,” you settled your head on his shoulder.
Gojo hired movers to get all of your stuff from your apartment to the new house. It was done while you were at work. He assured you that before your things were moved in there were people who deep cleaned and made sure that house was ready for your things. By the time you got off of work Gojo was in the house. He was impressed by just how neatly labeled the boxes were. The last time he had to move he just tossed things in boxes and moved on. Since you labeled everything the movers put them in their respective rooms. Gojo put your bed back together for you so that at the end of this you would have someplace to sleep.
You walked into the house with your mother at your side. She called during your break and asked to see the new place. The two of you got dinner, and you were able to discuss the happier sides of a baby in the family. You were glad that you finally told her. In the end, both Janelle and Gojo had been right. You needed the support more than you realized. Obviously the place was bare looking, and you weren’t surprised to find that most of your stuff was centralized in the front room. Your apartment was pretty small. You were only one person after all. It always seemed unnecessary to get a bigger space when it was just you.
“Oooh this is nice,” your mom gasped, looking around the spacious room.
“It is, Satoru’s spoiling me.” It was easier to admit such things to your mother. Despite your occasional disagreements, she did know a part of you that no one else did. You hesitated to say that she knew you better than anyone, she simply had the longest knowledge of you. And now being pregnant yourself, you were beginning to understand the near implicit bond between mother and child.
“I’m really trying to understand why this boy ain’t my son in law.”
“Ma,” you complained, “First of all, I have to get a proposal for that to happen. I’m not getting down on one knee for a man. It’s not going to happen. Second, we are very amicable as we are. I don’t want to start any drama because things have been smooth sailing.”
“You don’t wanna rock the boat with me, mama?” Gojo asked as he came down the stairs. You shrieked in surprise whirling around to look towards the staircase. You hadn’t noticed his car out front and that thing was hard to miss. Maybe he’d parked in the garage.
Gojo came down wearing a white t-shirt and sweatpants, clothes that were conducive to unpacking stuff, it was just criminal that he looked so good in it. His biceps stretched the sleeves a little as he crossed his arms. You were making a conscious decision not to look at his sweatpants for too long.
“Satoru, I didn’t know you were here.” You said as you put your hand on your chest.
“I was just putting together some of your furniture so you would have a place to rest tonight if you didn’t want to come home with me,” he said casually, right in front of your mother.
Your face was on fire and you watched Gojo’s attention shift from you to your mother. You hurried to introduce them both and you refused to look at the curious pointed stares your mom kept giving the two of you. There was no way you were going to explain to her that despite all your words condemning the idea that you and Gojo were dating… you did sleep with him on occasion and even more confounding sometimes the two of you didn’t even have sex. Sometimes you really were just sleeping.
Satoru visibly turned up the charm as he close the distance between the three of you, “It’s really nice to meet you. I was wondering where Y/N got her good looks from.”
“Yeah that’s all me. These genes are strong. So don’t be surprised when my grandbaby pops out looking just like us.”
“Oh I’m hoping she does,” Gojo answered, his gaze lingering on you. You were officially showing. People knew you were pregnant with just a look at your belly. He thought it was absolutely adorable, and he was waiting for you to adopt the pregnant waddle but you weren’t big enough for that at the moment.
You cleared your throat, trying not to acknowledge the way that Gojo was looking at you, right in front of your mother, “I was just going to give mom a tour of the house.”
“Yeah, come on,” Gojo nodded excitedly, “I’ll lead the way.”
The tour youwere going to give your mother, quickly turned into the tour that Gojo was giving your mother. Not that she had any complaints. Quite the opposite, she was standing around laughing at his corny jokes and telling him little anecdotes about you when you were younger. Gojo won your mother over within 15 minutes and you watched it happen in real time.
“This is the room I think Y/N fell in love with. It’s going to be the nursery,” Gojo began, and then he went into great detail about where he thought the crib should go, and putting in the perfect rocker, maybe even painting the ceiling because apparently it’s good for babies to be able to take in as much visual information as possible. You had to admit… you were a bit charmed too.
“This place won’t be ready in time for a baby shower will it?” Your mom asked at the end of the tour, when the three of you wound up in the kitchen. Gojo absently put his arm over your shoulder, hugging you into his side as he talked.
“I don’t think so. Maybe downstairs could be, but I have no intention of having our baby shower here.”
“Janelle is throwing my baby shower, Satoru.” You reminded him, more for his sake than anything else. Janelle could be scary when it came to you, especially the things she wanted to do for you.
“And I’m helping. I’ve already talked to her about it, so don’t start complaining. It’s done.”
You narrowed your eyes. You were going to have to talk to Janelle about that later.
“Well I’ll make the cake,” your mom offered and your eyes went wide.
“Please do,” you nodded emphatically.
Your sudden excitement caught Gojo’s attention, “Are you known for your cakes?”
You answered for your mother, turning to look at him with wide eyes, “Oh yeah, it’s a thing among our friends and family. She did Janelle’s wedding cake.”
Gojo remembered that cake well. Nanami wouldn’t tell him what bakery he got it from. It was probably the best cake he’d had in his whole life. He spent the better part of a year taste testing cakes off and on in hopes of finding it.
“Really? That was the best cake I’ve ever had. Have you ever thought about opening up a bakery?”
Your mother waved him off, “I do it out of love. Money would ruin it. Just tell me how many guests y’all are expecting, and I’ll make something for you,” she concluded. She gave you two one more look and her eyes narrowed a little bit before she spoke again, “Well, it was nice to meet you, Satoru. I’m gonna head home.”
“Alright, Mom, I’ll walk you out.” You shrugged out from under Gojo’s arm to follow your mother outside. When you got to your car she stepped close to you. You already knew what she was going to say. She’d probably picked up on the way Gojo touched you so freely. She was going to tell you not to be fooled by a man, and to keep your guard up.
“Now I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life… but there’s something there between you two. And for what it’s worth. You make a handsome couple.”
“Alright, mom,” you were a little bemused by her words. You expected her disappointment, not her approval. Either way, you couldn’t accept her words. She didn’t really know Gojo. If he wanted to be in a relationship with you he would be. The two of you were perfectly comfortable as you were, simply getting ready to have this baby and nothing else. Anything that happened in between was just his own way of taking care of you that you couldn’t bring yourself to make sense of beyond knowing that the sex was good and you didn’t care to go looking for anyone else who could give it to you.
When you came back inside you found Gojo collecting the pieces of your entertainment center to put together. When he saw you coming over he grabbed a little stool for you to sit on instead of letting you sit on the floor like he was.
“So… that’s my mom.” You said to break the silence.
“She seems nice.” He did not look up as he said this, instead inspecting the label ziplock baggie of little screws and things that went along with the entertainment center. You were careful to keep each one with the set.
You nodded but with your own personal reservations. She was mostly nice, but you thought most children felt that way about their moms. Your mother was kind, but there was a cruelty ingrained in her parenting that was simply passed down from one cursed generation to the next. You were hoping to break that cycle with your baby. Nevertheless, you did not resent your mother much for the cruelty she inherited. Again, you were sure most people felt this way about their mothers, you wondered if your own child would feel this way about you in the end.
“Do you think she likes me?” Gojo asked looking up at you. His eyes were such powerful things, blue like seaglass, and like the full moon all at once. Whatever cosmic intently was in charge of making humans, truly outdid themselves with him, and you thought it suited him ill sometimes. He was too pretty for his own good.
You moved his hair out of his face before answering, “Yeah, I do.”
“Good. You know I was thinking-”
“Oh no.”
“Hey! I have some good ideas.”
“Eh,” you cringed a little thinking of the day he thought it was a good idea to try to bake cookies on the broil setting so that it would go faster and he almost burnt his house down.
“I think this one is a good idea.” He concluded begrudgingly.
“Fine, lay it on me. What’s going through that massive dome of yours?”
He frowned, “Well I was going to say that we should get married but now I don’t think you deserve me.”
Your eyes felt like they might bulge out of your head at his words, “Satoru, are you serious right now?”
“I mean think about it. Isn’t that what people do? They have a baby, and a house, and they get married.”
“Not in that order, and definitely not before they do any actual dating.”
“Come on, what have you got to lose? I mean I’m the one taking on all the risks. Sure prenups exist, but what’s the likelihood that you’re taking a prenup that cuts you off from my assets and-”
“Pause, whoa, timeout! Why are we talking about prenups?! I haven’t even agreed to marry you. Satoru, we’re not even dating!”
“But… we do work well together. And it would make it easier to just get things done for our baby.”
You took a deep breath, “Satoru, I appreciate everything that you’re doing for me. I really do, but I have no desire to be married to you. We’ve only been hanging out regularly for like five months.”
“My parents got married in two.”
You winced, “I mean this… in the nicest way possible, but did your parents love each other?”
You watched his brain stall. It was always obvious when you’d said something that Gojo had never really thought about before. You’d realized, with a bit of a start, months ago that Gojo was an incredibly smart man, he only behaved like an idiot. Despite months passing between now and this realization you did not understand why he behaved how he did. He could be more organized in his living, he could be married to someone he loved and have a family… because he seemed to desire that in some capacity, but now as his eyes went distant you wondered if he knew what he was looking for. There was a time in your own life when you sought out the arms of a lover to heal that which you’d lacked in your childhood, but you quickly realized you would never find it that way. You had been looking for a parent. You wondered what deficit Gojo was unconsciously trying to fill.
Gojo searched the recesses of his memory, for a moment in which he had looked at his parents and saw love between them. They were civil to one another, but they were more like ghosts, passing through one another, never really touching.
“… I don’t know,” he answered, “They weren’t very affectionate people. Now that I think about it… it was probably more of a business agreement.”
He looked so utterly dejected as he said this. You turned so you could take his face in your hands. Whatever it was that Gojo was looking for… you sorta hoped he found it before the baby was born. Neither of you could expect to be fully healed individuals but you could at least be healing individuals.
“I think you are a great guy, Satoru. You’re a little ridiculous, but you’ve got a good heart and if I accepted your proposal it wouldn’t be because we were madly in love. It would just be about money and assets, and I don’t want a marriage like that. It might be easier for the baby, but I don’t think I would be happy. I can’t believe I’m about to say this to you of all people, but let’s just let this be fun okay. Stop worrying about all you can do for us and just live in the moment. You’re doing great so far.”
His cheeks were rapidly getting red and he turned away from you sharply before clearing his throat, “Stop being nice to me before I fuck you.”
You let out a breathless, relieved laugh. You were afraid he was going to be offended by your rejection, “When I’m mean it turns you on, when I’m nice, it turns you on. I’m starting to think you just always wanna fuck me.”
“Well, you’re not wrong,” he sighed.
The two of you worked on unpacking things until about nightfall, and you knew that you wouldn’t sleep well in this new place, definitely not alone. So you went searching for the big duffle bag you put together for things that you would need on the first night and Gojo picked it up for you to take to his place. The bedroom was habitable, but then Gojo enticed you with snacks and a comfortable place to watch movies. You didn’t really care that it was a weekday. It just meant that you drove to his place and would leave there in the morning. You had work clothes in your bag.
You told Gojo what time you had to be at work in the morning after you got out of the shower. You were wearing his house coat which went all the way down to your ankle, but was comfy nonetheless. Besides, it smelled like him, that sweet yet strikingly clean gourmand scent. You wondered if there was mint in his shampoo or something. Or maybe it was the bushel of fresh eucalyptus in his shower. You’d mentioned once that you’d been congested, a weird byproduct of pregnancy, and the very next day there was eucalyptus in his shower. Either way, you liked how Gojo smelled, not that you would ever say anything about it. And you certainly would never tell him that you missed that smell when the two of you went days without seeing each other.
“I actually have to go into the office tomorrow too,” Gojo said, begrudgingly. He was lying on his side. It looked like he was simply looking at you, but he was studying the way the too big bathrobe failed to fully preserve your modesty. He was staring at the space between your breasts in the open neck of the robe.
You frowned, “You have a job?”
“… Yes. I’m the heir, and owner of my family’s company,” he answered, actually focusing on you, and you realized that he thought you knew, “Babe, I’m in charge of a multimillion dollar business.” He sat up a little bit as he said this, propping his chin up in his palm.
“… Why is your house so small?” It wasn’t a small house, but it wasn’t a megamansion either.
“I’m one person. Mansions freak me out with all the empty space. Plus, this place is closer to my friends.”
“So buying me a house really meant nothing to you.”
“Financially? No. It was barely anything.”
“Satoru, please don’t tell me that you’re just slummingit with me. I’m literally going to lose my mind.”
“Slumming- No. I like being around my friends. I’ve lived here since before my parents died. I could have moved to the mansion when they died but I hate that place. Trust me, I am where I want to be. Now will you stop fretting, put on your granny nightgown and get in bed.”
You scowled at him. It wasn’t a granny nightgown. It was a nightgown that was fashioned like a long shirt and it was comfy.
“I gotta find my cocoa butter,” you grumbled, still troubled by the fact that you were only just now realizing what Gojo did for a living. You probably should have asked sooner. He could have been a kingpin for all you knew, and you were just frolicking the day away at his side. For all the credit people gave you for being smart, more often than not you felt really fucking stupid. You found the jar in your bag and tossed on the bed. You put on regular lotion in the bathroom, but your skin was so dry lately that you felt the need to seal the moisture in with cocoa butter.
Gojo kept his eyes on you as you sat on the bed. You let the robe fall off your shoulders and it lie open on the bed revealing your naked back. The curves of your body had changed quite a bit since the beginning of your pregnancy. Your hips were wider and your middle was a good deal thicker. You were just really pretty. It was hard to look away from you and every passing second of him knowing that you were naked over there made him want to touch you.
“Is that for your belly?” he asked, moving closer to you.
“Well my whole body, but it helps with stretch marks, and it keeps my skin from itching really badly as my belly grows. It’s awful when I get dry skin.”
“Can I do it?”
“Uh.. well I’m almost done,” you said, but you felt the bed move and you looked over your shoulder to see him crawling towards you. He settled behind you, his long legs settled on either side of yours putting you right between them. He took the jar away from you and you just resigned yourself to your fate. Once he decided he was going to do something for you, there was really no helping it. Plus his hands were always warm, and they were smooth and covered far more surface area. He rubbed across the gentle slope of your belly. It wasn’t the most dramatic baby bump given that you were only 18 weeks, but it was still there. His hands on your stomach always felt so nice, though his touch was awakening something you kinda hoped would stay dormant.
“Hm, smells like chocolate.”
“Is it because-”
“No, it’s not because you’re black.”
You giggled at his cross tone, only for him to kiss your shoulder. It was downright embarrassing just how quickly he could get you wound up. Just one kiss and you were already pressing your legs together.
“You know, if someone told me back then, on New Year’s Eve that taking you home was gonna lead to this… I never would have believed it,” Gojo said.
You chuckled, “I would have ran for the hills.”
He paused in rubbing your belly, “Do you regret it, then? That night.”
You thought about it for a long time. You thought about how much you laughed that night, the way your hand felt in his as he led you into his house, how you both giggled like mad in between kisses.
“No, I don’t actually,” you said, much to your own surprise, and you turned to look up at him. He seemed to search your gaze for a moment, searching for your regret you supposed. Genuinely though, you had none. All of your needs were met, and Gojo was very kind to you. He was kind in his own way, and in ways that anyone could recognize. And as far as baby daddies go you could have done farworse. It was a luxury to have the father of your child be successful, handsome, and interested in being in your child’s life. You were going to tell him as much but you noticed his focus was on your lips.
He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours, a slow kiss, almost tentative like he was waiting for you to push him away. You did not. You turned more so that you could face him, slowly getting on your knees in the wide space between his legs. It put you a bit taller than him to be standing on your knees this way. His hands came to grasp your hips tightly. You held his face in your hands as you let your tongue move with his. When you pulled away he still had his eyes closed.
“Get off the edge, baby. You’re making me nervous,” he said after a moment, slowly moving backward so you had room to be more on the bed. When the two of you were safely in the middle of the bed he pulled you in closer, only to get his mouth on your chest.
“Fuck,” you sighed, because you were never going to used to the feeling of the hard metal ball of his tongue ring against your nipples that were always hypersensitive at this point. You had your hand in his hair immediately, encouraging what seemed to be an effort for him to get your whole titty in his mouth. Simultaneously, he was gripping your thighs, making you straddle him. He was wearing nothing but soft pajama pants and the bare skin to skin contact was dizzying. He was always so warm, and you wanted to be touching all of him. He went to take over and presumably put you on your back.
“I can’t lie on my back. It’s kinda uncomfortable.”
He kept you in his lap instead and he kissed you. Gojo kissed you like it might be the only thing he’d ever do. The two of you found yourself like this more often than you’d like to admit, particularly in his car, for late night grocery runs for hyper specific cravings. If you weren’t pregnant, and if Gojo was less cautious, you’d have had sex in his car at least 4 times by now. As it was, it worried him to have you in such an enclosed place. And unfortunately, once you got in a bed there was a good chance you would just pass out. But right now? Right now was perfect. You rolled your hips in his lap, trying to alleviate the ache between your legs.
His hands were searching for purchase on your body, a place to hold you that wouldn’t hurt you. You could almost taste his frustration. You pushed him down on the bed.
“I got it,” you said as you took his hands off of your hips and leaned forward to press his wrists against the bed over his head. His cheeks were already red tinged, but it was a special delight to watch them darken as he looked up at you. His gaze dropped to your chest and he was trying to shimmy down to get to your boobs. You rolled your eyes and leaned forward to put them in his face.
“Oh you’re spoiling me,” he said, though his voice was a bit muffled. You lifted up to look at him, and maybe to make fun of him for being so obsessed with your chest, but he spoke first.
“Sit on my face,” he said immediately.
“Satoru, I’m pretty heavy now and-”
“I didn’t ask all that. In fact, I didn’t ask at all. Come sit on my face.”
You huffed, letting go of his wrists so that you could crawl towards his face. When you were over him, he grabbed your hips and pulled you down until your sex with his on his mouth. You couldn’t really see much of him in this position thanks to your belly, but that was the least of your worries. He wasn’t holding back with you at all. You put a hand back on his chest for a bit of stability as he teased your clit directly, sucking and licking it until your thighs started to quiver. It didn’t take long. You were only getting more sensitive these days and Gojo was good at what he did.
He liked the sounds you made, the way you smelled, the way you tasted. He liked the way your belly eclipsed his view of the world. He liked you. He had his eyes closed just bathing in the sensations of your pleasure and letting it arouse his own. He’d always been more of a giver… in relationships. Or rather the handful of times he tried a relationship: he could count them on one hand. It was never this satisfying though and his casual partners were eager to impress in hopes that he would keep them around. But this? You? The one who never intended to stay long, you had him by the mouth and he knew you didn’t even know it.
“Ah! Shit! Satoru,” You gasped as he sucked harder, taking on a slow pulsing rhythm. He’d wrapped his arms behind your thighs so you weren’t going anywhere.
“You bitch!” you exclaimed before sliding the fingers of your other hand in his hair and making a fist. He seemed set on making it impossible for you to even breathe as all of your muscles locked down with pleasure.
When you came he eased back a bit, as if slowly weening you from the pleasure of his mouth. You fell over to the side, legs feeling like jello.
“Tired already?”
“No, you’re going to fuck me,” you said pointing at him as he crawled towards you. You were lying on your side catching your breath.
“Why did you make that sound like a threat? That’s what I wanted to do anyway,” he said as he laid down behind you, wiggling a bit to take off his pajama pants before he pressed against your backside.
“Fuck you’re so soft,” he breathed rutting his hips against you while he kissed along your shoulder, to your neck.
“Mmhm, I’m perfect,” you giggled.
“Yeah you are,” he agreed, bringing a hand down to rub your belly and then up to your breasts just to hear the sweet sounds you made when he squeezed them. He lifted your leg once he could hardly stand not being inside of you anymore.
Gojo refused to think too much about it, but other women didn’t interest him very much anymore. It all seemed so arbitrary and boring when he could just be with you. He could just be at your side, or inside you, if you let him, only if you let him. This was perfect.
“You’re so perfect,” he breathed as he pushed inside of you. He took his time as always, utterly unbothered by the slow pace, too caught up in kissing your neck and listening to the sweet sound you made for him to care that he was moving at a snail’s pace. But once he was fully inside of you he built the pace.
“Oh my god!” you cried out before turning your face towards the pillow.
“No, no let me hear you,” He slowed all the way back down.
“Satoru, dammit,” you cursed at him, “Come on, please.”
“There we go, don’t hide from me, beautiful. I want to see you.”
Instinctively you looked across the room at the mirror on the far wall and saw yourself, one leg in the air, with Gojo hugged close behind you, fucking every thought out of your head. You leaned back against him, easily falling into his embrace. The moment you turned your head towards him he was kissing you.
He came with you whining and moaning in his mouth. And he had one solitary thought as he pressed his forehead against yours while you both came down from your highs: He could do this forever.
~
Two weeks later, when you were 20 weeks along, the two of you met up at the doctor’s office. You were coming straight from work and Gojo said that he had been looking for a reliable team of painters to come by and quickly make your house look the way you wanted it. This doctor’s appointment was the one that Gojo had been waiting for. He was practically bouncing in his seat in the waiting room. The two of you would likely learn the baby’s sex today, and he was ecstatic. You were a little tired from work, so you couldn’t match his enthusiasm, but he had more than enough for the two of you.
“So when I’m right, I want you to know that we’re not going to paint the nursery pink,” Gojo told you, “I know I said I wouldn’t be a tyrant but come on pink?”
You nodded, and caught the gaze of an older woman looking at the two of you fondly.
When she noticed your gaze she smiled, “You two are adorable. I wish my husband was as excited about our babies.”
Gojo gave her a smile before continuing, “And not purple either. I personally think that we should do a story book theme. Because I tell the best stories.”
“Are you going to do all the painting?”
“Of course, you can’t be in there with the paint fumes.”
“Alright, then. We can look at cribs after this.”
He gasped, “That’s a good idea. See? Between the two of us this is gonna work out wonderfully.”
You just leaned over and kissed his cheek. Funny enough it made him go quiet for a moment, just until he did the same to you.
“What’s the matter, you’re not even arguing with me,” he asked while he was still close to you.
“I’m just sleepy. It’s time for a nap.”
“Oh, are you sure about going crib shopping?”
“Yeah, yeah I’ll get a second wind if I just push through.”
He put his arm over your shoulder and pulled you close, so that your head rested against his chest a bit.
“I really wore you out last night didn’t I?” he said in your ear and you smacked his leg before sitting up. The night before you did get hit with a heavy wave of desire and rode Gojo for all he was worth. You’d tired yourself out. You didn’t know why it happened. He would be doing something completely innocuous, like cooking, or reading one of the many baby books he bought and you would get the urge to have sex with him. It didn’t seem to bother Gojo in the least. No he was all too eager to take care of you in that respect.
“Shut up,” your whole body was hot with mortification though.
Before the two of you could really start bickering you got called back. Gojo followed right on your heels. He waited impatiently as you went through the regular exam parts, and you answered your obstetrician’s questions. He sat texting Geto until the ultrasound equipment came out. To be fair he wasn’t having the most pleasant conversation with Geto.
New noodle place. Let’s go
Can’t in appointment with Y/N
It’s a wednesday!
Yes so sorry they don’t have weekend appointments
You’ve been at her house or she’s been at yours for the last few weeks.
I know and I’m sorry. If you don’t care about Y/N being there then we can all go to the noodle place
Whatever
so is that a no????
Then they brought in the ultrasound equipment and Gojo put his phone away. Before long the screen was on and he was looking at the screen, and it wasn’t long before there was the perfect image of a little baby on it. It never stopped being amazing to him, so see his own child like this.
“Alright, we’re looking healthy. Baby is seated in there just perfectly,” Dr. Johnson moved the wand a bit and then she said, “You two wanted to know the sex of the baby right?”
“Yes,” Gojo answered immediately, before you could even open your mouth.
You laughed as did Dr. Johnson. She looked to you for your answer.
“What are the bets?” She asked.
“He’s putting all his chips on a girl. I don’t really mind either way,” you said.
“Well, Dad, you’ve got one hell of an intuition because we are looking at a beautiful baby girl.”
Gojo laughed and you looked at his wide grin as he kept staring at the monitor.
“It’s not 100% accurate. I’m just eyeballing but-”
“I have a long family history of show-ers. If you’re not seeing it then-”Gojo began but stopped when you hit his arm, “Ow.”
“Why would you say that?” You hissed at him.
Dr. Johnson just laughed, “I’m pretty sure you’re having a girl. Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
“Same amount of pictures as always, Mr. Gojo.”
“Yep,” he said proudly.
Dr. Johnson left you with a few tissues to clean off the ultrasound gel as she talked you through what the next month would look like. It was pretty much just time to get big, with plenty of round ligament pain to look forward to. Gojo asked when he might be able to start feeling the baby’s kick and was adorably crestfallen when she said it might be a good while longer.
As you left out of the doctor’s office the two of you shopped around a bit for cute furniture for the house. You picked out a few pieces that would be shipped to the house. Gojo took his time fawning over baby cribs.
“Look, this one is a circle!” he said pointing at the crib.
“Ah yes, for baby fight night,” you said in jest.
“It does kind of look like an arena. Okay what about this! It’s in the shape of a moon!”
“And it’s nearly a thousand dollars. Satoru, she will have this crib for maybe two years, three is pushing it. There’s no need to go all out.”
“But I want it to be fun.”
“I think she’ll have plenty of fun with you as her father. She can have a normal crib.”
“You’ve been really nice to me lately. You’re not falling for me are you?” he bumped into your shoulder lightly.
You hummed, “Baby’s making me soft. Plus it’s true. I’m sure she’ll have a ball with you.”
“Thanks. You’re gonna be great too. Not as fun as me obviously.”
“Oh obviously,” you laughed.
“But still good.”
“Thanks.” You nodded, eyes slowly blinking closed as you struggled to look to stay fully alert.
“You look dead on your feet, mama.”
“Yeah, I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m tired as fuck. Work really took it out of me. I wound up on the phone with this doctor all day trying to figure out the status of a prescription. It was a mess.”
“When are you going to take your maternity leave? You know you don’t have to keep working… in fact I’d like it better if you didn’t.”
“Oh why? So I can lay in your bed with open legs all day.”
“Well I wouldn’t say no to that, but just so you won’t be in pain. And we can get ready for the baby. And then when she’s born so you can spend time with her.”
“I like my job. Today was a bitch, but I like the other pharmacists, and I like my regulars. Plus they never make me stand long. I’ve got my only little place to sit. Plus, I’ve been shadowing for a better position. Pays more with fewer hours. So everything is going to plan.”
“Right, you are the one with the plan.”
You nodded, “I intend to work up until the week of my due date and then go on leave for six months. I’ve already cleared it with my boss, and she says it won’t affect my standing for my promotion and I have that in writing.”
“Wow, and what will you do when you have to go back?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like with the baby? We could hire a nanny-”
Your eyes widened behind the lenses of your glasses and you seemed so genuinely bewildered and crestfallen, “I thought she would stay with you, Satoru.”
“You… you trust me enough for that? But what if I’m no good? I’ve never taken care of a baby before. What if I mess up?” It was his turn to look incredibly worried.
Your worry fell away immediately, “I’m not worried about that. We’ve got six months to figure it out together, plus my mom will probably help you out. You’ll be alright.”
“I’m glad one of us has faith in me.”
You laughed, “This is the first time I’ve ever seen you be unsure of yourself. If I didn’t believe in you, I wouldn’t have taken this journey with you, Satoru.”
You and Gojo decided that you would wait to tell everyone the sex of the baby until the baby shower so that people wouldn’t automatically start getting pink gifts. Gojo hired painters for the new house so that everything could be done before your furniture came. That meant you couldn’t be in the house because of the fumes. You’d kind of gotten used to living with Gojo anyway. You felt cold in the morning if he wasn’t right behind you, resting his chin on your head while you tried to make yourself a cup of tea. And maybe it was too quiet on the rare moments when you woke up and Gojo was gone to do important business person stuff. You didn’t understand his job, and he, mercifully, did not try to explain it. All you knew was that he was drop dead gorgeous in a suit and you often thought about getting fucked in a corner office, so there was that.
For once you were hanging out with Janelle on a saturday, the two of you usually convened after you got off from work but she’d been incredibly busy this month and you were… well you were with Gojo.
“The two of you are reallycozy. You can’t tell me there’s nothing there. I won’t believe you.”
You huffed a little laugh, “I don’t know. We make a good team. I’ve been really happy,” you said and the truth of your own words surprised you, “I didn’t expect him to be so reliable. I mean he’s an idiot. And he sends me thirst traps at inappropriate times, but… he’s dependable which I think I needed more than I thought I did. I’ve always just kinda been good by myself you know. And of course I know you’re there for me, but it’s not the same as a partner. And I spent all this time completely sure that I was fine, never finding anyone who I could just fall into step with and then Satoru of all people knocks me up.”
“Life is funny like that. Remember when I thought people who get married after a year of dating were delusional?” She said and you laughed because she and Kento got married after one year of dating. They just knew.
“Well, you are delusional.”
“Oh shut up,” she laughed.
“There’s not a label on it but I think I really like him and I feel like he really likes me.”
“I think it’s okay to go slowly in this. You’ve got a baby between the two of you. Rash decisions can cause for unnecessary heartbreak. For once in your life you’re just having fun,” she teased.
You laughed, “I guess you’re right. And I’m really happy about it. So you can tell Kento to stop sending Gojo the death glare every time he sees us together.”
“Never going to happen!” Nanami called from the kitchen.
“You nosey, eavesdropper!” Janelle yelled back.
For a while you thought you were envious of the bond Nanami and Janelle had. Obviously you didn’t want either of thembut that type of camaraderie appealed to you. When you’d picture the kind of man that you’d want you pictured the strong silent type. But in retrospect, that never would have worked. You felt very well matched with Gojo.
Chapter 4: You attend Janelle’s birthday party and it brings forth the complication that, technically, you can Gojo aren’t dating despite the fact that all other evidence points to the contrary.
By the time Janelle’s birthday party rolled around you were 16 weeks pregnant and you had new ultrasound pictures to give her with her birthday present. You were scrambling to finish writing the note on her card so you could put the pictures in, seal the envelope and toss it in the gift bag. Despite knowing this was coming up, you still found a way to be rushing at the last minute in your defense though, the dress you wanted to wear no longer fit so you had to scramble to find something else which ate up your time. You’d wanted to wear a dress with more volume in the skirt but the only things that fit you were your soft stretchy dress that clung to your body. They made you look so obviously pregnant and if not pregnant then just like a sausage. Your stomach was very prominent. One tiny little breakdown about it later, you had to redo your makeup and find a little cardigan to wear with it.
Gojo came to pick you up as he said he would. You just didn’t expect him to come up. He knocked on the door while you were scrambling around. There were a good amount of boxes lying about as you got ready to move to the new house. You opened the door and he raised an eyebrow at you.
“Are you okay?”
“Rough morning. I’m almost done. Will you grab that gift bag while I go get my purse?”
“Yeah, what was so rough about your morning!” He asked as you walked away.
“My old clothes don’t fit, I feel like a fucking rectangle in this dress! And my hair wouldn’t cooperate!” You listed off your grievances one by one. When you came back Gojo looked at you and he really couldn’t tell what your problem with your hair was, or your dress. Your skin had this ethereal glow to it that was making his heart race.
“You look perfect, shut up,” he scoffed.
“Don’t tell me to shut up,” you complained, punching him with half strength in the stomach.
“Ow go get in the car, gremlin!”
The cackle you let out in response definitely made sure you lived up to the name. You and Gojo continued to bicker all the way to Janelle and Nanami’s place and then even more the very moment you got out of his car. You didn’t like that Gojo kept putting his hand on top of your head and trying to guide you around by it. The two of you fussing at each other caught Janelle’s attention inside. She opened the front door to see you punch Gojo hard enough for him to take his hand away so he could hold the place where your fist struck.
“Colossal Titan built motherfucker!“ you said before swinging again but Gojo dodged that hit, "Do not show out because we’re around people!”
“God damn you’re vicious,” Gojo laughed. He could tell you were pulling your punches, but it was just so cute to see you fussing at him with full energy again. The first trimester it was weird to have you so docile and weepy.
You lunged at him again and he screamed before jogging for the house.
“Waving inflatable tube man looking ass!”
“How are you so creative?!” Gojo wheezed. He noticed Janelle in the doorway staring at the two of you. He greeted her quickly.
“Hi, Janelle. Please get your friend.”
“Oh no, she seems more like your problem now.” She moved aside so he could get in the house. He promptly hid behind her as you came in too.
“He told me that all I am to him is a face and titties when we stand together!!” You complained.
“Those are your best features anyway, mama.” Gojo assured you.
You lunged again and he put his hands on Janelle’s shoulders to continue to use her as a human shield. Janelle was already giggling at the two of you.
“Don’t laugh at him. He’s not funny,” you said begrudgingly as you hugged her taking her away from Gojo.
“You’re both hilarious.”
You gave her the gift bag, “Whatever. Happy Birthday, you can open the card in private. I don’t want your husband to know about our affair.”
“Very funny,” Nanami said and you actually jumped, yelping a little as you turned to see the man in the front room wiping his hands on a kitchen towel. He didn’t react at all to the way you startled
“Oh you brought Gojo with you. Fun,” he breathed.
“Nanamin! Don’t act like that. I came to help!”
“The best way for you to help is to leave.” Nanami turned and began to walk towards the kitchen. Gojo followed, completely unphased by Nanami’s words. They left you and Janelle in the front room.
“I’ll read it now,” Janelle said and then she did a double take as she looked at you, “Why are you hiding that beautiful bump? You look cute as a button. Oh I know it’s selfish but I can’t wait until you get big. You’re gonna be such a cute pregnant woman, waddling around.”
“Don’t get treated like Satoru,” you reprimanded.
The two of you sat on the sofa while she looked at her present from you. Your gifts were always a tad bit personal, and you preferred that she opened them alone. She teared up reading the sappy note you put in the card and then seeing her copy of your latest ultrasound pictures. She barely even noticed the spa retreat vouchers and her favorite wine in there. She was too busy darting into the kitchen to show Nanami the pictures.
“Kento! Look at our niece!”she cooed, holding the photo out to him. He fixed his glasses on his face. He only wore them to read but you knew that Janelle loved it when he wore them. It made him look like a young grandpa in your opinion, but not in a bad way.
“Pretty cute, huh?” Gojo beamed.
“It’s an ultrasound. The fetus looks like a kidney bean.” Nanami responded.
“Acutekidney bean.”
You joined them in the kitchen, “There are other gifts in that bag Janelle, damn. If I knew my ultrasound pictures would make you this happy, I would have saved my money.”
“Oh hush. I’m going to spoil this baby rotten,” Janelle came over and put a hand on your stomach, “Tee-Tee’s gonna make you her little mini me.”
“Wrong,” you said firmly, “This is my mini me.”
Gojo scoffed, “You’re both wrong. She’ll be my mini me.”
“Oh please! You’re such a joke.”
“I’ve already gotten us matching outfits,” Gojo said triumphantly.
“You what?”
Nanami eventually kicked all of you out of the kitchen to go talk on the deck. It wasn’t a real party unless Nanami was supremely annoyed with all of you for the first 30 minutes of it. Janelle thanked you profusely for the gift, and you helped put up the last of the decorations. Well, Gojo did most of the actual work, you just told him where to put everything since everyone almost had a heart attack when you went to stand on a chair.
By the time other people were coming in, you’d secured a comfy seat on the deck and Nanami had given you a plate full of fruit to enjoy. Gojo kept stealing your grapes which was quickly pissing you off. But every time he did it, he kissed your cheek, which was doing something to your head. You and Gojo were notdating. You were just two people, who were connected by your pregnancy, and it was easier to have sex with him than to meet someone else. That’s how you were rationalizing this whole thing. Still every time he kissed you, your whole body went hot.
“Have some shame, Gojo,” Nanami snapped at him when he came out and saw Gojo stealing your fruit, “Stealing food from a pregnant woman, really?”
“She likes to share with me,” Gojo claimed.
“I don’t, but you’re mean so…” you shrugged, making a point to look really sad about the whole ordeal.
“Stop stealing her food. Have some decency.”
You had to fight back a smile at the sight of Nanami scolding Gojo so vehemently.
“Stop acting like a damsel in distress when we both know you’re crazy.”
“I’m not crazy,” you said forlornly.
“Stop sounding so sad. Oh my God. Don’t act like you didn’t chase me into the house when we got here.”
You decided to eat the melon on your plate as sadly as possible.
“I’ll get some more fruit for you, Y/N, don’t worry,” Nanami concluded before tossing a hard glare at Gojo and leaving.
“All you do is lie,” Gojo grumbled at you.
“All you do is steal. Stealing food from your baby, how low can you get Satoru?” you narrowed your eyes at him, but instead of looking at all repentant, he suddenly looked elated.
“I like it when you call her my baby.”
“Well she is.”
“I know I just like it.”
“You’re such a cornball,” you rolled your eyes.
A few more people joined the party. Geto came in late with Shoko in tow, a mutual friend of you and Janelle’s stopped by (but Nanami didn’t like her very much), and Janelle’s big brother. Janelle’s big brother was a tall man with a stocky build. He wasn’t as tall as Gojo, because Gojo was an escaped science experiment, but he was Nanami’s height. For a long time you had a crush on Janelle’s brother, but then he decided to go overseas to live with family on his and Janelle’s father’s side. You left Gojo to talk to Geto and Shoko so you could greet him.
“Miguel,” you greeted with a smile looking up at him. “Oh look at you,” He gasped, “you’re glowing.”
You watched Janelle put a hand over her mouth, obviously thinking of telling him it was a pregnancy glow. You just shot her a look before hugging him.
“I see you still ain’t found out about shirts that are bigger than a kid’s medium.”
“You have jokes!” he exclaimed with a laugh.
“No, no, you look good, that thing is just shrink wrapped to you. What’s that spandex?”
He wagged his finger at you reproachfully as you laughed.
Geto sat in clear view of the kitchen through the patio doors. He watched you talking to Janelle and Miguel curiously. At first he just thought it was just a normal interaction. He knew you and Janelle had been friends for a long time, it was perfectly natural for you to know her brother. But then Miguel touched you, his hand running for your upper arm down to your elbow. It was a casual touch but Geto knew it well. He was simply breaking the touch barrier.
“I just can’t imagine you as a father. That seems illegal,” Shoko said on a heavy sigh, “Where is that poor, poor, woman so I can offer her my condolences.”
“Getting charmed by Janelle’s brother,” Geto answered nonchalantly, “They seem like good friends. Maybe he’ll father baby number 2.”
Shoko hit him, “Geto, you’re such an asshole. Gojo if- Gojo!” She called when she turned to assure him that it was fine only to see him already getting up.
Gojo watched Miguel’s hand continue down until he was holding your hand only for him to bring it up and kiss it. You smacked him in the chest lightly as you took your hand back. “Hey, mama,” Gojo said with a grin as he put his arm over your shoulders. He heard you give a heavy sigh but he ignored it, “Nanamin hasn’t fed you yet? Get on it, Nanamin, she’s eating for two.”
The death glare Nanami sent his way was almost petrifying… almost.
“For two?” Miguel questioned.
You’d never felt more miserable in your life. Of all the men in the world to have a baby with, you had to choose the world’s biggest idiot.
“We’ve got a little bun in the oven,” Gojo bent a little so he could put a hand on your stomach, “our little monster’s been making her so hungry lately, and something else that starts with an ‘h’ and ends with a ‘y’.”
You elbowed him hard in the gut and he doubled over a bit.
“Oh wow, congratulations,” Miguel said, kindly, “You’re a lucky man.”
You pressed your lips together in irritation but did your best to smile as if you weren’t supremely annoyed and disappointed by Gojo’s interference. Not that you expected this interaction to go anywhere. You were stuck with the village idiot.
“Alright, you all. Let’s get out of the kitchen before Kento gives us a piece of his mind. Y/N take this,” Janelle gave you a plate of veggies with another serving of grapes since Gojo ate your last serving. There was nothing to be gained from telling Miguel that Gojo wasn’t your man. It would only make you look worse. So you sat right back beside Gojo angrily eating veggies.
Shoko shot you a sympathetic look when you came back over. She at least started a conversation with you. Unfortunately, throughout the party you noticed Geto throwing little dirty looks your way. You would be in the middle of telling someone baby news, because that’s all anybody cared about when it came to you these days, and he would just be glaring at you resentfully. You wondered if you were breaking up more than just a bromance. And between Geto giving you the stank eye, there was Gojo touching you and fawning over you to make a show in front of Miguel, and you felt yourself quickly growing irritated. The next time you caught Geto glaring at you, you just glared back. He didn’t break so you didn’t break and the two of you just glared at each other.
“What… What’s going on?” Shoko asked.
“I don’t know, ask your buddy with the staring problem,” You said, keeping your eyes on Geto.
Geto just rolled his eyes and looked away. Any other time you’d curse him out and be done with it but it was Janelle’s birthday party and you refused to ruin her night especially over a bitter best friend.
Gojo looked over, “Suguru, why are you looking at her like that?”
“No reason at all. I’m gonna head out early.” he stood up abruptly and began to make a beeline for the house. You watched Shoko roll her eyes and shake her head before turning to talk to you about baby names. Both she and Gojo continued on like Geto’s behavior wasn’t out of the ordinary, so you did the same.
It was very late by the time you and Gojo left the party, and the high points of the night overshadowed the weird moments in the beginning. You still had questions about Geto’s behavior, but you weren’t going to ask any questions. It’s not like he was your best friend.
“So… are you and Miguel close?”
“We used to be, before he took a job overseas. It was good to hear that he’s back in town.”
“Right, so you can date him,” Gojo concluded.
“Uh… well I’m pregnant right now, I don’t know if you know that. So I’m not likely to be dating anyone for a while.”
“You’re hot, even pregnant. You could date anyone you wanted. Some guys are into that kind of thing.”
“I don’t think I want some guy to be into me being pregnant. Sounds like a weird fetish. And this is the first time I’ve seen Miguel in years.”
“Before he left were you two together?”
“No… why am I being interrogated right now? If we’re asking questions, I wanna know why your bestie was glaring at me like he wanted problems.”
Gojo sighed, “He’s angry at me right now.”
“So he should have been staring you down. What the fuck does your friendship have to do with me?”
“Well I had to cancel a few things for-”
“Whatever problems he has with you, he should take up with you. And you need to tell him that, because if I have to, he’s not going to like it. And for you, if I want someone to know my business I will tell them. If I wanted Miguel to know that I was pregnant I would have said so. I didn’t need you trying to put some weird claim on me.”
“Right, you’re just leaving your options open right?”
“We are not in a relationship, Satoru! What are you mad about?”
