#kitten pet play

I wish I knew what to do. I wish I was sexier. I wish I was healthy in body and mind to be more easily lovable. I wish I could give her my everything, but that’s not enough. It’s not enough that I tried everything possible to make her happy that I knew, neither is me going out and learning from others new ways to create love.
I guess Mistress doesn’t want a needy and sick kitten, and it hurts. My body hurts horribly and is sending me off to dreams where I am loved again, but it’s never right. Her face lingers in my psyche, where my new lover looks like her, where she is always present, where the naughtiness that she showed me is always there, and I can’t make it go away.
It’s as if she’s bored of me now that I’m no longer innocent. She soiled me and I’m rendered useless because now I kiss, tease, and fuck well, despite everything that she said she loved and would never change. She said she loved how soft and innocent my voice is, my pale skin, that I was soft rather than toned, that I was tall and wide…. nothing seems good enough and I just feel guilty and disgusting.

My mistress is visiting again and she has no interest in me sexually again. She’s talking about how her friends and my sister are attractive and sexy, but hasn’t said a word to me. I want to cry from embarrassment and shame

meow ♡