#lemonade review

Beyoncé’s Lemonade & Breaking “The Curse”

For a brief moment this weekend the world seemed to pause as Beyoncé released yet another riveting album. A lot of the attention seemed to focus on Jay-Z.

But far greater than the unveiled truth of Jay-Z’s alleged cheating scandal, is the unveiling of Beyoncé’s own truth: the alter-ego of the once powerful and unabashedly seductive “Yonce” was shattered revealing a vulnerable side to the mega star.

It was in the whispering way she spoke that punctured my own thoughts about love, loss, forgiveness and the idea of carrying on tradition, both good and bad. In the poetic words taken from Warsan Shire I heard Beyoncé’s truth abound.

“In the tradition of men in my blood you come home at 3AM and lie to me…The past, and the future merge to meet us here,” Beyonce said in Intuition.

Is it tradition that the men in her family cheat? Is it also tradition for the women in her family to accept it?

A closer listen to Beyoncé’s LEMONADE reveals the beautiful, yet sometimes painful truths about her own womanhood that she has unknowingly inherited as tradition.

On Facebook a friend of mine wrote, “I have never, ever, ever, ever been taught by my mother that it was okay to stay with a cheating man.”

While it might be easy to interpret Beyonce’s words as approving of infidelity or being accepting of abuse, I’d like to think there is something deeper we can all take from her.

A larger theme that pervades most of Bey’s work is the relationship between mother and daughter. Unknowingly, we walk like our mothers; talk like our mothers; even our bodies mold into the shapely curves of our mothers.

But what else have we inherited from her?

I, for one, have inherited the cautious and fearful persona of my mom – at times afraid to take risks and have suffered because of it.

For many, we replicate the love that we have been given – or not been given. So yes, unconsciously, we love like our mothers loved us and how she loved those around her.

Were there times you heard your restless mother endure tireless nights pacing up and down or cleaning the kitchen at 2 in the morning?

Were there times when your father would sing the praises of a “close family female friend”, but that same name would reduce your mother to grunts and groans from the back room?

What did you take from your mother’s groans? Was it interrupted as passive, uncaring, or blatant disregard?

In this personal admission of family tradition, Beyoncé shares a painful reality about herself and the women in her family that while both strong and beautiful, they endured hurt enacted on them from the men they called husband.

“You go to the bathroom to apply your mother’s lipstick. Somewhere no one can find you.You must wear it like she wears disappointment on her face,” Beyonce spoke during Accountability.

While she adored and idolized her mother’s beauty and grace, she also became all too familiar with her mother’s unhappiness.

The magical bond that exists between mothers and daughters is often nurtured in the unspoken and learned behaviors that shape a girl in her girlhood and later stick with her through her womanhood.

So did her mother teach her to accept infidelity? Certainly not. But mother’s give lessons although a lesson isn’t being taught.

 And in this quiet moment, where a young and impressionable Beyoncé was watching her gracefully postured mother ready herself with make-up, she also recognized a faint sadness.

“I tried to change. Closed my mouth more. Tried to be softer, prettier,” Beyoncé said in Denial.

This became her norm. This became a part of her definition of a wife and a mother.

Carefully through the album, we witness a broken and tireless Beyoncé break these traditions she once held steadfast.

“Baptize me,” she said in Forgiveness, “If we’re gonna heal, let it be glorious…Are you thankful for the hips that cracked? The deep velvet of your mother and her mother and her mother? There is a curse that will be broken.”

Her commitment to breaking the “curse” is the true take away from Lemonade.

The learned behaviors of our fathers and mothers don’t have to define us or instruct our future steps.

Beyoncé’s ability to recognize and reconcile the truth of her family and what she has accepted as normal, gave her the key to freedom that she needed to heal from the infidelity and the hurt endured from it.

In the words of Marianne Williamson, “When we liberate ourselves from our own fears, simply our presence may liberate others.”

Through our own freedom or even in breaking traditions we have come to know as the only way to live, we can forge a new way of being, not only for our daughters but for other girls and women who watch us and learn from us.

Sincerely @womansword