He glanced at you, but that quick glance was fiery, “You are carrying my child-”
“Let’s run some things back. We fucked last month. That’s it. You went back to doing what you do, I went back to doing what I do. It was no different than a one night stand. If I wasn’t pregnant, I wouldn’t have seen you again. I told you to date me. What have we done? Have we done some dating? Do you feel like we’re dating?”
He sighed.
“Alright, so whatever claim you feel like you have over me because I’m pregnant you need to dead that. I haven’t received any signs that you mean for me to be anything other than your baby mama who you fuck on sometimes. I’m not fucking stupid, Satoru. I know the games you play.”
“What games?” “The game where you do relationship stuff with a woman but you never confirm the status of the relationship so when she’s mad because you’re out with some other bitch you can just say ‘Well we’re not in a relationship’” you pitched your voice lower to mock him, “ I know that game and I’m not that type of bitch. I will cut you off before I’m one of those women worrying about where you are, who you’re with, what you’re doing. I’m not keying cars and bussing windows. So if you want to have a right to give a damn about who I’m talking to, and what information I do and don’t share, then you know what you need to do.”
“Just like that huh?”
“Just like that. I’m grown. I don’t have the desire or the time to play with you, Satoru.”
There was a long beat of silence, where you assumed that Gojo was mad at you for not going along with his bull shit. You didn’t really care if he was. It was just that you weren’t going to be micromanaged by a man who wasn’t applying pressure.
“I think it’s kinda hot when you talk to me like that, mama,” he said, breaking the charged silence in the car.
You shook your head, “There is something fundamentally wrong with you.”
He laughed, “Yeah, for sure. Doesn’t change what I just said though. I’m hoping you’ll take me home and punish me.”
“Boy, shut the hell up,” you found yourself laughing in spite of yourself.Thing would really be so much easier if you didn’t find Gojo funny.
You wound up sleeping over at his, mostly because you slept better with Satoru holding you, and he was insistent about staying the night and you really didn’t care that much. In the morning it was as it had been for a while, he made breakfast, made a mess in your kitchen that you yelled at him to clean up. He helped you continue to pack up your little apartment so that you could move into the new house. This continued until the evening when you were gripped by the most overwhelming craving you’ve ever had.
“I want a taco, so motherfucking bad right now,” you sighed heavily, putting your head in your hands.
“Well, put on some shoes, we’ll go get tacos.”
“I need it to be the best taco this city has to offer. And if it’s not on a corn tortilla don’t even bring it near me. I mean it, Satoru. This is not the time for some kinda “gourmet” taco. I want the taco that some guy with a food truck has been making for 27 years. And if he speaks nothing but Spanish, good!”
“Oh, sounds like we’re on a mission to find the city’s best taco. I can work with that,” He took out his phone and started typing, “Go get dressed. I’ll have our first spot by the time you get back.”
You went to your room to pull on some leggings to go under your oversized shirt. The key to still looking put together was just adding hoops and lip gloss before leaving your room again. Gojo was standing by the door. He held a hand out for you. You took his hand, before getting up on your tiptoes to see his phone. You figured he was looking into a restaurant. You did not expect him to be on Twitter.
“Best taco spot in _____ quickly!”
You could only laugh. He did seem to have a fair amount of responses in such a short time. You’d hate to have that much of a social media presence, but at least it would mean that you got some good tacos out of the equation. He kept you steady while you slid on some shoes and the two of you were out in the night in search for the perfect tacos.
Gojo let you be in charge of the music. You had quite a few playlists perfect for a late night drive, but chose a relatively chill one to fill the companionable silence. The streetlights over head washed over the car, lighting up the inside of the car a dim orange for just a moment. He was tapping his fingers to the beat of the music with his fingers on the gear shift. After a song or two, he put the window down halfway. The sight of his hair on the wind reminded you of that night, the very first time you took a chance on Gojo. All of the windows were down and the two of you were taking the long way to his place, enjoying the sight of the city at its most alive on New Years Eve. You remembered the two of you singing at the top of your lungs, stone cold sober, but high on life. As cliche as it sounded, you really felt like you were living for the first time ever in the passenger seat of Gojo’s stupid fancy sports car. Even if things went bad between the two of you, you thought you’d always be kinda grateful for that night. It was the first time in years that you didn’t feel like you had to be perfectly put together.
A slower song came on and you were ready to skip it but Gojo stopped you, “No, this is good! I didn’t think you listened to them. You seem like an R&B type of person.”
“… Is it because I’m black?”
He shot you a look, “No, it’s because that’s what you usually play. I like this song.” He turned the music all the way up before a sly smile took over his features. Before he started singing along to the music. It should have been hot that he could sing, and maybe it was, but honestly it was a little aggravating too. No one man should have that many sexy features. At a red light he took your hand and started singing more emphatically. You tried to get your hand free and not smile at him. You turned away from him only to turn you back to face him. You smacked his hand away.
“You’re so fucking annoying,” you laughed, “Green light, fucker.”
He let go of you to drive, still singing along to the music. You could clearly hear him singing along. His voice was just about as deep as his speaking voice, with a clarity that made you jealous. It was particularly soothing to the ear. It didn’t sound like it took him much effort to sound good and it didn’t look like he was trying very hard either. What was that like? To have so many things come to you easily?
You just turned to your side a bit and listened to him. He’d gotten a fresh haircut at some point during the week and fresh fade on the sides was particularly nice to look at. You wanted to touch him, to just put your fingers around the back of his neck and letting your fingers trace along the soft warm skin.
“You’re staring. You know this thing doesn’t have a backseat, but the driver seat goes back really far.”
“I don’t know what you’re insinuating,” you said, turning to stare out of your own window. He laughed at your dismissal.
“I’ll show you some time!” he called over the wind.
The first taco place was too polished. It was a full blown restaurant and the two of you got out and asked to order to go. You tried their taco in the car together.
“Hm,” you hummed after the first bite, of the taco. First of all it was on a flour tortilla, which was not what you wanted, it tasted a little underseasoned. It just wasn’t at all what you wanted.
“Verdict?” Gojo asked.
You shook your head, “No, not even close. -2 out of ten.”
“Harsh, but true next place.”
You were back on the road but this time the music was a bit quieter as Gojo talked.
“So did you tell your mom yet?”
You sighed, “No. I almost did on Wednesday, but then she got to talking about other family issues and I… wish I’d just said it. I was right there with her and pretty soon I won’t be able to hide it.”
“Well, what’s the absolute worst that could happen?”
You thought about it, “Well she could yell at me, tell me I’m stupid for having a baby out of wedlock, berate me for sleeping around, and ultimately disown me as her daughter.”
“Okay, does her disowning you make your life any harder. Like do you rely on her for anything.”
“Um well yeah, emotional support. She’s my mom.”
“Right but you’d survive that.”
“… I guess.”
“And best case scenario?”
You thought about that, what was the best case scenario with your mom, “Well… I pretty much told her she’d be waiting another decade for a grandchild so I guess best case scenario she’s happy. She’s actually really happy. And she’s excited about being a grandmother, and I get to ask her all the hard questions about being a mom.”
“Questions like what?”
“Did she ever feel ready? Did it ever feel real? If you didn’t text me throughout the day I swear I’d forget I was even pregnant some days.”
“You don’t feel ready? But you’re the woman with a plan. You seem so ready for everything.”
You laughed at that, “I plan because it helps me feel like I’m in control, but I know I’m not. Things go off plan all the time, obviously.”
“Right, right,” he nodded, “but honestly, is anyone ever ready for a kid?”
You sighed, “Well some people are more ready than others. Even accidents can happen in a stable enough situation that it all feels like a plan. I’ve been trying to plan for this baby, but really? They’re gonna be a human person. They’re gonna have their own ideas, and personality and I can’t plan for that. The best I can do is… put money aside to support them in anything they want to do. It’s terrifying having so many variables.”
“But a little exhilarating too if you think about it,” he grinned, “I mean, body horror aside, pregnancy is cool.You’re making a human right now, a whole life and we get to see who she wants to be and teach her how to be a good person. That’s cool don’t you think?”
“It’s a lot of responsibility,” you frowned, “What if we mess up?”
He shrugged, “What if we don’t? What if she’s the perfect mix of you and me?”
You smiled softly, “We don’t know the sex yet, Satoru.”
“It’s a girl. I just know it.”
The next taco place was a smaller store front, definitely the kind of place where people just stopped in, ordered, and took their things to-go. You could hear loud talking in the kitchen, all in Spanish, and that made you smile. You had a rule about foods from different cultures, you might visit the remixed versions where the chefs were so removed from the culture that nothing but the bare bones of the original meal existed, but the real place to get the food was from the people who grew up with it. You weren’t sold on any “ethnic” restaurants if the people of the culture weren’t the ones in the kitchen and benefitting from the knowledge of their cultural cuisine. You explained this to Gojo while you sat beside one another in the old restaurant chairs pushed against the front windows waiting for your food.
“Good rule,” he nodded, “We should go to Mexico for a babymoon.”
“I’m not going to Mexico. I’m trying to move all my shit into a house, remember?”
“Alright, little Miss Practical.”
“But maybe some day,” you shrugged, “I’d like to have tacos from Mexico. It’s like, would you trust an American, not a Japanese American, a white American to make your favorite from your culture? The stuff your mom used to cook.”
“My mom didn’t cook, but I know what you mean,” he answered casually, “Not really. Even the gourmet stuff is good, but it’s not the same.”
“Your mom didn’t cook?” you asked softly looking up at him.
He shook his head, “We had chefs. My mom wasn’t very… maternal. She birthed me and that was really about it.”
“Hm… how’d you learn to cook?”
“I took a class on a whim.”
“So no family recipes then?”
“No. Well I have a few recipes, but I don’t think that counts.”
“It will, if you teach them to our kid.”
His answering smile was far more genuine than you were used to seeing. It was smaller, genuinely thoughtful. He was imagining standing in a kitchen with a little girl. She’d have your nose and your funny little attitude, and she’d be telling him that he was doing something all wrong despite it being hisrecipe.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m guessing you cooked with your mom.”
“Oh yeah, I was always in the kitchen. That’s just how I learned at first, by watching her cook. Now soul food… that’s different than any other cuisine for me. I don’t really care who’s in the restaurant, I don’t go out to eat soul food, I only eat my mom’s or my own cooking. Anything else just isn’t right.”
“You’ll have to cook for me some time then.”
“You think you’re slick. You’re not gonna have me cooking for you and I’m just the mother of your child. Absolutely not. Those are boyfriend and husband privileges.”
He chuckled, “Fine, but you’ll teach our daughter, won’t you?”
“Of course.” You smiled to yourself, thinking about a little child with Gojo’s goofy grin, and the shape of his eyes staring up at you while you made sweet potatoes, macaroni, and all the other foods you loved especially growing up. It was a really sweet thought, perhaps the sweetest thought you’d had about being a mother in some time.
Your order was called and Gojo grabbed it and requested a few sauces before the two of you were leaving to find some place to park. You wound up by the beach, sitting in relative quiet with the music playing at a low volume between the two of you. These tacos were a definite 9.5/10 something was missing but you couldn’t tell what, however, you were satisfied with them.
“Your rule definitely holds true. These are awesome,” Gojo said.
You could only nod, cheeks too full of food to say much. In a moment of complete happenstance you both turned to look at each other only to see that both of you had sauce on your faces. It was probably the least attractive you’d ever seen Gojo look. You could only imagine you looked a mess as well. There was no cute way to eat tacos that were any good. He swallowed his food and between barely contained giggles while he rooted through the bag for napkins. He grabbed one for you and immediately pressed it to your face. You couldn’t help laughing as he wiped the napkin across your mouth.
“Don’t worry, mama, I’ve got your back,” he giggled as you leaned away from him.
When he stopped he paused and looked at you, “There you go. Beautiful,” he tapped your chin with the side of his index finger. You flipped him out before going in for another bite.
When you were done with your tacos, you ate churros that Gojo ordered on a whim, the both of you were incredibly full, just staring out at the ocean.
“You should tell your mom tomorrow,” Gojo said, “She’s going to find out and I’m sure you’ll want our baby to know her grandmother. It would be nice for her to have at least one grandparent. I know you don’t talk to your father.”
“More than that I don’t even know what I would talk about. I just know the man’s name. He had absolutely no interest in being anything to me. I’ve seen him a handful of times in my life and it was never a happy occasion, and never on purpose.”
“I was distant with my father too, while he was alive, though I wish I saw less of him. Let’s hope your mom has the best possible reaction. Grandparents are good to have.”
“And well, they’ll have a great father figure to look up to,” you said with a smile.
Gojo’s gaze softened, “Do you really think so?”
“Oh yeah, Kento’s all in on being an uncle.”
His smile dropped and he glared at you, “You’re the worst,” he complained while you laughed.
You reached over and pinched his cheek, “I’m interested to see what kind of father you’ll be. I think you’ll drive me crazy… but I know you’ll do your best.”
His expression softened again, “Thanks… for what it’s worth, I think you’re gonna be a pretty good mom.”
“Thanks.”
“Alright, your place or mine?”
“For what?
“You know what,” he said seriously, “Stop playing with me. You look all cute in my passenger seat, being mean to me like I won’t rock your world.”
“Satoru, you wanna fuck me after eating tacos????!!!!” you yelled, “I don’t know what kinda freak shit you’re into but I do have a line that I will not cross.”
He burst out laughing again, “Okay, you’re right, see this is why we work well together. I’ve got the platform. But you’ve got the plan. How about a cheesy rom-com, some cuddling, and separate bathrooms?”
“You’re on.”
In the morning you had a small breakfast, and you stared at your mother’s contact photo. It was a Sunday so you knew that she would be free. Despite the fact that she was retired now, the woman stayed booked and busy. You supposed she’d been on the move since she was 20 trying to support the two of you. You weren’t sure she knew how to do nothing. But you were pretty sure that she enjoyed all the things she did to keep busy.
“If my mom wanted to meet you, would you come meet my mom?” you questioned.
“Yeah, for sure. Is she as pretty as you?”
“You’re not gonna fuck my mom, Satoru,” you frowned.
He snorted, “It was an innocent question. I’m wondering how you’re going to age.”
“Fuck you. Nevermind. She’ll really be disappointed in me if I bring you around. Look at you, you’re indecent.” He was shirtless and you wished that the smell of bacon didn’t make you physically ill because you’d love to see hot bacon grease hit him. As it was, you couldn’t stand it.
“Not my fault I’m sexy. But honestly, I would meet your mom, I’d even dress my best for her.”
“I’m gonna be honest with you, Satoru, I have no idea what you mean by that. It could mean that you’re gonna wear something long sleeved and modest, or you could show up in a thong. I don’t know what you consider to be your best.”
“I’m really touched that you know me so well,” he said as if he was getting choked up.
“And you don’t know a damn thing about me. Such is the way of men I’m afraid.”
“Oh yeah, I don’t know you in the slightest. What’s your name? Number 235642.”
You gasped, “Woooooow, you assigned a black woman a number!!! A number??? What am I to you?”
“Wait, no.”
“I’m just livestock-”
“Stop, please, that is not how I meant it.”
“You think you know a guy,” you began to muse, watching Gojo get redder and redder as you kept ranting. You did eventually let him off the hook. He gave you your breakfast begrudgingly much to your endless amusement.
You left his place earlier than you usually did to go to your mom’s. This seemed like the kind of conversation to have in person after all. You thought about telling her over the phone but it felt impersonal. Gojo was right to ask you what the best thing was that could happen. It was more likely than the worst case scenario. Still, you were beyond worried about how this conversation would go.
You pulled up to your mom’s place and knocked on the door. You had a key, but it’s not like you called beforehand so you decided to just wait for her to open the door. When she did, she was obviously happy to see you. It both eased and aggravated your anxiety to see her so happy. There was still a big part of you worried that you were going to disappoint her, but the truth was you were really starting to show, and it would be impossible to hide a baby for much longer.
“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you,” she greeted with a smile moving out of the way so you could go inside.
“I… Well I kinda needed to talk to you, and it just seemed better to see you. Plus, it’s been a while since I visited.”
“Yeeeeah, I figured you got a new boyfriend or something. Too busy being boo’d up to come see about me,” she teased, but when you didn’t laugh she looked at you, “Do you have a new boyfriend? Is he hiding in the car or something?”
“No, no… well not exactly.”
“Girlfriend? Because that’s cool too. I always figured you was a li’l fruity, I was just waiting on you to say something.”
“Mom, please stop guessing,” you sighed.
“Well then tell me, you know my nerves bad.” She scowled at you as the two of you continued towards the front room. You settled heavily on the sofa and let your head rest against the cushions.
She sat beside you with heavy sigh, “Girl, what is it?”
You felt like a little kid again, like you’d broken something in the house, or gotten a “C” on a test. You just started crying before you could even stop yourself.
“Whoa, hey, what’s going on?”
“I’m pregnant, mama.”
“… What happened? Did someone hurt you or-”
You shook your head, “No, no, nothing like that. I had a night with a friend of a friend and the condom broke and I messed up my birth control. It was like all the odds were stacked against me.”
“But you know who the father is?” she asked, obviously trying to calmly get the facts straight.
You nodded.
“And is he denying the baby, or he wants nothing to do with it?”
“No, nothing like that at all. He’s- well he’s already taking care of us. I mean the man just bought me a house.”
“A house? What is he rich or something?” she asked.
“Yeah… he’s kinda rich,” you answered, which you knew was an understatement. Gojo came from old money. He was richer than you could wrap your head around.
“Is he… mean to you?” she asked, sounding more confused than ever before.
“No. Mama, why do you keep guessing bad stuff?”
“Because you’re crying! Damn, I’m trying to figure out where the hell the tragedy is!” She answered, throwing her arms up in the air.
“I’m pregnant. I-I’m not married. I’m not even dating the guy, I didn’t plan for it. I mean I told you I wouldn’t have kids until I was 30!”
“Yeah, you said that. I didn’t tell you to do that. And yes, it might have been better if you were married, and I think it’s weird that you’re not dating the guy… but I mean… Do you not want the baby?”
“I want her,” you answered immediately.
“… Is your baby daddy ugly?” she asked after a pause.
You scoffed, “No, he’s far from ugly.”
“… White? Not that it matters but-”
“He’s not white, mama,” you sighed, “He’s Asian. Japanese to be exact.”
“Oh so is this like Crazy Rich Asians and his family is hazing you-”
“Mama, no. Nothing like that.”
“Then stop crying, girl,” she concluded, “and hold ya head up. You have nothing to be sad about. This sounds like a long list of good things. You bagged a rich man, you got a free house out of it … is it in your name?” when you nodded she continued, “you get a baby, and ain’t no man in your life tryna tell you what to do. How far along are you?”
“Five months,” you said softly.
“When did you find out?”
You hung your head again in shame, “When I was 8 weeks.”
“Why did you wait so long?”
You took a deep breath as you felt tears start again. You wiped at them hastily but it wasn’t any good, you were already sobbing again, “I thought you’d be disappointed in me.”
Your mother said your full name and you looked at her, “You have done nothing but make me proud. You’ve got your education, your career, you make good money. Sure, it probably would have been better if you were married but married men leave families just as easily as the unwed ones do. Look I know I drilled it into your head not to let no man knock you up, but really that was just a message I wish I had when I was younger. I shouldn’t have put that on you the way that I did. It seems like you’ve got a man who thinks the world of you, because I don’t care how rich you are, ain’t nobody just giving out houses.”
You paused, and thought about Satoru and the ways that he looked at you when the two of you were together. He… cared about you. That didn’t sound too out of the way to say. You had evidence to support that he cared. And that was a far cry from your own father who really didn’t care if you or your mother lived or died.
“You got a picture?” she asked.
You took out your phone and went through the MANY pictures on it of Satoru and searched for an appropriate one. That did not exist so you went to his Instagram. And after 125 half naked pictures you found a decent one of him and his car which was super depressing.
“Okay,” you held the phone to your chest before showing her, “I know he looks like an idiot here, but I promise he’s really sweet to me.”
“Just show me.”
You turned your phone so she could look at him. She took her glasses from where they hung on the neckline of her shirt and brought them up to look at your phone, “Gaaaaahdamn. That boy fine as hell.”
“Mama!” you disparaged.
“He look like he ain’t got a lick of sense, but he’s handsome. Back in my day I would’ve-”
“Please spare me. I’m begging you.”
“Why are y’all not dating?”
“Look at him,” You held your phone out a little more and she took it, peering down at the screen with her glasses perched on the tip of her nose.
“Oh I’m looking.”
“Mama, excuse me for saying it but you can’t turn no hoe into a housewife.”
“Mmhm, so who’s Satoru with all the heart emoji’s around your name and why is he asking if you’re trying to buss it down for a real one.”
You gasped harshly before grabbing your phone. You looked and sure enough, Gojo had texted.
“That’s him.”
“Mmhm. Look, I been around the block a few times. No judgment from me. You oughta bring him to meet me sometime. I gotta know what kinda crazy my grandbaby gon’ be mixed with. Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?”
“No, but I’ll know soon… Satoru thinks we’re having a girl. Well he wants a girl.” You smiled thinking of how often Satoru talked about his daughter without knowing for sure. You were honestly just hoping for a healthy baby and an easy birth.
Your mother smiled at you, “You sure you two aren’t dating? You’re looking awfully fond.”
“We’re not dating,” you said firmly.
“Alright, alright. Well you got some ultrasound pictures, girl? I’m done talking to you, I wanna see my grandbaby.”
Chapter 7 Summary: The bond between you and Nanami runs deeper than you can imagine and as more of the Viscount’s treachery comes to light the bond seems ill-advised and dangerous.
Warnings: talk of death, blood, gore… but still no worse than canon, NSFW, Smut
Good dick could not give you the will to live your life as a monster… but god damn it, it could make a compelling argument. He held true to his word the night before and did not make you traverse the underground instead settling for the creaky old bed at the very top of the church turret. He found fresh linen, which was a pleasant surprise but now it was ruined. The bright morning light shone on the crucifix above the bed that you had no choice but stare at as he slammed into you relentlessly from behind. You’d made the unwitting mistake of trying to have a much needed conversation with him this morning and this was the result.
He was pressed tightly against you as you spooned and you laid awake for a long time before you perceived the change in his breathing that told you he was awake.
“Nanami, we shouldn’t be so attached to each other. It’s not healthy,“ you said softly, the words made your chest ache as they came out of your mouth.
“I didn’t ask,” he answered blithely, wrapping his arm around you tighter. It put your ass right against his hard-on and your eyes rolled back in pure pleasure. He was absolutely naked behind you so you felt every bit of him.
“And I don’t really care,” he continued.
“You know how this ends.”
“Do you enjoy repeating yourself?”
“You’re not listening to me.”
“No, you’re not listening to me. We’ll work on that though,” he promised as he pressed a kiss to the back of your neck.
“Nanami-”
“For a hedonistic monster that deserves death, you are set on resisting pleasure,” he mumbled against your skin, rolling over to be on top of you. His weight shifted you on to your stomach, “A filthy little bloodsucker would be too busy begging me to mark her up again.”
He grazed his teeth against your shoulder and your whole body shuddered, “Give in to me. Be a good girl and stop telling me things I don’t care about.”
You had enough brain power to recognize that he offered you no way to really win. Well if you wanted him less you could just tell him to let you go and you were sure he would. If you gave into your desires though then you’d be allowing him to divert your attention away from the very real problem that was whatever Nanami felt for you. The obvious solution was to push him away, make him understand that he was going to get hurt, that the longer you played this game the more it would hurt him to let you go.
It should have been an easy choice, but his teeth were teasing your flesh as he rutted against you. His hard cock dragged against your ass leaving you to remember how he felt inside of you the previous night. Your pussy ached, throbbing greedily at the idea of being filled by him again. You moaned and he hummed a satisfied smile.
“Do you want me?”
“Kento,” you moaned as he rolled his hips again,
“I know. Give in to me. Let me make it better. I promise I’ll make you see God, my love.”
And that was how you wound up in this predicament, overwhelmed by the wet slap of skin against skin and the obnoxious creak of the old bed beneath you. The metal headboard smacked the wall in the harsh staccato of his merciless thrusts. The impact of which made the cross that your eyes were pointed at, but not quite seeing, jump on the wall. Your gaze was half lidded and your eyes were beginning to roll back. He had a hard grip on your hips pulling you back against him as he fucked into you.
“Oh God!” You whined, head dropping from fatigue and general disbelief at the way a man you always considered to be principled and disciplined was bullying into your guts, “Ken…tooo,” you drew out his name, voice shaking with force of his thrusts.
He pulled out of you suddenly much to your dismay. You turned to complain, or maybe to beg him to put it back in, but he shoved you over to your side before manhandling you onto your back. Once you were there, he put your legs up on his shoulders and entered you again. Your legs pressed on either side of his neck, forced together as he brought his hands to your shoulders. His large warm hands slid from your shoulders up to your neck, holding it in a firm grasp that anchored his punishing thrusts. You yelped a loud affronted moan as your whole body jostled with the force of it.
Nanami’s eyes were trained on you, taking in your breathless fucked out expression. The way your breasts bounced with every thrust was utterly hypnotic. He kept his eyes on the repetitive motion, fucking you harder just to see them bounce and jiggle just a bit more. You held on to his wrists, a natural reaction to the way he was holding you. The full sensory experience of you made it impossible to think of anything at all, mind too frenzied with the sound of your wet pussy gushing around him, the slap of skin to skin, and your sobbing moans. Your jaw dropped, revealing the sharp points of your canines. They’d droppped just a bit more with the flood of arousal through your system. You called out his name again and he fucked you harder in response. If he had the mind to worry about it, he’d be concerned about the integrity of the old squeaking bed you were on. As it was, he didn’t care. He’d fix it along with the altar table later.
Your orgasm overtook you with vicious intensity, stealing the breath from your lungs, making every muscle in your body lock down and tremble. Your head pressed back into the mattress as your back arched from the overwhelming feeling. You couldn’t speak, couldn’t breath, couldn’t even think. The mounting crest of your pleasure seemed to stretch forever, one ceaseless moment in which you’d never felt closer to another person in your life, and there was that oneness that you thought only existed when feeding, but it was opening in ways you’d never experience from blood alone. It felt like heaven.
When that moment ended, as all things do, you gasped a harsh desperate sound as you fought to get your breath back. Then you exhaled with a loud moan cursing and calling out to any being you thought might be listening: Kento, God, Jesus, it was all interchangeable at the moment, something you were sure you’d have to answer for on your day of reckoning. Nanami let go of your throat, diving forward to kiss you. Your legs fell open with the movement. His lips were insistent, not rough but passionate as if he meant to devour you this way. You were too out of it to keep up with him, especially since he was still fucking you.
You were impossibly wet, your last orgasm seemed to open you up to him just a bit more and he was so deep in your slippery warm cunt. He could live like this, spending eternity fucking you. He would have to fuck you for eternity, because it seemed to be the only time you weren’t trying to convince him to live without you. He growled low in his throat pulling away from your lips to kiss your throat.
“Mine,” he grumbled, feeling shivers spill down his spine as the pressure of his impending orgasm became harder and harder to hold back. The sound you made in response to his words did nothing to help his situation. You were whining and sobbing from pleasure right in his ear. Your nails were digging into his back.
He tore away from you, sitting back on his hunches as he gripped his length, fucking into his fist those last few times before he came. He painted your skin with his cum. It landed on your stomach in white ropes. You laid there, fighting to get your breath back, stomach heaving with your breath. You were far too beautiful, far too good to be any of the things you accused yourself of being. He put a hand on his stomach, compelled to rub his cum into your skin, to dirty you because maybe then he could do what you asked. If you were sullied in his eyes maybe it wouldn’t drive him to madness every time you insinuated you might take yourself from him. Alas, for that to work he’d have to believe that sex had the ability to sully a woman, and he did not. And for him to stop believing in the purity of your heart, then he would have to give up a lot of beliefs about the goodness of people. To believe that you deserved death, would be to abandon his faith entirely.
He cursed, leaning forward to kiss over your heart, the very place where you wanted him to shove a stake at the end of this. With his lips pressed right there he could feel the frantic beating of your heart. Your chest rose and fell in heavy intervals. He pressed his cheek to it, his nose nudging the side of your breast, and the softness there beckoned to him. He kissed and sucked the soft flesh of your breast only for you to run your fingers through his hair pulling him into you so tenderly, it took him off guard. He tore away from you with a heavy sigh.
“There is work to do, we cannot stay in this bed. Besides, I doubt it will survive another round.” As if to prove his point the bed let out a long obnoxious creak the moment he shifted his weight. He sat on the edge of the bed with his back to you. He rested his elbows on his knees trying to quiet his own mind. He was mostly reminding himself that there was work to be done, and he couldn’t stay in this bed with you.
He continued, “There are showers in the underground quarters. I will go down with you.”
When you didn’t respond, he looked over his shoulder at you and found your eyes were closed and you were still in the same position he left you in.
“Are you alright?” he questioned.
“You can’t… fuck me like that and start talking business. You could at least hold me after damn.” You lifted a sluggish hand to wipe down your face.
He stood, causing the bed to groan. Then he picked you up, “We have things to do, but I will assist in getting you cleaned up.”
Showering with Nanami had been a fantasy at one point, something you thought about on your own, to your own touch. Nanami was always warm to you, which was to be expected. When you hadn’t fed in a while you were usually room temp or colder. His presence now was not as you imagined. He was softer with you, uninterested in pushing you up against the shower wall to take you again. He was always rough when you expected him to be patient, and patient when you thought you might be ravished. He kissed over the place he bit you the previous night while he lathered you in the body wash of long dead vampires. You got a good look at his back as you leaned against the shower wall waiting for him after you were clean. The cross in the middle of his back had red lines over it from your nails. Ancient languages were highlighted with red as well all from your feverish attempt to get him closer when he was already inside of you. You reached out and touched a set of marks, pressing the pads of your fingers against the lines. He stiffened a little under your touch, and you looked up at him. He was looking at you over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” he asked.
“These. I hurt you.”
He huffed a humorless laugh, “While you have a reason to ask for my forgiveness, this is not it. It didn’t hurt and it will heal shortly.”
You were confused but chose not to speak. You couldn’t quite make sense of Nanami right now and it seemed like he wasn’t in the mood to take questions about it. So, you just shut up, enjoying the view, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that something was going to go horribly wrong in the very near future.
When the two of you were cleaned up Nanami announced that he needed to go out to meet Gojo, “If you are up to it, you can explore the underground, see if these vampires had any information on our cause.”
“Okay,” you answered without looking up at him, you were trying to smooth the wrinkles in your habit. It was a futile task but it was something to look at that wasn’t Nanami’s ridiculously handsome face.
“I won’t be gone long. I’ll come back with food.”
You nodded.
He put a finger under your chin and tipped your head back to look at him. He was silent, searching your expression for a moment, “What is the matter?”
“Nothing.”
“I hate it when you lie to me.”
“I want to go with you, but I know that I need to be here. That’s all. Nothing serious.”
He hummed, “I’ll be back before you know it.” He gave you a short chaste kiss before turning away from you to go through the church door.
You wound up doing as he asked, which wasn’t uncommon for you, but now that you were going through dead vampire’s stuff, you were feeling a little indignant about it. He couldn’t fuck you like a maniac and then give you chores to do like some submissive housewife. The two of you weren’t even married. Still there were supplies, clothing, an interesting collection of records, evidence of an orgy room, a fully functioning kitchen with top of the line equipment, a bathing room and a bunch of other interesting rooms to be found. There were lights in the underground, though they were dim and yellow, adding a sort of hazy look to the stone columns and walls. With the lights on you could get a better look at the high polished marble floors and the baroque style carved stone of the columns. It was quite nice under the church. You supposed it would be ridiculous to spend eternity in squalor.
When Nanami picked up Gojo he knew his day was going to be long. The white haired menace got in the SUV, took a deep breath then smiled. It was the most unsettling smile Nanami had ever seen, mostly because he didn’t know why Gojo was smiling. He just was.
“What?” Nanami demanded. “Nothing. It’s a good morning.”
“You hate mornings.”
“Not this morning. I can tell that this morning is going to be very interesting.”
“We are going to the church to confront the archbishop. I am sure that will be riveting.”
“No, that will be boring. He’s going to demand you come back to the parish with the leech,” Gojo said and he turned in time to see Nanami’s face twitch in annoyance, “You’re going to say no. He’s going to threaten your life, I’m going to tell him to eat shit. And then we’ll make a formal split from the Rising Star church. Nothing interesting about any of that.”
“Then what is so interesting that you’re smiling like an idiot.”
Gojo chuckled, “Your new cologne.”
“I’m not wearing cologne, it’s the soap that was in the underground. That is all.”
“Right, and a closed mating bond,” Gojo grinned and Nanami turned to glare at him, “Oh come on, you reek of her. It’s seeping out of your pores.”
“Mating bonds are-”
“Powerful among vampires. God, I thought you were possessive of her before, am I allowed to look at her now or are you going to try to rip my eyes out.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not a full vampire, it’s a diluted bond at best.”
“Yeah you think your filthy blood sucker will try to take my head off then.”
Nanami’s hands tightened on the steering wheel, his white knuckled grip tickled Gojo to no end.
“I’m joking! She’s not filthy… well I guess she wasn’t when I last saw her. But after you’ve sexed her up who knows-”
“That’s enough,” Nanami grit out.
Gojo sighed slumping in his seat a bit so he could properly rest his head on the head rest, “Oh you’re a fucking idiot.” There was a wistful smile on his lips, “Aren’t you going to kill her at the end of this?”
“She’s not going to die.”
“Uh huh,” Gojo nodded, “And I thought I was stupid for falling in love with a damned soul. I didn’t know I was gonna have to kill him. You’re just a glutton for punishment.”
“She’s not going to die.” “She’s a vampire. You’re a vampire hunter.”
“We don’t even know if she’s a vampire. You said it yourself.”
“She is very adamant about dying.”
“She’ll change her mind.”
Gojo pretended to retch, “Oh my god, you are so weak in the knees. Stand. Up! ‘I can change her’” he continued to mock.
“Gojo, she hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s not her fault she was changed, and she’s done nothing but help us kill vampires.”
“It’s not me who you should be convincing. Take it from someone who knows, when the person you love wants other things there’s only so much you can do.”
“This isn’t like that. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone.”
“So I guess you don’t count.”
“She hasn’t hurt me.”
“Yet.”
“She wouldn’t-”
“Nanamin, the two of you are mated and she doesn’t want to spend eternity as I monster. She’s going to break your heart.”
Nanami gritted his teeth, “Let’s just focus on the church.”
“Fine… but one friend to another, bonds meant to last an eternity are strong, but a soul’s will is stronger. You cannot save anyone who doesn’t want to be saved. Trust me.”
Nanami was silent. He was wise enough to know that Gojo meant well. Within the brashness of his words was real worry and real care. At the moment he wasn’t of the mind to receive his words with grace. The mere thought of harm coming to you was enough to make him feel like coming out of his skin. Logically, or whatever was left of his logic, he agreed with Gojo. This was stupid. He’d seen vampires make the stupidest decisions based upon their mates. He’d watched his own father do it. He forfeited his life to protect his mother, even though he knew Cordelius was going to kill her anyway. Maybe he just didn’t want to watch her die. Or maybe he was stupid enough to hope for something different.
Nanami thought of that night, now that he was effectively mated. He viewed his father differently now. He was much younger, barely twelve when it happened. His mother hid him in a little crawl space between the walls, a place he often went to hide during games of hide-and-seek. He loved it because through a crack in the old walls he could observe his parents looking for him, and his father pretending to be unable to sniff him out. He looked through that crack as his father fought the Viscount Alexi Cordelius, doing all he could to protect his mother in the midst. He thought his father wasn’t strong enough to take on Cordelius, that there was nothing he could do to keep the younger vampire from killing, that the diet of animal blood made his death inevitable, but now he wondered if he was holding back because he wouldn’t risk his mother getting hurt in the all out brawl that would have ensued. In the end, he stepped right in front of an attack meant for Nanami’s mother.
“Leave her be,” he’d pleaded, “This quarrel between you and I has nothing to do with her. Let her go.”
“You are a waste of life. I shudder to even call you a vampire, you weak, spineless knave,” The Viscount seethed as he ripped the late Lord Nanami’s heart out. Nanami remembered his mother’s screaming sobs so vividly. He shut his eyes before he could see his mother murdered, but the sickening silence left behind haunted him at times when there was no one to talk to him and disrupt the silence.
His whole life he’d trained with that moment in mind, learning all the ways that his father could have thwarted Alexi Cordelius if he had the guts to do it. And now he thought again of that, of risking your safety to fight an opponent. He used to wonder why his father didn’t simply turn his mother. It would have been easier if she could protect herself, or if she could even run fast enough to get away from the fight. Now he knew it was not so easy to ignore the will of one’s mate and he knew his mother did not desire an immortal life.
He would suffer any amount of painful deaths before he let any harm come to you, and he would prostrate himself at your feet before doing anything that would make you hate him. This was perhaps his stupidest decision to date, maybe even stupider than becoming a priest in a losing battle against vampires, because he couldn’t bear to hurt you, but you expected him to take your life.
~
The church was exactly as he left it. He wasn’t sure what he expected, a disgraced church didn’t look any different from a holy church. That was the whole point. As far as he knew it could still be hallowed ground. It wouldn’t be after Gojo was done though. Nanami knew you would worry if he brought you along so he didn’t protest when Gojo said to come alone. He was going to revoke his blessing from the church and therefore take away his protection. You would worry about the sisters because you were a kind woman and not a hardened soldier against the forces of evil. It was a necessary move to cut the head of the church down. He thought he could straddle the fence on black and white matters.
The moment they stepped on past the gates Gojo made a sound of discontent. Nanami looked up at him curiously to see the frown on his face. He wondered what he was sensing. His gift of six eyes came with a certain amount of precognition, and hyperawareness. Whatever Gojo saw in the present, future, or past of this place was enough to immediately annoy him.
“We’re taking this straight to the man in charge,” Gojo grumbled, stepping forward.
Nanami had only stood before the archbishop once, and that was to ask to postpone your execution until Cordelius was dealt with. The man was incredibly old. His position was one that lasted a lifetime. Nanami’s father saw him seated at the head of the church.
No one tried to stop them as they strolled to the Archbishop’s private office. No one would think of doing anything to impede Gojo’s progress. He was the son of an ophanim, the closest angels to God, and the holiest being they would meet in their time on earth. Their steps echoed on the pristine floor. The double doors at the end of the hallway led to the archbishop’s office and there were guards at either side, an uncommon sight. The bishops at the door held silver blades and stared at Gojo with a sort of trepidation that only came from an unwilling duty.
“Step aside,” Gojo said on a heavy sigh, “those things won’t even touch me. I’ll tell the archbishop you fought hard.”
They stepped in his way, holding up the gleaming silver swords to block him, “I’m sorry. We cannot let you pass.”
“Lack of hospitality is a sin, youknow?” Gojo said in a lilting songlike voice.
“It’s our orders.”
“I know,” Gojo batted away their swords as if they were made of wood and he grabbed their arms and tossed them out of the way. They were not hurt in any significant way, just a few bumps and bruises to groan about later. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his dark pants and planted a heavy kick in the middle of the heavy mahogany double doors. They flew open to reveal the scene that had made Gojo frown when he stepped on the premises.
The archbishop should have been an old man, but life had returned to his wrinkled face. Gojo tsked as he walked in looking from the archbishop to the two vampires sitting in front of his desk. They glared at him with eyes as vibrant as jewels, and just as cold and hard as them too.
“Well, devils in the church. I wasn’t even gone that long.”
Fear was palpable in the archbishop’s eyes as he looked at Gojo. Nanami wondered what he thought would be the outcome of this decision. Gojo was always going to come back to the church so he was always going to find out about the archbishop’s treachery. What was the plan?
The archbishop spoke hastily, “There have been vampires in this church for-”
“When I want you to speak, I will ask you to speak. Until then, shut up,” Gojo instructed coolly as he strolled into the office, “A half vampire, and an immortal hybrid never affected the sanctity of this place. We are accustomed to aligning ourselves with those interested in the preservation of human life. The status of their birth, and their transformation was not a factor. What are you doing, old man?” He stopped walking when he was behind both vampires, but his focus was obviously on the archbishop. The vampires recoiled from him, but if they thought to move then they certainly changed their minds when Nanami edged closer, with his hand on the blessed pistol on his hip.
The archbishop stood from his chair fiercely making it squeal against the flooring, “I am embracing the next step of humanity’s evolution-”
Gojo groaned aloud, “I was hoping you would say something original.”
“The greatest threat to humans is themselves! They must be thinned! With a chosen few as immortal beings and enough humans to keep us fed, this planet could be pulled back from the brink.”
“Is that what Cordelius told you? Is that what he sent these two to convince you of? He must have. I thought it was odd that no one had seen you in person in a while. Guess it would have been hard to explain how a ninety-something year old raisin became a young grape again. But maybe you should have worked on your old man voice a little more. You sounded a bit too lively over the phone.”
“Who are you to tell me what to do?! I am working for the betterment of mankind and God smiles down at my efforts! I am purifying this wretched world! What do you know? You were left behind by your own kind! You’re a disgrace!”
In a move too fast for anyone to follow, Gojo was suddenly behind the desk and looming over the archbishop. His blindfold was off, and he glared at the man with eyes as blue as the hottest part of the flame. “I wasn’t left behind, I chose to stay. When all of the nephilim gave up on the salvation of man, I chose to stay. Your god does not watch for you. He watches for me and what I will do next.”
“What are you going to do next? Kill me? It won’t change anything.”
Gojo grinned at that assessment, even as he bent a little to be in the archbishops face he did not remove his hands from his pockets. He had no reason to. No one in this room posed a significant threat to him, “You’re right. It won’t change anything but I can’t risk letting you live either.”
“I am thinking of the greater good of mankind, surely you can understand-”
“Blah blah blah,” Gojo mocked, taking his hand out of his pocket to make a hand puppet as he mocked him, “It’s nothing personal. Oh, what’s that old saying humans wrote in that book you guys have been raving about for centuries: The lord giveth and the lord taketh away? Well, this is just me taketh….-ing away.” He put the one hand that wasn’t in his pocket, on top of the archbishop’s head, “Well maybe it’s a little personal too. You make me want to puke.” Gojo pulled the head off of the archbishop’s shoulders causing blood to spray all over the office. Nanami pulled his guns at the same time, aiming them at the closest vampire. They turned to look at him in enough time for them to see him shoot. The man pushed the woman aside, taking the bullet to the chest, but it did not hit his heart. The silver bullet made his flesh sizzle and smoke. The woman growled and launched herself at Nanami, a truly foolish move that made him wonder if these two were even trained in combat.
“Leave one alive,” Gojo directed before tossing the archbishops head like a ball into the woman hard enough to pulverize the thing and change the course of her body as it soared through the air. It allowed Nanami to focus on the man just behind her making his attack. He shot him again but the vampire dodged. At this Nanami wondered what had been the logic behind taking the first shot. Nanami breathed in and recognized the way their scents intermingled. With them so close together it was hard to tell who was who, only that there were two vampires. They were mated.
