tench:

gaynaturalistghost:

eyesofthesunflower:

danny-darko:

the-space-slut:

Aliens: Wow you guys sure are completely normal and not at all indescribably horny.

NASA *beating the alien fuckers with a broom*: Yep. Just a completely normal species. no inappropriate lusting for extraterrestrial booty here, no sir. 

I couldn’t let this be hidden in the replies

[ID: reply by lusciouslusus that reads,

“We zoom out slightly to reveal the aliens are ALSO beating their own alien-fuckers away with a space-broom.”

End ID]

As an asexual, I vibe with NASA on this one. It’s… a metaphor.

I don’t. Let them out

nimagine:

alexseanchai:

View on Twitter

[image: tweet by thefourthvine, transcribed below:]

Extremely concerned that the response to #DraculaDaily on my timeline:

Non-lawyers: Jonathan, RUN

Lawyers: I have never seen such an accurate depiction of the first few years of practicing law

peer review in the notes came back positive

aspiringwatcher:

candyredterezii:

candyredterezii:

none of those kids in Polar Express had names huh.

oh right they probably weren’t 13 yet okay

what the FUCK does that mean

phasered:

god i love this place

t1kt0k:

this was a RIDE and the end was a huge slap in the face

graaaaceeliz:

nerviovago:

Put the sound on PUT THE SOUND ON

@fugicross​ THOUGHT OF YOU IMMEDIATELY

squid-ink-personal:

squid-ink-personal:

itonje:

so it’s the month of may huh?…well if you replaced the ‘m’ in may with ‘g’ well…you ‘may’ be surprised at what you find

gonth

wait

powerburial:

sexhaver:

locusts are SO fucked up. imagine if your apartment complex got too crowded during a drought so everyone in it started overproducing serotonin until they gained 100lb of pure muscle and then chewed through the drywall of every building in the neighborhood

they do this over in philly

windmill-ghost:

windmill-ghost:

People making jokes about Morbius without having seen it don’t even know about the dance

You don’t know what it was like seeing this on the big screen in a nearly empty theater with no warning that it was about to happen

actualbird:

my parents who have been married for like a billion years are having their billion year anniversary in a few days and theyre renewing their vows. they put me in charge of planning and program and emcee-ing and they told me to “have fun with it” so heres my first two slides of the program

kiwi:

tinyflower-bouquet:

toskarin:

I have a bad habit of calling things “loathsome” if they mildly inconvenience me, which usually isn’t that bad, but today I spilled my drink and said “loathsome juice…” under my breath without realizing that’s not a normal thing to say

everyone started laughing

arnieb95:

Continually filling your mutual’s dash with your blorbo like some sort of missionary trying to convert them

dankmemeuniversity:

piedude:

notajerusalemcricket:

maybeitsasine:

maybeitsasine:

Love these notes

namira:

as compensation all NSFW blogs will get an extra hour in the ball pit 

starfleetofficial:

starfleetofficial:

why does H.P Lovecraft always look like he’s secretly holding a bird in his mouth