Her mother had always planned to tell Lucy about the curse someday. Soon. When she was older. There was no need to rush these things, her mother thought, let her live the life of an innocent child a little longer. She’d be living with it for the rest of her life, in one way or another.
But biology had other ideas, and Lucy hit puberty rather early, in fifth grade. Her mother knew that the time had come when Lucy said one day at breakfast, “This cereal tastes funny.”
Her mother’s heart sank, but she forced herself to sound casual as she asked, “Is the milk bad?”
“No. It’s not that. It just tastes kinda…boring. Almost flavorless.” She poked at the cereal bowl with her spoon, then took another bite. She frowned as she chewed. “Bleh,” she pronounced, after she’d swallowed.
“Maybe you’re getting a cold?” her mother suggested. “Having a stuffed-up nose can change your sense of taste.”
Lucy sniffed dramatically through clear nostrils. “Nope.”
Her mother sighed. “Well, you need to eat something for breakfast. Just…choke it down, then get ready for school.”
“Bleh,” Lucy repeated, but she did as instructed.
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When Lucy got home from school that afternoon, her mother sat her down on the couch for a talk.
“Your body is going through some changes—”
Lucy rolled her eyes. “You’ve already told me about boobs and periods, Mom.”
“Yes, but this is different. Every girl goes through that. But in our family…” Her mother took a deep breath. “Our family is cursed.”
Lucy looked blankly at her mother. “Cursed? Like…Princess Fiona?”
Her mother tried to smile. “Almost. But we don’t become hideous redheads, or ogres. Instead…all food is flavorless. Unless it is given to us by one who loves us.”
“Loves us? Like, my prince charming? Or Shrek?”
“No, it doesn’t have to be romantic love, any deep friendship or bond will do.”
“Wait—you made my breakfast, and it tasted bleh—does that mean you don’t—“ Lucy’s eyes went wide, and she bit her lip.
Her mother pulled her close and hugged her tight. “No, no, no, sweetie, I love you as much as ever, don’t ever doubt that. But…the curse begins when you become a woman. And at that point, a parent’s love is not enough.”
“I’m only twelve! I’m not a woman!”
Her mother smiled sadly. “The curse is rather literal. I suspect you’ll be having your first period in the next week or so.”
“Yuck.”
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Lucy had never suspected that the answer to her curse might come from another girl, so when she reluctantly took a proffered Milk Dud from Diane at the movies one night, she was not prepared for the explosion of flavor in her mouth. She gasped, and almost started crying at the return of flavor, something she had not experienced in over two years. Despite her mother’s warnings, she asked Diane for another, only to confirm that the curse only allowed the flavor to exist when the food was freely given, not asked for.
Suddenly her double-dates with Diane took on new meaning. She knew Diane had no romantic interest in her, but she found she did not reciprocate that platonic interest. It was hard not to fall in love with Diane, who provided her with such elemental pleasure. And all unknowing, simply by loving her as a friend.
But she lived for those moments Diane offered her a french fry or piece of candy.
____________________
Once Rhoda found Catalina, Lucy was able to see the smaller girl in a clearer light. She suspected that Rhoda sympathized with her, thought that Lucy had an unrequited crush on Diane. But there was no way Rhoda could know the full extent of Lucy’s feelings for Diane. It wasn’t just a crush, although it had started with a desperate longing to taste something wonderful again. A desire for a sensual pleasure that went beyond sex. Her initial attraction to Diane might have been sensual, but over time it grew to be much more than that.
And still Diane remained oblivious.
____________________
The year Diane gave her a box of Godiva chocolates for her birthday was one of the best birthdays of her life. Lucy had saved and savored those chocolates for months, nibbling each truffle an eighth, or sixteenth, at a time, stretching them out for as long as she could. The sensual delight of chocolate melting across her tongue, exploding with flavor and filling her senses, was almost sexual in and of itself. She wept as she at the last little crumb of chocolate, and hoped and prayed that Diane would repeat the gift next year. She knew she couldn’t ask for it, was afraid to even hint at it.
But what she got instead was a Lush make up kit.
____________________
Lucy watched Diane giggle and shove a spoonful of ice cream into the boy’s mouth, wishing desperately that it was her that Diane was feeding. She couldn’t even recall the boy’s name. He was just another boy. Like the boy she was with. Another stupid, interchangeable boy, getting the attention from Diane that Lucy so desperately craved.
“Excuse me,” she muttered, and pushed her way away from the table. “Gotta go to the ladies’ room.” Her own date nodded and didn’t say anything as she stalked off towards the restroom.
She leaned on her hands on the edge of the restroom sink and stared at herself in the mirror. Her heart felt leaden in her chest as she slowly shook her head.
Give up already, Lucy, she scolded herself. Diane is never going to see you the way you see her. Just…move on already, for God’s sake! Find someone else! Anyoneelse!
But the face staring back at her knew the cold truth. It lay in a lump in her stomach like the tasteless meal she’d just consumed.
Dammit. There is no one else.
She sighed, washed her hands, and headed back out to finish her tasteless dessert.