“They’re mated. If we kill one, we won’t get anything out of the other,” Nanami answered.
“And you would know all about that wouldn’t you?”
“So would you Gojo. Let’s not talk about lengths we’d go to for love,” Nanami gritted out. “Oh, I really got under your skin. Alright, alright, I’m in a glass house, I know when to stop throwing stones,” he chuckled before joining the fray to get both vampires subdued. It wasn’t hard. They were strong fighters and keeping them alive meant both Nanami and Gojo had to fight. Gojo’s power was absolute and destructive, better suited for obliterating enemies. He wasn’t very good at subduing. Nanami’s expert precision made it possible to inflict immobilizing wounds while Gojo kept them fighting for their lives unable to divert from defense lest they be killed by any one of the blows Gojo threw.
When their bodies hit the floor they hissed and cursed at Gojo and Nanami bound them and picked up one each. Gojo put a hand on Nanami’s shoulder teleported them deep underground, in a place that very few people knew about. Nanami hadn’t been there since he decided to spare your life. He put the blessed cuffs on the vampires,and set the other bindings so that they could not move. They yelled and cursed the whole time and Nanami was unmoved. Gojo pulled up an old wooden chair and sat in it backwards, resting his arms over the back of the chair in an awkward looking position.
“Alright, who knows the most about the Viscount’s plans?”
“Fuck you, I’m not telling you anything, you damn sycophant of a lying idol!” the man spit.
“So it’s you? Well, you should start talking, because Nanami here is precise with a knife he can cut the flesh off of a vampire without killing it, and the best part is, your healing factor will make sure there’s always more flesh to be cut away.”
“Do what you want to me! I’m not talking.”
“You?” Gojo laughed, “No, we’re not going to do anything to you. We need you to be able to give us information. I was talking about your mate, silly.”
Nanami watched the horror flash across the vampire’s face as they met eyes.
“So first question. What is the woman that the Viscount wants badly enough to infiltrate the church?”
Only four vampires seemed to have lived in this church for a long time. The belongings of the others were still in suitcases. They seemed to only just have arrived. Rotten luck on their part really, if they were a day later they would have avoided this place all together. Or maybe they would have strolled on to the grounds unaware that it was freshly hallowed and died anyway. At least that would have been a quick death. You couldn’t imagine having your throat ripped out by a blood crazed monster was pleasant. Though you supposed it served them right considering the lives they’d taken. Maybe Nanami was right, you were just doing what you had always done which was kill vampires, now you were just… less wasteful. You huffed unsatisfied with that conclusion. It just made you more dangerous to Nanami. Though you supposed you hadn’t attacked him before and you didn’t get the urge to attack him this morning. You also weren’t particularly hungry, and probably wouldn’t be for some time. You found a room with a good amount of very pretty dresses made for a petite frame. When you opened the wardrobe the scent that came out was all at once familiar like cloves and nutmeg. You could see the first young woman you’d come across in this church in your mind’s eye. The fashion of these dresses was familiar to you. They looked like something fresh out of the gilded age. Beautiful piece with careful embroidering, and she had a good amount of petticoats. Old vampires were prone to nostalgia and seeing their feeders in garb from their prime usually endeared them to him.
When you were with the Viscount you’d always dressed like Buttercup from The Princess Bride. He was an old vampire, he would never say how old but you were sure that the setting of The Princess Bride fit. These dresses didn’t look as comfortable as yours had been. There was so much fabric she was meant to carry around, and feeders were not known for being a strong bunch. Being bled on a schedule made many girls weak and anemic and many vampires didn’t care to take very good care of them, to balance their diet with lots of iron and potassium. Once the blood quality declined the feeder was killed. You supposed you were lucky enough that the Viscount was particular about his girls. You were all monitored by a physician and fed a careful diet to keep you producing enough red blood cells to not only survive but to make a full bodied bottle of blood for him and his guests.
You made a soft sound of disgust thinking of it. You wished you’d been of the mind to bury that woman. She had been through so much that in the end… she thanked you. You wondered if you would still feel thankful to rest in the end. While you searched around you noticed a journal hidden deep in the wardrobe. You opened it curiously and read the contents.
“My name is Jamika. They call me Jane but I don’t want to forget what my real name is. I’m terrified I’ll forget because no one calls me it here. I want to go home. I want my mom. I know I’m too old to want my mom, and I shouldn’t cry. If they catch me it’ll be bad. But I want to go home. God please let me go home.” It was dated February 2004. She was probably just a child then. They preferred to get feeders young. The more dependent they were on their vampire masters the less they tried to run. You wondered how she got her hands on a journal, and she kept it for so long. This wasn’t the kind of thing they liked feeders to remember. They preferred that life outside of them was forgotten.
Another entry read, “I am tired all the time. I nearly fell asleep during my chores. An older woman prodded me with the end of her broom. It left a really bad bruise but I don’t think she did it that hard. It didn’t hurt. I don’t feel good. But when Brandy told one of them she felt ill they took her away and she hasn’t been back. I don’t think she’s alive. I don’t want to die.”
Jamika had good instincts. To risk the chance of disease ruining the “crop” feeders who showed signs of illness were usually killed outright. Especially if they were a part of a “winery”- vampire run establishments that ran a cover as a normal winery to the human world but they casked and barreled blood to vampires. Her conditions made you believe that she had been in a place much like that.
You skimmed her journal, feeling tears prick at your eyes as you remembered similar experiences, the post feed weakness, the way they clung to you afterward, seeking out warmth like reptiles even though they’d stolen it all. You remembered the way the cold used to blow right through you. The Viscount used to use it as an excuse to put you under his cloak with him forcing your bodies close together.
“I was given to a new blood drinker. She is strange but does not seem violent. When I talk to the others they all talk about how great she is, except I don’t believe them. They talk about her like a God. It doesn’t sound right. It sounds… insincere. They all say I’ll love her too, soon. I hope not. I don’t want to be like them. My god I’m so tired. I just want this to end.” June 2011
“They moved me again. It’s underground. They keep saying I’m a special one. If it means they stop biting me I’ll take it. No one has fed from me in three months. I am starting to feel stronger again. The tunnels are hard to understand. I walk them during the day. There’s no sunlight down here but the blood drinkers sleep anyway. I will find a way out or die trying.” September 2019
“I am not the same. They made me drink something and for three days I burned. I thought they set me on fire. My skin feels raw, writing this is loud, and I am so thirsty. God, what have they done to me?” March 2020
“I am losing myself. I have to check this journal sometimes to remember who I am. I am Jamika… but it feels wrong to call myself that. Jamika would have died before drinking blood the way I do. They call me Jane and it’s starting to feel like a more apt name. I know Jane better. I killed a child today. A young feeder, with sweet blood. They want me to be strong. They say I have a special place in a new world. I don’t want to do this anymore.” October 2021
That was the last entry you could bear to read. You’d skipped many more. If that broken-nosed vampire hadn’t messed up this would have been you. If you hadn’t ran and stumbled into the life of someone equipped to help you, you would have been just like Jamika. You closed the journal and stared at the unassuming cover. Her body was long gone, but that wasn’t really her anymore. She’d lost herself years ago. This journal though, was all that was left of the girl she had once been. You would put it to rest.
You went outside and found that it was much later than you expected. The sun was setting. A certain amount of nervousness went through your body. Nanami said that he wouldn’t be gone long. He had been gone a very long time. You hoped he was alright. The thought of anything happening to him made your stomach twist. Nevertheless, having a task in mind kept you from dwelling too long on it. You went around to the little shed around the back filled with tools. You grabbed a shovel and went searching for a good place to bury the journal. It didn’t take you long to dig a deep hole and when you put the journal inside you murmured a prayer for her. Maybe God wouldn’t hear it because you were a vampire, but maybe it was the thought that counted. You went back towards the church at around twilight, when the sky was more velvet blue with only a thin line of saturated orange and pink at the horizon.
If you didn’t have Nanami, would you have lost yourself completely? He was there every step of the way reminding you of your rage, your drive to learn how to fight, and inadvertently reminding you of simple joys. An evenly matched conversation in which you feared no bodily harm for your thoughts, the amusement of teasing someone else with no fear for a wounded ego. The egos of vampires ran deep and you’d seen many a young woman be killed because she scorned one. Nanami was not that way. He was calm, somewhat stoic, but his rye sense of humor had been a source of comfort for so long.
You glanced out at the tree line longingly and then you froze. Like a startled deer your legs locked and you stopped in your tracks, staring out between two trees. Your throat immediately went dry and your heart began to pound. The figure between the two trees was familiar to you and you hadn’t seen it in more than 3 years. The Viscount Alexi Cordelius stood on what must be the boundary between hallowed and secular ground. He was as you remembered him, in a loose white tunic tucked into high waisted pants that you were sure were older than you, and boots that laced all the way up to the knee. His dark hair curled in big spirals that made the hair that wasn’t long enough to fully curl stick up like waves of the ocean. His eyes were piercing even so far away, a subdued grayish violet, like Elizabeth Taylor.
“Well a vampire nun on holy ground. You really are special,” he said in a voice that was soft like crushed velvet, and deep enough to find utterly soothing if you didn’t know how dangerous he was.
“Viscount.” You addressed stiffly.
“Oh, pet, we know each other well enough for me to be more than my title to you.”
“You don’t know me at all,” you said, taking a step backward.
“You don’t smell like yourself,” he said, “You smell utterly intoxicating as always but there’s someone else there. You’re mated? You left me behind so easily. I am curious about the vampire who could do what I couldn’t.”
Having him mention Nanami even though he didn’t know him by name set every nerve in your body on edge. Before you could stop the sound you were hissing, like every monster you ever came in contact with. You reacted like a beast whose home had been threatened.
“Ooo,” he purred, lips twisting up in a beautiful yet sinister smirk, “I’d really like to meet the vampire that tamed you. What would you do for me to keep him safe?”
“I would tear your heart from your body,” you said on a hard breath. The way your body was reacting to his threats was alarming but you couldn’t help it. You wanted to rip his head from his body, string him up from the church steeple as an example to everyone who thought about attacking Nanami.
“I don’t sense another here. When will your mate be back, I have to see if he’s worthy of my greatest creation.”
“You won’t touch him.”
“Will you stop me?” He grinned. You knew that he wanted you to step off of hallowed ground so that he could ambush you. The Viscount was an old vampire, and a natural born one at that. He had powers that you knew nothing about and ones that you couldn’t comprehend. Your only protection was the church, but Nanami would be coming back and he would be vulnerable.
“I won’t let you take me.”
“You’re a fighter. I should have known better than to let those dullards look after you, You always needed special attention. Does he know how to take care of you? Does he know to treat you special, or do you allow him to treat you like you’re common?”
“… What am I?”
He laughed, “You’re a vampire. You haven’t figured that out yet.”
“But I… fed on vampires,” you argued, “And I’m on holy ground-“
“Oh, so you know that already? Is that what happened to my friends in this previously disgraced church? Well at least they went to a good cause.”
“Am I… can I give birth to vampires?”
“Why? Did you let that nobody into your secret garden?” He smiled but you still knew his face well enough to detect the anger on it. His thin straight nose wrinkled a little and his eyes narrowed just a bit.
You frowned at his choice of words and your distaste made his face light up with recognition.
“Oh you did. Naughty nun,” he laughed, “You are not a divine mother. It would have been a waste to use you as mere breeding stock. No you are much, much more special to me. So you must know I won’t stop until I have you. I’ll do whatever I must to get you back, I’ll even forgive your triste with a common vampire, because you will be the queen of this damned world when I’m done with it.” Though he said his words calmly his lips were tense. They were full, dusty pink, soft to the touch- you remembered- but when he was angry they thinned a bit with tension.
“What does that mean?” You asked.
“It means you are so much more than you can even imagine and far more than a simple vampire could hope to handle.”
“And if you take me, what’s stopping me from just killing you, huh? If that’s what I’m supposed to do? If I was made to kill vampires.”
“If you think you can, I’d be delighted to go out that way and live as a part of you for all eternity.”
Your entire being recoiled at that idea. As you went to argue with him you heard the sound of an approaching car. Your heart dropped and it was already at the soles of your feet so it might as well have been in the pits of hell. Nanami was coming back. The Viscount tilted his head listening to the tell tale sound of tires on a dirt road.
“That must be him. Let me greet my adversary.”
“No. NO! Nanami! Turn back!” You wailed, not daring to step past the boundaries of the church. If the Viscount got you whatever plans he wished to force upon the world would be another crucial step forward towards fruition.
“The VISCOUNT IS HERE!” You yelled again as the Viscount gave you a cruel smile.
“Catch me if you dare,” he taunted before bolting off in the direction of the dirt road. You darted off to, going around the perimeter to the drive and throwing open the church gates just in case he made it in, so there would be no roadblocks. You stood between the gates, peering out at the road anxiously. You screamed for Nanami again.
Chapter 6 Summary: After your kiss with Nanami you’re left to wonder at the state of your relationship with him as the two of you go on a mission to take back a small church as your new base of operations. Nanami makes his intentions with you very clear in the end.
Warnings: talk of death, blood, gore… but still no worse than canon, NSFW, Smut
You woke up with your head pillowed on Nanami’s chest, which was not how you fell asleep. You sat up slowly, so as not to wake Nanami as you made your escape from his loose hold around your waist. As you looked down at him you noticed how relaxed his face was, and how one of his hands rested on his stomach. He slept like the dead, which was a very vampirish thing to do. All he needed was a coffin and he’d be a regular Dracula. You’d never be able to sleep in a coffin. You tossed and turned too much. As you moved away from him his other arm, the one that had apparently been wrapped around your waist, holding you to his side, fell to the mattress. At least the agility that vampirism allotted you made you nimble enough not to jostle the bed as you got out of it. You went to the ensuite to freshen up, and then got dressed. You couldn’t stand to linger in that bed room. Despite the fact that it had been hours since that kiss, your lips still felt like they were tingling from it. This was worse and better than the way you felt after feeding from him. You hadn’t taken anything from him, not technically, though you were sure it was against some kind of code for him to do that, but he had asked to kiss you. You hadn’t taken any more than he willingly gave. Though you suppose the same could be said for his blood. He had given that freely as well, you suppose the big difference there was that you hadn’t wanted it. You’d made your peace with dying.
You thought all of this over downstairs in the kitchen, rooting through the cabinets for coffee or tea. You could at least reliably make that. As you set a french press you heard the tell tale whistle of metal through the air and turned fast enough to catch a metal pike that would have gone through your skull. You turned to look at the origin of the weapon and found Gojo wearing a sleep mask, and his pajama pants.
“You’re not screaming in agony, so it seems all holy metals have no effect on you at all,” he said, continuing into the kitchen as if he didn’t just make an attempt on your life. You stared at the metal pike in your hand unsure of what to do with it. “Um… did you just try to kill me?”
“No. If I was trying you’d be dead.”
“Right. Just testing my reflexes then,” you concluded, setting the pike on the counter so you could continue your task.
“You did well,” he congratulated. You nodded slowly trying to go back to what you were doing, but now you were on edge.
“So how did you sleep?” Gojo asked patiently.
“Fine.”
“So are you and Nanami really nothing more than friends? Because I thought for sure I would hear some bed rocking.”
You stared at him in open shock that he was bold enough to ask you something like that, “He is a priest.”
“So? He’s still a man, and you’re a woman. And he’s into that… are you into men?”
“I like men just fine, things aren’t like that with Nanami,” you said and you weren’t even sure if you were lying or not. You weren’t sure if Nanami would have gone further or not last night. You really didn’t understand his motivations at all, which was weird for you. He was such a straightforward person so you could usually assume the motivations behind most of his actions, but this was a true mystery. There was nothing to really gain from it… right?
“Hm, well if you like men just fine, I’ve always been curious about the pleasures of a vampire, but I couldn’t find one that wasn’t set on killing all humans, and the last time I shacked up with someone who had a thing against humans it didn’t end well.”
“… Sorry, I’m a nun,” you said in a deadpanned tone.
He shrugged, “You could just say no. You’re loyal to Nanami and I respect that. In fact, it’s in your best interest. I don’t have a great many friends, so if anything happens to Nanami and even suspect that you were behind it, I’ll make you wish for death long before I give it to you.”
“I already wish for it.”
“Well then I’ll be sure you’re begging me to kill you.”
You sighed, “If something happened to Nanami, I would be asking you to kill me. But I get your point. You’re protective of him. I know my word doesn’t mean much to you, but I would die before I hurt Nanami, and if I’m left behind and Nanami’s no more for this world… well it wasn’t for lack of trying to go with him.”
“Right…. And you two are just friends. Cool. That’s not confusing,” he chuckled.
“I wouldn’t even call us friends. Just people bound together by a promise .”
“So you’re married.”
“He’s going to kill me at the end of this.”
“So there’s a few more conditions on ‘til death do us part,” he shrugged nonchalantly.
You stared at him, at a loss for words. He seemed set on misinterpreting everything you said.
“I have known Nanami since his parents died, which was thirteen years ago. Cosmically it’s a short time, but it’s a good portion of his life. In that time he’s had one other friend, and then you.”
You cocked your head curiously. “Before you there was another kid in seminary school, hunting vampires to be another soldier of the cloth. He was killed on a hunt. Nanami left the parish for a few years, and came back when he was 23. He was on his own before you came along. My life has too many moving parts to sit around taking orders from the church all the time. But Nanami seemed suited to the work. Well he used to be, now I’m not so sure.”
“He’s a good person. I’m not the most religious, but the sisters have nothing but good things to say about Nanami and-”
“Truth be told, Nanami’s not particularly faithful either. He’s just suited to the work. When he talks people listen. And while his belief in the text written by man is not strong, he has a strong sense of morality and in some ways is better. He’s not working for a ticket to heaven, because he doesn’t believe there is one for him. He’s doing it because it’s honest work and it’s good work.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but heard movement upstairs and thought better of it. Gojo let silence continue on. You made your own coffee, then a second mug of just black coffee as you heard Nanami’s footsteps on the stairs. He came into the kitchen and you turned with a mug of coffee.
“Good morning, Father Nanami,” you said and you watched his mouth twitch in slight annoyance but he nodded at you nonetheless.
“Morning. Gojo, what’s our next move for today.”
“Wait, you didn’t make me a cup of coffee!” Gojo complained.
You stared wide eyed, “I don’t know how you like your coffee.”
He grinned, “I don’t.”
“Then why-”
“Today, I need you two to get the hell out of my house. So we’re taking back an old church. And by we I mean you,” Gojo cut you off.
“Taking back a church? From whom?” Nanami questioned.
“Vampires of course. It’s good land, and it’s a shame that the church let it fall in the first place. There’s a small coven, just four vampires who inhabit it. You two can handle that right?”
“What will you be doing?” Nanami asked. “I will be gathering the materials to sanctify the church. And I need you two to hop to it. Tonight is a full moon, and if you don’t get it done today, then I won’t be able to get you two out of here until next month and that is not an option.”
With that Gojo grabbed a poptart from the cabinet and left, therefore leaving you and Nanami alone. He looked the same as always in all black, ready to go bust another den of vampires. You found your gaze lingering on him, as if you expected to find some obvious physical change in him after a singular kiss. You shook your head in disappointment with yourself. You could just ask him what that was about. It would be easier than trying to glean meaning out of what happened on your own.
“Um, Nanami,” you called hesitantly.
“We should get ready to leave,” he said abruptly, “Your weapons are upstairs”
If ever that was a hint not to ask your question. Maybe it was just because Gojo was around. Nevertheless, it was hard to get the courage back to ask him about it right away so you just did as he said, taking your mug of coffee with you as you went upstairs to gather your things. The two of you would have the whole car ride to talk about it anyway.
Except in the car he played music the whole time. It was far too loud to hold a conversation, heavy drums, screamed lyrics, the whole nine yards. Plus, the church wasn’t terribly far away. It was 45 minutes away in the woods, a quaint chapel with vibrant stained glass in the windows. The stone building put you on edge for some reason. It reminded you of the kind of thing you’d see in a horror movie. Maybe it was a place where witches were hanged and people today went missing.
“What’s our plan?” you asked Nanami.
“Well it’s day time, so they’re probably sleeping. I can’t imagine they get many human visitors way out here. It’s probably just a meeting place for vampires.”
“And we’ll be calling this place home? I can feel the ghosts of racist white people calling me slurs.”
He looked at you then the church and sort of huffed a little laugh, “I see what you mean. Come on.”
You thought that the door might be locked when Nanami went up to it, but it opened with a long creak. The inside was nicer than you expected. The stone flooring had a nice finish on it still, and the inside of the church smelled fresh. These vampires were certainly keeping the place in top shape. When you saw Nanami pull his weapon you did the same, taking a silver stake from the sheath at your thigh. You supposed there was absolutely no reason to pretend like you weren’t here to slay vampires.
Sunlight filtered through the stained glass windows, painting parts of the room vibrant jewel tones. You heard movement to your left, and both you and Nanami looked in that direction. You took a deep breath, smelling the sharp scent of a vampire. To be fair, this place reeked of vampires, but you could tell the difference between a lingering scent, and a new approaching one. This one was like cloves and nutmeg, a strong spiced scent like autumn. It was pleasant, but very nearly overwhelming. The approaching vampire was a woman who looked like she’d just stepped out of the pages of a Jane Austen novel. She took a breath to alert the others, but you’d already darted across the room and put your stake through her heart. You held her body close to yours to keep her from falling too loudly. Her jaw dropped in a silent scream. Her eyes violet like amethyst gems stared right into yours but there was no anger in her stare.
“Thank… you,” she whispered, and you felt your body go cold. You were frozen there, looking at her pale skin. The skin of her throat and chest were scarred with bite marks, the kind that still lingered on your body if you knew where to look. Just like yours, they had faded with the transformation from human to vampire. Somebody changed a feeder, but why? You leaned forward to breathe in the last of her scent and found that she smelled quite nice. You wondered if that’s what people smelled from you. You turned to look at Nanami with wide confused eyes. He, of course, had heard the exchange.
“What is this place?” you said softly
“Stay sharp,” he said curtly instead of answering. Truth be told, he had no more of an idea about what was happening than you did.
You carefully set the woman on the ground, before continuing through the church. But now you couldn’t help but wonder why this place was Gojo’s pick for relocation. What was so special about it? There was a door at the end of a hallway that you opened, letting Nanami take the lead down the dark staircase. You thought that the other vampires would be sleeping, but you could hear voices from far off. This basement had to run deeper than you knew. It was pitch black. Vampires had no need for light. Your vision was a good deal better in the dark. You wondered if Nanami was okay. His vision was not as good as yours without light. With that in mind you gently grabbed his shirt and pulled him back so you could be in front. The stone walls on either side of you were cold, and there was a dampness in the air that seemed inevitable with the underground. This place was obviously taken care of. It did not smell, except for a faint earthy scent, and the ground beneath you was smooth and even.
As you drew closer the voices grew louder, at least seven distinct voices could be heard. Four out of seven were male voices, two were definitely female and the last one you couldn’t quite place. They’d only said one word. The two of you passed many rooms in your journey, each one was empty. It seemed they were all in a meeting of some sort, in a large hall, that made their voices echo. As the two of you approached the hall began to take on a red glow on the lower half of the walls and reflected off of the floor.
“Cordelius expects us to be ready to move tonight. If you idiots hadn’t let her get away in the first place we wouldn’t be scrambling now,” a woman said.
“We found another one just like her!” an eerily familiar voice said. Your heart was in the pit of your stomach.
“Emmy is a peace offering, if we want a place in the new world that old bat is building we need her.”
“I don’t understand what his damn fascination is with that damn feeder. She was always more trouble than she was worth. He sullied her blood, you know? Emmy’s the real deal. A genuine Eve of the new world. He should be over the moon that we found her. In fact we did him a favor, losing that troublemaker. The church has her now, they’ve probably offed her by now.” “We know they haven’t! Tara’s security had eyes on her!”
“So they’re torturing the stupid bitch!”
You heard the sounds of a scuffle and the hard thump of a fist hitting flesh. The man cried out.
“They’re using her as a weapon against us! Do you have any idea what will happen when they figure out what she can really do! She took out one of the undead on her own, and she’s weakened! If she starts feeding like she’s supposed to all of us are dead.”
You and Nanami were both around the corner from the hall. The lower half of the walls, and the floor were an ominous red, while the ceiling shined a vibrant blue. Maybe they had LEDs in the hall, but why would they? At any rate, it was obvious that they were talking about you. Obviously, if you drank human blood you’d be a stronger, quicker, deadlier weapon, but you would also be a monster.
“Where is Emmy?” A new female voice spoke, “Doesn’t usually take her so long to come back.”
“Send the other girl to go get her,” the previous woman said.
“Rebecca,” a man called and you heard the corresponding movement. It seemed like you weren’t going to be able to eavesdrop anymore. This woman would surely see the two of you. You took a deep breath, and among the usual scents of a normal vampire was one like fresh lilac and patchouli. Another turned feeder? You glanced at Nanami so that he knew what you were going to do. You had to stake her, and once you did, you knew the vampires in the hall would react. You gripped the stake in your hand as tightly as you could, then she came around the corner. Death found her before she even knew it.
“What was that?!” a woman exclaimed and Nanami moved around you to shoot the closest vampires. The sound of his guns firing with deadly precision was deafening as it echoed in the hall. You set the woman on the ground gently, pulling your stake out of her chest before standing to your full height to help Nanami. You turned in time to see an attack coming from the left. You sprang, your body colliding with the man who meant to take him out. His back hit a pillar before he fell down on top of you. You moved quickly to get in a better position. In his dazed state you got him onto his back and lifted the stake to kill him, then he said your name. It gave you pause, and you really took the chance to look at him. He was one of the vampires who were supposed to take you out to feed two years ago when you made your escape to the church. He had ashen skin, dramatic side burns, and a thin nose that had been broken quite a few times.
He punched you in the stomach and got you off your balance, grabbing at your wrists to try and restrain you.
“Kill the fucker with the guns, I’ve got the fuckin prized pony!” he bellowed to the other vampires in the room. You realized that there were more vampires in the hall, most of them had been silent through the discussion. There were too many. At least 15. You’d definitely stumbled across some kind of meeting. The rapid fire of Nanami’s guns stopped with a click and you knew he was out of ammo.
Nanami let out a heavy sigh. There were at least three vampires coming right at him immediately. He dodged their attack, reaching behind him for the weapon strapped to his back. It was a blessed cleaver, sharp enough to take off a vampire’s head, and the blessings on the blade saw to it that the blow was fatal. Still getting the blade left him open to attacks. A vampire punched him hard enough to send him into one of the pillars in the room. He did manage to get the blade free as they approached. He got back to his feet, unwrapping the blade from it’s cloth bindings. The white, black-dotted fabric made for great knuckle protection as he wound it around his hand. A set of fangs were bared and headed straight for his face and he shoved his fist in their mouth, grimacing against the enormous pressure of supernaturally strong jaws around his hand. He lifted the now uncovered blade and cleaved their head from their shoulders. He had to pry the dead jaws of the vampire off of his hand and it fell with a thud. It gave the other attackers pause. They expected the body of their ally to move but it did not. Nanami used their hesitation to go for you. Four vampires were moving with you, trying to take you from him. He had the time to cleave two of their necks before he was being mobbed again.
That was all the assistance you needed. With your dominant hand free you were able to attack. Shoving it through the nearest vampire’s chest and taking out its heart. It wasn’t enough to simply take it. If regained in enough time, it could be put back in the vampire. The vampire sure tried to take it back from you. In a knee jerk move you brought the heart to your mouth and bit it, sinking your razor sharp fangs into the organ, and using your now free hand to protect yourself.
Vampire blood was not sustaining to vampires. If a vampire bit another vampire it was purely for pleasure. It did not trigger the feeding frenzy that could make it so dangerous for a vampire to feed directly from a human host (which is why blood was often bottled or put in special casks for guests). So if you had the mind to think, you would have been confused about what happened next.
The hunger that possessed you was unlike any you had ever experienced. Suddenly you were parched, throat burning with the need for blood. You had never experienced anything like this… even when you first encountered Nanami’s blood. It was good, great even, but it wasn’t this. You blacked out.
Nanami heard the vicious growling that erupted behind him as he fought. He recognized your growls specifically, but he couldn’t hazard a look. He could only hope that the sound of tearing flesh and broken bones were by your hand. An old vampire was at his throat. She, of course, did not look old but the power behind her strikes and her abilities gave her age away. He held a hand at her throat, and her hand was holding his other one (the one with the cleaver). Every second that passed her fangs drew closer to their mark. His arm shook with exertion his own growls joining the vicious sounds echoing in the hall. Frantic screams added a truly chilling chorus to the mix. Just when he felt like the arm holding this vampire back was going to give out, something knocked into her like a freight train. It was too fast for even Nanami’s eyes to follow. He saw in the end it was a body that had been torn in half, but did not bleed. He turned in the direction that the carcass came from. You stood there for a split second before you were moving too fast for him to see you anymore. But in that split second he noticed that your mouth all the way down to your chest was dripping with blood. He felt the whoosh of air as you leapt over him on the ground to launch your body at the vampire that had already coiled herself to spring. You both hit the ground hard, rolling around like feuding lions. His eyes took in the rest of the room. Not all of the bodies were drained. Some were bleeding out on the floor, hearts snatched from their chests and discarded with chunks bit out of them a few feet away from them. The red glow in the room only seemed more intense and the blood splatters on the vibrant blue ceiling shone with a ghastly sort of beauty. A sickening crunch and snap called Nanami’s attention back to the fight. He had only looked away for a few seconds. You were crouched over the vampire’s body, the greedy sound of hasty glugs told him that you were drinking her blood. His grip on the cleaver in his hand tightened.
“Y/N,” he called, stunned by your actions. Vampires didn’t taste particularly good to other vampires. They bit each other for pleasure, not to feed. He couldn’t understand what you were doing. But you turned sharply as he moved towards you, your wide dark eyes appraising him for a split second before you were on top of him. His head smacked the stone floor sharply, and he winced. His weapon suddenly felt impossibly heavy in his hand now.
“Y/N, dammit this isn’t you,” he said as you loomed over him, “Don’t do this.”
You breathed in sharply, before your gaze went to his arm, the one holding his weapon. You grabbed his wrist and he winced expecting you to take off his hand or inflict some other form of violence to stop him from using the holy weapon against you. Instead you pressed your nose against his wrist, breathing in slowly. You trailed your nose from wrist up his arm, to his neck. He should have taken the opportunity, taken your head off when he felt your lips on his neck, slick with blood, and warm with the flush of feeding. Yet, he did nothing, paralyzed in the moment. You pulled back to look him in the eyes and he stared at you, confused that you hadn’t attacked him. Your eyes were still unfocused. You obviously weren’t yourself still, but you made no move to attack. You took his face in your hand, smudging blood on his face and yet he found he did not mind. And he didn’t mind when your bloody lips pressed against his.
Similar to the previous night, Nanami found himself wanting to be as close to you as physically possible. He let go of the cleaver in favor of wrapping his arms around your body, taking you off balance to roll so that you were beneath him. His mouth moved with yours in hurried, hungry patterns, ones you wouldn’t let escalate the night before, too busy worrying about things that had no bearing on your present moment. He could feel the sharp edge of your nails even through his shirt. If you were all there, you would stop this. That thought sobered him. He pulled away from you sharply, ignoring the desperate sound you made at him.
“Hey, snap out of it,” he said firmly, “Listen to me, you’re not yourself.” He held your face in his hand to keep your gaze on his. You made another desperate whining sound and he realized expecting you to come down from a blood frenzy while surrounded by the blood you fed on was asinine.
“Come on,” he said, moving to pick you up cautiously. At any moment, he was aware that you could turn on him. Especially as he moved you away from the blood you so desired. It would be easier to just kill you while you weren’t trying to fight him. Still, he picked you up, carrying you out of the winding halls beneath the church. In the light of day the carnage staining your body was much more gruesome than he could have fathomed in the dark. You were covered in blood, and now so was he. You hissed at the light and his heart dropped a moment. Was this it? Was this the moment where whatever resistance you had to normal vampire weaknesses vanished? Or maybe the abrupt change from dark to light was drastic for such sensitive eyes and he was worrying over nothing.
“Nanami,” you murmured, voice slurred together a bit.
“I’m here.”
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine.”
“I didn’t hurt you did I?” your voice was smaller with that question and so he looked down at you.
Coming back to yourself felt foggy, like when you stop drinking at a party and suddenly the lights inside your brain turn back on an hour later. You’re still drunk, but you’re self aware again, and you can acknowledge that you’re drunk and maybe you feel bad. You felt full, like a bag of liquid sloshing around with every step Nanami took. When you came back to yourself you first noticed Nanami’s scent, and then the warmth of his touch. The last thing you noticed was all the blood on him, smudged across his neck, and all over his mouth.
“No. You didn’t.”
You let out a relieved sigh, “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t even smell you bleeding.”
“You didn’t go into a frenzy over my blood. I don’t think I’m bleeding.” He set you on a nearby pew and took a seat beside you, “Think,” he urged. “Try to remember, I know you can.”
You ran your hands down your face, and you felt how wet your hands and face were. They were both covered in blood. And you recalled the time you lost to the blood frenzy.
“Oh my god. Oh my god,” you whispered.
“Hey, you only attacked vampires. I don’t think you had any intentions of hurting me,” Nanami said, trying to comfort you.
“What am I?”
He faltered, “I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry,” you hung your head.
“What are you sorry about? You saved my life.”
“I kissed you while I was like that. I didn’t even ask. I basically assaulted you-”
“Consider yourself forgiven. We’ve kissed before you know.”
“And you asked me.”
“I didn’t mind,” He answered.
“I don’t understand you,” you admitted, sounding utterly defeated, “I’m too tired to try.”
“Rest. I’ll call Gojo, tell him we’re finished here.”
You nodded, easing yourself back to lie down on the church pew.
Nanami lingered for a moment, wishing he had something to cover you with. He didn’t so he set upon making sure that the small church was secure before going outside to call Gojo. The sun was high in the sky as he went out. He took a deep breath to clear his head, and then made the call. He told Gojo an edited version of the events that took place in the church. He didn’t need to know that you drained the blood from over a dozen vampires, he didn’t need to know that you seemed to be a commodity worth throwing ones life over. Vampires didn’t risk their lives easily, and they were set on taking you, not killing you. If they meant to kill you, they probably wouldn’t be dead right now. There were a lot of details he left out for your protection and also for his. Because there was no logical reason why you were still alive after what happened today. If he, himself, had anything close to a self preservation instinct he wouldn’t be lying for you. When he went back inside of the church, he set upon cleaning up any evidence that would make his words an obvious lie.
When you woke up it was sunset. You stared at the colored light streaming through the stained glass windows for a moment, still waiting for your brain to turn on completely. You felt full. Completely and utterly satisfied, something you’d never felt before. Animal blood kept you moving, it made the thirst bearable so that you wouldn’t be a threat to humans but you were always thirsty. You didn’t feel thirsty. You felt… well you weren’t sure what you were feeling. You got up, and walked around the small church until you found a bathroom. You looked at your face in the mirror. Blood was smeared all over you. You knew that your hands were covered in red, dried blood caked under your fingernails. Before you even looked in the mirror you knew your face had to be a mess. Your skin felt tight with dried blood on it. Still, seeing it was harrowing. You looked every bit like a thing right out of a horror movie… like the vampires you used to see stumbling out of the other feeders’ rooms, too blood drunk to care about their mess. You felt disgusting. You turned on the water and scrubbed at your face, trying to get the blood off as quickly as possible. Then when that was done you scrubbed at your hands, choking on horrified sobs, as tears made your sight swim. Everything was just a wash of red in the sink, until red faced to pink, and then eventually the water ran clear. Your breath heaved and hitched as you cried. You never wanted any of this. You’d give anything to just be a normal woman.
You noticed your clothes and you knew there was nothing you could do about the rapidly stiffening fabric. You didn’t bring a change of clothes with you. With that, you left out of the bathroom to go find Nanami. You could hear a rhythmic thud from outside and figured it was him. You stepped outside into the light of the setting sun, scanning the area before you heard a grunt and another thud. He was around back.
He too was in the light of the setting sun, and it glistened on his bare back, that was smudged with blood and sparkling with the sweat on his skin. He lifted an ax above his head and brought it down swiftly on the log in front of him. You moved forward slowly, feeling a bit in a daze. You stepped on a twig and drew his eye. He looked over his shoulder at you and then snatched the ax out of the stump the log was resting on.
“How are you?”
“‘M fine,” you mumbled, “Why are you out here looking like a sexy ax murderer?” you asked.
He huffed a little laugh, turning towards you, “I need a fire for the pyre.”
“Right,” you nodded, remembering all the bodies beneath the church. Even the sight of Nanami’s pecs, perky and glistening, couldn’t lift your spirits.
“They were all vampires. You did what we always do.”
“You drain vampires too?” you asked bitterly.
“It’s better than draining humans.”
“I wish I didn’t drain anyone.”
“They were vampires,” he insisted.
“I’m a vampire! Worst of all, I’m a cannibal.”
“I don’t think you are. Gojo already had his doubts about you being a vampire. This proved it.”
“Did you tell him about this? Does he have any idea what I might be?”
He shook his head, “No, I didn’t tell him. It wasn’t important. We did what he wanted, we got rid of the coven here and a few more vampires-”
“Nanami, this is important! You can’t just leave out the fact that I drank from them. And I was stronger! And they were good, Nanami. Especially the girls who used to be feeders. They were sweet,” Your voice took on a sort of mournful throbbing sound because there were tears collecting in your eyes as you thought of those women. They were probably in the same predicament as you, changed against their will after spending a whole life being bitten and fed from. You killed them that way. You were no better than any other leech.
“Nothing has changed,” He insisted, “You killed vampires-”
“If killing vampires is what we do, why won’t you kill me?! I’m just getting more dangerous! What if I kill you next?! What then?! Do you think I could live with myself if I hurt you?!” “I don’t think you can… hurt me, I mean. You were in a frenzy, and all you did was kiss me.”
Your whole body flushed as you remembered the feeling of his mouth moving against yours. The taste of blood was on his lips, and his body was warm and firm against yours. It had felt truly euphoric.
“Nanami,” you said miserably.
“Go get another log. I want to have this pyre going before sundown.”
You knew that meant he was done trying to convince you that you weren’t a monster. He was done talking to you in general, and honestly you didn’t know what else you could possibly say. He could be so stubborn and it was impossible to get him to feel differently about anything. The pyre was going strong when Gojo got there. He looked between the two of you curiously.
“Damn, what the hell happened to you?” Gojo asked you.
“There were more vampires than you said,” Nanami answered for you, “17 bodies on that pyre.”
“… You two are good at your jobs. Somebody’s gotten stronger,” He said lightly, but he peered over his black shades to look right at you. You stared back at him, wondering if maybe it was written on your face just how monstrous you’d become. Maybe you wanted him to know so he could do something about it. Nanami stepped in front of you, obscuring his view of you.
“Cordelius has turned a lot of women already. There were 7 women who used to be feeders in their midst.”
“All of them were failures, I’m sure, if Cordelius wasn’t here with them.”
“What’s so special about this chapel?” Nanami asked, abruptly changing the subject.
“It’s secluded, private, I think the stonework is charming, and it’s on the land where the last fallen angel was slain. So, there’s a lot of power here. It’s the only place in the country where a mother of vampires can be made.”
“What?” You asked.
“It needs to be hallowed again to thwart him,” Gojo continued. Gojo lifted up a stack of folded clothes.
“I need a priest and a nun.”
“I don’t know if I qualify as a nun-” “You took the vows, right?” He asked and you nodded, “And you haven’t recanted them?”
“I didn’t know that was an option!”
“You’re a nun. Just like Nanami is fully ordained. Change into your uniforms you two. I’ll be sure these remains are nothing but ashes. Nanami took both stacks of clothing and led the way back inside. The moment you were in the church there was a bright flash of red outside.
Changing into the habit felt more wrong than it ever had before. You avoided reflective surfaces, not wanting to see yourself like this. Nanami looked more like himself back in his robes. His rosary hung around his neck completing the all black clothing.
“Father,” you addressed sardonically.
He scoffed, “Come on.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” you said frantically.
“Neither do I. I’m sure Gojo will tell us.”
There were candles alight at the altar, a ceremonial night, and a few dubious powders. He took a flask out of his pocket and you could only assume it held holy water from the way he flicked it around him. Gojo looked every bit as angelic as one could, with a halo of white hair, bright blue eyes.
“You’ll both kneel in front of the altar and recite the prayer in front of you until I tell you to stop,” He instructed, flippantly.
You did as he said and Nanami joined.
Gojo chuckled, “My is that all I had to say to get you on your knees, Nanamin?”
Nanami glared at him. You might have laughed under normal circumstances. Instead you stared at the prayer written in front of you. Trying to be sure you didn’t mess it up. It was simple, just a few stanzas.
“Alright,” Gojo breathed in, “Begin.”
You read the prayer ahead of you, only to smell the sharp spicy scent of Gojo’s blood. He had a bright silver blade in his hand and drew the point of it across the his palm. His blood fell from a red line in his hand, but glowed bright blue as it hit the stone floors. A cool breeze rushed through the chapel, you felt it but the candles’ flames did not react to it at all. He blessed the church, reciting words in a language you didn’t know, while letting his blood fall upon the church floor as he walked around it.
“And done,” Gojo announced. You lifted your eyes from the page to look at him and saw four eyes haloed above his head, “I… need to go lie down. You two, I’m sure you can find something to do with yourself for the night.”
You looked at Nanami, curious of his reaction to Gojo’s words and when you looked back he was gone.
“There is an old bedroom up in the attic. I won’t make you traverse the underground right now.”
“Nanami, we need to talk about this. I don’t understand you anymore. I’m not useful to you. I’m a liability, an unnecessary risk.”
“I believe that is up to my judgment.”
“What do you want from me? This doesn’t worry you?!”
“You heard them down there before we stepped in. You were likely made with the vampire culling in mind. I doubt you’re anything more than a new type of vampire, one that can feed on other vampires. That woman said that if we figured out how to really feed you it would be bad for them. Obviously, you really feed on vampires. It’s that simple.”
“It’s not! They should be trying to kill me, not kidnap me if that’s the case! None of this makes even a lick of sense. I don’t understand what you’re thinking. Or what you’re doing. Why are you protecting me? I’m going to die at the end of this. You get that right? Do you get that because I’m starting to think you don’t.”
“Stop it.”
“No! At the end of this I die! We can’t keep kissing and you can’t keep protecting me. You’re holding on to a dead woman. I’m a walking corpse!”
“That is not what you are-”
“I AM! I’m already dead. I’ve been dead since the moment you met me.”
