#kink anniversary
So, I actually mostly wrote up all of this last week, but sort of stopped in the middle. But now I’ve finished! Only two happy hours later.
Tuesday, May 13, Breastie and I went to a local TNG happy hour. A guy who messaged me on OkCupid (known as L until I think of something better) extended an invitation to me to attend, which made me feel more comfortable about going. On the way to the event, though, I definitely would have bailed if Breastie hadn’t been with me.
We got there early but didn’t realize it and she made me go in first. She was actually being kinda dommy, and it worked. Fuck, I’m easy. When we realized that no one was there, we decided to go to the bar next door and each had a drink. When it was about fifteen minutes past when it was supposed to start, we headed over.
There were only about four or five other people there, and a redheaded guy came over and introduced himself. This one will be known as Boy Genius. We paid our cover and got our drinks and then sat down to talk. The people who were there eventually came over because we were novel and, let’s be real, a pair of hot ladies. They introduced themselves and we started talking. Breastie and I worked as a team and played odd each other and checked in with each other, which was really nice and made a potentially anxiety-making social situation much more comfortable. At one point, I had to go to the bathroom, and Breastie said I could only go if I told MLAM. So I texted him and said “So, we’re at the TNG happy hour and Breastie is being dommy. She gave me permission to pee on the condition that I told you about it.”
As we continued chatting with people, a tallish, thin guy with long hair came in, and eventually introduced himself. He also asked if he could play with my hair, and I said yes. He got permission to rub and scratch my head, as well. He also did the same to Breastie. It was nice feeling, if a little bit much in terms of contract with someone I didn’t know.
We went upstairs around 8 to start the class. It was about masochism, and the presenter discussed masochism as a 3x2 table. Three kinds of masochism (physical, mental/emotional, status) and two orientations of who it is focused on (masochist-centric vs. sadist-centric). It was an interesting and possibly useful idea. I think that personally, I’m less into the physical masochism than the other kinds, although still into it, except as a sadist-centric thing, like taking pain for someone. It’s interesting in the context of the play that MLAM and I do, since he’s interested in me getting what I want out of the play, and enjoys seeing me react to things and enjoy things. It’s not about him enjoying hurting me, exactly, but I still really like trying to take more and more pain for him, outside of any enjoyment I get from the pain itself. I’m clearly very into the mental/emotional aspects of masochism, and getting more and more into the status side of it, with acknowledging my place as inferior to men.
We broke up into groups to discuss various scenarios, and while that was happening, MLAM texted back in response to my text about Breastie letting me piss on the condition that I told him. He said, “Oh, I like her. Give her my number and tell her i’d like her to contact me so we can fuck with you collectively.“ I showed it to Breastie and gave her his number, and texted back, "Oh, fuck. She’s texting you. I’m scared and excited.” That was definitely the correct mix of emotions, considering how she tied me later, and how compatible they are in terms of enjoying fucking with me. They both like setting people up with tasks that they are bound to fail at, and they both know many of my buttons and how to press them just long enough. Or just a little too long. I do hope we can all three hang out sometime and they can torture me together in person.
After the class, we decided to stay upstairs to watch people play. The guy who had come over and greeted us at the beginning, Boy Genius, tied this crazily pretty girl. He pushed her around a bit and they both had on these giant smiles and it was super hot and super adorable. When they were done and she was getting her dress back on, she strongly recommended playing with him, and said he was the first person she’d played with. I’m a fan of having references for someone from people who have bottomed/subbed for them, so that was nice.
He offered to teach Breastie and I some rope stuff, and we agreed. He said, “Usually when you’re learning to tie, there’s someone being tied.” I said, “Oh! I’ll do it!” right away, because holy crap so fun, but then I offered the opportunity to Breastie because I felt bad for jumping right up because I know she’s also interested in being tied and doing subby things. She did let me do it, which was super nice of her.
We went over in the corner and he showed us a couple of simple things. He tied a cuff on me, then wrapped the rope around me, keeping it tight just by holding it. He got my consent to touch me aside from just the rope, and he touched me and talked to Breastie about what he was doing. He also wrapped around my legs and tied things off. He got permission to move me around, and told Breastie about how fun things were, and how something made a good anchor point to push me around and then he did that and he was being all dominating and in charge and powerful and it was wicked hot.
At one point, he was showing Breastie something and I had my back to her and he told me to “Stand there like a good object.” and I can’t even with how sexy that was. He had Breastie do the wrist cuff as well, and wrap me up and she did a fantastic job, especially with what she decided to do with the last bit of rope, which was to take it across my neck, which is both mean and a thing I really enjoy. Then, she did a really good job with untying me while keeping the tension on.
Boy Genius told Breastie that she did well, and she definitely seems like a natural. It’s probably because she used to tying things and messing with knots and tension and learning new skills because she’s so damn crafty. He also told me that I did a good job of being tied, which was kind of him. He added that he’d be willing to show us more and was super nice.
We went over to get food afterwards with people, and I got to listen to people talk about plans for a big event and talking about the culture at various events/groups. L even made a special effort to bring me into the conversation, asking me about my thoughts on playing while intoxicated. Breastie was not so fortunate. She had the guy from earlier with the head scratches glom onto her. I saw him sit next to her and eventually heard him say that he was a multiple and I thought “Oh, dear.” Breastie respond kindly and I checked in on her a couple times throughout the rest of the night and offered her a way out a couple times. I feel bad that she got put in an uncomfortable position and I resolved to help her defend her boundaries as much as she needed to the next time.
I’m so very glad that we went, and I really like the people we met and the feel of the community.
A year ago today I went to my first Tuesday happy hour. It’s hard to believe I’ve been in the area that long and been part of the local community that long. It feels like only a few months ago I was still nervous about going to happy hours by myself, worried that I wouldn’t find anyone to talk to.
Over the course of that year, I’ve tried on different kinks and different roles, experimenting with new things and figuring out what I enjoy doing, what I don’t enjoy doing, and what I enjoy being made to do because I don’t enjoy it. I’ve met fantastic people, made amazing new friends, and had wonderful partners. I’ve had tons of fun, gotten plenty of lovely bruises and marks, and had so many experiences, some fun and some not-so-fun, but all of them interesting.
Many many many thanks to Breastie for accompanying me and helping me go despite my social anxiety and nervousness.
Happy kinkiversary to me!