He grabbed you by the shoulders and shook you, “You’re not dying!” he yelled at you, “You don’t have to. We could continue living together as we have been-”
“Nanami,” you said mournfully, “You are telling me what you want from me, what I should want for myself. Your word isn’t final. God, are all men selfish, then?” there was a hint of humor in your tone, but there was nothing funny about this impasse you were at with him.
“I’m allowed my vices aren’t I? I spent a decade alone before you came along. I’d forgotten what it was like to have a companion, for there to be another soul at my side on this damned road to nowhere.”
“I wasn’t under the impression that I had a soul.” You continued your humorless laughter because if you didn’t laugh you might do something stupid like cry.
“Soulless creatures burn up in the sun and on hallowed ground, they take from the innocent, and kill without remorse. You aren’t like that.”
“I could be.”
“But you choose not to be. Don’t you get that there has never been a vampire with a greater right to eternity than you. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve more than a violent death.”
“Nanami, don’t get attached to me.”
“It’s too late for that, you temptress. It is far too late for that. You spend three years straight, flirting with me and now you have the audacity to be appalled when I feel something for you,” He said, squeezing the tops of your arms as he shook you a little.
“I’m a lecherous leech, remember. A debaucherous demon. A baseless bimbo. You’ve had so many alliterations for me over the years. I know you can’t be getting choked up over me now.”
“Things are different now. We’re different now.”
“I’m not different. When all is said and done, if you won’t put a stake through my heart, I know someone who will. You gave me your word, but if-”
“That was before you made me care about you, you damn succubus,” he said harshly.
“There’s the good father I know and love.” You looked up at him mournfully and he returned your gaze with an incensed one of his own, and then he was kissing you. It happened so quickly you didn’t really even know how to react at first. This kiss was nothing like the other two, it was rough and angry, you could feel the sharp edge of his fangs threatening to cut your lip and tongue. He grasped the tops of your arms tightly as he pulled you in close. Just when you were settling into the kiss he pulled away from you.
“Do I really mean nothing to you?” he asked, resting his forehead against yours, “the years haven’t softened you to me at all?”
“What does it matter?” you complained.
“It matters to me,” he said.
He would know if you lied and yet you couldn’t tell him the truth. It would only make him hold on to you tighter. This was all bad. You had no idea how to handle someone who wasn’t prepared to kill you at a moment’s notice. You’d never encountered any man who wasn’t prepared to cut you loose at the earliest convenience. Nothing good could come out of this for Nanami, and he didn’t seem to care.
“You’re nothing to me,” you said, “You’re just the next man who thinks he can own me with pretty words and promises-.”
“Stop lying,” he growled at you, shaking you firmly.
“You’re nothing to me,” you shook your head, “I’m just another hedonistic vampire, I’m hoping you’ll fuck me on the altar and keep fighting for me until you have nothing left and then I’ll leave and I’ll never look back like vampires do.”
“I know you’re lying… well partially lying. You really do want me to fuck you on the altar don’t you?”
“No,” that was a bold faced lie. The firm hold he had you had your heart racing.
“Tell me the truth.”
“Nanami, none of this means anything, because at the end I die.”
“Fine. I’ll look you in the eye and shove a stake through your heart. Is that what you want to hear from me? Violence?”
“Nanami-”
“Shut up,” he growled at you, “I’ll make you honest one way or another. You’re just a hedonistic vampire, huh? You’re using me?” he asked and suddenly he was dragging you towards the altar where the candles from the ritual were still lit “Fine. Use me. You wanted it on the altar right?”
He kissed you again with another hard bruising kiss. His arms wrapped around your body and you weren’t strong enough to pull away from him. Instead you pulled him in close, grabbing fistfuls of his robes to keep yourself plastered against him. Maybe you weren’t as big of a liar as you thought because you were melting in his embrace, knees going weak as his tongue moved against yours. You wouldn’t even let him away for a breath, leaving him to gasp and breathe into your mouth. He had to pry you away with a hand on your throat. Your eyes fluttered open, bewildered by his sudden choice to pull away from you. For a split second, you worried that you’d done something wrong. However, even though you couldn’t fully understand the expression on his face you knew it wasn’t one of reproach. It was dark, full of desire, and it stirred something in the pit of your stomach. He crowded up against you, making you fall on your butt on top of the altar table. You tilted your head all the way back to keep looking at him while he stood over you. He tugged his clerical collar off and tossed it away from him. Next opening the long black cassock to reveal his normal all black attire under it. He never took his gaze from you.
He kept his eyes on you while he took off his extra clothing, “Tell me to stop and I will, but if you don’t…. If you don’t you’ll have to forgive me for the man I become once I get a taste of you.”
You were not interested in stopping him. You should have been, if you were a better person you would have pushed him away. But you’re not, and you never were. It would be convenient to blame it on the fact that you were a greedy vampire. Maybe that was the root of your evil, who knows. Either way, you liked the sight of him rolling up his sleeves with practiced efficiency, giving you all the time in the world to think things over and back out. You liked watching him gett on his knees before you. You used to dream of having him like this but the roles were reversed. You’d dream of being on your knees, begging for salvation from your sins and taking full advantage of the fact that vampires don’t have an easy gag reflex. You never expected Nanami to be gently closing a hand around your ankle and lifting it. His eyes were heavy on yours, waiting for you to do anything to stop him. You swallowed loudly, as the skirt of your habit slid up and over your knee bunching up in your lap. The angle of your ankle on his shoulder made you lean back, knocking over candles only for them to sputter and go out on the cool stone floor. He kissed your ankle, then his lips trailed up your calf, all the way up to your thigh. He bit the soft supple flesh of your thigh.
“Oh god,” You gasped.
“Is this all it took to get you to praise God? Maybe you are just another dirty vampire.” he went higher, kissing right at the junction of your thigh to your pelvis, “Push me away now, this is your last chance.”
You squeezed your eyes shut and made no move to stop him. You didn’t want to. Then he was snatching down your underwear. He didn’t tease, which is what you expected from him. You expected to have to beg him but as always he gave to you willingly, a fact that would eat you alive later and you knew it. He pressed his mouth against your sex immediately and you cursed. His tongue was hot and wet, nudging against your clit in a set rhythm, before he started lightly sucking. He started sucking in earnest, mouth moving against your sex in lewd wet sounds. Your eyes popped open in surprised when he slipped a finger inside of you, and you were staring at the face of the virgin Mary in one of the stained glass windows.
“Nanami, ah! Nana-”
He pulled away with a sharp smack to say, “You’ll call me Kento.” He went right back at the task of making you lose your mind. His mouth never lost contact with you, moving as you squirmed to keep worrying your clit. He added a second finger, curling both of them against the sensitive spot inside your pussy. He wished he had the composure to make you beg for him, to reduce you to a shaking whimpering mess, but he was far gone, in his own frenzy that he didn’t have a prayer of breaking out so easily.
You were so warm and wet against his mouth, like a well that never ran dry, he drank from you as if he’d never known water, feeling your essence dribble down his chin. He could tease you because it meant depriving himself of the sweet frantic sounds of your pleasure. The closest he could get to teasing was sliding his lips from your clit down towards your entrance. He pressed his tongue into you as far as it would go, until his nose nudged your clit.
“Ken- Ah, Oh god, oh god, oh-” you let out a high pitched little squeak as he shook his head, making his nose nudge your clit even more as he enjoyed the taste of your arousal right from the source. When at last he felt like he might burst if he didn’t get a full breath, he slid his mouth back up to your clit, breathing sharply through his nose.
His relentless ministrations made you cum much faster than you could have foreseen. It was far better than your own touch had ever been and he didn’t stop immediately, grasping your hips in his strong hands to keep his mouth on you. His moans vibrated lightly against yours, mingling with your own.
Your sex was pulsing against his mouth, greedily trying to draw him in. He could spend an eternity with his mouth pressed against your cunt, letting his lips slide against your soaking petals without a modicum of unpleasant friction. But alas, there were other pleasures on his mind, and the way you were jerking in his grasp told him he was pushing you a bit too far. He withdrew from under your skirt with the sole mission to take it off. Your veil was a bit askew on your head as you lifted your head to look at him. He’d never understood Adam’s decision to be damned with his foolish lover more than he did at this moment. He would turn his back on paradise to run towards hell if you resided there.
“I am a pious man,” he said on a heavy sigh as he stood in front of you, “but even I have my limits.” As he spoke he unbuttoned his shirt revealing his body to you, watching the way your wide open eyes drank him in. The genuine wonder in your gaze made him feel like a thing to be revered and scorned in equal amounts. If he were smart he’d have listened to you before. He would do as you asked… and yet being unwise won him the beauty of your legs open for him, sex glistening with your own arousal, and his saliva. It earned him the adoration in your gaze, and the beauty of your form. Knowledge of nakedness was a blessing. This was for his eyes only, a gift Adam never would have known if he hadn’t partaken of the fruit.
“I want to fucking tear you apart.” he grumbled as he abandoned undressing to bite the softness of your breasts hard enough to make you gasp. His fingers entered you again, scissoring and pressing down firmly to get you accustomed to the stretch.
“Kento!” you whined. “That’s it, call out my name, maybe that will save you,” he mocked. His shirt was open wide, cross resting against his skin. He leaned in closer, kissing up to your throat and pressing his teeth against the steady beat of your pulse with no intention to break the skin.
“You’ll have to forgive my selfishness on all fronts. I need to be inside of you,” he said against your fevered skin. He couldn’t even be bothered to fully undress. It was a real injustice to you, but he would work hard to make sure you couldn’t think of the inequality of your nakedness.
“Ngh, Kento I- Ah,” You looked at him as he took his fingers out of you to hastily tug at his belt. The orange glow of the remaining candles flickered against his body. He was beautiful, always had been, and he’d taken care of you all of this time. How could you begin to be strong enough not to give into desire, to abstain from the temptation he wrought. Your eyes wandered down to the sharp “V” that spilled into his pants, slowly being revealed to you. When at last shoved his pants down enough to be out of the way you got a good look at his cock to see he was already hard. “Jesus, Joseph, and Mary.”
He gave you a small reproachful look for using such names in vain, but it did not stop him from hitting your clit with the head of his cock, and then rocking his hips forward a bit to rub against it before he pressed down, collecting your wetness. He did this pattern a few time, easing himself into the pleasures of your body, preparing himself for the feast of your lust. When he finally allowed himself to be engulfed in you he did so slowly, dragging the head of his cock through your folds, down to your entrance, and rocking slowly into you, giving you inch after tantalizing inch gradually. With a syrupy sweet roll of his hips, languid like water but without rush, more like honey dripping from a dipper.
He still wasn’t teasing you. His body was overheated, like the flames of hell themselves had come up to greet him. You were so wet, wrapped snug around him. Your sex yielded to him so beautifully, molding deliciously to his length like you were made to take him. If he went all in he might lose his mind completely and despite his warning he had no intentions of scaring you off by hurting you. This was about pleasure, something simple, something honest since you couldn’t stop lying to him. You were not a proper hedonist, you were too easily martyred, too satisfied with the prospect of your own suffering. You weren’t a hedonist, but he could make you wone.
“Kento, please. Please, more,” you babbled at him, sitting up to grab his hips and pull him towards. It’s not that he disliked the sound of your begging, he disliked that you were searching for suffering. As wet as you were he could still hurt you by slamming into you, he could still lose it and tear you apart, without even knowing it you were tempting him towards such violence that he usually kept under tight bounds. You had an inane drive towards misery that he hoped to get rid of for you. He wanted you to beg him for pleasure, nothing more. He glared down his nose at you before he pressed his palm against your chest to push you back against the altar firmly. You hit the table hard sending a few more candles off the edge, tiny tea lights, and candle sticks that broke on impact and flickered before going out.
“Impatient thing. You really think you’re in a position to ask anything more of me,” he said, but in spite of his words he snapped his hips forward, shoving in until his hips clapped against the backs of your thighs. You yelped, and he grabbed your throat in a firm grip.
“Constantly asking for things without any real idea what you’ve requested. If you’re going to throw out your life anyway, why not give it to me? Why not be mine forever?”
He loomed over you know, firelight dancing across his face while his rosary dangled right in your face.
“Kento-” you cut off with another loud yelp as he started fucking you hard enough that you were worried the altar table would break. The only thing that kept you from sliding up the surface. You felt your coif and veil begin to slide up because you were partially laying on it, which was an uncomfortable sensation. You tugged at it futilely only for Nanami to snatch it off as he lifted you by the throat to kiss him. Each thrust felt like it was rattling every bone in your body, sparking pleasure like flint striking, one spark after another, chasing that roaring flame. You wrapped your arms around him pulling him in close. His breath was heavy, panting when your mouths separated long enough for him to catch a breath.
“So wet,” he murmured, “Used to- ah- used to think about showing you exactly what you had to look forward to when you’d confess those dirty things to me. Is it what you hoped, do you still think you can handle my vices?” He thought of all the lecherous thoughts you’d inflicted upon him over the years, and you had the nerve to be surprised that he was reluctant to let you go. What could have been the purpose behind flirting with him for years? Were you simply that cruel? You meant to rile him up and then demand he kill you with his own hand. You had no idea what you asked for and yet you were constantly making demands.
You moaned wordlessly holding on to his wrist to ground you. You felt the hot flash pleasure catch and become a steadily growing fire as his pelvis ground against your clit from the way his body was pressed against yours. One of your hands gripped his lower back, coaxing him in deeper, trying to pull him closer like that was even a possibility.
He really did feel like he was going to tear you apart if he couldn’t keep himself in check.
“Bite me!” you squeaked out. He let go of your throat baring his teeth at you as your sex clenched down on him. You always did know how to shake his self-control. He hissed softly as his fangs were bared to you. You moaned looking at the spit slicked canines in his mouth, imagining what they would feel like biting into you. Now there was a request for pleasure.
“Say it again,” he demanded.
“Bite me!” you whined, voice jumping with the force of his thrusts as he hit the end of you every time.
“Beg me for it. Beg me for my bite,” he demanded, growling at you as he grasped your hips with both hands driving into you fast and hard.
“Please, please, Kento. Please, I need it. I need you to bite me. I can’t…. I can’t trust myself to do it to you. Just fuck, I need it. I need it so bad,” you babbled at him a mile a minute, looking up at him as he was bathed in orange light. He let his head fall back as he groaned towards the heavens. His jaw went slack and he rolled his neck before sitting his dark gaze on you again.
“Kentooo!” you called out and he bent down, kissing your neck and grazing his teeth against your throat, before he grabbed a handful of your hair and tugged it hard. Your neck was bared to him and he bit you. You cried out as pleasure flared up like an unchecked wildfire throughout your body. Nanami shuddered against you, going harder than before making the table beneath creak and crack until it finally gave out, sending you both to the floor and yet it did nothing to break the spell of desire and lust between you. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pushing him against your neck. Your other hand clawed at his back, grounding you so that you could lift your hips to meet his frenzied thrusts. He pulled out of you suddenly, spilling his load all over your stomach and chest, but he stayed pressed against you so as his hips jerked his cock rubbed between your bodies, slicked by his cum and both of your perspiration.
“Kento,” you whined as the pleasure from his bite put you on cloud nine. You were limp and pliant in his arms, utterly euphoric in your bliss. Every touch from him, felt orgasmic, and you find yourself whining and whimpering like he was still fucking you senseless. A bite had never felt like this before, and you didn’t have the mental capacity to wonder why.
When he finally pulled away, your eyelids were heavy, but you managed to watch him collect your blood from his lips with his tongue before bending down to kiss you.
“You will have to lend me your mercy. Even at my best I am selfish. And I cannot bear to be without you now,” he murmured it so low you could have deluded yourself into believing that you’d imagined his words. Maybe you had. It was better if you did.
You carried the tray of tea snacks into Nanami’s office. The moment you were out of the abbess’ view you grabbed a pastry from the arrangement and shoved it in your mouth. You bumped the door closed with your hip. Nanami had a pair of glasses with a red tint perched on his thin straight nose. The old book in front of him was utterly incomprehensible to you as you came closer to the desk, sitting the tray down.
“Special delivery from Sister Hannah, she sends her regards,” you turned the tray so that he could see the glazed hearts on a couple of the danishes.
“Who?” he asked without looking up.
“Damn,” you snorted, sitting down heavily in one of the chairs across from his desk.
“What?” he asked, looking up at you in time to watch you take off the coif and veil of your uniform.
“Poor girl, she already has a hopeless crush, and you don’t even know who she is.”
“I don’t work with the sisters often.”
“You’d think you did from the way they talk about you. Father Nanami, you are the object of many fantasies in the convent. You could have any number of the sisters on their knees… for repentance.”
Nanami hummed, “Any amount?” he mused uninterestedly.
“Well, not me.” You grinned, pouring yourself a cup of tea. He looked up at you again, brown eyes searching your face with a question he was never going to ask aloud. You noticed his gaze on you and your smile turned coy.
“I’m not repentant,” you said, sitting the teapot down.
He chuckled softly, “Of course.”
You bit your lip, “Think you can make me repent, Father?”
“No,” he shook his head, “You are beyond help.”
“Right, I’m damned either way, I might as well do it thoroughly.”
He hummed in response, “There are some intricate rituals detailed in this book. Though they are hidden in plain sight with different colored inks.”
“Oh so you didn’t decide to add a little spice to your outfit,” you said.
“No, sorry to disappoint,” he answered, “But they seem to be rooted in alchemical law, something that everyone but old vampires have completely abandoned. Modern science requires knowledge not skill, but alchemy was the practice of both.”
“Gonna make a lot of scientists mad talking like this.”
He ignored you, “There is a ritual of purification that involves crucifying a young woman, virginal of course, and bleeding her body for three days straight, and then transfusing vampire blood through her. I can’t imagine many people surviving, but they thought it might keep a woman viable as a vampire.”
“For what?” you frowned. You leaned forward to look at the drawing in the book. The illustrations made your stomach turn. Staring at the woman, depicted as crying red tears, you remembered your three days. You were suspended on a crucifix but you weren’t bled. You were instead fed a strange mixture of blood and other powders left to writhe in agony as the very molecular make up of your body changed.
“Well, to breed natural born vampires.”
“Does it say it works?”
“No, but someone is trying it out and my bet is on the Viscount.”
You studied Nanami for a moment, wondering if you should tell him about your transformation. It wouldn’t help him find Alexi Cordelius but it was pertinent to his research. Though you worried if it might work against you. He had some kind of reluctance behind letting you die, maybe he was just serious about needing your help with the Viscount. But still, you didn’t want him to have a reason to renegotiate your deal.
“Have you seen anything like this?” Nanami asked.
“Once,” you answered, because there was no point in lying to Nanami, he would know immediately, “he didn’t bleed her though, and there was no transfusion, just the crucifix is familiar.”
He hummed, “It seems like proof enough that he’s trying it. Natural born vampires are rare. Currently, there are five still alive in the whole world.”
“And so if Cordelius was successful?”
“He could start breeding a very powerful type of vampire, one that is much harder to kill.”
“Fun,” you sighed.
Nanami studied you for a moment, then closed the book and took off the glasses he’d needed to read it. He made his own cup of tea and you picked up another book. Before long the phone on his desk rang. He answered it promptly. You were busy thumbing through pictures of werewolves changing under the moon. The sketches inside the book were amazing, nearly grotesque in their details.
“What do you mean?” Nanami asked, his voice sounded alarmed, which made you look at his face. He looked worried, brows crowded in on one another as he listened to the words said to him over the phone, “Are you sure?… Yes, yes, we’re coming… I understand.” He paused again to listen and he let out a weary sigh, “I will see you then, bye.” The moment he hung up he was moving.
“You need to collect your things from the convent. Do not let anyone know what you are doing. You have 20 minutes to get everything you need and meet me at the gate. Do you understand?”
You hopped up, alarmed by his sudden change in demeanor, “What’s going on?”
“I don’t have the time to explain. We are leaving and we won’t be back, so do as I said.”
You hurried to put back on the coif and veil as you left Nanami’s office. You didn’t have very many personal affects so you took the essentials, stuffing your clothes, toiletries, and things like that into a duffle bag. The sisters were together for prayer so your tasks went unnoticed. You put on regular clothes, leaving your uniform on the bed.
You met up with Nanami and he took your bags, tossing them in the car while you got in. He didn’t start explaining until the two of you were on the road.
“Gojo, called, he thinks that the church has been compromised.”
“What?”
“He found evidence of correspondence between the head of the church and Cordelius.”
“If that’s the case, then he’s had access to me this whole time,” you said.
“It’s possible.”
“How did he even come to that conclusion?!” You asked, horrified by the concept that there had never been anything coming in between you and Cordelius. If he wanted you he could have had you at any time. If he and the church were in correspondence then they could have served you right up to him. Why hadn’t they?
“I don’t know. We will ask when we get to a safe house.”
“Safe house? What are we in witness protection now?!” “Cordelius is after you, that much we know. For that reason alone, he can’t get you.”
“Then I’m the one who has to leave?”
“Do you think I’m going to stand idly by while one of the last beacons of hope for humanity is slowly corrupted?”
“No.” You answered, there was no way Nanami would linger in the church after learning it was compromised. It just wasn’t like him.
“Precisely. We will get more information later, until then, put your seatbelt on.”
You did as he said, and tried not to dwell on your fears, but you couldn’t help it. Obviously you weren’t a normal vampire. You could be out in the sun and holy items didn’t bother you. You thought you’d know if you could get pregnant. You’d have a period, but you hadn’t had one of those since your change and they were infrequent before then. You figured you were barren like every other vampire woman. The new level of horror that came with a fate of birthing natural born vampires for all eternity shook you to your core. Had that been his plan? Truly it was a fate worse than death. You found yourself picking at your nails as the miles of highway stretched out before you.
“…. Would you kill me if it seemed like the Viscount might win?” you asked suddenly.
Nanami glanced at your haunted, thousand mile stare, “What do you mean?”
“If we go head to head with the Viscount, you’ll be sure I’m dead before he takes me.”
“He will never get his hands on you. I will see to it,” he said fiercely.
“… Promise you’ll kill me first.”
“Why do you always make me promise you death?” he asked with a heavy sigh.
You snorted, “Because I don’t think you’d promise me a night to remember.”
He hummed, “Fair.”
“You really know how to break a girl’s heart.”
“The last time I gave you something to remember you ran from me.”
“Blood! Nanami, is that all you know about pleasure! It wasn’t even sexy. I was dying. It’s not what I dreamt of in the lonely chambers of the convent,” you said dramatically. He raised an eyebrow at you. You turned your body as much as you could to face him.
“You know I used to think of human things, you know? I thought you might caress my face, kiss my cheek, then my lips, or at least in a fit of passion tell me your feelings before you were behind the kind of euphoria blood brings. You’re always straight to the point though aren’t you.”
You watched his grip on the steering wheel tighten as he stared ahead, so you continued,“I thought you would take your time, get to know how I like to be touched first, maybe wait for me to be on my knees and begging you for an ounce of pleasure… but I guess I was going off of the assumption that you were a virtuous man. And you told me that you were not. Just pious.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” he murmured.
“I’m accustomed to disappointment,” you said on a breathy sigh, really just teasing him, but you wondered then, “Was it good for you?”
“Excuse me?”
“When I sucked your blood?”
“You didn’t have to phrase it that way.”
“There are worse ways I could phrase it.”
“It was good… you were dying so it wasn’t without its fault.”
“… Would you like me to do it again?”
Nanami swallowed loudly. He’d be lying if he said he never thought about it, but he never thought about it of his own volition. The thoughts came when he looked at your lips for too long, or worse when he closed his eyes just before sleeping. He remembered that oneness, how everything felt like it was drawn to one fine point of utter bliss. There had been nothing else, and the memory of it was a poor replacement.
“Do you?”
“I asked first.”
“Yes, but your desire is of more consequence.”
“Is it? Because I don’t remember biting you. I remember you bleeding in my mouth first.”
“But a desire from you means taking something from me.”
“There are things belonging to you that I’d like to suck, your blood is not one of them.”
He whipped his head over to stare at you, obviously scandalized. You bit your lip, trying to keep yourself from laughing.
“Your mints, of course. I can hear them rattling in your pocket.”
He rolled his eyes in a big exaggerated motion. You lost your battle against laughing then. He looked so put out with you, you could hardly stand it.
“You’re beyond salvation,” he griped.
“Maybe you should keep your mind out of the gutter, Mr. Pious,” you continued giggling. He wanted to resist looking at you, but ultimately failed, catching a quick glimpse of the way your nose wrinkled as you laughed, and how relaxed you looked.
“You are the worst.”
“Ain’t I a stinker?”
“You should be careful speaking to me that way.”
“Or what? You’ll blush up to your ears?” you taunted. The tips of ears were bright red, flushed with embarrassment. He wrinkled his nose, pulling his mouth into a little snarl of annoyance, showing you his fangs.
“What do I have to do to get you to shut up?”
“If you want my silence you’ll have to kill me for it.”
He just sighed. You could be so morbid. He didn’t like to think about killing you. When he made the decision to postpone your execution all those years ago, he expected you to disappoint him in some way that would justify your execution. If his sense of humor was a bit darker he’d laugh at his luck. You’d only become harder to kill, he couldn’t even allow you to die. He loathed to think of what Gojo’s reaction would be if he knew that Nanami had saved your life by giving you his blood. In truth you were an innocent, someone forced into this long life, with the heavy burden of a curse.
The safe house was hours away, and so before long, lighter topics of discussions were exhausted, and the radio stopped playing anything good. You stared out of the window at the wide open fields on either side of the highway, and then the other cars on the road with you. The people in those cars did not know the things you did. The general public wasn’t aware of vampires or ghouls, or any of the other things you’d known about since you were young. They lived blissfully unaware of the dangers of the night. You’d known about vampires since you were 13 and found yourself being sold to one. Your life before that point was lost on you. There were small flashes of memories. You remembered your mother, and you remembered losing her and without having anywhere to go you became a ward of the state. The state “lost” children all the time. “Losing” you meant being sold into the life of a feeder where you learned, intimately, that vampires were very real. You supposed Nanami never got a moment of ignorance. He was aware of his nature, and the nature of the world from the beginning. Maybe that was better. He was never under the false assumption that the world was safe.
“Did you know your father?” you asked suddenly.
Nanami pulled in a slow breath, obviously deliberating on whether or not he was going to answer your question, “Yes.”
“Really?”
“Yes, he was a natural born vampire, and respected among other vampires for it. His relationship with the church was unique in that he was aligned in its favor.”
Your eyebrows shot up, “How did that work?”
“He found out that vampires didn’t need to drink human blood and so he worked to convince others to do as he had and live only on the blood of animals.”
“… What happened to him?”
“He was assassinated by his friend the Viscount Alexi Cordelius. He killed my mother that night as well, but you can’t technically call her death an assassination, I assume she was just a casualty.”
“Oh,” you breathed, and so that was his motive for wanting the Viscount dead. You supposed it was as good a motive as any, “So his current goal, to birth more vampires, just throws salt in the wound huh?”
“You have no idea,” he chuckled darkly.
“‘M sorry for your loss,” you murmured.
“Thank you.”
You decided all at once that you couldn’t keep quiet any longer, “The ritual… the ritual I saw the viscount do with the crucifix… it was me.”
“I know.”
“You did?!”
“Of course I knew, you told me when we first met that you were crucified, remember? Besides, if you weren’t more than a very fragrant vampire, the Viscount wouldn’t be looking to get you back. Do you think that you’re… fertile?”
“I don’t see how I could be,” you grumbled, “Maybe he failed because he didn’t do all the steps correctly.”
“Perhaps,” he responded lightly.
“You don’t think so.”
“I think whatever his purpose was with your creation, you met it. If he meant to make you the Eve of vampires, then you are, but if you’re meant to be something else, you are that.”
“So… whatever I am, it would be better that I’m long gone before Cordelius gets his hands on me.”
“Whatever you are, Cordelius will not get his hands on you,” Nanami amended, “I expect Gojo will have more answers for us.”
You didn’t miss that he did not agree that you needed to be long gone. It didn’t matter though. You suspected that if you wanted to meet your end and Nanami was not willing, Gojo would be. Whatever Nanami’s motives, the end for you would be the same, it had to be. You couldn’t be expected to spend eternity as the very thing you hated most.
“Nanami, I have been at the mercy of vampires for a very long time. First with Lord Drakon, who bled me within an inch of my life monthly, and spent the rest of month fawning over me to make me as dependent as the rest of his feeders. When the Viscount came, he took a liking to me. I was only 18 then, and he was like some dark vampire prince, seemingly coming to whisk me away from my life in Drakon’s manor. He had stories of far away lands, and promises of the things he would let me see once he took me from that manor. I didn’t believe him at first, but then he did take me. And we did travel for a full year. And that whole year he never fed from me. He even ‘tainted’ my blood with my permission. Virgin’s blood is a big deal, you know, to vampires. But when he did feed from me you know what he said?” you glanced away from the road ahead of you to look at Nanami. He glanced over curiously. His eyes looked heavy with the echo of your grief.
You continued, “He said I tasted just the same, like I was still a virgin. And he realized that virginity never mattered. It was smoke and mirrors, something no one ever bothered to check, and he told his friends so, and my choice was responsible for… god knows how many other feeders to get a new layer of torture added to their already tortorous lives. It was my only solace with Drakon, that he didn’t want to ruin my blood… It’s all blood with vampires. I forgot for a moment, a split second, and so many people paid for it. The Viscount never cared about me, he cared about my blood, and he was trying to create a bond with me through it just like Lord Drakon but he thought I just needed some romancing first.
“I say all of that to say this, Nanami. When I fed from you I finally understood what Drakon and Cordelius were looking for from me, it’s a sense of oneness, pleasure so fine tuned it feels like it’s balanced on the tip of a needle. And I hate that I got that from you. So the next time it looks like I’m going to die, let me.”
Nanami was silent for a long time and you didn’t do anything to break the silence. The weight of his guilt was even heavier in his chest.
“It is still common knowledge among vampires that virgin’s blood is preferred. If it’s any solace to you,” Nanami said softly.
“It’s not, but thanks anyway.”
The safe house was at the end of a winding road up a mountain. It was more modern than you were expecting, and far bigger. The mid century modern home nestled in the forest was a bit jarring. Nanami parked out front and the two of you grabbed your bags from the car and went inside. You could hear music playing. It was a weird tone shift from the sober mood between both you and Nanami. You heard the approaching footsteps of the nephilim and turned to see him poke his head out of the doorway.
“Welcome to your new home,” Gojo grinned, there were bandages wrapped around his eyes and you peered at him curiously.
“Um, what?”
“How much did you explain to her already?” Gojo asked Nanami.
“Precisely what you told me, which wasn’t much. You said the church was compromised and Cordelius was in correspondence with the head of the church.”
“Good, good, no secrets between the two of you, I like it. We’ll talk about the rest over dinner. Y/N, a hand in the kitchen.”
Your heart dropped a little, “Uh, I can’t cook.”
“Really?”
You shook your head. You could technically cook, if there were very clear instructions, but even then it left something to be desired. The other sisters forbid you from kitchen duty. Thinking of the sisters in the abbey you felt a little sad.
“Will the sisters be alright?” you asked, looking between Gojo and Nanami.
“Why can’t you cook?” Gojo, posed instead of answering your questions.
“I spent my formative years as a blood bag, and the rest of it in the convent,” you huffed.
“I will help you in the kitchen,” Nanami settled then turned to you, “I’m sure the sisters will be fine. We are the only ones who would have been immediately affected. As long as we do not allow the church to fall, everyone should be fine.”
You nodded, turning your gaze to Gojo again only to find him making a truly unreadable expression. You suspected the blindfold made it hard to tell what he was thinking. You could tell that his brow was furrowed but you didn’t know where he was looking… or… wait.
“Wait… why are you cooking with a blindfold on?!”
“For the challenge,” Gojo said, turning on his heel to go back the way he came.
“He can see,” Nanami assured, “he has many eyes. Not all of them are seen in this realm.”
“I only have six,” Gojo said, “Come on Nanamin! Dinner won’t cook itself.”
“Um… I could put things away…” you said looking around the wide open front. The place had a pretty open concept, lots of windows. If you were sensitive to sunlight you’d certainly be in trouble. This place received a lot of natural light. “Oh, the rooms are upstairs!” Gojo called, “There’s only one guest bedroom, you two are fine to share right?”
You felt your whole body go hot. You stood, preternaturally still as you waited to hear what Nanami would say in response. Surely he was going to protest such a close sleeping arrangement. However time passed and no one said anything else. You took that as a sign that Nanami was perfectly okay with that. Petty pride kept you from saying anything. He’d already made fun of you for how you reacted to feeding. You were not going to prove him right by being so obviously embarrassed by just sleeping in the same room with him. You climbed the stairs with your bags, and found that there was already a door open.
“Which-?!” you began but Gojo promptly cut you off.
“It’s the only open door.”
You nodded and tossed a look down the hall. There were other rooms in the spacious hallway, and then a door at the very end of the hall. You wondered what all the other rooms were, if not bedrooms. Nevertheless you chose not to pry and entered the wide open guest room. It looked like a guest room, void of personal belonging, more like a hotel than a place where someone might find daily comfort. You let your bags fall to the floor as you noticed the big bed on the far wall. There was a desk, an armchair, and a chaise lounge by way of furniture. You guessed that you could probably sleep on the lounge if it came to it. Nanami was a priest after all, there had to be rules against lying with a woman, or any gender they’re attracted to. He wouldn’t fit on the lounge for sure.
While you fretted about this upstairs, Gojo and Nanami stood beside one another. Nanami took over cooking. He wasn’t sure Gojo intended to cook at all. All of the ingredients were out but nothing was going. He washed his hands and got to work. It’s not like he trusted Gojo’s ability to cook anyway.
“You brought the pretty blood sucker,” Gojo said with a smile, leaning against the counter. Nanami froze, holding a knife to cut the vegetables set out on the counter.
“You said that the church was compromised. I couldn’t have left her behind.”
“Yes, you could have. Easily, too. You just didn’t even think to do it,” he laughed.
Nanami did not look at Gojo, instead he focused on chopping and peeling an onion. Gojo was right, of course, he hadn’t even considered leaving you behind. Why would he? You were a valuable asset to his ongoing hunt for Cordelius. To leave you behind would be a waste, and it wouldn’t have made sense. It would be irresponsible to leave a vampire in the parish.
“You could have staked her if you were worried she’d be a danger,” Gojo posed, as if reading his mind, “I told you vampires infiltrated the church, and your first idea was to bring the special one, the one who can walk on hallowed ground with you to the safe house.”
“She is a valuable asset for furthering our goals.”
“But that’s not why you brought her.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nanami said curtly, chopping swiftly to focus on his task and not his own thoughts.
Gojo hummed, “What if I told you that she was how the vampire got in?”
Nanami stiffened, “I would ask for your proof.”
“You wouldn’t take my word?”
“I would need proof of her betrayal before I acted.”
“Nanamin,” he clicked his tongue, “We’ve been friends for years. It’s my word against a leech that used to canoodle with the bigger leech who killed your parents. Hell, she might still be canoodling.”
“It’s unlikely, so I would need your proof.”
“Why? You don’t watch her every second of every day. From what I hear you allow that one quite a bit of freedom. She could be doing anything behind your back. And if I told you that she was playing you, then what?”
“Are you telling me that?”
Gojo shrugged.
“What is the point of this? It makes no sense for her to betray me. That is why I would need proof. I would have to make sense of it.”
“She’s a liability.”
“She’s innocent!” Nanami snapped slamming the knife down on the counter before turning to glare at Gojo. He stared up at the taller man, trying to make sense of the vacant smirk on his face. His posture hadn’t changed, despite the fact that Nanami’s had.
“She’s a vampire.”
“She didn’t ask for this. If this is just a little thought experiment to see how far I am willing to go for our cause, know that if she did betray me I would put a stake through her heart without hesitation. But as it stands, I know that she remains loyal to our cause.”
“I told you that the church, an institution you have been a part of since you were a kid, was compromised and you believed me without an ounce of proof. You dropped everything and drove miles to meet me here. I suggest that a vampire you met two years ago is a traitor and you shut down on me. You must really trust her.”
“I do.”
“She trusts you too. Nanami-” Gojo began but took a breath and then laughed, “at least she’s a smokin’ hot vamp and not one of those weird translucently pale ones.”
Nanami frowned at Gojo’s crude assessment, but he couldn’t help but to think that Gojo was going to say something else at first. There was no real passion behind his taunt.
“Since you two are so close, I can see why you don’t mind sharing a room.”
“You have plenty of rooms in this house.”
“But only one with a bed. I couldn’t make my dear friend, or a lovely lady sleep on the floor.”
“I will be fine with a futon in your study.”
Gojo made a sound of faux sadness, “Sorry, no futon. I redecorated. It will be just you and the lady you trust enough to question me over. Besides, if you leave her all by herself, I might decide she’s a liability to take into my own hands,” he said lightly.
Nanami didn’t believe Gojo would do that, but Gojo was always a little unpredictable. If he called his bluff, he might do it just off of the strength that Nanami tried him. Whatever his purpose behind his meddling, the end result was the same, he would be sharing a room with you. He staunchly ignored the way his skin suddenly felt overheated.
You came down after taking Nanami’s things upstairs too, not really knowing what to do with yourself otherwise. When you finally caved and went to the kitchen, Gojo was sitting at the kitchen island watching Nanami cook. He smiled at you, chin resting on the heel of his palm.
“Hello, itsy-bitsy vampire.”
“Uh… hi. This is a beautiful home you have.”
“Thanks. I’m not here nearly as often as I want to be.”
“I bet, with a place like this, I’d want to be home all the time.”
“Hm, it does get lonely. Big house, no one to share it with. I’m glad to have you. A pretty lady always livens up a home,” he said, batting his eyes at you.
You chuckled, “I don’t know if I’m the type of pretty lady who livens up anything.”
“Well, it could use a little taste of the macabre as well,” he shrugged. His lips turned upwards in an alluring smile. You hardly knew what to do with yourself. It was just that the last time you met this man, he tried to stake you, and now you were pretty sure he was flirting with you. You laughed nervously before sliding your gaze to Nanami to see what he made of the situation. He was openly glaring at Gojo. Your eyes darted to Gojo again but he didn’t seem to notice Nanami’s death glare.
“Sorry, but I’m not long for this world if you’ve got anything on Cordelius,” you said, hoping to steer this conversation into more comfortable bounds.
“Right, l guess this is as good a time as any for this discussion. Cordelius is very likely in the city, trying to find a way to get to you,” he pointed at you, “Of course he’s known where you were, but considering the church is holy ground, there wasn’t much he could do to get you, and his attempts at capture have all failed.”
“Attempts at capture?” Nanami questioned, “There haven’t been attacks on the church.”
“Yes, but you didn’t think it was weird that after two years of normal hunts, and relative silence on Cordelius that all of a sudden the two of you were escaping by the skin of your teeth?”
“What do you mean?”
“Tara Lydos, for instance, I thought it was odd that all of a sudden her coven would become a blip on the radar for the higher ups. They had always known about her, but since people went to that club of their own volition the church let it be. Now all of a sudden it was imperative for the two of you to go in and gather intel.”
“You’re saying that was a capture attempt,” Nanami questioned.
He nodded, “Yes, I believe so. It was definitely documented in Cordelius’ notes. He made sure that Tara had information, and he also made sure she had the wrong information. And for the ghoul, we haven’t seen one of those in a century. What are the chances it shows up on your hunt? If they really thought that it was a coven causing those problems, they wouldn’t have sent just the two of you. I believe that hunt in particular was supposed to kill you, Nanamin.”
You remembered just how focused the monster was on Nanami. You’d had to jump in its way to be as grievously injured as you were, “The church was trying to kill Nanami?”
“No. They were willing to sacrifice him though. I found records of correspondence about the ghoul. The church knew about it and they knew that Cordelius was behind its sudden appearance in the city, whatever the church is after they were willing to sacrifice both of your lives for it.”
“The monster was only attacking Nanami because Cordelius wants me back alive.”
“Yes,” Gojo nodded, confirming your guess, “but it should be said that ghouls come in varieties. They are… something close to cannibalistic. A ghoul that used to be a human, will hunt humans. A ghoul that used to be a vampire will hunt vampires. I believe that ghoul used to be a vampire.”
“But it wasn’t interested in me,” you protested, “I mean, Nanami is half human maybe that’s why-”
Gojo shook his head, cutting you off, “The other vampires in the den were killed by it. Nanami is half vampire. Which makes me wonder what the hell you are.”
You frowned, “I’m a vampire. I thirst for human blood just like every other vampire does.”
“Do you?”
“Yes,” you flushed, upset by this facet of yourself. Some small naive part of yourself wanted to believe that you were not a vampire. At least you could find solace in the fact that you weren’t the very creature you hated, but if you weren’t a vampire then what were you? And could you be something much worse. You thought of the being Cordelius wanted to make. That was still a vampire… wasn’t it?
“We have an idea of what Cordelius’s goals are… and I think I’ve surmised why the church would work with him.” Nanami said changing the subject.
Gojo lifted his eyebrows in interest, “Do tell.”
“A vampire culling. That might be the extent of the church’s knowledge if they’re helping, but we think he wants to purify the covens and bring back natural born vampires.”
Gojo frowned, “I was afraid you would say that. I took a few things from his castle and I was hoping there was nothing to my findings but if you’re right, then we have our work cut out for us.” Gojo stood straight and moved around the kitchen island to walk past you and out of the kitchen. He left you and Nanami alone.
Your head felt like it was spinning. You took a seat on one of the kitchen stools and just stared at your hands. If you hadn’t saved Nanami… would you be in the Viscount’s clutches now? The only thing you could think of behind his hesitation that night, if he was really around waiting to get you, was the fact that Nanami was still there. You’d never seen the Viscount fight. He often said that he was a man of the pen, not the sword. You didn’t know if that meant he couldn’t fight, or simply preferred not to. However, if the Viscount killed Nanami’s parents then he must be capable of some kind of violence.
“What does he mean I’m not a vampire?” You asked Nanami.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. The declaration astonished him as well. Up until the moment Gojo said it, Nanami was sure that the man was looking for a way to execute you early. Though now he worried if Gojo knew about the ritual, and he suspected you to be the vampire Eve. His threat to end your life earlier would hold far more weight then. He knew it would be for the greater good, a short term solution to buy the world time before a resurgence of natural born vampires. It wouldn’t stop Cordelius from making someone else like you though. It was better to stick to the original plan to keep you safe until Cordelius was taken care of.
Gojo came back with a few strange objects. One looked to be a chalice, something that looked like an urn, and a pendulum.
He lifted the urn first, “This contains the flesh of Lucifer himself.”
“Who?!” you exclaimed.
“The devil?” Gojo responded as if you really didn’t know who Lucifer was.
“That has to be as old as time then!”
Gojo shook his head, “Christianity is relatively new. It is very old, but not as old as other relics.”
“How do you even get the flesh of satan?”
“I don’t know. I fear he opened a portal to Hell, but I don’t know how he would have. I was just as confused to find it as you are to see it now. They’ve dried it and ground it down into a fine powder.”
You felt your stomach do a hard flip as you studied the urn closer. You recognized it. It was among the collection of things given to you for your transformation.
“Vampires were the children of Lillith and Lucifer. They escaped behind him into the garden and God damned them to the night,” Gojo said in a sort of off-handed manner. He continued to explain that the things in his hands were definitely for a ritual. He assumed it was to make another mother of vampires. All of the things he had were present on the night of your transformation.
You opened your mouth to say so but made eye contact with Nanami before you could speak. He shook his head, almost imperceptibly, his glare was tense. You closed your mouth, getting the hint.
“If he’s looking to make a new Lillith then, I’ve definitely put a damper on those plans,” Gojo said with a triumphant smile.
“That’s a relief,” Nanami answered, “We can focus on tracking him for now.”
“Right. Well, that’s all that I know and it’s all I care to talk about on an empty stomach. Dinner should be about ready, right Nanamin?”
You sat at the table between the two men… but you barely tasted the food. You wished that Nanami hadn’t bothered to save you. If all of this was true and you were supposed to be some monster birthing machine, you wanted nothing more than to meet your end. Gojo announced that he would handle the clean up, and so you went upstairs. Nanami discreetly allowed you to go in first, lingering downstairs.
“Nanamin,” Gojo called, “It won’t be easy for you to put a stake through her heart. But when the time comes, can I trust you to do the right thing?”
“I will do what has to be done,” he said, but his own words settled in his ear poorly. He excused himself before Gojo could question him, going upstairs to the open bedroom door. He found you sitting on the side of the bed, twirling a silver pike around your fingers. When he came in you looked at him, holding the pike in a closed fist. You held the pike out to him. He put his hand around it, confused by what you were doing. He stood right in front of you, your chin tipped back to look up at him. He expected you to let go of the pike once he had it. Instead you wrapped your cool hands around his and pressed the sharp end of the pike to the middle of your chest.
“Y/N,” he said warily, trying to pull away, but your hold on his hands stayed firm.
“Nanami,” you said with a watery voice, “You have to.”
“We don’t know anything for sure-”
“I tried to do it myself, but… I just couldn’t. Maybe it’s self-preservation, maybe I’m just a coward, but I couldn’t do it.”
“After we catch Cordelius,” he said.
You shook your head, “What if we don’t win? What if we find Cordelius and he wins?”
“He won’t.”
“You don’t know that for sure.”
He tugged away from you firmly and you let him go, “You’d ruin the bedding.” He grumbled.
You laughed, “You always have an excuse. We could do it on the floor if that’s better for you.”
“On the floor,” he mused, “You’ll do it anywhere, won’t you?” He joked dryly. You tossed him a little look to show that you understood his joke but didn’t find it amusing, not right now.
He sighed when you looked down at your lap, refusing to even look at him anymore. He tipped your chin up, “I know what you told me in the car. I understand your fears, but you must see that I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“… That’s what I’m afraid of Nanami,” You said.
He visibly deflated, “When the time comes, I’ll…” he trailed off.
“Neither of us thought I’d live this long. You were supposed to be rid of me at least a year ago.”
“I’ve gotten accustomed to you,” he agreed.
“I’ll ask Gojo to do it. I don’t think he will hesitate.”
“Don’t.”
“Why not?”
“I…l admit that I have grown accustomed to your company but I will keep my word to you.”
“That’s your hesitation. You’re just used to having me around? Nanami, you were never this hesitant to do what needed to be done before I fed from you. If this is about that bite-“
“Do not reduce this to a bite,” he snapped at you. He needed a second to think things over. Gojo had already been prodding at him, questioning his ability to do what needed to be done.
“That’s what it was. This connection? It’s just blood and I’m sorry-“
“Quiet.” His voice was low and firm, “you may reduce yourself to a bloodthirsty monster if you like but I am not your sycophant. I am not in a spell of blood and lust. This conversation is over.”
“Fine.” you whispered.
He grabbed his bag from the floor beside the bed and started towards the en suite but paused before fully entering.
“I’m counting on your help. I need you here to end this.”
You didn’t respond and he closed the door.
Nanami stood there for a moment leaning against the door trying to make sense of the warring emotions in his chest. Gojo was right. He hadn’t hesitated to abandon the church, and he hadn’t considered leaving you behind. There was a time in his life where he would have. It made more sense to. If the church was compromised by vampires why the hell would he bring a vampire with him. But this was you. You’d nearly died for him already. You had been watching his back for two years now, when nothing was in it for you but a quick death at the end of everything. Before he knew you he would have taken Gojo’s word at face value, agreed that you were a traitor at worst, or a liability and deadweight at best. What the hell happened? He didn’t know, all he did know was that it happened before the bite.
He got in the shower, still thinking about it. He knew it wasn’t feeding that changed things, because the choice to feed you was so unlike himself that it had to be yet another symptom of this change and not the cause. If he was honest with himself, he knew that he hadn’t considered your usefulness until after you were already saved. At the time, all he could think was not you, not yet, and not like this. He didn’t want you to die for his sake.
When he left the ensuite he found that you were on the bed any more, instead you were lying on top of the chaise lounge, probably in some bid to be out of his way. He was already irritated with the vexing unnameable emotion that today’s discussions had agitated.
“Get in bed,” he ordered firmly.
“I’m fine here,” You said softly.
“I’m not going to tell you again.”
You turned to look over your shoulder at him. He was pinching the bridge of his nose. He wore a sleeveless black top. It showed off the entirety of his arms naturally. His arms flexed in their position just a bit, but otherwise looked big and kinda soft. You were sure if he turned to the side you might see a bit of his chest.
“Father Nanami-”
“Don’t make me repeat myself. I am not going to make you sleep on the lounge without a blanket.”
“… Then where will you sleep?”
“On the other side of the bed. It’s large enough that there’s no reason for us to touch. It will be fine.”
“…Really, I’m fine-”
“Y/N.”
You sighed, yielding to him. You didn’t actually want to sleep on the chaise lounge. It was cold in this house and you felt like you might freeze overnight if you tried. You hurried past Nanami, trying to nonchalantly put your hands over your butt a little. Your sleep shorts were a bit short. Nanami did not turn to look at you as you passed him, he continued to the other side of the bed to settle down for the night as well. He didn’t look your way until he was ready to turn off the lamp on the night table. He glanced over his shoulder at you, to see you laying on your side with your back to him. He looked forward and sighed, turning off the light instead of saying anything else.
You stared into the darkness, and your eyes quickly adjusted, shifting the world into a kind of gray-scale but still having perfect vision. You stared at the details of the room, listened to Nanami breathing, and the slightly elevated rate of his pulse. You forced yourself to be still though you had the urge to toss and turn.
All your life, no one had ever given you the impression that they would hesitate to kill you. Certainly not Lord Drakon, the first vampire you ever encountered. He had so many feeders at his disposal that he killed one once a month without fail. You thought for sure you would be one of them when he couldn’t make a bond with you. You even expected that the Viscount would kill you. Even while he was trying to butter you up, you never thought that his affection for you would get in the way of him ending your life if that’s what it came to. Now here you were counting on Nanami to be the same… and you weren’t so sure. He often called you innocent. You’d never taken a human life. Maybe that was his hesitation. Unlike Drakon or Cordelius, Nanami was a good man. You didn’t know how long you spent thinking like this, considering your future, and whether or not you could trust Nanami to keep his word, but eventually it became too much for you. You rolled onto your back, staring up at the ceiling.
“Nanami, are you awake?” You said soft enough that if he was asleep it would not disturb him. However if he was already awake, he would hear.
“No,” he grumbled.
“Lying is a sin, isn’t it?” you joked weakly.
“It is.”
“I’m going to hell aren’t I?”
“You are a damned being.”
“And there’s no way to undo this, even though I didn’t ask for it?”
“Not that anyone knows of.”
“What kind of God could do this to its children?” you whispered so your voice would not betray the tears that welled up in your eyes as you asked your question.
“It’s as you said before. He is either not benevolent, or not all powerful.”
“I thought you believed in a great balance.”
“I don’t know anymore.” He answered solemnly.
You blinked and tears escaped your eyes. You fought the urge to sniff because that would give you away, but you couldn’t help how uneven your breath had become as you held it to suppress sobs. You just wished so fervently that none of this had ever happened to you. Silence stretched until you gave a soft sniff.
“Are you crying?” he asked, his voice was softer than it had been, more tentative.
“No,” you grumbled, rubbing your face with the heel of your palm.
“Lying is a sin, you know?”
“Well I’m already damned, so.” You felt the bed shift as Nanami moved and you glanced in his direction to see what he was doing. He was turning on his side to face you. His face was in perfect detail in your vision. After all, you were a creature of the night. His dark eyes appeared abysmal in the darkness, like the kind of cave that would echo back.
“May I kiss you?” He asked.
You balked, “What?” You hissed. He must be out of his mind completely. Where did that come from?
“If we’re damned either way, we might as well do it thoroughly.”
“You’re not damned. You couldn’t possibly be damned, you’re too good. You look like a literal sunbeam when you’re not frowning.”
“I’m always frowning,” he droned.
“No you’re not. You crack a few smiles here and there, and they remind me of the sun. Kinda hard to look at but beautiful and warm.”
“Is this supposed to make me not want to kiss you?”
“You are a priest.”
“I might be.”
“You can’t break your vows over me. I’m not worth all of that-”
“I did not ask you for an appraisal of your worth. If you do not want to kiss me that is fine. But I won’t listen to you tell me what I think of your worth, because you don’t know.”
“I don’t understand where this is coming from.”
“I told you, I am pious but not virtuous, I have my vices. Indulge me?”
You turned on your side to look at him. This might be the only chance you got to kiss someone that you truly admired, who was a good person, “…Okay.”
You watched as he got up to hover over you a bit. He was slow in his descent obviously giving you time to back out, but as he drew closer you simply closed your eyes and waited for his mouth to touch yours. Nanami’s lips were much warmer than yours. You felt the heat of them echoed throughout your whole body, and a ghost of that same pleasure you felt from his blood made your heart pick up its pace. You could hear Nanami’s heart even louder, pounding like a drum in his chest as he deepened the kiss. His mouth moved with your insistently. Despite how roughly he kissed you, there was a hand on your cheek, and his thumb was stroking your cheekbone so gently it brought tears to your eyes. Your fingers slipped into his hair, pulling him close to you. It felt… better than feeding, because it wasn’t blood that put your body in a frenzy, that caused that unique feeling of twin euphoria. It was something normal, something human: A kiss.
You pulled away needing to get your head on straight, “Just a kiss,” you murmured, “You just asked for a kiss.”
“What if I want more now?” his voice was deeper than you were used to hearing it, heavy with desire.
You opened your eyes to peer at him, “We are in your friend’s home. And we’ve only just kissed.”
He smirked, “Chaste as a nun,” he teased.
“And you call me the lecherous leech.”
He pressed another firm kiss to your lips, leaving you utterly breathless before he laid at your side again, “No matter. I am patient.”
You bit your lip, staring straight up at the ceiling again. Your cheeks were on fire and your heart was still hammering in your chest. Nanami had kissed you… and as much as you wanted to bask in the giddiness of this moment, you could only feel a sense of foreboding tugging at your heart strings instead.
Summary: You’ve just gotten back from your final concert and your usual FWB and fellow musician, Gojo Satoru, texts you to link. Neither of you are in a position to foster a true relationship, but what you have between the two of you is still more than a typical friend with benefits.
A/N:This was going to be the beginning of a series some time ago but I decided against it, and just made it a oneshot instead. I hope you all enjoy. The song of choice for this one is F.U.C.K. by Victoria Monet
Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, 18+ ONLY, this is mostly smut
The moment you got into your apartment you breathed a heavy sigh of relief. You were just getting in from a concert after months on the road with your band. It was a bit of a tradition for the tour to end in your city so you could leave and just go straight home. As much as you loved your craft, you loved being at home, worry free even more. You’d just gone into your kitchen for a snack when your phone vibrated in your pocket. You pulled it out and looked at the name:
Of course, he was texting. You’d heard through the grapevine that your preferred dick provider was in town, but hadn’t given it another thought since you heard the information before your show. Now, you rolled your eyes before opening the message:
-wyd
-depends on what you want
-can I come thru?
-for what?
-guess
-to eat my pussy and leave?
-ur so mean. Be there in 10
You giggled taking your twists out of the bun on top of your head. Be it as it was, you were too busy to worry about maintaining a relationship, which made things with him just make sense. Gojo Satoru was a big deal. He was more than a big deal, he was the biggest deal in music right now. However, you knew him before the fame, when you were both small time, playing open mics. Gojo took off first, but you weren’t too far behind him. It was honestly a blessing to have a friend in the industry like Gojo. Not just for the emotional support, but he was busier than you and couldn’t be bothered with a relationship either. He was a reliable friend with benefits.
You went to your fridge and grabbed a water bottle, opening it and tilting your head back to chug the bottle. Concerts always left you parched and virtually wiped out. If anyone else had texted you, you would have ignored it. You were a bit sweaty from your concert. You should probably shower, but if you got in now there was no way you’d be out before Gojo was here. You rooted around your kitchen for the cookies you put away. It would keep him occupied while you took a quick shower.
In record timing Gojo called to be buzzed in and you unlocked the front door so he could come in. The man of the hour walked in with a black beanie, sunglasses, and a puffy black coat. It was cold outside plus, when you’re a famous guitarist and lead singer, anonymity is key for a sneaky link. He grinned when he saw you, snatching off his hat to reveal his snow white hair. He tossed the hat on your couch before taking off his coat and tossing it too.
“You dress up for me?” He questioned coming over to wrap his arms around you. He smelled like weed which meant there was a good chance he was coming from some kind of party. His overly tight black-tee and ripped pants were also a sure give away of his activities. You could see his nipple piercings through the thin shirt, which you were sure was the point. You wondered idly how he wound up texting you of all people tonight. If he was at a party then you were sure he had access to all sorts of beautiful people.
“Had a concert tonight. I’m just getting in,” you answered softly, trying to be kind to your vocal cords after a long night of using them.
“Oh fuck, how’d I miss that?” His shoulders slumped in disappointment.
“You don’t give a fuck,” you rolled your eyes, pushing away from him. You still had on the leather pants and corset from your show. It was restrictive but not the most uncomfortable outfit you’d worn for a performance.
“Don’t say that,” he crooned. You whipped around to glare at him for a moment, getting close and looking straight up his nose.
“You weren’t out doing lines off groupies were you.”
“I’m straight edge, you know that. I don’t even drink.” He responded as if offended that you would even assume he was partaking in that kind of stuff. You did know this about Gojo though. It was a rarity among artists. Even you had the occasional drink, but in the interest of your vocal cords you didn’t smoke, and nothing else could possibly appeal to you. Gojo was an awful lightweight, and he hated the way drinking made him feel. In all your time knowing him, you’d seen him drunk once.
“Just being sure. You smell like weed,” you shrugged, because no matter how well you thought you knew a person, they could always have a secret.
“It was a party, you smell like sweat.”
“Lights were hot. Come shower with me.”
“Right to getting me naked, huh?” He grinned, following after you as you went to the back of your high rise apartment, toward the bedroom. Despite being more than capable of living in a huge penthouse or maybe even a sprawling mansion, you chose this humble high rise. It was humble compared to the homes of other people of your status. You just didn’t like having more than you needed. This was all the space you needed, especially since you were on tour so often. There was no point in having a mansion that you’d never be in.
You didn’t usually shower with the people you slept with, but it was Gojo. He was aggravating, using your expensive shampoo to wash his hair and spike it up in random directions. You took notice of his fresh undercut. It had to be fresh, the light fade from the nape of his neck up toward the longer hair was too crisp and perfect. The day he undercut his hair you knew that Gojo Satoru was always going to be on your roster. He was hot. And because he was hot, you let him use your expensive body butters to moisturize because there was no way he was touching you with dry skin. It just wasn’t going to happen.
“You got a new tattoo,” he gasped suddenly. You looked over your shoulder at him as you were putting towels on the bed in preparation. It took you a second to remember that it had been a while since you and Gojo were in the same city. He hadn’t seen the carefully drawn snake cuffing your upper arm in red ink was new to him.
“Damn that’s hot,” he complimented, touching the lines with his fingertips, “Any more?”
“It’s more fun if I let you find them.”
You watched his smile grow as you looked at him, “Get your cute ass on that bed then. All fours, I know where I wanna look first.”
The best thing about Gojo, he knew your body like the back of his hand. The same could be said about you for him, of course. However the very moment you were in the position Gojo asked you to be he drew his hands, up the backs of your thighs, up to your ass before squeezing it.
“You look good enough to eat, honey.”
“That’s what you’re here for,” you quipped, snatching one of your pillows to rest your head on, as you settled into your position, adding an extra arc to your back. He spanked your ass, and you could imagine the smile on his face as your startled gasp made him chuckle.
“Right, that’s the plan, huh? Eat it and leave.”
“Mmhm,” you bluffed.
“Then I ought to make the most of this.”
From the first touch of his tongue to every moment after you felt like you’d slipped into some sinful pocket dimension ruled by lust and lust alone. His tongue, oh god his tongue. It was the only weapon forged against you that constantly prevailed. To be skilled enough at oral to make a woman come was something special, but to be so skilled to keep that same woman in a state of mind numbing pleasure, and soul breaking frustration from not cumming, that was a real demonstration of prowess.
It was like you said. He knew your body, knew exactly how you sounded when you were close to cumming, the way your body reacted, how close he could bring you to your climax before he stopped and ruined your orgasm. He alternated between staunchly avoiding your clit to sucking it, pulsing his cruel tongue against it, and giving light barely there indirect contact.
You were whining into the pillow, breathing deeply as you let your stomach relax, chasing your orgasm. He held your thighs in those big hands, keeping you in place and unable to move. It was maddening and you loved every second of it.
“Please, Satoru,” you lifted your head to breathe.
“Hm?” He hummed, still at work between your legs.
“Please, I need to cum.”
“Already?” He pulled away, making you whine at the loss of stimulation, “I’m just getting started, honey.”
As he spoke he slipped one long finger into your already soaking pussy. You whined. Tour life didn’t really yield much in sex with you. Men were such a gamble, and you had bigger things to worry about than dick, but now that Gojo was teasing, you weren’t so sure there was anything else in the world you could possibly worry about. Your own fingers were a poor replacement, and toys just couldn’t be as deliciously cruel as Gojo. You didn’t have the heart to deny yourself what you wanted, even if you knew it would make the end result all the sweeter.
One finger became two, then three, as he played in your pussy, and you had to call it playing because he knew where your g-spot was. He hit it at random intervals but always with such purpose and precision that you couldn’t begin to think that it was accidental. You were so close.
“Satoru,” you whined.
“Mmhm. What do you want, honey?” He purred at you.
“I wanna cum. Please. Please let me cum.”
“Hm, but what’s the fun in that? Especially when you sound so pretty begging me.”
You groaned, “Ugh, kiss my ass Satoru.”
He curled his fingers against your spot, making you whine a pitiful moan. Then he kept doing it, all while you felt his lips press against one of your ass cheeks.
You would have laughed, if he’d let up at all on your g-spot. You knew what he wanted, and relaxed your stomach completely to give it to him. After all, there were more reasons than one why you’d downed a bottle of water before he got here. He moved his fingers quickly, roughly rubbing against that spot that felt so intense it almost hurt, but your moans and heavy breathing certainly weren’t an expression of misery.
Gojo wasn’t satisfied until you gushed around his fingers, your cum dripped into his palm and down his wrist as you came.
“There’s the waterworks I’m looking for,” he laughed, spanking you lightly as he slowed his fingers a bit, enjoying the strong contraction of your pussy.
He was diabolical. As great as a vaginal orgasm was, it always left you wanting more.
“Well, I guess that’s all,” Gojo sighed, slowly taking his fingers out of you. He spread your sex with his thumbs, giving you one last longing look before patting your ass like it was the hood of a car, and moving away from you.
“Satoru, if you walk away from me right now I’ll never forgive you,” you breathed.
“But you said-“
You lifted yourself up on your arms and you could look back at him. You gave him a sweet doe eyed look, “You don’t wanna fuck me, Satoru?” There was no way you were going to fold and beg him to come back. It was more fun to tease him into coming back to you.
He breathed a resigned sigh, “I’m too soft on you.”
“You were just being mean to me,” you complained.
He pushed your upper body back down with a hard shove, “And yet you still get everything you ask for.”
You heard your nightstand drawer open and you turned again to watch him put on a condom all the while playfully griping at you.
“I always give you everything you want, spoiled little thing and you had the nerve to tell me to eat it and go.”
“I’m sorry, Toru,” you cooed the nickname, knowing he liked it when you played nice with him, especially when you had every intention to still be mean later on. It was one big game and you loved every part of it.
“No, you’re not, but you will be. It’s been too long since I had good pussy, honey.”
Was it crude? Yes. Was it also extremely flattering that a man like Gojo considered sex with you to be exceptional? Also, yes. You put a bit more of an arch in your back, shaking your ass a bit to catch his eye. It did, his hands came up to knead the soft flesh of your ass before spanking you again.
“You gonna be good for me?” He asked, and you felt the head of his dick, swipe through your folds as he teased you with it.
You nodded, “Yes.”
Gojo let his eyes trail up your back, taking in the graceful arch of your back, all the way up to the pretty side profile of your face as you laid with your cheek pressed against one of your pillows. To say he’d missed you while you were on tour was a severe understatement. It was a real mystery to him how he missed that you had a concert tonight. If he knew, he would have been waiting backstage for you. He didn’t even care about the risk of someone finding out about the two of you and feeding it to the press. You were just too good to pass up.
He teased himself and you a bit longer, listening to your breath hitch as his dick rubbed against your clit before traveling back to your entrance. He took his time pressing into you, watching your hole stretch to accommodate him. You were wet, obscenely so. It was a test of his own self control to enter you slowly instead of rushing in to be deep inside your wet heat. When at last he was seated fully inside of you, he let his hands caress your body, from your hips all the way to your waist and then back.
“Fuck,” he huffed.
You hummed, pushing your hips back against him, “Come on,” you whined.
“Impatient little thing,” he chided lightly, “that’s okay. I’ve got something for that.”
He pulled out of you almost completely before pushing back into you sharply. The head of his cock butting up against the end of you harshly. You gasped, rocking forward reflexively. He grabbed one of your arms and brought it behind your back.
“Now where are you going?” He asked, a lilt of cruel humor in his voice as he gripped your forearm. He pressed it against your back to keep you in place as he began a punishing pace. His hips smacked your ass over and over again, pushing your moans out of you as your body jolted forward from the impact. Your headboard hit the wall violently, probably making marks on the wall paper. Each time his hips smacked your ass it sent a jolt of pleasure all the way down to your toes.
“That’s right,” he breathed, “Take it like a good girl. Fuck!”
“Satoru!”
“Shut up,” he bit back, “lemme hear this pussy talk.”
The sounds of your sex would have been mortifying if it wasn’t so goddamn sexy just how wet he could get you. Every time, it didn’t matter how many towels you put down, if you were dealing with Gojo you were going to ruin your sheets.
His gaze was locked on his cock, watching it disappear inside of you, wet with your slick. The ring of white from the way you were creaming on his dick only made him less inclined to hold back with you. It’s why he never called anyone else when he was in your city. You were too good to pass up. He grinned in delight watching your hips push back into him, meeting his every thrust.
“Fuck yeah that’s what I’m talking about sweetheart. Fuck me back.”
You could feel sweat moistening your skin from exertion and arousal, making your whole body slick. Your thighs were shaking as the quickly coiling knot in your stomach just wound tighter and tighter. This was the reason you always answered Gojo’s texts. Sure he was a reliable friend with benefits who was also an actual friend, but more than that no one made you cum like him. Every time he thrusted into you, you felt that coil get tighter and every time you thought you were going to cum you didn’t. Instead your arousal just found new heights, scary heights, heights that made your breath stutter in your chest and your moans turn to choked whimpers. You couldn’t draw in enough breath to properly moan for him. He was driving the breath out of your lungs.
The wind up to your orgasm was dangerously long. It felt like a steady climbing first hill of a roller coaster and every time you felt like you’d finally hit the top you just kept chugging along higher.
“Satoru,” you whispered as your cheek hit the sheets.
“Fuck you’re squeezing me so tight I can barely fucking move. Been too long since I had you, sweet thing.”
“Mmm fuck me, fuck me, fuck me,” you whined into the air listening to Gojo moan from behind you.
He pulled out abruptly and you whined at the loss only for him to shove you over onto your side and then again so that you were lying on your back. He grabbed your legs and spread them, putting them up on his shoulders before he dove back into you. You gasped, gripping the pillow under your head as this new angle made him butt right against your g-spot. The overwhelming pleasure made you press your head back, body making a gentle arch.
He turned and kissed your leg as he kept up his fast pace for a moment and then he slowed all. The way. Down. He focused hard precise strokes right on your g-spot as he pressed one massive hand down on your lower stomach. It felt like the floor of your body dropped out from underneath you. It hurt in the best of ways and you felt like a woman possessed. Your thighs quivered and electric shocks of pleasure made your hips jerk sporadically. There was that coil winding tighter and tighter, and yet your knew this wouldn’t be the end. Even as it became impossible to hold back the flood of arousal, you knew this wasn’t over. All the pleasure welled up and then overflowed as you gushed around him, solidifying the fact that you’d have to change the sheets before you went to sleep.
“Fuuuuck,” he drew out the world low and rough as he kept fucking through the tight contractions of your pussy, and the way that your cum splashed at his hips. You were warm and even wetter than before. Your hands trembled as you pulled him towards you, first with your hands at his hips pulling him closer.
He watched your slack jawed, pleasured face and slowly leaned down, folding you in half in the process, to capture your lips in a kiss. His tongue moved with yours, dancing to the music of your muffled moans. You slipped your hand between the two of you to rub your clit in quick circles as Gojo fucked you faster.
Your third orgasm of the night literally stole your breath. You threw your head back, sinking your nails into Gojo’s back as your mouth stayed open in a silent scream. You were vaguely aware of Gojo cursing and moaning on top of you as the pleasure of your orgasm hit you like a freight train. The other two times you came were nothing compared to this. Your toes curled and your eyes rolled back as you fought to get breath into your lungs as every muscle in your body sporadically locked down and released in wild body shaking contraction. When you could make a sound your moans were ragged, pushed out of you, squeezed out, like wringing a towel. They weren’t the pretty little moans pornstars made to sound properly fuckable. This was the sound of a woman on the brink of losing her mind, grasping at the pyre that set her body ablaze. You felt alive and near complete annihilation all at once.
Gojo clenched his jaw feeling how close he was to coming. You were so perfect. He wondered what you’d feel like without a rubber. If you were this good with it on, he didn’t think he could handle you without it. He buried his face in your neck moaning in your ear the way he knew you liked, not that he could help it. The only thing he was in control of was his position. The moans were going to come regardless. The head of his cock kept nudging the end of you and soon enough he couldn’t hold back.
“Fuuuuck. You’re so good for me. Fuuuck yesss,” he moaned as he came, hips shoving into you erratically coaxing whimpers and overstimulated groans from you. The rounded point of your nails bit into his back making the pleasure so much sweeter with the bitter sting of pain to reward his efforts. Like a man starved he kissed and bit your neck and shoulder, feeling so overwhelmingly good and needing an outlet for the sizzling hot pleasure coursing through his body. He felt delirious with it, ravenous, unhinged, drinking up every sound you made as he throbbed inside of you.
You seemed to zap all the strength from his muscles because after the intense peak of his climax was over his weight bore down on top of you, hips moving shallowly riding out the dull aftershocks.
You were both silent, joined together for an immeasurable amount of time. It could have been an eternity or a few seconds, minutes, hours, who knows? Your brain clicked back on some unknowable amount of time later and you felt a certain amount of affection swell up for Gojo. It was hard not to be soft on him when he made you cum like that back to back. You moved your legs, and he helped you, letting them rest comfortably around his waist where you could hug him in closer with them. You rubbed his back, soothing the scratches a bit, before wrapping your arms around his neck. You hugged him. His face was still pressed against the crook of your neck, so you turned and kissed his forehead. It took him a moment to respond to your affection, lifting slowly to press his lips against yours and devour you completely.
“Why do you always do this to me?” He groaned, feeling a warmth in his chest that blossomed and prickled against his skin like standing in front of a fireplace after coming in from the bitter cold.
“That shit was so good you deserve kisses,” you giggled, peppering them across his face.
“You’re just the same as always, fucking insatiable. Where’s your vibe so I can teach you a lesson about being cute with me?”he started lifting up but you pulled him back down.
“Don’t be like that. Once you get out of me I’ll calm down, baby,” you giggled letting your fingers trail up his spine. You felt him shiver against you, “unless you wanna go again.”
“I can’t feel my fucking legs.”
“Hm, you hungry then?”
“Starving.”
“I’m thinking a cajun shrimp Alfredo.”
“This is why you’re my favorite,” he sighed, rolling off of you. He took a deep breath, staring up at your ceiling without really feeling it. He was never really a runner, but the feeling he got after fucking you must be what people meant when they talked about a runner’s high. He still felt a bit delirious from just how hard he came. Speaking of, he had a condom to dispose of.
You scoffed, sitting up and taking note of the wet and sorta cold towel you were sitting on, “You just like me for my cooking?”
“Mmhm, but I like that you let me have dessert before dinner too.”
You giggled as you got up, grabbing the towel off of the bed to go toss in the washing machine. You’d get the sheets later. Aside from sex with Gojo being phenomenal there were other things to like about him. As much as you couldn’t handle juggling a real relationship, you liked the sappy relationship stuff. You liked cooking for someone else. You liked kissing and being held. You liked being cuddled up with someone. The hallmark idea of a relationship appealed to you, but real relationships required work. You simply weren’t interested in working very hard for those things. Gojo was perfect for this.
It was something you knew confused other women. Gojo was a typical man. He wanted relationship stuff without the relationship. Which could be cruel if he was dealing with a woman who truly believed she could make him pick her if she tried hard enough, or gave enough herself to him. With you, you gave exactly what you were willing to give and nothing more.
While you were cooking, Gojo came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder, before inquiring about how the tour went. You leaned back into him a bit. He smelled like you, which you liked, and you knew it would get him in trouble when he went back to wherever he was staying if his bandmates noticed.
“Tour was great, most of the shows sold out, the others were close to it. I’m really happy with the new sound engineer. He’s fantastic, miles better than that last guy.”
He hummed in understanding. He liked listening to you talk. He liked this whole part of being in your presence. The thing is, Gojo liked being touchy feely. He often refrained from it to keep people from getting the wrong idea, but when you weren’t around to sleep with he yearned for this kind of closeness, just having a warm body in his arms, and someone who would speak calmly to him without asking if he loved you, or if he would stop sleeping around for you. The two of you could just exist as you were in the present, and appreciate that you were in the same place together.
“The new album is awesome, by the way,” he said, “I listened to it on the plane here.”
You grinned, “Yeah? That’s high praise coming from you. You said you hated the demos.”
He chuckled, “I’ll admit, I didn’t see the vision before. I’ll keep my mouth shut next time.”
“You’d better.”
“My favorite is Satin Sheets.”
You rolled your eyes because of course his favorite was Satin Sheets. It was about him. That wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. There were about three songs that Gojo had written that were about you and they were… specific and raunchy.
“You’re so conceited,” you sighed.
“Well, you’re not exactly humbling me.”
You hummed your agreement, gently breaking his hold on you so you could take the pasta off of the heat to strain it. There was really no point in humbling Gojo. Being purposefully hurtful wasn’t really your thing. Besides, he deserved the praise. The sex was great and he was a pretty decent guy all things considered. When you’re in this business for a while, you come to realize there aren’t many people you can trust. You got lucky to have a handful of friends that were genuine. A simple dinner like this, with a trusted friend was a rare moment to hold on to.
The two of you sat on your sofa for dinner, with a movie on just to fill the silence. The two of you talked about work, you caught each other up on the benign happenings of your life. You were pleasantly surprised when Gojo told you he was actually going to attend an awards show for once. He didn’t usually bother going, his other bandmates accepted the award for him.
“Well, you’re up for quite a few awards,” he said, with a proud smile, “I gotta see you cry on stage.”
You scoffed, “Fuck you.”
He laughed, “You’re bound to win at least one. I think you might actually beat us for album of the year.”
“I hope not! Your fans’ll eat me alive.”
“My fans?!” he exclaimed incredulously, “The Y/N task-force is brutal! I haven’t forgotten how badly they dragged Suguru for joking that you weren’t a great lyricist.”
“He was being shady,” you said with a little laugh.
“Yeah, to me!”
It had been hilarious, watching Geto get dragged across Twitter until everyone realized the song he was making fun of was written by Gojo and not you. It was a delightful evening of Gojo sending you screenshots of memes people made dragging his best friend. At the time you felt horrible. When the worst of it was going on, you were in the studio, and therefore you didn’t have your phone to correct them.
“But really, I think you deserve album of the year.”
“Thanks, Toru.”
The two of you were silent for a good long while before Gojo spoke again, “So… you and that idol…?”
You smiled, “Jealous?”
“Not very. I mean I’m here and he’s-”
“Publicity. He’s publicity. Couple of dates to make the fans go crazy that’s it,” you said.
“Knew it,” he grinned.
You rolled your eyes at him but chose not to say anything more. Gojo was possessive. If you called him that much to his face he’d vehemently deny it, but you knew he saw you as his, and you didn’t care to correct him on that. If you were a better person you might, but as it was you liked these moments, playing house, having someone who would hold you to his side. It worked for you.
Chapter 4 Summary: Nanami addresses the fact that you have been avoiding him, and the two of you go to a church to get more information on the ghoul that nearly killed you.
Warnings: talk of death, blood, some gore… but no worse than canon
Nanami sat inside of the confessional booth all evening, expecting you to come by and say something vulgar that would assure him the two of you were alright. You did not come to confession. It had been a week since the night you fed from him and you seemed to be avoiding him all together. He heard about you, from the abbess of the convent. You’d gone back to your usual room, and the woman was actually pleased with your behavior for once.
“She’s acting like a proper lady of Christ,” the woman said, which didn’t sound like you at all. He didn’t see you in the front row of his sermon, making bedroom eyes at him, or holding his eye contact for the fun of it, nor were you waiting at the back of the church to tease him on his way out about the lecherous thoughts you needed to be forgiven for.
He went searching for you one evening when the sisters said you weren’t in your room. He doubted that you ran away, but it was still concerning not to know where you were nevertheless. When he found you, you were back in the cellar but this time in the armory, whittling pieces of wood into stakes. He didn’t know what to say to you. Upon seeing you he almost wished he hadn’t sought you out. You weren’t in your habit, which made sense, you were woodworking. Instead you were in a tight fitted tank top and pants, bent over with your elbows resting on your knees. It really put your cleavage front and center.
He cleared his throat, “Did we need more stakes?” He didn’t know whether or not to sit so he stayed lingering in front of you a bit before eventually taking a seat at your side, on the wooden bench.
“We always need more stakes,” you said without looking up.
“Mother Superior says you’ve finally become a respectable lady,” he said, studying your profile to make sense of your expression. You seemed to have been incredibly busy. There were fresh salt rounds, silver rounds. Nanami didn’t like using a shotgun, they lacked precision, but there were other hunters who took ammunition from the parish, most notably Gojo.
You made a little sound of amusement, “‘M happy to finally make mommy proud.”
Nanami felt his lips twitch up at the ghost of your usual humor coming back, but you let the quiet between the two of you linger and he felt at a loss for what to do. Maybe if he kept giving you the bait for bad jokes then things would feel normal again.
“You know I thought for sure you would have sins to confess, today.”
You hummed, “Why is that?”
“Er, uh well you always do.”
“I think you know what I’d repent for. And I think we both know it wouldn’t do me any good.”
“Right but uh, maybe I wanted company.”
“Shouldn’t you be overjoyed that the congregation has no late night confessions?”
This was not going well, “What about training? There are plenty of defensive holds you have yet to master.” he said thinking of how you always made jokes about being pinned under him.
“It seemed like a bad idea given I’m always aware of your pulse. I don’t want to know if fighting you would trigger bloodlust,” you said, sounding more miserable than before. Nanami frowned, not knowing what to say. He was beginning to feel guilty about his choice. Well if he was honest, he’d been guilty about it since that car ride back to the church.
“Are you angry with me?” he asked plainly.
And you turned to look at him. The confusion in your gaze did serve as a bit of relief but he didn’t know why. What difference did it make if you were upset? The deal between the two of you was set in stone. It was almost his duty to keep you alive so that you could fulfill your side of the bargain. He was sure you risked your life because… well he wanted to say so he could kill you, but honestly, you were dying. Your primary motive for the things you did couldn’t be death because there were easier ways to meet your demise. It made no sense. You couldn’t risk your life for a chance to die. So you risked your life to save him, and that knowledge settled heavily in his chest. He was looking down at his wrist, the one he cut. It healed without a scar, naturally, but that didn’t stop him from drawing his thumb across that place where the wound had been.
“No.” you answered and your answer pinged that extra sense in his brain that told him you were lying.
“Are you sure?” he asked. Nanami was looking at you through his eyelashes. The guilt on his face was obvious and you wanted to take it from him.
“I’m not angry at you,” you shook your head, “Just kinda disgusted with myself. I’m… mad at Cordelius, I’m mad at myself. Even right now it’s like my ear is acutely tuned to your heartbeat. And it’s maddening. I’m feeling a little Tell Tale Heart right now.”
“Are you planning to smother me and hide my body under the floorboards?” He questioned in jest.
You chuckled, “No… Are you here just because you were worried about me skipping out on the word of God?”
“I’m not. We have a new directive.”
“What are we hunting now?” You inspected the tip of the stake in your hand and then set it aside, brushing the wood shavings off of your clothes.
“Vampires like always.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, it’s not a true hunt. This is a favor to Gojo, a place he thinks we should check out. But there’s a vampire or two there we will have to eliminate.”
“So it has something to do with Cordelius,” you said, nodding to yourself, “I’ll meet you at the gate in ten then.”
“Right,” he meant to say but the intensity of your gaze made his voice get a little stuck in his throat so the word faltered a little.
The love of leather among hunters made more sense to you now that you were a bonafide hunter yourself. You used to think that it was just a sexy decision, but nothing held up to wear like well crafted leather. Given the last hunt, you weren’t keen on going in underprepared. You didn’t like to use a gun because they could be loud, and once they ran out of bullets they could only be used as a bludgeon. Your silver pikes were preferred, but if you ran into another “ghoul” you’d be grateful for the sawed off shotgun on your hip. The dramatic coats just made for a way to hide all the weapons harnessed to your body. A drop of water hit your cheek, and you looked up at the gloomy sky in time for more rain drops to fall.
You heard an umbrella open from a few yards away from you and you turned to see Nanami approaching. There was the red glow of a cigarette between his lips, which was a habit you didn’t know he had, and you didn’t appreciate all that much. The smell of it made you wrinkle your nose.
“Of all the vices, Father,” you teased as he got closer.
He made a noncommittal sound, “Not my vice of choice, actually,” He flicked the ashes off the end of the cigarette.
“Then why are you smoking?”
“Can you smell anything but the smoke?” he asked.
“No.”
“Good, we’re going to be in a car together for a while. I didn’t want my scent to be overwhelming for you.”
“Oh… thanks? Though I think I might have preferred the burn of thirst. You stink now. And smoking is bad for you.”
“Who would have thought that smoking would be your line in the sand? You’re not a very pious woman.” He blew the smoke away from you, before looking at the cigarette with a certain level of distaste.
“You are a pious man though. Won’t god be angry with you?” “Perhaps, but what will he do? Damn me?” he raised his eyebrows a bit, “Come on.” He nodded for you to go through the gate. You frowned looking at him. He was wearing his rosary over the black turtle neck that hugged his body a little too close for you to think pure thoughts. His coat hid his harness but you knew it was there.
“Shouldn’t you put away your rosary?”
“Hm, no, We’re actually visiting another church.”
“Oh, that’s new.”
He took another long drag outside of the church gates, before flicking the cigarette carelessly. You made a sound of complaint at him before going to step on it.
“Set the church on fire, why don’t you?!” You said. He came over with the umbrella to shield your head.
“It’s raining.”
“So?”
He just rolled his eyes, “Let’s go.”
It was common knowledge among those in the know about vampires that they could be found in the oldest churches. There was at least one skulking around most gothic style buildings, it didn’t have to be a church. This cathedral had been around for centuries. Nanami detailed that the two of you were looking for a few books to learn more about the ghouls, and then you would stake the vampires there when you got the chance. The two of you got out of the car in front of a huge cathedral.
“This place has been here for over 300 years,” Nanami remarked as you peered up at it, squinting your eyes against the rain. The high puff your hair was in could probably use some moisturizing anyway so you weren’t overly worried about Nanami and his umbrella, though he still put it over your head, blocking your view of the high church turrets.
“Shame it fell to heathens huh?” you said in jest.
“Not all bad. Vampires have far more respect for books than humans,” he said, leading the way towards the church. The church looked empty. The tall arched windows were dark and the front doors were closed. It used to strike you as odd that there wasn’t more stained glass in your own church, until Nanami clarified that stained glass was a vampiric invention to filter the amount of sunlight coming through the church windows. It would have been suspicious if they game into what used to be brightly lit churches and started boarding up windows. The stained glass was a clever ruse and the pretty colors drew people in.
Nanami knocked on the heavy wood doors and you didn’t think the two of you would be getting an answer. However, you could hear movement inside of the church, first from up high, then swiftly to the door. You sniffed trying to decide if there was a vampire on the other side of the door but instead got a big whiff of nicotine. You gagged.
“Ugh, don’t smoke on my behalf anymore. That is torture.”
“Sorry, I thought it might help.”
“Yeah help in driving me away. If you wanted me to get away from you, you could have just told me. No need to sabotage yourself.”
“I told you, I was just-” he began but then the door opened. Dark, deep seated eyes peered at you and you stared right back at them with unwavering intensity.
“Can I help you?”
“Hello,” Nanami greeted, “we’re scholars, looking to use your library?”
The dark eyes of the vampire in front of you appraised Nanami and then lingered on you for a bit longer than you appreciated. Nanami seemed to notice too, because he put an arm around your shoulder. You fought not to scrunch your nose. You weren’t nearly done giving him shit for smoking. The thought was nice but the reality was just awful. You would be grateful when he went back to smelling delectable.
“Young vampires care about history? I never thought I’d see the day.”
You kept yourself from rolling your eyes. Old vampires were all the same. They swore the younger ones were uncultured and unrefined while they actively bent history in their favor, desecrating cultures and ruining lives in their quest for blood. It was a pot calling the kettle black situation. He stepped aside, letting you both in. The cathedral was dark inside just as you suspected. It looked like a normal cathedral, though you could catch the faint scent of blood in the air, likely exacerbated by the rain. You wondered who this old vampire last fed on.
“We’ve come across a troubling creature. It killed 5 vampires downtown just a few days ago,” Nanami said seriously, “the Carmine Coven was its victim.”
The vampire clicked his tongue, “The Carmines… doesn’t surprise me. These are strange times. The Lydos Coven lost Tara and quite a few members not a fortnight ago.”
“I thought that was a territory skirmish,” Nanami lied, confusion in his voice when there shouldn’t be any.
“The vampires responsible had better continue to keep their heads down. The Viscount isn’t taking it well.”
“Viscount?”
“Yes! Oh you young folks know nothing. You’re not even a century old are you?”
“I am only 27, a dhampir, my mate was only turned 3 years ago.”
A dhampir and a newborn! This is what Cordelius spoke of! Vampires sullying themselves with humans, tainting the food with their seed, and making newborns just to leave in the world. We are in need of a culling,” he grumbled, “It is a good thing you two had sense enough to seek out wisdom. Even you, boy. You smell more like a vampire than those other half breeds.”
You frowned listening to this vampire. It felt like any moment now he was going to start selling vampire eugenics to the two of you. And more than that, Nanami had called you his mate. It was probably to make the old bat stop eyeing you, but you were still a little flustered by the idea. He hadn’t stopped touching you since you crossed the threshold. The vampire was still monologuing to the two of you.
“Do you have literature on beasts with black blood, razor sharp teeth, they look almost human, but they walk on all fours.”
“The Undead Guard? So Alexi did it? Yes, yes, we have literature. Come this way I will show you.”
He took the two of you underground to a cool dry room, that was perhaps the most modern part of this cathedral. There were so many books lined up on shelves. He took you to a vast line up of books, on every creature from the chimera to the unseelie. He dragged a thin finger across the binds until he stopped at a thin book, and then another thicker one, and a leather bound book that looked more like a sketchpad than a book. He gave the material to Nanami before bowing in front of you.
“Learn, young ones, understand the new dawn that we are approaching. You are among the few chosen to inherit it.”
You kept your face neutral as Nanami led the way to a table, his arm pulling you in tighter to his side, “Don’t get handsy, baby, we’ve got company,” you cooed at him. He shot you an unamused little look before pulling you in so he could speak in your ear.
“Would you like me to leave you with Count Bigotry?”
You stuck your tongue out at him.
“Then behave,” he let you go to pull out your chair for you. The old vampire left the room, encouraging you all to read while he found a fine vintage to share.
“Careful, how you talk to me, Father,” you flirted.
He rolled his eyes, “Or what? You’ll avoid eye contact and stutter when you speak to me?”
You scowled at him in retribution for his dig. It didn’t help though. He seemed utterly pleased with himself, having left you with nothing to say. You sat stewing in that for all of ten seconds before you had a lot of things to say.
“I wasn’t prepared for that,” you hissed at him, “That shouldn’t count.”
“Pleasure is pleasure,” he answered flippantly.
“And what do you know about pleasure?”
“More than you if a single bite made you hide from me for a week.”
“What’s more than a bite?” you asked, because it seemed like sharing one’s blood might be a step above sex.
Nanami raised his eyebrow at you, “And you called me the virgin.”
Your jaw dropped, “You’re the one who grew up in a church,” you hissed.
“I may have grown up in a church, but I haven’t always been there. And I was not always a priest.”
You narrowed your eyes, “You were an exotic dancer weren’t you?” you guessed for the sake of teasing him. He did not rise to your taunts.
“Pious I am, virtuous I am not,” he concluded, turning his full attention to the book in front of him.
“As a sister of the parish, you may lay down the heavy weight of your sins on me,” you said, resting your chin on your palm, and waiting for him to scold you for being crass. Instead he slowly lifted his eyes from the book and held you in place with his gaze alone.
“You are all fang and no bite,” he responded.
“Oh I bite.”
“You don’t,” he shook his head, “But I do,” he flashed his fangs at you, “Give up, I’ve figured you out. You wouldn’t know what to do with the weight of my sins.”
You didn’t even blink as you stared at him in shock. Was he… flirting with you? Or was he simply teasing? Either choice was more than a little disarming because Nanami had never done either. When you had nothing to say you watched him smirk a bit, reading the text before him smugly. He was, in some ways, right about you. You were not virtuous, in that you were no longer a virgin, and you weren’t particularly pious, but you were far from someone getting their fill of sex and pleasure. You were pretending to be a nun, which meant, besides kissing a few nuns and maybe fingering one in the shower once, you were untouched. You certainly hadn’t been touched by a man in years. Which honestly was a welcome reprieve. Vampires were very touchy-feely. It came with the hedonism you were sure. You supposed Nanami was born into vampirism, you always thought his restraint was proof that vampires chose to indulge so gratuitously in pleasures of the flesh and everything else, but if even he had his vices then maybe it really was of their nature, of your nature. You weren’t even pretending to be reading over his shoulder, instead studying the gold strands of hair on his head that caught the yellow lights overhead. It seemed genetically unlikely for him to be blonde, yet you never saw any roots showing, so you could only guess that it was natural. You’d wager that his father, the vampire, was the blond one. It was neatly cut and pushed away from his forehead with a product that’s hold was a bit looser than normal due to brief brushes with the rain. You reached out and fixed a strand that stuck out and forward, like a little unicorn horn as he looked down at the book. Your fingers were light in his soft silky hair, carefully coaxing the hair to cooperate. Nanami turned to look at you again now that you were touching him. You couldn’t make sense of his gaze and so you began to take your hand away.
“Sorry,” you said.
He flexed his jaw before answering, “There’s a passage here on all the creatures classified as the undead. There are more than just our ghoul.”
You purposefully put your gaze on the page, staring at the grotesque drawings. You were very nearly resting your chin on his arm as you studied the open pages. Finally you turned your attention to the book in front of you. It was titled, Curiosities of Vampirism: Curses and Bindings, you wondered if the ghoul could be a cursed vampire. It made more sense in your brain that someone could go from human, to vampire, to ghoul, better than it did to skip that middle stage. There were plenty of curses detailed inside of the book. Some you’d heard of in the Viscount’s musings about the scourges on vampires, others were new to you.
“Ah young love,” the old vampire mused as he came back this time with a bottle of wine and chalices from which to drink, “Do the two of you belong to a coven?”
“We are on our own,” Nanami answered.
“May I ask, my boy, why are you and your partner not mated? Eternity offers so few companions and far fewer beautiful ones that smell so sweet.”
“We have eternity, what’s the rush?” Nanami questioned.
The vampire laughed, setting the bottle and glasses on the table, “Perhaps it is diluted in your blood, but we vampires hoard our pleasures. We need them in our long lives. If you do not claim your pleasures, someone else will. That goes for you too, my darling. Though, I can smell you on him,” he said this while pouring a glass for you. His eyes were pale, almost as if they’d collected dust. It wasn’t very noticeable. You were sure that a human never would have noticed it and perhaps most vampires did not either.
“How old are you?”
“Why… nearly 500 I do believe.”
“And you are here alone?” you turned your voice into something more mournful and less opportunistic. It wasn’t lost on you that you both intended to kill this vampire.
“I am now. The others are on the hunt. You may both stay for dinner if you like.”
“How generous, but we won’t be staying that long,” Nanami said.
The old vampire smiled, “Wise. There are plenty of full blooded vampires in my coven who would not be as respectful of your… unofficial bond. Particularly for a fine flower such as she. Do consider what I’ve said. You are not human, your desires are not so fleeting, we could hardly live as long as we do if we were so changeable. If you truly want her now, you will want her for eternity even should you fall to the pits of hell.”
Nanami stared at him, unmoved. You wondered if he was at his wits end pretending to be mated to you. His face looked so unamused by the old vampire’s musing. The vampire seemed to recognize this too.
“Buuuut if you do not want her, I would encourage the young lady to stay here. She might have the entirety of the coven at her feet. Has anyone told you, my dear, that you have stars in your eyes? I never understood the saying until I looked into your eyes, dark as coal, throwing the light right back at me. You have stars in your eyes and you smell like fresh blooms on a summer night.” He placed a hand on yours as if he meant to pick your hand up, but Nanami grabbed your wrist.
“Do not become overly familiar,” Nanami’s voice was quick and precise, showing a bit of his fangs. You looked at him, impressed by the performance he was putting on. He actually looked cross that this old vampire was touching you.
The vampire smiled, “Ah you do have some brass to you. Should you find yourself in need of lodging my dear,” he looked back at you and you met his gaze as he caressed the side of you face gently. Then you heard the tell-tale sound of Nanami’s gun cock, and then he fired. The silencer on the end dulled the sound, but you were left staring at the corpse until it fell over. You whipped around to look at Nanami in shock.
“Oh… were you getting attached? We were going to kill him anyway. Now was as good of a time as any.”
“Yeah, but, you may have given me a warning.”
“I’ll be sure to remind you the next time I kill a vampire,” he snapped.
“It just surprised me is all. There could be other vampires here!”
“He said himself that the others were out hunting.”
“And what about when they come back and see him dead?”
“We will be long gone by then. Come on, help me take some of these books. You were still in shock as Nanami started putting books in your hands. You stared at him, completely flabbergasted. When he noticed you gaping at him he rolled his eyes at you.
“I’m sorry, did I ruin your fantasy of being mated to an old bigotted vampire, old enough to start collecting dust?”
“Nanami,” you called as he turned away from you and grabbed another stack, “Nanami, I’m still trying to process. What is going on with you?”
“We need to get as many of these books as we can while the rain has paused. Let’s go.” He started towards the exit.
He seemed to be nearly running from you, though you supposed there were a lot of books to move and only so much time to do it. It took a few trips, and the back of the sedan was full when the two of you were done. You still couldn’t make sense of his actions.
“That is going to be trouble for us later,” you murmured as he got in the driver’s side.
“When I want your opinion, I will ask for it,” he said, sighing.
He really made you testy, “Look I agree, the whole vampire culling talk was giving Nazi vibes, but it still serves our goal, you know less vampires in the world.”
“They meant to refine the ones among them. If there are vampires not worthy of life, then you understand what they think of humans.”
“Right but that’s not new. All vampires think of humans as nothing but blood bags.”
“Not all of them,” he said.
“Well, not me, and certainly not you,” you amended.
“There are other vampires who are just as repulsed by the disease of vampirism as you and I are.”
“Where are they?”
“They died the first time some egomaniac started talking about a culling.”
You nodded slowly, trying to make sense of the fury in his gaze. You wondered who he’d lost. You sort of assumed that because Nanami had been alone since the moment you met him, that he’d always been alone. You never thought to wonder if at one point he might have had people he cared about, perhaps even a lover. Is that what made his eyes burn with fury, a lover who was killed in the last “culling”. You laughed ruefully as you felt a certain bitterness begin to ache in your chest. What were you upset about? You were a deadwoman walking. What did Nanami’s past matter? Your limited future was set. You would eliminate the Viscount Alexi Cordelius and then Nanami would kill you.
You wondered if he’d shot that old vampire because he feared I might take his invitation. He had been promising a life pleasure, it just hadn’t seemed all that pleasurable to you, so you didn’t even consider it. With that you said little else. The car ride was silent and you were listening to the sound of the rain as it began to pick back up. You watched the church become smaller in the rearview mirror.
“You’re quiet again,” he remarked as the two of you were on the highway.
“I thought I was annoying before.”
“Annoying me has never kept you silent.”
“Touche,” you said.
Nanami glanced at you to see you were looking out of your window. It seemed he was back at square one with you. He didn’t know why he reacted that way to the old vampire, he wasn’t offended by being called a half breed, or any of the other prejudiced connotations that the vampire used against him He just found himself increasingly irritated with him as he kept talking about claiming you as if the two of you were nothing more than brainless animals looking to mark their territory. Of course there was no territory to mark. The two of you weren’t “the two of you”. You were a team because he decided to vouch for you, and he truly didn’t expect to have you around that long. Maybe Nanami just feared for your safety. He got that same nearly helpless feeling from when you were dying in his arms, when that old vampire started talking about your home in that coven. He didn’t like it.
“Did you want to go… with him?” Nanami asked softly.
You snorted, “Did I want to join a bunch of eugenics backing vampires?” you laughed, “Get real.”
“You could have done it. I’m sure that old vampire would have fought for you, and between the two of you, you could have overtaken me.”
“Is that what’s bothering you? You thought he was tempting me?” you turned to look at him, an amused grin on your lips, “Father, you usually give blonds a much better name.”
“You seemed to be listening quite intently,” he shrugged.
“Because we were pretending to be wayward vampires looking for guidance,” you explained, “I was playing the part. I spent my whole life under the thumb of old, bigoted vampires. Do you really think that I’m just going to leap at the chance to spend eternity with a new one? I thought you knew me better than that.”
He let out a heavy breath, “I do.” It was the truth. You never would have found a place there, you didn’t even drink human, you hid from him when you drank from him. The idea that you would even think about joining them was preposterous.
“You’re stuck with me until you drive a stake through my heart, Nanami. That’s our deal. I don’t get to skip out of it early right?”
Chapter 3 Summary: While Gojo is in Wales confirming the location of Alexi Cordelius, you and Nanami go on a hunt to slay a den of vampires that have been causing a series of disappearances in the city. However, you both get more than you bargain for when you enter the den.
Warnings: talk of death, blood, some gore… but no worse than canon
Nanami gave you your weapons as you stood by the gate. The parish was quiet, everyone else was fast asleep while the two of you went vampire hunting. With the apprehension of Alexi Cordelius out of your hands at the moment, higher up officials had not paused in their demands for Nanami to neutralize nearby vampiric threats. You thought they might, or you thought that with the approach of your execution they’d be eager to put you under lock and key. It seemed like everyone expected you to turn tail and run. Why would you run though? What would you have to look forward to? Life had been one long run of awful luck. If someone pressed you to answer, you would struggle to find a singular happy memory. You were sold as a feeder at 13 and you didn’t have any memories before that. In the Viscount’s vast library there were psychology texts that you grabbed on a whim. There are lots of reasons why people don’t remember their childhood. Repression was a likely culprit. It was easy to believe that nothing good had ever happened to you. And beyond some vague impressions of humble living and the face of your mother you didn’t remember too much from your childhood. Life was so horrific after that that you weren’t sure your brain had the space to encode all of that. What was there to hang on to?
Nanami waved his hand in front of your face, “Are you with me?”
You blinked and looked up at him, “Yeah, is this just a den raid?”
Nanami put his guns in his shoulder holsters, lifting one arm and then the other to do so, “Yes. They’ve made themselves highly conspicuous on the strip.”
“Highly conspicuous like how?”
“The media is already beginning to suspect a serial killer.”
You nodded, “We’re gonna have to call clean up too aren’t we?”
Nanami tossed you what sufficed as a sympathetic look, “Yes we might.”
The cleaners were a group of people hired by the higher ups to dispose of the bodies when you and Nanami were done. It would be too convenient for vampires to turn to ash the way they did in movies. Someone had to collect the bodies so it wouldn’t catch the media’s attention. The cleaners were none too keen on vampires as a whole. They even had a certain amount of disdain for Nanami which was uncommon. Most people, especially those of the church held him in pretty high esteem. Of course not everyone knew he was half vampires. The cleaners could sniff it out. Maybe that’s why they were cleaners. They knew what bodies to burn and what bodies to find the next of kin for.
“It will be a relatively simple raid,” Nanami assured when your troubled expression didn’t go away.
“I’m sure,” you agreed.
“… If you’re worried about the cleaners, they won’t step out of line with me around-”
“I’m not worried about the cleaners. What will they do? Kill me?” You asked sardonically.
“You haven’t been yourself lately,” he observed as he shrugged on a suit jacket to cover his weapons. You worried the button of your long jacket that served the same purpose.
You smiled for his sake, “What do you mean?”
“You don’t come to my sermon, or pester me at Bible study…” he began.
You hadn’t felt like sitting through the word of God. With such a strong lead on Cordelius it seemed only natural that your own death be heavy on your mind. Vampires were damned beings. From the moment you were turned you had two choices: Spend eternity as a leech on mankind, or forfeit your life and spend eternity in hell. It didn’t seem fair. You did not ask for any of the things that happened to you, and for a long time you prayed for salvation. As far as young girls sold to feeders go… you got lucky. The vampire who had you first was only interested in your blood. He wasn’t interested in girls or women for that matter… in the few moments in which you could speak to the boys you knew their lives were different. They kept the two groups apart, virgins’ blood was better. He kept the girls for fine virgin blood, and the boys for errant pleasure drinking.
The last sermon of Nanami’s you sat in on, mostly because you liked the sound of his voice not because you found the words particularly compelling, he spoke of a benevolent, omnipotent, and omniscient God. It was too much for you. It could not be the truth. A benevolent God could not impose such suffering, to be benevolent He could not be all-powerful, or all seeing. Either he was good, but could not stop the suffering, or he was good and did not see the suffering. Then if He wasn’t benevolent, but instead both omnipotent and omniscient then what was the point of worship? What was the point of all of this if He were just another cruel force in the world? It was too much to think about and so you left, focused on chores in the convent, lied about attending meetings with Nanami for “private prayer” and that was that. The sisters thought you were troubled. The sisters were right.
“Not even you could warm my heart to the thought of God at the moment.”
He hummed, “So that is why you are scarce.”
“How do you reconcile the existence of evil with the presence of a benevolent God?”
“Balance,” he answered calmly before opening the gates.
“Balance?”
“It is a law of the world. Everything in the universe has an equal or an exact opposite. The world is a great balancing act.”
“So you believe in a greater good?”
“Mm, I believe in a greater neutral. Neither good nor bad, it is what it is.”
You opened your mouth to ask what he thought about you and your eventual death. Did he think your death would serve some great balance and which way would the scales tip? Surely it would be a win for good in his eyes. Nanami, for a reason he would not disclose, not that you asked him directly, but he had this evasive way of speaking that told you he would not share this information if he could help it. So in the end you elected not to say anything and to instead follow him out of the church gates and to the black sedan waiting for the two of you. You didn’t really want to hear him tell you that he thought it was for the best that an evil thing like you met its end.
Nanami was deeply put off by how quiet you were in the car. However, just when he was going to ask you what was wrong you started fiddling with the car radio. Nanami did not listen to much music, and any other time he’d bat your hand away from the knobs, but if it got you out of this weird, nearly depressive state, then he would bear whatever you decided to listen to. After a few minutes of searching through the radio stations you turned off the radio and turned your entire body to face him in your seat.
“Hey, can I ask you a personal question?”
‘You’re going to ask me no matter what I say.”
“How old are you?”
His eyebrows shot up a bit. He did not expect you to ask that, “27”
“Huh, okay you’re new to this immortality thing.”
“Yes.”
“Can I ask another personal question?”
“Sure,” he agreed easily enough, since your first question was tame.
“Are you a virgin?”
He gripped the steering wheel tightly as he grit his teeth, “I could swerve into oncoming traffic. What then?”
“Then you’d die a virgin.”
“I liked you better when you were silent.”
“I like you better when you’re shirtless but we can’t all have what we want, now can we?”
“I’ve got duct tape in the back,” he shrugged.
You gasped, “Kinky, for a virgin.”
Nanami turned on the radio and you laughed. He was easily upset in a benign way. He always got flustered with your flirting, and it kept your mind off of the philosophical musings of the afterlife. It didn’t really matter what was on the other side, you’d be meeting it soon.
You looked out the window taking in the city. City life didn’t appeal to you. You supposed that was because the most you knew about it was what you saw while you were out with either Cordelius or Lord Drakon before him. Drakon didn’t get out much, so it was the Viscount who paraded you around the nightlife. Vampires liked to show off their fancy trinkets, and procuring a girl from Lord Drakon was a big deal. He found the best of the best or so that’s what everyone always said. Still back then Cordelius had felt like a savior.
He didn’t feed from you at first. Instead the two of you talked. When he learned that you were well read (as one of Drakon’s favorites it was expected) he fed you more knowledge, telling you what he thought of the world. You could see his face so clearly in your mind’s eye. His wavy dark hair against alabaster skin, and the way his eyes shone like emeralds when he was talking about his passions. He was a renaissance man, literally, born in the 15th century. You thought there was no one in the world who knew more than him. And how could anyone use knowledge like that for evil.
Nanami parked in a narrow alley. You got out before him, taking a light breath to catch the scent of nearby vampires instead you fried food, and something sweet with it. You looked back, out of the alley, and gasped as you noticed there was a ferris wheel in the distance.
“A fair!” you gasped, “Nanami we should stop by and get a funnel cake after this.”
“No.”
“Come on! I bet there’s pretzels too. And they’ll be warm and hot, and salty,” you described in a sultry voice. Nanami just narrowed his eyes at you, no longer confident that you were only describing pretzels.
“Hedonistic she-devil.”
“Love it when you call me sweet names, father,” you giggled, lifting your chin to scent the vampires again. A vampire den was hard to miss. As you disregarded the smell of food in the air, you could catch the tale end of the sharpness that vampires but there couldn’t have been very many of them, and they must be pretty far away.
“You couldn’t have gotten any closer?” You complained.
Nanami frowned as he walked towards the steps of the “address” the higher ups gave him. It was and address of the building but the den was to be found around the back and down a set of stairs.
“It’s right here.” He pointed down the rest of the stairs and you stood at the top before taking a deep breath only to slap your hand over your nose.
“You don’t smell that. That does not smell like vampires.” You knew that Nanami’s sense of smell wasn’t as fine tuned as yours but the scent was still fine tuned. If your nose was like a Bloodhound then his was a respectable German Shepherd. He sniffed as well and his nose scrunched.
Nanami thought it was just city filth, but as he continued down the steps the smell only got stronger. He, of course, could identify the smell of vampires, but you were right. It seemed faint. Either way, he would have to check this place first since it was the address given. There was a basement unit with an unlit door. Vampires wouldn’t need the light, so there was no reason to have one. However the neons of the surrounding buildings added a little bit of light. Not much to be helpful to the human eye but it helped Nanami. Something was off about this place. He drew one of his guns as he approached the door and he heard you grab a silver pike.
There was music playing inside, a thumping bass, so loud he didn’t know how they could stand to be in the same room as it. He glanced back at you to signal his next move and you nodded, a sharp jerk of your head. He kicked in the door and sped through ready to shoot.
There were 5 bodies strewn about the front room. Intestines hanging about like a grotesque garland, blood splattered everywhere. It was as if some beast had torn through them all, taking at least two of them in its mouth before shaking its head the way dogs do. Some looked to have exploded from the inside out, putting blood and entrails on the ceiling. You cursed softly and then there was movement in the den. Both you and Nanami snapped to attention. Careful to step around the bodies as best as you could you followed him towards the sound. Beyond the front room there was a narrow hallway, where dark crimson streaks of blood littered the dingy white walls. Whatever beast that had been in here, it was big enough to take up the hallway. You could only imagine that the blood stains came from it rubbing its body against the doorway. The movement became steps, the click of claws on wood floors. As the two of you approached the first door you felt the hair on the back of your neck stand up. You grabbed Nanami by his collar and yanked him back as the beast suddenly burst out of the first room, sending specks of wood and dry wall your way as its massive shoulders went through the doorway and a bit of the wall surrounding it. Nanami fired at it while still in motion, burying a silver bullet in its body. The things shrieked a sound that rattled your ear drums. You felt Nanami stumbled as if his knees were suddenly weak.
The beast had gray skin that was nearly translucent. You could make out every blue bulging vein in its body. Its upper body was wide with rippling muscles and huge arms that gave way to big clawed hands. However it stood hunched in on itself with a pinched waist that jutted out against grotesquely muscled legs with clawed feet. The thing was upsetting just to look at.
“Come… here,” it croaked at the two of you. Nanami’s collar was still in your hand so you felt him pitch forward towards the monster, and you yanked him back in surprise.
“Come… HERE,” It insisted and you had to pull Nanami back again, getting in front of him to stare into the monster’s eyes. They were milky white, and perhaps they were glowing. You couldn’t tell. Their eyes peeked out from stringy blood soaked hair. Their face was almost human looking, but they were missing the outer parts of their nose. It was just a triangle shaped hole in their face with the wet glistening glands of their olfactory system bare for all the world to see. Their lips could not contain their teeth, and so the marred, hissing nature of the voice you heard made sense. You stared at their pointed teeth and spade tongue in true confusion. You’d never seen anything like this before. The longer you looked at it, the more it made your skin crawl. You snatched one of Nanami’s guns and fired right into its face causing another screech, then a thud as Nanami fell to the ground. You glanced at him, and felt something like a battering ram smash into your side. You went through the flimsy drywall and into a brick outer wall. When you hit the floor you barely had a chance to right yourself as you looked up to see the beast going for Nanami again. With that you dashed between them, blocking the strike with all of your strength. And then putting your foot in its chest before kicking it down the length of the hallway.
“Nanami, knows not the time for a nap,” you said, keeping your eye on the beast.
“It’s… voice,” he said in a sort of dazed tone.
“Plug your ears or something!” you snapped at him as you watched the beast get back up. It charged at you and you got your silver pikes ready before charging as well. You weren’t even sure if stabbing this thing through the heart would do it. Either way, Nanami was right behind you to follow up your attack. The beast was strong, every swing you failed to block hit you like a truck, and you had to fight through the pain of bones resetting themselves and cuts healing as quickly as you got them. You were glad that you chose to feed before the mission.
Before long it became obvious to you that its main goal was Nanami. Even when you were the biggest threat, it sacrificed itself for a chance to snap at him. You did your best to leverage this advantage, and with the two of you fighting it, it had no chance to speak, though you could tell the mere sound of its voice, even when crying out in pain, had an effect on Nanami. You did your best to fight off heavy handed blows, but it found a good opening to take a snap at him and the best you could do was jump in front of it. It’s needle-like teeth pierced through your body like butter. One of your arms was in its mouth and you pushed up through its hard palate, snapping the sheet of bone. It released you, but you weren’t done.
Nanami watched, rooted in place for just a moment after the beast bit into your body. It let you go, and black blood poured out of its mouth. You growled as your body gave its all to end the fight. He watched you tackle the thing down, wrestling with it for a moment. And when it tried to bite you again you hooked your hands into its mouth and started opening it. The wailing of the beast rang through his head, blurring his vision, but he could see you prying open the beast’s jaws until bones began to snap and crack. You weren’t satisfied until you’d practically turned the beast’s head inside out, and then when it fell you stomped on the remains to be sure it didn’t get up. His vision cleared when it stopped wailing, and you were simply tearing at a lifeless body.
He called your name and you stopped stomping on the corpse. You turned towards him. The whites of your eyes were blood red, and your dark irises seemed abysmal. Your fangs had dropped, sharp points pressing against your bottom lip. As you looked at him you swayed unsteadily, and he hurried forward to catch you as you tipped forward. He heard you wretch and then blood splashed on the floor. This wasn’t good.
He cradled you in his arms so that he could see your face. Your skin had taken on a sort of gray undertone, like a wilting rose. You looked up at him and your face twitched into a little smile.
“Sorry to… skip, out of our- our deal early,” you wheezed, and he could hear the rattling of what had to be blood filling your lungs.
“You’re not dying,” he said firmly, looking you over. But your blood was already saturating his clothing.
“Hate to call you a… liar, father but,” you coughed and more blood gurgled up from your throat. He turned you on your side so that it could pour out of your mouth. His mind was racing. You wouldn’t last the drive back to the parish, and there was no place to get animal blood nearby. To be honest, he wasn’t sure animal blood would save you. It worked too slowly. Your heart would give out before it had the chance to work. There was still so much more to do.
“Will you pray for me? It prob- won’t hel-” you cut off as the rattling in your chest came back and you were retching up blood again. You didn’t have long.
You thought you might cry in the end. You certainly felt sad enough to cry, but also… you were happy that maybe your death did maintain some balance. Surely the world losing someone like Nanami would have offset the balance. He was surly, and could come off mean but you knew he had a good heart. He cared about people even if he couldn’t connect with them. Maybe there was a great neutral, a balance that a god maintained. Bad things happened because they must. Not because the divine willed it. In the end you had so many things left to say. When you thought Nanami would kill you himself you thought you’d get a chance to apologize for teasing him so much. You were annoying on purpose most of the time. It was for your own amusement and you knew it annoyed him. Some small part of you also wanted to protect yourself from ever thinking that he cared about you. His constant rebuffs kept your own heart in check. It was a defense mechanism. You thought you’d have time to properly repent, maybe get some holy oil in on the action. It probably wouldn’t have worked anyway. This was as good a death as any you supposed.
You closed your eyes because it became too hard to keep them open. You could feel a sort of pull, like your entire being was being sucked out through a straw. The end was beginning to feel peaceful, like you were floating down a river, letting the water take you wherever it wished. Just as you felt the last of you begin to surrender to the pull, there was a warm scent in the endless darkness, truly mouthwatering. Darkness became red, blood red, and pure euphoria slipped through your being. For one wild moment, you wondered if this might be heaven after all. Then the ache set in. That special ache of healing, of wounds closing and bones resetting. It hurt to become whole, but the saccharine flow of warmth against your mouth made it just another pleasurable sensation. It was oil slick and wet… blood. A quiet breathy moan made your eyes snap open. You felt something squeeze your body as you opened your eyes. There was just the blood splattered ceiling in your sight at first. Drops of red and black blood decorated the white smooth dry wall. And then you heard that moan again, followed by warmth against your cheek. It was only then that you fully realized something was in your mouth.
Nanami had his wrist pressed against your mouth. His other arm was wrapped around you, pulling you tight against his body, and pinning your arms to your sides in the process. He was trying to keep you from holding on to his wrist, but the added closeness was grounding in a small way. Feeding was euphoric for both the party feeding and the one being fed from. It served two purposes, to keep the prey in place, and to elevate heart rate in the prey to increase blood flow. He grit his teeth against the pleasurable sensations as he pressed his face against your shoulder to help stifle the breathless gasps he couldn’t control. They came as a byproduct of him holding his breath to keep the lustful sounds of pleasure from escaping him. He’d never felt anything like this before, even when he had known his own touch, there was no greater pleasure than the feeling of your tongue against his wrist. Still he fought to get his wits about him. Hereadied the bit to replace his wrist with when he took it away.
He just needed you well enough to sleep this off. He wouldn’t survive the task of fully healing you. Even know his hand was cold and tingling from lack of blood flow. The soft needy sounds you made as you drank made it hard to pull away, but vampires were beguiling creatures and it was only natural to want to give one what she wanted. He pulled his wrist away and shoved the wrapped leather hilt of his silver dagger between your jaws as you surged up to chase his arm.
“Look at me,” he said softly, lifting his head so that your eyes met, “I’m taking you back to the church. Control yourself.” You fought against his hold on you, eyes still vacant with bloodlust. He had to change his hold on you as the blood metabolized and you gained strength back. He managed to get you in a nelson hold and he wrapped his legs around you so that you couldn’t continue to fight him. It was just another minute before you stopped fighting him all together. He didn’t let you go immediately, worried that it was just a decoy. Then he heard your breathing change. It was no longer ravenous and bloodthirsty, instead it was hitched and uneven: You were crying.
“Why?” you asked, “Why’d you bring me back?”
“We have a deal,” he responded before slowly letting you go.
If he was perturbed by your quiet on the way to the hunt, then the absolute silence was hair raising. You stared out of the window most of the time without acknowledging him. At first he wished you would speak, but after a while he realized that he had his own thoughts to make sense of. Retroactively, he could say that there was too much left to learn about this beast, and why its voice did not affect you. There were too many unanswered questions about you, about the viscount, everything. But he knew that any other hunter tasked with keeping you as an… assistant of sorts, would have let you die. Gojo certainly would have, not out of coldness but because the alternative of feeding you was… perhaps morally bereft. He wasn’t sure yet. But he just couldn’t let you die that way.
When you two got to the parish he opened the church gate for you and you hesitated. You wondered if you would burst into flames on hallowed ground now. You had fed from someone. If that was the only thing keeping you alive then that was over. What did it matter though? You asked yourself and you stepped past the gate and there was nothing. Maybe Nanami wasn’t human enough. Maybe it had nothing to do with feeding. Without saying a word you began to walk towards the convent.
Nanami called you and you turned, eyes still staring at your feet, “You need blood.”
You shook your head, “I’ll sleep it off.”
“The sisters… you’ve tasted blood now and-”
“You’re afraid for the sisters…” you said softly, “Do you want me in the church basement then?”
“You could take my room.”
You felt your face go hot, which was only possible because of the fresh supply of blood you had, “Um… I’ll go to the basement,” you chose speeding towards the back of the church. You could barely stand to look at him. Repeat feeding created near unbreakable bonds between vampire and consort. It’s why it was such a big deal to have a collection, many were devoted to their master you… never were.
You thought of this as you opened the church cellar doors. The cellar was a pretty normal place, old, a little leaky, but it did have a bed, a desk and a few other comfort things leftover from when you first came here. Nanami was still wary of you despite having taken on this task of making you something like an assistant. You spent a long time in the secluded room of the cellar. There were no windows, so you would have no idea when it was time for you to get up. This place reminded you a lot of the rooms in Lord Drakon’s castle.
Lord Drakon tried to make a bond with you, through routine feeding, and gifts. He didn’t like to have to chain and leash his feeders, but he did. Especially the ones who were not yet broken. He couldn’t trust you not to look for a way out, which was smart because you would have. Similarly, the viscount tried to bond with you as well. He didn’t feed with you immediately, instead he gave you a new room in his castle, a big one, the kind the princesses had in fairytales. He spoiled you with gifts: jewelry, books, food, dresses, anything your heart could desire. And instead of taking your blood he was charming, utterly beguiling, coaxing you to him with honeyed words of a new world in which smart young humans like you would be safe. He said it sickened him the way that his counterparts kept humans like cattle. He himself had two other consorts, all with big rooms and pretty clothes, all utterly devoted to him. You never felt the spark of connection that the other women described, how they said their hearts beat for him.
This wasn’t the same, you were the one doing the feeding, but for a moment as you drank, you felt a kind of oneness that you’d never felt before. It was… satisfying, like threading or needle or seamlessly weaving through lanes. Everything was sharpened to a point, on fine point of absolute pleasure, a perfect feedback loop of delight. You understood what both vampires had been looking for in you. It was a full body experience. You were grateful that the blood on your body made it impossible to discern whether arousal made your thighs slick or if it was the fault of the wet fabric of your clothing that caused the wetness. At any rate you were grateful to get into a shower. The water ran pink for a very long time and you stood there remembering the soul deep pleasure of feeding. How were you going to go back to animal blood when you tasted that, how were you going to face Nanami? You didn’t want to see him the way that vampires saw you. You were just a sweet snack, something to drink when they felt peckish, or pleasure when they were bored. Nanami was… well he wasn’t your friend you didn’t think he would care to be called that but he was more than just blood. That was the problem with vampires, why you despised them so much. Everything was just blood to them.
You slept through the day. Sleep helped you recover what blood didn’t. Even when you were rested you didn’t dare leave the cellar. It was safer that way. What if you did have a new insatiable craving for the blood of the living? You didn’t want to go out that way, after terrorizing the people of this church. You slept for most of the time, and when you weren’t sleeping you were lost in thought.
Nanami came to check on you on the second day without seeing you. He had food. You didn’t need to eat but he knew you liked to. He called to you as he walked down the cellar steps. You answered, though your voice was quiet and monotone. He found you curled up on the bed with your back facing the door.
“Are you alright?”
“Fine.” you answered.
“You haven’t been out of the cellar,” he remarked.
“I thought we were afraid that you’d turned me into a blood thirsty monster.”
He took a deep breath, “Well, I’m still standing so I don’t know how blood thirsty you could possibly be.”
He had a point, you hadn’t even considered ceasing breathing. His scent was slowly saturating the room and besides thinking that he smelled nice, you were no more enticed to sink your teeth into him than you ever were. Additionally, there was a secondary smell that was far more mouthwatering. You sat up slowly, avoiding eye contact with Nanami. You noticed a styrofoam container in his hand and eyed it curiously.
“What’s that?”
“Well, it’s a funnel cake, but I guess I’ll eat it myself. Bloodthirsty monsters don’t tend to be into that kind of thing.”
You scowled, “You don’t even like sweets.” You went to grab the container but he pulled it out of reach. You went to glare at him and found him smirking down at you. The mere sight of his face especially after having seen him in the grips of such euphoria that only a vampire could bring was too much for you. You felt your face flush just a little, and you turned away.
“Fine, I hope you get powdered sugar all over your robes,” you grumbled.
Nanami frowned. He’d never seen you get bashful. He was accustomed to your brazen personality. To be fair, he had been the slightest bit… nervous about seeing you but he knew it was just the worry that he had in fact made you bloodthirsty. Or at the very least that’s what he insisted to himself. He gave you the container and you took it without looking at him.
You looked much better than when he last saw you. Of course your skin always had color but there was a bright undertone in your skin that faded when you were wounded. Sleep had done you well.
“Cleaners picked up the beast. They are calling it a ghoul,” he said, “They think it used to be human.”
You frowned. That thing used to be human, that transformation must have been agonizing. You wanted to kick yourself for feeling such strong sympathy for the thing that would have killed you if Nanami hadn’t given you his blood.
“The running theory is that it was responsible for the gruesome deaths. Which makes more sense. That den of vampires had been there for decades. They never caused so much trouble before.”
“Wait, you all knew about them… and you just let them stay there.”
“They were a… special case. Vampire hierarchies are quite delicate. Sense they are immortal, the positions they hold in their own society cannot easily find replacement. Which leads to fierce loyalty among those who know them.”
“The church didn’t want to provoke a large-scale attack?”
“Precisely. It was better to just keep an eye on them. Few vampires kill humans these days, they can survive without taking all of a donor’s blood.”
You snorted, “Donor. Don’t make it sound so noble.”
“Many humans consent.”
“And the ones who don’t?” You turned a sharp glare to him.
His shoulders sagged a bit with his sigh, “There are not enough hunters to go after every coven. They sent me for this one because I work with you. It would have been… steep to do alone.”
“You could have done it.”
“I would have left down more than a pint of blood. If I was fighting the coven that is. Against that beast I would have been killed.”
You frowned again and chose not to say anything else to him. At your silence he continued the conversation himself, though he was not used to carrying the conversation when it was you he was talking to.
“Gojo called this morning to say that the castle in Wales is empty. It’s possible that Cordelius moved upon learning the fate of Tara Lydos. He’s gathering information before he comes back. He wants to see the ghoul carcass himself.
“It’s a good thing you didn’t let me die then, huh,” you mused, but you did not sound as if you thought it was a good thing.
“I think so, but you don’t seem to. What is your aversion to living as you are? You don’t drink human, so you’re not a leech on humanity, and you’ve never killed a human so you are not a murderer.”
“It’s all blood with vampires, everything, all of it. I am constantly aware of the need to have it, get more of it. I choose not to let those thoughts consume me. And I have been on the other end of just being blood. I don’t want to do that to people. I don’t want to be like that.”
“Is that how you see me now? Just a talking blood bag?”
You huffed, “No, obviously not you’re my… You’re you,” you said because you still couldn’t call him a friend. He was just the only person you had such constant contact with. Things were weird now.
“Good. You’re alive because we have unfinished business. Sorry, but you won’t be skipping out of our deal.”
“Do you think I smell exceptional, Father Nanami?” you asked as you sat beside him on one of the pews. You expected him to dismiss you with a curt ‘no’ and be done with it, instead he leaned into you, putting his nose very nearly on your neck. A pulse of heat singed through your body in one hot flash.
“Yes,” he answered, “But it is not as Tara described for me. I can only assume that is because I am only half vampire.”
You cleared your throat, “I wasn’t aware that I smelled different from any other vampire.”
“Vampire scents often lack subtlety. They are designed to draw in humans after all, and human olfaction is much weaker than ours.”
You brought your wrist up to smell yourself and then you moved higher, trying to catch the scent that everyone was talking about, “You’re saying it’s a subtle smell.”
“Its appeal is subtle. It is quite nice though. I wonder if Cordelius knew this would happen when he changed you.”
“I don’t know. To be honest, when he plucked me from my room that night and started talking about me being his favorite I figured he was going to finally drain me dry. Didn’t expect the uh… ritual.” You didn’t like to talk about the ritual. As far as Nanami was aware you didn’t remember it. It was common to experience amnesia after changing. Many new vampires forgot their humanity entirely. You just weren’t one of them. You remembered it all too well. At that thought you wrapped your arms around your body.
Nanami noticed the way you shrunk in on yourself. He had asked you in the beginning what you remembered about the ritual, back when he thought meeting you would be as simple as asking his questions then putting a stake through your heart. You gave him small details, a chalice mixed with unknown powders, you were bound, but there were other things he wanted to know about now. He didn’t know how important the exact nature of your transformation would be. When he asked later you lied, though he could discern that it was not from any desire to protect Cordelius. Obviously, being turned against your will was deeply traumatic, and he could only guess that being changed by something that kept you captive your whole life and becoming the very thing you hated was traumatic as well. You made a deal for death, so he chose not to pry. In time you would tell him, or if he knew for sure that it would be helpful in his quest to locate Cordelius then he would ask. As it was, he was just curious if the ritual was to blame for your immunity to holy items and the sun. He wouldn’t press the issue for his own curiosity alone.
“ I put in a request for a… colleague to look into Cordelius in Wales.”
“Oh? Another half vampire.”
“No, a hunter. Perhaps the best there is.”
“Wow, friends in high places. You’ve got Hellsing on speed dial,” You said in jest speaking of the man that was more myth than reality. You could never be completely certain if he had once existed and died, or if he did exist and was still around, or if he was purely a thing of legend.
“Better than Hellsing… and worse. I’m sure he will come by soon for a direct debriefing. You should stay out of his sight. He might not be so forgiving of your nature.
“Or I could be right in his sight and skip out of our deal early.
“Or that,” he sighed, “Is that truly what you desire?”
You thought he might chastise you about going against your word, or be even a little annoyed with you, but he just seemed resigned. Nanami was always surprising you. Whenever you thought you had him figured out he did something that you just couldn’t understand.
“Well I’m still alive to help you find Cordelius. If he’s in Wales…”
“We should be sure he’s in Wales first,” Nanami said evenly.
“And if he is, that will be the end of me. That’s our deal. I have no desire to continue living like a leech. The peace of death is all I can hope to look forward to.”
Nanami searched your face for a moment, but you couldn’t make sense of his expression. On the surface it was quite neutral but it was the way that his gaze lingered that hinted at something deeper underneath it all.
“Don’t get soft on me now,” you said with a little laugh, “I can be more annoying if that will make it easier for you.”
“Trust me, you do not need to be more annoying.”
“You sure? Because I could explain in graphic detail how we could have some fun with the altar candles.”
He hummed, “You know, maybe you should greet the hunter first. I think you’d find him far more tolerant of your flirtations,” he said, standing up to leave you. Your laughter echoed after him as he walked down the aisle between the pew to go find something else to do. He simply shook his head at your antics.
It was two days of the usual nights filled with researching vampirism or grueling training with Nanami. It seemed he had it out for you after he took a knife to the side in your defense. He was still a better fighter than you. You might have the lionshare of strength as a full-blooded vampire but he had you out maneuvered and out witted. It also didn’t help that he always trained in a tight black t-shirt that showed off just how built he was under those priestly robes. It was hard to believe he could be allowed on hallowed ground. The sight of his body was sinful. His shoulder to waist ratio really did things to your brain, or maybe it was the impact of hitting the hard packed dirt outside that made Nanami look especially heavenly standing over you with a wooden stake in hand.
“Are you even trying?” he asked in a bored tone.
Instead of answering you let your muscles tense before you sprung up at him, batting the stake out of the way though he did not lose his grip on it. The force of your body weight crashing into him made him stumble backwards but he eventually regained his footing, and you felt the stake press against your back. You were wrapped around his torso, poised to rip out his throat.
“I would have already ripped out your throat by now.”
“A vampire would not have stumbled. You’d be dead,” he assured you, pressing the stake into your back a bit more firmly.
“But I’m fighting you. And you’d be dead if I had a mind to kill you.”
“In the field you won’t be fighting me. You’ll be fighting full blooded vampires. They are stronger than us both, you know?”
“Sure but I won this match,” you insisted.
“No, you would be dead.”
“Nanami,” you complained, leaning back to look at him. Which made you wrap your arms around his shoulders to stay up there like that. You paused in what you were going to say and focused on just how firm and broad his shoulders were.
“Get. Off.” he said precisely and you did as he requested with a small smile.
“Tie breaker,” you offered, getting back into a ready to fight position.
“It was not a tie,” he answered but prepared to fight again as well. In about two minutes he had pinned a hand carefully on your throat but jammed up so that his thumb pressed against one side of your jaw and his forefinger pressed against the other. It made it difficult and painful to open your mouth. The stake was pressed right between your breasts.
“You would be dead,” he said, loosening his grip on your neck.
“But what a charmed way to go,” you breathed, before batting the stake away again for another skirmish. It didn’t last long before your back hit the ground again, hard. You wheezed as you tried to recall the breath he knocked out of you. He had both of your hands in one of his, and before he could bring the stake down, you spread your arms wide and lifted your hips in one hard motion making his gravity tip forward, and as he nearly fell you rolled him over on his back with another hard tily of your hips.
You wound up straddling his waist with the stake still in his hand but the pointed end was against his chest, “I win.”
He stared up at you with a slightly annoyed expression. You leaned in a little to gloat, pressing the sharp point of the stake against him just a bit.
“You know you’re real handsome on your back, Father.”
He got out of your hold with an embarrassing lack of effort and you found yourself on your back again with his forearm against your throat. He glared down at you with indifferent dark eyes.
“You’re not even trying.”
“Oh I’m trying alright,” you murmured, thinking about how this was probably the closest you were going to get to any type of action before you died. What a pity. If you knew staying alive was a vow of chastity you would have insisted that he killed you when he found you.
“You are honestly trying to win?”
“No. I am trying to see how many positions I can get you in.”
“I’m looking forward to the day I drive a stake through your heart.”
“I’m looking forward to the day you shove that long hard- ow!” you complained as he hit you in the arm with the stake. He got up with a world weary sigh and he reminded you of the time that the hunter would be in the church so you could make yourself scarce.
On the day that the hunter was supposed to be in the parish you found tedious chores to do in the convent. Something that would prevent the other sisters from asking you to go to the church with them. Dusting was a task most of the other sisters hated but you didn’t mind it. It gave you a chance to take in the old architecture. You didn’t have much time for dawdling. You usually slept through most of the day when everyone else had their free time to do as they pleased. Waking up in the middle of the day put you right in the hustle and bustle of things. You’d do anything to stay out of the kitchen with Sister Lori.
You were washing the windows when a shock of white hair caught your eye across the courtyard. Even from far away you could make out his form in excruciating detail. He had circular sunglasses covering his eyes, and he wore an all black suit which only exacerbated his paleness and the way he stood out. As he walked he stopped suddenly and turned to look right at you. Or at least it felt like he was looking right at you, but no human could have seen you this far off and yet it made the hair on the back of your neck stand up because you just knew he was seeing you.
“Sister,” one of the other nuns called and you startled so badly you nearly fell off the ladder. She seized the wobbling thing to keep it from falling, “So sorry!” she called out, “You don’t usually startle so easily. Father Nanami has called for you.”
You nodded before looking back at the window to find the man was gone, and nowhere to be found in the immediate vicinity. You climbed down from the ladder. The grounds were pretty empty, and you walked towards the east wing of the church where his office was. However as you walked along the stone path you caught the scent of blood in the air. Your bodily reaction was to be expected. Your mouth watered and your muscles tensed, body ready to spring into action for the easy prey that must be in the vicinity. However, your mind was alarmed by the idea that someone was injured at the church. You lifted your chin to put your nose in the air and catch the scent to find the wounded person. You stepped off the path and towards the woods surrounding the parish. As the scent grew stronger you called out.
“Hello! Is someone out here? Do you need help?” you called but received no answer. Perhaps they passed out. You kept talking as you got closer, not wanting to scare the person if they were wounded, granted you were dressed as a nun and people didn’t often find nuns scary… well unless they were raised in catholic school but even then, the fear was not of mortal danger.
You did not expect to see the hunter from before. He was sitting on a fallen tree with his legs crossed. One of his hands was bleeding, the other hand was twirling a silver stake. All your muscles locked down.
“There’s an imposter in the church,” he mused with a smile.
“You… don’t look like you need help. So, I’ll just be going,” you took a normal step backwards, before letting the full strength of your muscles send you speeding like a bullet back towards the church.
You made it out of the trees before a force like a wrecking ball slammed into you. You lost your footing and fell with a hard thud.
“You know, most hunters approach their prey quietly. What was your plan, to lure the bleeding victim to you? They would have already been injured,” the man mused as he walked towards you leisurely. You scrambled on your feet again, and turned to look at him. Blood was still running down his hand, but as he got closer you realized the smell was a little off. Not like Nanami whose smell was uniquely non-human but extremely appetizing. This man’s blood felt like the equivalent of the smell of cooking peppers. From far away it was intriguing, maybe even appetizing, but as he kept closing the distance between the two of you, it began to burn your nose, and you almost felt like sneezing. It was an overwhelming scent and everything about it made you feel like you should be running again.
“I thought there was someone in need. That is all.”
“Is that so, bloodsucker? Tell me, how do you stand on hallowed ground?”
“I am going to meet with Father Nanami now, you can hear an explanation from him, I am sure you’ll believe it more from his mouth.”
He laughed and then rushed you. You had enough time to focus on defense, blocking the rapid fire blows that came, and carefully avoiding the stake in his hand. Whatever this man was, he wasn’t human.
“Oh, you might actually take some effort,” he laughed, pausing his attack. He looked at you with piercing blue eyes over his glasses, tossed the stake up to change his hold and in the blink of an eye he was on top of you. The sensation of hitting the ground came a second later and you cried out as the force of it broke bones. Still you grappled with him, diverting his momentum, because stopping him seemed impossible. The stake stabbed into the ground beside your head.
“Gojo!” Nanami’s voice barked out, far louder and angrier than you’d ever heard him sound. You lost focus for a second and the sharp point of the stake was coming right at you. You had no choice but to grab his wrist, slowing down his attack but not stopping it. You growled with the effort it took to hold his wrist back.
“Gojo, she is not an enemy. She is helping me find Cordelius!”
Gojo, who had been smiling down at you gleefully with murder in his eyes, changed his attention from you to Nanami and you took that chance to shove him off of you. You pushed yourself up and behind Nanami, only to tip forward the moment you were still. Nanami caught you, pulling you into his side.
“Nanamin,” Gojo gasped, “Consorting with the enemy. I never expected something so… exciting from you.”
“We can have this discussion in my office. Away from prying eyes.”
While the idea of that sounded phenomenal, you were not able to move on your own. The ribs broken from the impact of your body hitting the ground at speeds you couldn’t fathom was so bad you weren’t even standing. Nanami was holding the full weight of your body.
“This has to be a good story,” Gojo laughed, “Come on let’s go!” He breezed past the two of you.
“What the fuck?” you wheezed.
“I thought he was already gone. He doesn’t usually stick around the parish,” Nanami said to you, before picking you up, “Close your eyes, they’ve turned.”
You did as he said. and he noticed the smell of your blood. The black fabric of your robes was beginning to stick to your body. Your heart was beating far faster than it ever did, but faster still was his own heart. There was nothing he really could have done, physically, to stop your execution. Gojo was the strongest vampire hunter there was, and if he was set on killing you, you would be dead. Though he was impressed you were able to stay his hand at all. The sclera of your eyes were blood red though, a clear indicator that it had taken everything you had to stay his hand for just a moment.
“What is he?” you demanded.
“Nephilim.”
“Half angel?” you asked for clarification.
“The only one left alive,” Nanami confirmed.
“Fuck,” you complained.
“I’ve got blood in the office.”
“Please tell me it’s not deer’s blood. It fucks with my stomach and I’ll be in the bathroom for the rest of the day.”
Nanami snorted, “No, pig actually.”
“Oh, fancy.”
“Type O as well.”
“You’re spoiling me, Father. I might get the wrong idea and start thinking that you like me.”
He chuckled and a ghost of a smile tugged on his lips. Once in his office, he laid you on the leather chaise lounge before going over to his desk for a key to the cabinet where he stored blood. Gojo took a seat in one of the chairs in front of Nanami’s desk, making his curiosity about you known as he continued to stare at you with his strange eyes.
“So you two play priest and nun for… fun?” he asked as Nanami closed the fridge inside of the cabinet.
“I’m not playing priest. I am a priest… she is playing nun though. I don’t think she meets the qualifications to make her vows.”
“I think I could qualify as a born again virgin at this point,” you said.
“Your virginity, or lack thereof, has nothing to do with it. The way you act in confession is reason enough for you to never be approved.”
“I thought those things were confidential.”
“So what’s the story behind having a vampire in the convent?” Gojo asked impatiently.
Nanami gave you a chalice of blood before sitting in his desk chair. He took a deep breath before telling Gojo about how he found you. You knew that story so you didn’t pay much attention to it.
“And you didn’t kill her immediately?” Gojo said, “That’s not like you, Nanamin.”
“She’s innocent, she’s never taken a human life.”
“How do you know?” Gojo asked.
Nanami frowned, “I know when people are lying to me.”
“Yes, I know about your little affinity. But how do you know she hasn’t killed anyone since. Do you ask daily? Weekly?”
Nanami’s frown deepened but he turned to you while you were busy drinking, “Have you ever killed a human being?”
You licked the blood off your lips before answering, “No.”
Nanami turned back to Gojo, “She’s never killed anyone before, and she’s not asking for indefinite protection from me or the church. She didn’t ask for protection at all.”
Gojo cocked his head to the side, “What did she ask for?”
“She asked me to kill her. In fact, she thought that stepping on hallowed ground would do that.”
“Well it should have. So should the sun… now that I’m thinking about it.”
“Which is yet another reason I hesitated in killing her, the main reason though is her connection to Alexi Cordelius.”
“If he’s looking for her, why not just tell him where to find her? He’ll come to you.”
“It’s as I told you before, I don’t know his endgame so it seems ill-advised to go in blindly. Plus, with the added knowledge that he is looking for her, it begs the question why.”
“Why would Cordelius be looking for you?” Gojo asked you. You were slightly surprised that he was addressing you directly. He’d seemed so content talking about you like you weren’t in the room.
“I ran away from him right after my transformation was complete. I can only assume he wants me back in the collection.”
“And how did you come to know Cordelius?”
“I was sold to him as a feeder.”
“You do smell quite nice for a vampire,” Gojo murmured, “But why would he turn a feeder? That seems wasteful.” He posed this question to Nanami, not you which was fine because you didn’t have an answer.
“I can’t think of anything more than he really liked her smell and wanted to keep it forever. She had an almost… intoxicating effect on the vampire Tara Lydos who gave us the information on where to find Cordelius.”
“Circling back to something,” Gojo turned his attention back to you, “if you wanted to die, why not let me kill you? You’d have gotten your side of the bargain.”
“I gave Nanami my word that I would stick around until you all got Cordelius. I try to keep my word.”
Gojo just scoffed, “Are you prepared to kill her when I find him, Nanamin?”
“That is our agreement,” Nanami nodded.
“Cool,” Gojo shrugged, leaning back in his chair without a care in the world.
“That’s all you have to say?”
“Yep.”
“… Alright well, you can go check the given location for Cordelius.”
“And when he’s there, you can drive a stake through that one’s heart,” Gojo pointed at you jovially.
“Right…?” Nanami agreed, appearing confused. Gojo laughed before standing and leaving without a second glance at you. You watched him go before relaxing against the chaise lounge again. You groaned, setting the empty chalice on the floor. Your body had mostly mended, but it was still incredibly painful to even breathe. You heard Nanami coming closer, but didn’t bother to move. Everything hurt too badly.
“How are you?” he asked, placing a hand on your shoulder.
“Feels like I got hit by a bus.”
“I’m upset with you, you know?” he said, though there was a peculiar ring of amusement in his tone. It made you turn to look at him. His eyes, brown like bourbon, met yours and he smiled just a bit.
“You have been holding out on me when we spar.”
“I was fighting for my life, Nanami,” you responded.
“Which is how you should always fight.”
“But I might hurt you,” you threw back.
He tilted his head, “And I would heal.”
He was right but the idea of it still made you deeply uncomfortable. Again, you remembered the first time you realized the effect that Nanami’s blood could have on you. After what you did you locked yourself up in your room for days. He did not call for you to leave so you could only guess that he was a bit cross with you as well. After a week when you could stand to face him, he just wordlessly started helping you build a tolerance to seeing his blood and smelling it. You didn’t want to hurt Nanami. He was doing something good. He was ridding the world of vampires, and it would be such a horrible thing for the one he trusted, the one he thought was innocent, to be the one to kill him. You knew that there was a good portion of the higher ups who were waiting for it to happen, or for you to mess up and kill a human. He’d put his neck out for you and you didn’t want to make him look like a fool… even though you didn’t ask for any of this.
“I’d rather not hurt you at all. Besides, if I win every match, how am I gonna get you on top of me,” you flirted, knowing it would make him drop the subject.
He rolled his eyes at you standing to his full height, “Get out.”
Chapter 1 Summary: You follow your first lead on the Viscount Alexi Cordelius: A vampire named Tara Lydos whose coven resides in nightclub used to lure unsuspecting humans in for trade as feeders. You an Nanami go in to get information.
Warnings: talk of death, blood, some gore… but no worse than canon
A/N: Don’t get use to double uploads. Since the first post was just the preface I wanted to give y’all the actualfirst chapter
You opened up the door to the confessional and stepped in with a sly smile on your face. You sat down, smoothing the skirt of your robes down as you sat. “Father, are you there?” you asked, looking towards the grate beside you. Your sight was great in low light, so you could see the familiar profile of his face. His strong jaw and perfectly straight nose was a dead give away. Plus when you spoke he let out a long suffering sigh.
“Yes, Y/N,” he droned, voice void of any and all emotion.
You giggled, “Good. I’ve been having lecherous thoughts again, Father.”
“I should have killed you when I had the chance.”
“Guess you didn’t expect to be stuck with me for two years,” you laughed quietly, “I’m still hoping you’ll lose it one day and stake me.”
“Not until we find the Viscount. Then it will be my utmost pleasure.”
“Yeah? You looking forward to penetrating me, Father?” you purred leaning against the wall that separated the two of you.
“My directions are to continue your nightly prayers, beg God for forgiveness and perhaps a more tolerable personality.”
You clicked your tongue, “I thought we were all made perfectly in His image.”
“Not you. You are an annoying bloodsucking leech.”
“I drink blood, I don’t suck it. But I could-”
“Get out,” he cut you off and you pressed a hand over your mouth to keep from laughing too loudly.
“We are still meeting at the front gates at midnight, right?” you asked.
“Yes, one of the younger priests will look after the church. You will be on your best behavior tonight.”
“Oh, I’ll be real good for you, Father.”
He sighed again, “Get out of here. Now.”
You pressed your lips together before getting up and leaving the confessional booth. You smoothed out the robes of your habit and moved on to continue your duties in the church. When you agreed to stick around in order to kill the Viscount you never expected to have to pose as a nun. You were the least holy woman ever. It seemed blasphemous to make you wear the habit. You were pretty sure the younger priests were having a hard time with their vows based upon looking at you. Even with the robe jumbling your form, your face was pretty enough to carry you through life. When you were feeling bored, you’d smile and bat your eyes at them, just to see them fumble. Some of the sisters were the same way. You had your eye on one, who maintained that gay women were perhaps God’s holiest creatures. Did you follow her logic at all? No, she was probably just under the weight of some crazy religious guilt, but you were interested in how far she wanted to go to prove her theories. This church was weird. To be fair, there was no shortage of weird churches in a world where vampires existed. One of the first things many vampires did, upon the dawn of the modern age, was corrupt churches. They changed scripture, skewed ideals, turned the abrahamic religions against each other. There were very few truly holy churches, and this was one of them.
Nanami had explained that even though it appeared Catholic it was technically agnostic because the larger organization of the Catholic church did not recognize them. Their own ideologies differ too greatly. Which was to be expected, considering the state of churches these days.
“You are on truly hallowed ground, so please do your best not to desecrate it.”
You frowned, “I was under Sister Megan’s skirt last week.”
Nanami breathed sharply through his nose, “Sexuality does not affect the church. I’m not going to tell you how to do it, because I’m confident you would start seeking out an opportunity to ruin everything.”
Life in the church was simple though, and incredibly boring. It was a miracle that the sun didn’t bother you, past being a bit bright for your eyes. It was something that gave Nanami pause as well. As far as the both of you could tell the Viscount meant to make you special. However neither of you knew what his purpose was. Tonight you would be going to check out a known vampire coven to see what they knew about the Viscount. Nanami would fill you in on why he thought they would know. The higher officials of the church usually gave him orders, and then you got your orders from Nanami. Sometimes you just helped him slay vampires. It was something to look forward to. Nanami was an excellent fighter. Over the last two years he’d trained you in fighting vampires.
Since you existed on animal blood you weren’t as strong as your human blood drinking counterparts but you had a few advantages over them. The use of holy items was one of your advantages as well as the fact that you don’t smell like a vampire. Lastly, if you could make it until daylight, you’d win against any of your opponents. Right now, the running theory about your immunity to holy items was that you were not damned because you had not taken an innocent life. You’d never had human blood. Nanami was not completely sold on that idea, though.
You met him at midnight by the church gates. When he was going out to deal with vampires he always retired the priest robes. It made him stand out too much. No vampire was going to let a priest into their midst. Instead he wore an all black suit. It was basic, but it betrayed how built he was. The broad shoulders were obvious no matter what he was wearing, but his arms, the beautiful muscles of his chest, that sat like the perkiest pair of boobs you’d seen in your life, the way his waist pulled in, that was only visible in this plain black suit. So you loved the suit. Nanami was sitting on a ledge sliding silver rings on his fingers. Nanami had many weapons at his disposal, but he preferred to be more hands on.
“You know, those rings are kinda hot,” you said as you approached.
He spared you a withering glare before handing the briefcase at his side to you, “Get your weapons.”
“All work no play, huh?” Again, he didn’t respond. Your only source of constant entertainment came in the form of teasing Nanami. He was so easily exasperated with you. You set the case on the same ledge he was sitting on and grabbed your equipment. It was easier for you to hide your weapons under dresses and skirts, plus you enjoyed the spectacle of putting on your thigh holsters. Though Nanami didn’t even spare you a glance as you clicked everything into place.
“Where to tonight, boss?” you asked as you slid your daggers into place. You had a long black coat to go over everything and hold more weapons.
“The Lotus night club.”
“Oh? Do you dance, Father?” you asked with a smile.
“No.”
“I think I could change that,” you shook your hips, playfully.
“We’re after the head of a coven. Her name is Tara Lydos.”
“Oh a girlboss,” you said lightly.
“She helps old rich vampires acquire feeders,” Nanami continued. He looked up in time to see your expression darken. He knew that would sober you up a bit. You were good at Vampire slaying, he would willingly admit that much, but everything that came with being your handler hardly seemed worth it at times. Your cause had remained the same, and that was something he could respect. You wanted to kill the Viscount Alexi Cordelius, and any vampire in between you and that goal would meet their end. He could at least admire your unwavering resolution. When this mention began to stretch on and you took to your immortality a bit more he feared that you would desire a renegotiation of your terms. After all, the strength and rapid healing that came with vampirism was a privilege humans did not enjoy. Either way, your enthusiasm to kill other vampires had not waned.
Human nightlife drew in vampires like moths to the flame. Unfortunately, the only people getting burned were the humans. It was a concerted effort by the holy churches that were left to make people aware of the vampires living among them, but it was an even bigger effort on behalf of vampires and the larger societal norm to ignore such things. When vampires infiltrated the churches one of the first things they did was mock the very existence of vampires, witches, lycans and things like that. First they started by hunting other species that made humans their prey, the werewolves took the biggest hit, then they went for the witches who could spot a vampire a mile away and had the power to kill many of them at once. From there, anything left behind got the message. Vampires had placed themselves at the top of the hierarchy of monsters. Furthermore, they were slowly but surely making their move to domesticate humans.
Nanami walked into the nightclub first with you close behind him. The music was so loud you could feel the bass thump in your chest. Flashing lights made the image of the dancing writhing bodies around you skip and appear jumpy until your eyes grew accustomed to the milliseconds of darkness between the different colored lights.
“Keep up,” Nanami said to you, grabbing your wrist to keep you moving. You didn’t even realize you’d stopped moving.
This place smelled like a buffet, and you didn’t mean that it was appetizing. That mix of food smells was not always appetizing when you went into a buffet. The sight of the food was. If you saw humans as food maybe you would be more enticed. Moreover, you were worried about the sharper scents, the ones that stuck out. Like getting a nose full of cinnamon, or sandalwood, the scents of vampires were easy to find. You scanned the room and noticed whose eyes turned to you and Nanami. There was suspicion in their gaze. You turned your gaze to Nanami who was obviously looking for someone. Unknown vampires walking into a feeding den was already cause for suspicion but when both of them smell weird it could get you ambushed.
You pulled Nanami towards you as the two of you were moving across the dancefloor. You were stronger than him, though easily out maneuvered. He changed your grip on his wrist immediately so that he was holding your wrist in a tight grip.
“What are you doing?” he demanded.
“Dance with me,” you purred, stepping in closer to him and pulling him down so you could speak in his ear, “We’re drawing suspicion.”
Nanami looked around, and he saw the eyes following the two of you. You were right, much to his distaste. The two of you were drawing attention.
“I’m gonna get a drink.”
“You don’t wanna dance with me, Father?”
“Don’t call me Father right now.”
“You don’t wanna dance with me, daddy?”
He let out a sharp annoyed breath, glaring down at you. His mouth was down turned, and his brow tense. You grinned up at him.
“I need that drink,” he sighed, turning away from you but still keeping that firm grip on your wrist. You kept your smile on your face and elected to hug his arm close to your body. That action served two purposes: It made the two of you look a bit more like a couple to outside eyes, and you got to feel Nanami’s bicep. The bar lights were green making the vampire behind the bar look a bit ghoulish but no less beautiful. Her lips were painted black while the lights made her pale skin appear green. Her eyes were on Nanami first, and then you. She gave you a sly smile
“Aren’t you a pretty thing,” she purred, “First one’s on the house for pretty women. What are you having?”
“I’ll have a cosmo,” you answered leaning against the bar to return her flirtatious grin. You knew Nanami was rolling his eyes, you didn’t have to look at him to know that. It was two years of working with this big grump. Two years of talking to him about your mission, training with him, and flirting. Sometimes you miss how frequently the two of you used to train. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of his warm solid body pinning you down when you failed to block his attacks correctly. If you had any sense you would have prolonged your learning period. However Nanami had his ways of making you focus and betray the fact that you were learning to fight and quickly.
“And your best bourbon for this one, neat,” you ordered, remembering that he needed a drink not you. You could get drunk but it took a while. But from the way the bartender was pouring your drinks, maybe it wouldn’t take that long. You glanced at Nanami to see he was looking around. You wondered how he usually handled places like this. You leaned in close to him, tugging him down by his collar so you could speak in his ear.
“You look like a narc, Nanami. You’re making the bartender suspicious.” You cut your eyes to her, and saw that she was still eyeing him. You kissed his neck before pulling back. You felt his body temperature spike at the action as you pulled away. His heart was thumping right along with the bass in the club.
You turned to the bartender leaning over the counter to talk to her and show off your cleavage, “He’s a bit shy around us,” you winked, “He’s only half-blood.”
Her eyes lit up with interest. If this was the kind of place that trapped human’s with rare blood types then it came as no surprise to you that she would find him interesting. It put extra eyes on the two of you, but now they were no longer suspicious eyes. She gave you your drinks and the two of you sat down to enjoy them.
“Already scouting out a prettier woman than me?” you questioned. He gave you a questioning look and you curled your finger at him to move in closer.
“You’re not very good at this. You look suspicious.”
“I don’t usually fraternize in dens of iniquity,” he hissed at you.
You pulled back and rolled your eyes, “Just leave it to me, beautiful. I’ll make this work.” You brought your drink to your lips and took a large gulp. You’d gone on a couple missions with Nanami, he usually went on his own, especially when you were still bad at fighting. At this point you could only assume that those missions were just raids. He didn’t need to be discreet, he just had to be fast and strong. Those missions were all about killing as many vampires as possible, and maybe torturing one for information. It was not possible for the two of you to start staking your way through this place. There were too many humans around who could get hurt, and honestly you were far too outnumbered to try a stunt like this. So you’d have to blend in. As you swayed along with the music and sipped your drink you looked around for the target. You caught sight of her on the eastern balcony. She was a woman as pale as death with dark hair and makeup that only exacerbated her paleness. She spoke to a vampire beside her, probably her hired muscle. The vampire came down from the balcony into the dancing crowd and they stopped at a young woman who was dancing like she meant to bewitch everyone in the room. The vampire escorted her up to VIP with your target.
“Let’s dance,” you said, finishing your drink hastily.
“Absolutely-”
“Good,” you grabbed his arm as you hopped down from the bar stool to go towards the dancefloor. You knew he was allowing you to drag him along, probably for the sake of not causing a scene. When you got to the middle of the dancefloor, you turned to press your palms against Nanami’s stomach and slowly bring your arms around his waist.
“It looks like she calls hot people up to VIP. Why don’t you make use of the pretty face God gave you.” Nanami glanced up at the balcony, obviously considering your words, “Fine… but I am not familiar with the way that people dance at places like this.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll take the lead,” you smiled. You grabbed his hands and put them on your hips. You missed dancing in clubs. You weren’t exactly a party girl in your first life, but you were known to step out when it suited you. Dancing with Nanami reminded you of so many nights when you were still human. You were smart enough not to be in a place like this, but the heavy bass of the music, the flashing colored lights and the feeling of anonymity in a crowd that clubbing gave you was all encompassing. It was nice to forget yourself… not that something like that was possible now. Your senses were too sharp. The position of everyone in the room was all too obvious to you. You knew the warm bodies from the cold ones, and could hear the heavy beating hearts all around you. But it was nice to pretend to lose yourself as you made Nanami move with you. He at least had rhythm, though his hands were resolutely plastered to your hips and he looked like a middle schooler at his first school dance.
“It’s like you don’t even care if we get this lady. If you can’t handle it I’m sure I can do it alone,” you teased in his ear, pressing your chest to his in order to get close enough to do it. With that you turned around to put your back against him. You heard him give another suffering sigh as you bent over to shake your ass. Much to your surprise, Nanami didn’t let you go. Instead he simply changed his grip to keep you against him. So he did know a little something about dancing in a club.
There were things you missed about being human, that you missed now. You missed how your body used to flush, when you were flustered. If you’d met Nanami, by some weird twist of fate, while you were still human your body would have been constantly overheated, and feeling his hands on your hips, your waist, anywhere really would have had your pulse racing. A light sweat might have misted your skin in reaction to just how beautiful he was, or how big and strong his hands felt against you. Now… there was arousal sure but you couldn’t, in good faith, say that your heart was racing. It had barely picked up its pace, and you weren’t hot all over. You were probably closer to room temperature, like a corpse reanimated and moving about. The only body heat you gained was from warmth stolen from the atmosphere and the friction of your body against Nanami’s. Nanami was warm, perhaps warmer than a normal human though his heart rate was more like yours than a human. It moved slow and steady, pumping blood with optimal efficiency. His warmth made you lean into him, like a snake seeking out warmth.
Your movements could have put the serpent of Eden to shame. The winding of your waist and the temptation they brought, was enough to get the attention of the people around you. Nanami was more aware of the eyes that peered at you than you were. In a body that never grew tired of such a motion, and feet that would never begin to ache in your silly, impractical shoes, dancing was just a matter of skill. And you were very skilled.
Nanami truly couldn’t tell if you were giving your all for the sake of the mission, or trying to fluster him. Knowing you, it was a little bit of both. It worked though. Nanami bristled as he saw a vampire striding purposefully toward the two of you. He gripped your hip and pulled you back against him in case this was an attack.
“Oh, careful daddy you’ll get me all excited,” you purred, only to look up and see the vampire from before coming towards the two of you.
“The Lady wants to see you in VIP.” He said, before turning purposefully to lead the way. Nanami followed first, taking hold of your wrist to drag you along with him. The crowd parted the men in front of you and you simply moved in their wake.
VIP was filled with humans, any of whom might have their lives irrevocably changed tonight. They could be killed in a back alley somewhere, drained dry, or they could be taken home for the same purpose. An unlucky few might find themselves elected as feeders. You passed a young man with blood that smelled sweeter than maple syrup, with that same woodsy scent to go with it. He could be one of the unlucky few. Tara Lydos had not been the one to sell you like cattle but another woman like her had. It was easier for humans to trust beautiful women. They were under the unfortunate notions that beauty meant goodness, and women were harmless.
Instead of being left to wander, the two of you were taken to a private room. It was empty at the moment, with a half circle booth and a pole in the center of the room. Personal dances from vampires and human alike looking to gain something from a powerful woman.
“I’ve never worked a pole before,” you said.
“That’s surprising,” Nanami mused.
“Yeah? You’ve thought about me on the pole. We could see what I’m capable of. I don’t think Lady Tara Lydos would mind.”
He turned his stoic face towards you in order to glare. You playfully snarled at him before snapping your teeth. The door to the private room opened and a tall slender woman walked through it. She had long bone straight hair that was a bit thin, and cut bluntly at the ends, playing up the sharp angles of her body. She had a joint at the end of a long that she held between her fingers. It seemed out of place in the club but very unbrand for her look.
“A half breed and a strange smelling vampire walk into my club,” she began, her voice was deeper than you expected, but after a moment it seemed completely natural to you.
“Is there a punchline to this joke?” you asked when she didn’t continue.
“You tell me.” She stared you down and you met her gaze unflinchingly. You hadn’t done anything yet so there was no reason to be nervous.
“We’re just here for a good time,” you said blithely.
“So why is your pet so tense?”
“When was the last time you saw a half breed?” you asked, “We don’t typically let them live long.”
She nodded in agreement, “He’s cute. I see why you keep him around. But you seem like a rarity too, aren’t you one of Cordelius’s girls?”
You bristled and you felt Nanami tense at your side. You didn’t expect to be recognized. It’s not like you’d managed to memorize the face of every vampire who walked through the Viscount’s court, there were too many of them.
“You were the rose of the group, I’d know your scent anywhere. It seems an awful waste for him to change you, and even more of a waste for him to cut you loose.” She smiled showing off her glistening canines. You didn’t know what to say to her words or what she meant by them.
“I don’t pretend to understand that man,” you answered blithely, “But I heard you could deliver a good time, and considering my first life, I’d say I’m owed a good time.”
Her grin only widened, “I would ask the purpose of your pet?”
“… He’s easy on the eyes, and a brilliant fuck,” you answered after just a moment of hesitation. You glanced at Nanami out of the corner of your eye to see how he was fairing. He was tense, but it wouldn’t be odd for him to be tense in the current situation. He was in a room full of vampires. Tara Lydos seemed to float as she moved. Her steps were too graceful to determine one from the next. She loomed over Nanami and you watched his hand twitch towards his concealed weapons. You leaned in close, grabbing his wrist to keep him from doing anything hasty. The last thing you needed was to get into a brawl with the entire club.
“I don’t usually go for blondes, but there was just something special about this one,” You cooed running your fingers through his hair. To Nanami’s credit he kept his expression neutral.
She hummed before running a claw like nail along his jawline.
“You have good taste. You both smell odd, but you have this delightful sharpness to you that I’ve never smelled before. I suppose vampires never turn a human with such sweet blood. This is the first time I’m smelling someone like you. You must have a hard time keeping us away from you.”
“Ah yeah. I have to beat people off me with a stick,” you said in a sort of cavalier manner. Nanami never let on that you smelled like anything really. You had no idea that your scent was different from any other vampire. Even on the small routine hunts you went on you never noticed anything was amiss, but you supposed the two of you didn’t usually leave vampires alive long enough for them to talk about it. She leaned in close to you taking a deep breath.
“It’s intoxicating. Maybe that’s why Cordelius changed you. I’ll have to send him my regards. He is a visionary.”
“Where is the Viscount these days?” you asked, trying to seem nonchalant about it as she kept breathing in your scent.
“You don’t know?”
“He’s not one for telephones,” you offered, which was the truth. In your time under lock and key with him you listened to more than a few of his rants about technology and the modern world. He could be a crotchety old man. She hummed a sound of agreement.
“In the last letter I received he was in Wales.”
“Ah, in the old castle,” you nodded knowingly.
She hummed again, this was a more pleasured sound and her nose got closer to your neck. She stiffened, “Pardon me. I do find you hard to pull away from.”
You let out a coy little laugh, reaching out very slowly to touch her hair. You didn’t want her to misinterpret this moment for an attack. She leaned into your touch as you played in her hair.
“Why don’t you sit with us?” you offered, “There are more pleasures to experience from me than just my smell.”
Vampires were hedonistic creatures. It could not be confirmed whether this was a simple fact of their nature or a byproduct of immortality, but it was true of most vampires. You thought that Nanami was proof against the rule, he hardly did anything pleasurable, but one could argue that was because he was only half vampire. Every other vampire you came in contact with was like that. After all, the act of feeding was euphoric. Well the act of feeding on human blood was euphoric and you only knew that from your time as a feeder. Drinking animal blood was… unpleasant to say the least. But feeding from a live human could put a vampire into a blood drunk high of epic proportions.
You gently pushed her to sit in the booth beside you, and you crawled in her lap. You watched her wave away the guards standing by the door as she brought her hands up your body. You’d be remiss to say you didn’t have a bodily reaction to her touches. It had been 2 years with only minimal sexual contact. Being a vampire got you your own room in the convent but you didn’t trust yourself to be too close to humans, so as much as you played around about corrupting the nuns, the most you could do was flirt and give them impure thoughts to repent about later.
She fawned over you, “You’re warm for a vampire, you know? I hardly believe you have fangs.”
“Wanna see ‘em?” you grinned letting her see the sharp canines that plagued your existence,
“Do you know if Cordelius is still in Wales?” Nanami asked and you felt Tara bristle. She must have forgotten he was even there.
“What is your business with Cordelius?” she narrowed her eyes at him.
You had to think quick, so you settled in her lap and put an arm behind her neck, “I promised him I would take him to meet my maker, see if the brilliant Viscount might make a respectable vampire of him.”
She breathed in slowly, obviously taking a long whiff of you in the process. She moved in close again, nuzzling your neck. You made eye contact with Nanami who was staring at you in confusion, You gave him an equally confused look back. You didn’t know what was going on any better than he did, you were just better at thinking on your feet.
“Yes, yes, Cordelius is still in Wales he said he had to regroup after losing a… treasure of his,” she became very still and she pulled back to look at you, “When was the last time you saw Cordelius?”
“A couple of months ago,” you lied through your teeth.
“Is that so? Then naturally you know he’s been looking for something very dear to him. He wouldn’t say what.”
“Yes, a bauble from the 18th century. He’s quite attached to it.”
“It was no bauble,” Tara’s arm around you became a steel band, locking you in place, “No he was looking for something far more precious.”
“You’re holding me a bit tight there, sweetheart.”
Tara opened her mouth to yell but Nanami had a silver blade up to her throat before she could make a sound.
“I will take off your head, leech.”
“What is this?” she hissed looking at you with wide blood red eyes.
“Sorry, baby,” You lifted the skirt of your dress to grab the thin silver pike strapped to your thigh, “What does Cordelius want with me?”
“I’m not telling you shit- Ah!” she cried out as Nanami placed the blade against her neck more firmly.
“That is not a suitable answer. What is he after?”he insisted.
“You’ll kill me anyway. I am never-!” Before she could even finish, Nanami took off her head.
“We might have gotten more information from her,” you complained.
“And she might have alerted the guards. Come on,” he said and you got out of the dead vampires lap to follow him. He cleaned his blade on her dress before concealing it again. The two of you tried to walk past the guards outside of the room casually. However, you barely made it a few feet before they were yelling at you. It was just enough time for them to look in the room, see her body and start chasing.
Nanami broke out into a sprint grabbing your arm in the process. With the other hand he pulled a gun. You knew it shot silver bullets, something that could kill a vampire or severely wound one. You took the lead in forging your escape route as he turned around to shoot the two vampires with deadly precision. Screams erupted in the club. So much for keeping a low profile. As you made it to the stairs vampires lunged with gleaming teeth at you and you yanked Nanami back to keep him from their clutches. You drove the silver pike still in your hand into the throat of the closest one and kicked its body into the crowd causing a good number of them to fall backwards. Nanami turned in time to shoot at the approaching hoard. You had another silver pike and grabbed it with practiced efficiency. You didn’t spend the better part of two years training for nothing. Nanami let go of your hand to grab the second gun on his hip. Nanami was lethal with twin pistols, but you were all too aware that he only had so many bullets
“We’re jumping off the side,” you said before grabbing the back of the harness he wore to bring him with you as you hopped on the banister and jumped feet first into the crowd of mostly vampires. The heel of your shoe went right into the skull of one sending them down to the floor and making you fall on your ass. You had enough forethought to let go of Nanami as you fell. You struggled to get your heel out of the bloodsuckers skull and two vampires took advantage of your struggle pouncing on you with teeth bared and ready to rip out your throat. You were ready to meet your end only for brains to spray across your face as Nanami turned in enough time to shoot the closest one in the head.
“Ah, fuck!” you complained wiping blood out of your eyes. You slipped your foot out of your shoe and kicked out, connecting with the body of the second vampire pouncing after you.
“Get up!” Nanami yelled at you, before unceremoniously grabbing your arm and literally throwing you out of the way. Much like a cat, your body twisted instinctually to put you on your feet and you landed in the crowd, still slightless with blood in your eyes. Sound and smell guided your hands and with nails strong as steel you shoved your hand into the chest of the nearest assailant and ripped out their heart. You blinked feverishly to clear your sight and began doing your best to get back to Nanami. He looked in your direction, and threw his gun at you. You caught and followed his line of sight to a huge vampire who was in the air, poised to tackle you. You fired, but that didn’t stop his body from falling on you again. It smashed all of the air out of you.
Nanami sighed as you hit the floor again. He was going to make you train twice as hard when you got back to the parish. You growled in frustration, and shoved the body off of you and into the crowd. He put out a hand for you and you grabbed it. As he looked in your direction he saw the silver gleam of a weapon slice through the air. He spun quickly. Putting you in his place and getting in yours. He was fast enough to spare you the attack, but not fast enough to protect himself. The blade sliced through his back and he winced before he brought his own silver blade out and took off their head.
“Nanami!” you called out while still holding his hand. You yanked him out of the way of another attack coming behind him. When he was close enough you grabbed his harness again and led the way for your escape.
It wasn’t clean by any means and when you made it out to the streets there were plenty of people screaming. If people called the police it would probably be a while before they showed up. Law enforcement didn’t go to vampire hot spots in a hurry. Their general move was to let the vampires sort out themselves then account for casualties. There was a special sector for vampiric cases. You could smell Nanami’s blood. It wasn’t fatal, but it wasn’t good for him to keep bleeding like this, especially with vampires likely hunting the two of you.
You got to the car and Nanami went to the driver’s side.
“Maybe I should drive!” you said, wary of the blood he was losing.
“Shut up and get in the car!” he bit back at you.
You did as he said, pulling in a deep breath before you got in. You held it, knowing you wouldn’t be able to roll the windows down, for fear of leaving a scent trail. Nanami sped off in top speeds just as a group of vampires spilled out of the club doors. Nanami was not human, but for some reason his blood still appealed to you, perhaps with a deeper draw than human blood did. You didn’t know why that was.
The first time you realized it was a problem the two of you were sparing. You landed your very first attack on Nanami, your nails sliced into his midsection. You pulled in a breath to gloat only to be hit with a surge of bloodlust so strong it nearly overcame you. If it were anyone else, they would have been dead. Your body moved on instinct, cutting through his light defenses, and going straight for his neck. He seemed to realize almost immediately that you were no longer fighting to train, and he had become prey. Just as swiftly as you attacked you were pinned to the ground with a stake at your chest.
“Get control of yourself or I will kill you!” he said firmly. You did control yourself, but you thought he gave you more time than you should have to do it. Now it was easier to resist, but you didn’t like to be in close proximity to him while he was bleeding. This was… uncomfortable, but you could hold your breath indefinitely. It just wasn’t a pleasant feeling.
The drive was rough. He drove as fast as he could weaving through traffic at speeds that would have made a racecar driver crash. You focused on not breathing. You lost the vampires pretty easily on the road and the two of you wound up stopping at a rest stop on the fringes of the city. The car was barely parked before you opened up the door to get out. You went around the car to wrench the driver’s side door open.
“You’re bleeding out, come on,” you bent to pop the trunk so you could grab the big first aid kit out of it. Nanami’s healing was faster than that of a human, and it rivaled a vampire’s healing factor. He would sleep this off, but you needed to help his body along. The two of you walked into the women’s bathroom together, mostly because they usually had more space, and if need be you could duck into a stall. He tried taking the supplies away from you but you dodged his hands.
“It’s on your back. You can’t reach back there,” you informed.
He sighed, looking at you with tired eyes, “Don’t torture yourself. I’m bleeding.”
“I can handle it,” you assured, meeting his gaze. He searched your eyes for bloodlust, or any hint that handling his wound might be too much for you, but you appeared calm, with eyes just as dark as they always were, scleras the same white as always. He relinquished the First aid kit to you while he took off his shirt.
You were trying to be mature about this. He was heart, and if you breathed in, the weight of his scent would hit you like a ton of bricks, but as he shrugged off the black button up to reveal the tank top underneath you were struck with a hunger that had nothing to do with Nanami’s blood. His muscles were still tense from the fight and so the way his biceps were bulging seemed more than a little obscene. Then he took off the tanktop and you were staring at a large back tattoo. You never would have guessed that Nanami had tattoos. The first thing that stuck out to you was the crucifix, and ornate thing positioned in the middle of his back, with the vertical axis sitting on top of his spine and the horizontal point hugging just underneath his shoulder blades. Upon his shoulder blades, there was script in latin, and you knew enough from your studies to know that it was a blessing of the higher church. And beside it you noticed Ethiopian script and you could discern a tone of spiritual cleansing but you didn’t know enough to give specifics. The mix of writing, and symbols upon his back were truly dizzying. It made you want to get in close and study it.
“Still bleeding out,” he reminded you when you made no move to touch him.
“Oh right,” you looked up to see him in the mirror, and nearly stalled again. When the two of you trained he always wore a shirt. Sure, you could tell through the worn cotton that Nanami was built, but seeing the way the muscles of his chest sat was not good for your mental health. You put your eyes on his lower back that was actually ink free for the most part.
“Well, it didn’t mess up your ink, father,” you said as you began to soak gauze in alcohol to clean the wound. He did not dignify you with a response. You moved quickly, cleaning the wound and trying to ignore the slight hitch in his breathing every time you wiped the wound. If he were a normal human he’d need stitches, but a good night’s rest, or a sip of blood would close the wound in time. You were sure to need a couple of blood packs before you went to bed. Your body was sore in the places where wounds closed preternaturally fast. His skin was incredibly warm to the touch, and you tried to be as gentle as possible.
“Maybe don’t jump in front of stakes for me,” you said, as you wrapped a long bandage around his midsection, “I’m just a leech after all. No need to risk your life.” You smiled as you glanced at him while you stood in front of him. You tucked the end of the bandage to secure it while he looked at you. You could physically feel his gaze. His face betrayed nothing so you couldn’t even infer what was going through his head.
“I still need you for leverage on Cordelius,” he said curtly, “He’s looking for you, and we’re looking for him. That’s perfect don’t you think?”
Summary: When Father Nanami found you on the church steps you only asked him for one thing, to drive a stake through your heart. Instead of granting your wish he proposes another deal, a chance to get back at the vampire who turned you: The Viscount Alexi Cordelius. Up until the moment the viscount is executed you will serve as his assistant in hunting and killing vampires. In the end, when your quest for vengeance is done, Nanami will grant you your wish to die.
As the two of you go on a journey to kill the vampire that stole your mortality the two of you will uncover the each other’s secrets and those of the feud between the church and vampires. In a life of night and drawn blood it seems the only person you can rely on is the one fated to kill you.
Summary: You are kicked into a new life as a vampire from a moving van. You find refuge in the promise of a quick death from the church.
Warnings: talk of death, blood, some gore… but no worse than canon
A/N: I’m kinda on a vampire kick after watching Castlevania. This fic is equal amounts light-hearted banter and the horrors of vampires… with a good helping of smut sprinkled throughout. I don’t know if I’m going to make a playlist for this one. I haven’t really needed it, but we’ll see what happens.
Who Art in Heaven Master List
They kicked you out of a moving van with a careless, “Go feed, bitch.” Your body hit the asphalt, rolling with the leftover momentum from the car. You laid there for a moment, too dazed to get up. The night was cold, spring rains mixed with a harsh cold front were not kind to your body. It felt like your bones might rattle apart as you shivered on the ground. You pulled in a harsh breath. There was something so sweet in the air it made your mouth water. You sniffed the air again, you could almost taste it. The smell was sweet, with a nutty undertone, and something sharp and metallic under it. You opened your eyes in time to watch a raindrop fall from the sky and land right in it.
“Hey, are you alright?” someone called, and your head snapped in their direction. You looked at the young woman peering at you. You took a deep breath to answer her, but that scent hit you again, like a full force punch in the gut. It was warm now, like breathing in the scent of a freshly baked apple pie, it made your mouth water. You felt your teeth shift, canines dropping lower, pressing into your bottom lip. The past came to you in flashes, restraints, bitter blood forced into your mouth, the burning agony of the change.
“No,” you whispered in horror. You knew what you were smelling.
“I can… I can call someone for you if you want.” she said, and she was closer. You could feel the warmth of her body, and hear the heavy thrum of her pulse. It would be nothing to turn and sink the razor sharp fangs in your mouth into her neck. You stopped breathing and darted in the opposite direction. None of this was supposed to happen, and you refused to become another bloodsucking leech, feeding off of humanity like a parasite. As you ran the heady scent of blood faded and soon there was nothing but rain and dirt as you made it to the edge of the city in record time. You paused to breathe, to think, to try to plot out your next move. You were miles from that woman now. She would be hopelessly confused, but it was better than being dead. You punched the tree at your side and heard the wood snap, and then slowly fall away from you. You watched it fall with wide eyes. This was really happening. You were a soulless creature.
“Where the hell are you going?” a deep voice asked to your right. You turned to see a pale faced person looking at you. He lookedlike a vampire, ashen skin, dark hair that was slicked back and dramatic sideburns that should have been left in the 1800s. He had a prominent brow bone that put his eyes into the shadow, and a thin pointed nose that had been broken more than a few times.
“The food’s that way, genius,” he continued and as you stared at his face you remembered him. Throughout the agony and the fever of the change he’d been there, checking up on your progress from far below you. You remembered now that you had been suspended in the air during your change. You set off running again. You heard him curse before the distance made his voice quieter. As you ran you surveyed your surroundings, trying to find some place to hide. Your gaze caught the sight of a weird shape in the distance. When you blinked you recognized it as a cross. Hallowed ground. Hallowed ground could kill a vampire and that was all you were looking for now. You wouldn’t let this man take you back to that dungeon. You wouldn’t let them keep poking and prodding you. As you ran you heard another set of footsteps. The sound of their movement told you where they were and what they were doing. They were trying to cut you off. You took a small detour through the woods, narrowly missing the trees you ran past at speeds that would have been dizzying for the human mind. As you saw the other man coming to cut you off you jumped into a tree. You heard something whistling through the air behind you and you turned to catch it. Your hand closed around a blade only for another to bury itself into your side. You cried out dropping the first dagger reflexively. Your hand was slick with blood and agony ripped through your side. However the tree shuddered with the weight of another body and you knew you needed to move again. You jumped into the next tree, one hand grasping the hilt of the dagger to pull it out of you. It’s not like you intended to live through today. If you bled out before you got to hallowed ground, then that would work too.
“We need her alive, asshole!” one of the men yelled as you narrowly avoided a dagger to the face.
“She’s getting away!”
The view of the church was clearer now. You were just about there when one of them caught you by the ankle, sending you careening towards the ground. You hit it so hard that it knocked the wind out of you. You heard your ribs crack under the impact. Soon after they put their foot in the middle of your back. “Stupid, bitch. You’re headed straight for a damn church,” he yelled at you. You rolled over, screaming with the agony of the motion. Your quick turn put him off balance and you shoved him as he fell towards you. He went flying backwards and you scrambled up on your feet to make it the last mile into the clearing. Their nails scraping against your back trying to pull you back but it was too late. You turned to look at them waiting to burn up and die. They stared at you from the trees waiting for the same thing.
“Has this church been desecrated?” the broken nose one said to the other guy that you were only just now getting a good look at. He had long curly brown hair, and his eyes were dark as pitch. He stared at you with bubbling resentment.
“Nah, she’s a fucking special breed. Step over there if you’d like. Your ass’ll burst in flames.”
“We can’t leave her!” the broken nose guy said, “Get over here, right now!”
You realized then that you weren’t dying. You were still standing there on the church grounds. Blood loss made you unsteady on your feet, but the last thing you were going to do was go back to them. You took a step backwards, towards the church, pressing your hand down on your wound.
“No! Get your ass back here! They’ll fucking stake you in there, you know that?”
He was right. If the grounds didn’t kill you, someone inside would. You turned and hobbled towards the front doors of the church. They would kill you for sure, and maybe they would be kind enough to pray for your soul.
The doors to the church were always open, so it was only right that Nanami took the overnight shift. The other priests of the church tried to relieve him of it, but he always assured him that the night suited him better anyway. Most of the older clergy members were aware of his nature, and so they never made direct orders for him to work in the day. He couldbut it was just a waste to make others stay overnight when he was so perfectly suited to it. It was not something the elders in the clergy told any of the new blood, but Nanami was half vampire. He was left at the church by his mother before she died. They took care of him, which was a show of good faith on their part. There weren’t many true houses of God left in the world. So many others were sullied by the sins of man, but this place? Nanami worked hard to keep it on the right path. It was the least he could do for the people who put their necks out for him to be able to live in the parish.
The church was quiet. It often was at this hour. There was nothing but the sound of heavy rain on the roof, and the quiet crackle of candles on the altar. If he listened just a bit harder he could hear water hitting the floor. There was a leak in the roof that he would have to see about it. He heaved himself up from the church pews to go get a bucket to put under the leaky spot. As he walked through the church to get to a supply closet he passed the front entrance, a pair of large double doors that were always a hassle to keep insulated these days. He took a deep breath through his nose and then stopped in his tracks.
He smelled blood. He opened one of the doors and looked out to see you. You were lying on your back on the church stairs, unable to make it just a few more feet, under the stone doorway that would have protected you from the rain. Blood washed down the stairs, as the pouring rain kept it from pooling. There was a slight gray cast to your rich complexion. It made him worry about how much blood you’d already lost. However as he got closer he could smell your true scent. Humans smelled… more like animals. That is to say there was something organic about their scent. Vampires were too sweet, too spiced, too perfect. Everything about a vampire is designed to reel in its prey. He paused in the doorway, trying to make sense of why you hadn’t burned up upon stepping on the land, let alone the church steps. He reached in his pocket and produced a flask of holy water. He splashed a bit of the water on your skin from a distance and there was nothing. He blessed that water himself, it should have worked. He tried the holy oil next, and again you had no response. His own curiosity was piqued.
“Now what would a vampire want in the church?” he asked himself.
You awakened in a dark room. It smelled of incense, and the scent was heavy, clinging to the back of your throat in a thick coating. You could taste it. It was hard to get your bearings at first. Your eyes felt strange. Or rather, the way you perceived your own sight was strange. At the moment you were staring at the tiny pits and flaws in the stone floor under you. You could see inside of each tiny hole with such definition it was dizzying. You’d never been able to do that before. There was also a steady beat in the room. It was slow, two beats every few seconds, then a sort of hissing would happen, like a soft wind. It was high and then low, in then out, you could feel the change in the air on your skin. Your head snapped up as you realized that there was another person in the room with you. Your eyes zeroed in on a priest. He sat beside a table full of strange bottles and a symbol that made your brain stall. You stared at it trying to make sense of the four points.
“Crosses and most pointed geometric shape confuse the brains of vampires,” he said picking up the cross on the table and holding it out to you. Having it move made you feel nauseous, so as he thrusted it out towards you, you recoiled. As you did so, you heard a loud clattering behind you. You went to move and found yourself stuck. Your arms were behind your back and you hadn’t noticed yet. You pulled at the cuffs.
“Silver handcuffs. You won’t be able to break them, leech,” he said placidly, “What is your business here?”
You thought for a moment and answered, “You… the church kills vampires, yes?”
He tilted his head, “You’ve come for revenge? Did we kill your mate?”
You shook your head, “I wanted to die. I thought that stepping on the ground would do it. Has God abandoned this house too?”
“No, you are on hallowed ground, and you’re still alive. How?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I’ll tell you everything I know, just please, please kill me after.”
“Curious,” he mused, “you really seem to mean that. Alright, fine. I was going to kill you anyway. So as long as you answer my questions truthfully, I will make your end quick.”
“Thank you,” you answered. The priest was blonde, and handsome.He was far too handsome to be a priest. The women of the world were really missing out. He had his ankle propped up on his knee, a way of crossing his legs that made them look longer. His head leaned against his fist that was covered by leather gloves.
“Who is your maker?”
You took a deep breath, “The Viscount Alexi Cordelius.” His name was sour like acid on your tongue. The priest sat up a bit straighter, “You know him.”
“I do. How do you?”
“Bad luck,” you answered miserably, “I was taken by an older vampire, Lord Drakon, for feeding when I was 13. I’ve been around vampires for a very long time. The Viscount came to visit one day, and then the next day I was shipped off to him.”
“For feeding?” Nanami questioned.
You shook your head, “For a long time we just talked. He taught me about the world, shared knowledge with me. I was with him for a year and a half.”
“You’re new. You still smell a little human. How long ago did he turn you.”
You frowned thinking of a time just yesterday when your body felt like it was being burned by the flames of hell, and you were suspended from your arms, bound to a…cross. You were crucified, you remembered now.
“Three days ago he made me drink from a chalice,” you answered, thinking of the ruby chalice and the way he had his lackeys hold you down while he gripped your face, wrenching your jaw open to pour the mixture of blood and other things into your mouth.
“Three days,” he repeated, “Was it his blood? Did you see him cut his hand or wrist-” He stopped talking as you shook your head.
“The blood came from a bag and there were other powders and I was put on a cross during my change. It wasn’t… normal. I’ve seen people get turned. It wasn’t like that. I don’t know what he’s done to me, but I won’t help him. I won’t be another parasite.”
“Can the Viscount step on hallowed ground?”
You shook your head, “No. I’ve never met a vampire who could.”
“So you’re special. Why?”
“So I can suffer more. I don’t know! Vampires have been calling me special for a decade! I don’t know why this happened to me, but I wish to God that none of it ever did,” you felt tears prick at your waterline. What cruel irony, to spend your whole life at the mercy of beings stronger than you, and to become just like them in the end.
“Have you ever fed from a human?” Nanami asked.
You shook your head, “Never.”
“Did they feed you while you were changing?”
“No. I was supposed to feed tonight. They kicked me out into the city, and I made a break for it. It’s how I wound up here.”
Nanami nodded slowly, “You are innocent.”
“I am a monster.”
“You’ve never killed anyone. Maybe that is why you’re allowed on hallowed ground. You may be turned but you haven’t lost your soul.”
The tears in your eyes slipped down your cheeks, “You said you would kill me if I told you everything I know!”
“You’re right,” he sighed. It just didn’t sit right with him to kill an innocent woman, who was the victim of unfortunate circumstances. You didn’t ask for any of this. These days it was common for young people to seek out vampires for the dark gift of immortality. They would forfeit their humanity to live forever. You were just a girl who had never stood a chance. He could only imagine what your scent was like when you were human. As a vampire your smell was appealing. If he breathed too deeply it would make his mouth water.
“I have… personal grievances with the Viscount,” he said seriously, “Can I offer a new deal?”
“Fine.”
“Help me find and kill the Viscount Alexi Cordelius, and then I will give you a quick death.”
“What’s the alternative? You keep me here, bound and starving?”
“No. I would keep my original word and kill you now. But, I have no leads on the viscount and you aren’t the only woman whose life he’s stolen. I thought you might want to be a part of his capture and execution.”
You were quiet, thinking of the Viscount. He’d taken every bit of hope that you’d begun to foster in his midst, and he crushed it within a week. You would like nothing more than to be the one to drive the stake into his chest.
“Okay.” you agreed.
“Good. You can survive on animal blood, you know? It doesn’t taste as good, but you won’t know the difference.”
“Is that what you do?”
“At times, but I survive on human food alone. I am only half vampire after all.”
“Your dad was the vampire?”
“Yes.”
You nodded, “What’s your name, Father?”
“Kento Nanami.”
“Promise me this, please, Kento Nanami. If I ever feed on a human, or if I even look like I might, kill me.”
Shoko stands at the floor-to-ceiling window. Watching the twinkling of city life at night she takes a hearty drag of her cigarette. The silk robe has begun to slip off of one shoulder but she can’t be bothered to fix it. She’s had too much wine. Feels like she hasn’t quite gotten her sea legs yet and god damnit why hasn’t Satoru got any ashtrays around?
“Here,” he comes up from behind her with a familiar small bowl, kisses the exposed skin of her shoulder and it makes her skin prickle.
“Thanks,” she flicks her ashes into it.
“When are you going to quit?” He asks.
“When I feel like it.” She says, cigarette in her teeth. She’s in no mood to have this conversation with him. “When are you going to start eating?”
“I do eat,” he says.
Lies.
His kisses move up to the crook of her neck. Like a distraction. And she hates how much it’s working.
“Not enough. You look thin.”
They lock eyes through the reflection in the clean glass. She lulls her head back at the feel of his teeth.
“So do you.”
Touché.
“I’ve had a lot of work recently,” Shoko says, butting her cigarette into the bowl for Satoru to place to the side. It’s not untrue. She’s tired. Even her fingers ache.
“Then let me help you relax.”
He slips the robe clean from her shoulders. It’s the only thing she’s wearing and now that she’s exposed to the night air she recoils on instinct. Gojo is there to grab her by the wrists, unwind her limbs like vines from where she is wrapped around her own bare chest and place her hands on the glass in front of them.
She should be used to this by now. His kind of love. The kind that makes you open yourself up, sharp scalpel rip from pharynx to navel, exposing all of those nasty things you’ve gone through so much evolution to hide—to protect. Somehow he’d managed to dig his hands inside of her. She could feel him. Feel him squeeze and wrench and grab at all her viscera until it ached. Until there was no space inside her hollow cavity left unaccosted.
He penetrated.
Gojo left her vulnerable. Left her to seek out his warmth, an act that—she had to admit—felt more than comforting after an endless ennui of contact with cold corpses. Their stiffness lingered in her bones like a sickness, blue mouths and prominent veins etched into her minds eye like a map of death itself. He withdrew the chill from her, pressing her against his warm skin and enticing her to touch his pink flesh until she forgot it all.
He wastes no time, lips leaving a trail of kisses down her spine and its not until his forceful hands press her chest against the large window that she realizes the position she’s in. That anyone with a sharp eye or basic telescope can see her—and them—and what they do under cover of moonlight.
But she can’t seem to care. Not when he grips her hips, pulling her backside toward his face. Not when his warm mouth moves between her thighs. Despite the way her head drunkenly spins when she closes her eyes she can manage to focus on the swipe of his tongue and the way his name sounds as it leaves her lips. No longer the mirthful trill of friendship. It’s smoky and lubricious, carried on a whisper that begs for more despite herself.
“You love the way I taste?” She says breathlessly, though she knows the answer already.
“I do. You taste so fucking good,” he hums.
His breathing is heavy against her folds. She can feel every languid lap as he eats her out from behind. Every calculated flick of tongue and the way the tip teases in circles at her most desperate spots. His head shakes into her, bringing her spine to a charming curve. And when he tongues her clit the city lights blur, like stars against a black abyss. They dance in her vision as if she were spinning.
Shoko doesn’t need him to tell her that she tastes good. She knows it. But she enjoys his adoration all the same. The way he does his best to please her. Her hands push his face into where she needs him most, and she loves how he doesn’t fight her on it.
“Keep going. Make me cum,” she whines.
He’s voracious. His tongue wriggles inside of her and his hands rub in circles at her clit until her knees begin to buckle. He’s no stranger to eating her out, knowing exactly how she likes it and where she likes it.
Her hips press back into his face when she cums. She ruts herself against his mouth and chin and the ringing in her ears is almost deafening when she reaches the height of release.
He kisses her thighs, her ass, the small of her back.
“Relaxed?” He asks.
The way he looks up at her, gaze like a puppy waiting for a treat, has her melting in a way that only he can bring about. She cradles his face in her hands. His mouth is wet with her and she swipes at the swell of his bottom lip with her thumb.
“Not quite yet,” she smiles.
___
It smells like rain. Her boot skids on a tiny rock on the sidewalk, the sound all the more loud given the unusual hush draped over the city this evening. She needed cigarettes, he needed something sweet to drink. Under the yellow glow of street lights she opens her new pack, slender fingers pulling a cigarette from the bunch.
“You need to quit,” Gojo harps for what may be the millionth time.
“What I need is a beer,” Shoko lights her cig.
“I have some,” he says, “at my place.”
It’s an invitation for a lot more than beer. She knows this. Knows she should say no. Go home, not muddle their boundaries any more than they already have been. But her place is lonely and cold, and her fridge was empty.
“Okay,” she says.
“Okay then.”
That’s when he does it. The unthinkable. His warm hand reaches out and grabs hold of hers like they had done it a million times before. Like they’re a real couple, not just two lonely people fucking around to fill the emptiness, if only for a little while.
Reflexively, she pulls her hand back.
“Don’t,” she warns. Partially to herself.
He doesn’t say anything. She brushes stray hair behind her ear as they continue to walk in silence. Footsteps echoing, they seemed to get louder and louder. She wants to tell him she’s sorry. That she just doesn’t want anything to get confused.
“Fuck it, fine,” she mutters, grabbing his hand.
She can see the corners of his mouth perk up, and as she watches her feet take one step after another she allows herself a small smile, too.
___
She hates the the chirping of birds. She hates the lemon glow of sunlight pouring in from the windows and the way it warms the bedsheets. She hates the sound of someone rattling around in the kitchen to make breakfast. Shoko hates a lot of things about mornings when she’s hungover.
“Coffee?” Satoru asks.
Just the thought of it alone makes her stomach turn in the most nauseating cyclone. “I’d rather die, thanks.”
She wants to roll onto her side, throw the covers over her head and call it a day. Of course, Gojo would be a morning person, whereas she would sleep until noon if given the chance.
“You can’t sleep all day.”
“Watch me,” she replies, rolling over and away from him.
He slides into the bed. Pulls her onto her back and climbs on top of her.
“Cut it out,” she moves to hit him playfully but he pins her hands above her head.
“You’re so pretty, Shoko,” he says.
It’s so out of nowhere that it leaves her mouth hung open for a moment and she doesn’t know how to react.
Deflect.
“So are you,” she replies.
“I’m serious,” he laughs for a moment. “You are.”
She can hardly take him seriously. Her eyes must be extra dark this morning, her hair a mess about the pillow and she’s only wearing one of his old sweaters—not quite a vision of beauty.
“You are pretty,” he kisses her eyes. “You are pretty,” he kisses her nose. “Pretty,” he kisses her waiting mouth.
She leans into him when he deepens the kiss. Lets him place his weight on top of her and she threads her fingers into his soft hair. Yes, there are a lot of things Shoko hates about mornings, but this isn’t one of them.
___
Sometimes she spots him across the street. A glimpse of long black hair between the moving bodies of the crowd and her feet plant like lead into the sidewalk until she remembers. Until something snaps her back to reality.
“Can I bum a smoke?” A voice startles her from behind.
She turns. “Creep.”
“Sorry I’m late.”
“You could have texted.”
“Then I wouldn’t have been able to scare you,” Gojo smirks.
“Such a child.” Shoko can’t even find it in her to sigh.
“You okay?”
She tucks her hair behind her ear, dragging her eyes off of the crowd and back onto him.
“I’m fine. I just don’t feel much like going out tonight, after all. Can we just go back to my place?”
She’s thankful that although he looks like he wants to ask more, he doesn’t press. And besides, there’s nothing left to gain from chasing old ghosts.
___
Those first sips of cheap red wine set a blaze that rolls from her belly like wildfire, consuming every inch of her. By the fourth glass she’s forgotten all her troubles. Like a phoenix she arises from a pile of her own ashes, shedding her tired body for something new.
“Why here?” She asks, crossing her legs in her seat.
“He liked it,” Gojo replies listlessly.
“There’s nothing but lonely old men in here,” she takes another sip of her drink.
“Should we get dessert?” Gojo asks from behind a menu.
“I don’t care.”
“I think I want dessert. Maybe cheesecake.”
“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem a little…unhinged.”
“Maybe the castella.”
Another lonely soul wanders in from the snow, taking refuge in the warmth and jazzy Christmas music playing overhead. She downs her glass, leaving a lipstick stain on the rim.
“Can I smoke in here?”
“I don’t think so.”
“I’m going to the ladies room.” She slips her pack into her bra.
There’s no way she’s going to go through the trouble of grabbing her coat from the coat check to stand outside in the cold for a smoke. With any luck, the bathroom will have a window. Ducking around waiters and down a hall, the chatter of the main room growing faint, Shoko pushes into the bathroom, her mouth longing for the feel of a cigarette.
There’s a chill on her back as the door slams behind her. A click of the lock as she turns around and although her mind registers that it’s just Gojo, her heart still hammers in her chest.
“You lost?” She asks as she lights a cigarette between her lips.
Gojo shakes his head.
“What if I had to piss?”
He takes a step toward her. Slowly pulls the smoking cigarette from her mouth and tosses it onto the floor. She’s between him and the wall now and his warm hands feel so good as they slide her dress up her hips before slipping her panties down, just enough so that his fingers can find her.
“Here? Now?”
“Why not?” He answers. His lips kiss her neck until she melts.
Try as she might, her brain can’t come up with a reason to protest. Not when his fingers feel so good inside of her. Not when her hips start to grind on his large palm. His free hand gropes at her breasts and his lips tease down the low cut to her cleavage where he begins to suck at her soft skin.
“Don’t leave marks,” she winces at the feel of his teeth. Uses her hands to grab at his hair and strain to pull him away from her.
“But you like it. It makes you so fucking wet,” he mewls into her tits.
She hates how well he knows her. But she knows him, too. And when she slides his zipper down his cock jumps out, so easy for her to grab hold of. And she can feel him flinch at her touch, so desperate for her hands, her anything.
They breathe heavily into one another, eyes locked as they jerk each other off. His fingers move at lightening speed and when they curl inside of her she shudders, unable to stop herself from moaning out his name. Her own hand moves faster, hammering into the base of his cock until he grunts low and steady.
“You get off from doing this in a public place? Perv.” Shoko pants.
“You’re the one about to cum all over my fingers. You’re soaking wet. Hear how wet you are?”
She could. Every wet squelch of her arousal. There was no denying she was close to orgasm. Or that her body wished it was his cock and not his fingers inside of her right then.
“Never said I wasn’t a perv,” Shoko smiles through her whines.
His palm against her clit has her clenching around his fingers in waves, the slow moan of her orgasm making his cock bounce and his hips stutter until he’s shooting strings of cum against her bare pussy and thigh.
There’s never a knock on the bathroom door. Not even as they get cleaned up. Shoko blows a thin stream of smoke out of the cracked window as snowflakes fall to the ground. The chilly air a bit welcoming to her skin. She butts on the sill before closing it up,
“Let’s go get you your dessert.”
___
Her breathing is as shallow as his love. A maelstrom of memories have done their best to keep them from this point of no return. They flash before her now, the laughter of three friends and spring flowers and late nights when the world is quiet except for whispered secrets.
She’s on the couch, fingers pressed into herself in an act that only she has witnessed until this moment. She closes her eyes but she can still hear him next to her. His groans make her nerves electric and without realizing it, she moves her fingers to the sound of his hand.
One eye peeks open. He’s watching her. The look on his face so achingly sensuous that she has to remember herself.
“No looking,” she scolds him.
“Remind me why I can’t look, again?”
“Because those are the rules. We’re just doing this as—ahh—friends.”
“And friends can’t look?” Gojo pants.
“Friends can’t look.”
“Then don’t look at me, either.”
“I wasn’t going to.” She circles her clit, her hips rolling in pleasure.
“Hnn—you were looking.” Gojo strokes himself faster.
“Only to make sure you weren’t.”
In the corner of her eye she can see him. How long and hard he is. How quickly his hand moves and how strong the muscles of his arms are. How his veins stick out with the strain of what he’s doing and she wonders what it would be like to ride him before shaking the thoughts from her head.
“Yeah right. You want to look, admit it.”
“I…d-don’t.” Shoko clenches around her fingers, lets out a languid mewl.
“Fuck,” Gojo moans, “yes you do.”
“That’s not how this works.”
Their naked bodies grow slick with sweat. She can feel beads of perspiration crawl down the nape of her neck. Her fingers dig until they find the spot that has her toes curling and she pinches a nipple with her free hand.
“Fuck it, I’m looking,” he says.
When they meet eyes she can’t look away. His cheeks are flush, his lips parted for his quick pants and his fist is stroking himself faster and faster as he watches her play with herself. She pretends the fingers are his as she matches his pace. Pretends she’s on top of him, her hands roaming around the tight muscles of his chest and abs and playfully ghosting over his hard nipples until he shivers. She wants to feel his hip bones cut into her thighs. She wants to feel the head of his cock push toward her cervix.
“Ahh, ah,” Gojo jerks himself unabashedly, rubbing a thumb over his swollen head. “You’re so fucking sexy, Shoko.”
Despite herself she lets out a high pitched whine, her orgasm ripping through her in a rush of waves. She can see his eyes roam from her chest to where her hand meets her pussy and she can only wonder what he’s imagining. Her thighs clench together as she cums and it’s only a few seconds before he follows suit. His orgasm coupled with an animalistic groan that sends shivers throughout her body. She hadn’t known he could sound like that. And she knows the sound won’t leave her memory anytime soon.
“We can’t do this ever again,” she tells him.
“Right,” he says, still breathless.
“I’m serious. Let’s promise to never cross this line again. We’re friends.”
“Friends,” he repeats.
“Exactly.Friends,” she replies. But for some reason the word makes her stomach feel hollow.
___
She was drunk. Admiring the way the moonlight shines around his head like a halo and thinking it was a crime for someone to be so god damned pretty. He’s drunk, too. For the first time in a long time. Beer cans and bottles of wine litter the coffee table and the movie they were watching has lost their interest. Her head lay in his lap as she finishes the last of her cigarette.
“It’s true, you’re haunted.”
“I’m not haunted.”
“Yes you are,” Shoko slurs.
“By who’s ghost? Should I burn some sage?” Gojo jokes.
She flicks her ashes, pointing her cigarette up at his face as he looks down on her. “Not by who. By what.”
“The hell does that mean?”
“You’re haunted by a moment.”
She can tell this catches him off guard. He stirs a little in his seat.
“A moment.”
“Yeah, a moment. I think moments can have souls,” she takes a slow drag of her cig.
“How do you know?”
“Because I know you. I can see it in your eyes, you have the weight of sadness. I’ve seen it enough times to know.” She thinks of all the loved ones she’s had to deliver bad news to. All the hope and will to live drained from their faces, the ghosts of what could have been forming inside of them like thick black smog that takes on a life of its own.
“Maybe it’s because you’re haunted by a moment, too.”
“Maybe,” she puts out her cigarette.
“So what’s the big deal?” Gojo attempts to brush it off.
“So, maybe it prevents us from having new moments.”
She doesn’t know how long he looks at her. Or why she grabs his face, running the pads of her thumbs pitifully against his cheeks. She doesn’t know when exactly they start kissing. What she does know is that being in his arms makes her feel better. Lighter. And for now, that’s enough.
“Touch me,” he whispers.
She blames it on their drunkenness. How quickly things escalate. Her head is spinning too fast to think about the consequences of their actions. All she can focus on is how incredibly hard he is and how soft his begging sounds.
Her tongue slides up the length of his cock and he immediately grabs at her hair, messing his fingers through it with a deep exhale. She teases him for a while. Lapping at the head and slapping him against her flat tongue until she can see a rose heat on his face.
It’s sexy, the way he watches her suck him off. His mouth open, sometimes biting his bottom lip enough to leave a mark. The tendons in his neck straining while his head cocks to the side to get a better view.
“You’re so good,” he repeats as she bobs up and down.
She knows she’s a little messy from being drunk, but that only seems to turn him on more. His hips thrust his cock into her mouth and every time she muffles or gags she can feel a forceful twitch as his length jumps.
She gets a good rhythm going. Taking as much of him as she can get and using her hands on his balls and base of his cock.
“Fuuuck, just like that. Take it all,” Gojo grips her hair, pushing her down onto his cock until he’s fucking her face.
She relaxes, letting him fuck into her as fast as he likes. Even when she starts to drool uncontrollably. He goes rough, but not rough enough to hurt her. And if he was, she’d use her teeth to teach him a lesson.
“Your mouth is so hot. Ugh, I’m gonna cum so much,” he moans.
She wants to touch herself but her body won’t coordinate enough. She can only focus on how good his hands feel on her head and how much pleasure she gets from hearing Gojo, the great and powerful, moan for her. How his abs flex and how he smells. How thick and sturdy his thighs feel underneath her palms.
She knows they’re a mess, but in this moment she doesn’t care. If they can find some comfort, even for a night, in each other. Well, that’s enough.
When he cums he presses deep down her throat. Makes her drink it all. His head tilts back, ethereal, and his moan vibrates from his chest so melodically that it rings in her ears like a choirs chorus.
They sleep together on the couch that night, too drunk to move to the bed. He kisses her more, his lips plush and soft as her fingers dance along the lines of his clavicles. Until they both fall into a deep sleep.
___
A drunken man buys her a drink. She buys one back. That’s how it goes. Outside, the shadow of spindly trees sprawl across dark pavement. The wind shakes the door and she startles, an unwelcome hand places itself on her thigh.
“What are your plans for tonight?” He asks.
“I’m not sure,” she says.
It rubs her knee and she wants to smack it with all her strength but instead she takes a sip of her drink, not bothering to acknowledge it.
“A hotel room?” He prompts.
“Not on your life.” She takes another deep sip of her drink. She should have ordered something to eat, she’s feeling a little too floaty.
“Come on,” he urges, crooked teeth showing themselves.
His hand moves up and she breathes silently.
“What the fuck are you smiling about,” she replies seriously, watching his face go blank.
“Yo!” A voice calls following the slide of the door.
She turns to see his figure. How he bounces with confidence each step. Ebullient. How his blue eyes peek at her over the dark rim of his glasses. The hand at her thigh disappears.
“Thought I’d find you here,” Gojo says, taking a seat next to her.
“Come for a drink?” She asks.
“Come for you,” he says.
There is something in his voice that has an edge. Dangerous. She can recognize something sharp when it’s right in front of her. His body language is stiff. Despite it all, she takes another drink, swirling the contents of her glass on the bar top.
“You’re drunk,” he says.
“So?”
She can see him appraise the bar. Watches his eyes survey the patrons with scrutiny. He’s way too fucking observant.
“So it’s time to go home.”
“I’m not done yet,” she replies. It’s not like her to let someone else decide what she can and can’t do.
“Come’on. This wine is cheap, I have better at my place.”
He’s not mean. He’s not even pushy. It’s so like him.
Where have you been?
She’s asked the question so many times, now. But he is here. She wants to pull him by the sweater toward her. Wants to bury her face in him and bang her fists against his chest for leaving on a mission without telling her. Wants to hear his stupid laugh and feel whole again. He’s alive.
“Okay,” is all she can say.
___
Sometimes there are no consequences. There is only a story. A life. Only the feeling of your best friends embrace. Only his kiss and the way he touches you. Only his hand in yours and the familiar scent of his cologne.
She realizes she is staring out the window. The rain is pelting the glass when she sees a dark figure under the street lights moving forward. She puts her drink down on the counter. Unlocks and opens the door to her apartment.
“How did you know it was me?” Gojo asks.
“Just did,” she says.
When he enters she asks if he needs a towel.
“You’ll catch cold.”
“I’m fine.”
There’s only a breath between them before he pushes her against the wall. He pulls his shirt off. Then her night shirt. His skin is chilled and it makes her shudder at his touch. His kiss tastes sweet, his tongue like candy in her mouth and she welcomes him wholeheartedly. He moves fervently. Hungrily. He pulls and kneads at her flesh as if it’s the last time he will ever get to feel her.
“Slower,” she says.
“Not anymore.”
She’s only wearing panties and he makes short work of them, kneeling to the floor as he pulls them down and helping her out of them. He kisses up her thighs. Then her stomach. Then her breasts. She doesn’t know when he removes his own pants but he does.
He’s rough with her this time. His mouth sucking inky crescents into her skin and his hands moving her in every way he likes. He lifts her with ease, letting her legs wrap around his hips while he presses her back into the wall.
She can feel the head of his cock circle around her hole. It’s the first time she feels him here and her head lulls back at the teasing. She lets out a sharp inhale when he presses inside of her for the first time and the groan he makes has her wrapping her arms around his neck as if her life depends on his anchor.
He feels so fucking big that at first it hurts, the way he stretches her. But the more he thrusts the wetter she gets, until she can’t help but grind her hips down into him. Desperate for more. And Gojo holds her up so easily, practically bruising her with the way he slams her down onto him by her hips.
They both breathe and moan into each others mouths. His tongue laps at her lips between sucking on them as he fucks her hard, his kisses moving down her jawline and to her throat.
“You feel so good,” he confesses into her warm skin.
“So do you.”
“I’ve wanted this for a long time.”
“I know,” she says.
She should be less surprised at how easily he holds her up. As if she weighs nothing. He pushes inside of her as deeply as he can, drawing out a string of moans like pearls from her parted lips.
“You’re so good and tight for me.”
“Yeah? You wanna cum inside me?” She pants.
“I do. I’m gonna fill your tight little pussy with cum until you’re dripping with it.”
“I want you…I want you to fill me up,” she whines.
His cock feels so good, the head hitting her deeply just as she likes. He drives into her with pent-up force and she can’t even find it in her to dislike the way his hip bones cut into the soft skin of her thighs. She likes the ache. Likes the sound it makes each time he rams into her. Likes the pounding of her back hitting the cold wall and the way her Hung pictures shake, waiting for the right moment to crash to the ground.
“I knew you’d feel so fucking good, Shoko.”
“Don’t stop—ahh—right there, please,” she begs.
She’s so close, and his hips are merciless. She digs her fingernails into the skin of his back but he doesn’t seem to care. Or notice. He just continues to fuck her right there in the entryway, now using his large hands to push her down on his cock until there’s nothing left for him to give. Their foreheads touch and she concentrates on his thick white lashes as he looks down on her. And the way their breath mingles in what little space is left between them.
When she cums it rolls through her like a vicious storm, hitting hard and fast and when he feels her tighten up he bounces her on his cock, rubbing a thumb into her clit until she’s shaking in his arms. Until his rough bounces push staccato whines from the depths of her chest.
“Fuck yeah,” he groans.
He’s breathless while he fucks her through her orgasm, until she goes limp in his arms and even still he continues to push her down onto his greedy cock.
“God, you’re so wet. I can’t get enough.”
The overstimulation is too much, she tries to break free from his grasp but he won’t let her. Not when he’s so close. He holds her down, grabbing her limbs that are so desperate to break free and pushing them to her sides. Kisses her mouth and holds her by the face, locking her in and she can feel his deep exhales against her skin as he kisses her senseless. She’s so slick now, she can hear it.
His hips stutter when he cums. With each spurt inside of her he groans and they’re holding each other so closely that she can feel the vibrations through her chest. They’re both slick with sweat now and he stays inside of her, pumping slowly until he’s spent every last drop and even then he’s hesitant to pull away.
When he finally does let her down she can hardly walk, legs wobbling like a newborn fawn as they take her to a room she can get cleaned up in. And when they reconvene on the couch its a heavy silence that stretches between the two of them, as if it’s a strip of rubber they’re curious to see how long it can get.
She pulls her pack from the coffee table, lighting her usual cigarette and sighing at the way it makes her tired body tingle and relax.
“I thought you quit,” he says.
“I did.”
Silence. Another crackling inhale. She puts her feet up onto his lap, letting her head fall back onto the arm of the couch.
“I think I love you,” he breaks the silence.
“Oh.”
“I mean, I’ve always loved you as a friend. But I think I love you…more than that.”
“I see.”
She had to know this would eventually happen. That there was no way they could continue on their path without encountering a crossroads. That at some point, some turn she failed to see, they had begun to mean more to one another than simple friendship. Than fleeting comfort on lonely nights. She doesn’t know what path they’re on now, but she knows there is no turning back. She needs a drink, her throat feels dry and her tongue feels heavy in her mouth as she looks to Gojo. His face is so boyish and pitiful as he waits for her to say something. Anything. She rubs her face with a groan, as if it may be torture to say what she is about to say. The cigarette shakes in her trembling hand.
pairing: Gojo x fem!reader words:1,008 warnings: public sex, cockwarming, unprotected sex, fingering synopsis: You look too cute, and Gojo just can’t wait till you get home a/n: the time has come everyone: kinktober has arrived! i just need everyone to know that i’m way farther behind than i expected to be, so the likelihood of me finishing this challenge on time are very slim. however, i will try my hardest to get everything out to you asap because i’m really excited about everything that is to come. hope you enjoy the first piece!
The train was crammed full, the dull chatter of passengers filling the stale air. Gojo was pressed up against your back, one hand hanging loosely from the bar above you, the other gripping your waist to keep you steady against the sway of the car. You were situated in a back corner, somewhat shielded by a larger man in front of you.
“You look delectable today, darling,” he murmured into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. “I could just eat you up.”
With an exasperated sigh, you leaned your head back against his collarbone. “’Toru, you’re so cheesy.” You couldn’t help the small smile that spread across your lips though. This kind of line was nothing new, but they always did make your stomach flutter.
“Cheese would pair delightfully with the meal I’d like to have,” he chuckled, lips pressing against the skin behind your ear. Your breath hitched at the contact, your mind going fuzzy as you let your eyes drift shut. “How about a little taste of the main course right now?”
pairing: Gojo x fem!reader words:1,008 warnings: public sex, cockwarming, unprotected sex, fingering synopsis: You look too cute, and Gojo just can’t wait till you get home a/n: the time has come everyone: kinktober has arrived! i just need everyone to know that i’m way farther behind than i expected to be, so the likelihood of me finishing this challenge on time are very slim. however, i will try my hardest to get everything out to you asap because i’m really excited about everything that is to come. hope you enjoy the first piece!
The train was crammed full, the dull chatter of passengers filling the stale air. Gojo was pressed up against your back, one hand hanging loosely from the bar above you, the other gripping your waist to keep you steady against the sway of the car. You were situated in a back corner, somewhat shielded by a larger man in front of you.
“You look delectable today, darling,” he murmured into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. “I could just eat you up.”
With an exasperated sigh, you leaned your head back against his collarbone. “’Toru, you’re so cheesy.” You couldn’t help the small smile that spread across your lips though. This kind of line was nothing new, but they always did make your stomach flutter.
“Cheese would pair delightfully with the meal I’d like to have,” he chuckled, lips pressing against the skin behind your ear. Your breath hitched at the contact, your mind going fuzzy as you let your eyes drift shut. “How about a little taste of the main course right now?”
